The Unexpected Knight - InvisiblePrincess2002 (2024)

Chapter 1: A Tragic Error in Judgment

Chapter Text

Chapter 1: A Tragic Error in Judgment

Harrison and Diane Ramsey were both strong-willed, proud, accomplished people. They were very successful attorneys in Washington, D.C., which was no small accomplishment given how hard things were for black people years ago when they were first starting out as law students. It was particularly difficult for Diane, who'd had both her race and her gender going against her at the time, but she managed to do quite well for herself in the end, along with her husband. Harrison and Diane had the kind of careers and the kind of lifestyle that their own parents had only been able to dream of, which was something they particularly took a lot of pride in.

And while their own parents often voiced their displeasure about it, the Ramseys were also equally proud of the fact that they'd had the money to send their two sons and their daughter to the finest boarding schools in the country. Neither Harrison's nor Diane's parents were happy with their "hands-off" approach to parenting, but it always meant a great deal to Harrison and Diane to be able to provide their children with the best education that money could buy. But even though they certainly wouldn't admit it even to themselves, much less to their parents or anybody else, way deep down, they were far happier allowing boarding schools to raise their children for them so that they could pour themselves wholeheartedly into the careers they adored.

However, they never expected their decision to send their sons, Harrison Ramsey, Jr. and Marshall Ramsey, off to a boys' school in Boston, and their daughter Dorothy (a.k.a. "Tootie") off to a girls' school in Peekskill, New York, to have such devastating consequences. Harrison Jr., who was now twenty-three, had gotten his degree in business and was now working for a company in Boston, and he had recently gotten married. Unfortunately though, Harrison and Diane almost never saw their older son and daughter-in-law, mostly because of the fact that they hardly ever saw him as he was growing up and Harrison Jr. now felt like he and his parents were nothing but strangers to each other.

It was much the same story with their middle child Marshall, although he longed to be able to live up to his parents' expectations and accomplishments. The pressure he consistently put on himself to try to follow in his parents' footsteps – despite the fact that he never wanted to become an attorney – eventually came to a head and he started looking for a way out. As he finished his last year of high school, he fell in with the wrong crowd and started looking to alcohol for relief from all the stress. He'd already gotten a DUI a month before the summer break started, and even though he had given his parents countless assurances that something like that was never going to happen again, they still worried about him constantly.

And at the beginning of Tootie's second year at the Eastland School for Girls, she got into her share of trouble as well. When two older students there, Jo Polniaczek and Blair Warner, got into an argument over who would be more attractive to men, they decided to settle it by hotwiring the school van and taking it to the nearest bar to meet guys. Tootie and her best friend, Natalie Green, ended up helping the girls steal the van and sneaking away to the bar with them. After Blair and Jo got busted by an undercover cop at the bar for their fake IDs, Tootie and Natalie got into the act and an altercation with the cop ensued – which resulted in Tootie and the rest of the girls getting thrown in jail, put on probation for six months, and expelled from Eastland. Thankfully, the newly-promoted school dietician, Mrs. Edna Garrett, stepped in and saved the day. After pleading with the headmaster, Tootie and the girls were reluctantly allowed to stay at Eastland, although they had to work with Mrs. Garrett in the kitchen and cafeteria until the damage to the school van (which they wrecked) was paid off. They also had to leave the dorms and move into the room across the hall from Mrs. Garrett's room so she could keep her eye on them.

But even though the Ramseys' youngest child had had her problems at Eastland from time to time, the family unit that she became a part of with Blair, Jo, Natalie, and Mrs. Garrett provided her with the stability, security, and unconditional love that a girl Tootie's age needed, and unlike Marshall, Tootie really thrived. And while Harrison and Diane almost never heard from Marshall unless he was in some kind of trouble, they still received plenty of letters and phone calls from Tootie. Regrettably, though, since Tootie could literally count on one hand how many weeks out of the year she spent with her parents after they shipped her off to Eastland at age twelve, she'd often come to feel as alienated from them as her older brothers did. Now, they seemed more like mere pen pals to her than parents, although she never would have actually admitted that to them. But it was entirely unnecessary for Tootie to have to tell them that painful fact of all their lives to their faces because it was something her parents – or at least her father – now thoroughly understood.

In the last week of August, only two and a half weeks before Tootie was supposed to return to Eastland to begin the fall semester of her freshman year, the Ramsey family was blindsided by a very sudden, tragic turn of events. Earlier that summer, while Tootie and the girls and Mrs. Garrett had been away in Paris, Harrison and Diane had opened their home to an old friend and colleague of theirs named Earl Brown. Earl had grown up in the same neighborhood with the Ramseys, and like them, he too had dreamed of a career in law. The threesome had been inseparable during their high school and college years, and they'd all worked together in the same law firm for a couple of years after they'd graduated from law school. He accepted a job offer from another law firm out in L.A. many years ago and moved there, and Harrison and Diane eventually started up their own law practice in Washington, D.C. After Earl moved to L.A., he got married and adopted two daughters. Then several years later when Tootie was five years-old, he accepted an offer for a better-paying position with another law firm in Washington, D.C. and moved his family there. Since then, he constantly spent time over at the Ramseys' house and vice versa. It was no secret that Earl was just like a brother to Harrison and Diane, and to Tootie and her older brothers, he was the uncle they never had. So when Earl and his wife started having marital problems and she eventually threw him out of the house, naturally, the Ramseys did not hesitate to take their "brother" in. Although Earl's wife had made terrible accusations against him, claiming that he'd been abusive to her and the kids and even accusing him of marital rape, Harrison and Diane didn't believe her for a second, and they had no second thoughts about allowing him to stay in their home. They grew up with this man and had known him for ages, and even though he wasn't related to the Ramseys by blood, they and their children all considered him family; Harrison and Diane honestly believed that Earl's estranged wife was simply making wild accusations to try to hurt him and ruin his reputation in their community. It was the most tragic error in judgment Harrison and Diane Ramsey ever made, and one they would regret for the rest of their lives.

When Tootie came home from her mini-vacation in Paris in late July, everything was basically business as usual. Throughout the last month of her summer vacation, she spent a lot of time hanging out with her old childhood friends and going places with them, or just lounging around the house. She also spent a good deal of time hanging out with her "uncle" and watching rented movies with him and things, and even though he was an adult her parents' age, she had a pretty good time with him. Earl had always been a charming, easygoing, fun-loving kind of guy and Tootie had just as much fun spending time with him that summer as she had when she'd gone over to his house to play with his daughters as a little kid. Tootie had known that Earl's wife had kicked him out, but her parents had never shared the details with her of his wife's accusations, so she'd seen no reason whatsoever to be afraid of him. To Tootie, everything was completely normal. Completely safe.

But on the last Friday of August, that all changed. On that Friday night, Tootie went out with a couple of kids in the neighborhood to see a movie while her parents were working late at the office. When Tootie came back home, to her horror, she found that the man who'd always been an uncle to her had seemingly transformed into an entirely different person. The once calm, cool, and collected Earl Brown the Ramseys always knew was drunk out of his mind when Tootie walked through the door that night, and the instant Tootie walked into her house, he got up in her face and started yelling at her. Tootie knew immediately that something was up; that something was not right, and she tried in vain to get away from him. She could see it in his eyes that he had a raw, disturbing desire to take all of the anger and rage he was feeling out on her, and while she chatted nervously, trying desperately to calm him down, there was no way the monster he was getting ready to unleashcouldbe calmed down.

When Harrison and Diane came home about half an hour later, they walked right into every parent's worst nightmare. During Earl's drunken rage, he'd thrown and broken numerous objects and turned the Ramsey's living room into a disaster area, but infinitely worse than that, the Ramseys found him lying on top of their unconscious daughter, raping her.

Harrison instantly flew into a rage of his own as he pulled his old "friend" off of his daughter and beat him within a hair of his life. And while her husband was beating the life out of Earl, Diane immediately covered her daughter's lower half with the quilt that had been folded up on their living room couch, and then she called 9-1-1. After she got off the phone with the dispatcher, she cradled her limp child in her arms and rocked her as she fought off tears.

When the police and the ambulance arrived, Earl Brown was half dead from the beating he'd received at the hands of Tootie's father, and Tootie was still unconscious. Diane had found an old family heirloom, a heavy crystal vase passed down to her from her mother, shattered on the floor near Tootie's head when they came in, and she'd found tiny little pieces of crystal in Tootie's hair, so it was obvious to everyone that Earl had knocked her out with it. And fortunately for Tootie, she remained unconscious as a rape kit exam was performed on her in the emergency room, so she was spared from having to endure the discomfort of the procedure.

When Tootie finally came to several hours later at around one o'clock the next morning, Diane was sitting in a recliner by her hospital bed. Diane instantly took Tootie's hand in hers the moment her daughter opened her eyes.

"Hi, sweetheart," she said quietly as she fought off tears once again.

"Mom?" Tootie groaned.

"Yes, baby. It's Mama. I'm here. I'm right here."

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital."

"My head. It's killing me," she said with another groan. Then, in that instant, it all came back to her in a flash and she sat up with a start. "Oh God, Mom. Earl...he–"

Diane got up out of her seat then and put her hand on Tootie's shoulder and said, "Baby, you were attacked. Earl…he…he hurt you very badly. He hit your head with a vase, and you were knocked unconscious. The doctor says you have a concussion, and he's keeping you here in the hospital for the next few days for observation."

In that next moment, Tootie realized that something else was wrong with her body besides the pain in her head.

"Mom…something's not right. I'm…I'm sore."

Diane knew what Tootie meant, and after she fought off yet another onslaught of tears, she explained, "Baby, Earl…he did something…absolutely terrible to you. While you were unconscious, he...he raped you."

"Rapedme?" Tootie said in disbelief.

"Yes. When your daddy and I got home from work and walked through the door, we found him on top of you…forcing himself on you."

Tootie vehemently shook her head and argued, "No. No, it's not true. It can't be."

Diane took Tootie's hand again, looked into her eyes, and told her in a low, emotional voice, "I'm so sorry."

After a long, uncomfortable silence, Diane said gently, "Tootie, baby, it's okay if you need to cry."

Tootie let go of her mother's hand then and responded, "No, Mom, I don't want to cry. I just want to be alone right now."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. If you're certain you don't want me to stay, I guess I'll go home for the rest of the night. Your father's still at the police station giving the cops his statement. I can call him there and tell him to come by here if you want to see him before the morning," Diane offered.

Tootie shook her head and told her, "No thanks, Mom. I just want to be alone for the rest of the tonight. I'll see you and Dad tomorrow."

"Alright," she sighed, and then she got up from her seat. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will," Tootie said quietly, and then after another painful silence, Diane reluctantly left.

That morning was no less uncomfortable for Tootie and her mother and father. The police came to her hospital room and took a statement from her about what had happened, and for the rest of the morning after the cops left, very little was said between them. While Harrison and Diane longed to be able to comfort Tootie, she made it painfully clear that she wasn't in any mood to be comforted, and when she asked to be left alone again, the Ramseys didn't know what else to do so they obliged her.

When they came home from the hospital at about ten o'clock that morning, they realized that they had to call their daughter's school and inform them of what had happened. While the doctor had said that Tootie would be back on her feet within a few days, the Ramseys weren't certain if their daughter would be emotionally ready to pick up with school again just yet, so Harrison called the headmaster and told him everything. And the moment Harrison Ramsey picked up the phone and dialed the number of the headmaster's office, he was pleasantly surprised when he heard the voice answer on the other end.

Over the past three years, Eastland had had three different headmasters. During Tootie's first year at Eastland, Mr. Stephen Bradley was the headmaster, and although he was certainly childish and a bit of a goofball, underneath it all, he was really a very loveable soul who cared a great deal about all his students. After Mr. Bradley completed his first year at Eastland as headmaster, his grandmother who lived in Rhode Island fell and broke her hip. She was ordinarily a fiercely independent soul, but at her age and with such a severe injury, it simply wasn't feasible for her to live on her own anymore. Thus, Stephen resigned his position at Eastland and accepted a job as a principal in a public school in Providence and moved in with his grandmother to care for her. And after Stephen left, there was an undeniable void at Eastland in the headmaster department. The next two headmasters that came after him, Mr. Harris and Mr. Parker, were little more than self-serving bureaucrats who were hopelessly out of touch with what was really going on in the lives of their students.

However, when Mr. Parker was offered another position as headmaster at a private school in Manhattan a couple of months ago, he accepted it, and fortunately, it didn't take long for Eastland to find a suitable replacement. Sadly, Mr. Bradley's grandmother passed away several months ago at the age of ninety-two, and while he put in a lot of time, effort, and energy at his school in Providence, he just wasn't happy there anymore. Out of all the schools where he'd previously worked, Eastland had by far been his favorite, and even after so much time had passed, he still missed working at Eastland and the incredible sense of family everyone seemed to have there. And when he learned that the position of headmaster at Eastland was open once again, he jumped at the chance to get his old job back.

And when Harrison called Eastland and he heard Mr. Bradley's voice on the other end, it was indeed a pleasant surprise for him. The Ramseys had been unaware of the fact that Mr. Bradley had returned to his previous position at Eastland, but Harrison was quite pleased to find out that he had. Harrison had met Mr. Bradley during Tootie's first year at Eastland when he'd gone there to speak about careers for women in law during Career Day at the school, and it had been obvious to him right from the get-go how much everyone there truly cared about his daughter, including Mr. Bradley. He'd only spoken to Mr. Harris and Mr. Parker one time each over the phone, and during both conversations it was clear that neither of them cared about Tootie the way Mr. Bradley had.

Once Harrison and Mr. Bradley said hello and exchanged the expected pleasantries that morning, Harrison came right to the point and explained everything that Tootie had just been through. Harrison could hear it through the phone how devastated Mr. Bradley was to hear the news, and he couldn't possibly have been kinder or more compassionate. When Harrison explained that he wasn't sure when Tootie would be emotionally ready to return to Eastland, Mr. Bradley was very understanding, and he assured him that he and all of the Eastland staff would do everything they possibly could to help Tootie through this.

After their conversation was over and Mr. Bradley hung up the phone, he leaned back in his desk chair, closed his eyes, and let out a long sigh. To say the least, he was pretty heartbroken. He'd been in charge of hundreds of students during all his years as an educator and obviously, he couldn't remember every single one of them, but one student he'd never been able to forget was Tootie Ramsey. Tootie had always had a lively, bubbly personality that just naturally stood out, and in her first year at Eastland, it had taken her all of two seconds to steal everybody's hearts, including Mrs. Garrett's and Mr. Bradley's. He now easily recalled the adorable, fun-loving, mischievous, hilarious little girl he first met three years ago, and as he thought of that little girl getting attacked and brutally raped, he had to fight to keep from crying.

Mr. Bradley took a couple of minutes to catch his breath and regain his composure, and then he called Mrs. Garrett into his office.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Garrett came walking inside, being her usual chipper self, and she smiled and said, "Hello, Mr. Bradley. What can I do for you?"

Mr. Bradley locked his eyes with Mrs. Garrett then and told her, "Edna, something's happened. You need to sit down. I have some very bad news."

"What is it, Mr. Bradley?" she asked worriedly. "It's not one of my girls, is it?"

"I'm afraid so," he replied somberly. "I just got off the phone with Mr. Ramsey a little while ago. It's Tootie."

Edna's heart rate jumped to about three hundred in that moment as she asked, "What's happened to Tootie?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey had this old friend of the family named Earl Brown," he started to explain.

"Yes. Tootie's mentioned him before. She said that he was always like the uncle she never had. She told me all about how she used to go over to his house when she was a little girl to play with his two daughters. Has something happened to him?"

"Apparently, he and his wife were having marital difficulties. His wife recently threw him out of the house, and Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey took him in. He's been staying with the Ramseys a little while. Anyway, to come to the point, while Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey were working late at the office last night, Tootie went out to the movies with some friends in her neighborhood, and when she came back home, Earl Brown attacked her."

"Attacked her?"

"Yes. He knocked her unconscious…and then he raped her."

"Rapedher?" Edna gasped in shock, unable to believe her ears.

"Yes," Mr. Bradley responded in an emotional whisper.

"Oh, God," Edna whispered, and then she covered her mouth to fight off the sobs threatening to escape from her throat.

"In addition to the obvious," Mr. Bradley continued, "Tootie suffered a concussion and various lacerations and bumps and bruises. She's going to be in the hospital for the next few days for observation."

"I can't believe it," Edna said quietly.

"I know Tootie is one of 'your girls,' as you put it. I know you've been responsible for her here at the school during the past two years. I thought you should be the first to know."

"Yes, Mr. Bradley, thank you for telling me. I should call the rest of the family and let them know."

"The rest of the family?"

"My other girls. Natalie, Blair, Jo."

"Ah. Yes, you're right. I'm sure they'll want to know."

"Well like I said, thank you for telling me about this," Edna said they each stood up from their seats. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some phone calls to make."

"Of course," Stephen said, and then Edna turned around and began walking out of his office. Then in that moment, he called, "Edna?"

Edna turned around again and responded, "Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. So am I," Edna told him in a low voice, and then she walked out the door.

Edna Garrett and her girls were such a close-knit family that it was hardly any surprise that by four o'clock that afternoon, she, Blair, and Natalie were gathered together in Tootie's hospital room, having flown in from different places. Jo, who drove in from the Bronx on her motorcycle, arrived at the hospital a little after six. Diane was too distraught to face her daughter in the hospital a second time around that day, but Harrison went back to see her again that evening, and when he got there, Edna and the girls were all there too.

And once again, his (and everyone's) time with Tootie was painful and awkward. Neither he nor any of the girls had any idea of what to say to truly help Tootie, and once more, Tootie wasnotin the mood to talk. Finally, Blair, Jo, and Natalie decided to say goodnight and let Tootie get some rest, and Harrison said goodnight to his daughter soon after they left as well.

But practically the very minute Harrison walked out of Tootie's hospital room, she began crying and sobbing in Mrs. Garrett's arms. When Harrison heard her crying, he turned around and opened the door a crack, only to see Mrs. Garrett holding and rocking Tootie in her arms while she broke down into sobs. As he watched the scene unfold, a silent tear escaped from his own eye also as he realized that Edna Garrett was closer to his own daughter and more of a parent in her eyes than he was. He'd always been so proud of the fact that he was able to send his child to a first-class boarding school like Eastland to receive such a great education. But he'd honestly never expected their decision to send her there to carry such consequences, nor had he expected those consequences to cut this deep.

Chapter 2: Natalie's Advice

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: Natalie's Advice

"No!" Tootie angrily cried out. "I don't want to do this, Mr. Bradley! I don't want to go into counseling!"

Classes had resumed at Eastland two weeks after Tootie had been released from the hospital, and even though her parents weren't certain if she was really ready for it yet or not, Tootie insisted that she wanted to go back to school as soon as possible, so they agreed. But despite the fact that Tootie was relieved to be with Mrs. Garrett and the girls again, one thing she wasnotrelieved about was finding out that Mr. Bradley was going to make her start attending regular sessions with their school counselor, Mrs. Madeline Matthews, a woman whom she barely knew.

"Tootie, please, just listen to me. Just hear me out," Mr. Bradley pleaded with her, and after receiving an equally pleading look from Mrs. Garrett who was standing next to her in front of his desk, Tootie stiffened, folded her arms and listened. "Tootie, I don't mean to force something on you that you don't want to do, but I must insist that you have regular sessions with our counselor twice a week. You've been through an incredibly traumatic experience. I can't evenbeginto imagine what you've been through; what youstillmust be going through," he told her seriously as his gaze met hers. "And what has happened to you is something that no one person can come through alone without help. If you'd fallen and broken your leg, you wouldn't want to just put it in a splint and not ever go to a doctor. An injury like that requires attention from a professional. And in the same way, you've been injured on the inside, and your injury must be seen to by a professional."

"Well I think it's stupid," Tootie complained. "No amount of talking about it and reliving it with some woman I hardly even know is going to undo what that creep did to me, Mr. Bradley."

"We realize that, Tootie," Mrs. Garrett said sympathetically. "But still, give Mrs. Matthews a chance. I know it won't be easy, but Mrs. Matthews just might prove herself to be a lot more helpful to you than you think."

"Do I have a choice?" Tootie asked bitterly.

"Tootie, please understand that I am simply trying to act in your best interests," said Mr. Bradley.

"Why can't you guys letmedecide what's in my best interests?" Tootie asked with disgust, and then she stomped out of Mr. Bradley's office and slammed the door behind her.

"Oh, dear," Mr. Bradley sighed.

"Don't worry, Mr. Bradley. I'll try and talk to her," Mrs. Garrett assured him.

"Thank you. You know Edna, I realize it now how silly I used to act when I was headmaster here a couple of years ago. I never would have admitted this back then, but even though I was a grown adult, I was pretty immature and childish in the way I handled a lot of situations that arose, and I needed your guidance a lot more often than I would have liked to acknowledge. There were a lot of times whenyouwould have made a better headmaster than I was. You know I'm an only child and that I lost both of my parents in a car wreck when I was in my early twenties, and that I lost my only surviving grandparent a few months ago. Let's just say that suddenly finding yourself all alone in the world without any family really has a way of making even the most immature person finally grow up."

"I can imagine," she said kindly. "And I really was so sorry to hear about your grandmother."

"Thank you. I'm sorry she's gone, too, but the important thing is, she had a long, rich, full life."

"I'm sure she did, and I'm sure she was very proud of you."

"Thanks," Stephen told her, and then there was a pause in the conversation for a couple of moments. "Anyway," Stephen continued, "had this attack occurred when I was at Eastland a couple of years ago, I probably would have acted like some kind of foolish know-it-all and pretended I knew how to handle the situation when in reality, I would have had no idea what the heck I was doing and I would've been too proud toadmitthat I didn't know what I was doing. Now, I'm not too immature and I'm not too proud to admit it that I'm really in over my head, here. I think the world of Tootie and I want to do anything and everything within my power to help her through this, but I have no idea how. Help me, Edna. Please. I need it."

Edna smiled, pleased with how much Mr. Bradley really had "grown up" since the last time he was at Eastland, and she told him, "I think you're doing a lot better than you're giving yourself credit for. I think you're absolutely right that Tootie's been injured inside and that that injury needs to be seen to by a professional. And I think that other than getting her into counseling, we have to do everything we can to make sure she doesn't let her fear paralyze her. I know she's afraid right now, and I'm sure she'll want to hide away from the world like Natalie did when she was attacked last year. We may have to be ready to give her a good, old-fashioned push when she needs it, just like I had to do with Natalie."

Mr. Bradley nodded and said, "Thanks for the input, my old friend."

"You're welcome. And welcome back. We've missed you."

"Thank you. I appreciate that. I've missed you and everyone here at Eastland, too."

"It's good to have you back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better go have a word with Tootie."

"Of course," Mr. Bradley said, and then Mrs. Garrett left his office and followed Tootie back to the cafeteria to have a talk with her.

Later that evening, when Mrs. Garrett and the girls had finished cleaning up after supper, Blair went out to see a movie with her latest boyfriend from Bates, and Jo, who was having problems with her bike, was outside trying to fix it. Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrett was getting out the fancy silverware in the kitchen so she could begin to polish it for the upcoming faculty dinner in a couple of days, and Tootie was angrily pacing back and forth in the lounge when Natalie came in there to check on her.

"Tootie, what is going on? Ever since you and Mrs. Garrett came back from Mr. Bradley's office this afternoon, you've been so angry."

Unbeknownst to the girls, Mrs. Garrett brought the silverware into the cafeteria from the kitchen in that moment and set it down on one of the tables. Then she grabbed a seat and began polishing, all the while trying not to focus on what Tootie and Natalie were saying.

Tootie finally stopped pacing then and answered, "Mr. Bradley's making me see the school counselor twice a week from now on."

"Well, hopefully it won't be too bad. It's possible she'll be able to help you."

"You don't understand, Natalie. You're missing the point."

"And whatisthe point?"

Tootie locked her eyes with Natalie's a moment later and explained, "The point is, two and a half weeks ago, a man who was like an uncle to me, a man I really believed I could trust, forced me to have sex with him against my will. Now, Mr. Bradley is forcing me to open up to someone I don't even know very well about deeply personal things –also against my will.I don't mind opening up to you or the girls or Mrs. Garrett. We're all close to each other. We're a family. But a person who's practically a stranger to me has gotno rightto see those parts of myself. What's happened to me…what I'm going through…is something that'sprivate, Natalie. And being forced to talk about it with someone I don't know very well just feels like nothing more than another violation."

"I think I understand what you're saying. And for what it's worth, I agree that it should be your choice to go into counseling, not Mr. Bradley's. But I really don't think he's doing it to try to hurt you or make you feel bad. I think he really does want to help."

"I know he wants to help. I know Mrs. Garrett and the girls and my parents and everybody wants to help, and I appreciate it, but theycan'thelp me with this, Natalie. Nobody can."

Natalie walked up closer to Tootie then and locked her gaze with Tootie's and said quietly, "I know. Just like nobody could help me come to terms with what happened to me when I was almost raped last year…except someone who really understood what I'd been through."

"Who are you talking about?"

"My grandmother. After she talked about how she was nearly raped herself by that Cossack in the Ukraine, it kind of opened a door between us. I eventually opened up to her about what I'd gone through, and having somebody like her I could talk to about what had happened to me – someone whounderstoodin a way not even my parents or Mrs. Garrett could understand – really helped."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess it really does help talking to someone who's been through the same thing you have. Anyway, I'd much rather talk to you about what I'm going through than Mrs. Matthews."

"I know. I want to be positive about this. I want to believe that Mrs. Matthews will be helpful to you, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried. My biggest concern is that because she hasn't been through it herself and doesn't understand, she'll say something stupid that'll only make you feel worse. Like when Mrs. Garrett came to talk to me when I kept wanting to hide away in my room, she meant well, but she said thestupidestthings to me that only made things worse. I know that Mrs. Garrett was only trying to help, but she went about it all wrong."

In that moment, Mrs. Garrett couldn't help but want to listen more closely to what Natalie was saying, so she put down the knife she was polishing and paid closer attention, even though sheknewshe shouldn't.

"I was really scared and I was really hurting," Nat continued, "and at that particular time in my life, I just needed a little warmth and understanding and support. I didnotneed to be lectured at about overcoming my fear from someone who hadabsolutely no ideawhat I was going through. Like I said, I know Mrs. Garrett meant well and I know she didn't mean to make me feel worse, but that's what she did. For one thing, she actually had the nerve to compare what I was going throughafter nearly being rapedto her fear of lightning that she had when she was a kid. I understand what she was trying to say; that fear was fear and it had to be overcome, but still, comparingalmost being rapedto some childhood fear of lightning was just stupid and disrespectful to me and everything I was going through.

"And for another thing, when I was going through all of that, I really,reallyfelt like crap. I felt so cheap and so dirty and filthy, and just plainused.It was murder on me inside knowing that that sleazy pervert out there just wanted to use me for sex. What he did to me was disgusting, and it mademefeel disgusting about myself on the inside. And while I was going through that, thelastthing I needed was a lecture and a cheap guilt-trip from Mrs. Garrett. I just needed support from her, nothing else. I didn't need her to lecture me about not hiding in our room. After what I'd just been through,I needed to hide in our room for a while.AndIneeded to be the one to decide when I was ready to face the world again, onmyterms,notMrs. Garrett's. I didn't need that decision to be forced on me by Mrs. Garrett. Icertainlydidn't need her to lay a guilt-trip on me, telling me that I was shirking my responsibilities by not covering that self-defense class for the school paper. I felt crappy enough about myselfalreadyat the time. Guilt-trips like that from Mrs. Garrett were thelastthing I needed to hear.

"And what was worst of all was thatterribleself-defense class! I mean, the guy did do a good job of explaining different things we could do to help ourselves if an attacker should come after us, but the way he talked to me later on…well, it did a whole lot of damage to me inside. The way he got on my case about walking on my own out after dark and taking a shortcut rather than sticking to a well-lighted path…it all made me feel like he was saying thatIwas to blame for what had happened to me. It made me think about things I could do ahead of time to protect myself, sure, but after the class was over and theimpactof what he said andhowhe said it started to set in, I really did feel like what had happened to me was my fault for a while. It was awful. I was already in so much pain inside, and Mrs. Garrett butting in and getting me to go to that class only made things so much worse for me. Most of the time, when Mrs. Garrett butts in and gives us a lecture about something, she's right, and it ends up being what's best for us, but this was one time when she really should've just backed the heck off."

"Yeah, it sounds like it," Tootie said thoughtfully, while Mrs. Garrett had to wipe several stray tears from her eyes.

"But in the end, everything worked out okay, because I was able to talk to Grandma about everything and it made us a lot closer. Because she's been through it too, she always understood what I was going through in ways Mrs. Garrett couldn't. Grandma's always been there for me through this, letting me know that what happened to me was never my fault. And she's always let me know that even though what that creep did to me made me feel pretty disgusting inside, I really was something special, despite what my feelings said."

After a pause, Tootie told Natalie, "You know, what you said about feeling used and dirty inside, knowing that that pervert had wanted to use you for sex? Well that's exactly how I feel right now."

"I know," Natalie said quietly.

"And now, I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. Earl Brown may still be comatose in the ICU of a hospital in Washington, D.C., but I feel like he's always with me somehow, stalking me, just getting ready to jump out from a corner somewhere so he can attack me all over again."

"I know exactly what you mean. That's how I used to feel all the time after I was attacked."

"Do these feelings ever go away, Nat?"

There was a long silence before Natalie finally replied, "I don't want to be a downer, Tootie, but I don't want to lie to you, either. These feelings of fear nevercompletelygo away. They just become dormant for the most part. What my attacker did to me is something that will always be with me. I don't constantly have nightmares about it anymore like I used to. I'm not afraid of getting up in the middle of the night and going to the bathroom like I was for a while. But there are still times when I'm in a dark hallway or I hear strangers walking behind me outside and I get scared. It's just something I've learned to live with.

"As for feeling dirty and used, thankfully, with my grandmother's help,I wasable to get over that and not have it affect my overall self-esteem. And I'll be here for you just like Grandma was for me. Whenever you're feeling like that, I'll be here to remind you that you're beautiful and special. And youarebeautiful and special, you know. I know you don'tfeelthat way right now, but you are."

Tears filled Tootie's eyes in that moment as she said, "Thank you, Natalie. Right now, I think I'll just have to take your word for that."

"Take my word for it, Tootie. I'm telling you the truth," Nat insisted, and Tootie nodded. Then she asked, "I may not be Mrs. Garrett, but would you mind it if I gave you some advice?"

Tootie wiped her eyes then, and she shook her head and answered, "No, I wouldn't mind."

"Make your own decisions about your recovery. Don't let the school counselor or Mrs. Garrett or anybody else try to talk you into something that you don't feel ready for. Mrs. Garrett didn't realize this, but while I was hiding away in our room last year, I was taking some important time for myself that I really needed. I mean, I was hiding away because I was afraid, sure, but there was also something deeper going on. I wasn't just staying locked up in our room because of my fear; I was staying in our room building up my strength inside so that Icouldget out into the world again. If I'd just been given enough time, I would've faced the world again on my own, whenIwas ready,withoutMrs. Garrett pushing me or lecturing me or laying crappy guilt-trips on me. I know Mrs. Garrett means well, but if you need to hide away from the world for a while in order to build up your strength again, do that, anddon'tlet Mrs. Garrett or anybody tell you it's wrong. If Mrs. Garrett tries to lecture you about getting out in the world againbeforeyou truly feel ready to do so, listen, be polite and respectful, but at the end of the day, ignore her. With all due respect to her, this isnotabout what Edna Garrett wants.This is about what Tootie Ramsey needs."

"Thank you, Natalie. I'll remember that."

"And most important of all, remember,what happened to you wasneveryour fault."

"I'll admit that I've kind of felt like it was," Tootie admitted as she fought off more tears. "I mean, I listened in that self-defense class. I paid attention. I always tried to remember everything the instructor taught us last year. But when I came home from the movies a couple of weeks ago and Earl was drunk and yelling at me and throwing things and breaking things, I panicked. I couldn't remember anything from that class. I was so terrified. I couldn't think. I tried to calm him down, but I just couldn't. Then all of the sudden, everything went black, and the next thing I knew, I was lying in a hospital bed and Mom was telling me I'd been raped. I keep thinking that if I'd just paid closer attention in that class or tried harder to remember everything the instructor said–"

"Tootie, it doesn't matter that you got scared and froze up. It doesn't matter that you couldn't remember everything the instructor said in that self-defense class. You said yourself that you tried your best to calm him down. That alone shows an incredible amount of bravery. You were courageous for eventryingto talk to someone who was acting like that. And besides, a person has a right to be able to be safe in her own home. That stinking instructor tried to imply to me that my being attacked was my fault because I was walking home from the costume party alone at night and I took a shortcut. But he never had any right to imply that because the Eastland campus is supposed to be our home, and I had every right to feel safe on the grounds that are supposed to be my home for nine months out of the year. What happened to me wasnotmy fault because I walked alone and took a shortcut;it was my attacker's fault because he believed it was okay to rape another person.And it's the exact same story with you. You should never haveneededto try to remember training from a self-defense course in your own home in the first place. What happened to you wasnotyour fault because you couldn't remember everything from the course. What happened to you wasEarl Brown's faultbecause somewhere in his twisted, perverted, sick, evil mind, he believed it was okay to have sex with another person without her permission, a fourteen-year-old at that."

Again, Tootie teared up as she told Natalie, "Thank you for saying that. That really helps me."

Natalie hugged Tootie, and then she said, "I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it. Whenever you need to hear me say it again, just let me know."

"I will. Thank you. Personally, I think talking to someone like you, someone who's been there, is way more helpful than talking to any school counselor."

"Talking to someone like Grandma who knew what I was going through was certainly more helpful than talking to Mrs. Garrett who didn't have a clue; that's for sure. But then again, maybe there's something to be said for a psych degree. Maybe Mrs. Matthews just might be able to help you. But just remember, if she says something stupid like trying to compare the experience of being violated to a fear of lightning," Nat said as she rolled her eyes, "or if she tries to pull any cheap guilt-trips on you, ignore her. Don't get into an argument with her; that'll only make you feel worse. Just keep your mouth shut, be respectful and polite, and let every word she's saying go in one ear and out the other. If she pulls the same crap on you Mrs. Garrett pulled on me, ignore her."

"Wow. Mrs. Garrett really pissed you off, didn't she?"

"If Mrs. Garrett compared the terror of getting raped by Earl Brown to something as stupid as a fear of lightning, and if she guilt-tripped you into going to a self-defense course where the instructor made you feel like the hell you had gone through wasyour fault, wouldn't it pissyouoff?"

To say that Edna Garrett felt heartbroken and positivelymortifiedin that instant would be an understatement. In that moment, she just wanted to crawl away and die.

Tootie nodded and said, "You're right. It would. Funny. Until now, I never thought it was evenpossiblefor Edna Garrett to give bad advice that would actually have bad consequences."

"It's rare, but itdoeshappen, Tootie. You just have to remember that as wonderful as Mrs. Garrett is, she's not God. Sometimes, even the great Edna Garrett can be wrong about something andnotknow what she's talking about as much as shethinksshe does."

"I never realized you were this mad at her."

"I try not to be. I really do love and respect Mrs. Garrett. I know she's done a whole lot for us and continues to do a whole lot for us on a daily basis. I've always appreciated that. And I really do know that she nevermeantto be disrespectful or hurtful. I know that she was only trying to do what she thought in her mind was best for me. I just don't want to see her making the same hurtful mistakes with you that she made with me."

"Don't worry, Nat. If Mrs. Garrett tries to lecture me and tries to compare the trauma of getting raped to a childhood fear of lightning, or if she tries to lay any unfair guilt-trips on me, I'll just remember what you said."

Natalie patted Tootie on the back then and said, "Good girl."

"I realize we just ate, but I'm in the mood for some comfort food, or to be more precise, a comfort beverage. You want to go into the kitchen and have a cup of hot chocolate with me?"

"I'll do better than that. I'll go into the kitchen with you and fix it for you."

"Thanks, Nat."

"After what you've been through lately, you more than deserve it. Come on."

Mrs. Garrett then quickly-but-quietly tiptoed through the cafeteria into the kitchen, and then she hurried upstairs to her room before Natalie and Tootie could run into her. And when she'd retreated to the privacy of her room, she allowed herself to break down and cry.

At first, her ego was pretty bruised after replaying Natalie's sharp words of criticism in her mind. She'd felt hurt and defensive. But after continuing to digest Natalie's biting criticism over the next couple of hours, the wise, mature adult in Edna took over and she began to realize just how right Natalie was. Maybe Mrs. Garretthaddone a very great deal for Natalie and the girls over the years, but that didn't excuse the way she'd hurt Natalie, even if she'd never meant to hurt her. Mrs. Garrett really had thought at the time that by pushing, even guilt-tripping Natalie into coming out of her shell and going to that self-defense course, she'd been acting in Natalie's best interests. She was now horrified to learn just how very wrong she'd been, and that her advice to one of her girls had actually been so detrimental to her in the long run. As she really,reallystarted thinking about how hard it all must've been on Natalie, being practically forced out into the world again before she was readyandbeing made to feel like she was to blame for being attacked on top of that, Edna became absolutely furious at herself. Thelastthing Edna had meant to do was be insensitive or disrespectful to Natalie during a difficult time, but that wasexactlywhat she'd done, and she realized that now. And she made up her mind that night that shewouldput things right between Natalie and herself again as soon as possible.

So as soon as classes were over the following afternoon, Mrs. Garrett had Natalie meet her upstairs in her room for a discussion. When Natalie walked through the door, Mrs. Garrett was standing over by her desk, and Natalie approached her.

"Hey, Mrs. Garrett. What can I do for you?" Natalie asked pleasantly.

"Natalie, I asked you to come see me this afternoon because I've recently learned that I've made a terrible mistake, and I owe you an apology.A very big apology."

"What are you talking about?"

"I, uh…I was in the kitchen last night polishing the good silverware while you and Tootie were talking in the lounge. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."

The instant Mrs. Garrett said that, there was a long, painful, awkward silence between them.

"I certainly apologize for eavesdropping," Edna finally continued in a deep, serious voice. "I know how wrong that was. It's just that when I started to overhear everything you were saying about me, it was practically impossible not to want to listen. My curiosity got the better of me, I guess.

"But most importantly, I want you to know that I amsosorry for the terrible way I handled things last year when you were attacked. When I heard everything you said about me, it hurt. It hurt me pretty badly, but as Ireallythought about it, I realized how right you were. Itwasdisrespectful of me to try to compare a rape attempt to being afraid of lightning. It was evenmoredisrespectful of me to resort to laying a guilt-trip on you during a time in your life when you were already in so much pain inside. I just want you to know that I am so sorry for everything; especially what happened later on that night at that self-defense class. I never realized that the way that instructor talked to you that night would eventually make you feel like what had happened to you was your fault. But now that I look back on it, I can see it that itwasterribly wrong the way he talked to you."

"You can say that again," Natalie agreed. "The way he talked to me that night…he just made me feel likeIhad done something wrong instead of my attacker. He made me feel like I was being put on the spot and had to defend myself whenIwas the innocent person and the victim. It only rubbed salt into my wounds during a time in my life when I was already vulnerable and in an incredible amount of pain."

Edna locked her eyes with Natalie's and told her once again, "I am so sorry. I thought – I hoped – that going to that class would help you take back some of the control of your life that you'd felt like you'd lost. I had no idea that pushing you into going to that class would have such painful consequences for you, and again, I am deeply sorry.

"I also didn't realize what was going on inside of you at the time. I just wanted so badly to help you put it behind you and move on that I didn't understand what a big mistake it was to push you so hard into getting back out into the world again. It just worried me so much seeing someone as lively and outgoing as you becoming so withdrawn, and I simply wanted to help you get back to your normal self as soon as possible. I didn't understand how important it was to give you time away from the world so you could get your strength back and begin to heal. I understand it all now, and believe me, Natalie, if I had known then what I know now, I would have done things very differently."

"I know you would, Mrs. Garrett," Nat said kindly. "And I won't lie. Deep down, I've been kind of hurt and angry about this whole thing for a long time. It was just so hard to talk about that in the end, I simply wound up burying it. But I appreciate your apology, and I accept it."

"Thank you. You know how much I love you and the girls, Natalie."

"I know."

"And whenever I butt in and give you girls advice and try to nudge you into doing things that you might not want to do, I really am trying to act in your best interests."

"I realize that, and most of the time, what you do for all of usisin our best interests. We all know that, Mrs. Garrett."

"Yes, but like this whole incident has proven, there arealsotimes when I get it wrong. And if and when I do get it wrong again, I don't want you to bury it, Natalie. I want you to tell me if I ever make another mistake that hurts you so I can put it right. Okay?"

Natalie nodded and said, "Okay."

In the following moment, they gave each other a big hug, and then Mrs. Garrett said, "Now that that's settled, I need to ask your advice about something, if you don't mind."

Natalie gave a surprised smile and remarked, "Youneedmyadvice?"

"Yes. Very much so."

"Shoot."

"This entire thing has made me realize that while all my years of living and parenting have given me the tools I need to help you girls through a lot of day-to-day problems, there are some areas where I am simply out of my league. What you and Tootie have gone through with sexual assault is one of them. Even though I've never been through it myself, I honestly believed that I knew how to help you last year. Now I realize that I didn't know what I was doing, even though Ithoughtat the time that I did. I don't want to make that same mistake again. I want to be as helpful to Tootie as I possibly can, but I'm afraid that if Idotry to help her, I might inadvertently make things worse for her like I did for you. So this time around, I'm asking an expert. Based on your experiences, Natalie, what would you say is the best thing I can do now to help Tootie through this?"

After a short pause, Natalie asked, "Do you want me to bereallyhonest, even if it hurts?"

Edna looked into Natalie's eyes again and answered, "Absolutely. Tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, even if it hurts. I think now is one of those times in my life where I could use a little constructive criticism."

"Okay. You know I love you, Mrs. Garrett, and you know I don't mean any disrespect, but since you want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, here it is. The vast majority of the time, you're really wonderful. You're thoughtful and warm and loving and kind and honest, and whenever any of us have a problem, you never hesitate to jump in and try to help us. You have a very big heart.But, therearesome times in our lives, like when I was attacked last year, when you are too quick to lecture us and too slow to support us."

"What do you mean?"

"Last year when I was hiding in our room readingWalden, thelastthing I needed was for you to come in and lecture me. I didnotneed lectures. I neededsupport.I didnotneed you to guilt-trip me or get on my case to do something I wasn't ready to do yet. For a while, what that rapist did to me really took a toll on my self-esteem. I felt so dirty and used, and what I needed from you was simply for you to put your arm around me and tell me that no matter what that creep did to me, I was still something special." A tear came to Edna's eye the moment Natalie told her that, and in the next instant, she quickly wiped it away. "And I needed you to just step back and let me stay in our room and readWaldenfor a while until I felt strong enough to face life again," she continued. "And while I was in our room, taking a rest and regaining my emotional strength, I needed you to encourage me to do what I felt I needed to do for myself, and I needed you to remind me that you were in my corner.

"And that's what you have to do for Tootie now. What I told Tootie last night about making her own decisions about her recovery was extremely important.Tootieneeds to be the one to decide what she's ready to do and when she's ready to do it. That needs to beherdecision,not yours.What she needs from you and from all of us is to be reminded on a regular basis that no matter what Earl Brown did to her, she's still something special. She also needs all of us to frequently remind her that what happened to her was never her fault. In other words, like I just said a moment ago, what Tootie needs issupport, not lectures.And shecertainlydoesn't need any guilt-trips, either. Whatever tools you want to use in your parental arsenal to help Tootie, you have to understand that from this point on until future notice,guilt-trips are off the table.Guilt-trips arenotan option right now."

"Yes, ma'am," Edna said seriously.

"And since you've made it clear that you want the whole truth, I'm going to go ahead and say something that's painfully blunt."

"Be my guest."

"Trying to relate to what Tootie and I have gone through when you haven't been through it yourself – doing things like comparing a rape attempt to a childhood fear of lightning – is just plain stupid. Don't try to relate. Don't try to act like you understand because you don't.You can't.Don't try to tell Tootie how to deal with this. Unless, God forbid, she resorts to something terrible like drugs or alcohol, then don't try to tell her that the way she's coping with this is wrong; she has to find her own way through this. Don't lecture her about anything. Don't give her any advice unlesssheasks for it. The girls and I usually take our lead from you, but this is one time whereyouneed to letTootielead. Remind her that you're here for her. Go out of your way to make her feel like she's something special right now. Remind her that what happened to her wasn't her fault. Tell her how much you love her. Give her all the support you can…and then back off."

"Yes, ma'am," Mrs. Garrett said again in a whisper, and then Natalie gave an understanding nod.

After another couple of moments of silence, Natalie turned around and started walking out of Mrs. Garrett's room.

"Oh, Natalie?" she called after her, and Natalie stopped. Then Mrs. Garrett walked up to Natalie and faced her, and then she put her hands on her shoulders and told her, "I amsosorry I didn't say this to you when you needed to hear it, but I'm saying it now. You are now, you always have been, and you always will be somethingremarkablyspecial. What that monster did to you wasneveryour fault, and I am so very sorry that that instructor made you feel like it was. And I am always,alwaysin your corner."

Natalie had to fight off some tears of her own then as she reached out and gave Mrs. Garrett another hug. After Edna kissed her cheek, Natalie said, "Thank you, Mrs. Garrett. I really appreciate you saying that."

Once the embrace ended, Mrs. Garrett said, "It's true. And the next time you need support from me and you need me to tell you those things, please,pleaselet me know."

"I will," said Natalie.

"Oh, and Natalie?" Mrs. Garrett called after her just as she put her hand on the doorknob.

Natalie turned and said, "Yes?"

"Thanks for the advice."

Nat smiled and told her, "You're welcome." Mrs. Garrett returned the smile, and then Natalie walked out the door.

Over the course of the next three weeks, Mrs. Garrett followed Natalie's advice to the letter. Like Natalie, Tootie was now also reluctant to get out and go places, and more than anything else, she just simply wanted to stay in the girls' room listening to her records. And this time, Mrs. Garrett knew not to push her. It was hard for her to see Tootie so withdrawn, but she knew now that Tootieneededto withdraw from the world for a while, and she was respectful of that. This time, thankfully, she was quick to support and slow to lecture. She was always there to give Tootie a listening ear or a hug or a shoulder to cry on whenever she needed it, and she let Tootie know over and over and over again that she was something special and that what had happened to her wasnother fault.

Back during Tootie's first year at Eastland, she'd been the youngest girl in the dorm where Mrs. Garrett worked as housemother, and because she was the youngest, she was often the most sensitive, and she'd needed a little more one-on-one attention from Mrs. Garrett than the others. So whenever she had questions about things or something worried her or frightened her and she felt she couldn't talk about it with Natalie or the other girls, she'd wait until they all fell asleep and then she'd go into Mrs. Garrett's room and talk with her until she felt better. When Tootie and the girls got into trouble a couple of years ago and Tootie ended up moving out of the dorm and across the hall from Mrs. Garrett, they continued their talks. Sometimes, some of their discussions went on for hours and hours, but even though Mrs. Garrett missed a good night's sleep every now and then, she never complained, and she genuinely enjoyed being there for Tootie. And ever since Tootie returned to Eastland for the new school year, she and Mrs. Garrett were having their late-night talks far more frequently, but again, Mrs. Garrett never complained about the lack of sleep and she couldn't possibly have been more supportive. When Tootie knocked on Mrs. Garrett's door late one night, she welcomed Tootie into her room once again. However, she honestly wasn't expecting the bombshell Tootie delivered.

When Mrs. Garrett heard a knock at her door at twenty past eleven that night, she called, "Come in."

Tootie opened the door and walked in, and Mrs. Garrett greeted her with her usual warm smile. Even though it was a little late, Mrs. Garrett had decided to stay up for a while that night anyway just in case Tootie decided to pay her a visit. When Tootie came in, Mrs. Garrett's light was still on and her bed was still made, and Mrs. Garrett was sitting on the side of her bed, still in her day clothes.

"Hi, Mrs. Garrett," Tootie said softly.

"Hello, dear. Come. Have a seat," she told her as she patted the bed beside her, and then Tootie came over and sat down next to her. "What's on your mind tonight?"

"I'm wondering when this nightmare will ever end."

"Oh, but you've been doing so well. On Saturday night, you and the girls went to out to the football game over at Bates. Then yesterday morning, you let me take you out to breakfast. You've been making wonderful progress."

"And I really appreciate you taking me to breakfast yesterday, by the way. I was pretty scared, but I still managed to have somewhat of a good time in spite of my fear."

"Oh, it was my pleasure. I just want to do everything I possibly can to help you through this."

"And youhavebeen helping me through this. I'll never forget about a week after I first came back to school when I suddenly discovered that big bouquet of pink and yellow roses on the top bunk, and that sweet card from you explaining what pink roses and yellow roses stood for. I always knew that yellow roses were for friendship, but I didn't know that pink roses stood for admiration. And when I read everything you said about how the bouquet was your way of telling me that you would always be my friend and that you admired me, that helped me so much. You gave me quite a boost that day."

Edna locked her eyes with Tootie's then and said, "I'm so glad. But what is it that's got you so upset now?"

"It's been over five weeks since it happened, Mrs. Garrett. I don't know. I was kind of hoping I'd be a little more over it by now. But even though I'm doing the best I can with my classes and my work in the cafeteria, and even though I keep trying to move on with my life, I'm still shaking inside." Saying nothing, Mrs. Garrett responded simply by stroking her cheek. "I amsotired of that feeling," Tootie continued. "I just want everything to go back to the way it was five and a half weeks ago. I want to be able to step outside and not feel terrified that someone's going to attack me. I want to stop having nightmares. I want to stop having my memories of Earl Brown constantly invading my thoughts.I want my life back, Mrs. Garrett."

Mrs. Garrett pulled Tootie into her arms then and kissed the top of her head, and as she started rocking her, she told her, "I know, sweetheart. I know. And I know that it's a slow process and that it gets frustrating, but youaretaking your life back, Tootie. I wish I could help you get it all back all at once, but it doesn't work that way after such a traumatic experience. I know I've never been through anything close to what you have over these past few weeks, and I won't try to pretend to understand what it's been like for you because there's no way that I can. But if you don't mind my sharing my opinion, I personally believe that emotionally recovering from something like this is a journey that's made up of baby steps. I know the long road ahead can get frustrating, but every step you take to conquer your fears, no matter how small it may seem, is incredibly courageous and matters so much. Going out to that football game and coming to breakfast with me were very gutsy steps that you took towards reclaiming your life. Even doing something as simple as helping the girls take out the garbage like you did last night, when you're clearly afraid to go outside, is an important baby step. And I know it doesn'tfeellike you're doing great right now, but believe me, you are. You're doing an incredible job, and I couldn't be prouder of you."

Tootie looked up into Mrs. Garrett's eyes and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Garrett. I know you've told me about a thousand times before how great I was doing, but I think I needed to hear it again."

"You aredoing great, Tootie. Just try to remember to be patient with yourself."

"That's what Mrs. Matthews told me today, too. You know, I was pretty angry with Mr. Bradley for making me go into counseling at first. Now, I'm actually glad he was so pushy about it. During my first session with her, I was so angry about having to open up to someone I barely knew, and I let her know it. But she's always been very respectful. She's never tried to make me talk about anything I wasn't ready to talk about, and she's given me a chance to get to know her first before getting into really personal things with me. She's a lot easier to talk to than I thought she'd be."

"I'm very happy to hear that."

"But there are some things I know I can never talk about with her, or with my parents or the girls. I can't even talk about this with Natalie right now."

"Talk about what, sweetheart?" Mrs. Garrett asked gently.

Tootie let out a sigh in that moment, and then she got up and started pacing nervously. Mrs. Garrett waited patiently for her to pace some of her tension out of her system, and when she was ready to talk again, she stood still and looked Mrs. Garrett in the eye. Then she finally answered, "I have this really, really,reallyhuge fear sitting in the back of my brain. And when I say fear, I don't mean your typical average phobia like a fear of heights or a fear of the dark. I'm talking worst nightmare type scenario. I'm talking about something that's even worse than what I've already been through."

"What could be worse than that?" Mrs. Garrett questioned, her eyes still locked with Tootie's.

After a long pause, Tootie replied, "Teenage pregnancy."

Mrs. Garrett's face fell, and to put it mildly, she was shocked and deeply worried by what Tootie just said. She slowly rose from her seat, and then she approached Tootie and put her hand on her shoulder. "Tootie, are you trying to tell me that…you think you might be pregnant?"

Tootie shook her head and responded, "As of right now, I don't think so. I think I'm just overreacting and jumping the gun. But no matter how hard I try to look at this logically and not buy into all the crazy fears in the back of my head, I just can't keep my mind off them, and I keep imagining the worst."

"And why are you having these 'crazy fears'? What's going on that makes you think you might possibly be pregnant?"

After a short, silent moment, Tootie told her, "I should have gotten my period two weeks ago, but it never came. And my periods are always regular; they always come every twenty-eight or twenty-nine days like clockwork. I know a lot of women and girls have irregular periods sometimes, but not me. Ever since I entered puberty, I've never missed a single one…until now."

"Have you had any other unusual symptoms?"

"No."

"Well, I understand your concern, Tootie, but a missed period doesn't always mean pregnancy. Sometimes stress can affect your cycles, and it's quite obvious that you have been under terrible emotional stress over these past few weeks. Sometimes a person's emotional state can have a physical effect on her body."

"That's what I keep trying to tell myself. I actually decided that I wasn't going to say anything about it to anyone, not even you, unless I missed another period. But I'm just so scared. I try to put it in the back of my mind and not think about it, but the fears and the questions are always there, gnawing away at me. Questions like, 'What'll I tell my parents?' and 'How will they react?' and 'Will they be there for me if I am pregnant?' and 'Will I have to leave Eastland?' And of course, there's the biggie: 'How in the world will I be able to take care of a baby at fourteen?'"

"Now let's try not to get ahead of ourselves. I don't want you to keep imagining the worst case scenario and worrying yourself sick. But then again, I don't want you to avoid this, either. Let's give this a little more time and see if any more symptoms come up or if you miss another period. If, God forbid, that should happen, then we'll call your parents and take you to see a doctor."

"Okay, Mrs. Garrett," Tootie said quietly. "And I know you're right. I know it's a bit soon to be worrying about the worst case scenario, but I just can't help it. I need to know that even if the worstistrue and I am pregnant, my baby and I are going to be okay somehow; that either my parents will be understanding and give me the help and support I'll need to take care of it, or that my baby will go to a loving family. I need to know that if I am pregnant and push comes to shove, Mr. Bradley isn't going to make me leave Eastland, because if I'm going to be having a baby, I'm going to need you and the girls now more than ever."

"Oh, sweetheart," Edna whispered, and then she gave Tootie the longest hug. With her arms still wrapped around her, Edna said, "I know that life has been more painful and frightening for you over these past few weeks than it ever has been before. I know you've been through something I can't even imagine. And I know the world is a very scary place for you right now and it's hard not to think of things like this and be afraid. I truly wish I could look you in the eye and promise you with absolute certainty that you're not pregnant and that you're worrying for nothing, but I can't.

"But what Icanpromise you is that if the worst case scenario turns out to be true, I will do everything within my power to help you through it. I'm sure your parents will be supportive, but if they're not, then I'll talk to them, and I'll also talk to Mr. Bradley and do my best to make sure you're allowed to stay here with us where you belong."

"Thank you," Tootie said as she started to tear up, and Mrs. Garrett kissed the top of her head once again.

"Like I've been saying, I know it's hard not to think the worst, but try not to. Let's just take this one day at a time. One step at a time."

"Okay," Tootie sighed, and then their long embrace finally ended. After a short quiet moment, Tootie then asked, "Can I stay here with you for a while, Mrs. Garrett? I don't want to talk about anything else right now. I just don't want to be by myself in my bed, thinking and worrying and tossing and turning."

"I understand, love. Of course you can stay here with me for as long as you want. We don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to. We can just sit together."

"Thanks," Tootie whispered.

After Tootie and Mrs. Garrett went back over to the bed and sat down together, Mrs. Garrett put her arms around Tootie yet again, and once more, she started to rock her.

Chapter 3: The Compromise

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: The Compromise

Over the next few weeks, Mrs. Garrett kept a close eye on Tootie and often asked her how she was doing, both physically and emotionally, and they also continued their frequent nighttime conversations. As usual, Tootie was very forthcoming about what she was going through emotionally, but she kept her physical symptoms to herself because she really wasn't ready to discuss the deeply frightening possibility of pregnancy yet. She never mentioned her fears of being pregnant to Mrs. Garrett again after she'd first discussed it with her that one night a few weeks back. However, during that time, more symptoms came up besides just missing her period. She did become increasingly nauseous and she vomited a couple of times, and her appetite increased despite how queasy and anxious she always felt. Nobody said anything to Tootie about it, but everyone did notice that she'd recently gained a couple of pounds and did look a little thicker around the middle. And again, because she hadn't been ready to really talk about it out in the open yet, whenever Mrs. Garrett asked her about how she was feeling physically, Tootie insisted many times that all was well.

But when she missed a second period that was due over a week ago, that's when she knew something was definitely up and she couldn't put off dealing with the situation any longer. As hard as it was, one Monday afternoon after classes were over and Mrs. G. and the girls were out at the market, Tootie summoned up her courage and went into the lounge and called her parents at work.

When her mother's personal secretary answered, Tootie asked to speak with her mom but the she wouldn't let her because according to her, her mother was in a "very" important meeting with a judge. Tootie tried to stand her ground and insist that it was extremely important that she talk to her mother, but the secretary just dismissed her and treated her like she was a silly, troublesome two-year-old. After arguing with the secretary for the next couple of minutes, finally, the secretary put Tootie on hold and went into her father's office to talk to him about it, and Harrison took the call.

"Hi, sweetheart," he said to her with unusual tenderness. Ever since Tootie was attacked, the tough, hardcore lawyer had begun to show a kind of sensitivity and gentleness towards her that he hadn't shown since she was a little girl.

"Hi, Dad," she quietly replied. "Look, Dad, I'm not trying to cause trouble, but something's come up and I really,reallyneed to talk to Mom now. I know she's in an important meeting, but this is even more important. I'm not exaggerating."

"I know Samantha doesn't exactly have a likeable disposition," he sighed. "If it were up to me, I wouldn't put up with her, but I guess because she's so efficient at her job, your mother tolerates her."

"If I could have waited until you guys got home to call, then I would have. But I really need to have a private conversation with Mom, and with you, too, without anybody else overhearing. Mrs. Garrett and the girls are out now, so I don't have to worry about any of them overhearing anything or coming into the lounge and interrupting."

"Tootie, baby, what is it? What's the matter?" he asked, his voice deep with worry – which again was unusual for him. Being the no-nonsense attorney that he was, he did not lose his composure or get emotional very easily.

After a long pause, Tootie let out a sigh and told him, "It has to do with that night. Dad, I…I think I've got a problem."

"What kind of problem?"

After another pause, Tootie finally answered, "I think I might be pregnant."

The next several moments were nothing but stunned silence. But then Harrison said at last, "Oh, Tootie. Oh, my sweet girl."

"I don't mean to embarrass you by going into female stuff, but I've missed two periods now. And I'm getting nauseous more and more often, but in spite of the queasiness, I'm hungry all the time and I've gained a little weight."

There was more silence on the other end for a few seconds, and then Harrison said, "Tootie, hang on. Just stay on the line. Stay right where you are. I'm going to get your mom. I'll be right back."

"Okay."

During the next minute, Harrison barged into his wife's office next door and put an abrupt end to her meeting with the judge. After curtly sending the judge on his way, he explained everything to Diane, and then they both rushed back into Harrison's office and Diane picked up the phone.

For about another five minutes, Tootie repeated everything to her mother, explaining the whole situation to her. And for someone who was ordinarily as talkative as her daughter, Diane remained surprisingly quiet for several moments after Tootie had finished speaking.

But finally, Diane took a deep breath and responded, "Okay. Tootie, baby, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay. I'll call my gynecologist here in D.C. and schedule an appointment for you, and then your father and I will book you on a flight. We'll call you back once we've called Dr. Billings and our travel agent and let you know the details."

"Okay, Mom."

"Don't worry. Your daddy and I are going to take care of everything."

"Okay," Tootie said quietly. Then after a little small talk, both parents said goodbye and they hung up.

After Mrs. Garrett and the girls returned from town and they all took care of supper and ate and finished cleaning up that evening, Tootie asked to see Mrs. Garrett in the lounge to speak to her privately.

"Mrs. Garrett, I need to ask a favor."

"Of course," she said kindly.

"Well, it's really a personal kind of favor. Well, actually, I should back up a second and explain. You know how you've been asking me over these past few weeks how I've been feeling physically and how I've told you that I was fine?"

"Yes."

"I was lying. I was just so freaked out by what's been happening to me lately that I didn't want to talk about it."

"Tootie, what's been going on?" she asked in a soft but worried tone.

"I've gotten sick at my stomach a couple of times and I'm always nauseous, but yet I'm getting hungry a lot more often, too. And, I missed another period."

Mrs. Garrett lovingly put her hand on Tootie's upper arm. "Oh, Tootie," she gasped.

"I knew I couldn't avoid it any longer, so I called my parents today while you guys were out at the market."

"Good. I'm glad you told them."

"Mom wants me to see her gynecologist, Dr. Billings, so she called her travel agent and booked me on a flight home. My flight's at nine o'clock tomorrow morning, and my appointment to see Dr. Billings is at eleven o'clock the day after tomorrow."

"I'm glad you're going to see a doctor, and I'm also glad that you'll have your parents there with you. I'll pack some things for you tonight."

"I appreciate it, Mrs. Garrett, but I can pack my things myself. What I really need is for you to be there with me. I know I'll have Mom and Dad, but you're just as much my family as they are, and I'll need you to be there with me too, especially if the doctor tells me I'm…" Tootie allowed the sentence to trail.

Mrs. Garrett responded with an understanding nod, and then she said, "I understand. I'll call Mr. Bradley and see if I can get a little time off."

Tootie put her arms around Edna then and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Garrett."

"You're more than welcome, Tootie," said Edna, who was fervently returning the hug. "I told you I would do everything I could to help you through this, and I meant it. I will."

"And I know now that my parents will, too. When I talked to my mom, she told me that she and Dad would take care of everything, so I know that even if I am pregnant, they'll help me learn how to take care of the baby. I'm pretty terrified right now, but it makes it a lot less scarier knowing that if I am pregnant, they'll help me. It's nice to know I'm not alone."

The embrace ended then, and Mrs. Garrett smiled and kissed Tootie on the forehead. She didn't say anything at the moment, but in the back of her mind, those words really worried Mrs. Garrett:she told me that she and Dad would take care of everything.Diane Ramseycouldhave meant that she and her husband would stand by Tootie and help her with the baby, but a seasoned adult like Ednaalsoknew that the phrase "take care of everything" could have been referring to something far more sinister, like trying to force an abortion on Tootie that Tootieclearlydidn't want. Edna could see it that the word "abortion" had never even once entered her sweet, innocent little Tootie's mind. But she had no doubt that ithadentered Diane Ramsey's. Edna certainly didn'twantTootie to be having a baby at age fourteen, but at the same time, she knew that trying force something as traumatic as an abortion on Tootie wasnotthe answer.

They talked a little while, and then after Tootie went upstairs, Mrs. Garrett called Mr. Bradley and asked for some personal time off. After Mr. Bradley granted her request, she called the Ramseys and spoke to them for about half an hour, and she let them know that Tootie had asked her to accompany her back home. They invited her to stay with them during her time in D.C., and after accepting their invitation, they said goodbye, and then Mrs. Garrett called and reserved a seat on Tootie's flight tomorrow morning.

That Wednesday, when Tootie was called back into one of the doctor's exam rooms, she clung to Mrs. Garrett's arm and her knees were shaking. After Dr. Billings finally walked into the cold, sterile-looking white room, Tootie sat down on the exam table, and Diane made all the proper introductions.

"Dr. Anita Billings, I'd like to introduce you to Tootie's friend and school nutritionist, Mrs. Edna Garrett."

"Hello," Mrs. Garrett said pleasantly as she shook hands with the tall, elegant, beautiful black lady in front of her.

"How do you do?" she responded.

"And of course, you know my husband Harrison and our daughter Tootie."

"Certainly," she said as she approached Tootie on the exam table. After shaking hands with Harrison, she said, "Tootie, your mother tells me that you've been nauseous lately, and that you've had an increased appetite."

"Uh huh," Tootie said nervously.

"And she also says that you've missed two periods now since you've been assaulted. Is that correct?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'm going to run some tests on your urine, and I'm going to need to draw a little blood as well."

"Great," Tootie said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes, and Dr. Billings chuckled a bit.

"I know. Getting your blood drawn at the doctor's office isn't exactly a fun way to spend the day, but it'll be over before you know it."

Unfortunately for Tootie, though, itwasn'tover before she knew it because Dr. Billings was really backed up that day, and it was quite a while before she finally returned to the exam room with the test results.

After Tootie grabbed both Mrs. Garrett's hand and Diane's, Dr. Billings told her, "Tootie, going by the date of the assault, I can tell you with certainty that you are now nine weeks pregnant."

In that instant, the wind went out of all of them. Tootie, Mrs. Garrett, Diane, and Harrison all felt like an invisible foot had just kicked them all in the gut. Mrs. Garrett was the first to regain her composure as she started rubbing Tootie's back to try and reassure her. And while her parents continued to stand there in silent shock, Tootie asked in a tiny voice, "What do I do now?"

"I'll tell you what we're going to do, Tootie. We are scheduling an abortion," Diane announced.

"What?!" Tootie cried out, horrified.

"Dr. Billings, when's the earliest that you can perform the procedure?" Diane asked.

"Now wait a minute, Diane. Hold on a second," said Harrison.

"Mom, I don't want an abortion!"

"Tootie, you are too young to understand what's best for you. That's why it's mine and your father's job to step in during times like these and make these kinds of decisions."

"Mom, you're not making any sense! You and Dad are Christians and you raised me in the Christian faith. You and Dad are the ones who always said that life begins at conception and only God has the right to give or take a life. You and Dad are the ones who took me to a church with a pro-life pastor all my life and sat next to me Sunday after Sunday in the pew yelling 'Amen!' whenever he ranted about how evil abortion was. What happened to all of that? How can you be so hypocritical now?"

"Don't youeverspeak to me like that, young lady!" Diane cried out furiously.

"In other words, don't speak the truth about how you're acting?" Tootie said, and then she angrily stomped out of the room in disgust and slammed the door behind her.

"Alright, now let's all take a deep breath and try to calm down," said Mrs. Garrett a moment later. "Getting all worked-up and angry and getting into arguments isn't going to do any good, and it isn't going to help Tootie. Mrs. Ramsey, I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now, but for Tootie's sake, we all have to at leasttryto be calm and clear-headed."

"Mrs. Garrett's right," Dr. Billings agreed. "Diane, weallwant what's best for Tootie, but abortion isn't necessarily the right option."

"What are you saying? That it's 'best' for a little fourteen-year-old girl to give birthto her rapist's child?!" Diane yelled.

"I don't like it any more than you do, Diane," Harrison told her. "But Tootiewasright.We'rethe ones who raised her with Christian principles.We'rethe ones who always taught her that abortion was wrong and that only God has the right to giveor to takelife. It's a little late in the game for us to be changing our tune now."

"In most situations, I would agree that abortion is a terrible, evil thing, but this is different, Harrison. Can't you see that? Tootiecannotbe a mother at fourteen. And I will not allow my baby girl to go through the emotional and physical trauma of carrying and giving birth to her rapist's child whensheis nothing but a child herself! Tootie has been through enough! I will not allow her to go through anything else! I will not allow her to throw her whole future, her wholelifeunder the bus because of some child rapist!" Diane shouted as silent, angry tears streamed down her cheeks.

"That won't happen, Diane. Tootie's life willnotget thrown under the bus. Not if we help her. Not ifweare there for Tootie and her baby. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but as long as we stand behind Tootie and help her with the baby, then we'll be able to make certain that she finishes high school and college."

"You are out of your mind!" screamed Diane.

Although Edna was a Christian herself and identified much more with Harrison's position than with Diane's, as a mother, she understood why Diane felt the way she did; she was truly heartbroken for the couple, and even more so for their daughter. But as Mrs. Garrett tried to defuse the situation, she did her best to stay neutral.

"Mrs. Ramsey, Mr. Ramsey, why don't the four of us just go back to your home and let you and Tootie digest this for a while, huh?" she suggested. "No decisions have to be made right at this very minute. Let's just give all of you a chance to calm down."

"I think that's a very good idea, Mrs. Garrett," Dr. Billings agreed. "I'll give you guys the number of a family counseling center. They can sit down with all of you and discuss your options with you and with Tootie."

"I can't believe this. I cannotbelievethat we are evenconsideringthat a child Tootie's age –a child– should go through with this kind of pregnancy!" Diane yelled once again, and then like her daughter, she furiously stomped out of the room.

After the foursome drove home in bitter silence and Mrs. Garrett followed Tootie upstairs to her room, unfortunately, her parents didnottake Mrs. Garrett's advice about taking time to calm down. Hardly any time passed at all until Harrison and Diane had begun a painful round of verbal combat which was so loud, it was impossible for Tootie and Mrs. Garrettnotto overhear it, even if they didn't want to.

"Honestly, Harrison! What kind of father are you?!" Diane raged at him. "What kind of father lets his daughter go through a pregnancy and give birth to her rapist's child at age fourteen?!"

"I might askyouthe same question! What kind of mother raises her child with one set of values, and then flip-flops the veryinstanther beliefs are truly tested?! What kind of example do you thinkthatis setting for our daughter?! It's supposed to beparentswho set the example for their children, but in this case, it's reversed. It'sTootiewho's showing courage and conviction; it'sTootiewho's being strong enough to stand by her beliefs when they're put to the test!You'renot being the example forTootie; she'sbeing the example foryou.I hate to say it, Diane, but when Tootie said earlier today that you were being a hypocrite, she was absolutely right!"

"Fine! If doing what is best for my daughter makes me a hypocrite, then I willproudlybe called a hypocrite!"

"What in the world makes you so certain that an abortion isreallywhat's best for our daughter?! Have you takenanytime at all to listen to whatshehas to say about this? Do you have theslightestidea how she feels about this and why? No, because you haven't really talked to her."

"Of course I know how she feels! She wants to have the baby! She made that clear at the doctor's office. Tootie's just a child, and she's looking at this from a child's perspective. She thinks babies are like puppies. She thinks they're all cute and cuddly and adorable, like living baby dolls. She doesn't have any clue what it means to be responsible for an infant. She hasn't got any idea what is involved in raising a child. She doesn't have the ability to provide for a child financially and she doesn't have the psychological maturity to take care of a child. And these are burdens she shouldneverhave to take on in the first place!"

"I know that Tootie's just a child. I know that Tootie is too young to try to be a parent on her own. But she'snoton her own. She has us. We can help her through this every step of the way. We can teach her how to be a parent. We can provide for Tootie and her baby financially until Tootie's able to do it herself."

"Will youpleaseexplain to mewhy in the worldwe or Tootie should ever have to doanythingfor Earl Brown's baby?!"

"It's not just Earl Brown's baby, Diane! It's Tootie's baby, too! Whether we like it or not, thisisour grandchild we're talking about. We have a responsibility to love it for Tootie's sake."

"Responsibility to love it?!I can't believe my ears! I have aresponsibilityto love that rapist's baby?! You must be out of your mind! I willneverlove this baby!I hate this baby!I willalwayshate this baby because its very presence alone is hurting my daughter!"

"Why won't they stop?!" Tootie cried out as she covered both ears, jumped onto her bed, and started to cry.

Mrs. Garrett walked over to the queen-sized bed, sat down beside Tootie on the colorful, flowery bedspread, and gently rubbed her back as she sobbed. Tootie's room perfectly resembled springtime – and her spirit – with its mint-green carpet and sky-blue walls that were filled with cute stickers and pictures of her family, but today her spring-like room was the exact opposite of the frigid winter that was taking place in her heart. Even though it wasn't true, to Tootie, it certainlyfeltlike her whole life was over.

"That's right, sweetheart. Just cry it all out."

Tootie turned over on her back a few minutes later and complained, "I'm going through enough without having to listen to them fight. The last thing I need is to have to listen to a shouting match between them right now. Why can't they understand that? Why can't they be at least alittlemore sensitive?"

"Oh, Tootie," Edna sighed. "Sometimes, people are in so much pain that they can't help but get lost in their own emotions. And when that happens, they just can't see the things thatshouldbe obvious to them."

"Well I'm in more pain than anyone right now.I'mthe one this is happening to, not my parents. Why can't they respect that? Why can't they understand that thelastthing I need after hearing news like this is to have to listen to them yell and argue? Why can't Mom understand that the last thing I need is for her to treat me like I'm stupid? That really steams me, the way she insulted my intelligence like that. She honestly believes that just because I'm young, I'm some kind of idiot who believes that babies are puppies.Can you believe she said that about me?And then worst of all, she announces it loudly enough for us and probably the whole rest of the neighborhood to hear that she hates my baby. How could she be so cruel?" Tootie asked as silent tears streamed down her face.

Mrs. Garrett had to fight to keep from crying herself then as she reached for a tissue off Tootie's nightstand and dried her eyes.

"Oh honey, you're absolutely right that the way both she and your father are acting right now is horribly insensitive. And you're equally right that the things your mother has said today were unfair to you and downright cruel. What she said about hating your baby was inexcusable. Thatwasa very mean and cruel thing for her to say. I'm not at all trying to justify the terrible things your mother has said, but sometimes when people are terribly frightened and hurt and angry, they lash out at the people closest to them and they say cruel, horrible things that they don't really mean. Often in times like these, people are in so much pain and turmoil inside that they don't know what they're really saying or how it's impacting those they love the most. They don't reallythinkthe way they should because they're so caught up in the moment."

"Yeah, I guess," Tootie sighed. "I just wish they'd remember that you and I are here now, too."

"I know," Mrs. Garrett said kindly.

After a long, silent moment, Tootie admitted, "I've never been more scared in my life, Mrs. Garrett. I'm not a stupid idiot like Mom thinks I am. I know babies aren't puppies. And I know I'm just a kid. I know that I'm not capable of caring for an infant and doing the things I need to do myself, like finishing high school and college. But I can't get an abortion. I can't do something that cruel to my baby. I'm not that selfish!"

"I know you're not selfish, Tootie, and I know you're not stupid. I know you understand what a serious situation this is. I know that your mother is underestimating your intelligence – underestimatingyou– and that really makes me sad. And I agree that abortion is a very cruel thing, both to the baby and to the mother, and I don't believe it's something you should feel intimidated by others into doing. But even though it's hard, please, try to remember that your motherdoesmean well. She's only reacting like this because she's so worried about you and because she honestly wants to do whatshebelieves inhermind is best for you."

"Yeah, but it really hurts the way that she just doesn't think that whatIthink or howIfeel about this means anything. It's just perfectly okay to brush my thoughts and feelings aside just because I'm young. Whendomy feelings get to matter, anyway? When I turn twenty-one?"

"Tootie, your feelingsdomatter. They matter right now, and they have always mattered, just as much as anybody else's, including your parents."

"Try gettingMomto understand that."

"Like I said, I know your parents haven't been as sensitive as they should have been today, and I know your mother in particular said some things that have really caused you a lot of pain, but try to be understanding, even though it's difficult now. Your mother and your father aren't themselves right now, Tootie. I know things shouldn't be this way with your parents, but try to be patient with them and give them a chance to calm down. Hopefully, once they've both cooled off a little," Edna said as the angry voices continued on in the background, "you'll be able to sit down with them and really talk to them about this the way you all need to."

"I have a bad feeling that won't happen until hell freezes over," Tootie said ominously. "When will this nightmare ever end, Mrs. Garrett?"

"Tootie," Mrs. Garrett said softly, and then Tootie leaned forward into her arms and Mrs. Garrett rocked her.

Later that evening, the Ramseys did eventually cool off enough to be able to have a (somewhat) calm conversation with Tootie, but because Tootie herself was still so hurt and angry at Diane for the cruel things she'd heard her say, she kept her part of the discussion as brief as possible. Even though Mrs. Garrett tried to encourage Tootie to keep talking to her parents, she simply wasn't in the mood and she was exhausted on top of that, so she said a curt "Goodnight" to them and turned in early.

Mrs. Garrett stayed with the Ramseys for the rest of the week and booked a flight back to New York scheduled that Sunday afternoon. Throughout the rest of the week, more discussions – a.k.a. arguments – ensued, and a verbal and emotional war began in earnest in the Ramsey family. Battle lines were drawn. It didn't take long for it to turn into a bitterly painful conflict in which Tootie and her father had joined forces against Diane, who dug in her heels and kept insisting that she wanted Tootie to get an abortion. It was indeed an awkward situation for Mrs. Garrett to be in and under normal circ*mstances, she'd never want to be where she was right in the middle of such deeply personal family problems. However, this time, she actually was glad she was there to give Tootie the emotional support she needed. While she was there, Edna never butted in during a family discussion – or fight – but thankfully for Tootie, she was there for her whenever she wanted to talk to her at night after her parents had gone to sleep.

During those painful few days, Tootie kept insisting that she wanted to return to Eastland when Mrs. Garrett did. At first Diane kept saying that she couldn't allow her to go back until she agreed to let her call Dr. Billings and schedule an abortion; that Tootie could hardly return to Eastland as a pregnant student, and that in turn only sparked more long, drawn-out, excruciating fights amongst all three of them. It wasn't until that Saturday night that Harrison and Diane finally managed to call a ceasefire between each other and come to a consensus.

Harrison and Diane called Tootie and Mrs. Garrett into the family study that Saturday night for a talk. Harrison was sitting in his big, comfortable desk chair behind his huge oak desk, in the room surrounded by bookcases overflowing with law books. Diane stood stiffly beside him, and Tootie and Mrs. Garrett took a seat in the two chairs across from the desk.

"Thank you for joining us, Mrs. Garrett," Harrison told her.

"Of course," she kindly responded.

"On behalf of my wife and myself, I want to thank you. During these past three years, you have constantly been there for our daughter. We realize that you've done a great deal for her. We especially appreciate all of your support now, during this difficult time. I realize our home hasn't exactly been an enjoyable environment for you these past few days."

"Well in the first place, being there for Tootie is hardly a sacrifice. I love her dearly," Edna said sincerely as she reached out and took Tootie's hand in her own, and Tootie responded with a smile.

"As do we all," Harrison agreed, and then he gave his daughter a loving smile.

"And in the second place, I want to say that I understand completely. What your family has been through these past several weeks would try the patience of a saint. I never came here expecting fun or a vacation. I knew this wasn't going to be easy for anyone."

"It certainly hasn't been," Diane concurred.

"As I know you're well aware, some terribly important decisions must be made by our family. Tootie, your mother and I know how you feel about wanting to continue the pregnancy. We also know you want to return to Eastland as soon as possible."

"That's right," Tootie said quietly while her hands rested on her lower abdomen. Silent anger began to wash over her then as she instinctively realized that her parents had made a decision about her and her baby; thatboththeir fates had been decidedwithoutconsulting her at all!

"Tootie, you're also aware of your mother's and my perspectives. Diane has made her position crystal clear. She doesn't believe it's wise for you to go through with the pregnancy. You also know how I feel. I personally believe that if you want to keep the baby, you should be allowed to do so as long as you have the help and support you need. We've done a lot of talking and soul-searching, and your mother and I have done what lawyers do best: we've reached a compromise that both sides can live with."

And what aboutmyside?Tootie silently asked herself.

"Tootie, if you want to go ahead with this insane idea of having a baby at age fourteen," Diane said icily, "I won't try and stop you. But I won't stand for this baby ruining your high school and college career. I won't allow your entire life to be destroyed because of what that piece of excrement did to you a couple of months ago. If you want to bring Earl Brown's baby into the world, that's your business. But you should know that if you do, you arenotkeeping it. As soon as it's born, you are going to give it to some couple out there that's emotionally and financially capable of caring for a baby, and you are going to go right back to being a teenager. You are going to stay a kid like you should. As soon as this is over, you are going to resume your life and you are going to move on. Is that understood?"

"Yeah, Mom, it's understood," Tootie responded with a bit of sarcasm as she folded her arms across her chest. At the same time, Mrs. Garrett tried very hard not to show it how horrified she felt inside at the harsh words Diane spat out at Tootie, calling her desire to continue the pregnancy "insane" and purposefully calling the baby "Earl Brown's baby" just to get under Tootie's skin and try to manipulate her into changing her mind.

"That being said, there's still the question of what to do about school in the meantime," Harrison pointed out. "I know how important it is to you to return to your normal way of life at Eastland and be near Mrs. Garrett and your friends. That's equally important to Diane and me, and I want you to know that first thing Monday morning, I am going to call the headmaster, explain the situation, and ask him to help us. We are going to do everything in our power to make certain that you'll be allowed to remain at Eastland during your pregnancy."

"And if I'm not?"

"Let's just cross that bridge if and when we come to it," Harrison responded.

"I'll speak to Mr. Bradley as well," Edna told them. "I'll do everything I can to help make sure Tootie's allowed to stay."

"We appreciate that, Mrs. Garrett," said Diane. "As Harrison told you, we are very grateful to you. We know you've done a lot for Tootie. We appreciate you standing by her."

"And as I said a couple of minutes ago, it's no sacrifice. I love Tootie. I want to do everything I can to help."

"We're very fortunate to have you in Tootie's corner," Harrison said kindly.

"If this little meeting is over, I'd like to go to my room now," Tootie sullenly announced.

"As you wish, Tootie," Diane said quietly, and then Tootie stormed out of the study in a huff.

After an uncomfortable pause, Mrs. Garrett said, "If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go and check on her."

"Be our guest," said Harrison in a nearly angry tone. However, he wasn't angry at Mrs. Garrett; he was angry at his wife and at himself for being so incredibly out of touch with their own daughter that the school dietician seemed to know her better and have an easier time talking to her than they did. It truly boggled his mind how Edna Garrett seemed to be so much better at parenting their own daughter than they were.

Chapter 4: Plans for the Future

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: Plans for the Future

"I will not have this!" Mr. White, a member of Eastland's Board of Trustees, furiously shouted out in Mr. Bradley's office. "This school has always held nothing but the highest moral standards for its students! I will not have a student walking Eastland's halls, going to classes, and interacting with other students who is carrying a baby out of wedlock! Just think what a terrible precedent it would set for all the other girls who attend school here!"

"I agree with Mr. White," Mr. Hawkins, another member, announced.

"So do I," said Mr. Hurst.

"Gentlemen, with all due respect, this is not the 1950s," Mr. Bradley told them, trying desperately hard to stay calm despite the fact that he was boiling with anger inside. "We don't just send pregnant teenagers away like we used to. Nowadays, when a young girl is in trouble, we take a more humane approach. We get involved. We help her."

"And where precisely is that kind of 'help' leading us?" asked Mr. Collins. "Teenage pregnancies are on the rise in this country, and I think that in part, it's because of that so-called 'humane' approach we're taking. By allowing a pregnant teenager to stay in her regular school, surrounded by her classmates, I think we're only sending other teenage girls the message that it's not shameful to be pregnant out of wedlock and at their age – which it certainly is! I feel for young Miss Ramsey. I really do. However, we cannot take only her well-being into account. We must also take into consideration what is best for the Eastland student body as a whole. Having a pregnant student in their midst will send these girls the wrong message."

"With respect, Mr. Collins, I could not disagree more strongly," said Mr. Bradley. "We all know that Dorothy Ramsey has done absolutelynothingwrong. The only thing this girl is guilty of is walking through her own front door during summer vacation and getting sexually assaulted.Raped.She may be pregnant, which is tragic, butshehad no choice in the matter. And now you all want to punish this girl after everything she's already been through by forcing her to give up the education she's receiving here; her friends; her home, for somethingsheis not even responsible for in the first place? For something she is thevictimof? Is Eastlandreallythat heartless of a place, that we shoot our own wounded like that? What kind of message would thatreallybe sending out to the rest of the Eastland student body? 'Girls, if you are ever attacked, this school is going to punish you for crimes you didn't commit and abandon you whenever you need help.'That'sthe message they're going to hear from us if we abandon Dorothy Ramsey now. Is that who wereallyare, gentlemen? Are we reallythatcruel?"

"We cannot think solely about what is best for Miss Ramsey," argued Mr. Hurst. "I am sorry for what she has been through. We all are. But allowing her to stay could not only be harmful to other students; it could be harmful to Eastland's reputation as a whole. It could be sending a message that Eastland is a school with no values; that promotes teenage pregnancy. And if that is what people end up thinking about Eastland, it could cause irreparable damage. Parents could decide that they want to put their daughters in other schools. We could lose countless financial contributions. Allowing Miss Ramsey to stay could spell disaster for Eastland Academy."

"Alfred, if we are more concerned about money and profit and our reputation than we are about doing the right thing, then Eastland Academy isalreadyin the midst of disaster," John Hamilton, the Head Trustee, chimed in. The other trustees were a bunch of old, gray-haired, wealthy and privileged white men, and while Mr. Hamilton was an old, wealthy white man himself, he'd come from a vastly different background than the others. They'd all inherited their wealth, whereas he had built his own business from the ground up and had spent about half his life struggling to get his family out of poverty. He knew far more about life in the real world than his counterparts who'd always been sheltered. "Gentlemen, I'm going to tell you a story," he continued. "Many years ago, a little sixteen-year-old girl went out on a date with a boy at her high school whom she'd had a huge crush on. He took her out to dinner and then to a drive-in movie. Then he drove her out to a place much like Skyview Ridge Road, which the kids in my neighborhood also called 'Make-Out Mountain.' And he dida lot moreto her besides just making out with her that night, and he did itwithouther permission, if you all get my drift. The next day, he bragged to all his buddies at school about how he'd scored with her, and the whole school made fun of her. Everybody believed him over her. They believed she was easy. They relentlessly taunted her. They made her excruciating inner-pain a million times worse than it already was. In the end, she couldn't take it. She dropped out of school the next year; never finished her high school education. And it wasn't just silly, immature kids that bought into the lie. Adults did, too. The whole town believed that she was a loose girl with no values, and that's how they treated her. The way she suffered was beyond heartbreaking." After a long pause, Mr. Hamilton told them, "That girl was my baby sister.

"Ever since I was a boy, that's been the way of the world: when a girl gets raped, we never punish her rapist; we punishher.I haveneverunderstood why that is. Maybe my sister was unfairly punished decades ago, but it's not going to be that way now. We arenotgoing to punish Miss Ramsey the way my sister was punished. We arenotgoing to turn this girl away and rob her of her education like my sister got robbed of hers. Is that clear, everyone?"

Unable to say anything to defend themselves, all the trustees murmured a simple "Yes," and then they turned around and walked out of Mr. Bradley's office.

The instant Mr. Bradley's office door opened, Mrs. Garrett swiftly took a couple of steps back and put her hands behind her back. She tried to be cordial and nod hello to them all, but they didn't even take notice of her. The other trustees were too busy grumbling amongst themselves, and Mr. Hamilton had his mind on his sister and was too lost in his own thoughts to notice. Once they were gone, Mrs. Garrett walked inside, still with her hands behind her back.

"Oh, hi, Edna. I've got some good news."

"I know!" Edna cried out while beaming a smile.

"Oh, I see," Mr. Bradley chuckled as he folded his arms and leaned back against his desk. "Did the school dietician have her ear at my door by any chance?"

Edna shook her head and told him, "No." Then she brought her hands out from behind her back, revealing a glass in the left one. "She hadthisat your door!"

Mr. Bradley laughed out loud, and then he said, "It's alright, Edna. I don't blame you. Had it been me, I would've done the same thing."

Edna laughed at herself in that moment, and after setting the glass down on Mr. Bradley's desk, she told him more seriously, "You were wonderful."

"Wonderful my foot.I was drowning.I was dying in here, that is, until Mr. Hamilton came along and saved my neck."

She shook her head and said, "I heard everything you said. Believe me, you put up a valiant fight. You really were incredible."

"No, Mr. Hamilton was incredible. I always knew he was a tough old geyser, but I never realized what a tender heart he had underneath."

"I know. And anyway, I want you to know how much I appreciate the way you've stood by Tootie through all of this. You don't know what a load off my mind it is to know that she'll be allowed to stay throughout her pregnancy."

"It's only right. Not allowing Tootie to stay at Eastland would be cruel. This school is her home away from home, and you and the girls are her family. And it's obvious that Tootie needs her family now more than ever."

"Yes, she does. And speaking of Tootie, I'd better go call her and her parents and give them all the good news."

"Alright, Edna. I'll see you later."

"Goodbye," Edna told him with a smile and a wave as she started walking out the door.

"Oh, Edna?" Mr. Bradley called after her in that moment, and she turned around. Then he picked up the glass and said, "Don't forget this."

Mrs. Garrett laughed at herself once again as she took the glass from him, and then she headed for the lounge.

Since Tootie and her parents were uncertain if she'd be allowed to stay at Eastland or not, Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey had seen no sense in letting her go back to Peekskill with Mrs. Garrett when she left Washington, D.C. a week ago. During the past week, Mrs. Garrett, the girls, Tootie, and her parents had all been on pins and needles waiting for Mr. Bradley's superiors to decide whether or not Tootie would be allowed to remain at Eastland. Mrs. Garrett was now more than happy to start telling everyone the good news that Friday afternoon.

Mrs. Garrett, Natalie, Jo, and Blair were all there to meet Tootie at the airport the following afternoon, and then they all came back to Eastland and took it easy for the rest of that Saturday, with the exception of all the cooking and cleaning they had to do in the kitchen and cafeteria, of course. Once they were all finished cleaning up after supper that evening, Mrs. Garrett turned in early because of the cold she had started coming down with earlier that day while the girls went into their room to really talk to each other and catch up with Tootie.

"Tootie, I know we've all asked you this already, but how are you doing?" asked Natalie once they'd all sat down at their big desk table together. "I mean, how are youreallydoing since you found out the news? The truth."

"The truth is, I…I really don't knowhowI'm doing. I just have so many different emotions going on inside of me. It's like a great big roller coaster ride inside. One minute, I'm still feeling as shocked and stunned as I felt at the doctor's office when I first found out I was pregnant. The next minute, I think about everything my body is going to go through, not to mention my mind, and I get really scared. The minute after that, I think about how my parents forced this decision on me without lettingmehave any say so at all, even though this ismy lifeandmy baby, and I get so furious. I think I get that emotion most often. I still can't believe my parents would treat me like that; force me into a corner that way. It makes me so angry the way that they just don't seem to care about how I feel; how they only seem to want the option that makestheirlives easiest forthem." It was true that in the beginning, Tootie's father had been much more supportive of the idea of her keeping the baby; however, it was blatantly obvious to Tootie that by the time her parents had the "compromise" talk with her and Mrs. Garrett, he'd caved in order to make peace with his wife – and make his own life with her easier.

Jo, who was sitting beside Tootie, put her arm around her shoulders and said, "I hear ya, Tootie. If I were in your shoes right now, I'd be just as pissed off as you are. With all due respect to your parents, they're really a couple of selfish creeps."

"Tootie, I know you've made it crystal clear how you feel about abortion," said Natalie. "Personally, I've always felt the same way…until now. Until it actually hit me this close to home. I understand you wanting to listen to your maternal instincts and take care of your baby, but speaking as your best friend, I really don't want to see you get hurt any more than you've already been hurt. Tootie, are absolutely certain about not getting an abortion? I for one wouldn't blame you if you felt you couldn't go through with the pregnancy."

Tootie let out a long sigh, and then she responded, "I've been over and over and over this in my mind a million times since the doctor first told me I was pregnant. I know that what I'm going to be going through these next six and a half months is going to be the hardest experience of my life. And I won't lie. I am really,reallyscared. But no matter how many times I run it all through my mind and keep asking myself what I should do, I always come up with the same answer. I know that at the end of the day, if I ended my baby's life just to spare myself pain, I could never live with myself."

Blair looked into Tootie's eyes then and put her hand on top of Tootie's and said, "We're with you, Tootie. If bringing this baby into the world is what you need to do, then we're with you."

"Absolutely," Jo agreed.

"You know me, Tootie. We're best friends for life. We're sisters. Of course I'm with you," Natalie assured her.

"Thanks, you guys. I just wish Mom could be as supportive as you and Mrs. Garrett have been."

"Tootie, we already know how your mom and dad feel about this. We know that your mom hasn't exactly made it a secret that she wants you to get an abortion. And we know that in the beginning, your dad wanted to help you with the baby, but that he and your mom eventually came to a compromise and said you had to give the baby up. I hope you don't mind my asking; I can't help but be curious. What doyouwant to do?" Blair asked.

Tootie was silent for the next several moments before she finally replied, "I don't know. I'm so mixed up. I'm so confused. I know for certain that I'mnotgetting an abortion no matter what my mother says. As for this whole adoption thing, I just don't know what to think right now. Part of me thinks that it's really what's best, both for me and the baby. I can't take care of a baby at fourteen. I know that. And besides, I don't want this baby to have to have a grandmother who hates it," Tootie said dismally, and the girls' silence in the next few seconds said it all. She'd had several conversations with them over the phone while she'd been in D.C. and she'd told them all about what she'd heard her mother say. Now, the pained looks on all their faces clearly expressed what words couldn't. "But then again," Tootie continued, "the idea of giving my baby away to total strangers really frightens me. I know there are a lot of good people out there who want to adopt. I know your adoptive parents have always been good to you, Natalie. But still, I don't like the idea of just handing my baby over to people I don't even know. At least if Mom and Dad would let me keep the baby, I'd have the peace of mind of knowing that my baby's going to be safe and well cared for."

"I know it's hard not to worry about it, Tootie, but try not to. Adoption agencies don't give babies to just anybody. You wouldn't believe what my parents had to go through to adopt me."

"I know, Nat, and I keep trying to remind myself of that. But you remember me telling you about Earl's daughters, Melissa and Rebecca Brown? How I used to play with them a lot when I was a little kid?"

"Yeah," said Jo.

"Well Melissa and Rebecca aren't his biological daughters. His wife Elaine couldn't have kids so they adopted. Now Elaine's saying that the reason she eventually kicked him out of the house was because he was abusing all of them. I try not to let myself think about it too much. If I allow myself to keep dwelling on it all the time, I'll only drive myself crazy, and like I said before, I know that there's no way I can take care of a baby at age fourteen. But no matter how hard I try to just accept the fact that I have to give the baby up and not think about all my fears, it's hard not to. The truth is, in the end, it didn't matter what Earl Brown had to go through in order to adopt. It didn't matter how closely the adoption agency looked into his background. He was still allowed to adopt, not just once but twice. Earl fooled everybody. He fooled the adoption agency, my entire neighborhood, everyone at my church, even my own parents. Everybody loved him. Everybody adored him. He was a pillar of the community. He made financial contributions to my church all the time. He donated to charities. He was everybody's best friend, and we all were convinced he was a terrific husband and father. But behind closed doors, he was an abuser and a rapist. It just gets me to thinking, 'How many other Earl Browns are there out there?' What if Earl Brown's adoption of Melissa and Rebecca wasn't an isolated incident? What if there are other people out there, just as terrible and abusive as he is, who are trying to adopt and get away with adopting an innocent child just like Earl did? How many abusers manage to fool the system?" After a long pause, Tootie somberly asked, "What if somebody like Earl winds up adopting my baby?"

Jo immediately responded by tightening her arm around Tootie's shoulders, and then she told her, "Hey, Tootie, that isnotgoing to happen. Your baby's going to be just fine."

"Tootie, I promise you, my mom and dad had to go through hell and high water in order to adopt me. It isnotthat easy to fool the system the way Earl Brown did. There may be an Earl Brown or two around out there trying to adopt, but the vast majority of the people who want to adopt really are good people like my parents."

"Natalie's right, Tootie," Blair chimed in. "I'm certain that what happened with Earl Brown is a very rare thing. Adoption agencies are extremely thorough. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."

Tootie rose from her seat then and said with tears in her eyes, "You guys don't get it because you're not the one who's pregnant. This baby isn't a part of any of you and you aren't the ones carrying it so it's not your concern. Itisa part of me, though.I'mthe one who's carrying it andI'mthe one who's responsible for it. As long as there isanychance that someone like Earl could end up adopting my baby, no matter how small that chance is, I can never be at peace inside. I'll be terrified for the rest of this pregnancy of putting my baby into the hands of a rapist. I'll be terrified of that for as long as I live. And I will always hate my parents for being so selfish and putting me in this position in the first place!" she cried out, and then she broke down into sobs. The girls knew that mood swings were to be expected, but still, when they saw it happen to Tootie, they weren't exactly sure what to do to help her.

Natalie, Blair, and Jo huddled around her as she cried for the next couple of minutes until finally, Blair said, "Tootie, why don't you just lie down and try to relax for a while, huh?"

"That's a good idea," Natalie agreed.

"Wait a minute, Tootie. Before you do, I have a suggestion. I've been thinkin' here lately that you probably shouldn't use the top bunk in case you tripped and fell while you were trying to climb on top of it. And I know how Nat always complains about wakin' up in the middle of the night and feelin' like she's in a coffin, so instead of switching bunks with her, why don't you switch beds with me? It'll probably be safer that way."

"Thanks, Jo. I really appreciate that."

"No problem."

"Why don't we all clear out of here for a little while so Tootie can get some rest?" Blair suggested, and Nat and Jo agreed, so they all said goodbye to Tootie and left.

While Tootie rested upstairs, Natalie and Jo watched a little TV in the lounge and Blair sat at one of the tables in the cafeteria reading a chapter of a Harlequin romance novel she'd begun the weekend before.

However, what was in that chapter was a complete surprise that not only blindsided her, but made her furious. She was suddenly so outraged and disgusted by what she read that she let out a scream of frustration, got up and stomped through the cafeteria and the kitchen to the outside, and she threw the book into the dumpster with all her strength.

In that next moment, Blair looked up at the stars and moon above and yelled at God, "Where's Tootie's knight?!"

"What are you talking about?" Jo's voice startled her from behind. When Jo had heard Blair's frustrated scream in the cafeteria, she left the lounge and followed her outside to see what was going on.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jo. It's that stupid Harlequin romance novel I was reading. This girl was in love with this wealthy sculptor all her life, but he was engaged to someone else. Well anyway, her sister ended up getting pregnant by her high school sweetheart who she was really in love with, and when he found out she was having his baby, he married her. Right before they left for their honeymoon, she started going on about how he rescued her and the baby from being alone and how he was her knight in shining armor. It just made me sick! How come in a dumb Harlequin romance novel, a grown, adult woman can have sex of her own free will, get pregnant, and then have the baby's father 'rescue' her and her baby and be 'her knight in shining armor' while in the real world, an innocent fourteen-year-old girl gets raped and then gets pregnant and doesn't haveanybodyto rescue her?! I was just asking God whereTootie'sknight in shining armor got off to. How come a stupid, shallow character in a book gets a knight when she needs one and Tootie doesn't?"

"I don't know, Blair," Jo sighed. "You know what makes me maddest of all?"

"What?"

"How helpless I feel. How powerless I am to do anything to help Tootie myself. You see, I have all these other responsibilities I have to worry about. My mom has really busted her butt all these years to put me through Eastland, and I know she expects me to finish college too. The whole neighborhood does. I'm the first person in my neighborhood to get to go to college, so it's like when I start college next year, I'll be takin' my mom and the rest of the neighborhood along with me. I know they're all countin' on me and I can't let 'em down. But if I only had myself to worry about, I'd forget about tryin' to go to college next year and just get a job and a place of my own and I'd take care of Tootie's baby myself so she wouldn't have to worry. It's just that Mom's invested too much of herself into me graduating from Eastland and getting a college degree someday. I couldn't do that to her."

"Jo, you make it sound like you have to apologize for going to college next year. That's nothing you have to be sorry about, regardless of Tootie's situation. And maybe your mom has been working really hard all this time to send you to Eastland, but that's nothing you have to feel guilty about or beat yourself up over like I know you do inside. Your mother's just doing her job. Parents aresupposedto do everything they can to give their children the best possible future, Jo. The fact that your mother is simply living up to her parental responsibilities is nothing for you to personally feel ashamed of. I wish you'd stop beating yourself up over that. And even though I know you feel you owe it to your mother to do the best you can at Eastland and at college someday, don't just do it all for her and the rest of your neighborhood. Do it for yourself too, because it's something thatyouwant. You matter too, you know. You matter just as much as your mother and everybody else does."

"Wow, Blair. I don't know what to say. That's really great advice. When did you turn into Mrs. Garrett?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that I've necessarily turned into Mrs. Garrett. It's just that I've always noticed how hard you are on yourself and how you beat yourself up all the time because of how hard your mother works to send you to Eastland. It's rather obvious you have a real guilt complex and I hate to see it. You are a good, kind, hardworking person and you deserve good things. I hope you know that."

"Blair, stay right there and don't move. I'm gonna go get Mrs. G. and have her take your temperature! Something is definitely wrong with you! You must've caught her cold. I'll bet you're delirious with fever!"

Blair stifled a laugh in that moment and then she said, "I'm serious, Jo. Listen, I know we fight and argue all time, and ninety-nine percent of the time what we fuss about is silly stuff that doesn't even matter. I guess what's happened to Tootie recently has really made me grow up. I mean, I look at how she's handling all of this; how strong she's being despite howunhelpful her parents are. It's just made me realize how childish I've been in my own life. Just a few short weeks ago during summer vacation, before this whole disaster happened, the most important thing in my life was planning my latest shopping spree with my mother. Now, the most important thing in Tootie's life is making sure the baby she's carrying doesn't get adopted by some sick child molester like Earl Brown. It really puts things in perspective."

"You're right. It does. I think watchin' Tootie go through all this has had a similar effect on me. I think it's really made me do a lot of growin' up, too; made me realize what's really important in life."

"Jo, I know that you and I have different beliefs about God. I know that being in a relationship with Christ really means a lot to you."

"Yeah, that's true. I don't agree with everything Catholicism teaches, but my relationship with Jesus is everything to me."

"Well how does somebody like you explain this? I just don't understand how you could have any faith in God at all after seeing something like this happen to one of your closest friends. The night before my parents' divorce became final, I begged God the whole night not to let it happen; to keep my family together. God just ignored me. Abandoned me. And He didn't do anything to help Tootie, either, or Melissa and Rebecca Brown for that matter. And the sad fact of the matter is, we can pray and pray and pray all we want for God not to allow someone abusive like Earl Brown to adopt Tootie's baby, but that still might happen. How can you put your faith in a God like that?"

"Blair, you obviously have some kind of messed up notion that putting your faith in God automatically means that He's going to come into your life like some kind of magic fairy and solve all your problems for you. It doesn't work that way. We live in a sinful, cruel world, Blair. It didn't start out that way. God never intended for things to be like this. Earth used to be a perfect place, but because the first man disobeyed Him in the Garden of Eden, the world's been a cruel place to live ever since. God doesn't always protect us from bad things. Sometimes He allows us to go through painful experiences that end up being worked out for good if we trust Him. God didn't stop Earl Brown from raping Tootie because He gave us free will. If He hadn't given us free will, humanity would be nothing but a bunch of mindless robots. God wanted us to be able to think for ourselves. And in this sick, fallen world, the gift of free will is often twisted in order to hurt others. Earl Brown had the free will, the choice, to hurt Tootie or to not hurt her, and he chose to hurt her, and when he did, I'm sure the Lord wanted to punch his lights out. Jesus doesn't like it any better than we do when crap like this happens. But He's always working behind the scenes to turn bad things – even the most terrible things like this – into good things. Just think about Joseph's story in the book of Genesis."

"Wasn't he the one with the coat of many colors?"

"Right. He was one of Jacob's sons – his favorite son as a matter of fact, which really made his other brothers hate his guts. His brothers sold him into slavery and lied to their father, telling him that he'd been killed. Then after that, his master's wife in Egypt falsely accused him of trying to have sex with her and he was imprisoned. Some time later, the pharaoh started having dreams and Joseph accurately interpreted them. God was warning the pharaoh in his dreams that after seven plentiful years, there would be seven years of famine. The pharaoh went on to make Joseph the second most powerful person in Egypt, and they managed to save up extra food during the seven good years so that they could be prepared for the seven years of famine. What happened to Joseph in the beginning was awful. First he became a slave and then a prisoner. It wasn't fair. But look what happened in the end. God used him to save countless lives. God does things like that all the time."

"He's never done anything like that in my life," Blair said petulantly.

"You wanna bet?"

"What are you talking about? Of course He hasn't," she still insisted.

"What about us? What about the family you have here at Eastland with Natalie, Tootie, Mrs. G. and me? Blair, in the beginning, you and I couldn't stand each other. I couldn't stand Eastland at all, period. I hated it here at first. I was so angry at Mom for sendin' me away to this school. I didn't want anything to do with a bunch of snooty preppies. Then after I arrived, I went and messed everything up, not just for myself but for you, Nat, and Tootie, too. We landed ourselves in jail; got expelled from Eastland; got put on probation. I didn't exactly get off to agoodstart here at Eastland, and you girls were furious at me for getting you into so much trouble. But then something happened. I got to know you guys, and you got to know me. We became friends. We even became a family. I love my mom, but if I'm gonna be really honest, here, then I have to admit that the life I have here with all of you is tons better than what I had back home, bein' a latchkey kid and all. Personally, I think Jesus had a lot to do with that. Think about it. Would you havereallybeen happy back in one of your parents' homes, spendin' more time with the nanny than with your mom and dad? And would you havereallybeen happier living in one of the dorms than you would be here? Come on, Blair. Admit it. You know you're better off here with us. God took our mistake – ourbigmistake – and turned it around for all of us; made us a family."

"I never thought of it that way before, but I guess you're right," Blair reluctantly admitted. "Getting thrown in jail, put on probation, and expelled from Eastland wasn't exactly a good thing, but somehow, the five of us did end up with something pretty special that we wouldn't have had otherwise. I never realized that before. I guess I never really thought about it until now. But I still fail to see what possible good could come out of Tootie being raped and then getting pregnant as a result of that rape."

"I know. There's no doubt about it. It's a crappy situation, and I don't know why this had to happen to Tootie of all people. The bottom line is, we don't have knowledge, the intelligence, or the power to run this planet. God does. God is not unjust or cruel; He is remarkably caring and merciful. When Adam sinned and the entire human race fell, He could have chosen to forget all about us and leave us to our own devices, but He didn't. He chose to love us so incredibly much that He actually gave up His only begotten Son to die on a cross for us so that our relationship with Him could be restored and so we wouldn't have to pay the just penalty for our sins by going to hell, as long as we accepted the gift of Christ's perfect sacrifice on our behalf. It's nothing we have to work for or do penance for, becausewe can neverdo enough good works to earn or preserve a gift like that. In God's utterly remarkable mercy, the most precious gift mankind could ever hope to receive is free, and all we have to do is say yes. As long as we trust Him, Jesus does all the work of salvation for us; holds onto us throughout our lives and brings us Home in the end, because He knowswe can'tdo it for ourselves. That's some pretty astounding love there, Blair. And when terrible things happen in this cruel world we've inherited, like Tootie getting raped, the only thing we can do is trust Christ to work it out and live our lives as best we can. All we can do now is try to be the best friends to Tootie that we can be, and do everything in our power to help her through this. After that, we just have to leave the rest to God and know that He knows what He's doing."

After a long silence, Blair finally admitted, "You've given me a lot to think about, Jo."

"I think this whole thing has given us all a lot to think about."

"Agreed."

"Well, I think I'll go back inside now. I'll leave you with your thoughts," Jo said, and then Blair nodded. In the next moment, Jo turned around and went back inside, and Blair let out a long sigh as she gazed up at the night sky.

Over the next five weeks, Blair continued to wrestle with both God and herself inside. At first, she didn't want to break down and admit it because of her own personal pride, but she finally got to a point where she had to be completely honest with herself and admit that Jo had been right about everything she'd said that night about the Lord. She also struggled inside because Jo's words about how she'd willingly give up her college education to care for Tootie's baby wouldn't stop repeating in Blair's mind. She couldn't stop thinking about how a person with far less money and opportunities than she had was willing to sacrifice her one and only shot at making a better life for herself in order to help a friend. Finally, one Sunday afternoon, Blair couldn't stand it anymore and she got Jo alone in the lounge to talk to her.

Without so much as a hello, Blair suddenly blurted out as they were standing in front of each other, "You were right!"

"Right about what?"

"You were right about everything you said to me that night, Jo. You were right about Christ and everything you said in the story about Joseph and everything."

"So you decided to stop being angry at Him and start trusting Him with your life instead?"

"Yes."

"Good deal," Jo said with a big smile.

"I may be brilliant when it comes to things like fashion and hooking a man, but there are some things in life – like running the whole planet – that are even beyondmycomprehension," Blair said goofily, and Jo rolled her eyes at her silliness.

"Blair Warner actually admitting that somebody else knows better than she does. Be still my heart!" Jo said sarcastically.

After they laughed together for a moment, Blair said more seriously, "I know that if there's anybody worth trusting with my life, it's Jesus. I know He knows better than I do, even in crazy, awful situations like Tootie's where things don't make any sense."

"Right."

A quiet moment passed between them, and then Blair eventually said, "Jo, I have something else that's really serious that I need to talk to you about."

"What's up?"

"Jo, what kind of a mother do you think I'd make? Seriously. If I tried to take care of a child in my life right now, do you think I'd be any good at it? Tell me honestly. No jokes."

"Sure you'd be good at it."

To put it mildly, Blair was stunned by Jo's answer. "Are youserious?" she asked incredulously.

"Of course I'm serious."

After a pause, Blair said, "Wow. Jo, you're more critical of me than anyone. I was expecting you to tell me about all my flaws and all the things I would do wrong as a mother."

"Well, youwouldmake the kid even more spoiled than you are, but other than that, you'd be great."

"What makes you think so?"

"Blair, over the years, you have told me over and over again how much you look forward to getting married, having children, and giving your children all the things you never got as a kid. You've told me before how even though your parents have always given you everything that money could buy, you've constantly had to work hard to get their time and attention, and how your kids will never have to work to get time and attention from you. It's always been your dream to be a mother someday, or to be more precise, the kind of parent you needed but never got. I think maybe you've always wanted that even more than you've wanted to become a professional painter."

"Yeah, I think you might be right," Blair said thoughtfully.

"Why do you ask?"

"There's something else you said that night a few weeks ago that really got me thinking."

"What'd I say?"

"You said that if you didn't owe it to your mother and the rest of your neighborhood to finish college, you'd give up going to college and raise Tootie's baby yourself. Well Jo, I've really been thinking about that. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind as a matter of fact. We both know that even if you didn't have your mom to think about, you'd never be able to postpone college and adopt Tootie's baby because you're only eighteen. I imagine that in order to adopt, you'd have to be at least twenty-one. And even if you were able to adopt the baby, you know as well as I do that you'd never be able to go back to college if you did. All the money you made would go into taking care of the baby.

"But it's different for me. I don't have those restrictions. My mom used to date a judge and a senator. My dad is also on a first-name basis with the governor and several mayors, and he knows a congressman as well. I'm the daughter of not just one buttwomultimillionaires with friends in very high places. If I talked to my parents about it, it is possible that I could convince them to use their connections to help me adopt Tootie's baby, even though I am only eighteen. And unlike you, I have the financial freedom to be able to postpone college indefinitely and then go back to school again whenever I want. I have enough money that I can easily support myself and a baby and just throw myself into full-time motherhood until the baby's old enough for me to start college."

Jo just stood before her in silent shock for the next several moments, until at last she said, "Let me see if I get this straight. You want to postpone going to college indefinitely so you can adopt Tootie's baby yourself?"

Blair's chestnut eyes locked with Jo's green ones for a long moment, and then Blair answered, "Yes."

"Wow, Blair. Wow. Just wow."

"I know it probably sounds crazy, but–"

"Well, crazy's not necessarily a bad thing," Jo interrupted. "Love for another person can make you want to do 'crazy' things sometimes, whether it's love for a guy or for a parent…or for a friend who's like your baby sister."

They shared a knowing smile, and then Blair asked, "Do you really think I can do it?"

"I think that if any eighteen-year-old in the world could pull this off, it's you. I know how you were wanting to know where Tootie's knight in shining armor was a few weeks ago. I wouldn't have expected you to end up being Tootie's knight who suddenly came in to save the day. But the truth is, as far as knights go, I think you'll be a good one. Well, maybe not when it comes to sword-fighting and slaying dragons, but I think you do have what it takes to rescue Tootie and her baby."

"Wow," Blair gasped. "A vote of confidence from Jo Polniaczek. Who could ask for more?"

Jo smiled again, and then she told Blair, "You know, I think this might really be the perfect solution to Tootie's problem. If you buy your own house here in Peekskill, you and the baby will be near Tootie and she'll be able to see it anytime she wants. And with you raising it, Tootie won't have to worry about trying to take care of a baby at fourteen. She'll be able to relax because she won't be giving her baby away to some stranger she doesn't know. She'll be giving it to somebody she knows she can trust."

"I was thinking the same thing. But there are some important things that have to happen first, though. I've got to get all my ducks in a row. First, I have to talk to my parents and convince them to go along with this. Then, I should talk to Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey and get them on board. I figure it'll be a lot easier to do this if I have their support since they're both such skilled lawyers."

"Right," Jo agreed, and then in that next instant, she and Blair heard a thump behind them.

"What was that?" asked Blair while Jo went out into the cafeteria to check. Jo quickly found Natalie, who had just tripped, still on her hands and knees on the floor.

"Natalie!" Jo shouted. "Just what do you think you're doin'?!"

Natalie looked up then and sheepishly replied, "Looking for loose change?"

"Get up!" she barked, and Natalie slowly rose to her feet as Blair came out from the lounge.

"Natalie, were you listening to us?" asked a very irritated Blair with her hands on her hips.

Without even bothering to answer that question, Natalie asked, "Blair, is it really true that you're going to try to adopt Tootie's baby?!"

"Shh!" Blair quietened her, and then she grabbed Natalie by the arm and pulled her into the lounge while Jo followed them. "Natalie, I don't want anybody to know about this yet," she scolded.

"Not even Tootie?"

"Especiallynot Tootie," Blair responded.

"But why not? She'll be thrilled! She'll be so relieved."

"Think about it, Nat. If we tell Tootie about all this now and she gets to thinkin' that she doesn't have to worry about her baby anymore, and then Blair isn't able to convince her parents to support her and it all falls through, Tootie'll be even more crushed than she is right now," Jo explained.

"That's right," Blair agreed. "And I don't want Mrs. Garrett to know about this either."

"Why not?" asked Natalie.

"Because this is the scariest, most challenging thing I've ever decided to do in my entire life and what I need most right now is support. What Idon'tneed is to have to hear a bunch of lectures from Mrs. Garrett about how I'm too young to be a parent. I love Mrs. Garrett, but thelastthing I need is for her to try to discourage me from doing this. I need all the help and all the support I can get."

"You need support and not lectures," Natalie said knowingly.

"Exactly," said Blair.

"Gotcha. Don't worry, Blair. I won't say a word about this to anyone."

Jo got up in Natalie's face then, held up a fist, and said, "If you do, you can kiss your teeth goodbye. Are we clear?"

Natalie's blue eyes grew wide with fear in that moment, and then she replied, "Crystal."

"Good," said Jo with a smile and a nod as she brought her fist down.

After another minute or two of chitchat, the threesome went out in Blair's Porsche to get something to eat, and they spent the rest of the afternoon excitedly talking and making plans for the future.

Chapter 5: Changes

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: Changes

The following weekend, Blair left Peekskill to meet with her mother in her mansion in Manhattan. She tried to arrange a meeting with both her mother and her father, but as usual, her father couldn't clear enough time in his schedule to come. When Monica Warner first learned what Blair wanted to do that Saturday morning, she was pretty shocked. However, it didn't take her long to make the decision to support Blair and use her connections to help her. They spent most of that day chatting about going house hunting in future months and going shopping for baby clothes and furniture and preparing for the baby's arrival.

Afterwards, Blair left her mother's mansion and caught a late night flight to Washington, D.C. When she arrived there in the wee hours of Sunday morning, she went to the hotel suite she reserved for herself and got some sleep. She'd called beforehand and arranged to meet with the Ramseys at their house that afternoon, so when she arrived on their doorstep at two o'clock that Sunday, they were expecting her. Diane answered the door, and then she took Blair back to their study where Harrison was sitting behind their big desk. Diane stood by her husband's chair and Blair sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk.

"Well, Blair, this is certainly a surprise. We don't get a request to meet with one of our daughter's classmates every day," Harrison said with a friendly smile. "And you've certainly come a long way just to have a conversation with us."

"Ordinarily, I would have tried to do this over the phone if I could have and not bother you, but this is so incredibly important that it just couldn't be discussed in a mere telephone conversation. I had to come and talk to both of you about this face to face."

"You've definitely piqued my interest, Blair," Diane commented.

"And mine as well," Harrison agreed. "So tell me, Blair, what can we do for you?"

After a short pause, Blair responded, "Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey, I hate to get into really personal family matters, but in this case, I have to. I'm sure you've already figured it out that this has something to do with Tootie."

"Yes, we figured that," said Harrison.

Following another awkward moment of silence, Blair finally asked, "Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey, may I be blunt and just come right to the point?"

"By all means," Harrison replied.

Blair looked them both right in the eyes in that moment and told them, "Your daughter is suffering. Ever since you told her that she had to give her baby up for adoption, she has been suffering tremendously."

"How so?" asked a skeptical Diane after she folded her arms across her chest.

"She knows that Earl Brown's daughters, Melissa and Rebecca, are both adopted. Even though Tootie knows that there are a lot of trustworthy couples out there who want to adopt, she can't help but be afraid that the person who ends up adopting her baby will be somebody like Earl Brown; a person who has fooled the system into believing he's an upstanding citizen when he's really a predator behind closed doors."

Blair then noticed the instantaneous change in Diane's facial expressions from partially friendly and curious to downrightfurywhen she finished saying her piece. With her arms still folded across her chest, Diane told her, "Young lady, if you have come all this way to try to talk us into changing our minds about the adoption, you can just forget it. That isnotgoing to happen."

"That's not why I'm here, Mrs. Ramsey," Blair quickly assured her. "I'm here becauseIwant to adopt Tootie's baby."

To put it mildly, the Ramseys were really taken aback by Blair's last sentence. It took them several moments to really process what she'd just said in their minds. Finally, Harrison said, "Come again?"

"I want to adopt Tootie's baby."

"Don't you think you're a little young to be thinking about motherhood?" asked Diane.

"You're right, Mrs. Ramsey. Under normal circ*mstances, I'd never consider trying to become a mom at eighteen. I'd be focusing on getting ready for college and I'd be preparing for my career as an artist. But I think we can all agree that these arenotnormal circ*mstances."

"You can say that again," Harrison said with a sigh.

"I realize that I'm pretty young. I know that I'm legally considered an adult now, but I also know that ordinarily, a judge wouldn't even consider giving a baby to someone as young as I am. However, I am the daughter of two multimillionaires who have a lot of powerful connections in our legal system. I've already spoken to my mother, and she's agreed to pull a few strings to try and help me out. And I am more than capable of financially supporting myself and Tootie's baby once I graduate from Eastland. I figure that I can buy a house of my own in Peekskill and spend these next few years being a stay-at-home mother until the baby's older, and then, I'll be able to go to college. And with the baby and me living in Peekskill, Tootie will be able to see it and spend time with it any time she wants, and she won't have to worry about giving her baby away to someone she doesn't know. This way, I'll be able to give Tootie the peace of mind she deserves. I really do believe that this is the best solution for both of them. And I wanted to come here and talk to you about it because I know it couldn't hurt to have a couple of skilled attorneys on my side."

After yet another awkward silence, Diane finally asked, "But what about you? I don't disagree that this probably is the best possible option for Tootie at this point, and I am really amazed that you're willing to go to such great lengths to help our daughter. But what about what's best for you? Are youabsolutely certainthat postponing college for the next several years isreallywhat you want for your own life? I just want to be sure you understand what you're getting into."

"Well to be perfectly honest, Mrs. Ramsey, I'm not sureanyfirst-time parent is ever completely certain of what it is they're getting into until theydohave their first baby. Everybody has some idea of what it's like to have a baby in their life, but I don't think anybody everreallyknows for sure until a person goes through it herself. I know it's a daunting thing, and I won't try to pretend that I'm not a little scared. I am. But no matter how overwhelmed I feel at times when I really start to think about it, I know in the end that I have to do this."

"May I askwhyyou feel you 'have' to do this?" Harrison asked, deep in thought.

"The simple answer is, because Tootie's my friend and I love her. Like I told you before, Tootie's suffering. And I am in a position to put a stop to that suffering. What kind of a friend, what kind of ahuman beingwould I be, if I didn't? Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey, the girls and Mrs. Garrett and I really are a family at Eastland. Tootie is like the little baby sister I never had. She's my family, and as I said a moment ago, I love her. And because I love Tootie, I also love her baby. Quite frankly, I'm just as worried as she is about her baby ending up in the hands of some pervert like Earl Brown who managed to fool the system.Ineed to know this baby is going to be cared for and safe just as much as Tootie does."

Again, several long moments of silence passed. At last, Harrison let out a sigh and said, "Blair, you are obviously an incredible young woman. Tootie is very blessed to have such wonderful friends in her life."

"You do seem to have your mind made up," Diane observed.

Blair looked Diane in the eyes and told her, "It is, Mrs. Ramsey."

"I can't say I agree with your decision. I know that if I were your mother, I wouldnotbe supportive of you putting off going to college and becoming a mother at age eighteen," Diane told her. "But then again, I'm not your mother. It's not my place to make that kind of a judgment call. However, IamTootie's mother. I still believe it would have been best for her to have an abortion and just leave this whole mess behind her and move on with her life, but I realize my daughter and I will never see eye to eye on that. Since Tootie insists on bringing this baby into the world, I think it's clear that giving the baby to someone like you who she trusts, who is going to be living near her and is going to allow her to see the baby whenever she wants, is the best possible option at this point."

Harrison slowly nodded and said, "I agree with my wife. I think that what you're suggesting is undoubtedly the least painful option for our daughter. I…I don't even know what to say. My wife and I are more grateful to you for your help than we can truly express. This means everything to our family."

Blair smiled and said, "I'm more than happy to do it; believe me."

"Have you said anything to Tootie about this yet?" questioned Diane.

"No, not yet. I wanted to wait and see if I could get yours and my parents' support first. I didn't want to get Tootie's hopes up in case things didn't work out."

"Don't worry. We'll get it all to work out," Diane said with determination. "Harrison and I may not be multimillionaires like your parents, but we have a lot of legal pull ourselves. We'll work together with your parents and their connections and pull some strings."

"I appreciate that, Mrs. Ramsey," Blair told her. Then a couple of moments later, she said, "Well, I guess I'd better head back to my hotel and start packing. I have a flight to catch in a few hours."

"When's your flight?" asked Diane.

"It's at six-thirty this evening."

"Why don't you stay here and have an early dinner with us? Afterwards, we can drive you to your hotel and let you pack, and then we can drop you off at the airport," Harrison offered.

"That's really very kind of you, Mr. Ramsey. Thank you."

"It's nothing," Diane said with a smile.

Blair stayed and had an early supper with the Ramseys as planned, and then they drove her to her hotel and afterwards, to the airport. After Blair caught her flight that evening, the Ramseys drove home in a very uncomfortable silence. Diane's relief was almost palpable, but Harrison was having a very different reaction to Blair's visit. He didn't say a word to his wife, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to see it that he was absolutely furious inside.

When they got back home, however, Harrison's quiet, unspoken anger becamevery loud, outspoken anger.

"What kind of parents are we, Diane?!" he spat out at his wife practically the very second they crossed the threshold of their front door into their foyer.

"What are you talking about?" asked a bewildered Diane as she hung her coat up.

"What does it say about us thatBlair Warneris willing to do more for our daughter thanweare?! That little eighteen-year-old girl is willing to sacrifice her college education and buy a house in Peekskill after she graduates from high school so that she can take care ofour grandchild!And what arewedoing for it?! What arewedoing to alleviate our daughter's suffering and give her the peace of mind she deserves?!Absolutely nothing!Who are we, Diane?! What kind of parents are we? What kind of people have we become?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Diane said quietly.

"Oh, I think you do," Harrison disagreed. "I think that deep down, you knowexactlywhat I'm talking about. Marshall got another DUI over the Thanksgiving break as he was driving around all drunk with his drunk buddies. Harrison, Jr. hasn't called or written or communicated with us in any way in several months now. He's practically a stranger to us, and I'm sure we're strangers to him and his young wife. And now, our little girl, theonlyone of our three children who still wants anything to do with us, has gotten raped by a man we trusted, and has gotten pregnant as a result, andwearen't the ones lifting a finger to help her through it; her friend from school is. A young girl whose life is just beginning, who should be thinking about boys and dances and getting ready for college, is instead making plans to adopt our grandchild in order to help our daughter becausewearen't willing to do anything!"

"I am not listening to this," Diane said stubbornly as she started to walk away.

"Oh yes you are!" Harrison shouted as he followed after her.

"Well you just keep right on talking, then, but you're only going to be talking to yourself becauseIamnotlistening to a word!" she yelled as she rushed upstairs.

Again, Harrison ran after her, and he followed her into their master bedroom. When he caught up to her, he grabbed her by the shoulders and yelled, "Listen to me, Diane! Quit trying to run away from meand just listen to me!"

"Why?! Why should I listen toanythingyou have to say?! You're only going to go on and on and on about Earl Brown's baby and how I have some insane kind of 'responsibility' to love it! And I'm going to tell you now, Harrison, that you're only wasting your breath! There are no words in the English language that you can possibly say that'll make me love this baby. There isnothingyou can say that'll get me to change my mind about letting Tootie keep this baby. My mind is one hundred percent made up."

Harrison loosened his grip on his wife's shoulders then and said, "Alright. Fine. Your mind's made up about the adoption. I don't agree with you, and neither does Tootie. Like you said, we'll never see eye to eye on this thing. I guess I'll have to accept that. But what Icannotaccept any longer is the fact that I threw my relationships with my children under the bus so that I could have more time to focus on my career. It's too late to work things out with Harrison, Jr. It's probably too late for us to try to have any kind of a relationship with Marshall. But itisn'ttoo late for us to start really being parents to Tootie."

"What are you talking about? We never threw our relationships with our kids under the bus."

"You must be up to your eyeballs in denial if you honestly believe that," Harrison said in disgust. "If you really need me to, I'll spell it out for you. We threw our relationships with our kids under the bus the minute we shipped them away to boarding schools and allowed other people to raise them for us."

Diane scoffed and said, "We were never trying to get rid of our children. We sent them away to a couple of the best private schools in the country –in the world.We did it so they could get a far better education than we ever got."

"Oh, come on, Diane! Quit feeding yourself all that bull! You know perfectly well that there's a private school here in our very neighborhood that we could have sent all three of our kids to without ever sending them hundreds of miles away! They could have gotten just as good of an education here as they've been getting at the schools we sent them to and you know it! We may have wanted to give our kids a first-class education, but you know as well as I do that therealreason we sent them away was because we didn't want to have to do the work of raising them ourselves. We wanted to turn them over to somebody else so that we could be lawyers twenty-four-seven. Don't you see it, Diane? We may love our kids, but weworshipour careers. Everything that's happened to Tootie has made me realize that. It's been a real wake-up call for me. It's made me realize as a father just how much we take our daughter for granted. I don't want to do that anymore."

"What are you saying?" asked Diane.

After a long silence, he finally answered, "I'm saying that I don't want us to put our careers before our children anymore. I don't want to worship my career anymore. I poured my heart, my soul, everything I had into being a husband and a lawyer, butnotinto being a father. I want that to change where at leastoneof our children is concerned. We call ourselves Christians, Diane. Well now, I want to startactinglike it. I want Jesus to come first in my life like He always should have, and after the Lord, I want you and our children to be the most important thing in my life. I don't want to be an attorney first anymore. Tootie hasnotbeen a priority in your life or in mine. I want that to change.I needthat to change. Diane, I think it's time you and I made some big changes in our lives."

"What kind of changes?" she asked skeptically as she folded her arms across her chest.

"I want us to give up our law firm here in D.C."

"Give it up?!Are youcrazy?!"

"Please, Diane, just let me finish," he said as he held up his hands, and she responded with another scoff. "I want us to quit our firm here in Washington, D.C., and I want us to go to work at another law firm in Manhattan. I want us to get a place in Peekskill, and I want us to commute from Peekskill to New York City every day and be at home in the evenings at areasonablehour rather than spending twelve, sometimes fourteen hours a day at work like we do now. I want us to be near Tootie, and I want us to startreallybeing parents to her again. I want us to actuallyseeour own daughter every day, Diane, like parents aresupposedto do."

Diane let out a frustrated sigh, shook her head, and said, "Harrison, we have poured our wholelivesinto that firm. We can't just give it up at the drop of a hat."

"Why not?" Harrison asked in a whisper.

Diane continued shaking her head for several moments until she eventually said, "This is crazy, Harrison. This is absolutely crazy."

"Okay. Fine. It's crazy. So what? Let's do something crazy! Let's do something crazy for the sake of our daughter who needs us."

"You're just feeling guilty because of Blair's visit. I mean, come on, Harrison. This isn't like you at all. You don't just do crazy things like this on a whim."

"This isn't on a whim, Diane. And Blair's plans to take care of Tootie's baby have nothing to do with it. Blair's visit was just the straw that broke the camel's back. The truth is, deep down, I've felt this way for a long time now. I just didn't know how to say it. Or rather, I didn'twantto say it because I was afraid this was how you'd react. I was afraid you wouldn't be with me on this."

"How can I possibly be with you on something like this? I understand how you feel about Tootie. I miss her just as much as you do when she's away at school, but we can't do something so irresponsible. We can't just shut down our firm, put all our employees out of work, and move up to Peekskill tomorrow morning. This is insane!"

"We'd help all our employees find other work before we closed our firm. I'm not talking about moving to Peekskill first thing tomorrow morning. I realize that this is going to take a little time, but I am still convinced that this is something that we as parents have got to do."

"AndIam convinced that you are just letting your guilt get the best of you and talking crazy."

Harrison's whole body deflated as he let out a sigh of defeat, and then he told her sadly, "Diane, you just don't get it."

"I thinkyou'rethe one who doesn't get it, Harrison," Diane stubbornly insisted.

Harrison simply responded by shaking his head, and then without uttering another word, he got out his suitcase and started packing.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Diane.

"I'm going to go stay in a hotel for a while," he answered quietly. "I need some time to myself. I need a little time to think things over."

"Wait a minute. Hold on. We have one simple argument and now you're ready to just up andleave?" Diane asked, unable to believe her ears.

Harrison packed in silence for the next minute or so, and after he closed up his suitcase, he finally told his wife, "I think we can agree that ever since Tootie was assaulted, things haven't been that great between us. I think you and I should take a break for a while. I think webothneed to be on our own for a little bit so we can do some good, hard thinking about where we stand as a family." Harrison picked up his suitcase off the bed then, and he kissed Diane on the cheek and said, "I'll call you from my hotel room and let you know where I'll be staying."

"You're serious," Diane said in disbelief. "You really are ready to walk out because of this?"

"I'll call," he said quietly, and then he walked out of the room.

When Diane heard his car drive away a couple of minutes later, she collapsed onto the bed and started crying.

More tears were shed later that night, but they were tears of relief and not sadness. Blair got back to the Eastland campus at about nine o'clock that evening, and the first thing she did when she arrived was gather the girls together in their room so she could tell them everything. Since Jo and Natalie already knew, it only made sense for them to be there as well.

Tootie and Natalie sat down next to each other on the right side of Jo's bed while Blair and Jo stood in front of them. Tootie was now eighteen weeks into her pregnancy and she was beginning to show a little. She was currently wearing an oversized purple sweater and jeans, but even with the big sweater on, her growing stomach could be seen. Jo and Natalie were dressed similarly. Natalie was also in a warm blue sweater and jeans and Jo was wearing a long-sleeved gray sweatshirt and jeans, as would be expected for the December weather. Only Blair stood out in her long-sleeved designer gold blouse and long black shirt and matching black boots.

"What is it, Blair? What did you want to talk to me about?" asked Tootie.

"Tootie…how would you feel about it if I told you that I knew of someone who wanted to adopt your baby? Someone you knew you could trust, who wasn't a stranger?"

"Who are you talking about?"

After a long pause, Blair finally told Tootie, "I'm talking about me." Jo and Natalie then looked at each other and gave one another a knowing smile.

"You? But Blair, you're only eighteen. You've got college coming up. You couldn't take care of an infant all on your own and go to college at the same time. And I know you've always dreamed of a career in art."

"So what?" Blair said with simple shrug of her shoulders. "Lots of people wait and go back to college later on in their lives. I'll simply postpone my college education for a few years until the baby's a little older. It's no big deal. People do that sort of thing all the time."

"But aren't you too young to adopt?"

Blair smiled and said, "Not when both your parents are as filthy rich and well-connected as mine are. My parents know a lot of people in high places. I spoke to Mother yesterday and she said she'd be willing to pull some strings. And then I flew to Washington, D.C. and spoke to your parents about it earlier today. They're on board, too. Just think about it, Tootie. I could buy a house right here in Peekskill, and you'd be able to see your baby every day. I could take care of it for you. I could be a stay-at-home mother for a while until it's older and it doesn't need me at home as much. That way, you'd never have to worry. You'd always know that your baby's in good hands."

For the next few moments, Tootie just sat there in stunned silence. She honestly couldn't believe it that her friend was willing to put her own college education aside and take on the remarkable responsibility of caring for a child –her child– just to give her peace of mind.

Finally, Tootie looked up at Blair and told her, "Blair, I don't even know what to say. I can't believe you'd want to do something so incredible just so I wouldn't have to be afraid anymore. I just don't want you and your parents and me and my parents to all get together and agree to do this and then you regret it later. I mean, becoming a parent is an unbelievable responsibility, and you're still a teenager too. You still have your whole life ahead of you."

Blair knelt down in front of Tootie then, looked up into her eyes, and said, "Tootie, I promise you, that'll never happen. I'll never regret my decision and want to change my mind later. You see, Tootie, I know how it feels to get rejected by a parent. I know that my father does love me in his own way, but the family business has always been a much bigger priority to him than I ever was. I hardly ever saw him when he was still married to Mother and we all lived under the same roof, and it's been even worse since they got divorced. Daddy may 'love' me, but he's always rejected me by never spending time with me. It's been the same story with all the stepfathers and potential stepfathers that have come through my life over the years. As all my mother's boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands got closer to her, they'd get closer to me as well, and I'd believe Ifinallyhad a father in my life who was truly willing to love me. Then their relationship with Mother would go sour and they'd leave, and I'd never hear from them again. It would just be another rejection. I promise you, I wouldnevermake a commitment to take care of your baby and then regret it later and walk out and make the baby feel rejected, because I know from personal experience just what that feels like. I'd never do something that cruel to a child.

"Tootie, you said a while back that we didn't know what you were going through because we weren't the ones who were pregnant," Blair continued. "You said your baby was a part of you and not a part of us. You said we didn't understand because we weren't the ones responsible for your baby and your baby wasn't our concern. Well, you were right about the first part. We don't know what it's like to be pregnant. But everything else you said wasn't true. This babyisour concern, Tootie." Blair then put her hand on Tootie's growing stomach, and Tootie responded by putting her hand on top of Blair's. "We may not be carrying it like you are, but wearejust as worried about its well-being. I don't want to see this baby given away to strangers who we don't know we can trust or not. Your baby's just as much a member of our family as you are, and I want it to be safe just as much as you do. I know it's your baby biologically, but in a way, it belongs to all of us, too, because we're a family."

"I never dreamed in a million years that I'd be sayin' these words out loud in front of other people, but…Blair's right," Jo said softly. "Tootie, this baby means a lot to all of us, too. We'd be just as worried as you would if you had to give it up to total strangers."

"I feel the same way, Tootie," Nat agreed. "I mean, I know that there are a lot of good couples out there like my parents, who really want to adopt and would take good care of a baby if they had the chance, but I know that there are also some Earl Browns out there, too. I don't want you to take that kind of a chance with your baby. I know you'd feel a lot better giving it to someone like Blair who you knew you could trust, and the truth is, Jo and I would feel a lot better, too."

Tootie was silent for a few more moments, and then she looked into Blair's eyes and said, "Blair, I just want you to be absolutely certain. After we all agree to this thing, there's no turning back. Are you really sure about postponing college and everything?"

Blair's eyes stayed locked with Tootie's as she responded, "Tootie, I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

Tears came to Tootie's eyes then, and Blair immediately wrapped her arms around Tootie while she cried happy, relieved tears. To put it mildly, Blair's offer took an unbelievable load off her mind.

Once Tootie settled down a couple of moments later and their embrace ended, she told Blair, "This is the most amazing thing anybody's ever done for me. I…Blair, there are no words…I…."

"It's okay, Tootie. You don't have to say anything. Iwantto do this. Believe me."

"Thank you, Blair. Thank you so much. This means everything to me." Blair looked up at Tootie and smiled, and then she rose to her feet and took a seat on Jo's bed next to Natalie. In that next moment, Tootie said, "Wait 'til I tell Mrs. Garrett! Blair buying a house here in Peekskill and adopting my baby and becoming a stay-at-home mom at the end of the school year! She'll really flip!" Blair, Natalie, and Jo all shared a knowing look of concern then, and Tootie asked, "What's the matter, guys? Don't you think we ought to tell Mrs. Garrett? I mean, she's a member of this family, too. Shouldn't she know what's going on?"

"Of course she's family, Tootie, and we all love her very much," said Blair. "But I'd much rather she didn't know about all of this just yet. I know that we're going to have to tell her about it eventually, but I want to wait a while first."

"Why?" Tootie asked.

"Because if I know Mrs. Garrett like I think I do, she'll only lecture me about how I shouldn't postpone going to college and how I'm too young to be a parent, and I just really don't feel like going through all that with her. Not yet. I think it's best if we wait until your parents and my parents have gotten this whole thing worked out legally and I've already bought my new house here in Peekskill. That way, even if she doesn't agree with what I'm doing, it'll be too late for her to give me a hard time about it. It'll already be said and done."

"I didn't think about that, but I guess you're right. Mrs. Garrett probably would try to lecture you," Tootie agreed.

"Exactly," Jo concurred. "And Blair doesn't need that right now, Tootie. Neither do you. This is the right thing to do. We all know that."

"I think we can all agree that this is one thing we actuallydon'tneed Mrs. Garrett's advice about," said Natalie. "It's as plain as day that this is what's best for you and your baby, Tootie, and we don't need Mrs. Garrett's approval for us to know that. You and Blair don't need her approval for this, although I'm sure at least part of Mrs. Garrett would probablythinkthat you do. This is one time in our lives where wedon'tneed Mrs. Garrett to try to talk us into or out of something. We actuallydon'tneed her butting into our private lives this time around. I love Mrs. Garrett, but this decision between you and Blair is a private, personal decision that's really none of her business. You and Blair know what you're doing. You both know that this is the right thing, regardless of what Mrs. Garrett thinks. And you're going to have Jo and me to support you all the way through all these big changes that are going to be happening in your lives."

"Yeah, I know you will be," said Tootie. "And it's true that I always love sharing things with Mrs. Garrett and talking to her about stuff, but I guess sometimes we all tend to butt into each other's private lives a little too often around here. We're always so used to telling each other about everything that I guess I forget that there are times when we really do need a little privacy. And anyway, this is my baby's life and my life and your life, Blair, that we're talking about, andnotMrs. Garrett's. If you feel that you can be happy being a stay-at-home mom to my baby after you graduate from Eastland, then that's your business and my business, not hers. She really doesn't have any right to say anything about it."

"I agree, Tootie," Blair said seriously. "And again, that's why I want us to keep this to ourselves for a little while, because I'm sure there's a better-than-average chance that she won't agree with what I'm trying to do, and if she doesn't, you know as well as I do that she won't let it rest. And I don't think getting into a big conflict with Mrs. Garrett is good for either one of us right now, or for the baby."

"I'll say!" Tootie cried out. "I've already been through enough conflicts with my own mom and dad back home to last me a lifetime! I don't need to go through more of the same with Mrs. Garrett."

"Then we're all agreed. We won't say a word about this to Mrs. Garrett or to anybody else until Blair's folks and Tootie's folks have gotten all the legal stuff taken care of and Blair's bought her own house. Right?" said Jo.

"Right," Tootie agreed.

"Right," said Blair.

"Right," Natalie concurred.

"Well Blair, I just want to thank you. I know I already said thank you, but I wanted to say it again. Knowing that I don't have to worry about what's going to happen to my baby anymore…that's the most wonderful Christmas present I could have ever hoped for."

Blair smiled and said, "You're more than welcome, Tootie." In the next moment, the girls stood up and hugged each other once again.

While Tootie was overjoyed with the early Christmas present she received from Blair, when she went home for Christmas break a few days later, the mood was far more somber. She received plenty of Christmas gifts from her parents, but no material possessions they could have given her could have made up for what they had previously put her through, especially her mother. And to make matters even worse, Tootie knew that something had gone badly wrong between her parents. The typical chemistry the couple had always shared between them was no longer there. Instead, there was nothing but unspoken anger and resentment; the tension in the air was so thick, a person could cut it with a knife. Suffice it to say, when Tootie left D.C. and returned to Peekskill after the New Year, it was an immense relief to her to be away from the terrible atmosphere at home. Unlike a lot of girls at Eastland who hadn't wanted their Christmas and New Year's vacation to end, Tootie was more than happy to be back at school to begin the spring semester and be with her friends again.

Unbeknownst to Tootie, Harrison had been living in a hotel room for a little while and he only came back home for her sake, so that he could spend the Christmas holidays with her while she was back from school. He and his wife tried to keep up appearances for Tootie's sake so she wouldn't suspect there was something wrong, but if they'd fooled anybody into thinking that everything was okay between them, it was only themselves, not Tootie. After Tootie returned to school in the beginning of January, Harrison went right back to a hotel room.

Things stayed like that between the couple for a few more weeks, until Harrison finally couldn't stand it any longer. He knew he couldn't allow things to stay that way between Diane and himself, and he knew some decisions would have to be made about their family situation once and for all. Harrison had needed these past few weeks off to himself to do some soul-searching and be sure that this was the right thing, and now, he was beyond certain that it was.

It was the first of February when Diane Ramsey came home from work at eleven-thirty at night and found her husband sitting on their living room sofa waiting for her.

"Harrison," she said in surprise. "I wasn't expecting to see you again after you left work a few hours ago." Then she set her purse down on the coffee table asked him, "What are you doing here tonight?"

Harrison stood up to face her then, and he shrugged and replied, "I was waiting to have a word with my wife."

"I see. Do you want anything to drink before we talk?"

He shook his head and answered, "No, thanks. I just want to talk."

Diane folded her arms across her chest and told him, "Be my guest. What do you want to talk about?"

"You. Me. Us. Our daughter. Our grandchild. Our family."

Diane let out a frustrated sigh and asked, "Can't this wait until in the morning? It's a little late."

Harrison shook his head again and responded, "No, this can't wait, Diane. I think this has waited long enough as it is."

"Alright, Harrison. What is it? What is there left to talk about? What do you want to say?"

"I left home a few weeks ago because I needed to be sure."

"Sure about what?"

"About how I feel about moving to Peekskill."

Diane scoffed and said, "Oh. That crazy idea again."

"Maybeyouthink it's crazy, Diane, butIdon't. I need to start truly being a father to at leastoneof my children before it's too late, and you can'treallybe a parent to a child from hundreds of miles away. We can call Tootie and write to her all the time, which we do, but true parenting isnotsomething that can be done long-distance. I need to start being there for my daughter. I need to start actuallyseeingher every day again like a parent is supposed to. But I didn't want to just pack my bags and leave without you. I want us to do this together. I want Tootie to be inbothof our lives again on a daily basis. Don'tyouwant that?"

Diane let out another uncomfortable sigh, and then she told him, "I don't think I can, Harrison. At least not now. Not while she's carrying that rapist's baby."

"Oh, Diane, will youplease stopwith this whole 'Tootie is carrying Earl Brown's baby' crap?! Tootie doesn't see it as Earl Brown's baby. She sees it asherbaby, and frankly, so do I. I don't think of this baby as Earl Brown's baby. I think of it as my grandchild. Why do you want to punish an innocent baby because of its biological father? The baby had no control over how it was conceived. Tootie's baby didn't have anything to do with any of this. It's completely innocent. It's just ababyfor heaven's sake! A helpless little baby who needs and deserves love regardless of how it was conceived."

Diane couldn't bring herself to say anything at first, as a small tear came to her eye which she immediately wiped away with her hand.

After a long moment of silence, Harrison looked into his wife's eyes and pointedly asked her, "Why do you hate this baby, Diane? Why do you hate your own grandchild with such venom?"

At long last,finallybeing completely honest with her husband and herself, she tearfully replied, "Because it's a reminder."

"A reminder of what?"

"Of our mistake!Harrison, don't you get it?! Don't you understand that what happened to Tootie wasourfault just as much as it was Earl Brown's?! Tootie had no idea about the claims Elaine was making about him,but we did.We knew, Harrison!We knew! We knewthere was a tiny possibility that Elaine Brown was telling the truth, no matter how miniscule we thought that possibility was. We couldn't imagine it because we grew up with Earl and he'd always been family to us. But did we act like responsible parents in theleastlittle way? No. Why? Because we were blinded by our own arrogance. We blindly believed that we were such brilliant lawyers who knew how to read people. There was no waywecould be friends with a domestic abuser! There was no waywecouldeverbe stupid enough to allow a rapist into our lives! There wasno wayour judgment could ever be that clouded! But it was. We didn't thinkwecould ever be so wrong about something, but we were. And now Tootie is going to pay forour arroganceevery day for the rest of her life. And that baby she's carrying? That baby is going to be nothing but a living, breathing reminder of the fact that our daughter got rapedbecause of us.And I don't wantanyreminders of that in my life! If you feel you can love this baby, then fine. If you feel you can have it in your life, then fine. But I can't, Harrison. I just can't."

"Oh, Diane," Harrison sighed. "I understand what you're saying, and you're right. Wewerearrogant. We weresoarrogant about our own judgment, in fact, that as parents, we were downright careless. And you're right that it'sTootiewho's paying for our mistake, not us. But don't you see? That'spreciselywhy we owe it to her to start making changes in our lives; to start beingrealparents to her again. There's nothing we can do about the past, Diane. But you and I can make up our minds, right here, right now, that we are going to doeverythingwe possibly can to make this up to her and start being the kind of parents she deserves. Come with me to Peekskill, Diane," he pleaded. "Let's move to New York and be with our daughter. Let's help her through the rest of her pregnancy. Let's make a new start. Let's be a family again."

"I'm sorry, Harrison," Diane said in a low, emotional tone, and then she shook her head. "I know nobody's going to be giving me any Mother of the Year awards. I know that I'm just as guilty as you are of putting my career before God and our children. I know how selfish I've been. But it is crazy to want to close our law firm and pick up and start all over again in a new place at our age; we're not in our twenties anymore. I do understand why you want to do it, though, even if it is crazy. And I guess if moving to Peekskill is something you have to do, then by all means, move to Peekskill. But I can't. I can't be around our pregnant daughter, and I can't be around this baby after it's born. I just can't handle it."

Harrison held Diane's gaze with his own for about the next minute or so, until finally, he threw his arms around her and gave her a big, long kiss. Then they just held each other and cried for the longest time.

At long last, they let go of each other, and Diane then asked her husband, "What do you want to do now? I know you'll be moving to Peekskill while I'll be staying here. Do you want to just stay separated or do you want to file for a divorce?"

Harrison shook his head and told her, "I stood before God and I promised Him that I would stay married to you for the rest of my life. I have no intention of ever breaking that promise." Diane wiped her eyes then and nodded. "I'll call and make plane reservations and hotel reservations tomorrow morning. I'll try and catch a flight to New York sometime tomorrow and then I'll start looking for a job."

"You're an incredible lawyer, Harrison. Any law firm in Manhattan will be tripping over themselves trying to get their hands on you," Diane said kindly.

"Hopefully I won't be job-hunting for too long," he said modestly, although he knew in the back of his mind that his wife was probably right. He did have a remarkably distinguished career as an attorney, and that was not by accident. He truly had busted his rear for many years to get where he was in law today. "After I've gotten a job, I'll be looking for my own place in Peekskill." Again, Diane nodded, and then Harrison put his index finger under her chin and tenderly lifted her face up to his. In the next moment, he said to her, "As soon as I know my new address, I'll let you know. And I want you to know that the door's always open anytime if you change your mind."

"I appreciate that, but I don't think that's going to happen. At least not now."

They stood there completely silent for about another minute or so, and then Harrison gave Diane another kiss and whispered, "I love you and I always will."

Diane had to wipe more tears from her eyes before telling him, "I love you too, Harrison."

Harrison stood there for the longest time, reluctant to walk out, but he knew he had to do it regardless of how painful it was. At long last, he forced himself to leave. All through her life, Diane Ramsey had never feared change; she'd always been strong enough to face good and bad changes head on, but nothing could have prepared her for a change like this.

Chapter 6: New Priorities

Chapter Text

Chapter 6: New Priorities

Several days after Harrison came to New York, he went to Eastland to pay Tootie a visit. It was a Saturday afternoon and he talked with his daughter in the lounge while Mrs. Garrett, Blair, and Natalie stayed in the kitchen. (Jo was out at lunch with her new boyfriend, a new mechanic at Mr. Garroll's garage named Paul Johnston.)

"So Dad, what are you doing here?" Tootie asked after they had sat down on the loveseat together. Tootie was now over six months pregnant and even though she was wearing an oversized blue blouse that came all the way down to her knees and a comfortable pair of jeans, the blouse wasn't enough to hide her growing stomach.

"Tootie, I have some things I need to talk to you about. Your mother and I probably should have told you what was going on a long time ago, but we wanted to protect you. We can't protect you from this any longer, though."

"Uh oh. This sounds bad. What is it? What's going on?"

"I'm sure you noticed when you were home during Christmas vacation that things just aren't the same between your mother and me."

"I'd have to be blind not to see it. There was so much tension between you guys. It's never been like that before."

"I know. We've been having problems for a long time now."

"Oh, God," Tootie said with dread. "Dad, please don't tell me you and Mom are getting a divorce."

"No, no, Tootie. Of course not," he quickly reassured her, and she let out a sigh of relief. "But we've recently decided that some changes have got to be made."

"What kind of changes?"

"Your mother and I are getting a legal separation. She's going to be staying home in D.C., taking care of the practice, and I'm going to be living here in New York for a while."

"A separation?" Tootie said in disbelief. "Wow, Dad. I don't know what to say. I know this kind of thing happens in a lot of other families, but I never thought it would happen to us. I'm worried."

"Worried about what, sweetheart?"

"Dad, whenever a couple says they're getting a separation, that's always the first step towards divorce. I'm scared it'll only be a matter of time before you and Mom break up with each other."

"Tootie, listen to me. That isnotgoing to happen. Your mother and I have just reached a point where we need to take a break for a while; that's all. But our love for each other and our commitment to each other are two things that have not changed. I promise you that."

Tootie, deep in thought, simply nodded. Then after a couple of silent moments, she asked, "So where are you going to be living?"

"Right here in Peekskill. I've missed you, Tootie. I've missed you so much since your mother and I first sent you here to Eastland a few years ago. I want to be in your life again. I want to see you every day. With your mother and me living in Washington, D.C. and you here at school nine months out of the year, and then you being away at camp during the summer, I've hardly seen you at all the past three years. I want that to change. I just got hired yesterday by the Benson Law Firm in New York City. Now I have to find a house here in Peekskill. I figure I'll commute by train to the city every day and be home in the evenings. Once you've helped Mrs. Garrett and the girls clean up after supper, you can come home and you and I can spend our evenings together."

"I'd love that."

Harrison smiled and kissed his daughter on the cheek, and then he said, "Good. That's settled."

"Do you think it'll take long for you to find a house?"

"I don't think so. I'm a pretty straightforward kind of guy. I know what I want. I want something with at least three bedrooms, maybe four, and you know I'll need a study; I'll definitely need a place to put all my law books," he said with a chuckle.

"Why so many bedrooms, though? It'll just be you and me."

"Well, I was thinking it would be nice to have a guest room…and possibly a nursery."

"A nursery?"

"I know that we've entered into an agreement with your friend about her adopting the baby, but now that I'm going to be living on my own here in Peekskill, I wanted you to have the option to keep the baby if you wanted to."

"But what about Mom? You know she hates the baby."

Harrison was truly taken aback by Tootie's statement in that moment as it dawned on him that Tootie might have heard what her mother had said (or rather,yelled) during their big fight they had the day they all found out Tootie was pregnant. "Tootie, your mother doesn't hate the baby," he told her, although it was obvious he didn't even believe the words himself.

"Oh please, Dad. She does too. I heard her say it myself. I think the wholeneighborhoodheard her say it that day you guys were fighting."

"I think that more than anything, she just hates the fact that you were raped, and I think that even though she knows it's wrong, she's taking her anger out on the baby. I know that you've been through more than anyone; that you'restillgoing through more than anyone, including your mother and me, but still, what has happened to you has also affected us very deeply. Your mother loves you, and she is absolutely devastated over what you've been through. I know that what she said about hating the baby was a cruel thing for her to say and I know she was wrong to say that. I know that must have really hurt you."

Tootie looked into his eyes then and told him seriously, "Dad, you have no idea."

"It was inexcusable. There's no denying that. I know. It's just that your mother's been in so much pain and many times, when your mother's in pain, she lashes out because she doesn't know what else to do. Please believe me, Tootie; thelastthing your mother ever meant or wanted to do was to hurt you. I know it's hard, and I know it's not fair, buttryto be patient with her. Try to forgive her."

"I think I'm going to need a little more time on that one," Tootie said quietly, and Harrison nodded.

"I understand."

"As for me keeping the baby, I appreciate the offer, but I don't want to back out of our arrangement with Blair. But speaking of the adoption, I just want to say that with all due respect, I really don't appreciate the way you and Mom just shoved this whole adoption thing down my throat. I know that I'm way too young to take care of a baby. I know there's no way I can be a mother at fourteen, and I know giving it to Blair is the best thing for it. I'm grateful she's adopting it. But still, you and Mom should have letmecome to that conclusion on my own without forcing it on me the way you did."

"I know, baby. I know," Harrison sighed. "You're right. Your mother was just being so impossible about the whole thing and I didn't want to listen to all her ranting and raving anymore. I just wanted a little peace. But I know I was wrong to give in to her. I know I should have stood my ground and insisted that we allow you to come to your own conclusions about this without trying to shove anything down your throat, as you put it. I'm terribly sorry, Tootie."

After staying silent for a brief moment, Tootie told him, "Apology accepted."

"I think we should have a nursery in our house anyway. Even though you won't be keeping the baby, Blair has made it clear that she's going to let you see it anytime you want, so there will be times when we'll have the baby over at our home."

Tootie nodded, and then she looked over at her father and smiled. "That's a good idea, Dad," she told him. "I'm really happy the baby's still going to be a part of my life, even though I can't be its mother."

"The babyshouldbe in our lives, Tootie. It's family."

Tootie stayed silent for another couple of moments as she got lost in thought, and then she told her father, "Maybe one day, Mom will see it that way."

"That's what I'm praying for."

Tootie talked with her dad for several more minutes, and then after a long hug and kiss on the cheek, he left.

After he'd gone, Tootie walked into the kitchen where Mrs. G., Nat, and Blair were still hanging out, and she let out a tired sigh.

"What's the matter, Tootie?" asked Natalie. "Looks like you and your dad must've had a pretty heavy conversation."

"The heaviest," Tootie responded. "My parents are getting a legal separation. Dad says that he and Mom need to 'take a break.' Mom's staying back home in Washington, D.C. to run their law practice, and Dad just got a job at another law firm in Manhattan. He's planning on getting a house here in Peekskill and commuting to the city by train every day. And he wants me to move in with him so I can see him every evening after my classes are over."

Blair lovingly wrapped her arm around Tootie's shoulders and said, "I'm sorry, Tootie. I really am. I'm happy for you that you'll get to see your father more often, but that's terrible news about your parents. I know from experience how painful it is when your parents get divorced."

"Blair, nobody said anything about divorce," Mrs. Garrett cautioned.

"Yeah, Blair. Tootie's parents are just taking a break. That's all," Natalie chimed in.

"Call it what you will, you guys, but the cold, hard fact is, Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey have taken the first step down Break-Up Boulevard. I've seen it so many times with all my mother's and father's broken marriages. First comes separation. Then maybe a year or so later, they're filing for divorce. It happens like that every time."

"Noteverytime, Blair. Sometimes all husbands and wives really need is a little time apart; a little time to themselves. It's true that separations sometimes do end in divorce, but that isn't always the case," Mrs. Garrett insisted.

"I don't know what all of this is going to mean for my family," Tootie said quietly. "There was a time when I used to think that it would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me if my parents got divorced. But after all I've already been through, that way of thinking seems pretty silly now."

Tootie's words really got to all their hearts; they were so heartbroken because of everything she'd been through that they couldn't bring themselves to say a word, so they simply remained silent for several long moments.

Finally, Mrs. G. broke the silence and said, "Tootie, I'm sure everything is going to be alright with your parents."

Tootie shook her head and told her, "I'm not worrying about it, Mrs. Garrett. I am happy that I'll be living with my dad again and that I'll be seeing him more often. Of course I'm scared of the possibility that they'll eventually get divorced. I was really afraid at first that that was what Dad had come here to tell me. But I have just officially made up my mind that I amnotgoing to allow myself to worry about it. It's my parents' lives, not mine, and it's between them and God if they want to end things or not. I'm not wasting any energy getting all upset or anxious over it. I've got to focus all my energy on bringing this little one into the world safe and sound," Tootie said as she held her round stomach. "My parents can do whatever they want," she told them then, and in the following moment, she went upstairs to their room.

"Way to go, Blair!" Natalie snapped.

"What didIdo?" Blair asked defensively.

"Break-Up Boulevard?Blair, could youpossiblyhave been more insensitive?!"

"I wasn't being insensitive, Natalie. I was being honest. I was telling it like it was. And with all due respect, Mrs. Garrett, you really shouldn't try to fill Tootie's head with fairy tales of her parents getting back together. It isn't wise to encourage her to get her hopes up like that, only to have them crushed later on. It'll be a lot less painful for her if she starts accepting the truth about what's going to happen to her parents now rather than later. It's better if she starts preparing herself inside for the worst so that when the blow comes, it'll be a little easier for her to take it. Believe me;I know."

Mrs. Garrett put her hands on Blair's upper arms, looked kindly into her eyes, and told her, "I know you've been through a lot, Blair. I know all the family divorces you've endured through the years haven't been easy for you. But every marriage is different. Your parents' marriages may not have worked out, but that doesn't necessarily mean that Tootie's parents are going to end up getting divorced. We never really know what's in store for us in this world. It's okay to let Tootie hope for the best."

"I suppose there's no harm in Tootie hoping for the best, but I still stand by what I said a moment ago: she shouldalsobe prepared for the worst so it won't hurt as badly if the worst does happen."

"Well right now, I think it's best if we just put this whole thing aside for a while," said Mrs. G. "I think Tootie was absolutely right when she said that she needed to just let her parents deal with this while she focuses on taking care of herself and her baby."

Blair nodded and said, "I see your point. Maybe I was a little insensitive, even if I didn't mean to be. I guess I should go upstairs and apologize to Tootie."

Mrs. Garrett patted her arms and gave her an encouraging nod, and then Blair went up to their room to speak with Tootie.

A while later after Blair apologized to Tootie and they had a nice little talk, Jo came back from her job at the garage to help everybody set up for supper. Shortly before they got started cooking, though, the girls and Mrs. G. got into a friendly little discussion while sitting around in the cafeteria.

"So Jo, how was your lunch date with Paul today?" asked Natalie.

"It was great," Jo said with a big smile. "You know, for a mechanic, he is surprisingly deep. We wolfed down our lunch and spent most of our lunch break discussing that book I'm reading in class,The Great Gatsby. We also got to talkin' about that book Gail's so crazy about that she keeps tryin' to get me to read,The Grapes of Wrath."

"I still can't get over you calling our English teacherGail," Natalie told Jo. "I can't believe that. I can't imagine being close enough to a teacher to actually be on a first-name basis with her. That's freaky. It goes against the laws of nature."

Jo shook her head and said, "It's no big deal, Natalie. We're friends."

"We're also friends with Mrs. Garrett but we don't go around calling her Edna, so I still say that you calling our English teacher by her first name is just plain weird," Nat argued.

"Well Natalie, it's really more of an unwritten school rule than anything else," Mrs. Garrett explained. "Jo doesn't address Miss Gallagher as Gail unless they're off campus. If I weren't a member of the Eastland faculty, I wouldn't have any problems with you girls calling me Edna."

"Youwouldn't?" Natalie said in pure disbelief.

Mrs. Garrett laughed and said, "Of course not. Hey, I'm hip."

"Can we call you Edna when we're away from campus?" Natalie inquired with a big, curious smile.

"I don't see why not," Edna answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Well anyway, Jo, I think it's terrific that you've landed yourself a deep mechanic for a boyfriend. Paul really sounds perfect for you," said Tootie. "And speaking of dating, I still can't get over the decision you've made, Blair."

"What decision?" asked Edna.

"To use my father's expression, Blair decided a few weeks ago that she is officially 'taking a break' from the dating world," Tootie answered.

"What?!" Mrs. Garrett cried out, unable to believe her ears. "But Blair, I thought you were still seeing Andrew, that senior from Bates."

"Oh, that's been over forever now, Mrs. G.," Jo informed her.

"But you still go out with him every Saturday afternoon," Edna pointed out, although Blair hadn't gone out with him today for the first time in quite a while.

"Yes, we do go out every Saturday, but just to the library, and just as friends. He's really struggling in his art history class. We only go to the library to study. That's all," Blair explained.

"Let me see if I get this straight:youhaven't been datinganyone?Forweeks?" Edna asked incredulously.

"That's right," Blair confirmed.

"Amazingly enough, Blair Warner has officially decided that there are more important things in life than dating and boyfriends," said Nat.

Mrs. Garrett jokingly put her hand on Blair's forehead then and asked, "Are you feeling alright?"

The girls all laughed, and then Blair said, "I'm fine, Mrs. Garrett. I just realized a few weeks ago that I really do spend a ridiculous amount of time in my life trying to get a new boyfriend or juggle two boyfriends – or three boyfriends – at the same time. I'm tired of dedicating so much of my life to just boys and dates and playing the field. I could be putting all that time to much better use."

"I wish I could dedicate as much of my life to boys and dates and playing the field as you used to, Blair," Natalie quipped.

"Don't we all?" Tootie agreed.

"Blair, what brought this on?" Mrs. G. inquired.

After a pause, Blair replied, "It's a long story, Mrs. Garrett. Let's just say that over the past several weeks, my priorities have really changed. I've got much more important things to think about in my life right now."

In that second, Jo could see that Mrs. Garrett was about to start doing some serious digging to try and get to the truth. What Tootie had blurted out without thinking was enough of a clue to Mrs. Garrett to let her know that something very unusual was going on in one of her girls' lives. It was enough to instantly transform her into a bloodhound who had gotten a scent and was hot on the trail. Jo knew she couldn't let Mrs. G. do too much digging around or else, she'd eventually get the truth out of Blair, Natalie, and Tootie, so she quickly got Mrs. Garrett's mind on something else.

"Uh, Mrs. G., I think it's about time we started setting up for supper now," Jo suggested.

Mrs. Garrett looked at her watch and said, "Yeah, you're right. Come on, girls. Let's head for the kitchen and get started."

The girls agreed, and then they followed Mrs. Garrett into the kitchen and got started on supper that night.

After they were done cleaning up a little while later, Blair announced that she was going to Alison's to visit her and her twenty-one-month-old daughter Emily that evening, and she took off.

Ever since Alison had come to Eastland for a visit fifteen months earlier – and had taken off to Cooper's Rockwithouther baby after becoming overwhelmed with the responsibilities of motherhood – Blair had made it a point to go and visit her and Baby Emily frequently. She'd usually gone to see them and go places with them a few times a month, but ever since she decided to adopt Tootie's baby, she was practically living over at their house. Blair wanted to spend a lot of time observing Alison with Emily and babysitting Emily so that she could gain as much experience with a baby as possible before Tootie's baby arrived. Shortly after Blair made up her mind to adopt Tootie's baby, she went to Alison's house and had a heart-to-heart with her old classmate and friend, asking for her advice and her point of view as a young mother, herself. As Blair walked up the porch steps of Alison's house that evening and rang the doorbell, she fondly looked back on their deep discussion.

"Well Blair, I know there's all kinds of advice floating around out there. People are never afraid to share their opinions about child-rearing," Alison told her one Sunday afternoon as they sat down together with a cup of hot chocolate in front of her roaring fireplace. "But from my standpoint, I think the most important lesson I ever learned about motherhood happened a few weeks after I walked out and left Emily with you girls and Mrs. Garrett."

"What happened?" asked Blair.

"My grandmother happened. I knew when Grandma found out about what I did, she was pretty disappointed in me, but I honestly had no idea howfuriousshe was with me on the inside. She did something to me that seemed unforgivably cruel to me at the time, but now I realize that as painful as it was, it was necessary. Grandma may have been harsh, but she taught me an incredibly important lesson about what itreallymeans to be a mother."

"What did your grandmother do?"

"One of David's sisters offered to babysit Emily so I could go to town and do a little shopping one day. Unbeknownst to me, while I was out, my grandmother came to the house and she told David's sister that she'd take care of Emily, so she left. Then Grandma took Emily out to her old cabin where she goes on vacations and camping trips occasionally. She never got in touch with me to let me know. She never called David to inform him. She never let anybody in the family know where she had taken Emily. When I got home, my daughter was gone. There was no trace of her, and I had no idea where she was."

"Didn't David's sister tell you your grandmother had come to the house?"

Alison shook her head and explained, "After David's sister left the house, she went out of town with some of her friends and we weren't able to get in touch with them for quite a while. I think they went mountain climbing or something."

"Oh."

"Anyway, like I said, David's sister never got in touch with us. We weren't able to track her down. We called all the rest of the family. Nobody knew where Emily was. I tried to get in touch with Grandma at her house but there wasn't any answer. It wasn't until over a day later that it finally dawned on me to try calling Grandma at her cabin and when I did, sure enough, she answered and told me she had taken Emily there.

"When I went to go get Emily, that's when all hell broke loose between Grandma and me. You have absolutely no idea what it did to me all that time that Emily was gone."

"I can only imagine," Blair said sympathetically.

"I was never more terrified in my life than I was during that time I thought Emily was missing. I justknewsomething had happened to my baby," Alison said as she wiped a tear from her eye, and Blair lovingly touched her friend's arm. "And when I finally found Emily at my grandmother's cabin, Grandma let me know that David's sister had told her that she was planning on leaving town with her friends. Grandmatold herto go ahead and leave early and that she'd stay with Emily until I got home. But, she left with my daughter and she never told me or David oranyonewhere she'd taken her. She put me through all of thaton purpose.Well, to put it mildly, Ireallywent ballistic. I yelled and screamed at my grandmother for the longest time. I just went through the roof."

"I'll bet you did. I know she's your grandmother, but still..."

"Well, Grandma just stood there, perfectly silent with her arms folded, while I yelled and yelled at her. She just let me get it all out of my system. Then when she finallydiddecide to speak, you know what she told me?"

"What did she tell you?"

"She said, 'I'll bet you don't think of Emily as a burden anymore.'"

"Think of Emily as a burden? What was she talking about?"

"You know that while my mother was born into a wealthy family, my father built up his own business from the bottom up and earned his own fortune. My grandmother wasn't rich all her life. She had to work very hard while she was raising my dad. She got married right out of high school and she gave birth to my father when she was only nineteen. While she was pregnant with my dad, my biological grandfather – her first husband – got killed in an accident on the job and she was all on her own with a baby on the way. And if that wasn't bad enough, this wasduringthe Great Depression."

"Wow."

"Wow, indeed. Both of her parents were dead and she didn't have any siblings, and my grandfather's parents were broke and unable to help. She managed to find a job working for a cheap motel. All through the rest of her pregnancy and Dad's childhood, she sometimes worked over ten hours a day. She did everything. She cooked. She cleaned. She washed windows. She scrubbed floors. And then after all that, she came back home and took care of a baby. She was lucky to get three or four hours of sleep a night. She is the toughest person I have ever known."

"She sure sounds like it."

"Well, she reminded me of that that day. She stood there and she reminded me of everything she went through to raise my father on her own during the Depression the way she did. Then she made me realize just how soft David and I have had it in comparison to her. David and I both come from wealthy families; we've never had to work for anything in our entire lives. We've always had everything we ever needed or wanted just handed to us on a silver platter without having to work for it. And when we made the stupid decision to fool around and we got ourselves into trouble, we never had to face any real-life consequences like a lot of teen parents do. We never had to struggle to take care of our daughter. Both our families came right to the rescue and gave us this condo, and David's parents are still sending him to college, then later to med school; they're still supporting us financially while David works on his degree and I stay home and take care of Emily. Compared to the way my poor grandmother struggled, I have had it so good and so easy, yet Istillwhined and complained like a spoiled brat because I actually had to put somebody else's needs in front of my own. Grandma told me that day how spoiled and ungrateful our generation is; how we have this ridiculous sense of entitlement and how we whine and complain like a bunch of two-year-olds about having to simply do the things that we as parents aresupposedto do for our kids. My grandmother worked her tail off all day long at that motel in the Great Depression and then she came home and took care of a crying, colicky baby all night long, and she did it allwithoutcomplaining. She didn't whine because she couldn't go to school dances anymore. She didn't whine because she didn't have time for kids' stuff anymore. She sucked it up, grew up, and did what she was supposed to do. She never complained or whined about what shedidn'thave. She got down on her knees and thanked God every night for what shedidhave. She thanked Jesus constantly for the fact that she had a healthy baby, and she thanked Him for the fact that she evenhada job in the first place so that shecouldtake care of him. Me? What didIdo? How didIrespond when I became a mother? I may have always taken good care of Emily before, but I never thanked God for her, and I never saw her as a blessing. I saw her as aburden, and Grandma knew that and she called me out on it.

"I was extremely hurt by what my grandmother did to me at first, and on top of that, I was downright furious at her. I grabbed Emily and I took her home that day, and I didn't even speak to Grandma again for months. But after a while, after Ireallythought about everything Grandma said to me, I eventually realized just how right she was. Like I said, I always loved my daughter, but it wasn't until Grandma made me think I'd lost her that I understood just how much she meant to me. It wasn't until I was terrified that I'd never see my daughter again that Itrulybegan to appreciate her. It wasn't until that point in my life that I learned to see my daughter as a blessing to thank God for and not as a burden that was keeping me from being a teenager. What Grandma put me throughwascruel, but it was alsonecessary. It taught me an extremely important lesson as a parent, and I guarantee you that no matter how 'hard' I may think being a stay-at-home mother is at times, I willneverwalk out on my daughter again whenever things get a little tough. Being a stay-at-home mother may be a frustrating job sometimes, but I know it can't evenbeginto compare to what Grandma had to go through taking care of Dad on her own in the Great Depression. Grandma rolled up her sleeves, got in there, and did what she had to do, and unlike me, she did itwithout whining or complaining or resentment.She really was right about our generation. We aresucha generation of spoiled whiners and complainers! We have it so much easier than so many of our grandparents did, but most of the time, we're too spoiled to really appreciate everything we have."

"I never really thought about that, but you're probably right. I can't say Iagreewith what your grandmother did, but I think I understand what she was trying to get across to you."

Alison chuckled a bit and said, "What she was trying to get across to me, Blair, was that I needed to grow up and stop whining like a spoiled teenage brat about how 'hard' I had it in my life. She was trying to tell me that I needed to start appreciating everything I had that I'd been taking for granted – including Emily. Until Grandma took Emily away from me for a while, I always saw it as a burden in the back of my mind that I had to stay at home and take care of my daughter and put her needs before my needs and wants. Deep down, I resented it that Emily had to come first and that I couldn't finish high school and college. There was always that part of me that saw being a mom as a burden, not a blessing. But after Grandma screwed my head on straight for me, I realized that when she was working so hard during the Great Depression and struggling to take care of my dad, she would have givenanythingto be in my position. It would have meant a lot to her to be able to stay at home with my dad and not have to scrape by as a single parent. I realize now what a gift it is that I have David and that we're financially set for life and that I can be at home with Emily without having to scrape by the way Grandma had to.

"Anyway, I guess in the end, the best piece of advice I can give you about adopting Tootie's baby is two words:be sure.Be absolutely, one hundred percent certain that becoming a stay-at-home mother is what you want to do with your life right now; that you don't haveanyproblems whatsoever with postponing college. There cannot be the tiniest trace of doubt because this is a commitment like no other. In some ways, it's an even bigger commitment than marriage. As you well know, marriages can end in divorce. But no matter what, your child is always your child for the rest of your life. If you're really going to do this, then you have to understand that no matter what, your childalwayshas to come first, and no matter how hard it gets, youdo nothave the option of resenting your child or walking away from your child. Once you're in this thing, you have to be in it all the way, and you have to be in it for life. You won't have time for juggling boyfriends or dating or going to dances and parties anymore. As much as you love your social life, you'll barely have time for one at all once you're taking care of an infant. You won't have time to be a teenager anymore. And you have to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you're ready and willing to accept this responsibility; that youwantto accept this responsibility. If there's even the smallest part of you inside that doesn't want this, you'll end up resenting Tootie's baby and that'll affect how you treat it. You'll think of it as a burden and not a blessing, and the baby will eventually pick up on that, and in the end, it'll be the baby who suffers."

Blair nodded and told her, "I get what you're saying. I won't lie; I am scared. I'm really scared about this. I'm so afraid that I'll make a big, terrible mistake as a parent that'll really hurt my child in the long run. But no matter how afraid I am, I don't have any second thoughts about going into this.I dowant to be a mother;a good mother.I had always planned on going to college, being an art major, and starting a career as a professional painter someday. But no matter how important it's been to me all my life to have a career in the arts, it's always been evenmoreimportant to me to have a family of my own, where I'm able to give my child all the things that I never got. I know that I have more money and material possessions than most people can ever dream of, but there are much more important things in life that I always needed from my parents that they were never able to give me."

"Such as?"

"Quality time together. Their full, complete, undivided attention. Being a higher priority in their lives than their business or their love life. Stability. Maturity. I mean, I'm sorry, but with all due respect to my mother, whenever she and Daddy were having marital problems,Iwas alwayshertherapist, even from the earliest of ages. It's really quite ridiculous. I should never have had to be my own mother's psychologist when I was just a little kid. It washerjob to be the adult. It washerjob to be there forme, notthe other way around. Don't get me wrong. I really do love my parents, but there are so many things they never gave me that I desperately needed, and that's left quite a hole in my heart. I…gee, I can't believe I'm actually talking about this. This is one of those really deep, painful things that I don't usually like to let myself think about, much less bring out in the open."

"It's probably good for you that you're actually talking about it and getting it out," Alison told her.

"Maybe. But anyway, the point is, if I can have the opportunity to be the kind of parent to a child in need that I was never able to have myself, that would mean more to me than anything. Nothing would make me happier than being able to be there every time my child needed me or wanted me. Nothing would make me happier than getting to be there for every recital and every school debate and every science fair. Absolutely nothing could compare to it. I've recently realized throughout all of this that however much I want to have an art career, I want to be a full-time mother even more."

"Well if that is honestly how you feel, then I'd say go for it. As long as there aren't any traces of doubt lurking around in your heart that might turn into resentment later on, then based on everything I just heard you say, it sounds like you're ready – or at least as 'ready' as any future parent can possibly be, anyway."

"But that's just it, Alison. I'mnotas ready as any future parent can possibly be. Not yet. That's why I've come here to talk to you today. I need your help."

"I'm listening."

"I want to start coming around here more often from now on –a lotmore often. I know I've babysat Emily occasionally in the past, but now, I want to start babysitting her on a more regular basis. And I want to start coming around to visit more often, too. If you don't mind, I'd like to observe how you interact with Emily. I'm hoping that I'll pick up a few pointers if I watch you in action as a mother."

Alison chuckled a bit, and then she said, "Blair, after my track record, I'm hardly the poster-girl for parenting."

"That's not true. No parent is ever perfect, Alison, and you may have made some pretty big mistakes, but despite it all, you've really grown up. You've become a very good mother to Emily. I've seen you with her. You're terrific with your daughter."

"Well, thanks. I try my best. I'm certainly not the same selfish, immature little brat who ran out on her baby last year when things got a little difficult."

"No, you're not. And even if I do say so myself, I don't think I'm the same disrespectful brat I used to be when I first came to Eastland, either."

Alison shook her head and told her, "No, you're not. You are a very different person from the one I first met on the Eastland campus when we were both twelve. You have matureda lot."

Blair smiled and said, "Thank you."

"And in answer to your question, of course you can come around here and visit more often. You'd be more than welcome. And I would be more than happy for you to start babysitting Emily more often as well."

"Thanks, Ally-kins. I really appreciate this. I know I can't learn everything there is to know about taking care of a baby just by babysitting a few times a week and observing you with Emily, but I have to start somewhere. I believe the experience will do me at least a little bit of good before the baby comes."

"I'm sure it will, and you're very welcome, Blairy-pie," Alison said kindly, and then Blair reached over and gave her a hug.

A couple of moments after Blair had walked up to the door and rung the doorbell, Alison answered it with Emily on her hip.

"Blairy-pie!" Alison happily cried out, and then she gave her friend a halfway hug with her free arm.

"Ally-kins!" Blair said aloud while returning the hug.

"Bairy-pie!" little Emily called out, and both Alison and Blair had a hearty laugh at the adorable way Emily mispronounced Blair's name.

After Blair gave the blonde toddler a big kiss on her little cheek, they all went inside.

And while Blair was spending a lovely evening with Alison and Emily, back at Eastland, Mrs. Garrett was sitting alone on the loveseat in the lounge reading as Tootie came in and sat down beside her.

Once Tootie entered the lounge, Mrs. Garrett put her book down on the coffee table, wrapped her arm around Tootie's shoulders, and said, "Hey, hon. How are you two doing tonight?"

"We're okay, Mrs. Garrett," Tootie responded with a smile.

"I'm glad to hear that. It's so nice to see you smiling again, honey. I've been so worried about you."

"Yeah. It hasn't been easy. Itstillisn't. But I'm getting through it."

Mrs. Garrett stopped embracing Tootie then, and she put her index finger under her chin and gently tilted her face up so they were looking at each other eye-to-eye. In that moment, she told her, "Tootie Ramsey, you are an amazing young woman."

Tootie smiled and said, "Thanks, Mrs. Garrett. That's a very sweet thing to say."

Mrs. Garrett stopped tilting Tootie's face up then, and she shook her head and said, "It's not sweet, Tootie. It's true. You are aremarkableindividual, and I don't think I tell you that enough. When I was growing up, I was raised to be strong. I worked long and hard on my family's farm. It helped prepare me for when I went through hard times later on in my life. As you know, I went through a bad marriage, then a divorce. Then I had to take care of my two sons on my own. None of that was easy, but I don't think anything that's happened to me could evenbeginto compare to what you've been going through. I'm not sure I could do what you're doing, Tootie. I'm not sure I could handle going through this kind of a pregnancyknowingthat I'd have to give my baby up in the end. I'd never end my baby's life, of course, but I don't know that I'd be strong enough to go through with the adoption. I can't even imagine what it must be like for you. And watching you handle it all with such strength and courage and grace…I…Tootie, there are no words. I just want you to know that I am prouder of you than I have ever been in my life."

Again, Tootie smiled and told her softly, "Thank you. That really means everything to me."

"Like I said, it's just the truth," said Edna, and then she kissed Tootie on the cheek.

After getting lost in thought for a moment, Tootie said, "Boy, it's pretty unbelievable how different things are now than they were during the last school year, isn't it?"

"It's like night and day," Edna mused.

"Something like this…it really makes a person grow up, you know? It really makes you think about things."

"I would imagine so. What have you been thinking about, Tootie?"

"Here lately, I've really been thinking about how ridiculous I acted last year. I was so stupid. Well, notallthe time, but there were times when I really was an idiot and my priorities were so out of whack, it was ridiculous."

"What are you talking about?"

"Like the time when we all got back from summer vacation and Blair had secretly brought two bottles of wine with her. The girls left me out of their little secret party, and I was so hurt and I just wanted to fit in with them so much that I was willing to do anything, even something as stupid as getting drunk. Then there was the time I made a complete fool out of myself over Jermaine Jackson. I thought being 'friends' with a celebrity like him was literally more important than anything else in my life. And I wanted to go to that dumb concert so badly that I acted like a spoiled three-year-old and cried and screamed and yelled; I even disrespected you and disobeyed you. And I know I never told you this, but for the record, I am really sorry about all that, by the way."

"Oh Tootie, there's no need to apologize for that one little incident. It was ages ago. It's water under the bridge," Mrs. Garrett assured her with a wave of her hands.

"Anyway, I get so embarrassed when I think about all of that now. I cannotbelievethat there was a time when a stupid concert or fitting in with my drinking friends was the most important thing in my life. I can't believe my priorities were honestly that messed up. I can't believe there was a time in my life when I was that stupid. Now, I've wised up. Now, I know thatnothingis more important than making sure my baby is okay. My biggest priorities in life are finally things that really matter."

"Well Tootie, first off, don't youeversay to me that you're stupid. You arenotstupid and you never were. What youwerewas a thirteen-year-old girl. You were achildlast year, plain and simple, and as one would expect with a child, you had a child's priorities. This year, after all the growing and maturing you've done, you have more of an adult's priorities. It's no secret that you have grown up tremendously since you were assaulted; you've grown up far more than any fourteen-year-old should ever have to."

"Yeah, I guess you have a point. I see things so much differently now than I did before. I know I'm not the same person I was before all this happened."

"That's very true. As I said, you've matured so much. You've become so strong and courageous."

"If I'm really so 'strong and courageous,' then why am I still so scared all the time? I may have gotten over some of the fears I had since I was raped, but sometimes, when I'm walking alone down a dark hallway, or if I'm outside after dark, I still get so frightened. I still have nightmares. Even though Earl died in the ICU a couple of months ago and I know perfectly well he can't hurt me anymore, I still have nightmares of him attacking me all over again."

"Tootie, being courageous doesn't mean that you don't still feel fear. Being courageous means that you keep goingin spite ofyour fear; that you don't let it just paralyze you completely. And I'll tell you something else: you'llneverhave to worry about fitting in with the girls because of your age ever again. They havealltold me countless times over these past few months just how deeply they admire you. They're all just as amazed by you as I am. They've told me on more than one occasion how much they regret all the times they excluded you or made you feel bad because you were the youngest. They havealltold me time and again how much they respect you. I assure you, the girlsdo notthink of you as the youngest anymore. They recognize the fact that in all the ways that count, you're more grown-up than they are."

"They've really said all that to you?" Tootie asked incredulously.

"Many times," Edna replied. "And I know I said this earlier, but I'm going to say it again: you are anamazingyoung woman."

"Thanks, Mrs. Garrett," Tootie told her, and then she gave her another long hug.

Chapter 7: Gail's Concerns

Chapter Text

Chapter 7: Gail's Concerns

It was a Tuesday afternoon in late March when Tootie came into the lounge after class, kicked her shoes off, and propped her poor swollen feet up on the coffee table. She was almost thirty-three weeks along, with less than eight weeks to go until her due date in May, and she was nowreallystarting to feel the symptoms of late pregnancy. Her feet and her back were killing her and to state the obvious, she wasnotin the best of moods. As she sat there in her large pink blouse and jeans, leaning her head back and closing her eyes, she tried very hard to just put all of her discomfort out of her mind. (Obviously, the school had made an exception about the school uniform in Tootie's case and now, she was attending all of her classes in everyday clothes.)

A couple of moments later, though, the payphone rang, which only worsened Tootie's mood as she contemplated the possibility of having to get back up on her feet again. Mercifully, just as she was about to struggle to her swollen feet to answer it, Blair happily strolled into the lounge.

"I got it, Tootie," she told her, and then she picked up the phone.

Tootie soon realized a few seconds into the conversation that it was her father calling, but that he was calling specifically to speak to Blair, not her. It was clear that he was calling because he had news regarding the adoption.

Several minutes later, Blair hung up the phone and came around and sat down next to Tootie.

"Good news or bad news, Blair?" she asked.

Blair replied with a smile, "Good news, Tootie. Very good news. Your parents and my mother have gotten everything all worked out. The judge is going to approve the adoption. All that's left is for us to sign the papers once the baby's born."

"I'm so relieved. I was afraid my parents and your mom might not be able to work things out. Then I'd be right back to square one."

"Not to worry. It's all arranged," Blair assured her, and then Tootie looked at her and smiled for a long, silent moment. Afterwards, Blair asked, "Are you really sure about this, Tootie? You know I wouldn't blame you or have any hard feelings if you changed your mind. I couldn't blame you for having second thoughts. I can only imagine how hard this must be."

Tootie shook her head as she responded, "I'm not having second thoughts. In a way, it's hard, sure, but in another way, it really isn't. I mean, yeah, sure, I'll probably fall in love with the baby when it's born and want to hold it and bond with it and never let it go, but yet, I'm also really relieved to be giving it to you. Mrs. Garrett's told me that I've matured an awful lot since all of this happened to me, and I guess I have, but still, I know there's no way I can take care of a baby now. I am way too young to handle something like that and I know it. I love this baby more than I can say with words, but Idon'twant to be a mother right now. Ican'tbe a mother right now. And knowing that I'll be giving it to somebody like you, somebody I know and trust who really wants this baby and has the means to take care of it the way you do, makes this whole thing so much easier."

Blair smiled, squeezed Tootie's hand, and told her, "I'm so glad, Tootie. I never imagined that I'd become a mother at eighteen, but now, holding the baby in my arms, meeting it for the first time, bringing it home with me, singing it lullabies…that's all I can think about. Well, that and changing it several times in the middle of the night, mopping up drool, and dealing with temper tantrums." Tootie laughed at that, and then Blair added, "It sounds wonderful."

"Sounds like you've still been hanging around at Alison's a lot," Tootie observed.

"Absolutely. I am determined to try and go into this as prepared as humanly possible. I'm going to Alison's tonight to babysit Emily while Alison and David go out to eat, as a matter of fact."

Tootie shook her head and said, "I still can't believe you're spending all your free time babysitting instead of dating. You haven't been on a date in ages now. I can't get over it. You must really love this baby, Blair. Anytime Blair Warner gives up the dating world for somebody, that's true love!" Blair and Tootie laughed at that, and then a moment later, Tootie asked, "You're really excited about meeting the newest Warner, aren't you?"

"Of course I'm excited, Tootie. But since you brought the subject up, I just want to say that the baby doesn't necessarily have to have my last name. I'd understand if you wanted its last name to be Ramsey and not Warner."

Tootie shook her head and explained, "I've been thinking about that for a long time now. The truth is, Blair, even though I am carrying this baby and even though I will be giving birth to it in several weeks, Iwon'tbe the one raising it.You'llbe the one raising it.You'llbe the one caring for it and providing for it all the time.You'llbe its mother, not me. And if you're its mother, it's only right for the baby to have your last name."

Blair remined quiet for a minute or so, and then Tootie asked, "Is everything alright, Blair?"

Blair smiled and answered, "Everything's fine. It's just that it's only now beginning to sink in a little bit: I'm actually becoming a mother! I'm actually doing this. This isreallyhappening."

"Yeah, it is."

"I guess it's time for me to officially begin house-hunting now."

"Speaking of house-hunting, I hope Dad finishes his soon."

"He's still looking, isn't he?"

"Mm-hmm. He tried to tell me before that when it came to looking for a house, he was a pretty 'straightforward' kind of guy, but the truth is, he's really very picky. I think he's driving the poor real estate agent crazy."

"I'll bet I drive my real estate agent even crazier. I can't wait to start looking. It'll be such fun! I'll call my mother and her real estate agent, Mrs. Thomas, and set up a meeting for tomorrow afternoon after school. She's sold Mom several houses and penthouse apartments over the years. They're old friends. When she gets ready to start showing me places here in Peekskill, you should come along with me, Tootie."

"I appreciate the offer, but with the way I'm feeling nowadays, I don't want to goanywhere."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tootie. I guess I wasn't thinking. It's just that I figured you should have some input over the house I choose, too. I mean, I know you'll want to spend a lot of time over at my place with the baby. I was thinking you should have your own room so you can spend the night any time you want."

"That's so thoughtful, Blair," Tootie said with a smile. "I really appreciate that. But if there's one thing I know about you, it's that you have impeccable taste. I know that any house you choose will be beautiful, and so will my bedroom."

"Thanks, Tootie. The offer still stands, though, if you change your mind and decide you want to go out house-hunting with me."

"Thank you. Maybe I will if I have better days than today."

"Your back and your feet again, huh?"

"What else?" said Tootie with a roll of her eyes. "I'd go upstairs, lie down, and try to relax, only I've got so much homework to do."

"I know what you mean. I have a big homework assignment, myself. It's this essay for English class. It's a pretty major part of our final grade, as a matter of fact."

"What's it about?"

"It's basically the Eastland version of the age-old assignment where you have to talk about what you want to do when you grow up. She wants us to write specifically about our plans for the immediate future after we graduate from Eastland. We have to talk about what colleges we're applying to and what we plan on majoring in and what our hopes and plans and goals are for our future careers. It's a pretty big deal, but not just because of how it impacts our final grade; this is the last assignment Miss Gallagher's giving us before she leaves."

"Miss Gallagher's leaving? I didn't know that."

Blair nodded, and then she told her, "I overheard her and Mr. Bradley discussing it in the hall. She'll be gone by the end of next week."

"That really makes me kind of sad. I was always looking forward to having Miss Gallagher as my English teacher. For a teacher, she's really a lot of fun. I was even looking forward toBeowulfbecause of her."

"It makes me sad, too. I think I can honestly say that Miss Gallagher is the best teacher I've ever had. As much as I hate to admit it, there have actually been times when I'velooked forwardto going to English class. With her leading the class, it never takeseffortto pay attention. She actually makes it interesting and intriguing…evenfun.It just won't be the same at Eastland without her."

"I know," Tootie agreed.

"I think this is going to hit Jo harder than anyone, though. She thinks the world of Miss Gallagher."

"Yeah. She probably will be pretty angry and upset. I don't think I want to be in the same room with her when she does find out."

"I know how you feel. I don't want to be in the same room with Jo when she first hears about it, either."

"Anyway, you said a moment ago that your assignment for Miss Gallagher was to write an essay about your college and career plans after you graduate from Eastland. What are you going to tell her in your essay?"

"I'm glad you brought that up. I was going to ask you about that. I know you and I agreed that we would keep the adoption between us for a while, but I just wouldn't feel right telling a bunch of lies in my essay. I could claim that I'm applying to Langley and planning on being an art major, but obviously, that's not the truth. In the past, I wouldn't have cared; I would have just thought of it all as a harmless little white lie, but now that my relationship with Jesus has changed so much over these past few months and we've gotten so much closer, I–"

"You don't have to explain. I know what you're talking about. Jesus and I have been getting a lot closer through this whole thing, too. I don't mean to sound corny, but I think it's my relationship with the Lord that's given me the strength to survive all of this inside. And I don't have any problems with you telling the truth in your essay. I know it wouldn't be right if you filled your assignment with a bunch of lies. Besides, I don't think Miss Gallagher's the kind of person who would just blurt out private information like this to Mrs. Garrett or anybody else. I think she's smart enough to know that what you write in your essay is confidential."

Blair nodded and said, "I agree. I think she is, too. Okay, then. That settles it. I'll write in my essay all about how I plan to become a stay-at-home mom."

"You always look so happy whenever you talk about how you're going to be a stay-at-home mom, Blair," Tootie observed.

"That's because itdoesmake me happy to talk about it, Tootie. I'm really looking forward to being a full-time mother."

Tootie then put her hands on her round stomach and said, "This baby is going to be the most spoiled little baby in all of Peekskill." In the next moment, they laughed together a little bit. Then Tootie said a little more seriously, "I'll never forget everything you're doing for me."

Blair dismissed it with a wave of her hand and teased, "Oh, please! This is entirely selfish! I'm doing it for myself more than anyone else. My life was getting way too boring, anyway. I was just wasting all my time playing the field, which will get pretty dull in Peekskill pretty quick. Once you date one Bates boy, you've dated them all. It'll do me some good to shake things up; focus on something else for a while."

Tootie wasn't having it, though, as she shook her head. "No, Blair, seriously," she said. "I know you never had to agree to postpone college and your art career just to take care of my baby and give me peace of mind. I know that no matter what you say, this really is a big personal sacrifice you're making. I'll never forget that. I really owe you one, and that's putting it mildly."

It was now Blair who shook her head, and then she told her friend, "Tootie, you owe the gas company. You owe Bloomingdale's. You don't owe your friends. Besides, I know that if the tables were turned; if I were fourteen and had gotten raped and then pregnant, and you were eighteen and you had my wealth and connections, you would do the same thing for me."

Tootie nodded and said, "You're right. I would."

"And if Natalie or Jo were in my position, we both know that they'd do exactly what I'm doing. That's just the way this family works. We help each other whenever one of us is in trouble."

"We do have a great family, don't we?" Tootie mused.

"The best," Blair agreed.

Blair and Tootie continued talking for a few more minutes, and then they both got started on their homework. Blair in particular put in a lot of long, hard work on her essay for English class, which was due the following Thursday.

However, Blair's class was also expected to turn in a rough draft of their work that Friday, and on that Friday afternoon when Miss Gallagher first got a chance to look over what Blair had written, she was utterly flabbergasted to say the least. As it turned out, Tootie's prediction that Miss Gallagher would respect the girls' confidentiality didnothold true at all. After she read Blair's rough draft, she immediately called Mr. Bradley into her classroom.

When Miss Gallagher called for Mr. Bradley to come see her over the intercom, he practically ran down the empty school corridor to her classroom. Mr. Bradley was one of only a handful of people who knew therealreason why Miss Gallagher was leaving her position at Eastland soon. When Blair had overhead them talking in the hall about her departure, she assumed that her English teacher had simply accepted a better-paying job at another school. The tragic truth of the matter was, Gail Gallagher had been diagnosed with a malignant, inoperable brain tumor several weeks ago, and she was not expected to live much longer. Thus, when Mr. Bradley heard she wanted to see him, his active imagination caused him to fear the worst-case scenario. He was terrified that this had something to do with her illness and that perhaps he would need to call in a doctor, maybe even an ambulance.

"Are you alright?" was the first words that came out of a breathless Mr. Bradley the minute he set foot in Gail's classroom, and as she sat in her chair behind her desk, she almost had to stifle a laugh. His blatantly obvious concern for her really did touch her heart.

"I'm fine, Mr. Bradley," she assured him as he approached her desk.

"Are yousureyou're alright?" he persisted, and again, she smiled.

"Mr. Bradley, I assure you, if anything goes wrong with me here at school before I leave next Friday, you will be the first person to know."

Mr. Bradley's stiff body visibly relaxed when she told him that, and then he asked her, "In that case, Miss Gallagher, what can I do for you?"

Gail then handed him Blair's rough draft and replied, "You can read this. You know about the last assignment I'm giving my students that's due next Thursday, right?"

"The essay about their plans for the future after they leave Eastland."

"Yes. Well today, I had them all turn in a rough draft. I think you ought to read Blair Warner's."

"Why? Is she planning on living off the family fortune for the rest of her life so she can spend all her time polishing her diamonds or something?" he teased.

"Oh, come on, Mr. Bradley. You know you shouldn't talk about a student like that," Miss Gallagher scolded him. "And you know perfectly well that there's a lot more to that young lady besides that silly spoiled princess act she's always putting on."

"I know; I know. I was just kidding. I know that underneath it all, Blair really is a good kid with a big heart."

Gail locked her eyes with Stephen's then and told him seriously, "You have no ideahowbig."

"What do you mean?"

"Just read her rough draft. You'll understand what I'm talking about once you've read everything she's said."

"Alright," Stephen agreed, and then he sat down in one of the students' desks and proceeded to read Blair's rough draft over the next few minutes. Once he'd finished reading it, he slowly set it down on the desk and blew out a low whistle.

"Exactly," said Gail, who was still having the same emotional reaction herself. A moment later, she got up from her seat, walked around to the front of her desk, and leaned back against it with her arms folded across her chest.

"I…wow. Just…wow.I…I don't even know what to say."

"WellIdo. I can'tbelieveBlair's mother is being so irresponsible. What kind of mother says yes to something like this? What kind of mother agrees to letting her daughter become a mother at age eighteen and flush her entire college career down the drain?"

"Do you think Blair'swrongto want to help Tootie like this?" Stephen questioned.

Gail vehemently shook her head, and then she told him, "It's not a question of right or wrong. It's not that simple. There's no doubt about it that this would be the ideal solution for Tootie and her baby, but think aboutBlair.Blair may be legally considered an adult now, but like Tootie, she's still just a teenager, herself. She is way too young to take on this kind of responsibility. She still has so much life left to live. She should not be thinking about buying a house and taking care of a baby now. She should be filling out college applications and thinking about what classes she wants to take next semester. She should be thinking about boyfriends and school dances. She should still be enjoying what's left of her teenage years."

Mr. Bradley sighed and said, "Yeah, I see your point."

"It's not that I don't want Tootie's baby to go to a good home and for Tootie to have peace of mind. Of course I do. But I think that Blair deciding to put off going to college so she can adopt Tootie's baby is simply insane. She'll be playing Russian roulette with her education and her future. Lots of people decide not to go to college at first and they always claim that they'll go back to school later, but then, guess what?Life happens.They get married. They have kids. They go to work full-time tosupportall their kids and then they have no time for college and that dream for their life is officially dead. Blair may be filthy rich and it may not be financially difficult for her to go back to college whenever she wants, but who's to say that two, three, four years from now, she won't fall in love, get married, and then have baby number two, which she willalsowant to stay at home to take care of? And after baby number two, how long will it be until baby number three arrives? I've seen this kind of thing happen to so many of my friends. They put off going to college for some reason, and then they simply weren't able to go back to school because life got in the way. I just don't want to see that happen to Blair. She mayactlike she's not the sharpest tool in the shed sometimes, but I know that that isnotthe truth. Blairisa very intelligent young woman with a promising future. I don't want to see her throw that away."

Mr. Bradley then got up from the desk and told her, "I don't want to see that happen, either. You are absolutely right. Underneath Blair's silly little princess act, she really is a very bright and talented young lady. I've seen some of her artwork. She could go pretty far as an artist if she chose to pursue it, and I'd hate to see her sacrifice that. However, here at Eastland, we teach these girls more than just their courses. We teach themvalues.We teach them friendship and generosity. We teach them to give help to somebody who's in trouble, and to put others before themselves. I'm not saying Iagreewith what Blair is doing and I'mcertainlynot saying that I agree with her mother allowing it.I don't.I think it's so sad that Blair doesn't haverealparents to step in and put a stop to this. But I do have to admire Blair, and speaking as her headmaster, I couldn't be prouder of her. She is the living, breathing example of what this school is all about."

"I hear what you're saying, Mr. Bradley, and I do agree that what Blair is doing is the perfect example of the true Eastland spirit. I admire her just as much as you do, and I am also very proud of her. It'sbecauseI'm so proud of her and admire her so much that I'm so worried about her. I don't want her to do something thatseemsgood and noble now, that will only rob her of her full potential in the end. Blair's been robbed enough as it is. She may be financially wealthy, but she's been robbed of having real parents all her life. I don't want to see her get robbed of anything else."

"I know, Gail. I know," Stephen said sadly. "You're right. It is heartbreaking that Blair's never had parents in her life who actuallyactlike parents. I know that as far as parents go, she deserves better; that she'salwaysdeserved better. And I don't want to see Blair ruin her future any more than you do. But whether we like it or not, thisisa private family matter between the Warners and the Ramseys. Blair's mother has clearly chosen to support her decision. If perhaps Blair had decided to try to go through with something like this without notifying her parents, then we would have been able to intervene, but not in this case. Since Mrs. Warner obviously doesn't have any problems with this, there's nothing we can do."

After several moments of silence, Gail said, "Blair may not haveparentswho act like parents, but shedoeshave anutritionistwho acts like a parent."

"Mrs. Garrett? But doesn't she already know about this?"

"Oh Stephen, grow up!Of course she doesn't know!Do you honestly believe things would have gotten this far if she actuallyknewwhat was going on? If Blairhadtold her about it, you know perfectly well that Edna Garrett would have nipped this thing in the bud like Barney Fife a long time ago."

"You're right. She would have. Do you want me to go tell her?"

Gail shook her head, and then she replied, "You don't have to tell her. Just ask her to read Blair's rough draft. If anyone can talk some sense into her, it's Edna, and I'm sure she will after she reads it."

"Right," Stephen agreed. In the next second, he picked up Blair's rough draft from the desk. "I'll go take this to Edna now."

A couple of seconds later, just as Stephen was on his way out the door, there was a brief knock, and then Edna walked in.

"Hello, Edna," Gail greeted her with a friendly smile. "We were just talking about you."

"I was just about to come and find you, as a matter of fact," Stephen added.

"Oh, really? Nothing serious, I hope. I'm not being put in detention, am I?" Edna kidded, and Gail and Stephen chuckled a bit.

"No, of course not," Stephen assured her.

For the next couple of minutes, the three faculty members joked around a little and had some small talk, all the while Jo was making her way up the hall to Gail's door. She was hoping to ask Gail to look over everything she'd written so far for her latest article inThe Eastlander. It was true that Gail wasn't the journalism teacher, but she often had some very helpful suggestions for Jo.

Just as Jo stopped right outside the English teacher's door, though, she heard Mrs. Garrett say, "I know you've been having a rough go of it lately, Gail. I just wanted to come by and check on you."

"That's very thoughtful, Edna, but I assure you, I'm alright."

"There's no harm in keeping a close eye on our favorite senior English teacher, though," said Mr. Bradley. "A gem of a teacher like you doesn't come around every day."

"That's right," Mrs. Garrett agreed. "A person like you is a real gift, and we should look after all the gifts in our lives."

Gail chuckled at them for a moment, then reminded them, "We've been over this before, you two. My illness doesnotmean that you have to treat me as if I'm made of porcelain."

"Illness?" Jo said in disbelief.

"You don't have to fret over me like a couple of nervous mother hens," Gail continued, "and you don't have to ask me if I'm alright every five minutes. You know that if I'm not feeling well, you two will be the first people to know."

"Oh Gail, we're not only concerned about you because of your illness," Edna told her kindly. "We're concerned because we care about you. You're our friend."

"That's true," Mr. Bradley agreed.

"Well thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. And it is true that this week has been rather taxing for me, but all I need is to go home, lie down, and relax for a little while. I'll be fine," Gail insisted with a valiant smile, which Edna and Stephen returned. However, it was hardly a secret to either one of them that Gail was downplaying the gravity of the situation and putting on a brave face. But no matter how much she tried to hide it, her friends could easily see all the fatigue in her eyes.

"Well you just be sure you get plenty of rest at home, huh?" Edna gently admonished her, and she nodded.

"Will do," Gail assured her.

"So what did you want to see me about, Mr. Bradley?" Mrs. Garrett asked.

"Oh yes, I wanted to ask you to read this," he responded as he held up Blair's rough draft.

"Blair's rough draft of her essay?" Edna commented, having immediately recognized it as soon as Mr. Bradley held it up.

"Just for the record, Edna, you haven't actually read any of this, have you?" Mr. Bradley inquired, and Mrs. Garrett shook her head.

"No, I haven't. I do know that Blair's been putting an awful lot of work into this, though. I'm sure the final copy she turns in next Thursday will be wonderful."

"There's no doubt that Blairdidput a great deal of thought and effort into this, Edna," Gail told her. "It's clearly reflected in this draft."

"I don't see the problem. If Blair did such a great job with the draft, is there any reason why I need to read it? Or do you just want me to see what a terrific job she did?"

Gail shook her head and explained, "This has nothing to do with the quality of Blair's work. You should read what Blair has written about her plans for her future after she graduates Eastland. I was very concerned about what I read, and I think you will be, too. I'm hoping that once you've read Blair's draft, you'll sit down with her and have a long talk with her."

Uh oh,Jo said to herself inside.This is not good. I'd better warn Blair to prepare herself for a lecture…maybe even a fight.

"Alright," Mrs. Garrett agreed. "If you think it's that important, I'll have a look at it as soon as I can."

"Itisimportant, Edna," Stephen concurred, and then he handed the draft to her.

"You two have certainly piqued my interest. I wonder what on earth this could be about," Mrs. Garrett mused.

"It's really best if you–" Gail began to say, but then the room suddenly started spinning and she couldn't keep her balance. Jo, who was watching through the tiny crack of the barely-open door, watched as Mrs. Garrett and Mr. Bradley reached out and grabbed her before she fell.

"Gail!" Mrs. Garrett cried out.

"Hold on; hold on," Mr. Bradley said anxiously as he and Mrs. Garrett started helping her over to her chair behind her desk.

"It's alright, dear. We've got you," Mrs. Garrett reassured her, and then they got her in her seat.

"Easy," Mr. Bradley whispered. Then he asked, "Gail, do you want us to call your doctor?"

"Are you kidding? What do I need a doctor for? You two keep acting like I'm dying of an inoperable brain tumor or something! You know perfectly well that I'm just drunk!" she kidded, and then Jo suddenly felt an invisible dagger plunge into her stomach. "You guys know about my drinking problem. I've been hiding whiskey in my desk drawer and drinking whiskey shots behind the students' backs all day. It's only now starting to get the best of me."

Edna, who was now kneeling in front of her, tenderly touched her younger friend's cheek and whispered, "Gail."

In that moment, Jo quickly took off and ran back to the kitchen, and from there, to the girls' room upstairs.

Later that evening when they'd all cleaned up after supper, Jo came into the lounge to have a private word with Mrs. G., who was sitting on the loveseat reading a book. As soon as Jo walked in, she noticed Blair's draft of her English essay sitting in the middle of the coffee table amongst a bunch of other magazines and papers. Jo couldn't say for certain, but she was fairly sure, judging by how calm Mrs. Garrett seemed, that she hadn't read it yet. Natalie and Tootie were upstairs and Blair had gone to visit Alison and Emily once again, so Jo and Mrs. G. had the lounge to themselves for the moment. The instant Mrs. Garrett saw Jo, she could easily tell that she had a lot on her mind, so she quickly set her book down on the coffee table and gave Jo her undivided attention.

Not one to beat around the bush, Jo simply walked into the lounge, folded her arms, looked Mrs. Garrett straight in the eyes, and asked, "Is it true?"

"Is what true, Jo?"

"I came around to Gail's classroom earlier this afternoon. I wanted to ask her for some suggestions about my latest article for the school paper, but when I got there, you and her and Mr. Bradley were all talkin', so I decided to hang around and wait until your conversation was over."

"Oh, Jo," Mrs. Garrett said in a deep, sad tone.

"Is it true what she said about havin' some kind of inoperable brain tumor?"

After a long, quiet moment, Mrs. Garrett nodded; in the next instant, Jo was visibly fighting off tears. Mrs. Garrett then said, "I'm sorry, Jo. I am so sorry. I know how deeply it hurts to lose a friend. I know this isn't easy for you."

Jo shook her head and said, "Who cares aboutme?Gail'sthe one who's dyin'.She'sthe one we oughtta be worryin' about."

Mrs. Garrett got up then, walked over to Jo, and told her, "We're all deeply concerned about Gail. What she's going through now is devastating, and we all want to do everything we can to help her. But whatyou'refeeling matters, too. I know how much this must be hurting you inside, and it's not good to keep your feelings bottled up. It'salsonot good to try to run away from them," she said pointedly. Jo took the hint, and she shook her head.

"You don't have to worry about me, Mrs. G. I'm not gonna try to run away from this. If this had happened last year, before Tootie got raped, I'm sure I probably would've tried to run away. I'm sure I would've gotten all wrapped up in myself and how scared I felt about losing a friend, and spent all my time tryin' to avoid Gail or run away from her so I wouldn't have to face the pain. I probably would've been selfish like that and made it all aboutmeand not Gail. But after watchin' everything Tootie's been goin' through, I know better than to act like that now. Despite the fact that she already went through a sexual assault and despite the fact that one of her own parents didn't even support her, she still had the strength and the guts and the decency to put her baby's needs ahead of her own. I can't imagine what it must be like, bein' pregnant at fourteen. If Tootie can be that strong for her baby, who am I to be runnin' away from my friend at a time like this like some selfish wimp?" Jo asked as her voice began to crack and a silent tear fell down her cheek.

"And I don't need to talk about all my feelings, Mrs. Garrett," she continued. "I've got a mom who's bustin' her butt constantly at two jobs to put me through this fancy school. I've got our family here at Eastland with you and the girls. I've got great friends. I've got a new boyfriend I'm crazy about. I've got two part-time jobs I love. I've got excellent grades; I'm at the top of my class and I'm probably gonna graduate as class valedictorian. I've even got a bunch of interesting classes I love. And on top of all that, I'm in perfect health and unless I get in an accident drivin' a race car one day, I'll probably live a pretty long life. God willing, I'll probably get to graduate college in a few years, start a career, fall in love, get married, have kids, have grandkids, maybe even have great-grandkids, and die an old woman. I'm blessed. I'm in great shape. I've got it pretty good. But Gail? She's not gonna get old," Jo said, and in that moment, she broke down and started sobbing. Mrs. Garrett quickly grabbed her and pulled her into her arms and held her tight while she cried. Mrs. Garrett even cried with her.

Mrs. Garrett kissed her cheek a couple of minutes later, and then with Jo still in her embrace, she looked into her eyes and said to her, "I know, honey. I know. I know how much it hurts."

"She should have more time," Jo said through her tears with gritted teeth.

"I know," Edna said quietly, and then their embrace ended.

"The kind of neighborhoods Gail and I grew up in, you took your chances just steppin' outside the door.But she got out, Mrs. Garrett.She survived, and then after spendin' so many years of her life working and studying, trying to make something of herself, she graduated from college and became a teacher. But what's the point of all that hard work and dedication if it's only gonna be taken away from you at twenty-six? What does it matter? What's the difference?"

Mrs. Garrett then gently touched Jo's chin with her index finger, firmly held her gaze with her strong blue eyes, and told her, "You'rethe difference, Jo.Youare the difference, and so is every other student who's ever been in her class. Gail undeniably has a God-given gift for teaching. Not every teacher has that gift, but Gail does, and she's used it to touch the lives of hundreds of Eastland students. You told me just last week that you'd recently decided you wanted to become a teacher and how you never would have even considered it had it not been for Gail.That'sthe difference. A person could live to be eighty years-old and have nothing to show for it. Gail. Has.You."

Jo cried silently for several more moments, and then she wiped away her tears and said, "I still wish she could have more than twenty-six years, an education degree, and a few classes of students. I still wish she could have the chance to grow old…have grandchildren. I just hate feeling so helpless. It's not fair that there's nothing I can do to stop it."

"I know, sweetheart, but the sad fact is, life on this earth is never fair."

"I know. But there's gotta besomethin'I can do. There's gotta besomekind of way that I can make all of this easier for her somehow. There's gotta be somethin' I can do to help."

"Sometimes, Jo, the only thing you canreallydo is just…be there. You don't have to try and fix this or make it better. You don't even have to let Gail know that you found out about her illness. Just go to her classes next week and be the best student you can be. Listen to her. Learn from her. Go out with her to the Beethoven concert tomorrow night. Spend time with her, and make every moment count. Let her know how much she's meant to you in your life. Let her know she's made a difference."

Jo nodded, and as she mulled Mrs. Garrett's words over in her mind over the next few long moments, she realized how right she was.

"How long is Gail gonna be here before…?" she asked, allowing the sentence to trail.

"She'll be going into the hospital this coming Friday, that isaftershe finishes up her last day here at Eastland."

Again, Jo nodded, and then she asked, "How's Gail doin' now? I know she almost collapsed earlier."

"The brain tumor sometimes causes problems with her balance and equilibrium," Mrs. Garrett explained. "Mr. Bradley told her that it was alright if she wanted to just go home and take it easy this next week; that she didn't have to worry about coming in to work if she didn't want to, but as you already know, she's as stubborn as you are," Mrs. Garrett quipped, which caused Jo to laugh a bit. "I stayed with Gail and Mr. Bradley for a little while after she lost her balance. She kept claiming she was alright, but Mr. Bradley drove her home just to be safe."

"Yeah, I noticed that she hasn't driven herself to school in weeks. She keeps takin' cabs or carpooling with other teachers," Jo noted.

"It's because of the tumor. Gail doesn't want to take any chances of anything happening behind the wheel, understandably."

"Who all knows about this? I'm guessing Gail probably doesn't want all of her students to know."

"You're right; she doesn't. If Gail had her way,noneof us would know. After she was diagnosed, she only told Mr. Bradley at first for obvious reasons. She needed to let him know what was going on and why she would eventually be leaving Eastland. She didn't think it was necessary for anybody else to know, but you know Mr. Bradley."

Jo chuckled and said, "Yeah, when it comes to keepin' stuff in, he can be almost as bad as Natalie and Tootie."

"He ended up letting it slip to one of the teachers, and now several other teachers know, and I found out three weeks ago."

"You know you don't have to worry about me, Mrs. G. I know how to keep a secret."

"I know you do."

After a pause, Jo told Mrs. Garrett, "I've got a big history exam on Monday. I should probably go upstairs and start studying."

Mrs. Garrett nodded and patted Jo's upper arms, and then Jo turned around and left.

Once Jo had walked out of the lounge, Mrs. Garrett picked up Blair's draft, sat down on the loveseat, and started reading.

Chapter 8: Freight Train

Chapter Text

Chapter 8: Freight Train

It was ten minutes after ten that night when Blair got back to Eastland. Jo, Natalie and Tootie were upstairs, and Mrs. Garrett was sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria patiently waiting as Blair came strolling in.

"Hi, Mrs. Garrett," she said with a pleasant smile as she put her purse down on the table and took a seat next to Mrs. G. In the meantime, Jo started her descent down the kitchen stairs, planning to raid the fridge for a little snack before she went to bed.

"Hello, dear," Mrs. Garrett said kindly. "Did you have a nice visit with Alison and Emily?"

"Yes, I did," Blair said happily. "I really love spending time with Emily. I'll admit that babysitting her can be a little taxing sometimes, especially when she decides to throw a temper tantrum, but most of the time, it's amazing. She is the most adorable little girl," she told Edna, and then they shared another smile. "I didn't go over to Alison's to babysit tonight, though," Blair explained. "I just spent a little time with them while David was out at his night class. We had a pretty pleasant evening."

"I'm glad to hear it. Blair, I know it's kind of late, but if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if we could stay up a little while and have a talk."

Uh oh, Jo thought to herself in the kitchen.Mrs. G. read Blair's draft of her English essay. Here it comes! Lecture Central Station.

"Of course. What did you want to talk about?" Blair asked innocently, having no clue that Mrs. Garrett had read her draft.

"You know that you turned in your rough draft of your big English essay to Miss Gallagher earlier today," Mrs. Garrett said, and it was then that Blair knew it was time to brace for impact. Her upper body visibly stiffened.

"That's right."

"Well, she read it this afternoon, and she was very concerned about what you wrote. She asked me to read it as well, and I just did a little while ago."

"I see," Blair said quietly. "I have a bad feeling that you don't approve."

Mrs. Garrett shook her head and told her, "Blair, first of all, I want to say that I'm really hurt and disappointed that you would keep something like this a secret. I'm hurt that I had to find out about something like this from Miss Gallagher and not from you. We're a family around here. We tell each other everything."

"Didyoutellusabout it back when you were dating Howard?" Blair teased. The other girls had had no idea about it, but back when Howard had been working at Eastland as Mrs. Garrett's assistant in the kitchen, they had been seeing each other. Jo, Natalie, and Tootie had been utterly clueless about it, but an expert in romance like Blair had been able to pick up on it in two seconds flat.

"How did you know I dated Howard?" Mrs. Garrett asked, clearly taken aback. She'd had no idea that any of the girls had picked up on their relationship while he had been working there.

"Oh please, Mrs. Garrett. I saw you two together; the way you talked and laughed with each other whenever you were in the same room; the looks in your eyes. You may not have told any of us about it, but an expert in romance likemoicould pick up on it a mile away."

Edna let out a chuckle, and then said, "I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. Well Blair, I didn't tell you girls I was dating Howard because–"

"Because it was private," Blair interrupted. "Because it was a part of your life you wanted to reserve just for yourself and Howard, without having to think about us. You don't always tell us everything that's going on in your personal life, Mrs. Garrett, and you shouldn't have to. Every person needs a certain degree of privacy. And in the same token, this adoption isalsosomething that's very private and personal. I don't mean any disrespect, but this is something that's between Tootie and me, not betweenyouand Tootie and me."

"I understand what you're saying, Blair, but I have a personal responsibility to you girls. I have made a commitment to this school, to your parents, to myself, and to the good Lord above to watch out for you. It's my job to always look out for your best interests, and when something life-changing like this is going on in your lives, it's only fair that I should know about it."

"Don't you thinkI amacting in Tootie's best interests, Mrs. Garrett?"

"Absolutely. Blair, you are a truly wonderful friend, and I think the world of you for wanting to do this. I know what this would mean to Tootie and her baby. However, even though you may be acting inTootie'sbest interests, I'm worried that you're not acting in your own. Please believe me, sweetheart; I admire what you're trying to do. Ideeplyadmire it. I think you are being an incredible friend, and there's no doubt about it that your heart is in the right place. But I'm not sure about your head," Mrs. Garrett teased.

"Is it really so impossible for you to believe that I might actually know what I'm doing, even though I'm young?"

"No offense, Blair, butwe allthink we know what we're doing when we're eighteen. Then when we get out there in the real world and experience real life on our own for ourselves, we find out it's a completely different ballgame. Life isnevereverything we expect it to be. There are often tons of unexpected surprises – both good ones and bad ones – and life often has a way of throwing us curves that we never see coming.

"Like I told you a moment ago, I deeply admire what you're trying to do. I know how worried you are about Tootie and her baby; we all are. Weallwant to see Tootie's baby get adopted by a trustworthy family. I understand yours and Tootie's concerns, and I admire how willing you are to step in and try to do something about it. But I don't think you're ready to shoulder this kind of responsibility. Not yet. Blair, becoming a parent is responsibility like no other, and it requires a tremendous amount of maturity. You need to give yourself time to grow as an individual. You need to give yourself a little more time to be a teenager. College may be a vital part of your overall education, but there are other reasons besides education why the college experience is so important. Your years in college are supposed to help you make the transition from a high school teenager into a full-grown adult, and if you deny yourself that experience now, you could really be harming yourself in the long-run."

"Mrs. Garrett, I want you to know that Ididn'tmake this decision at the drop of a hat. I thought about this long and hard before I talked to Tootie and her parents and my mother about it. I have carefully considered everything you've said. I know it won't be easy being a mother at eighteen. I know I'll be missing out on college and the rest of my teen years, and if I could put off adopting Tootie's baby until I'd finished my college education and started my art career, I would. But I can't. That baby's coming in seven weeks – possibly even sooner – and this is the only real option we have. Tootie can't take care of a baby at fourteen. Even with her father's help, it would still mess up Tootie's life and make everything so much harder for her. After the hell she's been through, she more than deserves to go back to her regular life again once all of this is over, and you know that. And adoption isn't always a reliable option. You know that, too. Natalie was blessed to be adopted by good parents, but you know it doesn't always work out like that. You know about how Earl Brown managed to fool the system and adopt his two daughters, both of whom he abused.I will nottake that kind of a gamble with Tootie's baby, Mrs. Garrett, and quite frankly, it makes me angry that you would evenwantme to," Blair said as she started getting a little hot under the collar, and then she got up from her seat and began pacing in agitation.

Mrs. Garrett responded by getting up from her seat as well, and then she told Blair, "It's not that Iwantthat, Blair. It's just that–"

"It's just that you think that because I'm young, I don't have enough maturity to be a good mother," Blair interrupted as she now stood still and locked her eyes with Mrs. Garrett's, with her arms folded across her chest. "I know I have my little persona. I know how I always like to act as though I'm perfect and my whole life is perfect. I never would have admitted this before Tootie got attacked, but over these past several months, I've grown up enough to where I can admit my flaws. I know I can act pretty silly and snobbish and over-the-top, and I know I can be a little childish at times. And I can also admit it now that my life isn't all it's cracked up to be. I may be a 'princess' in a manner of speaking. I may be a rich heiress, overflowing with money and designer clothes and jewelry. I maylooklike I have it all, but I haveneverhad the one thing in my life I've wanted more than anything else: to be a real priority to my parents. Maybe I do act silly and childish at times, butI ammature enough to be a much better parent to this baby than my parents ever were."

Edna opened her mouth then and was about to speak, but Blair interrupted, telling her, "And don't stand there and try to defend my parents like you usually do, Mrs. Garrett. It won't work. Not this time. You've always defended our parents whenever they've done things to hurt us, but that isn't going to work now like it has before."

"Sincewhenhave Ieverdefended your parents after they've hurt you?"

Blair let out a sarcastic chuckle and responded, "When?When?Whenhaven'tyou defended our parents and taken their side over ours after they've done things to hurt us? When my mother tried to start up an affair with a married man on Parents' Night a few years ago, and even when she hit me later on that night, you didnotgive my mother any lectures about how wrongshewas. You never lecturedherabout how selfish it was of her to mess around with a married man at her daughter's school, in front of her daughter's classmates. And youcertainlynever lectured her about what a terrible example she was setting for me as a parent or how wrong she was to hit me that night. No,Igot the lecture, as ifIhad done something wrong by feeling hurt and angry and by daring to actually express that to her. You actually tried to lay a stupid guilt trip on me by saying that not every parent took the time to come to Eastland that night but that my mother came. Mrs. Garrett, didn't it everonceoccur to you that I deserved parents who spent time with me not justonenight, butevery night?Didn't it everonceoccur to you that I should have had a motherand one fatherin my life who wasalwayswilling to spend time with me? Didn't it everonceoccur to you that my mother was wrong to hurt me and embarrass me like that, not to mention that she was wrong to hit me? The way you got onto me that night but saidnothingabout the way my mother was acting sent me a silent message, Mrs. Garrett, and that message was that deep down, you believed it was okay for her to treat me like that. Well I've got news for you.It was never okay!

"And when Jo's father showed up at Eastland for the first time and truth started coming out about his prison sentence and how he'd abandoned her as a kid, I'll never forget what I overheard you saying to him. You said thathehad been through a lot andJowas givinghima rough time. A manabandons his daughter, and you actually have the audacity to say thathe'sthe one who's been through a lot andshe'sgivinghima rough time?What aboutJo?What about whatheputherthrough? What about all the times she stayed up waiting at night as a kid, hoping that maybe,just maybe, her daddy might come back home? I know how that feels because I've been without a father my whole life. I may have a biological father, but I haveneverhad arealfather who actually loved me enough to bother to get to know me, so I can easily imagine how Jo must've felt when her father left her," Blair said angrily as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I understand that you were trying to get Jo and her dad back together, but youdefendinghim like that, saying thathe'sbeen through a lot after thehellhe put Jo through…that's just inexcusable andsick, Mrs. Garrett. If you wanted to get them back together, you should have done itthe right way.You should have told him to go ahead and leave that night since Jo wanted him to leave, and you should have told him to keep trying to call her and write to her and to not give up on her. Instead of trying to throw them back together all at once, you should have made it clear that he should have had towork to earn Jo's trust again.

"You know what happened after you talked to Jo's father that night? Jo told me that he childishly demanded that she let him back in her life again 'because he was her father and he said so.' Why in the lowest pit ofhelldoes Charlie Polniaczek get to get away with abandoning his daughter, and then get todemandshe let him back in her life without him having to doanythingtoearnit? Kidsalwayshave to face consequences for it from their parents whentheydo something wrong. But why is it,why is it Mrs. Garrett, that whenever parents do things to hurt their kids, theyneverget called out on it andneverhave to face any real consequences for it? Why do parents always get to treat their kids any old way they like and have it swept under the rug if they do something wrong?I am so sick and tired of that double standard!

"Jo's father abandoned her and you just swept what he did to her under the rug because he was a fellow parent and you were biased towards him. You did the same thing when my mother started getting involved with a married man right in front of me, and then hit me later on for calling her out on it. And just like Jo's father, my parents, too, have abandoned memy whole life.Ever since I was Emily's age, my father has loved his business and my mother has loved her love affairs far more than either one of them haveeverloved me, and you haveclearly seen thatall these years andyou have never once called them out on it!You havenever oncesaid to me, 'Blair, you are a good person and you don't deserve to be rejected by your parents like this.' Do you haveany idea at allhowbadlyI have needed to hear you say that to me all these years, Mrs. Garrett?! Do you haveanyidea what it's like to be abandoned and rejectedby your own parents?You know something, Mrs. Garrett? For all your experience and wisdom, I don't think you do have any idea what that's like at all. I don't think you have the slightest clue how damaging that is to a person inside. Maybe you have had to work long and hard all your life, but you always had parents who loved you andwhomade it obviousthat they loved you. You've always had it a lot easier in that department than Jo and I ever have.

"So yeah, I may have my flaws. I may act spoiled and childish sometimes. I'll give you that. But let me tell you something. Growing up being rejected and abandoned by your own parents like I was; growing up having to be a therapist to your own mother and a marriage counselor to both of your own parents at age seven, all the while havingnobodywho was taking care ofyouand being a parent toyou, makes a person grow up pretty quickly inside. And I'll tell you this:I have got more maturity in the tip of my little finger," Blair said as she held up her right pinky, "than my mother has ever had in her entire body!There isabsolutely nothing on this earthmy parents couldeverteachmeabout how to love that baby that Tootie's carrying! Unlike my father, I understand how important it is to make your child a bigger priority in your life than your business, and unlike my mother, I understand how important it is to make your child a bigger priority in your life than getting laid! Maybe I am young. Maybe I don't have all of your experience in life. Maybe I don't have a college degree. But don't youevertry to tell me that I don't have what it takes to be a good mother, Mrs. Garrett. I will be a better mother now than Monica Warner could everhopeto be atanyage!"

And with that, Blair furiously stomped out of the cafeteria and went outside, leaving Mrs. Garrett feeling as though she'd just been hit by a freight train.

A couple of minutes later, after Jo had given Mrs. G. a chance to catch her breath a little, she quietly walked into the cafeteria and carefully approached her.

"You okay, Mrs. G.?" Jo asked gently.

Mrs. Garrett remained perfectly still and silent for the longest time, but then she finally shook her head and replied, "No, Jo, I don't think so."

"I came downstairs for a little snack before I went to bed. I couldn't help but overhear the explosion," Jo kidded. "Although, to be honest, I probably would've overheard it anyway had I stayed upstairs."

"I'd be surprised if the entire campus didn't hear the explosion," Mrs. Garrett said quietly.

"Yeah. Blair's pretty angry, alright."

Mrs. Garrett shook her head again and said, "This wasn't mere anger, Jo. This was something else. This was fury, evenrage.I haveneverseen Blair like this before."

"Oh, come on, Mrs. G. Are youreallythat surprised? You should know as well as I do that this has been comin' on for years. Do youreallythink that Blair's beenhappyall these years, havin' so-called 'parents' who are never there for her; who ship her off to be raised by some boarding school and never spend any real time with her because they're too self-absorbed in their own petty, selfish lives? Did you honestly expect Blair to never feel any pain because of that?"

Once again, Mrs. Garrett shook her head in bewilderment and said, "She's always seemed to deal with it so well. I know that the way Blair's parents have done her over the years is wrong, but she's always been so mature about it. She's never let it bother her like this before. Call me naïve, but I honestly believed that despite it all, she was okay,happyeven. I know it's not right that they spend such little time with her, but I had no idea that she believed they didn't really love her. I had no idea she's been in so much pain all this time."

"I don't mean any disrespect, Mrs. G., but I don't see how anybody couldnotsee it. Blair may hide it well, but still, how can you expect anyone who's been emotionally abandoned the way Blair's been all her life tonotbe hurting? Is itreallythat you didn't think she was hurting, Mrs. Garrett? Or is it that Blair was right about what she said about you being biased towards our parents and sweeping their hurtful actions under the rugbecauseof that bias? You've always gotten on my case in the past about running away from my problems instead of facing them, but what aboutyou?Do you really believe that feeling hurt and abandoned by our parents is something that's unique to Blair? Wheneveranyof us have tried to express hurt or anger about bein' shipped off to school here, never seein' our parents, you havealwaystried to shut us down with the tired old, 'Your parents are just trying to give you a good education!' line. In my case, that happens to be true, but you know as well as I do that that'snotthe case for the other girls, especially Blair and Tootie.You knowthat their parents could have easily enrolled them in a private school closer to home and that they could have easily spent time with them every single day over the years, if they'dreallywanted to. But they didn't choose to be a part of their kids' everyday lives for their own stupid, selfish reasons, andyou nevercalled them out on it. You still don't. You just give the girls the stupid line about their parents tryin' to give 'em a good education, which is basically your way of avoiding the issue and sweeping it under the rug. And you don't just do it when it comes to the whole issue of them sending us away to Eastland. Youalwayssweep it under the rug whenever our parents doanythingto hurt us. This is somethin' youconstantlyrun away from, just like I used to run away from everything.

"Well Blair isn't running, Mrs. G. She has been in so much pain her whole life because of the way her parents have treated her, but sheisn'tsweeping what they did to her under the rug and sheisn'tusing shopping sprees or boys to try to numb herself to the pain anymore. Now, she'susingher pain for somethingpositive; somethingwonderful.She's using it to give a baby everything it needs that she never got as a kid. She may be makin' a sacrifice when it comes to college, but I thinkshe needsto adopt this baby even more than the baby needs to be adopted. And what shedoesn't needis for you to give her a hard time right now. Why do you think she did all of this without tellin' ya; without even givin' ya a chance to try and talk her out of it? She did it this way because thelastthing she needs now is to have to hear a lecture from you about how she doesn't have what it takes to be a parent because she's young. What sheneedsis for you to believe in her. She needs –and deserves– all the support you can give her," Jo told Edna seriously as their eyes locked. After Jo stood there for a long, silent moment, she turned around and went back upstairs, leaving Mrs. Garrett with her thoughts.

After a little while, Mrs. Garrett eventually went upstairs to bed that night, but she tossed and turned all night long and didn't get a wink of sleep. When it was time for all of them to set up for breakfast that Saturday morning, the atmosphere couldn't possibly have been more tense, especially between Blair and Mrs. Garrett. Jo had been quite right when she'd said that Natalie and Tootie had easily overheard Blair's explosion the night before. Mrs. G. and the girls all worked together and did their jobs that morning, but it was quite clear that things in their family werenotnormal.

When they'd finished cleaning up after breakfast, Jo went to Garroll's garage, and was very relieved to be away from the nearly-toxic atmosphere at Eastland for the time being. She'd never been happier to go to her part-time job, work on bikes, and see her boyfriend in all her life.

That afternoon, once Mrs. Garrett, Blair, Natalie, and Tootie got finished cleaning up after lunch, Mrs. Garrett was also happy and relieved to get away from Eastland for a bit. After all the drama and tension she'd recently been going through with all her worries over Gail and her girls, she decided to treat herself by going out to lunch at her favorite Mexican restaurant in downtown Peekskill. As fate would have it, Mr. Bradley was sitting at a table himself when she arrived, so naturally, he invited her to join him when he saw her.

"Hey, Edna. Great to see you," he greeted her with a smile, and then he motioned towards the chair across from him. "Please, have a seat."

"Oh, why thank you, Mr. Bradley. Thank you very much," Edna responded as she sat down.

"Of course. So you're in the mood for Mexican food today, too, huh?"

"Well, more than anything, I think I just needed to get away from the school for a while."

"I know what you mean. It's not always easy being responsible for a bunch of teenage girls," he said with a chuckle, and Edna laughed as well.

"You can say that again."

"Trouble with your crew?" Mr. Bradley asked, and Mrs. Garrett simply responded by rolling her eyes. "I take it, you've read Blair's draft of her English essay?"

Mrs. Garrett nodded and said, "Yes, and when I tried to talk to Blair about it, it didnotgo well, and that's putting it mildly."

"I see. Well, hang in there, Edna. You and your girls will work this out. You always do."

Edna shook her head, and then she told him, "I haveneverhad a fight with Blair like this before in my entire life. I literally felt like I'd been hit by a freight train when she was finally done yelling at me last night. And then Jo had some things to say to me, too, that I didn't really like."

"Do you want me to have a talk with them? Get them back in line, so to speak?"

"Oh, no. Of course not. Things may have gotten pretty unpleasant between my girls and me, but the girls haven't done anything wrong. As a matter of fact, I thinkIam the one who's done something wrong."

"How so?"

"I never even realized this before Blair and Jo brought it to my attention last night, but I've been thinking very hard about everything they said to me, and I think that all these years, I reallyhavebeen biased against them and in favor of their parents whenever their parents have hurt them. Whenever their parents have clearly done something wrong that has caused my girls pain in the past, I don't believe I've identified enough with my girls and whattheywere going through. We both know how wrong it is that these girls' parents ship them off to boarding school and barely spend any time with them at all throughout the school year.We both knowhow wrong it is that Eastland – thatI– am raising these girls and not their own parents. Jo really called me out last night on how I've always tried to sweep this entire issue under the rug and run away from it. Maybe I don't want to admit it, but I think she was right. I knowIhaven't been a perfect parent, myself, so I didn't want to be judgmental of the girls' parents, even though I always knew how wrong they were to not be a part of their daughters' everyday lives. And more than anything, I just didn't want the girls to think about it. I didn't want them to think that their own parents didn't care about them, so whenever they would try to talk about how they felt about this in the past, I would shut them down." Edna then shook her head again and said, "I don't think I can do that anymore."

"I don't think you can, either," Stephen agreed. "Not after all this. Your girls really aren't little kids anymore, Edna. They've all grown up quite a lot since last September. They've learned how to see things for what they truly are in this world, and that includes the way their parents sometimes treat them. I don't think you can try to hide from this or protect them from it any longer."

Edna nodded. "You're right, Mr. Bradley. You are absolutely right. Thelastthing I ever meant to do was be unfair to my girls or be biased against them in any way, butI have been.Blair called me out on some things last night, too. She called me out on the fact that when her mother came up to Eastland to see her on Parents' Night and they had that fight and Mrs. Warner hit her,I never said one word about that.Ialsonever saidone wordabout how wrong her mother was to hurt her by placing an affair above her own daughter.Blairwas done wrong that night, and yet it wasBlairwho got the lecture from me andnotMrs. Warner. That isn't right."

"Well, you were hardly in any kind of place to give Mrs. Warner lectures about how she conducts her own private life. You two had only just met, and besides, Mrs. Warnerisan adult."

"Does that mean that we should just let it slide whenever a parent does something wrong that hurts their child, just because they're adults? Whenever a child disrespects an adult, the child gets called out on it immediately and probably punished, but whenever an adult disrespects or hurts a child, particularly if it's aparentthat does it, nine times out of ten,nothing happens to them.They just…get away with it. It's always wrong if a child disrespects an adult, but if an adult does the same, it's just never a big deal. Nobody ever says anything,including me.How often has society done that? Blair was right last night when she called it a double standard.It is a double standard;one that adults have enabled and condoned forcenturies.Icertainly enabled it and condoned it in the way I treated Blair during that whole incident on Parents' Night a few years back, and I did ityet againwhen Jo's father came back into her life. When Mr. Polniaczek came to Eastland and Jo wasunderstandablyafraid to trust him after all he put her through, I was so anxious to get them back together again that I just swept all the pain he caused her under the rug; acted like his abandoning her throughout her childhood was no big deal. I sympathized withhim, not with Jo, and I did that becauseI was also a parent.They did get back together in the end, but it didn't happen the wayit should have happened.It happened with him childishly demanding that she let him back in her life again just because he was her parent. He never had to actually do anyworktoearnJo's trust again. He never had to doanythingtoproveto her that he wasworthyof her trust. He just got his way because he was an adult and she was a kid,and I enabled that. I made it easierfor him to treat Jo like that after the hell he'd already put her through. Blair and Jobothhave been abandoned by their parents, and yet,I neverspeak out about how wrong that is. I speak out and call the A.S.P.C.A. about it whenever people tip sleeping cows over. I speak out about book-banning and I even put my job on the line over it. But whenever my girls' parents abandon them and they suffer so badly inside,I never say one word about it. What is wrong with me?"

After a very long silence, Stephen honestly answered, "I think it's like you said. It's an age-old double standard. It's something we as adults have long since become used to and tolerated, even enabled. You know the old saying, right? Children are to be seen and not heard.That'sthe way of thinking we were raised with. It's so ingrained within us that we don't even think about it, much lessrecognizeit."

Mrs. Garrett took in a deep breath and let out a long sigh. "I really have messed things up for my girls. I really have done them wrong, haven't I?"

Mr. Bradley kindly shook his head and told her, "You've just beenhuman, Edna. Just like all the rest of us."

Mrs. Garrett chuckled then and asked, "Whatever happened to that goofy headmaster I used to know? Whatever happened to that silly, overgrown kid who was willing to break up a friendship just to get his hands on a silver-plated tin cup?"

Mr. Bradley smiled and told her, "He grew up when the last of his family died. It certainly took him a while, but he finally grew up."

"I can see that. I may be grown-up, too, but it looks like I still have some growing to do, myself. I think it's time I made some changes about this double-standard I've been allowing in my life."

"I think that's a double standard living inside the heart ofeveryadult and especially everyparentthat needs to be changed."

"You're probably right," Mrs. Garrett agreed, and then she sighed again. "I know I've really been in the wrong, here. I know now that Blair really has been in a lot of pain and I've just allowed it to happen without sayinganythingto try and help her. I'll remedy that as soon as I can. But Idon'tthink I'm wrong about not wanting her to postpone college so she can take on motherhood at age eighteen."

"I agree that you are right to have concerns. I'm concerned for Blair, too. I don't want to see her do anything that would jeopardize her college career. But I think I also understand where she and Tootie are coming from. After what happened with Tootie's rapist, knowing that he was allowed to adopt two girls and then abuse them, I can hardly blame them for wanting to take steps to make sure that doesn't happen to Tootie's baby. I don't blame Tootie for not wanting to entrust her baby to total strangers. In the end, I don't think there are any perfect or easy answers."

"I guess there aren't. Just for the record,I dowant Tootie's baby to go to a good, trustworthy family. Iabsolutelywant what's best for Tootie and her baby, and I agree that what Blair is wanting to do would be wonderful for both of them. But yet, Ialsowant what's best forBlair.I want what's best forallmy girls. I know Jo thinks that this would be a good thing for Blair, and she just might be right, but I can't help but have my worries and doubts. You see, Mr. Bradley, when I was seventeen, I did something incredibly foolish and reckless. One night, this salesman came to the house. I let him in and we got to talking. He was so charismatic and charming and…adorable. He had all these dreams. We talked all night. I was convinced I was in love. We eloped."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I was so sure at the time that I knew what I was doing, even though I was young. I was positive that I was ready for marriage." Edna then bitterly chuckled at herself, shook her head, and admitted, "I was nowherenearready. I was not ready to be a wife at seventeen; I was not ready to be a full-grownadultat seventeen, period. I found that out soon enough for myself."

"I can imagine. I've met your ex-husband before. He doesn't strike me as the mature and responsible type. It must not have been easy for you."

"It wasn't. As you've already guessed, Robert wasn't exactly the ideal husband. And on top of that, I had things in my life I wanted so badly to accomplish that I just couldn't after becoming a wife and a mother so soon. As a girl, I always wanted to finish high school, then college. But then six months after Robert and I got married, I found out I was pregnant. Now don't get me wrong. I love my sons more than life itself, and I havenoregrets whatsoever about getting married and bringing them into this world. If I had it to do over again, I would do the same thing so I would have my boys in my life. But still, even though I don't regret getting married and having my children,I do regretthetimingof it. I did go on to get my G.E.D. a little while after my sons were born, and then I took all the required nursing courses and became a registered nurse, and I've always been very proud of that. But I've never been able to finish my four-year degree, and that is a deep regret of mine I have to this very day.

"And now, I look at Blair, and I see myself at that age. I know that Blair isn't just recklessly making this decision on the spur of the moment like I did. I know she's not talking about running off and eloping with a boy she just met two minutes ago. I know she's simply trying to help Tootie, and I admire her for that. I am extremely proud of her for wanting to pitch in and help like this. It's just that I know what happens when you put off going to college.I swore to myselfwhen I first eloped thatI wouldfinish high school and college, come hell or high water, but then things happened in my life unexpectedly and I couldn't. I don't want to see that happen to Blair. She's so bright, and she has so much potential, and I want to see herreachthat potential. I'm so worried that that won't happen if she becomes a mother now. I'm very worried that she's taking on too much, too fast, just like I did. I just don't want her to wind up with the same regrets that I have."

"I know, Edna. I feel the same way. I'm just as concerned about Blair as you are. I guess it's like I said just now: there are no perfect or easy answers."

"There certainly aren't."

"However, I think there comes a time when you basically have to let go and let God. Blair isn't that same snobby little kid you first met at Eastland a few years ago. She hasreallygrown up, andyouare mostly responsible for that. You've raised Blair well. She's matured into a sensitive, caring young lady. Whether you want to admit it or not, sheisan adult now, and itisher life.She'sthe one who ultimately has to decide how to live it. And maybe what's best for Blair isn't what would've been best for you at age eighteen. After all, the two of you are entirely different people."

"That's true," Edna agreed.

"I think the bottom line is, this isn't the kind of situation where you can intervene, give advice, steer the girls in the direction you want them to go, and have everything turn out hunky-dory. I think this is the kind of thing where you have to just stand back, be supportive, and let the girls figure this out for themselves."

"You may be right. It's just so hard to let go. I know I'm not Blair's mother, but after helping to raise her all these years, I'm finding it just as hard to let her go as it was to let my sons go when they were ready to leave home and get out into the world. I know Blair isn't a little girl anymore, but I guess I'm not quite ready to start thinking of her as an adult just yet. I just don't want her to repeat my mistakes. I don't want her to get hurt like I did when I chose to try to grow up too fast at seventeen."

"I understand what you're saying, but getting hurt is part of life. Regardless of whether Blair becomes a mother now or not, she's still going to get hurt no matter what. That can't be avoided. There's nothing you can do about that. What youcando is be there when times get tough."

After Mrs. Garrett mulled over what Stephen said for several moments, she finally smiled and asked him, "When did you start giving such great advice?"

"I guess you must be rubbing off on me," he joked.

It was then that the waitress finally showed up and took their order. After the waitress left, the two friends continued talking and enjoying each other's company, and despite the problems that were going on between Mrs. Garrett and the girls at the moment, she and Mr. Bradley had a pleasant afternoon together.

After Edna left the Mexican restaurant that day, she stayed in town for a little while longer to do some shopping. It was about four that afternoon when she eventually got back to the Eastland campus, and when she entered the cafeteria, she bumped into Blair, who was on her way out to go see Alison and Emily.

"Hello, Mrs. Garrett," Blair said quietly.

"Oh, good. I'm glad I caught you, Blair. Do you think we could sit down a minute and have a little talk?"

"Mrs. Garrett, I'm already late. Alison's expecting me."

"This will only take a couple of minutes. Please, Blair. I know you're probably still angry at me after last night, but it isso importantthat we work this out. We've meant too much to each other over the years to let anything damage our friendship now. Please."

Blair was silent for a brief moment, and then she told Mrs. Garrett, "I'd better go call Alison and let her know it'll be a little while before I get there."

"Thank you," Edna whispered, and then Blair went into the lounge and called Alison on the payphone.

Once Blair was finished speaking with Alison, she and Mrs. Garrett sat down together on the loveseat to try and talk things out.

"Look, Mrs. Garrett," Blair said seriously, "I know I was wrong to bite your head off last night the way I did, and I'm sorry. I realize I was out of line to speak to you like that. But you should know that there is nothing you can say to talk me out of this. My mind is made up about adopting Tootie's baby, and no matter what, you are not going to change that, so can we please just simply agree to disagree and let bygones be bygones?"

Mrs. Garrett's face softened so, and she immediately reached out and took Blair's hand in her own. Then she told her, "Blair, you havenothingto apologize for, and you werenotout of line last night. As a matter of fact, I realized today thatI'mthe one who should apologize. You were right. You were absolutely right about everything you said last night.I havebeen unfairly biased towards your parents and against you girls in the past whenever your parents have done something wrong that has hurt you, and I apologize for that from the bottom of my heart. I always call you girls out on it whenever you do something wrong, but whenever one of your parents or an adult does something wrong and it badly affects you girls, I don't say a word about it; I even have a tendency to take their side over yours in times like that, and that is so very wrong. There's no excuse for that. You were so right that itisa terrible double standard thatI am so guiltyof enabling, and I want you to know that that double standard is going to stop right here, right now. In fact, I'm very grateful to you for speaking up and making me aware of it.

"And there's something else that needs to be said. I know your parents have neverreallybeen parents to you. I've known it all along, and I always knew their behavior hurt you, but I actually fooled myself into believing that it wasn'tthatbig a deal to you; that you were okay in spite of it all. I realize now that I just told myself that over the years because that waseasierfor me to believe than the truth. In other words, I…I swept what they did to you under the rug because I didn't want to deal with it. I know I've never told you girls this, but the truth is, even though you girls aren't my daughters, I often like topretendthat you are in my mind, and I just couldn't bear the thought of you, ofanyof you, believing that your own parents didn't love you. It's for that reason that I basically ran away from this issue and didn't deal with it. But even though I did sweep this whole thing under the rug and even though I didn't face up to it the way I should have, I want you to know thatI do realizethat your parents have emotionally abandoned you all your life just as Jo's father abandoned her when she was younger. And I amso sorryI didn't say this to you before the way Ishouldhave, but I'm saying it now:your parents were wrong to put you through all of that.They were and areso wrongto make their business or their love life a higher priority to them than you are, and I want you to know thatit's their loss,Blair." They were both crying silent tears now as Edna held the side of Blair's face, looked into her eyes, and told her, "Blair Warner, you are a smart, talented, creative, caring, andpricelessyoung lady and youneverdeserved to have your parents reject you the way they did. And I amso sorryI never said that to you before. I know I should have said this to you averylong time ago. But I want you to know thattheyare the ones with the problem,not you.Youalwaysdeserved better. Youalwaysdeserved to have two parents who were involved in your daily life; who regularly spent time with you.

"And I know that it is precisely because you understand the pain of being abandoned by your parents that you are going to be a better parent than either one of them could everhopeto be," Edna assured her, which really surprised Blair in that moment. When she saw the stunned expression on Blair's face, Mrs. Garrett explained, "I never meant to imply last night that I didn't think you had what it takes to be a good mother. I know that whether you become a mother now or several years from now, you are going to be the most attentive and involved parent that any child could ever hope for. It's just that the thought of you taking on so much responsibility so early in your life really worries me, because that's whatIdid. I eloped, Blair, when I was just seventeen years-old, and even though I was so certain I was ready for marriage at the time, I really wasn't. Then when I was eighteen, I got pregnant with my son Raymond, and I had to drop out of high school. By that time, college was out of the question. I certainly don't regret having my sons, but it's always been a major regret of mine that I was never able to get my four-year degree. And on top of that, it was also so hard on me not being able to finish being a teenager. This is a special time in your life when most young people your age get to focus on finding themselves and enjoying their youth before they have to start dealing with all of the responsibilities of adulthood head-on, and I don't want you to miss out on it like I did. It's not that I don't believe in you, Blair. It's not that I don't think you'll be a good mother. And it's definitely not that I don't want what's best for Tootie and her baby. It's just that I know from personal experience that you are choosing a much tougher road like I did, and speaking as your wannabe-mother, I can't help but want a better path for you than the one I walked."

Blair then reached out, took Edna's hand in her own, and gave it a loving squeeze. In the next moment, she said, "Thank you so much for telling me all of that, Mrs. Garrett. It means everything to me to know that you feel that way. I understand what you're trying to tell me, and I really do appreciate your concern.I knowhow important these next few years of my life are, and had things not happened the way they did,I wouldbe going to college next semester. But that's just not the way things have worked out, and I'm okay with that. I never planned on becoming a stay-at-home mother at eighteen, but now that there's this little baby coming into our lives who needs a home, I really am happy about the decision I've made. I realize that I'll be walking a tougher road, but I know I won't have any regrets because it's worth it if it'll help Tootie. If I have to walk a tougher road in order to make sure that Tootie's baby gets adopted by someone we can trust, and if I have to walk a tougher road in order to give Tootie the peace of mind that she deserves, then I'll walk a tougher road, Mrs. Garrett."

Edna fought off tears for several long, silent moments, and then she finally said, "Blair, I don't think I have ever been prouder of you in my life than I am right now." She then pulled Blair into her arms and gave her the longest hug. When the embrace finally ended, she told her, "I still don't like it, Blair. But you do have my support, and I will do anything I possibly can to help you. I willalwaysbe here for you."

"Thank you," Blair whispered as she also fought off fresh tears. "You don't know what a load off my mind this is to finally have this whole thing out in the open. Now I can tell you about all the incredible things that have been going on in my life these past few months."

"I can't wait to hear everything," Mrs. Garrett said with a gentle smile. "I know that you and the Lord have worked things out and that you've temporarily stopped dating. What else have I missed?"

"Well actually, my hiatus from the dating world isn't temporary."

"What do you mean?"

"Now that we're being more open and honest about what my parents put me through as a kid, I'll just come right out and say it: my mother has always beenunbelievablychildish and irresponsible when it comes to dating. If she'd never had me and she only had herself to consider, it wouldn't be as big a deal if she wanted to change boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands every two seconds. But bringing all those men into both her lifeand minewas just ridiculously unfair to me. Especially after she and Daddy got divorced,I yearnedfor a real father in my life, Mrs. Garrett, and every time Mother would just carelessly bring another man into each of our lives, I would believe for a while thatthisnew boyfriend or husband would be the one who would accept me and love me and stay in my life forever. But, that permanent father I always dreamed of having in my life never happened, and that caused mesomuch pain over the years. I may enjoy flirting and dating and juggling boyfriends and playing the field just as much as Mother does, butI will notbe as careless as she always was about it now that I have a child to consider.I will notbe stupid enough to parade one boyfriend after another through my child's life and just thoughtlessly let my child bond with each one, only to get crushed later on when things don't work out. I have to be extremely careful from now on about who I let into my life and I know that, so I have officially made up my mind that the next guy I decide to date is going to be the man that I marry. I absolutelywill notallow my child to bond with any romantic interest of mine unless he's the man who's going to be a permanent part ofbothour lives."

"That's very wise. You'realreadybeing a good mother to your child, and it hasn't even been born yet," Mrs. Garrett said with a smile, which Blair returned.

"And as you know, I've been spending as much time with Alison and little Emily as I can. I know I certainly can't learneverythingthere is to know about taking care of a baby just by babysitting Emily and observing Alison with her, but I'll take all the help I can get. I know first-time parents can neverreallybe prepared for what it's like when they bring their baby home from the hospital, but I want to at leasttryto be as prepared as possible."

"I understand. Oh, Blair, I think you'll do a wonderful job."

"I hope so. This isn't like an algebra test. This is somebody'slife.If I mess this up, it's not like I can work harder to get a better grade on the next test and bounce back. If I don't get this right, my child will suffer, possibly for as long as it lives. I could do lasting psychological damage."

Mrs. Garrett chuckled and said, "Don't worry, dear. You don't have to be perfect. Just do your best and take it one day at a time. All parents make mistakes, but that doesn't mean that you'll do permanent damage to your child every time you do make a mistake. Fortunately, children are very resilient."

"That's what Alison keeps telling me. You know, Ally has really changed. She has grown up so much."

"She's not the only one," Mrs. Garrett said as she lovingly touched Blair's cheek, and it was in that moment that Natalie and Tootie came into the lounge.

"So I take it you guys have made up, huh?" Tootie observed after she sat down on the loveseat on the other side of Blair.

"Of course they've made up," Natalie said happily. "No two people in this family can stay mad at each other for very long. That's an official rule around here as of right now."

"Right you are, Natalie," Edna agreed.

"So you're not mad about the adoption anymore?" Tootie asked, and Mrs. Garrett's face softened.

"I was never angry about the adoption, Tootie. I'mhappythat this baby is going to be adopted into such a wonderful home," Mrs. Garrett told her, and then she and Blair knowingly smiled at one another. "I've just been worried about what this would mean for Blair's education in the future. But even though I do have my concerns, I do also realize that it's Blair's life and Blair's decision, and I respect that."

"I'm happy you feel that way, Mrs. Garrett," Tootie told her. "It means a lot to have your support now. It just would have felt so wrong if we'd had to do this without you on board. You're our leader; our role model."

"That's right," Natalie concurred. "And I know if Jo were here right now and not out at the Beethoven concert with Miss Gallagher, she'd agree too."

"Thanks Natalie, but you girls are leaders in your own right. You haveallgrown up so much, and I just couldn't be prouder of you," Mrs. Garrett said with such tenderness, and it wasn't long before they were all locked in a big group hug.

Chapter 9: She Really is Something

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: She Really is Something

The following Friday, Gail Louise Gallagher officially ended her career as a teacher, and many students said a tearful goodbye to her. However, Jo was the most heartbroken student of them all, yet she somehow managed to hold all her tears in and be strong for her teacher and friend as she said her goodbyes that afternoon. Not everybody knew the real reason why Miss Gallagher had suddenly decided to pack up and leave in the middle of the semester, but it was quite clear that the halls of Eastland would simply never be the same without her presence.

A while after Mrs. Garrett left with Gail to take her to the train station, Blair got a very unexpected visitor: her father. David Warner, Jr., the owner and C.E.O. of Warner Textile Mills, was frequently in business meetings in various cities all over the world. He sometimes spent sixteen hours a day at the office, so to put it mildly, he was quite a workaholic. Not even the Ramseys worshipped their careers as much as Mr. Warner had always worshipped his. To say the least, the kind of life he led left little room for anything else, including his only child. Blair could literally count on one hand how many weeks out of the year she even saw the man, so when he suddenly came walking into the school cafeteria that afternoon, she was understandably surprised.

"Daddy," she said in a rather astonished voice, and then she walked up to him and hugged him, and he gave her an affectionate kiss on the top of her head.

"Hello, Princess," he said with a smile.

"This is quite a surprise. What are you doing here?"

Mr. Warner chuckled and told her, "You're one to talk about surprises. All of the sudden, I just discovered out of the blue that I'm going to be a grandfather."

"You mean Mother never told you before now? I was sure she would."

"Well, you know how tricky communication can be between your mother and me. We made a pact when we got divorced that we wouldn't fight with each other anymore; that whenever we spoke to each other, we'd always keep it civil. That's why we almost never talk to one another."

"Oh, Daddy," Blair sighed, and Mr. Warner chuckled.

"Listen, is there any place we can talk in private?" he asked.

"Sure. We can go into the lounge," Blair replied, and then she led the way to the lounge and he followed behind her. Then they sat down together on the loveseat.

"So you want to adopt your friend's baby, huh?"

Blair smiled and said, "Yes, Daddy, I do. Very much so."

"I spoke to your mother yesterday. She explained the whole situation to me. I'm sorry about what's happened to your friend."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, too."

"She's only fourteen?"

Blair nodded and told him, "Yes. She'll be fifteen in July."

Mr. Warner shook his head. "That's awful, Princess. That's just awful, having to go through something like that so young."

"I know," Blair said seriously. "Tootie's been through a lot."

"I'm sure she has, and I'm very sorry that all this has happened to her. I don't blame you for wanting to do something to help her. But don't you think you're getting a little carried away? Putting off college? Adopting a baby at eighteen? Isn't that a bit much?"

In that moment, Blair was truly taken aback by how easily her father dismissed the importance of the adoption, and she couldn't believe her ears. She couldn't believe he'd just said that her adopting Tootie's baby was "a bit much." She couldn't believe how he was downplaying the situation – not to mention her love for her Eastland family.

"No, I don't think it's 'a bit much' at all," Blair firmly told him. "Daddy, Tootie is one of the closest friends I've ever had. The girls and I…we've become like sisters to each other. We're a family here at Eastland. Tootie is the baby sister I never had. I can't allow her to give up her baby to total strangers and probably never see it again after it's born. If you'd had a baby sister and this had happened to her when she was just fourteen, wouldn'tyoudo what I'm doing? Wouldn'tyoutake care of her baby so she wouldn't have to worry; so she could relax and go back to being a teenager after the baby was born?"

"But what aboutyourteenage years, Princess? You're still so young, yourself. And what about college?"

"I'm still going to go to college. Just not right now. I'll simply wait a few years until the baby's a little older. Right now, I think it's best if I focus on taking care of the baby. I just want to throw myself into being a mother."

Mr. Warner laughed and said, "Blair, you're obviously thinking with your heart and not your head."

"Is that really so wrong?" Blair asked him as she held his gaze with her eyes.

After a long pause, Mr. Warner finally shook his head and responded, "No, I suppose not. You certainly do have a big, generous heart. That's one of the things I love most about you." In that next second, he gently touched her cheek with his fingertips, and she smiled. "However, there is one condition to my supporting this."

"What's that?"

"I want you to hire a live-in nanny to help you take care of the baby while you go to college part-time."

"But Daddy, I just told you...I'm going to wait and go to college a few years later. I want to focus on the baby now."

"Lots of people claim that they'll go back to college later on and then they never do. If adopting this baby is really that important to you, then I won't stand in your way, but I won't have you neglecting your college education, either."

"Daddy, no. I don't want this baby to be raised by a nanny. I want it to be raised byme," Blair insisted.

"I'm sorry, Princess, but my mind's made up. And might I remind you that I have evenbetterconnections in our government than your mother does. I can put a stop to this whole thing any time I want to, so let me make myself clear: either you hire a live-in nanny to help you with the baby while you go to college part-time and work on your degree, or this adoption doesn't happen at all. Is that understood?"

Blair remined silent for a moment, and then she quietly replied, "Yes, Daddy."

"Very well," Mr. Warner said. He then continued to talk with her for several more minutes before saying goodbye to his daughter and heading out to the city to meet with another business executive over dinner.

After her father left, Blair was terribly angry, which Mrs. Garrett quickly picked up on the minute she got back to Eastland and came into the lounge. Blair had her arms folded across her chest and she was furiously pacing back and forth. Tootie entered the lounge a couple of seconds after Mrs. Garrett did, and obviously, she noticed it as well.

"What's the matter, Blair?" asked Mrs. Garrett.

"Yeah, Blair. I could hear you pacing all the way from upstairs," Tootie kidded.

"My father just came for a visit."

"Yeah, I saw Mr. Warner leave a couple of minutes ago," said Tootie. "Did you guys have a fight or something?"

Blair shook her head and answered, "No, we didn't have a fight. As usual, Daddy came sweeping into my life after I haven't seen him or communicated with him in months, and he just took over everything without caring about howIfeel."

"What happened?" Mrs. Garrett inquired.

"Daddy says that if I want to adopt the baby, I have to hire a live-in nanny to help me take care of it while I go to college part-time. He says that if Idon'tagree to do that, he'll pull the plug on the adoption."

"I don't understand, Blair. I don't think that's such a bad thing," Tootie told her.

"It's my life,Tootie. And as you've told me yourself, this ismy baby. Ishould be the one to make that kind of a decision,notmy father, who Imightsee six whole weeks out of the yearifI'm lucky. He has almostnothingto do with my everyday life at all, yet he thinks he has the right to just come in and make a decision like this about howI raise my child?!It's just ridiculous!I don't wantmy child to be raised by nannies like I was! I want my child to be raised byme!"

"Now Blair, let's just calm down a minute, alright?" Mrs. Garrett said gently. "I understand your anger and your frustration. I know how wrong your parents have always been to have such little involvement in your life. I know they've both put you through an awful lot, and I know how important it is to you to not repeat their mistakes. However, just because you'll have someone to help you with the baby doesnotmean that you'll be turning overallof your parental responsibilities to that person. As you just said yourself, this isyour child. Youwill be the one who controls how much time a nanny spends with your child and how much timeyouspend with your child. The nanny may be there to lend a helping hand, but that doesn't mean that you won't be the one raising it. You've been giving Alison and David a lot of help with Emily over these past few months, but you're not the one who's raising Emily, are you?"

After Blair thought it over for a couple of moments, she replied, "No, I'm not."

"Blair, maybe you're not wild about the idea of hiring a nanny, but to be honest, I'm really glad your father's making you hire one so you can go to college part-time. I've been so happy and so relieved ever since we agreed that you would adopt my baby, but I've felt terrible about you sacrificing your college education, too. I've been worried that something might happen in the future that would make it too hard for you to go back to school like you planned. Personally, I'd feel a lot better knowing that you'll still be working on your college degree, and I also think it would be a really good idea for you to have someone to help you with the baby. I don't think you should try to do this all on your own."

"Having someone to help you care for the baby doesn't mean that you'll be abandoning your responsibilities as a mother," Mrs. Garrett reassured her. "You're not your parents, Blair, and you're not going to repeat their mistakes."

Blair remained silent a few more seconds, still mulling it over a bit, and then she eventually smiled. "Looks like I'd better start filling out applications to Langley after all. I'd better hurry; the deadline is next week."

As soon as Blair said that, Mrs. Garrett and Tootie smiled with her. Then Blair went to the guidance counselor's office to pick up an application and get to work on it.

Over the days and weeks ahead, Mrs. Garrett and the girls remained very busy as they prepared for the upcoming graduation ceremony and college, not to mention the birth of the baby. Blair and Jo both got accepted into Langley, and Jo was awarded a scholarship which gave hersomehelp, but not enough. Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek were woefully unprepared for the task of financially providing for their daughter's college education, and when Jo found out justhowunprepared they were, she nearly gave up on trying to go to Langley in the fall. However, she had grown up so much during the past school year that she realized her college education was more important than nearly anything else – even personal pride – and she was smart enough to swallow hers and ask Blair for help. Blair didn't say it to Jo out loud, but the truth was, she would have gladly given her the money she needed for college with no strings attached. Instead of that, though, they agreed that Blair would lend Jo the money she needed and that Jo would pay her back after she finished college. And while Blair wasn't going to be dedicating as much of her time to college life as Jo, she did sign up for a couple of night classes at Langley, which pleased both of her parents, particularly her father. But in those weeks leading up to Tootie's due date, the twentieth of May, Blair's mind was obviouslynoton the two courses she'd be taking at Langley in the fall semester. As Tootie's due date approached, Blair, Mrs. G., and the girls practically kept her under a microscope as everyone was anxiously waiting for the baby. Blair and Mr. Ramsey each finally decided on a house around the first of May, and amazingly enough, the houses they chose were right next door to one another. Once Mr. Ramsey got his house completely furnished, Tootie moved in with her dad – who proved to be just as bad about keeping her under a microscope as Mrs. Garrett and the girls were!

As would be expected, it took Blair longer to furnish her house than it took Mr. Ramsey, but she made up her mind that she would have everything ready and in place by the time Tootie's due date arrived, which she did. Blair's house was two stories with five bedrooms and three bathrooms and a double garage, and the trees, bushes, and array of flowers in the large front and back yards were simply gorgeous, as was the inside of the house. Naturally, when it came to the decorating of her house and especially her baby's nursery, Blair Warner did nothing halfway. When she was finally ready to give Mrs. Garrett and the girls the grand tour, they were all stunned at how exquisite everything was – even Jo – and Tootie particularly was in awe of the nursery.

However, even though they were all very impressed with Blair's new house when she took them on the grand tour of it on the afternoon of Tootie's due date, Blair's house was clearlynotwhat was foremost on their minds that day. The gynecologist Tootie had been seeing in Peekskill, Dr. Camilla Jeffries, had told her and Mrs. Garrett that the baby could come anytime from two weeks before to two weeks after her due date, so to say the least, they were all on pins and needles – except Tootie, that is. Surprisingly, Tootie seemed far more casual about the baby's arrival than anyone. After Blair was finished showing everybody the house and they came back to Eastland that evening to start setting up for dinner, they were all practically tripping over themselves fussing over Tootie, but Tootie was perfectly calm.

"Okay Tootie, now you just come right on in here and sit down," Blair told her as she led the way to the lounge. "You need to put your feet up and relax. You've been up on them for way too long today as it is."

"Blair, I'm alright," Tootie insisted after she, Mrs. Garrett, Nat, and Jo followed Blair into the lounge. "My feet are a little swollen, but it's no big deal. And besides, we don't have time to sit back and relax. We have to get started on dinner, remember?"

"Tootie, I've told you before that you can start taking it easy now until the baby comes," Mrs. Garrett reminded her. "You don't have to worry about kitchen duty right now if you're not up to it."

"Blair and Mrs. Garrett are right, Tootie," Natalie agreed. "You should be getting as much rest as possible now. You'll need all your strength for the big day."

"Yeah, according to Ma, havin' a baby is like runnin' a marathon," said Jo. "You gotta make sure you're all rested up so you'll have plenty of energy when you need it in the delivery room."

"Come on, guys. It's no big deal. Women have babies all the time. And besides, if this baby's anything like my brothers and I were, it'll be quite a while before it finally decides to show up. My mom didn't go into labor with my oldest brother, Harrison, Jr., until she was two weeks overdue. My older brother Marshall didn't come along until she was nine days late. And with me, she was ten days past her due date before I finally came along. I really don't think this baby's coming anytime soon, so you should all just relax."

"Okay, maybe it won't be here for a little while yet, but you still ought to take it easy," Blair argued.

"I'm fine, Blair. I really am. And anyway, I don't want to make a big deal about it. I just want to go about my business like I always do, and simply let the baby get here when it gets here. Now let's just go get started on dinner, alright?"

Everybody sensed it in that moment that Tootie was a little agitated, and they all gave each other a brief, bewildered glance. Then Mrs. Garrett said, "Alright, sweetheart. If you want to help out in the kitchen this evening, that's perfectly alright with us. Come on, everyone. Let's get cracking."

But in that next instant, before they could even think about getting started on dinner, the phone in the kitchen started ringing.

"I'll get it," Jo offered, but Mrs. Garrett quickly shook her head. Something in her gut told her that this phone call wasnotgoing to be good news.

"No, Jo. I'll go answer it," Mrs. G. told her, and then she hurried out to the kitchen to pick up the phone. The girls followed her.

"I wonder what this is all about," Natalie whispered. She, Tootie, and Blair were naturally curious, because it was fairly unusual for anyone to call at that hour using the kitchen's phone line. Whenever anybody called, they almost always used the payphone number, especially in the evenings. Unlike the other girls, though, Jo was not curious, butscared.She had the same gut feeling about this phone call that Mrs. Garrett had.

"I don't know what it could be," Tootie whispered back.

"Eastland School," Mrs. Garrett answered. A moment later, she said, "Yes, this Edna Garrett." Then after another couple of seconds passed, she said, "Oh, hello, Mr. Gallagher." Jo swallowed the instant she heard the name, "Mr. Gallagher." She immediately figured it out that Gail's father was calling the school, and in that very instant, she put two and two together.

After talking to Mr. Gallagher for another minute or so, they said goodbye, and Mrs. Garrett slowly hung up the receiver, looking as though somebody had just punched her in the stomach and knocked all the wind out of her. Jo and the girls had seen this reaction from her only one time before: two years ago when she had learned that an Eastland student named Cynthia had passed away after a suicide attempt.

"What is it, Mrs. Garrett? What's wrong?" Blair asked gently.

"Girls, that was Miss Gallagher's father calling. Blair, Natalie, Tootie, you weren't aware of this, but Miss Gallagher didn't leave Eastland because she'd taken a new job at another school like you thought. She left Eastland because she was ill; gravely ill. She had a brain tumor that was inoperable, and she was dying. She was admitted into a hospital in New York City right after she left Eastland," Mrs. Garrett explained to them in a very deep, serious tone.

"Gail's dead, isn't she?" Jo asked in the same serious voice, locking her eyes with Mrs. Garrett's.

After a long pause, Mrs. Garrett reluctantly answered, "Yes. According to Gail's father, she died about half an hour ago."

The moment Mrs. Garrett said that,allthe girls looked like they'd just been punched in the gut, just as she did. And that feeling continued over the next couple of days as they all attended the visitation and then later the funeral in Manhattan. Despite the fact that Tootie was now past her due date, she insisted on going with Mrs. Garrett and the girls to pay her final respects. Mr. Ramsey and Mr. Bradley went with them as well, in addition to the entire Eastland faculty and almost the entire student body.

Miss Gallagher's death was a real blow to everyone, especially Jo, but for Tootie's sake, everyone attempted to pick up and move on with their normal routine as quickly as possible. The next several days remained tense as everybody was busy licking their wounds from Miss Gallagher's passing and waiting for the baby to finally arrive. The school year didn't officially end until the fifteenth of June, and graduation was scheduled on the twentieth. Fortunately, since Tootie had known the baby would be coming weeks before that, she was smart enough to plan ahead and get all her assignments finished early. She even arranged to take all her final exams before the month of May was up, which really pleased her father. On the last Friday of May that year, she finished her last final exam and she officially completed her freshman year of high school. Given everything she and the girls were going through at the time, the extra work had actually been pretty therapeutic. It had been helpful to her to focus on something besides Miss Gallagher's passing and the anticipation of labor.

Tootie had officially been one week overdue when she completed the last of her final exams, and while she remained unusually nonchalant about how late her baby was, her father, the girls, and even Mrs. Garrett were practically going out of their minds. That remained the case as she went eight, nine, ten, and eleven days past her due date. However, when Tootie went to bed on the thirty-first of May, she had an extremely uncomfortable night as she kept getting the worst cramps in her abdomen and lower back. She tossed and turned in her room at her father's house, but no matter how hard she tried, she wasn't able to get a wink of sleep. In spite of the fact that she hadn't slept, though, and was obviously not feeling that great, she still insisted to her father that she wanted to go to school that next morning. Despite the fact that she didn't need to attend class, she still wanted very much to be near her friends, so Harrison didn't question it even though he could clearly see that his daughter was not feeling well at all that day.

After Tootie and her father finished breakfast that morning, she went back into her bedroom to get her backpack. Just as she entered her room and bent down to pick it up, though, she felt a sudden gush of fluid spew out from between her legs. Tootie looked down in that moment and saw the puddle of clear fluid on the carpet, confirming her worst suspicions.

"Oh, God," she gasped.

Tootie realized it then that sheshouldtell her father the truth, that she had gone into labor, and have him take her to the hospital. And in fact, thatiswhat a grown woman would have done. However, Tootie wasnota grown woman; she was a fourteen-year-old little girl who was scared to death. While everybody else around her had been looking forward to the birth of the baby, Tootie had been absolutelydreadingit, which was why she'd been so insistent that they not make a big deal about it. She hadn't wanted to think about it or face it at all. Understandably, she waspetrifiedof the agony of labor and childbirth, and she simply did not want to face what was happening to her body at the moment. She just wanted to be a regular fourteen-year-old girl and go to school and spend time with all her friends like it was any other day, so instead of telling her father about her water breaking, she quickly changed her underwear and clothes and had him take her to school.

When Tootie walked into the kitchen that morning, she tried very hard to go on as if it was business as usual, but it wasn't long before the labor pains got the best of her. As Tootie was walking over to the counter with a bowl of pancake batter, a contraction seized her abdomen and lower back, and she suddenly dropped the bowl, stiffened, grabbed her back, and let out a scream.

"Tootie!" Mrs. Garrett cried out as they all rushed to her side.

"Tootie, are you okay?" asked Blair.

"Oh, God. This is it, isn't it?" questioned Natalie.

Tootie fervently shook her head and told them, "No, guys. It's nothing. It's just a cramp in my back. That's all. I probably just slept in a weird position last night."

"You know, contractions can affect your back, too. My mom had back labor for days before I was born," said Jo.

"It's not labor, Jo. It's just a little back cramp. I'm fine," Tootie insisted. However, she wasn't able to be very convincing because in the next moment, her body betrayed her with another contraction, causing her to stiffen up again and let out another yell.

Mrs. Garrett then placed a reassuring hand on Tootie's shoulder and gently said to her, "Tootie, I think we would all feel a little better if you let me take you to see the school nurse so she can examine you, just to be safe."

Again, Tootie vehemently shook her head, and then she yelled, "No! I'm not going to the school nurse and I'm not going into labor! I'm just not!"

In the next moment, she furiously stomped away upstairs and locked herself in the girls' room.

"Mrs. Garrett, what are we going to do?" asked a very worried Blair. "Something's obviously wrong with Tootie, whether it's labor or not, and she clearly needs to see the nurse."

"Yeah, but with the way she's acting now, she won't listen to reason," said Natalie.

"Young women in labor almost never do," Mrs. Garrett knowingly told them. Thankfully, Edna Garrett had not only given birth twice herself, but had also assisted in quite a few deliveries back in her days as a registered nurse, and based on all her experience, she knew in her gut how she needed to handle the situation. "I'll go upstairs and talk to her. In the meantime, you girls take care of breakfast, alright?"

"Yes, Mrs. Garrett," Blair said.

In the following moment, Mrs. Garrett walked upstairs, and when she was just outside the girls' bedroom door, she tried unsuccessfully to turn the knob. Then she gently knocked on the door.

Tootie was lying on Jo's bed on her right side, rocking back and forth with her fists clenched as another contraction was taking hold of her. When she heard a second knock, she furiously cried out through clenched teeth, "Go away! Just leave me alone!"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I'm afraid I can't do that," came Mrs. Garrett's warm, gentle voice from the other side of the door. "I'm worried about you. We all are." Tootie remained silent for several long moments as she waited for her back and abdominal muscles to relax again. "Tootie, are you alright, honey? Can you please talk to me?" Mrs. Garrett asked then.

"I'm fine. I just don't want to see anybody or talk to anybody right now," Tootie answered in a much calmer voice.

"I don't blame you. I didn't want to have anything to do withanyonein the last two weeks of my pregnancies with my sons. The whole world just becomes such an irritating place, doesn't it?"

Tootie chuckled and said, "You can say that again."

"I know, dear. I know. This time in a young lady's life is never a lot of fun."

"I just wish it was all over with. I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want to be in labor. I don't want to be in agony in some delivery room. I just want my life to be back to normal again."

"I know," Mrs. Garrett said kindly. "But look on the bright side. It won't be much longer now. This will all be over before you know it, and then, you can go right back to being a teenager. I know itfeelslike it, but this won't last forever."

Before Tootie could respond, she started getting another contraction, and she let out a cry. The only way she could get through it this time was to moan her way through it, and as Mrs. Garrett heard her, she said, "That's right, sweetheart. That's it. Just let it all out. You're doing great." And all the while Mrs. Garrett was coaching Tootie through the contraction, she was also keeping a close eye on her watch, timing it.

"It's really awful, Mrs. Garrett," Tootie said quietly after the contraction ended.

"I know, honey," she told her sympathetically. "I know."

"I don't want to be in labor."

"I know. I know this is a very scary thing, especially for someone as young as you are. I know you're frightened, and I don't blame you. It's okay to feel scared. I was scared, too, when I went into labor for the first time with my son Raymond. I won't try to tell you that this is going to be easy, Tootie, because it's not. I'll level with you. This is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. But even though it won't be easy, everythingisgoing to be alright. You and the baby are going to be just fine because we're all going to take care of you. I'm going to be right there with you through the whole thing, and so is Blair. It'll be tough, but you won't be alone."

When Mrs. Garrett told her that, Tootie got up from Jo's bed, unlocked the door, and opened it. The moment the door opened, Mrs. Garrett wrapped her arms around Tootie and lovingly kissed the top of her head. As Mrs. Garrett embraced her, Tootie broke down and started crying, so Mrs. Garrett led her over to the side of Blair's bed, sat down with her, and began rocking her.

"You and the girls have been going on and on throughout this whole pregnancy about how courageous I am, but the whole time, I've been so scared inside, Mrs. Garrett," Tootie admitted. "All along, I've just been barely holding onto my courage by my fingernails. I don't think I can hold onto it any longer. I don't think I can find the courage to do this. I'm so terrified. This is too much. This is more than I can handle."

"Tootie, you've told me before that I'm your role model. Well let me tell you something: after watching you over the past school year, how incredible you've been through all of this,youhave becomemyrole model. I have never witnessed such strength and courage in my life. I know how afraid you are, but believe me,you dohave enough courage to get through this. I know it doesn'tfeellike it right now, but youarestrong enough to handle it. And like I said, you won't be alone. Blair and I will be right there in the delivery room with you, just like we agreed. We're all going to get through this together. I promise you."

A couple of silent moments passed, and then Tootie looked up into Mrs. Garrett's eyes and reluctantly nodded. In the next instant, Mrs. Garrett gave her another kiss on the top of head and continued rocking her.

A couple of minutes later, Tootie started having another contraction, and she let out a cry and tensed up in Mrs. Garrett's arms.

"Oh, sweetheart, I know it's hard, but try not to tense up so much. That only makes it worse," Mrs. G. explained. "Try to relax as much as you can," she whispered as they rocked together, and Tootie then calmed down a little and managed to relax somewhat. "That's it, love. That's it. You're doing beautifully, Tootie. You're doing just great."

The contraction finally passed about thirty seconds later, and when it did, Tootie told Mrs. Garrett, "I didn't say anything, but the truth is, my water broke before I left for school this morning. I just changed my clothes and came to school because I didn't want to face it. I just wanted to come here and be with you and the girls."

"Oh, precious," Mrs. Garrett said lovingly, and then she planted yet another kiss on the top of Tootie's head. "It's okay. The girls and I are all going to go the hospital with you. We're all going to be right here with you, alright?" Tootie nodded, and then she and Mrs. Garrett stood up together and slowly walked down the stairs in a half-embrace.

When they got to the bottom of the stairs, Mrs. Garrett said, "Girls, listen up. We're having a baby today. Blair, grab your purse. You'll be riding to the hospital with Tootie and me. Jo, Natalie, you two get finished cooking, serving, and cleaning up, and then talk to Molly, Cindy, Nancy, and Sue Ann and let them know that they'll have to take care of lunch and supper today. After you've spoken with them, then you guys come to the hospital, too." Molly, Cindy, Nancy, and Sue Ann had all volunteered ahead of time to take over for Mrs. Garrett and the girls in the kitchen and cafeteria when Tootie went into labor so that they all could be with her at the hospital.

"Understood, Mrs. G.," said Jo.

"Tootie, your father's on his way to work right now, isn't he?" asked Mrs. Garrett.

"Yeah. He's probably already left the train station."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Garrett. We have Mr. Ramsey's number at work. I'll call him and tell him to meet us at the hospital as soon as Jo and I get finished cleaning up after breakfast," Natalie assured her.

"Thank you, Natalie. Tootie, Blair, are you ready to go?" Mrs. G. asked.

"I'm ready, Mrs. Garrett," Blair answered as she put her purse strap over her shoulder. "You ready, Tootie?" she asked gently as she looked into Tootie's eyes.

After a pause, Tootie nodded. And then with Tootie sandwiched between Mrs. Garrett and Blair, their arms wrapped around each other, they walked out the back kitchen door together and headed for the hospital.

Soon after they arrived, Tootie was sent back to one of the labor rooms in the maternity ward, and Blair and Mrs. Garrett were right there with her. Dr. Jeffries, a short, lovely, dark-skinned black lady in her forties, got there a few minutes later and examined Tootie and found that she was five centimeters dilated.

After she was done examining her and Blair and Mrs. Garrett came back in the room, Dr. Jeffries said, "You're halfway there, Tootie. You are five centimeters dilated and fifty percent effaced. You're coming right along."

"Will this be over with soon?" Tootie anxiously asked.

"Well honey, that's a little hard to say," the kind doctor replied. "It varies from patient to patient. Labor can be pretty unpredictable. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but it can often take a while, especially with first pregnancies."

When Dr. Jeffries said that, Tootie leaned her head back against the pillow and groaned. Mrs. Garrett gave her a sympathetic smile and laid a loving hand on her forehead.

"Hang in there, sweetie," Mrs. Garrett said. "We'll get there. I promise you."

Blair took her hand then and said, "It'll be alright, Tootie. We'll get through it."

"Of course we will," Dr. Jeffries agreed. "Women have been doing this for thousands of years."

"That's right," Mrs. Garrett concurred.

"I'll just be so glad when all of this is finally over. It feels like it'snevergoing to end!" Tootie complained.

"I know it does, love," said Dr. Jeffries. "It's always felt that way to every patient I've ever had, but even though to all my patients itfeltlike it would never end, it did. You have been carrying this baby for over nine months now and it mayfeellike it's just going to go on forever, but the finish line is in sight. You are almost there, so you just keep that chin up."

"I'll try," Tootie sighed, and then after Dr. Jeffries gave her a warm smile, she left.

Jo and Natalie got to the hospital a little while later that morning, and they were eventually joined in the waiting room by Mr. Ramsey and Mr. Bradley, as well as Jo's boyfriend Paul. Natalie and Mr. Ramsey both went back to Tootie's room several times to check on her and spend a little time with her while Jo, who was a little more squeamish, stayed out in the waiting room with her boyfriend. As the contractions continually got worse, though, it eventually became too much for Mr. Ramsey to take. He just couldn't handle seeing his little girl in so much pain, so he excused himself and stepped outside.

It was a few minutes past one that afternoon when Mr. Ramsey went out for a breath of fresh air, and a little while later, he was joined by Mr. Bradley.

"Hello, Mr. Ramsey," he said as he approached him, and Mr. Ramsey turned to face him.

"Hello, Mr. Bradley. It's good to see you again."

"Likewise. How are you holding up?"

He let out a long sigh, and then he honestly replied, "I've had better days."

"Yeah," Mr. Bradley said quietly.

Harrison then bitterly laughed at himself, shook his head, and said, "You know, I never will forget when I first came to visit Tootie at Eastland. I can't get over what a fool I was."

"What do you mean?"

"I was expecting an eleven-year-old to act like a twenty-year-old and have her whole life and her whole future all mapped out. When my eleven-year-old kid wasactinglike an eleven-year-old kid, simply having fun playing with her friends, I got my underwear in a bunch and went crazy. I wanted her to grow up so fast. I wanted her to already be making plans for her future career. Now that all of this has happened to her, she's had to grow uptoofast, and it just breaks my heart.I wantTootie to have her childhood back.Iwanther to be a kid again. I'd give anything if I could undo what's been done to my daughter; give her back her childhood; her innocence. My baby's too young to be going through this."

"I know," Mr. Bradley said seriously. "I know it's not fair what Tootie's going through. We've all been pretty heartbroken by it. But fortunately, Tootie is one of the strongest, most resilient people I've ever met, and she's surrounded by people who just adore her. I know it won't be easy, but shewillcome through this, and shewillbe alright."

Harrison nodded and said, "I know she will. I know now how strong she is; how amazing she is. You remember one of the things I said when I was talking to you during my Career Day visit? Tootie skated out of the room, and then you looked at me and said, 'She really is something, isn't she?' And then I said, 'Not yet. But I'd like her tobecomesomething.' That whole conversation feels like it happened a hundred years ago. Things are so different now. Back in those days, I basically believed a person's entire worth was measured by a college degree and what kind of career they had.I cannot believeI was honestly so stupid as to say that Tootie wasn't 'something' yet. I reallywasthat stupid, though. I actuallydidhave the mindset that Tootie didn't have any worth to society until she graduated college and began her career.I am so embarrassed by that now.Not only is Tootie something; she ismoreat age fourteen than I could everhopeto be no matter how many more years I live on this earth or how many more legal accomplishments or college degrees I get under my belt."

"You won't get any argument from me," Mr. Bradley told him. "Your daughter is an extraordinary young woman, Mr. Ramsey. I think throughout this whole pregnancy, we'veallbeen pretty much in awe of her." After several long, silent moments, he looked Mr. Ramsey in the eyes and said, "She really is something, isn't she?"

Another long moment passed, and then Harrison said what he knew heshouldhave said thefirsttime: "Yes, my daughter reallyissomething, Mr. Bradley. She is something indeed."

As Tootie continued bravely working her way through the contractions back in her room in the maternity ward that day, she only proved just how right the two men were about her. She had been terrified when she'd gone into labor, understandably, but with Mrs. Garrett, Blair, and Natalie by her side, she managed to hold onto her courage. Unfortunately, what Dr. Jeffries had told her about labor taking longer with first pregnancies held true for Tootie, and her labor continued to drag on into the afternoon and evening hours. At three o'clock, Tootie was at eight centimeters and in transition, and it was then that she finally couldn't take the pain anymore and asked for an epidural. In the past few weeks leading up to the delivery, Blair had hoped Tootie would have a natural childbirth, but Tootie had long since decided that after all she had already been through that school year, she was going to make it as easy on herself as possible in the delivery room.

Thankfully, labor began progressing more quickly after she went into transition, and at around five that evening, she was fully dilated and effaced and ready to push at long last. After two more hours of sweat, tears, pain, and very hard work in the delivery room, the end wasfinallyin sight for Tootie.

"You're doing great, Tootie. You're doing just great," Dr. Jeffries encouraged her. Dr. Jeffries, an OB nurse, Mrs. Garrett, and Blair now surrounded Tootie's bed in the delivery room, all of them in scrubs, masks, and gloves. Tootie was in a hospital gown, of course, with sweat pouring down her face. Mrs. Garrett had a wet washcloth in her hand and was continuously mopping her brow. "I can see the baby's head," Dr. Jeffries announced in that moment, and Tootie then cried tears of relief.

"Oh, Tootie, you're doing it!" Mrs. Garrett excitedly cried out. "You're almost there!"

"You're incredible, Tootie!" Blair said aloud as she was religiously clinging to Tootie's hand. "You're just incredible!"

"You certainly are!" Mrs. Garrett agreed. "Oh Tootie, I'm just so proud of you!"

A couple of seconds later, Tootie took a deep breath, squeezed Blair's hand, and started pushing again. Mrs. Garrett had one arm behind Tootie's back and was holding her up, and when she saw her start to push again, she held her up and leaned her forward a little more.

Within a few seconds, Dr. Jeffries announced, "The head's out now, Tootie. Just one more push and we'll have ourselves a baby."

"Oh, Tootie, we're so close!" Blair said so happily.

As Mrs. Garrett then mopped Tootie's face with the washcloth, she looked into her eyes and asked, "Tootie, do you have any idea how much I love you?"

Tootie looked up into her eyes in that second, smiled through her tears, and nodded, and then Mrs. Garrett kissed her cheek.

A few more seconds passed, and then Tootie had another contraction and began to push while Mrs. Garrett held her up and she held onto Blair's hand for dear life.

Several moments later at precisely one minute after seven, Dr. Jeffries announced, "It's a girl."

Mrs. Garrett then practically shouted in jubilation and laughed and cried at the same time, and Blair said to Tootie through tears of her own, "You did it, Tootie! You did it!"

"Oh, Tootie, you did such a wonderful job! I'm just so proud of you!" Mrs. Garrett cried out, and then she leaned Tootie back down so she could rest her tired head on the pillow and relax.

Tootie was concerned as the delivery room remained silent for several long seconds, but then the baby girl let out a loud cry of protest at being forced to leave her previously warm, comfortable world, and that caused Tootie, Blair, and Mrs. G. to cry even more happy, relieved tears themselves.

Over the next few minutes, Dr. Jeffries and the nurse cut the cord, cleaned the baby up, examined her, and weighed her. Then the doctor said, "Good news. We have a beautiful, perfectly healthy, seven pound, two ounce baby girl."

In the next moment, the doctor wrapped the baby in a pale pink blanket and gently placed her in Tootie's arms.

Tootie had been afraid that the baby would look like Earl and that she would be reminded of him every time she looked at it, but mercifully, that was not the case. The baby's skin was considerably darker than Tootie's like Earl's, and her nose was somewhat similar to his, but with those exceptions, the baby was the very image of Tootie as a newborn. Regardless of whatever physical similarities the baby might have had to her biological father, though, Tootie's heart really melted as she looked at her for the first time.

After Tootie and the baby were moved to a private room, Tootie fed and rocked the baby and held it close for over an hour. Although Blair was certainly anxious to hold her new adoptive daughter for the first time, she was patient and perfectly respectful of Tootie's feelings, and she made no attempt to rush her. So understandably, it was an extremely poignant moment, both for Blair and Mrs. Garrett, when Tootie eventually looked down at the baby and said, "I think it's time you met your mother now."

Blair had to fight off tears in the following moments as she walked up to Tootie's bed and slowly and carefully took the baby from Tootie's arms into her own.

"Hi, little baby," Blair gasped as tears visibly flowed down her cheeks. Mrs. Garrett, who was standing in front of the chair beside Tootie's bed, quickly moved and made the way for Blair to sit down with the baby. "Look at you. You really are something, aren't you?"

"Yes, Blair," Tootie agreed. "She really is something."

"Aren't you the most gorgeous little baby girl ever?" Blair said to her in baby talk. It was another poignant moment for all of them then when Blair looked over at Tootie and asked, "What's her name?" They had never talked about it or agreed that Tootie would be the one to name her, but Tootie knew as Blair looked at her in that instant that Blair was showing her a sign of respect for all the pain she'd just endured to bring her adoptive daughter into the world.

A minute or two passed as Tootie thought it over, and then she answered, "Danielle Louise."

"Oh, Tootie, that'sbeautiful," said Mrs. Garrett.

"Itisbeautiful, Tootie," Blair agreed with a big smile. "Welcome to the world, Miss Danielle Louise Warner. Oops! I mean, welcome to the world, Your Royal Highness,PrincessDanielle Louise Warner."

Tootie giggled, and Mrs. Garrett playfully rolled her eyes.

"How did you decide on the name, Tootie?" Mrs. Garrett asked.

"I'm naming her Danielle after Daniel from the Bible. His faith in God helped him survive getting thrown into a lion's den and even getting thrown into fire. After everything that's happened to me over the past year, I've realized that in order to survive in this world, a person's going to need to be as courageous and faithful to God as Daniel was."

"Amen to that," Mrs. Garrett heartily agreed.

"And I'm calling her Louise after Miss Gallagher. Louise was also her middle name."

"That's lovely, Tootie," Blair said seriously as she thought of Miss Gallagher's untimely death.

"And anyway, I've always loved the name Louise. I even had an imaginary friend when I was a little girl that I called Louise."

Mrs. Garrett then bent over and gently touched the top of Baby Danielle's forehead, and she said, "I think that's the perfect name for her."

"I think so, too," Blair agreed. "It really fits her."

"Well, if you girls will excuse me, I think I'll go out and give everybody the good news now," Mrs. Garrett told them.

Tootie looked a bit concerned then as she asked, "Will you come back to see me before you leave tonight?"

"Of course I will, honey," Mrs. Garrett warmly replied. And while Blair remained too mesmerized by the sight of her new adopted daughter to say anything to Mrs. G., she blew a kiss to Tootie and walked out the door.

Chapter 10: Our House

Chapter Text

Chapter 10: Our House

It was twenty minutes after eight that evening before Mrs. Garrett finally emerged. She knew she should have left much sooner than she did to go out and give everybody the good news, but she just hadn't been able to tear herself away from Tootie and the baby until then. She knew Dr. Jeffries had been called away to take care of another woman in labor that had just arrived at the hospital minutes after Baby Danielle was born, so she wasn't sure if anyone had gone to talk to everybody else yet.

And the instant she saw the look on Mr. Ramsey's face, she knew they hadn't been notified. The poor man looked absolutely sick with worry, and as Mrs. Garrett walked up to him in her blue-green scrubs, she could see it that he was almost crying.

"My little girl?" he said to her in a shaky voice.

Mrs. Garrett then put her hands on his upper arms, and he responded by doing the same, and she told him gently, "It's alright, Mr. Ramsey. Tootie's alright. She was very brave, and she came through it well."

Harrison heaved a sigh of relief in that moment, and his entire body visibly relaxed. "Thank You, Jesus," he whispered.

"And the baby?" asked a worried Natalie. Now, practically half of the entire Eastland student body and most of the faculty was out in the hospital waiting room. Everybody else was sitting down, but Mr. Bradley, Natalie and Jo stood up the second they saw Mrs. Garrett. Jo was now quietly standing behind Natalie with one hand on Nat's shoulder.

"The baby is a beautiful, healthy little girl," Mrs. Garrett assured them, and then Natalie and Jo instantly hugged each other. Everybody else got up a couple of seconds later and began hugging and celebrating as well. "She weighs seven pounds, two ounces, and her name is Danielle Louise."

"Aw," Natalie said with a big smile. "I can't wait to see her. I can't wait to see Tootie, either."

"I'm not usually into babies, but I have to admit it that I'm really lookin' forward to seein' the kid, myself," Jo confessed.

"Well girls, I think it'll be a little while yet before Tootie and Danielle are ready for visitors. Tootie's been through an awful lot today," Mrs. Garrett reminded them.

"I don't doubt it," Harrison said seriously. "However, Iwouldlike to see my daughter this evening if the doctors will permit it."

"I'm sure they will," said Mr. Bradley.

"Natalie, Jo, I think it's better if you girls headed on home and waited to visit Tootie and Danielle tomorrow morning. We ought to let Tootie get some rest," Mrs. Garrett told them.

"Right, Mrs. G.," Jo agreed. "Come on, Nat. Let's get back to school."

"Okay, Jo," said Natalie, and then after exchanging pleasantries and goodbyes with Mr. Ramsey and Mr. Bradley and everybody else, she and Jo got on Jo's bike and went back home.

A few minutes later, Tootie's father came to see her. Tootie had only nibbled at her breakfast that morning, and that had been all the food she'd had through the day so understandably, she was pretty starved, which was why she was wolfing down the dinner they brought her when her dad walked through the door.

"Hi, sweetheart," he said warmly as he walked into the room, and then they hugged.

"Hi, Dad," Tootie responded, and then she went right back to eating.

Harrison chuckled and asked her, "Is somebody hungry?"

"I didn't have a lot to eat at breakfast this morning, and I haven't had a chance to really eat much of anything all day. And Ihavebeen working pretty hard throughout the day, you know," she reminded him.

"You certainly have been. Eat away. Please."

"Have you seen Danielle?" Tootie asked between bites.

"Not yet. Speaking of my granddaughter, where is she?"

"Blair took her out to the waiting room to show her off to everybody. You probably missed her."

"Right," Harrison said, and then he remained silent for a long moment. Finally, he told his daughter, "You know, Tootie, it's not too late to change your mind about the adoption."

Tootie stopped eating in that moment, and then she said to her dad, "I don't want to change my mind, Dad, and besides, I already signed the papers a little while ago. I love Danielle more than anything, but I can't take care of her the way Blair can. I'm not ready to accept all of the responsibility for Danielle's entire life. I realized that the moment I first held her in my arms. I'm just a kid, and I know that. I'm not ready to be a full-grown adult right now, and I'm certainly not ready to be a mother right now, either."

Harrison nodded and said, "I understand. I just wanted to remind you that I'm behind you should you decide you didn't want to go through with the adoption."

"I appreciate that, but I know this is the best thing for both of us. Besides, Danielle will be living right next door to us. We'll see her all the time."

"That's true. I'm very grateful to Blair for everything she's doing. It means a great deal to me to know that Danielle will always be nearby."

"It means a great deal to me, too."

Harrison took a seat in one of the chairs next to Tootie's bed then, and he joked, "I am certainly starting to feel a bit over the hill now that I'm an old grandpa."

Tootie laughed a little and told him, "Come on, Dad. You're not that old."

"It feels that way, though, especially when I see how grown-up you are. You may still be a kid, Tootie, but your decision to step aside in order to do what you feel is best for Danielle – and to allow yourself to remain a teenager a while longer – is in fact the most adult decision you've ever made. I don't think I've ever been prouder of you. And even though you and your mother have had your share of problems between you during these past several months, I know she's just as proud of you as I am."

"Have you called Mom and told her about the baby yet?" asked Tootie.

"Not yet. I will when I get home."

Tootie nodded, and then she simply continued eating in silence for the next couple of minutes until she finished everything on her plate. Once she was through, Harrison asked, "So outside of the hunger, how have you been feeling tonight since the delivery? How's the pain?"

"Dr. Jeffries ordered some pain medication for me. One of the nurses gave it to me after I was brought here to my room. I'm still having some pain, but since I took the pain medicine, it's not nearly as bad as it was."

"I'm so glad to hear that. Speaking as a man, I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through today. I've really been worried about you, darling."

"I won't try to pretend it was easy. Mrs. Garrett told me this would be the hardest thing I've ever done, and she was right. It was. But I'm still glad I did it. I know it was worth it to give Danielle life."

Harrison looked into his daughter's eyes in that moment and told her with great respect, "Tootie, you really are something."

Tootie smiled and said, "Thanks, Dad. Wait 'til you see Danielle. She really is something, too."

"I don't doubt it if she's anything like you," Harrison said lovingly, and then the father and daughter simply sat together in silence for the next few minutes.

Finally, Blair returned, cradling Baby Danielle in her arms – who was now all decked out in the most adorable pink and purple baby pajamas from Bloomingdale's. Blair was still so enraptured by her new adoptive daughter that she hadn't even changed out of the blue-green scrubs from the delivery room yet, which she certainly would have done a long time ago under different circ*mstances. Now, though, she simply couldn't get her mind off Danielle.

"Ah, Blair," Harrison said with a smile as he rose from his seat.

Blair returned the smile and said, "Hello, Mr. Ramsey. I don't think you've had the chance to meet our new little princess yet."

"No, I haven't."

"Mr. Ramsey, meet Danielle," Blair said as she gently placed the infant in his arms. "Danielle, meet your Grandpa Ramsey."

"Oh, my," he gasped as a tiny tear escaped from one of his eyes. "Hello there, little lady." Danielle then cooed in response, and Harrison, Blair, and Tootie all laughed. "Tootie, this is just like holding you when you were a baby."

"You know, we've all been saying the same thing," Blair agreed. "Danielle looks so much like Tootie's baby pictures."

"She sure does," Harrison concurred. "You are just the most precious little baby in the world, aren't you?" he whispered, and again, she cooed. "And you're as talkative as your birth mother," he kidded, and Blair and Tootie giggled a bit.

Harrison spent the next twenty minutes or so holding Danielle and getting acquainted with her, and then when both Tootie and Baby Danielle yawned at the same time, he and Blair took that as their cue to say goodnight. Mrs. Garrett remained true to her word and she returned to see Tootie shortly after Blair and Mr. Ramsey left her room, but since Tootie was clearly exhausted, she only stayed about a minute or so before she said goodnight as well.

Molly, Cindy, Nancy, and Sue Ann were nice enough to take over in the kitchen and cafeteria for Mrs. G. in the girls all day the following day, which allowed all of them to go to the hospital and spend the day with Tootie and Baby Danielle. Dr. Jeffries informed them that Tootie and Danielle were both in excellent shape and could go home the next morning, which they were all glad to hear. Like Tootie, Blair, too, had chosen to finish all her schoolwork and final exams early, so she now had plenty of free time to take Danielle home from the hospital tomorrow and start caring for her.

Mrs. Garrett and Mr. Ramsey stayed at the hospital until around noon, and then they sensed that the Four Musketeers really wanted to just hang out together for a while, so they bowed out. Natalie, who was clearly the most dramatic and the biggest worrier of all the girls, couldn't stop fussing over Tootie. She asked her countless times if she was alright and kept fluffing her pillows for her and offering to bring in more blankets in case she was cold, which made Tootie laugh a little. And naturally, as Tootie's best friend, Natalie proved to be Danielle's most possessive aunt. She held her for the longest time and absolutely refused to turn her over to anyone else, even Blair or Tootie. Jo, however, did get a chance to hold her eventually, and while she tried to act all tough and nonchalant about it, they could all plainly see the tenderness in her eyes as she looked down at her.

And while the girls spent the day getting acquainted with little Danielle, they all got to talking about the big changes that were going to be happening in their lives starting next semester. Jo would be living in the dorm at Langley and Blair and Tootie would each be living in their own homes, obviously, all the while Natalie would be the only one of the four of them living at Eastland with Mrs. Garrett. Their happy mood turned pretty somber when it hit them that the Four Musketeers would be officially breaking up next semester. But then they got to doing some brainstorming, and by the time Mrs. Garrett came back to the hospital later that evening, they had come up with what they were sure was the perfect solution to their dilemma.

After knocking on Tootie's hospital door and walking inside, Mrs. Garrett said, "Good evening, girls."

"Evenin', Mrs. G.," said Jo.

Mrs. Garrett then walked up to the chair next to Tootie's bed that Blair was sitting in with Danielle in her arms, and she smiled, bent over, and kissed the baby's forehead. "Hello, Danielle," she said in a funny baby voice, and Danielle responded with some lively cooing, which made Mrs. Garrett laugh. "Oh, Blair, Tootie, I can't wait to babysit her," Mrs. Garrett told them a moment later.

In that instant, all the girls looked at each other knowingly, and then Mrs. G. said, "Uh oh, girls. I don't like those looks on your faces." Then she held up a finger and started jokingly wagging it at them and teased, "You're all up to something."

"You can relax, Mrs. Garrett. It's nothing bad," Blair assured her. "We've just been doing a lot of talking today about our situation. Or rather, what our situation is going to be next semester."

"Things have been so crazy lately that we haven't really had a chance to slow down and think about what things are going to be like for us in the fall. We've all been getting ready for our final exams and graduation, not to mention the arrival of this little one," Natalie explained as she lovingly touched Danielle's cheek. "And not to mention…you know, Miss Gallagher," she said more soberly then, and everyone got solemnly quiet for a moment, especially Jo. "But today, for the first time, we finally got the chance to really start thinking about what's going to happen to us next semester. Tootie will be living with her dad. Blair and Danielle will be living in their house. Jo will be living in the dorms at Langley. Mrs. Garrett, and you and I will be the only ones left who will still be living at Eastland."

"Yeah, that's true, Natalie," Mrs. Garrett said seriously. "It'll be a big change."

"It'll be more than a big change, Mrs. Garrett. We'll be splitting up. We won't be living together as a family anymore," said Tootie.

"However, it doesn't have to be that way," Jo chimed in. "We've all been doin' some talkin' today, and we've made a big decision."

"Oh? And what big decision is that, girls?" Mrs. G. inquired.

"As you already know, Mrs. Garrett, I have a five-bedroom house right next door to Tootie's and her dad's place. I have my room and Danielle has her nursery, and Tootie has her own room, too. That leaves two vacant bedrooms. It'll be less expensive for Jo if she moves into one of them and lives with me rather than in the dorm. And we were thinking that Natalie and Tootie can share Tootie's bedroom, and you can have the last one. You can come live with us at my house. I mean, there's no rule that says youhaveto live over the Eastland cafeteria in order to work there, right?"

"Of course there's not," Natalie said before Mrs. Garrett could answer.

"And that way, our family will be staying together. We won't be all split up living in different places next semester. I'll be living with my dad, yes, but I'll be right next door and I'll be staying over at Blair's house with Danielle and the girls all the time."

"What do say, Mrs. G.? Wanna come live with us over at Blair's place next semester?" asked Jo.

"Now wait a minute, girls. Hold on," Mrs. Garrett said cautiously. "Natalie, you should discuss this with your parents first."

"I will, Mrs. Garrett, but I'm sure they'll agree."

"If your parents agree to this, you'll still need Mr. Bradley's approval as well," Mrs. G. reminded her.

"I know that. Don't worry. Like I said, I'm sure my parents will agree, and if they agree, I don't see why Mr. Bradley would have any problems with it."

"Anyway, Mrs. Garrett, what do you think?" asked Tootie.

"Come on, Mrs. Garrett. You know you can't say no to this. We need you," Blair told her. "And you know that even though you're not our mother biologically, you always have been a second mother to all of us, and that in turn makes Danielle your official surrogate grandchild. You know Danielle needs her Grandma Garrett."

"That's right," Natalie agreed.

"Mrs. G., you might as well give in. You know they won't let up 'til ya do," Jo teased, and Mrs. Garrett laughed.

"Oh Blair…girls…I don't know what to say," responded a very choked-up Mrs. G. "Blair, it means so much to me that you would ask me to live in your home. I…to tell you the truth, nothing would make me happier than to move in with you girls next semester." Danielle cooed again, and Mrs. Garrett laughed and added, "And you too, Danielle." When she said that, the girls laughed too. "But Blair, I insist on paying my share of the living expenses."

"That's really not necessary, Mrs. Garrett. I can easily pay for everything myself. It's no big deal."

Edna stubbornly shook her head and said, "Either I pay my own way or I don't move in at all."

Blair nodded then and told her, "Okay, Mrs. Garrett. It's a deal."

"Good," she said with a big smile. "Oh girls, you don't know what this means to me to know that we're all staying together like this."

"It means a lot to us to be together in Blair's house, too…it even means a lot to Jo!" Tootie quipped.

"Well, Blair's house wasn't myfirstchoice," Jo kidded, "but even I've gotta admit, it beats livin' in the dorms…even though we will be spendin' all our time changin' diapers and heatin' up bottles and moppin' up drool like we did that night we had to take care of Emily."

"That's another reason I'm so happy we're doing this. With all of you at the house, there'll always be somebody there to take care of Danielle in the evenings while I'm at class…which means Iwon'thave to worry about hiring a live-in nanny."

"Yeah, that's right, Blair," Mrs. Garrett concurred. "We'll all be right there to help out with our new baby girl."

"We won't get a wink of sleep again for the next four years or so," Natalie teased. Then she smiled and added, "I can't wait."

Yet again, Danielle made her presence known with some loud cooing, and everybody laughed.

The next morning, Tootie and Baby Danielle were discharged from the hospital right on schedule, and Tootie decided to go home with Blair rather than with her father because she really wanted to be near Danielle, which Blair understood. Blair laid Danielle down for a nap soon after they all got home from the hospital, and Tootie went into her designated bedroom at Blair's house to lie down as well. But even though Dr. Jeffries said Tootie was doing well, Harrison was still pretty worried about her considering all she'd recently been through, so he left work early and came to Blair's house at around three that afternoon to check on her.

Tootie was sitting up in bed reading a book when her father knocked on the door and walked in. Her room in Blair's house looked very similar to her childhood bedroom in the Ramseys' Washington, D.C. home, and Harrison immediately noticed that when he came inside.

"Hi, Dad. You're home early," Tootie observed, and then Harrison sat down on the side of Tootie's bed.

"Yeah, I took the rest of the day off. I just wanted to come and check on you; see how you and Danielle were getting along your first day home from the hospital."

"Thanks, Dad, but you really don't have to worry. Danielle and I are fine. Well…okay, I'll admit I'm pretty tired and sore, but you know the doctor prescribed some pain medicine. I took some a little while ago and it's been helping."

"Good. I'm glad. Dr. Jeffries tells me that in six weeks, you should be back to normal. I'm glad you've finished your schoolwork early this year so you can begin your summer vacation. The summer break will really give you a good chance to rest up and recover."

"Yeah. After the school yearI'vehad, I think I could use a good rest."

"You'll get no argument from me."

"I popped my head in the nursery for a minute just before I came in here to see you. Danielle's in there sleeping like a little angel."

"Yeah. I've gone in there several times today, myself, just to watch her sleeping. She's so adorable when she's asleep. There's really nothing in the world like it. And Blair's really going crazy over her. She's already planning her first trip to Bloomingdale's."

Harrison laughed and said, "Bloomingdale's?Don't you think she's a little young for a shopping spree through Bloomingdale's? She's not even a week old."

Tootie laughed as well, and she told her father, "You don't know Blair. Blairlivesfor Bloomingdale's. It's a miracle she didn't personally cut the cord, clean Danielle up, wrap her in a blanket, and whisk her away to Bloomingdale's the minute she was born."

Harrison chuckled and shook his head. Then he said to Tootie, "She's bought this gorgeous house, which I might add is in the perfect neighborhood to raise a child. She's certainly gone all out where Danielle's nursery and wardrobe are concerned. I even overheard her on the phone at the hospital last night talking to her father about starting a college fund for her. She's preparing for Danielle's college education and she's only about one and three quarter days old. I must say that it is quite a relief to see Danielle in the hands of such a dedicated…" he started to say, but then he allowed the sentence to trail. He was afraid to finish it for fear of hurting Tootie.

But then Tootie said, "Mother, Dad. It's a relief to see Danielle in the hands of such a dedicatedmother.It's okay. You can say it.Blairis Danielle's mother, Dad. I accepted that long before I gave birth to her. It's alright to say it out loud. You won't hurt my feelings."

Harrison smiled and patted her leg. "Tootie, you are being remarkably mature about this. I want you to know how proud of you I am."

"Thank you, Dad. I didn't have a lot of choice, though. I basicallyhadto grow up pretty quickly over the past nine and a half months."

"I know, honey," he said softly. "I know. But now that the pregnancy and the delivery is all behind you, you can pick up with your life again; go back to being a teenage girl. You can start thinking about your own future and what you want to do in the years ahead."

"I've already done a lot of thinking about my future over these past few months, and let's just say I've changed my mind about some things."

"Such as?"

After a pause, Tootie answered, "I don't think I want to be an actress anymore."

Harrison did a good job of hiding it in that moment, but the truth was, that sentence was music to his ears. "Oh? May I ask what made you change your mind about that?"

"Well, what Earl Brown did to me last August had a lot to do with it. And I'm not the only one who's been sexually assaulted. In one way or another,allthe girls have. Well, Natalie, Jo, and Blair haven't been raped like I have, but they've all had guys attempt to have sex with them against their will in some form or fashion."

"Is that true?" Harrison asked, truly shocked by what Tootie had just told him.

"Yes, it is."

"I know about what happened to Natalie a couple of years ago. What happened to your other friends?"

"Well, back in my first year at Eastland, Blair was dating this hunk named Steve, and he took her out on a date in his van one night to Skyview Ridge Road, a.k.a. Make-Out Mountain. She had made up her mind before that she wanted to start experimenting with sex. Steve, on the other hand, wanted to take things slow. Well when Steve figured it out that Blair was only interested in fooling around, he got angry and he shoved her down in the van and pinned her down and started…you know."

"Yeah," Harrison said soberly.

"And Blair got scared and started crying out, so he stopped and then he tore out of there in his van and got a speeding ticket."

"How old was Blair when all this happened?"

"She was fifteen. Don't worry, Dad. Blair's not like that anymore. She even stopped dating altogether, as a matter of fact, because she said that she didn't want to bring a series of boyfriends into Danielle's life and have Danielle bond with them and think that each one of them was going to be a father to her and get hurt. She used to play the field all the time, but ever since she decided to adopt Danielle, she completely stopped dating. She hasn't been out with a boy in months, and believe me, forBlair, that's saying a lot. She says that she wants to make sure that the next man she allows into her life and Danielle's life is going to be the man she marries."

Harrison nodded and said, "I admire that. That's a very wise decision."

"I think so, too."

"So anyway, back to your friends, that really is terrible what happened to Blair. She may have been in the wrong that night and it may have made Steve angry, but that is absolutely no excuse for him physically threatening her like that."

"It certainly isn't."

"And you say Jo's had an experience like that as well?"

"Yeah, she has. Shortly after Jo first came to Eastland, an old childhood friend of Blair's whom she hadn't seen in years, Harrison Andrews, transferred to Bates Academy, and he asked Jo out to a cotillion at the country club. He figured that because Jo was, to use her phrase, from the wrong side of the tracks, she was easy."

"Oh, no."

"On the night of the dance, he took her out back behind the club to the golf course, and he pushed her down into a big sand-trap. She got away from him before he was able to do anything, and she even hit him with her shoe before she came back home."

"Good for her! Tootie, that's awful. Eastland is supposed to be asafeplace; agoodenvironment for its students. Well, reallyeveryschool is, but especially places like Eastland. I had no idea that this kind of behavior was so commonplace."

"Sadly, it is, and it's only getting worse. And just look at what's happened to me in my own life, and not just with Earl Brown. Remember that crazy photographer who was going to photograph me in nothing but a wig? And remember what happened to me that time I ran away to New York City to see that Broadway play with the girls when you and Mom said I had to stay at school?"

"I still get so furious every time I think about what that pervert almost got you into."

"So do I. You and Momwereright, of course.I wastoo young to be running around in New York City without an adult. I realize that now. And I know that everything that happened to me that day only happened because I was so unbelievably naïve."

"You were achild,Tootie. It's completely understandable that you would have such innocence and take people at face value and think the best of them."

"Maybe, but the point is, I'm not a child anymore. I may not be enough of an adult to handle being a mother yet, but I'm also not a little child. I'm not that same reckless little kid who ran away to Manhattan on her own anymore. I'm not naïve about how the world is any longer. Now I realize just how ruthless the world can be. And I see it now that sexual assault and abuse is becoming a real epidemic. It's happened in some form or fashion to all the girls and me, and I hadtwoclose calls with sexual predatorsbeforeI was raped. Something's got to be done about this. I want to spend my life doing something about this. I'll always be in love with the theatre, but the cold, hard fact is, almostnobodyever makes a successful career out of acting and becomes a star. And of all those whodobecome stars, most of them can't take the pressure of stardom and they end up wrecking their entire lives with drugs, alcohol, multiple affairs, and all kinds of scandals. It's just a lose-lose situation and that's not what I want to do with my life anymore. Now, I want to do something to help make sure no other girl ever goes through what I did."

"That's wonderful, Tootie. Do you have an idea what you want to do?"

Tootie nodded and told him, "Yeah. I know you and Mom have been waiting a long time to hear me say this, so listen closely. I want you to be able to savor the moment." Harrison then jokingly put his hand behind his ear and leaned in to listen. "I want to be an attorney like you and Mom. Only, I don't want to have my own private practice like you and Mom do. I want to be a prosecuting attorney. I want to spend my life putting as many Earl Browns behind bars as I can."

Harrison had to fight off tears then as he said, "Oh, Tootie, you have no idea how happy this makes me."

"Yeah, I know it does. I know you and Mom always dreamed of having at least one of your kids follow in your footsteps."

"Yes, that's true. But before you were attacked last year, the main reason for that was mostly our own vanity. Your mother and I were so self-absorbed that we didn't really care about howyou kidsfelt and whatyour owndreams and aspirations were for your own lives. We just wanted you to be like us because of our own selfish egos. But now, I just want to say that regardless of whether or not you decided you wanted to follow in my footsteps, Tootie, Istillwould have done anything I could to help you achieve your dreams. Even if you'd decided you still wanted to make a go of it in Hollywood, I would have done what I could have to help you. It does make me happy,so happy, to know that you want to go into law someday, but I want you to do it because that's whatyouwant, not what your mother and I want. I don't want you to be a carbon copy of myself like I once did. I just want you to know that I'm not like that anymore."

Tootie put her hand on top of her father's in that moment and said, "Idoknow that, Dad. And Iamgoing into law someday because itiswhat I want to do. Like I said a minute ago, I want to spend the rest of my life making sure that no kid ever goes through what I have."

Unable to fight it off any longer, Harrison finally broke down and wept, and he told Tootie, "I've never been prouder of you than I am right now, baby." He then threw his arms around her and gave her the longest hug.

The seemingly tough and stern "Rifle Ramsey" remained tenderhearted and supportive towards his little girl as she continued recovering over the next two and a half weeks leading up to Jo's and Blair's graduation ceremony, as did Mrs. Garrett and the girls. Whenever Mrs. G., Jo, and Natalie weren't taking care of their kitchen duties and going to class at Eastland, they were constantly over at Blair's or Tootie's house, looking after her and spending time with her. And naturally, everybody was constantly making a fuss over little Danielle as well. Their family bond only continued to strengthen as they prepared to say goodbye to their old home above the Eastland cafeteria and move on to their new home at Blair's house.

Despite the fact that Harrison felt it would be too taxing for Tootie and protested, she attended the graduation ceremony a couple of weeks later. She proudly sat in between Mrs. Garrett and Natalie with Danielle asleep in her arms as she watched her friends walk across the stage and get their high school diplomas, and she listened closely to Jo's speech as class valedictorian. Then after lots of tears and hugs at the ceremony in the auditorium, Harrison took Danielle back to his place for the rest of the day while Mrs. G. and the girls finished packing up the rest of their things from their rooms above the kitchen. When they were finally done that evening, they all decided to simply hang out together in the lounge and unwind. Mrs. Garrett, Tootie, and Blair were all sitting together on the loveseat while Natalie sat in one of the living chairs and Jo sat on the right arm of the loveseat.

"Are you going to miss living here next semester, Mrs. Garrett?" Tootie asked.

"I think maybe I will just a little, but I really am looking forward to settling in to our new home. I'm especially looking forward to having a baby in the house again," Mrs. Garrett said with a big smile. "It's been a long time since I've had a little one in my life."

"Reminds me of that night we all had to take care of Emily," said Natalie. "We didn't get a wink of sleep."

"I've barely gotten a moment's sleep since I first brought Danielle home from the hospital," Blair told them. "It has been nothing but constant sleep interruptions, diaper changes, feedings." Then Blair broke out in a big smile and said, "I've loved every minute of it."

Mrs. Garrett laughed. "I loved every minute with my boys when they were that age, too. Ah Blair, enjoy it while it lasts because before you know it, Danielle will be your age. You won't believe how fast kids grow up on you. Why, just look at you girls for example. To me, it seems like just yesterday I set foot on the Eastland campus for the first time and met you girls. Natalie, Tootie, Blair, you were so young. And so were you when you first rode here on your motorcycle, Jo. And now look at all of you," she said with such pride as she took a moment to look intently into each of their faces. "Blair and Jo have graduated today. Blair, you've started a whole new life as a full-time mother. You're both starting college next semester. And Tootie, the way you've risen above what has happened to you, and Natalie, the way you've been so strong for your best friend…I just don't know what to say. You've all grown up into such incredible young women. I just couldn't be prouder of you."

All the girls thanked Mrs. Garrett, and then Tootie said, "You know, you guys, if it hadn't been for all of you during this past school year, I don't know what I would have done. You're all the best friends anybody could ever hope for."

Even Jo got a little choked up in that moment as she patted Tootie on the back and said, "You're not bad, yourself, you know."

They all looked at each other for a long moment and smiled, and then Blair got up and said, "Well, you guys, I don't know about all of you, but I think I'm ready to hit the road. It is getting close to Danielle's bedtime. I should go pick her up from her Grandpa Ramsey's and get her all tucked in for the night."

Everybody else got up then as well, and Tootie said, "I think you're right, Blair. I think it is time we headed out."

"I knowI'mcertainly not hanging around here and spending one more night in the bottom bunk!" Natalie quipped. "Ido notwant to have one more night where I wake up and start to feel like I'm in a coffin!"

"It's a good thing we got your bed moved in across from mine the other day," said Tootie. "Now you can just go over to Blair's house with us and spend the night before you have to go home for summer vacation."

"Will you guyspleasestop calling it 'Blair's house'?" Blair asked them. "It's not 'Blair's house.' It'sour house."

"Well since it's our house, too, I'm gonna go move some things around in my room to make space for my bike," Jo teased. "I hate leavin' it outdoors." She then walked out of the lounge, and Blair rushed after her.

"Jo,you are notbringing that bike indoors!" Blair's voice called after her, and Tootie, Natalie, and Mrs. G. all laughed.

"I guess I'm ready to leave, too," Tootie sighed. "It has been a long day, and I am pretty tired. I think when we get to our house tonight, I'm just going to head straight for bed."

Mrs. Garrett put a kind hand on Tootie's shoulder then and said, "That's a good idea, Tootie."

"I think I'll do the same," Natalie agreed, and then she and Tootie left the lounge as well.

Moments later, once all the girls were outside waiting in Blair's Porsche and Mrs. Garrett had the lounge and the cafeteria all to herself, she paused and took her time to have one last look around. She realized, of course, that she'd still be coming back to her job as school dietician next semester, but still, she knew that with none of them living at Eastland anymore, things wouldn't be quite the same. She took a couple of minutes for reflection, and then she said goodbye inside to the way things used to be, knowing that she and the girls still had a bigger adventure than ever ahead of them.

Finally, Edna smiled to herself, thanked the Lord for getting them all through the last school year, and turned off the lights in the lounge and cafeteria.