All those in betweens - born_bi_crow (2024)

Chapter 1: Chapter One: Training day

Chapter Text

JUNE

“Agent Todd is back!” Ms. O yells. I gasp, and drop my box of marbles. “You better tell the rest of the squad too.” She says. I nod and spin around on my heel. “Agent Todd is back!!” I yell out the door of Ms. O’s office. There is an immediate chorus of crashes as every agent who remembers Todd drops whatever they’re holding. I think someone drops a piano. “I have a question?” Otto says, but Ms. O cuts him off. “No time! Oscar, I need a list of all available gadgets!”
“Yes, ma’am,” I salute.
“And you two, check in Todd’s file for anything that could help us!” Ms. O continues. “I’ll call the other O’s.”
“Yes ma’am.” Olive says, and strides out of the office, Otto and me on her heels.

Im in my office, listing every gadget there is to list, but I can’t help thinking. I remember the first day I met Todd. Coincidentally, it was the same day I met Olive. They went through training together. They were in HQ for a tour, when Olive, man did she look different, almost bumped into me. “Watch out recruit.” I said, and man did I look different too. That haircut… “pienado, coming through!”
And then I heard I voice I’d never forget for the rest of my days. A voice I’d grow to admire, to love, to hate, to fear. “Pienado?” Todd’s voice. How I wish I could’ve stopped Obfusco from explaining. But I didn’t. And so Todd knew about the pienado. A fatal mistake

Over the following months, Todd became the best agent odd squad had ever seen. He would solve cases faster than Ms. O. He was the STAR agent. And as much as I hate to admit it, we were close back then. He was really handy, always building things or fixing things. We became friends. And then, I had realised I had a crush on him. Yeah. I had had a crush on a villain. But in my defence he wasn’t a villain back then!! He was just really, really good at his job. He won every odd squad award there was. Even the award for most awards. But he started getting bored. Solving cases wasn’t enough for him. His gadgets became more and more outlandish. But still even then, no one saw the truth. We just thought he was being stupid, having a good time. Woe to us who never saw the truth until it was too late. Maybe we could have stopped him. But we didn’t. Not until the damage had already been done.

The day things really started getting out of hand, Olive came and told me. But I guess I didn’t see. I guess I was too blinded by my feelings to see the reality of out situation. Until the day. The day he f*cked up a case. On purpose. Because Todd never made a mistake. And then he did. ‘Six sixth street.’ He had said. No one had questioned him. Because Todd never made mistakes. And then, he did. ‘Everyone makes mistakes.’ He had said. But not Todd. And when Ms. O confronted him, said he knew the truth but he lied, he said the worst thing he could. ‘That’s right.’ He had said. ‘Because that, is interesting. Instead of turning the world all boring, which is what odd squad always dose-‘
‘The odd squad rule is ‘Do. No. Odd.’ Your badge agent Todd.’ Ms. O had interrupted. He gave it to her, and then came to see me, all fake tears and concern. ‘I’m sorry Oscar, I guess I’m leaving. Ms. O kicked me out.’ He had said. I had cried to see my friend be sent away like that. To see that he had broken the rule. The one rule. Do no odd. And he had. He left, and we never spoke again.

But I had had to cope, and cope I did. Because I still didn’t get it, even then. I poured my soul into new gadgets, and created the triangulator. That gadget had saved our lives. Because the day I showed it to Olive, ‘what can’t you do with it!’ I said. And then an alarm went off. A warning sounded. “Code three-point-one-four-one-five-nine-two-six-five-three-five-eight-nine-seven-nine-three-two-three.“The pienado had been released. I didn’t know how though. The only way to release it was with my nose. And then ‘Oscar! I’ve got your nose!’ And the laugh. That laugh, which I’ll never forget. Todd was back. He’d released the pienado. Pies were splatting everywhere, hitting agents right and left. I saw Dr. O go down, pie covering her chest. Agent Oran took a headshot and fell backwards into the sandpit. Ms. O took two shots to the side of the face and chest and collapsed in a heap. We were losing. We were dying. In that singular moment, I got it. Todd was a villain. And in that split second, I hated him. He was making the world more odd. On purpose. I watched as Todd walked away. Olive was our only hope. I saw the purpose in her eyes as she turned from a flighty, shy agent, into a determined, confident agent with revenge in her heart. She had to stop Todd. I watched as she found the answer. I saw her pull the triangulator out and fire triangles into the mouth of the pienado. She was doing it! But the last triangle was causing her grief. She couldn’t get a clear shot ‘I’ll cover you!’ I had yelled. I had to fix my mistake, my blindness to Todd’s oddness. ‘It’s the only way!’ I had walked straight into the line of fire, covering Olive until I fell, covered in pie, having taken as many shots as I could physically handle. I saw her take the final shot. And silence fell. The wounded lay around us in broken heaps, covered in pie. Ms. O wasn’t moving and for a moment I thought we might have lost her. We almost lost a few good agents that day. Agent O’ryan, shot in the leg with an infected pie. Agent Orca took a pie to the back of the head. Agent oak took three pies to the heart before he fell. But Odd Todd was gone.
‘And now he’s back.’ I think as I shake myself out of my reminiscence. I just have one question. How are we supposed to beat the best agent there ever was?

Chapter 2: Chapter two: The O Games

Chapter Text

JUNE

“Oscar. Sound the alarm.” Ms. O says. I gladly remove the painting from the wall and slap the purple button under it. The O games are here! There’s a wailing siren mixed in with the cheers of older agents. I put my stone headset on and help Ms. O tie her toga.
“Thanks Oscar.” She says. “Now let’s go! We’ve got some O games to spectate!” I grin and walk out of her office and down the stairs. When I reach the bottom and all the agents have assembled, Ms. O begins her annual speech.
“Hear ye, hear ye, welcome one and all, to The O Games! Oscar, commence with the ringing of the bells.” I pick up the bells and softly ring them, bowing my head respectfully. Out of the corner of my eye I see Olive quietly explaining exactly what the O Games are. I put down the bells and Ms. O slides down the steps.
“And now to announce this years participants, it’s last years winners, Agent Olive!” She cries, and everyone turns their gaze to her. Olive, however, is reminiscing.
“OLIVE! Stop daydreaming about the best day you ever had and get up here!” Ms. O shouts. Olive snaps out of it, fast, and hurries up to the platform, where the thingy full of names is waiting. The energy in the room is positively electric as she draws the first name.
“Agent oran!” She calls out. He runs up to the stage. Then Dr. O, Octavia, and Otto are called. One name left. Im not allowed to compete, because I help Ms. O with the commentary, but I cross my fingers, thinking that it might be Oona. Olive draws the last name.

“Agent… 43.”

Right on cue Odd Todd busts through the doors, cackling maniacally. Im about two seconds away from crying. And not little tears either. Im talking, hardcore, full on sobbing, snot, tears, actual bawling. I pull myself together though and press my lips together. “Howdy partner!” Todd says.
Olive scowls. “Im not your partner anymore.”
“But, you can’t play in the games!” Octavia says. “You don’t work here anymore.”
Todd smirks and I groan internally as he yells a consultation of the stone tablet. I know that tablet back to front and inside out. We. Are. Doomed.
“Odd Todd’s right. It says here that any agent past or present may take place in the O games.” I say, dejectedly.

Todd smirks.

“So I’m gonna play. And I’m gonna win. And when I win, and become Ms. O for a day, I’m going to shut down odd squad, FOREVER!” He breaks into a cackling laugh. The agents plead with Ms. O to do something, but she can’t help. O Games rules are O Games rules after all. Ms. O sighs, dejectedly, and zaps us all to where the O Games take place.

It’s this large, open space with a white, greek style pavilion along one edge. The five contestants are decked out in some truly wicked gear (I’ll take credit for making those uniforms thank you very much.) and standing on little raised platforms. Dr. O and Octavia’s hair have suddenly become braided.

~

Ms. O quickly lays down the rules.
“The O Games consists of four challenges. The last person to complete each challenge will be eliminated, until only one person remains. Oscar, tell them what they’ll be competing in first.” I switch into my commentators persona.
“Thanks Ms. O! It’s everyones favourite, Blob Toss!” I say as buckets of blobs appear at each contestants feet. There’s a murmur of groans. Except from Odd Todd who licks one.

f*cking licks it. I think I might throw up.

I lay down the basic rules for blob toss, (get ten points by throwing blobs through either the 10 hoop, the 5 hoop or the 2 hoop,) when Odd Todd pipes up with a question.
“Can I score for other people?" He asks. Now I know the tablet inside out and upside down, and it doesn't say anything about that. I say as much, and Todd nearly snarls the word, “good.” I get the feeling that his version of good, is not everyone else’s.

He starts tossing blobs. “Ten points for me!”
He throws another. “Ten points for oran!”
And another “ten points for Dr. O”
and one more blob “and ten points for Otto.

He’s left octavia out. Not for the last time the day, I feel like crying.

~

But the show must go on, as they say, so we move on to the 25 centigurp dash. Ms. O explains the rules while I update the HELL out of the stone tablet. Ms. O opens the centigurp box.
“Let the games begin… now!” She says. The contestants race to the boxes.
“They’re off to quite a start.” I say, for those listening at HQ. “Dr. O, Otto and oran are each racing to collect 25 centigurps to go on to the next round. While Odd Todd is… relaxing??” He’s sitting in a garden chair with a book.
“What are you doing Todd?” Oran asks. Todd looks up from his book, a disgusted look on his face.
“First of all, it’s Odd Todd now. Second of all, I’m winning, and fifth of all, im going to eliminate you next, Oran.” Oh no. But I keep upbeat.
“We got a real barn burner tonight folks, the contestants are busy grabbing centigurps and stuffing them into boxes. Dr. O is in the lead with four boxes of centigurps. Agents oran and Otto are close behind with three boxes each. And odd Todd is still sitting at zero points. Literally. He’s actually sitting”

I cheer as Dr. O closes the lid on her fifth box and moves on to the next round. Otto is close behind, shutting the lid on his fifth box but moments later.
I cross my fingers as Todd and Oran stare each other down.
And when Oran says he’ll win because Todd isn’t doing anything, I can hardly dare to hope.
But then Odd Todd stands up and shouts in centigurp. I bite my lip to keep from tears. Immediately, they flock to him. He dose a quick tally.
“Five on each arm, five on each leg and five on my head. 25.”
Ms. O makes the declaration. “Odd Todd moves on to the next round. Oran is eliminated.”

Todd smirks.
“Two down, Two to go.”

~

The next challenge is the robot princess challenge. Ten minutes, ten rings, each earning ten points. Toss a ring around a robot princess to get the points.

In short, genuinely terrifying.

“Let’s see how these agents do.” I say. I turn my attention to the field, where Otto and Dr. O are crouching behind a rock. And Odd Todd is already throwing rings.
“Odd Todd is first on the board with ten points.” I say.
“I don’t like the look of this.” Ms. O says.
Im a little offended. “really? I thought I did a pretty decent job making headphones out of rock-"
“Not the headphones! That!” Ms. O says, gesturing to the field where the robot princesses are.
“Oh right.” I stammer. “And we’re back!”

I watch as Dr. O blindly throws a ring, which, miraculously, lands.
“Dr. O threw one ring, putting her on the board with ten points!” I say. “And Odd Todd is trowing rings every which way from Sunday! Behind his back, over his head, totally blind!”

It’s almost, ALMOST, impressive. He lands five rings, and I think im actually shocked and slightly impressed.
“Wowser its a miracle! Odd Todd land five rings bring his score up to twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty!” But Dr. O is not one to be crossed and quickly lands five rings as well, bringing her equal with Odd Todd. and Otto is just hiding behind a big rock, sitting a a nice cushy zero points. In a panic Otto haphazardly throws every single one of his rings at the same time, completly blind, and lands all of them. “Woah! Otto makes a miracle throw, brining his score up to ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, one hundred points! Otto moves on to the final round. But who will be joining him? Odd Todd and Dr. O still remain at sixty points each.”

“You should update your board Oscar.” Dr. O says, before throwing three of the remaining four rings around the robot princesses.
“Dr. O scores three more princesses, brining her score to seventy, eighty, ninety points! But we’ve got ourselves a tight race. Odd Todd has also scored three more, bring his score to ninety points. It’s a tie again folks, and with only one ring left each, who will score it first and move on to the next round?”
“ME!” Odd Todd says, before throwing his ring and… watching helplessly as it gets blasted out of the air by a lazer.
“Looks like it’s the end of the O Games for You Odd Todd.” I say, biting back a snicker. But moments later, Odd Todd collapses to the ground, clutching his knee and writhing in pain. Dr. O runs to his side.
“Can you wriggle your toes?” She asks. Todd grimaces.
“No. It hurts too much.” He says. Dr. O drops down, abandoning the one ring left in play and Todd snatches it up.
“I'm cured! Thanks doc.” He says, throwing the ring, which lands squarely around a robot princess.
“In a dramatic turn of events, Odd Todd gets 100 points and moves on to the next round.” I say. And I’ve gotta say, Dr. O handles defeat rather graciously, considering the fact that I want to bawl my eyes out. Usually I LOVE the O Games but today I just want to get OFF this emotional rollercoaster.

~

“Let the final game, BEGIN!” Ms. O says, zapping everyone to the maze. “Here are your directions. Follow them to find the hidden key. Read them VERY carefully! The game begins, NOW!”
Otto and odd Todd stand stunned for a second, and then Otto begins to read out his card.
“The key to success may seem hard to get-“ he’s cut off by Odd Todds cruel laughter.
“Watch and learn.” Todd says, before taking off into the maze. Otto almost follows him, but then stops short, probably remembering Olives (very sound) advice. 'Take your time, read the instructions carefully, and you can’t lose.' He opens up his piece of paper and starts reading.

“The key to success may seem hard to get.
You rundown the maze entrance and turn to your left.
Keep running straight for the count of five.
The you look to your right when you arrive.
Turn right at the corner, you run some more.
And come to a wall that looks like the floor.
Then you see something you didn’t before.
All of a sudden there’s a pain in your heart.
You should have read carefully, the key is back at the start.”

When he’s done, I hear Odd Todds anguished yell from deep in the maze.
“The key is back at the start!” Otto yells. He searches frantically for a few moments before uncovering it. Ms. O zaps us back to the start.

“Congratulations Otto. You are the winner of the O Games.” She say. Odd Todd scowls.
“You may have won the battle Otto, but you’ll never win the war!” It’s the last thing Odd Todd says before Ms. O zaps him back to wherever he came from. Otto breathes a sigh of relief.
“Olive was right!” He says, grinning. “I’m so glad I followed her advice. I won!” Ms. O zaps him back to HQ before he can say anything else.

“Thank GOD that’s over.” She says. “I thought that agent 43 really would win The O Games. And then Odd Squad would…” her voice trails off. I shake my head.
“No way Ms. O! We wouldn’t let him!” I say, injecting false confidence into my voice. Inside I’m a nervous jittery wreck, on the verge of tears, which is nothing new, considering todays events, but I can hold it together until I’ve got a moment alone.
“You’re right Oscar.” Ms. O smiles at me. “Let’s go home.” We do.

When we get back to HQ, the entire squad is celebrating. Which is reasonable. After all, Otto just won the O games. Not Odd Todd. Which is a huge relief, because had he become Ms. O for a day, then there would be no more Odd squad. He’d shut it down. Forever. We join in the celebrations with relief.

Chapter 3: Chapter three: now you dont see me

Chapter Text

JUNE

Olive and Otto are back from their latest case. Which is good because,
“Woah! Where is everybody?” Olive exclaims.
“Must be a holiday.” Otto says. Its not. First of all, the holiday hats are still here, and second of all, well, everyone is... still at HQ.
“Olive! Otto! In my office!” Ms. O yells. The two agents look around and hurry up to Ms. Os’s office. I’m right behind them.

“There you two are. Something very odd has happened. I’m invisible. It’s all the work of Odd Todd. He used invisible ink and we don’t really have the revisibleantor to fix it. That’s where things get tricky.” Invisible Ms. O swivels in her chair and turns the video screen on.
“Oh hello agents!” It’s Odd Todd. “I bet you’re looking for this. The revisibleanator!” He holds it up, and Olive and Otto gasp. “And since you don’t have it, I’m going to turn everyone invisible! Including all the odd squad agents!”
“We should warn the agents.” Olive says. That’s when we all pipe up that its a bit to late for that and we are all invisible. Every agent in HQ is packed into Ms. O’s office. I think I’m standing next to Orchid, and I know that Dr. O is near the juice bar.

“It seems Odd Todd wants to play a game.” Ms. O says, pressing the button on her remote to play the other half of the video.
“Im hiding this gadget somewhere in town.” Odd Todd says. “to find it, you’ll have to figure out all my clues.” He takes a drink of hot chocolate and signs off. Otto looks confused. Understandably. Odd Todd never makes sense. Maybe he made sense once, as an agent, but now… no chance of understanding him. Except, apparently, if you’re Olive, who quickly explains that Todd must be headed to Polly-graphs hot chocolate stand.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Ms. O yells. “Go!” Olive and Otto awkwardly shuffle out of the room, trying to avoid the other invisible agents.

~

Im just chilling in the lab, invisibly, when Otto’s voice says

“Hi Oscar!”
I jump about two feet in the air. Or maybe higher. I mean, I’m invisible so no one can really tell how high I jumped. I bet I almost touched the roof.
“Woah. Hey Otto. Odd Todd got you too?” I swear I heard him roll his eyes.
“Yeah. And he got the Bear’s Ski Team. Olive told me to bring ‘em here so we can fix them when we get the gadget back.”
“Well,” I say “its not so much a when as an if. You know, there’s always a possibility that Olive will fail and then-“
“Oscar!” Ottos voice cuts me off. “Not helping.”
“Yeah. Sorry.” I say, as Otto's badge phone rings.
“O-t-t-o” he says. I can just make out Olives voice.
“Otto, are you back at the squad yet?”
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“I know where Todd is. 35 Main Street. Meet me there. Bring the whole squad.” Olive hangs up. “You heard her Otto.” I say. “Let’s move!”

~

Olive busts through the door of 35 Main Street, and we all file in silently behind her. My hand is clamped firmly over Olaf’s mouth because my GOD, that boy has no concept of shut up. Good agent, terrible silence skills.
“Scribbles!” Says Odd Todd, sounding positively ecstatic. “You found me!”
“Why are you sitting in a white box?” Olive asks, and I’m glad she did, because I’d been wondering the same thing.
“I just liked it so much better than the green box. So tacky… anyway! Now that youre here-“
“Hand over the gadget Todd!” Olive says.
“Hmmmm. How about, no.”
“What- but you said-?”
“Im a villain Scribbles. I lie! And now the you’re here, you’ll get to watch me destroy this gadget, all alone.”

“Wrong!” Olive shouts. “Im not alone. I bought all of Odd Squad with me.”
“That’s right!” I say, trying to sound as threatening as possible.
“I- what?” Todd says.
“Give it up odd Todd. You’re surrounded!” Ms. O says.
“Very clever Scribbles. But what do you wanna catch? Me? Or the gadget?” Todd throws the gadget up run the air and bolts. There's a flurry of movement as the agents rush to catch him. My eyes zero in on the gadget as it arcs through the air, seemingly on slow motion. I run toward where it will come down, legs pumping, heart racing. even as I run I know I'll never make it in time. But Olive dose, making a desperate dive, one worthy of the Bears soccer team goal keeper, arms outstretched toward the gadget. I cover my eyes with my hand. which dose essentially nothing because, well, i'm invisible. Olive catches the gadget by the tips of her fingers and lands with a hard thud on the floor. I break into applause, running toward Olive, hoping the rest of the squad follows suite. they do, and we grab Olive to carry her on our shoulders back to headquarters.

~

Olive zaps me with the revisibleantor and fist pumps the air as I come back into view. Oh it is so, SO nice to be able to see me again. I take the gadget from Olives hands and proceed to zap Ms. O, Otto, Polly-graph, The Bears Ski Team, Baby Genius and Rivka, Obfusco, Dr. O, and every other odd squad agent and member of the general public who had been affected by Todds invisible ink. When I’m done, I sink down to the floor and rest my head against my lab bench, exhausted. My lab assistant, Oona, pokes her head into the room. “You alright boss?” She asks. I make some vague noise of assent, and she nods, apprehensively. I pull myself together enough to tell her I’m going to the pillow room and that unless headquarters is about to be destroyed she'd better not wake me, and shamble out of the lab down to the aforementioned pillow room.

Chapter 4: Chapter four: kidnapping

Chapter Text

JULY

After weeks of silence and calm… well, what passes for 'calm' at Odd Squad which is a near death scrape every week, Ms. O calls me to her office. “OSCAR!!!” I drop my toastinator (accidentally turning my lab bench into a slice of toast(I’ll fix it later)) and run up the stairs to her office. I skid inside. “Yes Ms. O?”
“There you are. Something very odd has happened.”
“Ms. O? Shouldn’t you be saying this to an agent?” I ask, kind of pushing a gentle reminder her way because I think my lab bench is on fire. I can smell burnt toast. “I’m Oscar? Your scientist?”
“I know!” She growls.
“Okay, so what seems to be the problem Ms. O?”
“Odd Todd’s back.”
“Again!?!”
“Yes. But there’s a problem. He’s covered himself in invisible ink. We don’t know where he will strike next. I need you to be on the lookout for anything odd.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Oh and Oscar? Could you tell the rest of the squad that?”
“Yes ma’am. Can do.” I walk out of her office and shout the news to the rest of the squad. A chorus of various forms of agreements and panicked shouts comes back. I rush back to the lab, fire-extinguishinator in hand because my lab bench is definitely on fire.

The rest of the day passes without incident, but that night, just as I've fixed my lab bench, something or someone grabs me from behind. I’m about to scream when a hand is clapped over my mouth. “Don’t. Move. A muscle.” A voice whispers in my ear. I know that voice. I know that voice all too well. The hand is removed from my mouth for just long enough for me to say “Agent 43.” before a needle jabs into my arm and I’m out like a light.

~

I blink, and the world comes into focus. I’m handcuffed to a chair in a white room, and sitting on a bed in the same room is… Odd Todd. I don’t even know why I’m surprised. “What on earth am I doing here?” I spit.
“Isn’t it obvious? I was told you were smart.” Ouch. Odd Todd tilts his head to the side. “I’ve kidnapped you.”
“You’re a monster.”
“No. I’m a villain. There is a significant difference. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go record a video to inform Odd squad about this unfortunate turn of events.” Todd laughs maniacally, and walks over to a bench where he starts to record a video. I struggle rather fruitlessly against the handcuffs. “Hello odd squad.” Todd says. “You’ve probably realised by now that, someone’s missing. Who could it be? Oh that’s right, it’s Oscar.” He turns the camera to face me, and when I don’t react he hisses, “let them know that you’re ok.” He’s pointing the freezinator at me behind the camera, so I obey. “Hey guys!" I say, falsely bright, biting back the swear word I long to throw at Odd Todd. "I’m a little stuck right now, but don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Just go about your days. I’ll find a way out!” I plaster a false smile onto my face, and Todd nods. “If you want your precious scientist back… too bad! You’ll never find him!” Todd takes a sip of lemonade, laughs, and ends the video. After a few minutes of tapping away on his keyboard, he mutters, “and I’ll just send that to Ms. O and then I think I’m free for a while. Ah… you can stay here Oscar, mind the fort for me. Like you have any choice!” I swear at his retreating back. He turns around and raises a single eyebrow at me. “I like your spine. Impressive.” The compliment is weird, but I take it. And then swear under my breath for taking a compliment from a villain. Which Odd Todd, who apparently has the best hearing, not to mention smell, in the world, smirks at.

~

Todd’s annoyed. And to be frank, so am I. “It’s been three hours!” He yells “If nobody comes to try to rescue you soon, I. Am going. To kill someone!”
“Me?”
“No. Not you.” Todd rolls his eyes.
“Oh-okay.” I say, warily.
“Hey, what’s the point of kidnapping a scientist if he’s dead by the time his rescuers show up?” I think he’s joking but I can’t be sure.
“You are the strangest villain I’ve ever met.”
“I’m gonna choose to take that as a compliment.”
“It really wasn’t-“ I start to say, but Odd Todd cuts me off. “Shh.” He hisses. “I think they’re here.” Normally I’d contradict him and start screaming, but he’s pointing the black hole-inator at my chest, so I stay quiet. Im thinking exclusively in swear words though. The door shakes as if something of incredible force has hit it. Then it wobbles violently. Finally with a sickening crash, the door comes clean off its hinges and falls forward. Ms. O is standing in the doorway, growling. I mange a small wave. “Todd, drop the gadget and come with us. Quietly.” Ms. O growls. “Oh Oprah, do you really think that’s going to work?” Todd asks. It’s the first time I’ve seen anyone address Ms. O by her first name. I wasn’t even sure she had one. “I went to all this trouble of kidnapping Oscar. And here he is by the, you’ll notice. Safe, sound, and utterly unharmed. But anyway, do you really think that I’d just, let him go? You’d have to be crazy. But then, you are one of a kind Oprah.”
“Let Oscar go, Todd. And we’ll all be on our way.” Olive says, pointing an unhandcuffinator at my wrists.
“Not so fast Scribbles.” Todd grins and swings around, pointing the black hole-inator at her. “Like I was saying, Oprah here is one of a kind. So much so that I might consider a trade. If Ms. O takes Oscar’s place, you can have him back. If not well, I might just have to kill him.”
“But you said-“ I stammer.
“I’m a villain, Oscar. Lying is what I do. Good god you’d think you guys would’ve worked that one out by now."
"If you wanted to, why haven't you? Killed me I mean." I say.
"Villain code. Oddness and murder aren't the same things. So, Ms. O, What’s it gonna be?”
Ms. O thinks for a moment. Finally she says, “Ok. I’ll do it.”
“Excellent.” Odd Todd laughs, at the same time that Olive, Otto, and I say, “No, Ms. O, you can’t!!”
“Its the only way.” Ms. O snaps.
“Stunning!” Todd cackles. “Scribbles, you can release your precious scientist now.” The second my wrists are free I’m out of the chair, across the room, and standing outside the door.
“Come on in Ms. O!” Todd says. Ms. O turns to us, arms outstretched for a hug, and when we do hug her, rather awkwardly, she whispers, “don’t worry about me, I have a plan.” Then she straightens up, winks, turns around and walks inside the white room, shutting the door behind her. Olive and Otto stand staring at the door until I whisper,
“Didn’t you hear the woman? She’s got a plan, let’s move.” We walk all of ten steps away from the door when it bursts open again, and Ms. O comes running out, followed by Odd Todd’s scream of rage.
“We gotta go. Now!” She says. We barrel down a hallway, turn the corner, and duck behind a large green couch into the tube entrance.

~

One tube ride later and we’re all sitting safely back in Ms O’s office. “That,” She finally says, “was really close.” I nod. After all, we just almost lost Ms. O. “Oscar, are you okay?” She asks.
“Yeah, I’m, Im all good. Just a little shaken.” I say. I’m lying. I'm f*cking petrified.
“Take tomorrow off.” Ms. O says. “You deserve it.” I thank her and walk slowly out of her office, down the stairs to the lab. Oona, my lab assistant, is waiting for me.
“You alright boss?” She asks.
“Yeah I’m good. Just a little shaken.” I say. “Oona, give me a gadget that needs fixing, stat!”
“You got it boss.”
“Thanks. And it’s just Oscar.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. It’s only Ms. O that has a title.” Oona laughs at that, and throws a broken hatinator at me. I lean over it and start working, occasionally asking for tools. The steady rhythm of the job slows my heart rate to a steady beat and evens out my ragged breathing, but my brain is still going a million miles a minute, racing over the events of the day. Just one day. It felt like 20 years. I can still feel Odd Todd’s gaze on me, even though he’s on the other side of town. It’s making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I swear, if I never see him again, it’ll be too soon. I run my hand through my hair and yell for a wrench. The rest of the squads back to normal but I’m on edge.
“Boss? Oscar?” Oona asks. She’s holding the wrench I asked for. “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“Yeah I’m fine.” I start to say, but I stop halfway through. Instead I say, “No. I’m not. I’m freaking out Oona. That was really scary. I don’t wanna do that sh*t again.” Oona nods.
“You should take some time off.” She says.
“What?” I exclaim. “I can’t, Ms. O needs me!”
“You can’t work like this. I’ll hold down the fort while you’re gone. Tell Ms. O you need a week off to recover. She’ll understand.”
“That’s a great idea Oona!” Comes Ms. O’s voice from behind me. I flinch.
“Ok, maybe I do need a little time off.” I admit. Ms. O smiles at me.
“Take all the time you need Oscar. Oona will be fine without you.” She says just as Oona drops a freezinator and gets stuck in a block of ice. “At least, I think so.”

Chapter 5: Chapter five: O is not for over

Chapter Text

SEPTEMBER

Turns out, the tube operators are incredibly good at making sure you don’t come into work when Ms. O doesn’t want you to. I should know. I was tube blocked for a week straight after Ms. O sent me home, and when I was allowed into work, it was only for one or two days at a time. It took me two months to be allowed into work for a whole week, and after that, I was back on a regular routine. Score! One day, as I’m working on a new gadget, the unpolarbearinator, Ms. O calls for Oona. I don’t think about it until she comes back down the stairs with a nervous look on her face, clutching a piece of paper. “Oona?” I ask. “What’s up?”
“Well, umm, you see,” she hesitates. “Ms. O asked if I wanted to move positions. To the heart of the Odd Squad labs. I said yes.” She admits, guiltily. I’m overjoyed for her, even though I will have to find a new lab assistant. She’s been the best one I’ve ever had. “Oona that’s so cool!” I say, grinning. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow. It’s really abrupt, I know, but they need someone to fill the position ASAP, and Ms. O saw how well I handled the lab in your absence, apart from a few little incidents, so she recommended me! And if I go tomorrow, I’ll get the job!”
“That’s so cool, I’m so proud of you Oona! Best of luck!” I smile, and go back to my unpolarbearinator.

The next day though, the reality hits me like a truck. I’ve lost Oona. She’s gone. She might never come back. I might never see her again. It’s harder than ever to concentrate. I'm having to take deep breaths like every five minutes, and i'm getting nervous jitters. it's so bad that by lunchtime I’ve dropped like 12 gadgets and my lab is a mess. I have to get out of here. I take the tubes to Polly-graph’s lemonade stand. She hands me my usual, which I down in about two and a half seconds. I slam the cup back down along with a 50 cent piece.
“You alright Oscar?” Polly asks. I realise I’m still shaking and it’s not even that cold.
“Not really Polly.” I say. “Oona’s gone to a new position. I feel like, almost worse than I did after… well, that whole thing... Anyway, I thought I could handle it, thought I could handle her moving jobs but…”
“You can’t.” She says in her matter of fact way. “Here’s a graph, comparing the amount of work you did last Tuesday, when Oona was there, and today, when Oona’s not here.” The bar for today is a lot smaller and I don’t have to be a graph expert to know that I can’t handle Oona’s absence and I need her back. Polly hands me another glass of lemonade, which I drink, slower this time.
“It’s on the house.” She says, when I go to put another 50 cents on the bench.
“Thanks.” I say, gratefully. I don’t take the tubes back to HQ though. I walk, trying to clear my head. As I’m strolling down Main Street, taking in the sights and sounds, calming down, just breathing, I get the weirdest feeling, a prickling on the back of my neck, Like someone’s following me. I put it down to nerves. Obviously I’m still shaken up from Oona leaving, and from the kidnapping thing with Odd Todd. I shake myself and keep walking. I’m halfway to the manual entrance to HQ, when I think I see something out of the corner of my eye. Like a brightly coloured shadow. I speed up. Just as I’m about to get to the entrance, I scream, the highest pitched, girly girl scream ever. In my defence, I had good reason. Out of nowhere, Odd Todd had just popped up in front of me, scaring my socks off. I quickly regain my composure however, and fold my arms across my chest.
“What do you want Odd Todd?” I ask. Odd Todd cuts straight to the chase. Like STRAIGHT, to the chase.
“Join me Oscar! Together, we can overrun this world with oddness!” He says.

The request is so random, so utterly out of place, so forward that I’m stunned for a moment. Then I say, as loudly and confidently as I can, “I’m never joining you!”
“Oh Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. Don’t be so rash.” Todd tilts his head to the side and smiles wickedly. “I thought that you were going to… miss Oona.”
Those words hit like a semi truck.
“N-no.” I get out. Is he implying what I think he’s implying? That if I join him he can…? No. No. Not doing that. Never doing that. I meant it when I said if I never see him again it'll be too soon. seriously just the thought of him is enough to cause a mental breakdown. I think working with him would land me in the asylum.
“I won’t miss her!” I say, with way more confidence than I actually have. “Just because she was the best lab assistant I ever had, does not mean that I’ll miss her!” Which, in retrospect, maybe wasn't a good thing to say.
“Oh really? Are you sure about that?”
“Yes!” I say defiantly.
“Oh well, okay.” Todd says. “Well, when you do miss her, you know where to find me.” He hands me a business card, and then walks away laughing maniacally. I straighten my lab coat, and start the long walk back down the stairs to HQ. Where my lab will be waiting. And and an angry Ms. O. And a very big mess. And no Oona to help clean it up. I’m running after Odd Todd before I know quite what I’m doing.
“Odd Todd wait!” I yell, my lab coat flapping in the wind.
“Oscar!” He says, turning on his heel. “I knew you wouldn’t be too long. Come on.”

I follow Todd down the road and into an office building. My brain is actually screaming at me. This is such a huge mistake. What am I doing? I can't be doing this, can I? There he lays out his plans for reinstating Oona as my lab assistant. It’s an absolutely insane idea. So insane that it might just work. I refuse.
“I can’t do that. I’d lose my job!” I say, walking towards the door.
“Not even for Oona?” He asks. I stop in my tracks. Of course for Oona. That’s why I came after him in the first place. Todd walks toward me. “Come on Oscar. Would you really let her get away from you like that?” I can’t think of an answer.
“I-I don’t know.” I stammer.
“Think, Oscar.” Todd says and his face is maybe three inches from mine. “Do you want her back or not?” I can’t think. Todd’s proximity to me is making it hard for any sort of rational thought to form and for some weird reason I notice his smell. I had expected him to smell like dirty socks, but it’s a surprisingly nice combination of bubblegum, lavender, and a really fancy cologne that I can’t name. I like it. I shake myself.
“Of course I want her back!” I say, stepping back from him. “But that doesn’t mean I have to join you and pull off that insane plan!”
“No one else will care Oscar.” He says, walking toward me. I keep retreating until I can’t. My back is against the wall. Literally. “I am the only person who can help you, and if you accept my offer, things could be so much better.” His voice is deadly calm.
“No, no they couldn’t be!” I say, scooting along the wall in an effort to get away from him. He paces after me, and the room is so quiet that I can hear my heartbeat pounding in my chest. “I can get Oona back on my own. I don’t need your help!” I say through gritted teeth. I hit a corner. Immediately Todd closes in and braces one palm on either side of me. I’m trapped. Trapped again. And this time no now knows where I am. Im freaking out, and my heart beats so fast it hurts. I’m trembling. Odd Todd’s saying something and I can’t make out what it is. I just have to get him away from me. I try to move but it's like my limbs have frozen. I can’t move, and my breath is coming in rapid pants. His face is five centimetres from mine, so close I can feel his breath on my face. It’s pleasantly warm and, 'why am I noticing that??' He’s not talking. I think he’s waiting for a response of some kind. But I’ve lost all control over my own brain power now. I make a vague spluttering noise. ‘Why is he closer? When did he get closer?’ His mouth parts like he’s about to say something but then, ‘holy sh*t.’ Because Odd Todd’s mouth is on mine and it's simulateoulsly the best and the worst feeling ever. Maybe I wanted this once. But I dont want it now. I dont. I yank my head back and scramble out of the corner. I’m panicking, hardcore, and for a minute I can’t make words come out of my mouth. “Fine I’ll join you. Just- just stay the f*ck away from me.” I finally get out. Todd grins, maniacally. “Stunning. We’ll get started right away.” He says. I walk to the door of the room and storm out, not bothering to hold the door for him. The bastard doesn’t deserve that. Not after everything.

Once we’re inside, I escape for a moment, on the pretext of ‘setting something up’ for our plan. Instead I bolt straight up the metal stairs to Ms. O’s office and throw the door open. “Ms. O!” I cry. “We have a very very big problem!” Ms. O glares at me, but all she says is, “shut the door Oscar.” I do, and then I cross the room to her desk and explain the situation, omitting the whole kissing thing. Ms. O looks at me, and I can tell she doesn’t believe me, until my badge phone rings. I pick it up, swallow and answer the call as normally as I possibly can. “Yello?” My voice cracks.
“Oscar? Where are you?” Todd whisper-shouts back at me. “Sorry, I’ll be there in just a minute.” I reply, panicking. “I’ve run into some- unexpected technical difficulties.” Todd hangs up, which I hope hope HOPE, is a good sign. “See? Biiiig problem.” I hiss at Ms. O. She nods. Leave it to me.” She says. “I’ll call you when I’m done.”
“Do we maybe have like an ETA on how long? Cause you do not have much time, I promise you. That bastard is efficient.” I say.
“Five minutes, and then you’re good to go.” Count on Ms. O to be fast. I’m not complaining though. I thank her and sprint out of the office.

Todd’s drumming his fingers on the wall of the corridor when I get back, clearly impatient. “Sorry.” I say. “I thought I could do it faster but… technical problems. Sorry.” He nods, and then motions for me to follow him. I jog down the corridor behind him, trying my best not to scream. ‘How did I end up here?’ I curse silently, not talking, just following Todd, a shadow.

Everything is in place for a perfect… revenge plan? I don’t even know what you’d call it, when my badge phone rings. I fumble with it for a moment before answering. “Yello?”
“Oscar?” It’s Ms. O. “Where are you?” She asks. I hesitate, sensing that my answer to this question is very important, both in lying to Todd, and in telling Ms. O that everything’s ready. “I’m, uh- coming back from lunch! Yeah, yeah that’s it. I just need to make sure everything is ready in my lab, and then I’ll get straight back to work!”
“Ok, well I’ll be waiting for you, there’s a lot of work that needs doing.” Ms. O says. She’s understood. Great. Great. Good. Excellent. “Ok great chat Ms. O I gotta go, bye!” I say, and I hang up. “I really hope Ms. O believes that.” Todd says. “We’re gonna be in so much trouble if she doesn’t.”
“Yeah. I’m sure she will, it’ll be fine.” I say, nervously. Todd laughs. “Should we start?” He asks. I nod fervently. “I can make all the gadgets malfunction. Oona will have to come back.” I say. “That’s good.” Todd says. “Can we do it now?”
“Yeah. Watch this.” I pull out my watch and open it to the gadget page. Then before Todd can say or do anything, I’ve 'broken' half the gadgets in HQ. “Oscar what are you doing? This was not the plan!! Todd shrieks. I watch him flee from the scene, scared of me, just as Ms. O shows up.
“Oscar!” She smiles. “That worked so well! Good job!” She hugs me. Olive and Otto are there too, and are pretty ecstatic. And then Oona is running down the hall.
“I came as soon as I heard!” She cries, and wraps her arms around me. “Seriously boss I was gone for one day. I don’t think I should leave again.” She whispers. I laugh, but I don’t tell her that I broke the gadgets on purpose. I think she might leave just because of that.

Chapter 6: Chapter six: panic

Chapter Text

SEPTEMBER

It’s a week later and I don’t know what I’m doing here, or how I got here, but I’m standing outside the office block that Odd Todd works in. I don't know why I came here. Maybe it has something to do with the whole, kissing incident. Who even knows at this point. All I know is I came to a villain for help with whatever the f*ck is going on in my brain. Which is single handedly the stupidest thing i've ever done. Or the smartest? I don't even know a this point. I knock on the door, and when the doorman opens it, (Jesus Christ how well off are the people in this building that they have a doorman?) I rush to the reception desk.
“Please,” I say to the receptionist, “I need to see Odd Todd.”
“Who?” The receptionist looks at me like I’m insane. I fumble around in my coat pockets and eventually pull out his business card. I slap it on the desk. The receptionist looks at it, and then points toward the furthest elevator on the right.
“Don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone, just press the button.” She says, and pushes me away from her desk. I get in the elevator and press the only available button. The 43rd floor. Fitting. We go up. And up.

The elevator stops and I step out. Odd Todd is waiting there, and he looks shocked. “Oscar? What the hell are you doing here?” He asks, and Im shocked to see him out of his villain persona. It makes him seem almost human. ‘But he’s still a villain.’ I remind myself.
“I… I don’t actually know.” I say, honestly. “I just feel really confused and alone and sad and…”
“So you came to me?” Odd Todd sounds as confused as I am.
“Yeah.” I sink down to the floor “That sounds kinda stupid but I didn’t know who else to talk to and I know you probably don’t care but I just wanted to tell someone and I can’t really talk to Ms. O and Oonas off sick with dragon pox and I know its weird coming here because of literally everything but you were the smartest agent ever and we were maybe friends at one point but I know we aren’t now and thats fine and if you never want to see me again thats fine I'll find a way to cope but I just… needed someone to talk to.“ I say.
“Woah slow down. Let’s take this one step at a time. What’s going on?” I’m shocked to hear genuine concern in his voice.
“I just haven’t been feeling myself.” I confess. “Don’t get me wrong, my job is great and the squad is running really well, I just feel empty. Like, I’m missing something and I don’t even know what it is. It’s really weird because everything is normal, I just feel wrong. That probably doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
“No, not really.” Todd sits down beside me.“I… do you… I dont know, maybe you miss someone?” He sounds completely out of his depth.
“No I, I don’t think so. I mean, everyone that I’m close with is okay and I see them every day, Im sorry, you’re clearly out of your depth, I should go.”
“No it’s- it’s fine. So, not missing anyone…maybe you’re bored? With your job?”
I laugh, but it’s shaky. “Bored? At odd squad? You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Have you talked to anyone else about this? Like at all? Cause maybe you should see a doctor. or a therapist?” Todd says, and he sounds desperate.
“No I wouldn’t… I don’t think I could tell anyone else.”
Todd laughs, but it’s not his usual evil laugh. It’s not a particularly nice laugh, but it’s not evil. He puts his hand on my shoulder. “You really must be desperate huh?” He says. I’m too numb to register the fact that a villain is touching me. “Pretty f*cking desperate yeah.” I laugh. Todd grins and gets up. “Come on.” He says, gesturing for me to follow him. I do.

A little while later, I’m sitting on a nice couch in the office lounge, a cup of ice water in my hands. Todd’s sitting next to me, but at least three feet away, which is good. I feel better, and I’m about to excuse myself to go home, when Todd makes a weird suggestion. “If you want, Oscar, we could… talk about this more? Maybe not here but in like, a week, maybe at a cafe? Just so I know you’re still okay?”
“Uhh- I mean- only if you think you need to, today was kind of a one off, I don’t think that it’s really-“ I stammer.
“Yes. I really think we need to. After all, if you’re not working, odd squad isn’t running as efficiently. And if I want the fullest satisfaction of knowing I’ve taken down odd squad, I need it to be running like a well-oiled machine”
“Oh- okay.” I say. Im uncomfortable with his motives, and after the incident Im certainly not too keen to be spending more time around him, especially since today's visit was impulsive and desperate, but I’ll oblige him just this once. “Delivery Debbie’s, on Wednesday?”
“That works for me. And Oscar? If you need me, feel free to drop in.”
“Yeah, yeah, will do.” I say, knowing I never will. I get up, finish my water, thank Todd, and leave.

Chapter 7: Chapter seven: Friends?

Chapter Text

OCTOBER

I wish I could say that that Wednesday was the last time. I said that last time, but it became a past time. I hate to admit it, but Todd was really helping. And I kinda feel like we were, if not friends, certainly not enemies anymore. Like really good acquaintances. Really really good acquaintances. I can’t really tell anyone at odd squad about what I’m doing either. They’d kick me off.

It’s confusing. But I’m managing.

I’m sitting in a deserted corner of the park, waiting for Todd, collecting my thoughts. I still haven’t gone over to Todd’s office block since that day. But we do have each other’s phone numbers. Well, more accurately, he has the number for my badge phone, and I have the number for his burner phone. And he’s very touchy. Not like, overly sensitive, but kinda… physical. I don’t know if I like it or not. Sometimes I’ll find myself leaning away, flinching out of his reach. But other times, he’ll put his hand on mine, and I’ll hold it, or he’ll hug me and I’ll hug him back. It’s so confusing and weird. I have to keep reminding myself that he’s a villain, that he wants to take down odd squad but I think I’ve begun to separate his two personalities. Todd, my friend, my personal therapist, the guy I can have a really good time with when we let ourselves forget where we both work, and Agent 43, the villain.
I can see Todd walking over to me, and I move over, making room for him on the bench. His face splits into a grin.

“Hey.” He says, sitting down next to me.
“Hey look it’s my therapist!” I laugh.
“How have you been?” Todd asks. I take a moment to think about it.
“Alright. I think I’ve been holding up pretty okay. Works been keeping me busy. It’s good.” Todd nods his head and shifts closer to me, so close his hip almost is touching mine.

I have the weirdest feeling. Like butterflies in my stomach.

“Ms. O had us working on a top secret mission last week. That was pretty intense.” Todd laughs. His laughs don’t come easily, but they have been getting more frequent, and as far as I know, these nice, genuine laughs only come around me. I don’t know how to feel about that.
“You mean one of those missions where you can’t tell anything’s different until you walk into her office and the entire place has purply-blue mood lighting, everyone’s running everywhere, lights are blaring, Ms. O’s yelling random coordinates, and one wall of her office is a pin board?”
“Yeah. One of those. It’s okay though. Everything turned out alright.”
“I can’t ask for more details, can I?”
“Afraid not. Company policy, you being a villain and whatnot.” Todd hums noncommittally, and I wince. We try not to bring up the “V” word.
“Thought so,” he says. “Anything else of note?”
“Not really. Unless you count the unusual amount of cases Ms. O is sending Oona’s way.”
“Oh?” He sits up straight, eyes narrowed in interest. I curse silently. I shouldn't have said that.
“Recently Ms. O has been calling for Oona a lot more. And dont press for details cause I can’t give them to you. Partly because I dont know them myself.” I say, coldly. ‘Villain.’ I remind myself.
“I see.” Todd’s become closed off, fast. I sense it’s time for me to leave.
“Right well, I’ll see you next week, I guess.” I say, picking up my bag.
“Yeah sure.”

Chapter 8: Chapter eight: Disorder in the court

Chapter Text

OCTOBER

I regret our argument second I get home. But he can suffer. Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I’m going to give up the secrets of HQ for him all willy-nilly. No. I’ll call him tomorrow.

When I do call him, about an hour or two after lunch, he picks up on the third ring. “Odd Todd here.” He’s whispering.
“It’s Oscar. Is this a bad time? I’ll call back.”
“No it’s all good man. Go ahead.”
“Todd, I’m so sorry for yesterday. I was cold and rude and mean. And that was so sh*t of me. Just something inside me woke up and said, what the f*ck are you doing?!? Talking to a… well a villain.’ And… I did want to stay, I do like being around you, as weird as that is. And I just…” I break down in tears. I can hear Todd saying something, but I can’t make out his words. I take a breath, and stifle my tears. “Sorry, can you repeat that?” I ask.
“Yeah, sure dude. Listen, it’s not your fault. I know I’m very… perceptive. And I know im a villain. But youre my friend and I shouldn’t have tried to make you tell me anything. Im sorry..” He says ‘friend’ without any kind of hesitation whatsoever, and it makes me feel better. A lot better. I laugh, a very watery laugh. “Friends huh? Well that’s a turn up for the books. One that’ll get me fired. A villain, friends with an agent? Ms. O would kill.”
“Oh, yeah, definitely. You’d be so screwed bro.” He laughs. I giggle, which is something I’ve never done in my life, and I immediately regret it. But it makes him laugh harder, and I feel this weird joy, that I can make him laugh, along with another weird feeling I can’t quite name. Almost… almost like I could be… no. No. No. I squash that feeling and fall silent. Todd notices. I’m sure of it, but he doesn’t say anything. Suddenly, he gasps. “Oscar, I gotta go. I’ll call you back.”
“Why?” I say but he’s hung up. The very next second my ringtone blares out. I pick up the phone. “Yello?”
“OSCAR!”
“Yes, Ms. O?”
“Where are you?”
“I’m at home Ms. O.”
“Get your ass to HQ right NOW!!!
“May I ask why?”
“I'll tell you when you get here now get your butt in the tubes before i send a LASER CHICKEN AFTER YOU!!"
"Yes ma'am.” I’m in the tubes before I hang up.

I practically fall out of the tubes. “O’Malley, doors!” I yell. The doors are barely open when im through them and bolting toward Ms. O’s office. But im stopped dead in my tracks by a trial set-up. “Oh-no.” I whisper. “So that’s why he hung up.” Olive’s in the condemned spot. I don’t know what she did, but I think I know why I’m here. Sure enough, when I walk toward the trial, Olive’s face lights up. Otto ushers me to the witness bench.
“Please state your name for the court.” He asks.
“Oscar. I am Oscar” I say, confidently.
“Oscar, can you tell us where you were at 1:45?”
“Olive and I were eating lunch at 1:45.”
“So, Olive was busy eating lunch. Which means she couldn’t have stolen the town museum. Case closed. Again.” Otto sits back down. But then, Agent 43 stands up. He’s the one accusing Olive. Of stealing the town museum. Because of course he is. he’s a villain, after all.
“Not so fast.” He says. “Oscar, buddy.” He rushes to my bench. “Where did you and Olive have lunch?”
“At delivery Debbies pizzeria.”
“I would like to submit into evidence, this menu, from delivery Debbies pizza place.”
“It’s pizzeria.” I correct.
Agent 43 thrusts the menu at me. “Please read to the court what it says on the bottom line.”
“Ummm…Pizza delivered to your table in one minute or less.”
“One minute or less. so that means that the pizza must’ve come at 1:46”
“Yeah but we still have to eat it.”
“Well that must’ve taken awhile. what did you order exactly?”
I mumble an answer because I know that If I say it aloud it’ll get Olive in trouble.
“I’m sorry I don’t think our stenographer can hear you.” Agent 43 says with a wicked grin.
“Well… Olive was in a rush so we had bite sized pizzas.” I stare at my shoes.
“Oh really? You mean like this one here?” I don’t know where he got it, but he has a bite sized pizza alright.
“Yes.”
“If it would please the babies of the jury, I would like to see how long it takes you to eat that bite-size pizza.” Odd Todd says, grinning maniacally. I swallow. “I’m sorry Olive.” I stuff the pizza into my mouth. “A minute to order, and mere seconds to eat.” Odd Todd grins and lays his hand on mine. The subtle gesture of affection shocks the butterflies awake. It’s nice but now, now is NOT the time. And it’s Agent 43 touching me. Not Todd. I jerk my hand away from his touch. “Don’t touch me.” I say but my voice sounds hollow. “Sorry, Oscar. Didn’t think you were so… sensitive.” He laughs. “Well, you know what Olive? Because I had such a great guy I’ll give you four minutes. One minute plus four minutes is only five minutes. Which brings us to 1:50. Which means Olive still had 10 minutes to steal the town Museum. Oscar you are dismissed.” I walk sadly away from the witness bench.

Later, after Olive wins her trial, I call Todd. He picks up almost straight
away. “Odd Todd here.”
“Todd, what the hell was that?” I hiss.
“Oh, Oscar, it’s you! What was what?”
“Keep your voice down. I’m still in HQ. And you know what you did. The hand touching during the trial. I know were friends and all but you’ve gotta gotta get yourself under control. You were being a villain. When you’re a villain, we are not friends.” I hiss.
“Oscar, chill out.” Todd drawls. “It’s not like anyone noticed. And if they did, they didn’t care.”
“Todd, this isn’t funny! You could get me kicked off the squad. We have to be careful. If anyone, and I mean anyone at all finds out Im friends with a villain, it could be me in that trial bench.”
“I know. I’m, I’m sorry. It’s just talking to you, I forgot that there were other people around for a hot minute.”
“How? We were in the middle of a courtroom! Have you lost your mind?”
“I don’t know Oscar.” His voice is louder, more insistent. “I forget a lot of things around you. Like how you and me are so different. Like how we can never be anything but friends who sneak around, hoping not to get caught. Like the fact that… it doesn’t matter.” He sighs. “Im sorry. It’s not going to happen again.”

Chapter 9: Chapter nine: butterflies

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

Nothing. For two straight weeks. Work still continues as normal but, I haven’t heard a peep from Todd. Most agents are relieved. For me, I’m worried sick. And whenever I think about him the butterflies come back. Louder, more insistent each time. And I recognise them, what they mean. But I am adamantly refusing to accept them. He’s my friend. I’m sitting at home on my couch, when there’s a frantic knock at the front door. I get up and walk over to the door. I open it, and there, soaking wet and out of breath, is Todd.
“Thank f*cking god.” He says, and strides in like he owns the place.
“Todd, what-“
“No time to explain.”
“Yes time to explain.”
“Fine. Where’s your lounge room?”
“This way.” I sigh, walking to the couch I was just sitting in and flopping down. Todd sits down opposite me, his wet hair flopping over his eyes.
“Okay.” I say. “Explain.”
“It’s hard and complicated. But… some of the other villains, well, they say I’ve been too distant. Which is why I didn’t contact you and I’m sorry for that. But… according to Symmetric Al, I haven’t been causing oddness with my usual ‘verve’ whatever that means. So the other villains kinda- decided to find out what was wrong. They can be very… persuasive… when they wanna be. I got away and I didn’t know what else to do. So I had to come to you. I just… I got scared Oscar. I didn’t know what else to do.” He’s breathing hard, and he’s definitely crying. I cross the room and sit next to him. He leans his head on my shoulder and I awkwardly pat his back.
“I’m sorry” he sobs. “I’m sorry Oscar. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. This is not your fault I promise.”
“But it is my fault. We never should have become friends. I got so used to being around you that I- I- didn't- I forgot to cause oddness. And now I’m so so f*cked. And now you're f*cked because if they followed me they know where you are now and I’ve put you in danger-“
“Shhhh…. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m glad we became friends. This isn’t your fault.” Todd sniffles and draws his sleeve across his face. “You’re sure?”
“Positive. Stay right here, I’ll be back.” I rush to the kitchen, grab two mugs and zap them with the hotwaterinator. I slide back into the lounge room. “Here.” I say, passing him a mug. He peeps into the mug and bursts into giggling, hiccuping laughter. “Just water?”
“Yeah, I panicked. Also, I’m out of tea.”
“Wouldn’t you have a gadget for that?”
“It’s on the list.” I laugh.

We end up watching a movie on the couch, Todd’s arm around my shoulders, a plastic Tupperware of popcorn on my coffee table. I think I ended up falling asleep at some point in the movie because I wake up to the ending credits and Todd’s hand on top of mine. Not even holding it, just, resting upon it. I sit up, yawning, as my badge phone rings. Todd jerks his hand off of mine. I pick my badge phone up. “Yello?” I slur, holding back a yawn. “Oscar. It’s me, Oona. We got a siti’ation back at the lab.”
“How big?”
“Big enough that-“

“OSCAR!!!”

“-That Ms. O knows.”
“I’m dealing with something at home?”
“… Oscar.”
“Oona. You’re my head assistant”
“And I have no idea how to fix this one, or I would have!!" she shouts.
“Well, what is it?”
“I… the villains broke in and rewired the gadgets so now we don’t know what they do.”
“sh*t. Give me five.”

I hang up, mad as hell. No one touches my lab and gets away with it. Todd’s looking at me nervously. “What is it?” He asks. I force myself to breathe, deeply, because I know exactly how he’ll take this. “The-villains-broke-into-HQ-and-rewired-all-the-gadgets-so-now-no-one-knows-what-they-do-or-how-to-fix-it.” I say, without pause. Todd swears, violently. He shuts his eyes and takes a breath. “You can’t go in.”
“What no- I have to!” I say, gritting my teeth. “Ms. O needs me!”
“No. No you stay here. You stay here where it’s safe.” Todd looks frantic.
“Why!?” I shout. “They messed with my lab, I have to fix it. Todd squeezes his eyes shut and blows out a long sigh. “Oscar. Listen. I am a villain. I know how they think. I know what they do. I know that they probably want you to come in so that they can, I don’t know, kidnap you or something, because they want to use you as leverage against the squad. Probably so that Ms. O will be out of office and they can force me to wreak havoc because I haven’t been. Oscar, you can’t go in. Trust me on this one. Not after today.” He says. I’m saved from responding when my badge phone rings again.

“Yello.” I sigh, answering. It’s Oona and she’s panicking. Hardcore.
“Boss! Umm… the villains are here! Like at the lab! They’re offering to fix our gadgets in exchange for you? What do we dooooo?!?”
“I’m coming Oona.” I say. I hang up my phone. Todd grabs my arm.
“You’re not going anywhere.” He says. I wrench my arm from his grasp.
“The squad needs me.” I grit out. I pat myself down, checking for gadgets. Im fully stocked. Good. I give Todd a stiff nod and jump into the tubes. I’ll apologise later.

It’s chaos. Gadgets are malfunctioning left right and center. I roll up the sleeves of my lab coat, stride out into the middle of HQ and scream
“FREEZE!!” Thank god for voice recognition. The gadgets immediately deactivate. The agents and villains, oh god there’s a lot of them, stop moving.
“RIGHT!” I say, venom in my voice. “NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE, MESSES WITH MY LAB AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! YOU WANT ME? YOU’VE f*ckING GOT ME.” I reach behind my back with both hands and pull out the first two gadgets my hands close on. I take a deep breath.

Chapter 10: chapter ten: Oscar's Revenge

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

I'm in the tubes about naught point five seconds after Oscar. The tube operator gapes at me and I cringe, momentarily, but I shift into villain mode and zap them with the freezinator and then rush out after Oscar.

“FREEZE!” He screams and i’ve never heard him raise his voice this much or speak with that much power or venom. It’s scary and I can’t help thinking he would make a hella powerful villain. The gadgets stop moving, as well as the agents and villains. Even I unintentionally straighten my spine.
“RIGHT.” He spits. “NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE, MESSES WITH MY LAB AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! YOU WANT ME? YOU’VE f*ckING GOT ME.”

He reaches behind his back and whips out two gadgets. He bends his head for a moment and I see his shoulders rise and fall once. Evil Teddy and Fladdam take the chance to rush in from either side. But Oscar's head snaps up and and his arms flick out, gadget in either hand. he fires them in sync. There’s a burst of green light Fladdam is thrown backward into a brick wall. There’s a sickening crack as his head hits the wall. I get the feeling he’s not getting up again anytime soon. Meanwhile there’s a pulse of purple light and Evil Teddy is all of a sudden a vanilla pudding on the floor. Oscar blows green smoke off of one of the gadgets like its a gun and shoves the other away, drawing out a different gadget the next second and firing it at Symmetric Al, who falls backward in a blaze of blue, nearly mummified in ropes. Jamie Jam has crept around behind Oscar and as I'm opening my mouth to cry out, Oscar fires a small handheld gadget completely blind, hitting Jamie square in the chest with a laser-like beam of yellow. She cries out, a short sharp gasp, and doubles over, spitting blobs. I shudder. Oscar switches gadgets in mere nanoseconds and fires off three shots in rapid succession hitting Father Time, Noisemaker, and Evil Mime and encasing them in blocks of ice. He spins, lab coat flying, switching out gadgets yet again, to face Halvsey Harriet and Tiny Dancer, stopping them both in their tracks with puddles of tar and a giant cage, but he cops a blob of jam to the back from Jamie, who’d stopped vomiting blobs for just long enough to power up her gloves and take the shot. I melt further into the shadows as Oscar's assistant comes barreling toward Jamie and pins her to the floor. Oscar cracks his neck, switches out gadgets and fires off five shots, pinning various villains, some of them I’ve never even seen, or know only in passing, to the wall with sticky string. His aim is unerring.

I blow out a breath. No one's moving.

“Don’t come back.” Oscar says, in between heaving great breaths of air.
“Never come back. Tell your families you love them”

He stows his gadgets and surveys the carnage. Agents and villains alike stand shell-shocked around the bullpen. Fladdam is still out cold. Tiny dancer is curled up, whimpering. Jamie is still pinned underneath Oscar's lab assistant, who has the same fire in her eyes that Oscar has in his, violently throwing up blobs. Shape Shifter, who I don’t even recall Oscar shooting, has her hands in cuffs, and is trying fruitlessly to shift out of them. I turn and run to the tube lobby. Ive stayed long enough. I zap the tube operator out of their frozen state and wipe their memory (I was never here.) and catch the tubes back to Oscar’s house.

Chapter 11: Chapter eleven: arguments and apologies

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

It takes maybe 10 minutes to get all the villains out of HQ and the second they’re gone I double over panting. “Thank god thats over.” Oona shares much the same sentiment, laughing from the nerves. I take a moment to collect myself and grab a clean lab coat before I catch the tubes back home.

When I pop out of the tubes, Todds wringing his hands together and pacing the floor so hard that I’m shocked he hasn’t worn it down to the bare boards. He sees me the second I stumble out and grabs my shoulders, hauling me upright.
“You okay?” he asks, grabbing my face gently. “You okay?” he repeats.
“I’m good. Im good.” I say.
“Are you hurt?” He asks.
“No. No I’m all good.” I say.
“Then WHAT were you thinking Oscar?” He bursts out, dropping his hands from my face. “You scared me half to death. You, you could’ve been seriously hurt. You. NEVER do that again. NEVER. Do you hear me?”
“Yeah yeah I got it. I got it.” I say. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just its, odd squad labs, I get protective. And I, oh gee I’m so so sorry. I worried you and I- oh god I’m sorry. I-“ I wring my hands.
“Sorry wouldn’t haven’t fixed sh*t if you had got hurt.”
“I know.”
“Sorry wouldn’t have fixed sh*t if one of your gadgets had missed. Sorry wouldn’t have fixed sh*t if you had hit one of the odd squad agents.”
“I know th- wait what?” I say. How does he know about that little scene I caused?

“I followed you into HQ because you’re an idiot.” Todd explains. “I followed you because I know you and if you’d been hurt I was ready to risk it all for you, because you are my BEST FRIEND Oscar. And just because they can’t kill doesn’t mean they can’t hurt.”
“Right, and you would’ve subsequently gotten me kicked off the squad had you done that.”
“I could’ve made it look unintentional.”
“Oh I’m sure.” I say, and I’m actually mad. Does he not think I can take care of myself? “Im sure you could’ve made it look unintentional. But then where would you be, even if everyone bought it? The villains aren’t stupid they know somethings going on.”
“Yeah, maybe they do.” Todds mad too, shoulders squared, slipping into his villain side like it’s a mask. “But is that really MY fault? Or is it yours for coming to me like some clingy puppy when you felt a little bit sad and trauma dumping on me?”
“You’re just as much to blame for that. You could have walked away. You could have kicked me out. You could have done literally anything except help me!”
“Really? Is it every odd squad agent that assumes villains have no emotions or just you? I do have empathy you know. Im not a MONSTER!”
“Are you sure? Because you sure as hell aren’t doing a very good job of showing it!”
“I f*cking tried! But clearly you don’t care!”
“OH, I don’t care??!! If I ‘didn’t care’ I don’t think I would’ve opened the door to you today. OF COURSE I CARE! BUT YOU- YOU COULD’VE MADE ME LOSE MY JOB!”
“See thats the problem here! You care. Sure. But you only ‘CARE’ about your f*cking job!”
“Thats not true!”
“Prove it to me.” He hisses. “Prove you don’t only care about your stupid badge and bow-tie.”
“I-“
“You followed me to stop Oona from moving jobs. You came to me with your sad little ‘I can’t think straight’ story because you needed an answer to your distracted mindset so you could work better. You never tell me sh*t about your job, even though I’m your friend, just because I’m a villain. I can’t even be SEEN around you in f*cking public because I’m villain. And today, you went in, you scared me half to f*cking death, because you’re protective of the lab. It’s like I’m second to a f*cking building. You have to choose because I’m not going to pretend that this friendship is healthy. Im not doing that sh*t. You have to choose a priority.”

I wince, squeezing my eyes shut. I want to keep my job but also, I really really like being friends with Todd.
“I can’t just abandon my job for you, anymore than you can abandon the villains for me.” I say.
Todd just stares at me. I sense I have one sentence to make this right or he’s gone.
“But I still want to be friends with you so maybe we need to set some boundaries because I love hanging out with you and I am sorry I treated you so sh*tty and I am sorry I have prioritised my job over our friendship so if you could maybe forgive me for that and we can try and make this friendship healthier?”
He doesn't smile, but his glare softens. “Okay. Sorry for shouting at you?”
“It’s alright.” I say. “I did the same thing. But in my defence, it’s kinda your fault that I came to you because when I was mentally breaking down.”
“It was? How?” Todd asks.
“You- well you- uh- you kissed me. That day when you wanted me to bring down odd squad with you? To get Oona back? And I kinda freaked out after that. Like, you really threw me off.”
“Oh.”
“Can I ask why? Why’d you-“
“Kiss you? Uh, great question. You kinda spaced out and I needed you to focus.”
“So you kissed me?”
“Yes?”
“Most people settle for slapping me.”
“I may have also- thought that- you looked really kind of- very- maybe- just a little bit-attractive.”
“So you kissed me because?”
“I thought you looked kind of attractive and maybe being so close to you was messing with my head and making me very impulsive and you were spacing out so I did the only thing I thought of and kissed you to get your attention.”
“First of all.” I say, laughing a little, “thats the stupidest sh*t you’ve ever done.”
“I know.”
“Second of all, that proximity did something to me as well. And third of all, that way of getting my attention mightn’t have been the smartest thing you’ve ever done, but it worked.”
“Yep. But like, just for the record I dont, like, like you like that. It was just impulsiveness.”
The butterflies in my stomach curl up and die. “Oh yeah, no, me too.” I say. “So. Boundaries?”
“Right, boundaries.”

“Obviously, work is important for both of us, and we need to keep up appearances.” I say.
“Yeah. Learned that one the hard way.” Todd laughs.
“We so did.”
“So Im going to sound like such a hypocrite, but, maybe meeting in public places ISN’T such a good idea. Besides, before that little fiasco, I was having fun. Do you- live alone?”
“I- uh, yeah. I mean, it’s weird, but the mayor has apartments and houses set aside for Odd Squad agents with no parents. Because some of us are like, biologically 45 or 50, and then you have Ms. O and no one knows how old she is. its very complicated and there is a lot of science behind it that we DO NOT have time for right now. But yeah, I live alone.”

Todd whistles.

“Nice place. I just have an apartment. It’s a long story but I’m kind of the landlord for that block now so I live in one rent free. Not as nice as this place though.”
“You should see Ms. O’s house. It’s pretty much a mansion.”
“Mmm. Anyway, we should meet up at our houses more, it’s easier.”
“Yeah no, definitely. And we just keep it professional when we’re working.”
“Well it’s a less complicated deal than most things in my life. I’ll take it.” Todd laughs.

Chapter 12: chapter twelve: life

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

“I have a question.” Todd says, flopping backwards onto my couch. “You said you were protective of Odd Squad labs. Why?”
I laugh.
“Ohhh no, you don’t get that story. That, is a story for never. Thats a no, you do not that particular story.”
“Why not? It can’t possibly jeopardise Odd Squad security.”
“Because it’s a particularly embarrassing time period and I do not want to talk about it.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. It’s very, very embarrassing, and so was my hairstyle.” I groan.
Todd laughs. “Yeah that hairstyle was... something else.”
“Yes it was. So no, you don’t get that story.” Todd pouts and I laugh, digging my hands in my pockets. One of the gadgets I used during the face off with the villains was a little... faulty (for want of a better word) and I need to repair it. I pull out the small, hand-held gadget and sit down with my back to the couch. Todd leans forward, elbows on his knees, to watch me work.
“Whatcha doing?” He asks.
“Fixing this.” I say through a mouthful of screwdriver. Todd co*cks his head to the side.
“It seemed like it worked fine?” He says. I shake my head, pulling off the cover. A small plume of acrid smoke billows out. I cough, covering my nose and mouth with the edge of my lab coat and start sifting through the tangle of wires for the circuit board. It’s not in very good shape. There’s a large crack down the middle and a burnt spot on one edge.
“Oooh thats baaaaad.” Todd says, as I wriggle it free. I nod, tossing the damaged board over my shoulder into the trashcan and fishing around in my lab coat for a spare.
“I'm honestly shocked it even fired at all.” I say, putting the new circuit board down next to me and ripping out a few dead wires. “Its functionality is compromised as a result of a physical damage incurred to its internal components. More specifically, the circuit board has been rendered inoperable, the electrical conductors have experienced thermal damage, and the power supply unit has been shattered.”
“Can I get that in English maybe?” Todd asks as I fish out fragments of the shattered power cube.
“It’s very broken.” I say, dropping the pieces onto my coffee table. “Like, very, very broken. Like, should’ve turned her into a statue, temporarily, and very obviously didn’t, broken.” I mutter, rooting around under the sofa with one hand for the spare wires I keep there. (Don’t ask.) I pull them out from under the couch and root around in the drawers of the coffee table for a new power cube.

“Should’ve turned her into a statue? Okay yeah that's a busted gadget.” Todd says, as I pull out five or six different 3D shapes, all of which aren’t cubes, and toss them over my shoulder before going back to searching. “How did it even GET that busted?”
“I probably dropped it? Like, a lot? It happens.” I say, tilting my head to the side to better see in the drawer.
“Maybe you should put more handles on your gadgets?”
“Mmm, yes, handles on a handheld. Makes perfect sense.” I say, groping in the back corner of the drawer for a small object thats just out of my reach.
“Touché” Todd says as I triumphantly pull out the small power cube, whacking my elbow in the process. I grin and stand up, taking all the loose bits of gadget with me to the kitchen which is really not the best place to have converted into a part-time lab, but its probably fiiiiinnnneeeee right? Todd follows me, and I can just SEE his face morph into an expression of disgust. Okay fine. My kitchen is not that clean. But it’s okay. It's fine.

“This is not a hygienic living space.” Todd says. I cringe.
“I'm working on cleaning it?” I say. It’s a lie though. I haven’t cleaned this space in about a month other than to take the bin out. Todd, however, is incredibly perceptive and doesn’t take my bull for two seconds. He stares at me until I move my ass out of that kitchen, and then starts filling the sink and scrubbing the hell out of my dishes. I just sit there silently rewiring the gadget as Todd cleans my kitchen like a f*cking whirlwind.
“When did you last clean this kitchen Oscar?” He asks, sweeping broken gadget parts into a bin bag. I stay silent, re-attaching a particularly fine wire to the circuit board. “Oscar. You can’t ignore me just because your kitchen is a mess because there are chemicals on the bench and I don’t know what to do with them.”
“Colours?” I ask, face literally inches from the circuit board as I attach wires.
“What?” Todd asks.
“What colours are the chemicals?” I clarify, fishing around in my lab coat for tweezers.
“uhh, two yellow, three green, one pink, four blue, a purple and 2,4,6,8,10,12, wow thats a lot, varying shades of orange.”
“Sounds about right.” I say. “Okay, yellows can be tipped down the sink, but tip the pink one out in between the yellows or you’ll blow up the street, um, greens put in the bin, dilute the blue ones with maple syrup before you tip them out, put the purple on the house plant on the window sill, and then orange sort in shades from lightest to darkest, tip them into a yellow cup, stir for three minutes until they’re the same colour as the cup and then put it in the freezer. If it doesn’t go yellow tell me cause then we need to run, preferably out of the country, because you’ve done it wrong.”
“Okay.” Todd says. “What happens if I successfully turn it yellow?”
“Then it makes a great sore throat relief.”
“How did you-“
“You don’t wanna know.” I deadpan. Todd raises his eyebrows but says nothing, instead following my instructions to a T. I find my tweezers and insert the power cube into its slot. This is fiddly work, and I’m going to blow something up if I’m disrupted, or turn the house into a blob, or stone, or a blob vomiting stone house, and I DO NOT have a gadget to fix that.

“O-“ Todd starts to say but I hold up two fingers to silence him.
“Ah, no!” I say. “Complete silence. Concentrating.” There’s a moment or two of tense silence while I connect the power cube. When its finally in I blow out a breath. “God that’s the worst part.” I say.
“Yeah…” Todd says, in a strained, half whispering voice. “Nothings gonna blow up now?” He asks, tilting his cup toward me.
“Yeah no, we’re all good.” I say, leaning backwards in my chair and rubbing my temples. “Could you hand me a strawberry please? Bottom shelf of the fridge, they are edible, I bought them yesterday. Actually, f*ck that, just give me the whole punnet please.”
Todd snorts and rummages through the fridge for a moment before handing me a punnet of strawberries with a laugh.
“Look these might be fresh but most of your fridge man… you gotta clean that thing.”
“Oh, but thats what I have you for!” I say through a mouthful of strawberry. “You clean the kitchen, I do the gadget maintenance. Strawberry?”
“Ooh, yes please. And I’m not your personal servant, clean your own bloody kitchen!”
“Says the one who started cleaning my kitchen!”
Todd bites his lip in frustration. “You win. Strawberry. Now.”
I toss him a berry, laughing. “Pass me the circuit board please?”
“Fine- wait woah.” He says, dropping the circuit board on my lap. “You’re not going to attach that yet are you?”
“I- yes?” I say, confused.
“No, you’re not. Look here, and here.” He point to several places inside the gadget. “These connection ports are charred, the gadget won’t work properly if they aren’t fixed.”

He’s right.
He’s very perceptive.
He’s too smart for his own good.
And he’s a villain.

“Are you sure?” I say, immediately cringing at the harshness in my voice.
“Yes. I used to build gadgets too, Oscar.”
“I- I know. Im sorry. That came out a lot… harsher than I intended. You might be a bad guy but you’re not a ‘bad guy’ if you catch my drift.”
“Yeah, I get it. And for the record I do the same thing so, don’t sweat it.”
“What, you judge me because I’m-“
“An agent? Yeah. Im just better at hiding it that you are. Perks of villainy I guess.”
I hum, and squint at the connection ports. He’s totally right and unfortunately I don’t have an easy fix for this, even back at the lab. “Well that's a bust. At least until I can get parts in.” I say, chucking the gadget down on the kitchen bench. Todd swoops down and picks it up.
“Find somewhere else for this.”
I sigh and tuck it in my lab coat.

Several hours of vigorous cleaning later and my kitchen is finally, in Todd’s words, “it’s not Gordon Ramsey’s kitchen, but its at least habitable.”
And in my words, “cleaner than it was when I moved in here.”
We collapse on the couch, exhausted, flopping against each other. I hold out my hand limply for a high five. Todd slaps his hand into mine and then slumps his head onto our hands.
“Never. Never again.” He mutters, leaning heavily on our hands until he’s lying across my legs with his head on the couch, our ands trapped beneath his forehead. “Mhhhmmmfffmmmmmmhhhppphhh”
“Im sorry what?” I laugh.
He takes his head off of our hands. “I’m going to sleep.”
“Do you wanna use the guest room?”
Todd sighs, and I wait for him to get up, or at least respond, but his head slumps forward and I realise he’s asleep.

Chapter 13: Chapter Thirteen: Trials and Tubulations

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

I wake up, stiff and sore, with Todd still draped over my legs. The birds are chirping outside the open window and I realise we must have slept the entire night through. I check my watch, rubbing sleep out of my eyes. 10:45. Crap. I should’ve been in the lab an hour and fifteen minutes ago. I shake Todd awake. He rolls off my legs and lands on the floor in a grumpy heap.

“I have to go into work.” I say.
“Join the villains. We don’t have office hours.”
“Thanks, but no thanks.”
“Take the day off?”
“Cant. There’ll be so much paperwork after yesterday.”
“Ughhhhh. Just stay here, who even needs a job, we’re kids!”
“Todd. Let go of me.”
“No. Ive kidnapped you yet again.”
“No, you haven’t. You’ve merely draped yourself over my shoulders like a living fur coat.” Its true, he has.
“And I have absolutely no intention of letting you go. Either you drag me into work with you, which will end, horrendously, for everyone involved, or stay here for the day and rest.”
“Im going into work. But before I do that, I am getting you home. Where do you live?”
“43 Main Street”
“Why am I not surprised? Come on, in the tubes.” I sigh, pulling him off me and shoving him in the tubes.

The thing you have to understand about the tubes is, no one knows how they work, and if you try to understand it, your brain will explode. With that in mind, we headed towards Todds apartment. There was just one teeny problem. You aren’t- technically- supposed to eat in the tubes. And I kind of maybe did. Look, I woke up ten minutes ago with a boy sleeping on me, would you be thinking straight? So I grabbed an apple and was eating it in the tubes and they kind of crashed a little bit. And when I say a little bit I mean a lot bit. Right in the middle of this weird forest.
“What happened?” Todd asks, standing up. I bite my lip guiltily.
“My bad. I was hungry.” I say, holding up my half-eaten apple.
“Oh my god Oscar. Call Ms. O.” Todd growls. Im too tired and annoyed at myself to argue so I do as he says.

~

“Can you tell me where you are?” Ms. O says, when I've explained the whole situation.
“Well we- I’m definitely in a forest.” I say. I've omitted the part about being stuck with a villain for the sake of sanity.
“Hang tight Oscar. I’ll go speak to O’Donnell. Im sure she’s got it under control.”
I’m put on hold as Ms. O goes to speak with O’Donnell.

~

One intense, half asleep, very much out of it discussion about why we call the seasons what we call them later, and my badge phone rings again. It’s Ms. O, and it’s not particularly good news. “Oscar, it’s gonna take a little longer than I thought to get you out of there.”
“No worries Ms. O. Im all good out here. This forest is kind of awesome. You should check out the sparkly rocks!”
“Sparkly rocks?” Ms. O’s voice goes up an octave. “You’re in sector 21!!”
“Should I be worried?” I ask.
“No, not at all, why would you be worried??” Ms. O says, nervously.
“Because you sound worried…”
“Probably bad phone connection. Im sending you a map to help you figure out where you are, where the tube entrance is, and the best way to get there.”
I pull out a tablet. “I got it. Thanks Ms. O”

I hang up. Todds looking at me all worried like. “Please tell me she didn’t say sector 21.” He says.
“Okay. She didn’t say sector 21.”
“She did, didn’t she.”
“Yes.”
“sh*t. It’s too early for this. Map. Now. … Please.” He adds
I hand him the map. He studies it for a moment. “Look for landmarks.” He says.
I scan the surrounding area before my eyes light on a polka dotted mailbox and a striped bench. We're roughly in the middle of them. I point them out to Todd.

“Okay… so we just walk straight ahead.” He mutters. I sigh in relief. Straight ahead is easy.
We begin the walk towards the tube entrance, and it’s actually not bad. Sure, we are in sector 21, whatever that is, because Todd and Ms. O won’t elaborate, but it’s a nice walk otherwise. But we haven’t gone very far before there’s a rippling in the air and all of a sudden it’s like we’re moving through treacle.

“What’s going oooooonnnnn?” Todd asks
“I don’t knowwwwww” I reply. We’ve gone about one step through this weird treacle-air when there’s a hand on my shoulder and I’m pulled back out. Todds still stuck though, but he’s very wisely not moving. I turn to my rescuer only to find its “Logan the Ogre?”
“Oscar the human?” He sounds just as shocked as I am. “What were you doing on the slow motion path. And with a villain too!”
“He’s not a villain, he’s my friend, get him out of there!” I say. Logan raises his eyebrows at me but pulls Todd out. (None too gently either.)
“Anyway what were you boys doing on that path?” Logan asks.
“The tube we were travelling through broke, we are headed to another tube entrance.” I explain.
“ I wouldn’t go that way.” Logan says
“We’d surmised as much.” Todd says, dryly.
“Be nice.” I hiss at him.
“Have you boys got a map?” Logan asks. I pull out our map and show him where we need to get to.

“Well right now you want to go this way, up toward the rock statue, and when you get there, take a right, go over the bridge and voila! That's the safest route, and let me tell you thats saying something, this forest is super dangerous.”
I gasp in shock and send a glare at Todd who is shifting on his feet looking very guilty.
“It’s not the safest place in the world.” He admits.
“Off you go now boys!” Logan says, waving at us. Todd starts off toward the rock statue but I hang back. “Hey Logan? If you could maybe not mention I’m friends with him to anyone that’d be great. It’s a secret.”
“Sure, you got it Oscar. Good luck!”

~

After we’ve been walking for a while, my badge phone rings.
“Yello?”
“How you doing Oscar? Enjoying a nice stroll through the forest?”
“Ms. O, I know the deal about the forest.”
“I wanted to tell you, I just got really busy. How close are you?”
“Look I’m taking a longer route but I found some cool yellow flowers!”
“Yellow flowers? RUN!” Ms. O yells.
‘Why?’ Todd mouths at me, when all of a sudden we hear a chicken clucking. I gasp.
“LASER CHICKENS!” Ms. O yells down the phone. I scream and we scramble into hiding. It doest really work though. Everything we crouch behind gets blasted into bits.
‘What do we do???’ Todd mouths at me.
“I have an idea!” I shout.
“Great! What is it?” Ms. O shouts back.
“I- lied. I don’t have an idea.” I say, defeatedly.
“I do though!” Ms. O says. “Laser chickens have terrible eyesight. Cover yourself in mud.”
“Really?” I say. Todd gestures frantically to the side of the path.
“Okay, Ms. O whatever you say.” I sigh, and hang up the phone. We dash to the puddle of mud Todd spotted and start covering ourselves with it. When we’re done, we walk slowly out into the open and stand stock still. The chickens lose interest quickly.
“It’s working!” I mutter.
“I know! And we’re covered in mud! How odd!” Todd mutters back, sounding elated. I sigh.
“Let’s go.”
We shuffle awkwardly out of the laser chickens territory, and then break into a run. Neither of us wants to spend any more time there.

When we’re a fair distance away I chuck Todd a towel and we rub the mud off our faces.
“What now?” He asks, stashing the towel somewhere in his suit.
“Uhhh, keep walking till we hit the rock statue, and then down toward the bridge I think.”
“Right so the next landmark should be right about… there!” Todd smiles as he spots the rock statue. That statue has some impressive skill on the guitar. “Okay so we go… right here, right?” Todd says.
“Yeah so thats…that way!” I say, pointing confidently. Todd laughs.
“How about that way?” He says, pointing the other way.
“But thats left?” I say. Todd laughs again and holds up his hands in two L shapes. “Here’s how you remember it. This one time I got chased by a rabbit from my left. So I always remember that L stands for Rabbit, which is on the left. Which means my other hand is my right hand. Which means we go this way.” He says, pointing down the path he originally pointed out. We start down the path but are stopped by the rock statue, who points to the stone cup by his feet and asks for any spare change we might have. We empty our pockets, apologising, and move on.

~

After walking for a few more minutes we come to a man sitting behind a desk, just in front of a bridge. “Good morning.” I say, politely.
“Ah! Sorry boys but you’ll have to answer a question to get past.”
“Oh, actually sir we’re kind of in a rush, so if you dont mind-” Todd says.
“Actually, I do mind.” The man says, rising from his chair. He has octopus tentacles for legs. I scream, and Todd stammers out,
“We-we’ll answer your questions gladly sir.” To our relief, he sits back down and begins searching for a question. Eventually he finds a question.
“What dance am I thinking of?” he asks
“Uhhh- square dancing?” I guess.
“Shim sham shimmy?” Todd queries. The man butts in.
“Let me stop you right there. You need to guess the dance by actually showing me the dance.”
“Seriously?” I sigh.
“Oh yeah.” The man says.
“Well come on. Let’s try tango first. I’ll lead.” Todd sighs, pulling out a rose, white instead of red, in contrast with his brightly coloured but very muddy suit and grips it between his teeth. He pulls me tight to him, with one hand, and grabs my free hand with his other hand. My stomach flutters. We tango up and down the path and strike a pose.
“No.”

We try the shim sham shimmy.
“No.”

We breakdance.
“No.”

We do the Macarena.
“Nope!”

We try the robot dance.
“Negatory.”

We do a TRADITIONAL RUSSIAN DANCE FOR GODS SAKE.
“NO!”

We waltz, we do hip hop, we do Tik Tok dances, we do some swan lake ballets. Nothing.

“We’ve done every single dance!” Todd complains.
“You’ve missed one.” The man says. “Here’s a clue, it rhymes with ‘the chicken dance.’”
“Is it the chicken dance?” I say.
“Oh I always do that wrong!” The man complains. We do the chicken dance with deadpan faces as the man’s phone rings. The man looks defeated. “That’ll be my boss. I had one job and I messed it up.”
I’m immediately sympathetic toward the man. I get that feeling. “Oh no man you didn’t mess it up, it was a lucky guess.”
“Really?”
“Yeah!” I say, stepping on Todds foot.
“Ow, yes, just a lucky guess!” He yelps.
“Oh, okay! Go on ahead!” The man smiles. Todd high-fives me and we run on ahead over the bridge.

As we cross the bridge we spot the tube entrance and cry out for joy. We run up and shift the rocks off the plates. “Can you get home by yourself?” I ask
“Yeah. Can you get to HQ okay?”
“Reckon so.”
“Okay, well here goes nothing.” Todd says, standing on one plate. I take the other.

“Preparing to squishinate! Squishinating!” We shout in unison, crouching down into little balls. Nothing happens. “Odd.” I say. Todd gives a small chuckle. We try again.
“Preparing to squshinate! Squishinating!”

We crouch down again but nothing happens.
“They must still be fixing them.” I say. “But at least we can see the sunset. Wow we spent ages in here.” The look of absolute terror on Todds face is unmistakeable, hes gone as white as a sheet. “Todd? What’s wrong?”
“Nighttime in sector 21 is dangerous.” He says, voice trembling, but I can see why he’s scared.
“Todd. Please dont tell me that-“
“The forest is coming to life!” Todd says, almost in a scream. We fall to our knees, banging on the tube entrances.
“Ms. O, hurry!” We shout. Its fruitless.
“We gotta hold off these vines until the tubes start working.” I say. “Pruning shears?”
“Pruning shears.” Todd agrees. We pull out a giant pair of scissors. Todd wrenches them in half so we are both wielding scissor swords. We charge the plants, whacking them back until our halves are ripped out of our hands.

Todd grabs my hand and we retreat back to the tube entrances in a panic.
“Oscar.” Todd says, still holding my hand. “Whatever happens today, I want you to know, that I wouldn’t trade our friendship for anything. I-“ but his next words are cut off as the tubes spring into action, wrenching his hand from mine. Im whizzed off to HQ and Todd is whizzed off home.

I land in HQ to like half the tube operators and Ms. O cheering and clapping. I step out of the tubes.
“O’ Donnell, O’ Malley, O’ Connell, O’ Callaghan, O’ Mooney, O’ Conner, O’ Duffy, O’ Hanagan, O’ Brady. Thanks for your help.” They cheer and clap again, and I take a small bow. Ms. O steps forward.
“Welcome back Oscar. And well done tube operators.” I politely applaud the tube operators and then make my way into the lab, almost crying with relief.

Chapter 14: Chapter fourteen: Rise of the Hydraclops

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

I guess I’ve known this day was coming for a while. Mentally preparing if you will. The Arrival. But the whole sector 21 headache made me lose track of the days. So when I come in to the next day, I expect it to be a normal day. And until Olive and Otto walk in, it totally is. And then Olive says “Happy Friday Oscar!”
I flinch. “It’s Friday today!?”
“What’s wrong?” Otto cries.
“W-well I thought today was Thursday, a-and it’s Friday, so that means The Arrivals' happening today!”
“The Arrivals' happening today?” Says Ms. O, popping up out of nowhere.
“It is!” I cry, just as Olive loudly says, “Everyone stop! What’s arriving?”
Ms. O ushers us to her office, yelling for Oona to join us. When we’re all assembled, Ms. O shows us a photo of,

“The Hydraclops.” I say.

“Woah.” Olive and Otto say in unison. Oona’s mouth falls open in shock. “This photo was taken 100 years ago. Imagine how terrifying it’ll be in colour.” I explain.
“If that thing rises out of the town lake, it’ll destroy the whole world!” Ms. O exclaims.
“How do we stop it?” Olive asks.
“Thats the good news.” I say. “When I was five years old I realised that the Hydraclops was coming. So I created a powerful weapon, and buried it.” I remember that night like it was yesterday. Standing in the town park with a shovel and a bike, covered in dirt, burying my weapon.

“It is done.”
Killer line five year old me.

I shake myself out of my reminiscence. I pull out a map and lay it on Ms. O’s coffee table.
“This shows where the weapon is buried.” Ms. O nods her approval.
“Olive, Otto, help Oscar find that weapon. AGENT OLAF!” She calls. Olaf materialises. “Oona, you, me and Olaf are going to get everyone away from the town lake.”
“Yayyyy!” Olaf says. Ms. O looks like she’s immediately regretted her decision.
“This is serious Olaf. Maybe I should pick someone else to goooo!” She says as Olaf drags her and Oona out of HQ by their wrists.
“Come on guys. We’ve got work to do.” I say to Olive and Otto, dashing off.
“Oscar!” Olive calls, before I get too far. I turn around. “Yeah?”
“The map?”
“Oh yeah.” I say, grabbing it. “Im so glad you guys are doing this with me.

~

We take the tubes to the park. I make my way to a familiar tree.
“The map says that the treasure is exactly 10 Normans away from this tree.”
“What’s a Norman?” Otto queries.
“My favourite teddy when I was five.” I explain.
Olive looks confused.
“Couldn’t you have just measure with a ruler like everyone else?”

I scoff. “Psh, yeah and just hand over the world to the Hydraclops! Rulers are everywhere! There’s only one Norman. So even if the Hydraclops got my map, he wouldn’t have my teddy bear to measure with.”
“But, we only have one teddy bear, and the map says it’s buried 10 teddy bears away.” Otto points out.
“Oh thats easy.” I say, crouching down by the foot of the tree. “As long as you keep your place, you can use the same teddy bear ten times. You just have to make sure that when you start a new bear you get its head right up to the line you make with your fingers. That way you know you’re measuring really carefully.”

Ten Normans later we dig up the chest. I pull out another map, much to the dismay of Otto and Olive.
“Another map?” They cry.
“Of course! I say. “What do you think I’m just gonna hand over the world to the Hydraclops?” I unfold the map. “The map says that the next chest is 50 Schmumbercrunch granola bars from this spot. My favourite kind. There’ll be some more at HQ.”
“Okay.” Otto says. “You two go, I’ll keep guard.”
“But you love food?” Olive says.
“Yeah. It’s cool.”
“Ohhkay. Let’s go Oscar.” We take off running for the tubes.

~

Back at HQ we cant find a Schmumbercrunch ANYWHERE, or at least until O’ Malley walks past.
“Hey guys!” He waves.
Olive gasps. “Did you see that?”
“I know!” I say. “O’ Malley’s always so friendly!”
“NO! He was holding a Schmumbercrunch bar!” Olive and I exchange a glance, and then take off running after him. He yells in a panic and bolts to the tube lobby, throwing himself behind the controls.
“What do you want?” He asks.
“Offical odd squad business, we need that snack!” Olive says.
“Official odd squad business, no.” O’ Malley says.
“You don't understand!” I cry in a panic. “It’s the only way to stop the Hydraclops!”
“Huh. Good one.” O’ Malley scoffs, starting to open the bar.
“Wait!” Olive shouts holing out her hands. O’ Malley pauses. “We dont actually need the bar. We just need something as long as the bar to measure with. Just, please, can we borrow the Granola Bar?”
O’ Malley sighs and slaps the granola bar into Olives hand.
“Thank you.”
She says, grabbing a car off the desk. It’s too long, and the rubber I pick up is too short. The actual legitimate sword that O’ Malley produces and I quote,
‘For dragons,’ is just a tad bit too long as well.
“What about this pencil?” I say, holding it up. Olive takes it and measures it against the granola bar.
“It’s the exact same length!” She cries out, joyously.
“Let’s go save the world!” I exclaim. Olive hands O’ Malley his granola bar and we take the tubes back to the park as fast as possible.

~

50 pencils later we dig up another map.
“Another one?” Olive and Otto grump.
“What do you think?” I say, incredulously. “Im just going to-“
“Hand over the world, we get it.” Olive finishes for me. I scowl. I like that line.
“This is the last map though I promise. The next chest should be easy to find. I used 100 of my own footsteps. Let’s go heel-to-toe.” I start walking.

100 steps later we dig for the final chest but,
“What? Where is it?” Otto says. It’s not there.
“I counted exactly 100 steps!” I say, confused.
“What do we do now?” Otto asks in a panic.
“I don’t know!”
“But you’re supposed to know!” Olive says.
“I know!” I growl through my teeth. Olive sighs. My badge phone rings.

“Yello!” I say.
“Where’s that weapon?” Ms. O demands.
“Uh, sorry Ms. O, we ran into a small problem.” I explain.
“Well fix it!” She shouts. “The Hydraclops is starting to rise!”
“We cant hold it off much longer!” Oona yells.
I nod grimly and hang up, walking back to Olive and Otto.
“The map said 100 footsteps.” I say, bewildered.
“Maybe you read it wrong.” Otto suggests. “Your handwriting must’ve changed since you were five.”
“Thats it! You were five! When you were that little, your feet were little!” Olive says “And because you’re bigger, it won’t take AS many steps to reach the treasure. Only thing is, how are we supposed to know how big your five year old foot was?”
Fortunately, I have a solution. my lab coat stores a lot of things, including brass models of my shoe sizes throughout the years. I find my five year old shoes and we rush back to the hole we made before this one.

~

100 five year old shoes later and we dig up the last chest. “Got it!” I cry, ecstatic. We rush to the beach.

“We got it Ms. O!” I say, as we tumble onto the sand.
“Just in time!” She says, as Oona and Olaf scramble out of the water, snorkels askew, dripping and shivering. She hands Oona two towels, and Oona passes one to Olaf, who ignores it and shakes the water off like a dog.
“We cant hold him off any longer. Look.”
We turn to face the ocean. Sure enough, the Hydraclops has risen, green and pink, roaring and ugly, out of the water. I pull out the weapon.
“A sock?” Everyone asks.
“Not just a sock. A really stinky sock. ‘Cause it’s been buried for so long.” I explain
“Hope you don’t mind me asking Oscar, but how is that going to stop the Hydraclops?” Oona asks.
“It is effective because the Hydraclops monster has heightened olfactory sense due to its increased nostril capacity.” Olaf says. I blink in surprise.

“Whaat?” Everyone asks.
“It has a big nose for smelling!” Olaf simplifies. Oh. That makes sense. I stride down to the waters edge. Olive and Otto take a deep breath (and I can see the instant regret in their faces when they do, it is one stinky sock, and follow me. Ms. O and Oona exchange a look that I can’t quite read and do the same, and Olaf brings up the rear.
“Go back to the depths from which you came from.” I say. The sock seems to glow in my hand, emitting its stink powerfully. The Hydraclops writhes in the water, flings a tentacle over its enormous nose and disappears with a splash. We cheer and high five, and Ms. O hugs Oona so tight I think that one of them might die.

“Thank God thats over!” I say. “Everyones safe! Well, at least for the next hundred years!”
“What?” Ms. O asks,.
“And then he’ll be returning with his brothers and sisters!” I say, brightly.
“What!” Ms. O says, while Oona collapses on her shoulder with terrified laughter. They remind me a bit of me and Todd.
“Socks off everyone.” I say. They all crouch down and start stripping off their shoes and socks in a panic.

Chapter 15: Chapter fifteen: troublemaker

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

The next bloody DAY after the Hydraclops rises, Odd Todds back in business and causing trouble.

“Hello, Odd Squad!" He says, over video. "Id- id say all your names but there’s an awful lot of you. That doesn’t matter! Because do you know what i’ve done? Ive turned the town, upside down! And if you don’t find me within an hour, it’ll be upside down, forever!”
Ms. O sighs and I pinch the bridge of my nose. That boy, I swear. Never dose anything by half measures. Ms. O clears her throat.
“Okay, listen up agents! We have one hour to find Odd Todd and put the town back upright and we don’t know where to start so let’s split up!I want you all out on the field ASAP! Well? What are you waiting for? GO!”
We scatter. I grab Oona and we dash out the doors.

Now, I’m best friends with Todd so I know more than most about him, but I have to act clueless. So me and Oona check the park, the lake, the library, the theatre, the bakery, and about five or six different warehouses before we flop onto a bench, exhausted. I screw up my forehead, thinking. If I were Odd Todd (ie: my best friend), where would I be? Either at his house, his work, or my house. But how do I bring that up without Oona clueing in that all is not all as it seems?
“Do you have any ideas?” Oona asks. I scrunch my eyes shut.
“Uhhhh… maybe? We could try… his office? I mean I know where it is so…”
“It’s the best shot we’ve got. Let’s go.” She says.

We arrive at the office block Todd works in and I flash the business card he gave me all those months ago at the receptionist. She smirks and gestures to the elevator. I grab Oona’s wrist and pull her inside.
“Where did you get that card thingy?” She asks, when the doors slide shut.
“Long story. I’ll tell you later.” I mutter as the elevator ascends. Oona raises her eyebrows but doesn’t press the issue. The elevator stops at the 43rd floor and we bust out into a room of very concerned web developers. Oona blushes and I wring my hands, muttering an apology.
“Are you looking for Todd?” One of them asks. We nod.
“He’s not here, but he said if any Odd Squad agents came looking for him to give them this.” He says, handing me a baby rattle. I shudder, thank the man, and drag Oona back into the elevator.
“What are we supposed to do with that?” She asks.
“We have to go see Baby Genius.” I grit out. “How much time do we have?”
“Uhhh not sure.” Oona confesses.
I point out a convenient clock on the wall. “Well its 2:30 now, and we started at 2:00, so If we count on from fives, we’ve been looking for 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 minutes. And because there are sixty minutes in an hour, if we count on from 2:30 to 3:00, thats 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 minutes. So we have thirty minutes left to find Odd Todd. So we better hustle.” I say, as the elevator doors ping open at the bottom.

We race out off the building, and I lead the way to the familiarly spooky tunnel that Rivka and Baby Genius always appear in. When we get there, I steel my nerves and walk in, Oona following nervously on my heels.
“I don’t like it in here.” She whispers.
“No one does.” I respond.
There’s a clattering bang behind us and we whip around, Oona clutching her lab coat, me with a gadget in hand. Nothing. We turn back around. Oona screams, and I flinch. Of course, who should be there but Rivka and Baby Genius. I swallow once or twice before stowing my gadget and talking.
“Good afternoon Your Excellency.” I say. “We believe that Odd Todd may have given you a clue for us? On his location.”
“He did.” Rivka says, handing me a folded bit of paper.
“Thank you, Your Excellency.” I stammer.
“You’re welcome. You can go now.”
We scamper out of there as fast as our legs can carry us.

In the bright sunshine of the park we unfold the paper and look at it. It has three words on it.
‘Apartment. Main Street.’
Oona groans. “Main Street is HUGE! It’ll take forever to find him!”
“Maybe not.” I sigh because I know exactly where he is. “Let’s think about this logically. If Odd Todd were to live anywhere, which number would he be most likely to be living at?”
“Uhhhmmm… an odd one?”
“Good, getting closer…” I prompt.
“Would he… would he be at number 43 Main Street?” She guesses.
“Knowing Odd Todd, probably.” I say, resigned to my fate. “Come on.

We make it to the apartment block at number 43. Theres a doorman waiting for us. I don’t even waste time with an intro.
“Clue. Now.” I say, fed up. The doorman laughs and hands me another bit of paper. I unfold it. On it is written,
‘Up.’
“What the hell?” I say, confused.
“Maybe he means the penthouse?” Oona guesses.
“Maybe… but I think thats what he wants us to think, but the town is upside down so maybe…. The lowest floor?” I guess.
“We’ll try both.” Oona says. “Penthouse first.”
We check the penthouse but only end up disturbing an old man in a dressing gown and fluffy bunny slippers. We apologise hurriedly and make our way to the bottom floor. We start to check all of the apartments and get lucky on our third try.
“Time check?” Oona asks me, after she peeks through the peephole to see Odd Todd just lounging on a couch.
“Ahh.. it’s 2:45 so we have 5, 10, 15 minutes left. Lets go.” I say.
We barge into that room shouting,
“Odd Squad! Odd Squad! Stop right there Odd Todd!!”
Todd raises himself up on one elbow to greet us. 
“Hello Odd Squad! How lovely to see you!”
“Quit the small talk, Odd Todd.” I snarl ‘villain villain villain villain’ I remind myself. “Flip the town back now or face the consequences!”
“What consequences?” He asks. Well damn. I didn’t think of that.
“You don’t wanna know.” I say, with all the confidence I can muster.
“There are none, are there?” Odd Todd says. I curse internally. Im a terrible liar and Todd knows it.
“Yes there are.” Oona pipes up. “Clearly you’ve never seen Ms. O mad.”
“I think I have.” Odd Todd says.
“Not as mad as I have.” Oona says, a cool note of danger coming into her voice. I take a step backwards, reaching into my coat pocket for a gadget while Todd and Oona stare each other down. Oona narrows her eyes. I can feel Todds' confidence waver. I slowly draw out my handcuffinator. Oona takes a silent, menacing step forward, getting right in Odd Todds' face. Odd Todd swallows, takes a breath and then snaps.

“Fine! You win!” He growls, and pulls out a small gadget and presses the only button on it. The town rotates back to its normal state. I stow my handcuffinator and blow out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“I assume I’m free to go? Now that i’ve fixed it?” Todd asks. Me and Oona glance at each other. We’re a bit fuzzy on that part and honestly it was a lot of luck that he actually did what we asked, after all, we are just scientists.
“Uhhh… you’re not gonna wait until we call Ms. O, are you?” I say.
“No, thats not happening.” He smiles. “Well, I’ll be off then. Oh, and Oscar?”
“Yes…?”
“Congratulations.” He disappears with a click of his fingers.

We make our way back to HQ. Ms. O summons us to her office when we arrive back.
“So, how’d you find him?” She asks us. I swallow.
“Well I kinda knew where his office was, since I’ve been…” I search for the right word. “Involved with him before. So we went there and then followed the clues. The hardest part was finding the starting point. After that it was pretty easy.”
“But he got away?”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “We tried to catch him but he was super fast.”
‘Well, well done you two. Im incredibly proud of you. Oscar, you can go back to the lab, I’d like a word with Oona.”

I nod and make my way downstairs to the lab. Oona comes in several minutes later, fixing her hair.
“Everything alright with Ms. O?” I ask.
“What? Yeah, everything’s fine.” She says. I get the feeling I’m not the only one hiding something in this lab. They really do remind me of me and Todd.
“You’re not going to leave me again are you?” I laugh.
“Oh no, definitely not.” Oona says, a vaguely horrified look coming over her face.

Chapter 16: Chapter sixteen: tears

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

When I got home and crashed on the couch, all I wanted was sleep. But when your best friend is a villain and you work for Odd Squad that doesn’t happen all too easily. Todd calls me up almost the second I get home.
“What?” I say picking up the phone, tired to the bone.
“Okay, grumpy much?” Todd laughs. “Wanna come over?”
“I want to sleep.” I groan. “Go away.”
“I'm coming over.”
“I'm locking the door.”
“I’ll use the tubes.”
“NO!”
“I’m coming over, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.”
“f*ck you and the horse you rode in on.”
“See you in five.” Todd hangs up and I groan into a pillow.

Todd bounds into my living room five minutes later on the dot, grinning like an idiot. I lift my head from the pillow I’ve buried it in to acknowledge him momentarily before sinking further down in the armchair, massaging my temples. I’ve got a killer headache and no motivation to get myself some bloody Panadol. “Oh holy god, you’re really not doing so good are you?” Todd laughs.
“f*ck offff.” I groan.
“Nah. D’you need anything?”
“You’re so f*cking lucky I tolerate you. Panadol. Cupboard above the fridge. Back left.”
“You’re lucky I tolerate your moods mate.” Todd’s voice comes from the kitchen, half a laugh, half something else indecipherable. “Bad week?”
I chuckle weakly. “You’ve got no idea.”
“Well if you told me…” Todd says, coming back into the longe room. There’s the quiet sound of a glass being placed on the coffee table. Im quiet for a long moment, deciding within myself. To tell or not to tell? It’s a beat too long.
“Never mind. Forget I said anything.” Todd says, ruefully.
I lift my head out of my pillow. “Sorry. I do- it’s probably harmless to tell you. Wasn’t even much villain related sh*t.”
“No you don’t have to its-“
“I’d like to. You’re my friend. What kind of sh*t friend would I be if I didn’t tell you what went on in my life and, I thought we agreed to fix this mess, hmm?”
“We did. Take the panadol though.”
I gulp down the tablets and glass of water sitting on the coffee table and settle more comfortably into my armchair.

“So. Terrible week?” Todd prompts.
“Oh you have no idea. First, I had to work today and its SATURDAY for gods sake. And then literally yesterday, I kid you not, the Hydraclops rose. Like I knew it was coming but-“ I stop at the look on Todds face because I said ‘Hydraclops’ and he went as white as a sheet.
“Todd? What’s wrong?”
“I- no it’s fine.”
“No you look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s wrong?”
“I said it’s fine. I just don’t like big scary sea monsters.”
“Todd. That's not all there is. If you don’t want to tell me you can just say so but I care a lot about you. You’re my best friend and if you’re not okay, I want to help.”
“Its fine. its just really heavy."
"i'm here for you."
He takes a deep, stabilising breath. "D'you remember that day a few weeks ago, and- I showed up at your house soaking wet and I said the other villains-they…“ he stutters to a stop.
“Yeah I remember. What happened?”
“They- they wanted to know why I hadn’t been causing oddness and they- wanted to make me do something odd“ he sniffles and wipes his arm across his nose. I get up from my arm chair to go sit next to him. He collapses into my chest and takes a shakey breath. “They can be intimidating when they- when they want to. And they-they’re all adults and I-i’m just a kid and t-they…”
“It’s okay. Its alright. It’s okay.” I say, wrapping my arms around him. “I got you.”

He sniffs and wraps him arms around me. He keeps going, stuttering hard, tears spilling down his cheeks. “Anyway- I d-didn’t want to tell them anything so I- just didn’t answer their questions o-or do anything odd. A-and I thought like, they- they would go away if I just i-ignored them because th-thats what everyone tells you, a-and then they didn't and I- really wish I had t-told them straight up wh-why I wasn’t causing oddness because- because then they tried to c-convince me. And I really wanted to- not tell them a-anything because I- I was s-so dumb, but I r-really wanted to I-impress y-you because w-we we’re good friends and I w-wanted you to think of me as m-more than j-just a villain. So I d-didnt tell them anything or-or do anything so they tried to-to make me.”
“Oh god…” I say. Todd keeps talking.

“A-and when their u-usual methods didn’t work they r-ramped it up. They- well… a few of them have b-been working on- on a monster to help them and they- tried to test it o-on me.”
He hugs me tighter, breathing hard.
“It’s alright. It’s okay. It's okay. Its okay.” I murmur, rubbing my hand up and down his spine.
“And I- well it was a robot version of the H-hydra-hydraclops and I- I could have- I could’ve d-died. I- I might have been- d-drowned o-or I-it might have ripped me apart or eaten me th-the possibilities are en-endless, or at least thats what the other vi-villains said and I-" He breaks down into sobs. I keep holding him, rubbing my hand up and down his back.
“I- never want th-that to happen again.” He says, finally.
“It won’t.” I say. “It won’t. I won’t let it. You’re okay. You’re safe. It won’t happen again.”
“You-you’re sure?”
“Positive. It’s gonna be okay.”
“Don’t let go?” He asks.
“I’ve got you. I’m here for as long as you need me.”
“You’re a really good friend Oscar.”
“...You too Todd.”

Chapter 17: Chapter seventeen: Music

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

I take Todd home the next day, not quite trusting him to be fully okay, and it comes as no surprise to me that he does not actually live in the small apartment on the first floor of 43rd Main Street that we found him in, but rather in the penthouse.

“Called it.” I say, when he unlocks the door. He laughs and mockingly bows me inside.
“Whoa.” I breathe. I’m not going to lie, Todd’s apartment is pretty sweet.
“D’you like it?” Todd says, rubbing his arm nervously.
“Wow. It’s- really nice. Is that a guitar?” I say, immediately distracted by the very fancy guitar propped up by a bookshelf.

“Ah it’s not just a guitar. That is a Gretsch White Penguin from 1956. Its one of the originals, so its super rare because when they first came out they weren’t that popular compared to a lot of Gretsch’s other solid body models, but it got a renaissance in the 80’s. It was my dad’s. He was really into that kind of stuff.”
“Yeah?” I say, intrigued.
“Yeah. We actually have barely any surviving 70’s guitars because back then it was a thing to just smash your guitar at the end of a show. So if they have guitars from that time at like, hard rock cafes and stuff they are worth a sh*t ton of money, and they’re often signed by the artist who played them.”
I raise my eyebrows. “No, really?”
“Yeah. First happened way back in 1964, by the guitarist of “The Who”, but as I said, widely popular among rockstars in the 70s and a bit of the 80’s and 90’s too but nowadays it’s kinda controversial and seen as unnecessary. Phoebe Bridgers actually did it a few years ago and was heavily criticised.”
“I do seem to remember that incident.” I say.
“Do you… wanna hear me play it?” He asks, rubbing his arm.
“Uhhh, yeah sure.” I say, laughing. “Fair warning though, I have no musical talent so if you want a rating it’ll probably be ‘good’”
Todd chuckles and picks up the guitar. I sit on a stool as he tunes it.

“Ready?” He asks, running one thumb over the top of the fretboard.
I nod, and he swallows and then starts playing.
Now I’m no musical expert, never really done much in the way of making music except singing various musical songs at the top of my voice, by myself in my bedroom, But Todd was pretty good. Played the guitar with a practised ease, a light, boppy tune that made me want to dance. He ends with a dramatic flourish that totally made me think he WAS going to smash the guitar, and a small bow. I applaud him. “That was good. That was really good.” I say.

“Was it? Or are you just lying to make me feel better?” He asks, and I can see the tiniest hint of a proud blush on his cheeks.
“Shut up, just take the complement!” I laugh, chucking an apple at him from the bench behind me. He turns to protect the guitar and grunts as the apple hits his back.
“How could you drop that?” I laugh.
“You threw it!” He shouts back at me, taking the guitar off and putting it down.
“I did no such thing.” I say, pretending to be scandalised. “How dare you accuse me of- OW!” I cry as the apple hits my stomach.
“Of something you totally did do? Oh yes how absolutely dare I.” Todd says, raising his eyebrows at me.
I tut at him. “How could you? I guess im going to have to rat you out to security.”
“And rat yourself out too?”
“Touché.” I mutter.
“Ha!” Todd shouts. “So I win? You threw that apple?”
“I never said that!”I cry, putting my hands on hips and opening my mouth in mock offence.
Todd narrows his eyes. “Why won’t you admit you’ve lost?” He asks, taking a step towards me.
“Because Odd Squad doesn’t lose to villains.” I smirk, mirroring his pose.

I’ve fallen for his trap though, because no sooner have I leant toward him than I am hit in the face with a pillow. Pretty hard too. I open my mouth in actual outrage this time and scramble across the room to grab a pillow of my own and launch a counter attack, whacking Todd across the back of the head. Immediately a fully fledged pillow war begins. Shots are fired across the room. Ive made my base behind the couch and Todd has dived behind the bench I was previously sitting at. The battle is tough and fierce and I cop at least five pillows to the face before landing a shot directly on his chest, knocking him backwards. Both of us are giggling like little seven year old girls as pillows fly across the room. Which mightn’t be the best description as I work with a seven year old girl on a daily basis and I’ve never seen Orchid giggling in all my life. It’s so much fun and one of the better ways to wind down after the week. I creep out of the safety of my couch to launch a surprise attack but one of Todds pillows hits me hard in the chest, knocking me backwards, and its quickly followed by a second which hits me square in the face and sends me tumbling backwards into the couch. Todd springs out from behind his bench and is leaning over me before I’ve even had time to catch my breath.
“I win.” He grins, pinning my arms. I feel my face go red as the butterflies return in a swarm.
“No, you don’t!” I say, struggling.
“I have you pinned. I win. And odd squad lost to a villain." he says, in a sing song voice. "So either, I’m spectacular, or you are worse than the average agent.”
“To save my ego can we go with the ‘you’re spectacular’ option?”
“So you agree that a villain, and a spectacular one at that, won?” He asks.

“Fine, yes just get off before you break my arms.” I grunt. He relents his hold and flops down next to me. I scoot away just the bearest bit, fighting down the blush. Ive play-fought with Otto and (very occasionally) Otis before and nine times out of ten they win so being pinned isn’t new for me so why am I blushing? I glance over at Todd when I think the blush has subsided. At least, my cheeks don’t feel like they’re on fire. He’s staring at the ceiling, out of breath.
“You are a very good pillow fighter.” I say, trying to act as normal as possible.
“You’re a good opponent.” He says, not taking his eyes off the ceiling.
I hum my agreement. I’m suddenly very tired. I shut my eyes. Its a very good day.

Chapter 18: Chapter eighteen: Villains and Villainesses

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

It’s raining the next time I see Todd in person, about two weeks later. I've gotten used to him just, appearing in my house now, so I’m not at all shocked when the tubes swoosh and Todd yells, 
“Hi Oscar!”

By way of greeting I just yell back ”Kitchen!”
“I swear to god if you’re fixing a gadget in there…!” He says, and I hear the thud of his boots in the hall and his tread coming down the corridor.
“Im not!” I say, flipping a pancake.
“Good.” He says, coming into the kitchen “Ooh pancakes! Can I have one?”
“I don’t know, can you?” I say, tossing a spoon at him. He ducks, and the spoon clatters to the floor.
“Oi.” He says. “By the way, why is your lounge room the disaster area now?”
“Thats a cleaning space in progress, I just got hungry.”
Todd raises his eyebrows at me in that annoying, ‘I know your hiding something’ way that he has and I’d throw my multipurpose-but-is-currently-being-used-to-flip-pancakes flipper at him, but I’m busy using it to lever the pancakes out of the frypan and onto the plate I’ve put the cooked ones on.

“What?” I say, indignantly. “I am cleaning it I just got hungry!”
“So you… spontaneously made pancakes?”
“Yes?” I say. “Do you have a problem with that?”
“I- most normal people would settle for like a- I don’t know a bowl of yoghurt or an apple or something. You just… you’re the strangest person I’ve ever met.”
“Thanking you kindly.”
“…okay. Uhhh… I actually came here for a reason and now I’ve lost it.” He says. “Hold on… I…I… thats it! Did you want to go hiking with my scout group tomorrow? It’s a night hike, it’ll be really fun, and we can bring our friends! And no one from work will be there so we could just… have fun?” He asks.

“You do scouts?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.
“Oh, yeah, it’s really cool! They all think I’m a redhead though, I think if they saw this they’d be a little suspicious.” He says, running one hand through his hair. He makes a very valid point. I’d recognise that haircut from a hundred meters away.
“Yeah, sure why not? I’ll come. Oh, could you…” I say, gesturing with my free hand to the plate and the oven, pouring more batter into my frypan with the other. Todd nods and moves around behind me silently, picking up the pancakes with one hand and turning on and opening the oven with the other. ‘God this is nice. I should invent a gadget to freeze time.’ I think, smiling to myself.
“Whatcha smiling about?” Todd asks.
“Nothing. Myself. Im hilarious.” I say.

~

I meet Todd's scout group the following night at six and introduce myself to the leader, who calls herself Baloo. Moments later, Todd, in a green shouldered but otherwise navy blue scout shirt and a rather convincing redhead wig bounds up to me and grins.
“See! What’d I tell you, we don’t bite!” He says.
“Hey Baloo.” He adds as an afterthought. “Where’s Kaa?”
“Kaa’s coming, they just got held up at home.” Baloo says. “We’re waiting for them, and then we’ll head out. In the meantime, why don’t you introduce Oscar to the other Scouts?”
Todd gives her a one fingered salute and drags me by the sleeve over to the other scouts. It’s a small group, only about ten scouts and three other kids. The scouts introduce themselves rapid-fire. I just wave shyly, feeling the information leaking out of my brain.

When Kaa turns up we head out to walk the Beltline trail, or part of it at least. I travel towards the back of the pack, talking to the other kids that’ve been dragged into this hike by their friends. Todd alternates between talking loud and fast with the other scouts, and walking beside me in welcoming silence, gazing at the scenery. It’s beautiful, really. It’s not so much a traditional hike as a really long walk, but it’s still really nice. I breathe in and out, stretch, and absentmindedly let my hand find Todds. Our fingers interlock and I smile, sneaking a sidelong glance at Todd, who’s got his head tipped back, craning his neck to stare at the stars. I keep my gaze mostly straightforward though, because someones gotta stop him from falling over and keep him walking, and if I don’t, who will? Answer, pretty much no one. Todd tugs my sleeve and I look over my shoulder.

“Look.” He whispers, pointing upwards. I crane my neck and squint upwards, following his finger.
“What am I looking at?” I ask, not quite sure what im supposed to be seeing.
“There, that moving one. It’s a satellite.”
I adjust my glasses and squint, tilting my head to the left. “Oh I see it!” I say, as I finally spot the slow moving light. I shoot him a grin over my shoulder and he mirrors it.
“Come on boys, you’re lagging behind!” Kaa calls. I roll my eyes and drag Todd forward by the hand. He reluctantly drags his feet onward, (“but satellite?!!”), and I laugh.
“Come on.” I say. “We don’t want to get left behind.” He sighs, but moves faster than not at all.

We end up walking the entirety of the Beltline trail and pausing at the end to give our poor poor feet a break. Everyone flops down, tired, and Baloo unzips her pack, bringing out boxes of shapes and bags of trail mix. I flop over onto Todds legs and just kind of accept the shapes he gives me soundlessly, staring at the moon. I yawn and smile up at the stars. It’s nice being normal. Really nice. And then there’s a bang. It’s loud, like really loud. I’m immediately bolt upright and alert. Todds gone full on meerkat mode.

“Villains? That was too loud and and way too sudden to be anything else.” I whisper.
“Maybe. It sounded like it.” He whispers back.
There’s another louder bang, a whispered curse, and shushing noises. The whole group is alert now, and Baloo and Kaa have shuffled us all into a corner away from the noises. I've got one hand on a gadget and the other firmly gripping Todds hand. The kid behind us starts to hyperventilate and his friend desperately tries to calm him down. Just as I’m thinking that we all overreacted and its all safe, there’s the loudest bang yet, and about five or six villains jump out. The kid behind us as well as about three others scream. I just groan. My god some days I hate my job. I reach behind my back, pull out my lab coat and throw it on. These villains need to know they picked the wrong group to tussle with.

“Excuse me, offical odd squad business, dangerous sleep deprived scientist coming through!” I say, stepping around Baloo and stretching.
“Alright, who am I shooting first?” I ask, lazily pointing my gadget. I am SO not in the mood for this.
“Put the gadget down and no one gets hurt, lab boy.” Shape Shifter growls.
“Not. a. Chance. Todays oddness is over.” I say, levelling the gadget with her torso. She laughs, high and cold. I breathe heavily. 
“Alright. You asked for it, you’ve seen what I can do. Care to back down?”
“How about you back down. Don’t make me hurt your friends.”
I suck in a breath and flinch. Shape Shifter notices.
“Oh. That struck a nerve. Didn’t it?”
“No.” I say, but my voice quavers.
“You are a terrible liar.” She says. I gasp.
“No I’m not!” I say, indignantly.
“You really are though!” Kaa calls.
I shoot a shocked and disgusted look over my shoulder.
“Kaa, not helping!” I say. I shake my head and turn my focus back to Shape Shifter.
“Anyway, I’m not the terrible liar is. I don’t know who is, but it’s not me. Ah the point is, I- you’re coming with me Shape Shifter. And all you other villains too!”

“No, you’re coming with us.” She taunts.
“Why would I do that?” I start to say, but I’m cut off by a muffled shout. I whip around to see Todd caught in the arms of Noisemaker, shaking his head frantically. ‘How the f*ck is he the sneaky one?’ I think. A hysterical bubble of laughter works its way out of my mouth, and then something hits me on the back of the head and I pass out. Again. ‘f*ck.’

Chapter 19: Chapter nineteen: Hopeless

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

I wake up in a cold room, shivering. My head THROBS. It’s almost totally dark and totally silent. It’s terrifying, and I cannot handle the silence, the terror, the waiting. It wasn’t supposed to happen again. I thought it wouldn’t happen again. Trapped again. I think there’s no one else around, until there’s a quiet groan from my left.
“Todd? Are you there?” I whisper.
“Yeah. Are you okay?” He whispers back.
“Yeah. I think. My head hurts though. Where are we?” I ask.
“Ughhh… I’m not sure. I don’t recognise this place. Doesn’t feel familiar.”
“What now-“
“Shhh… footsteps.” He silences me. Nothing happens for the next few moments, but we hear quiet steps as if through a wall. They pause. I don’t think either of us are breathing. I wish I could move my hands but I’m tied the chair. I assume Todd is as well. I can’t take the silence. The footsteps walk away and I breathe out, relieved.
“Are you okay?” I breathe.
“Yeah. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Mmmhhhmm. I’m good.” I say, trying to convince myself just as much as him. In reality I’m scared completely sh*tless. I do not want to be here at all. The room’s so quiet I can hear our breathing, frightened heavy exhales, just out of tandem. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to just, calm down. After a while, Todd speaks up again.

“Oscar?”
“Yeah?”
“Im sorry. For this. I didn’t know about it but I just… this is sh*t. Im sorry.”
“It’s not your fault dude. It’s the villains. Not you.”
“Yeah but like, on behalf of the villains, im sorry. I know they aunt but I am because I dont know what they want but a villain should never stoop this low. And I know thats super hypocritical because I did this to you but I am really really sorry.”
“Hey. Its alright. That was nothing. Its fine. Im fine. And from now on, you aren’t allowed to associate with them. You are no longer allowed to call yourself ‘one of the villains.’ Okay?”
“But I-“
“No arguments. Okay?”
“Okay. Wait, shh. They’re coming back.”
This time there’s more than one pair of footsteps. Joined with the quite tread of the first pair is a loud distinctive ‘clomp clomp clomp’ of heavy boots. I swallow. The steps stop outside the door. Todd shoots me a terrified look.

~

The door swings shut. I breathe out a shaky breath and lean my head back, wincing. My nose is bleeding and I’m fairly sure I have a bruise forming on on my right cheek. I glance over to my left, lock eyes with Todd, who looks about as bad as I feel, and moments later pass out.

~
When I’m fully conscious, which takes a while, I mentally piece together what happened. When Tiny Dancer, Shape Shifter and Noisemaker, who neither of us even heard like actually how the f*ck, walked into the room and started spewing this theory about how Todd was “conspiring with odd squad to rat them out and foil their carefully laid plans,” we both kind of looked at each other like ‘are they serious?’ But neither of us said anything. Eventually, Shape Shifter got very insistent, demanding that we tell her the “nature of this relationship and how long it’s been going on!” And when neither of us said anything she got aggressive, fast, punching Todd in the ribs and claiming that unless we talked the next punch would break something. So I did what any person would do in that situation and pretty much spilled the fact that there was nothing shady going on and they were stupid of ever thinking so, and didn’t they know that odd squad usually found their plans out without the help of a spy?, and got a blow to the jaw for my trouble. After that the villains thin guise of patience that their coiled rage had been hiding behind dissolved, and they started demanding answers, which we kept answering at first with the truth, then with cries of “We’re not f*cking working together, OKAY?”, then with silence. When they realised that we weren’t going to say anything else they let us be, with dire promises that they’d be back and expecting proper answers tomorrow, leaving us alone, bruised and battered in the room.

~

Neither of us has any idea how long we’ve been here, or even what the time is. There aren’t any windows. All I know is ive started measuring the time in the long, silent stretches, the little amounts of sleep, and the brief but painful visits from the villains. Neither of us talks much, but to take stock of our injuries and assure each other that we’ll be fine. and the only glimmer of good news is the bread and water we get occasionally. The villains have graduated from demanding information to trying to convince us to spy for them. We don’t respond anymore.

~

The villains have graduated from just senselessly hitting us whenever they fail to get an answer to more… shall we say, strategic ways of trying to get us to join them. It might be working.

~

I am his achilles heel and he is mine. They are willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want.

~

We dont talk anymore. It’s just tiring, and we need all our wits about us. My nose and glasses are broken now. In a way it’s good. Cause now I can only hear what they do, instead of seeing it.

~

Theres no escape, even in sleep. I wake, screaming, from nightmares where the villains force one or the other of us to watch as they hurt the other person. And in either case I’d do anything to stop the pain they cause. I’ve given up hope that Odd squad will rescue us.

Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty: Rescuers

Chapter Text

JANUARY

After about maybe three weeks, give or take a few days, we’re both ready to crack and do whatever they want us to do, just to stop the pain. So when both me and Todd are both awake and fully functioning enough to hold a conversation, which is less common than it should be, I bring up what ive been thinking about.

“Todd?” I say, hoarsely. We haven’t been doing much in the way of vocal activity except screaming.
“Yeah?” He gets out with difficulty. We think he might’ve broken a rib.
“We gotta get the f*ck outta here, and I don’t think Odd Squad is coming.”
“Mmm”
“I think… we should just do what they want.”
“What part of ‘you aren’t a villain’ did you forget” he gets out, coughing every other word or so.
“So we fake it.”
“They’ll know.”
“We have to try. I- I cant let them hurt you again. It has to work.”
“Are you sure?”
“Dont worry, I have a plan.”
“Okay... I trust you.”

~

The door swings open and three coloured blobs walk in. I say blobs because well, no glasses. I’ve been going off voices for the past two weeks-ish. So almost immediately as the blobs walk in and I hear the trademark,
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” I know it's Symmetric Al who will be doing all the talking.
“Alright, you boys know the drill.” He says. I do. I'm not even going to let them TOUCH either of us.
“Wait!” I say. “We’ll help.”
“You will?” Another voice (that I identify as Jamie Jam) says.
“We will.” I say, sitting as straight as I can in my chair and looking the orange blob which I think might be Martie Marmalade as dead as I can in the eyes.
“Shocker. What bought about the change, boys?” Al asks.
“I have a broken nose, arm, and fingers, probably a black eye too, and literal knife scars all over my arms and my back as well, Todd has two broken ribs a broken leg and the guys face is covered in blood. We are fed up, hungry, sleep deprived, and Odd Squad clearly doesn’t care about us. We will join you. Just get us out of here.” I say, pouring all of the pain and tears and raw bloody DESPERATION into my voice. I’d cross my arms over my chest but my arms are tied down.
The villains all huddle in the corner away from us. After a minute or two they come back to us.
“We’ll bring Shape Shifter in, and then, if you’re legit, we’ll let you go.” Al says.
“Fine.” I say.
The villains leave, letting the door slam shut behind them.

“Uhhh, Todd. Why are they bringing Shape Shifter in? Is she like, the head honcho?” I ask, because that was an unexpected bump in the road of my plan.
“Yes but also… she uhhh… well she can shape-shift… and well that means that she can be a lie detector…” He croaks out.
“sh*t.”
“Uhh, yeah my bad, i should have told you that.”
We lapse into tense silence, waiting, terrified.

Several moments later I hear a faint noise.
“D’you hear that?” I whisper.
Todd nods.
It’s a rhythmic tapping, on loop, coming from directly above us. We both strain our ears to better hear it.

…- - -… ..- - .. / …- - - … .. - - .. / …- - -… .. - - ..

I recognise it as repeating morse code for ‘SOS?’ and look around for something I can use to make a message back. There’s a scientist (probably, we all know it,) up there! Help at last! Eventually I settle on just tapping out the message as loudly as I dare with my foot.

- - - … - - - / … -.-. .. . -. - .. … - ..- -..

We wait for the return message in silence. Eventually the tapping comes again.

- - - - - - -. .- / .. / …. .- …- . / -… .- -.-. -.- ..- .- -.

I sigh with relief and quickly tap out a message.

.- .-.. .-.. / -.-. .-.. . .- .-. / …. ..- .-. .-. -.- -

Oona replies quickly with,

… .. - / - .. - -. …. -/ -… .- -.-. -.-/ … - - - - - - -.

We hear the slightly muffled sound of crawling heading away from us, and Todd looks over at me in what I can only assume is confusion.
“Odd squad’s come to rescue us." I whisper to him. He nods. Moments later there’s some more muffled crawling sounds, and a light sawing sound. I look up to see a light blue dot making its way around in a square on the ceiling, obviously creating a hole for our rescuers to get through. When the square is complete it drops maybe a foot or two before hurriedly being caught in a bubble of green light and gently lowered to the ground by a white blob that I can only assume is a harassed, stressed, and terrified looking Oona. I grin up at her, which given how terrible I feel, might be a bad idea. Several other coloured blobs crowd around the hole, one purple and four blue. The blobs make their way to the ground and I squint at the white blob.

“Hey Oona! Ms. O! Agents. Todd, who are the agents?” I say, out of the corner of my mouth
“Uhh… it’s Scribbles and her partner, and then, two others I've never seen before.” He chokes out.
“Be nice, they’re rescuing us.” I say.
“We’re here to rescue you, not him.” Ms. O says. I sigh.
“Ms. O, respectfully, you are rescuing him. Have you seen my face? Have you seen his? Is it bad?” I ask Oona. “I can’t see sh*t without my glasses.”
“Both of you look like you might’ve been run over by a dump truck. Twice.” She clarifies.
“Okay so we look sh*t. Ms. O I promise I will explain everything when we get back to HQ but you need to get us both out of here in the next…” I look desperately over at Todd.
“We have about three minutes, give or take thirty seconds.” He sighs.
“So we need to go now, or trust me, everyone in this room is going to be soooo f*cked.” I say, slightly desperately.
“Oona, you know him best, is he on our side?” Ms. O asks.
“I trust him.”
“Alright.” Ms. O says. “Olympia, Otis, get those boys free, Oona, get us out of here, Otto, Olive, block the door, that should buy us some time.”

The agents spring into action and moments later my arms are free. I hiss in a grunt as my left arm comes free, definitely broken, and double over, clutching it, but I’m outta my chair the second my legs are free and stumbling over to Todd. “Wait!” I say to the blue blob untying him. “You gotta support him, we think he might have a broken leg and he almost 100% has a broken rib, maybe two.”
“Got it.” Says the blue blob, who I deduce to be Otis. “Yo, Olympia! Little help?”
“You got it partner!” She calls, and walks over. Together they get Todd more or less standing, and Oona calls us over to a glowing pink blob on the wall.
“Potal-inator.” She explains. I give her a tight lipped smile before stepping into the portal, out of that hellish room into what I can only assume is the Odd Squad medical room and being met by who I assume is Dr. O. I'm proved right when she introduces herself, sits me down on a chair and hands me a pair of glasses, which I clumsily place on my face. I blink as the world comes back into focus, and the others come through the portal, Otis and Olympia supporting Todd, who dose indeed look very not good, a very unhappy looking Ms. O and Olive, (I am so sorry) a flustered looking Otto, and Oona, who shuts the portal behind her. Todd collapses onto a chair beside me, leans his head on my right shoulder, and is asleep in all of two seconds.
To defend his honour, so was I.

Chapter 21: Chapter twenty one: Friendly interrogation

Chapter Text

JANUARY

I wake up on my back on a hard hospital bed to the study 'beep beep' of the monitors around the head of the bed, glasses off, I.V. drip in my right arm, cast on my left arm, feeling slightly less like i’ve been steamrollered. I raise my head slowly and squint around, eventually spotting what looks like a bedside table to my right. I feel around on it for my glasses, and when I’ve successfully selected them, (accidentally knocking a cup (thank god it was plastic) to the floor in the process), I can properly take in my surroundings. It would appear that two hospital beds have been set up in one of the interrogation rooms of Odd Squad HQ, although there is one slight difference to my bed and Todds. He’s been handcuffed to his bed. Harsh, but fair. They don’t trust him nearly as much as I do. In fact, they don’t trust him, period. I slump back onto my pillow and stare at the ceiling.

~

“Oscar?” Todd whispers from across the room, about half an hour later.
“Yes?” I whisper back, scooting back up into a sitting position and looking over at him. Todds turned his head towards me and smiles when I sit up.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“You alright mate?” He asks, attempting to sit up but flopping back down when his ribs and the handcuffs restrain him.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I say. “You all good?”
“Stiff, sore, mentally I’ll never be the same, pissed off at this,” he says, indicating his handcuffed wrist, “but otherwise, yeah I’m good. This room looks familiar.”
“Yeah, interrogation room, just temporarily converted.” I explain, nodding to the security logo on the door and the height chart for lineups on the wall. Todd makes a noise of assent and we lapse into silence.

“Hey?” Todd says, a while later.
“Mmm?” I answer.
“I just want to say I’m sorry. I know you said I’m not allowed to call myself a villain anymore.”
“You aren’t.”
“But that was so against the code of conduct for villains. I- it was wrong. And we both know they aren’t going to apologise so, I thought I’d do that.”
“You don’t have to. They did as much to you as they did me.” I say.
“I know. You okay?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Yeah. I’ll be okay.”
“What now?” I ask, tipping my head back to stare at the ceiling again.
“No idea. We’re going to have to tell Oprah what we’ve done.”
“Ms. O.” I correct. “Just for today.”
“… fine.”
We lapse into silence again.

~

About an hour later, the door slides open and Dr. O, plus a full on security entourage, plus Ms. O, steps into the room.
“Oscar. Odd Todd.” Dr. O adresses us, coldly. I wince at her tone.
“Dr. O.” I say, brightly smiling at her.
“How are you boys doing?” She asks. We tell her that we’re a bit stiff and pained, but other than that we seem to be okay. She give us both some pain killers and then steps out. Ms. O pulls up a chair and glares at us each in turn. My smile falters. “Explain.” She barks. I blow out a long breath, glance over at Todd, whose lips are firmly clamped together, but who nods slowly. I look shakily at Ms. O, sit as straight as I can, and begin to explain. Slowly, haltingly at first, then more confidently as I gain momentum. Ms. O doesn’t interrupt, save to clear up a few details. I tell her almost everything, omitting the kiss, not because it’s any worse than anything else, but because I don’t want to tell anyone that particular detail. I get up to our walk on the Beltline Trail before I stutter to a halt.
“And then?” Ms. O prompts.
“Ah- well-“ I stutter.
“And then we were kidnapped and held hostage by the villains for weeks on end, tortured mercilessly while the other was forced to watch and fed just enough to keep from starving. All because they thought I might be spying on them for Odd Squad, and then because they wanted us to spy on Odd Squad for them.” Todd says, cold, detached, matter-of-fact.
“And did you agree to?”
“To an extent, yes. They were going to get Shape Shifter to check if we were 'for real' when you guys showed up. Which we weren’t, for the record.” I say.
“I see.” Says Ms. O. She sits in silence for a while. “So to summarise, Oscar, you went to the guy who kidnapped you to help get Oona back, which I did know, and then when you were having a panic attack, you went to the same guy for help, and slowly and reluctantly became friends, and now though a series of strange events, you don’t see him as a villain anymore?”
“Yes. Especially because the Todd that I know would never do this to anyone.” I say, gesturing to my body and the numerous wounds upon it.
“I see.” She says. “Wait here boys.”
She leaves the room, and me and Todd exhale in sync.

~

When Ms. O comes back, she’s got Oona, Otis, and Olive in tow. She makes me retell the entire story, and Todd jumps in at some points to correct some bits that I forget or get a bit wrong. Throughout the story Oona’s face remains curious and sad, Otis is wearing a cold and calculating look, but also looks pensive, and Olive's scowl deepens with every word Todd says. I’m going to have to apologise to a whole hell of a lot of people after this, starting with Olive. When I’ve finished there’s several minutes of silence so tense you could cut it with a knife. I swallow once or twice. Eventually Ms. O talks.
“Well?” She asks.
“As much as I hate to say it, Oscars not lying. He scratches his jawbone when he is. Honestly I’m shocked we didn’t notice that something was going on beforehand. And I’ve never seen Odd Todd look so… vulnerable before. I believe that they’re both telling the truth.” Olive says
“Otis?” Ms. O asks.
“Odd Todd’s changed. For the better.” He snaps, not unkindly.
“Oona?” Ms. O prompts.
“They’re close friends, very close. And the entire situation screams peak Oscar behaviour. Oscars not lying.” She explains.
Me and Todd exchange relieved looks that say several things, the chief ones being ‘thank f*ck thats over.’ and ‘d’you think we’re in the clear now?’

Ms. O is quiet for several long, painful moments. Eventually she speaks.
“Well boys this is an… unusual event, certainly. I think in light of what’s happened and the evidence ive received, the best cause of action is to place both of you on probation for a month. Oscar, this means you won’t be allowed into HQ, your access to the tubes will be revoked and I’m afraid I’m going to have to temporarily take your badge. You’ll be placed under round the clock security. Act the end of the month, if you kept up to scratch and haven’t done anything villainous, you’ll be reinstated as lab director.”
I sigh, but it’s better than I could literally ever have hoped for so Im not really that upset.
“Odd Todd, you will also have round the clock security to make sure you don’t commit any villainous deeds, and your access to the tubes will also be revoked. Honestly I’m not sure why it wasn’t in the first place. Now, I would prefer it if you boys didn’t see each other during this period but given the circ*mstances I feel as though I can’t really take that away from you. However, I would be most obliged if you met outdoors only. Im sure the marketing department can knock together something along the lines of Todd reforming to the side of good so you two don’t look suspicious if you’re seen together.”
“Wait, Ms. O.” I say. “I think it might be better for everyone if you made it seem as though Todd hasn’t ‘reformed’ of his own free will? Maybe something like a villain rehabilitation program? That way the villains won't think that they were right in thinking Todd was spying on them for us?”
“Good point Oscar. We can do that.” Ms. O says, almost, almost, smiling. “Well, I think you boys should stay somewhere a little more private for maybe the next week, and then we will be sending you home for the next four weeks.” She continues. We nod in agreement, exchanging relived looks yet again.

When Ms. O and her security entourage finally leave, and Dr. O has given us a check up, the first decent meal we’ve had in weeks, and a promise to move us to a more convenient location tomorrow, and then left, I slump back onto my pillows with a sigh of contentment.
“You alright?” Todd asks. I hum my agreement. He says something else but I don’t catch it, because i’ve fallen asleep.

Chapter 22: Chapter twenty two: Probation

Chapter Text

JANUARY

Im not even that mad about the probation, because healing a broken arm and nose sure is a lot easier in the calm environment of my own home than it is in the chaos of Odd Squad. Todd shares the same sentiment, and frequently curses the villains for his broken ribs and leg.

“Not one or the other, but both! ‘Lets break his leg and then, while we’re at it, we can make it super painful for him every time he drops something, and make it impossible for him to use crutches without pain, by breaking his ribs as well!’ f*cking bitches.”

Needless to say, he owns a wheelchair now.

We’ve been meeting up almost every day now, since neither of us has anything much to do, always followed at a distance by a team of security guards. It feels weird having someone watching us at all times, but it’s not like they care much either way. One day, during a lazy afternoon by the town lake I looked over at our security entourage to see three of them making a daisy chain together. I pointed this out to Todd and we didn’t stop laughing for like a full half an hour. We definitely act more distanced, but thats mostly because I think we’re both conscious of the fact that we’re being observed, and so we keep the overly… cutesy… for want of a better word, physical touch to a minimum.

By week three we both start to get bored, and we begin to explore further and further around town, and I’ve started ambushing Oona on her way home and pestering her for stories and gossip, (I am nothing if not a peruser of the finest tea,) to tell to Todd the next day. My house has never been cleaner, and I've dug up all my old lego sets and rebuilt about half of them. Todd’s started to learn some new songs on his guitar. I start to learn how to cook good food. It’s very productive overall.

When week four rolls around, we are so ready to get out of probation. We’ve both been on out very best behaviour, apparently Todd’s started gardening, which he really loves. I built my old lego set of the Millennium Falcon (the really big one) in about a day and a half, just sitting on my lounge room floor surrounded by lego bits. The day before what we’ve come to call ‘judgement day’ we totally splash out, I’m talking whole day out, fancy lunch, the whole nine yards. We part our ways with our security entourages and excited chatter. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

Chapter 23: Chapter twenty three: normal?

Chapter Text

FEBRUARY

I don’t sleep much that night, and when morning comes I’m a nervous wreck, but I get dressed, pull my lab coat on, fasten my bow-tie, and eat breakfast successfully. There’s a knock at my door at about 10:00 am and I’ve answered it before they finish knocking. It’s Owen, head of security.
“Ready to go newbie?” He asks. He still calls me newbie, even though I've been working at odd squad for decades now.
“Let’s get this over with.” I mutter.
“Thats the spirit. Come on.” Owen keeps up a cheerful stream of chatter all the way to HQ (we’re walking in, I still dont have tube access,) and says that he thinks i’ll do great, after all, if Ms. O cant trust the head of security, who could she trust. I just nod mutely, feeling like if I say anything I’ll throw up my breakfast all over my shoes, which would be rather unfortunate, as I made sure they were nice and clean before I left the house. After what seems like hours of walking we take the stairs down into HQ. Im shocked at how little it’s changed since I've been away, and I am very tempted to go running down to the lab to check on it. But I’m surrounded by security so the most I can do is breathe in the familiar smell of HQ, smelling of paperwork and juice, and a hint of dust. I gaze over the top floor railing down into the bullpen and watch the agents at work.

It’s good to be home.

Moments later I’m marched into Ms. O’s office and the smell of fruit juice and old leather nearly knocks me off my feet. I'd almost forgotten how powerful that was. Ms. O is seated behind her desk, hair in a bun, suit immaculate, playing snakes and ladders with an assistant. I’d laugh, but I’m petrified. It’s like Christmas Eve. Have I been good enough? Ms. O smiles at me as I walk in though, which is a great sign. I hope. I stand, palms sweaty, knees shaking, rubbing my palm with my thumb anxiously, (and stopping abruptly when I rub a bit too hard and the still mending fingers on my left hand cry out in protest.) We stand in silence for several long, uncomfortable moments, before Ms. O gestures to her sofa, inviting me to sit down. I do so, and her assistant throws me a juice box, which I catch, slightly shocked, but drink it gratefully. ‘No way.’ I think, taking a tentative sip to check that my tastebuds haven’t betrayed me. Much as I suspected, they haven’t, and the assistant gave me a fruit punch box, Ms. O’s favourite flavour, and that she’s notoriously protective of. I drink it as silently as possible while we wait for the security team to get back with Todd. Eventually they walk in, Todd rolling himself along in his wheel chair. We share a brief, nervous, expectant look before Ms. O clears her throat, directing out attention to her.

“There you two are. Nothing very odd has happened.” She says, beaming. We look at her, puzzled, and she sighs.
“You’re off the hook. Agent Owen and the security team have given glowing reports of you two. Thats it, probation period over.” She spells out for us. I jump up out of my seat and squeal with delight like a little girl, waving my one good arm around in the air, which sets Todd off into fits of raucous laughter. Ms. O allows us about a minute of this before clearing her throat pointedly and making a ‘shut up’ gesture with her hand. We sober up immediately, and I settle myself on the floor, back against the side of Todds wheel chair.
“Congratulations Oscar. Odd Todd. Although I guess it’s just, Todd now. Todd. Yeah thats going to take some getting used to.” She says. We laugh again, and she raises her eyebrows at us in amused fashion.
“Oscar, when you’re done laughing at me, I have something for you.” I stop laughing and get up, making my way slowly to Ms. O’s desk. She’s holding my badge in her hand. It’s in perfect condition. Polished, gleaming, pristine. I tentatively take it from her and pin it on my lab coat. Oh that feels right.
“Welcome back Oscar.” Ms. O says.

At that moment Oona races into the room yelling,
“See?! See?! I told you he would do it! I told you, I told you!! Welcome back boss. I told you he could do it Op- Ms. O! I knew that Oscar would pull through and you said he wouldn’t!”
“Yes well you might want to save your celebration for later. I believe you bet that ONLY Oscar would make it. I believe that Agent Otis was the one who bet they would both pass with flying colours.” Ms. O chastises. Oona groans, and as she dose, Todd pipes up indignantly.
“Im sorry,” he says, grumpily, “and do forgive me if I misread the situation, but did you actually start a betting pool on wether or not we would commit any odd deeds?”
Ms. O bites her fingernail and Oona suddenly becomes intensely interested in the state of her shoes.
“We might have.” Ms. O says, eventually. Todd growls in annoyance but I laugh.
“Best go tell Otis he won and cash in then, hey Oona?” I tease. She sticks her tongue out at me and flounces out of the office.

“Back to business then boys.” Ms. O says. “Oscar, you’ve been reinstated as a scientist, congrats. Todd, you aren’t officially on the villain watch list anymore, but I would still feel more… comfortable if you had someone monitoring you more often than not. You’ll forgive me, I hope, for not dropping my reservations the second I can, we have had some rocky history.”
Todd, to his credit, just nods, but I can see a tightness in his jaw that means he is not pleased with this arrangement. I step in quickly.
“Ms. O.” I say, raising my hand a bit. “If it was suitable for you, I could keep an eye on him? I have the room in my house, and we hang out loads already. He’s also less inclined to be odd around his friends, I think.” I glance at Todd as I say this, and he gives me a tiny, almost imperceptible nod. Ms. O considers this for a while. I hold my breath.
Finally, she says, “It could work. Perhaps a trial period is in order.”
I nod, and shoot Todd a glance that says, ‘help me out here!’ And he rolled his eyes but says,
“Yeah, sure, I’m okay with that. Another thirty days?”
Ms. O nods, and dismisses Todd, who rolls his chair out into the hallway to wait for me. We have a brief, quiet argument about hidden security personelle and cameras, and end up agreeing on Ms. O just using Oona to double check my weekly reports.
As I’m about to leave the room, Ms. O smiles at me. She’s been doing a lot of that today and I’m seriously wondering who the hell this is and where grumpy Ms. O has gone.
“Hey Oscar?” She says.
“Yeah Ms. O?”
“Good job.”
“Oh, um, thanks Ms. O but it was more of a team effort-“
“Enough chit chat! GO!”
There she is.

We settle into a rhythm. I go to work most weekdays at 9:30 after breakfast and usually before Todd wakes up, spend an exhausting few hours at work, and come home safely to Todd around 5. He’s usually practicing guitar, gardening, browsing Tik Tok, watching a marvel movie, recreating a lego set, or browsing the cookbooks I bought during probation. I collapse on the couch for half an hour, and then we get up (me rather reluctantly), cook dinner, eat it, watch a movie, read some books, whatever, and then I crash in my room, and todd goes to bed in his room, rinse and repeat for five days out of the seven except when I work late, and sometimes on Saturdays because well, work. Oona dose Sundays though so I get those days off, and then we go out to a restaurant or a concert, or just chill at home, pick some bell peppers, whatever really. Sundays are good. Sundays are chill. If we ever had a normal (let’s be real we never really have,) but if we did, this’d be it. Its nice. Its normal. Its lovely.

Chapter 24: Chapter twenty four: Caught feelings

Chapter Text

FEBRUARY

One day, about two weeks in, just after my arm has finally healed, and, by correlation, most all of our broken bones are pretty well fixed, I wake up, bleary eyed, to shallow, fast breathing. I look over my shoulder and flinch. I’d forgotten me and Todd fell asleep in my bed accidentally. And also Todd looks bad. Real bad. He’s faced away from me, hugging his knees to his chest and trembling, and he’s sobbing.
“Todd? Why are you awake?” I whisper, touching his shoulder gently. He jerks, throwing his arm out behind him. The palm of his hand catches me square in the chest.
“Get away from me!” Todd whisper-shouts.
“Todd it’s alright.” I say, holding my hands up like I’m calming a wild animal. “It’s okay, it’s me. It’s Oscar. You’re safe it’s okay, you’re safe, you’re with me. You’re with Oscar. You’re safe, you’re home, you’re with me. With Oscar. You’re safe.” I say, gently.
“Oscar?“ Todd’s voice is shaken “is that- I- Oscar?”
“Yes. It’s me, it’s me. You’re all good.” I say, gently touching his shoulder again, but keeping out of striking distance.
“Are you okay?” He asks, flipping over to face me. His cheeks are streaked with tear-stains and he looks on the verge of doing something really stupid.
“Yeah I’m all good.” I say. “What happened?”
“I- nightmare. Bad one. Just… oh my god. He squeezes his eyes shut.
“Talk to me.” I say. “What happened?”
“I thought we were back… there. I thought…” he starts hyperventilating. I put my hand on his leg gently.
“Hey. It’s okay. It’s over. You’re with me. It’s okay.”
“You aren’t hurt?”
“I’m not hurt. It was a nightmare, it wasn’t real. I’m okay. Im okay. It’s okay”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay.” He sniffles, coughs, and then flings his arms around me and buries his head in my chest. For some reason this strikes me as funny, so I start quietly giggling.
“What? What’s so funny?” Todd asks, resting his chin on my shoulder.
“Well, whenever we hug its because one or the other of us is really sad. I’d like to hug you without my shirt getting damp, for once.” I say, stifling my laughter. This ridiculous statement at once sends Todd off into a fit of laughter, which sets me off again.

Eventually we calm down and lie down again, (thank god tomorrow’s a Sunday), with Todd’s arm flung protectively over my side. I take longer than usual to drift off, head still buzzing, but eventually I fall asleep.

We sleep like that every night now. Its easier.

It’s a dangerous game I’m playing. Having Todd in the house all the time, in my bed for f*cks sake, is just playing with fire. Like a moth drawn to a flame, destructive in its beauty. Like an explosives expert with a bomb, the danger of the familiarity in the unknown. Like a drug. f*cking addicting. Because I hate this feeling I really do, but if I got rid of it I think I’d hate it more.

I think I have a crush on him. sh*t.

I do not want to have a crush on him. I don’t even want to like-like Todd. Not because hes a villain, no, but because I’m supposed to like someone like Oona, or Olympia, or Dr. O, or literally any of the girls in HQ. I'm not supposed to like boys. It’s the same as it was the last time I like-liked him. Awful, because I’m not supposed to and I can’t exactly tell the guy ‘Hey Todd, guess what, I think I like-like you, do you like me back?” Because then if he didn’t (and trust me, he almost certainly will,) I would have ruined our friendship.

~

Olive confronts me at work the next day, coming quietly into the lab, and suggesting calmly that we find a place to talk. I let her lead me to the cookie room, mentally bracing for the storm to come.
We walk in, she kicks a newbie agent out, turns around, shuts the door, and then faces me with this stare that just says, ’What. The Absolute. f*ck.’
Olive, unlike Ms. O, never raises her voice unless she’s panicking or enthused. In other words, when she’s mad at you she sounds emotionless, cold and hard. In short, she is TERRIFYING when she’s mad.
“So.” She says. I nibble on a cookie to stop myself for biting my lips raw. “So. Tell me something, Oscar, and be honest. Was this all just a joke to you? Was what he did, funny, to you? Was his betrayal, amusing? Was it a joke? He forgot me, forgot us, betrayed us. And then you turn around and become his best friend? Like it never happened?”
I don't say anything, stunned into silence.
“Why?” She asks. “I trusted you. Why?”
I give her the most honest answer I can dredge up.
“I dont know.”
“So, so it was, what, an accident?” She says, disbelief flooding her voice.
“Yes.” I say. “Honestly.”
“And now you won’t even tell me the truth. Fine! I should be used to it anyway, right? I mean, this always happens, you always leave! First Odd Todd, now you, next thing you know it’ll be Otto. Let’s face it, I’m just second rate.” She huffs out a dry laugh.
“Whoa, woah, Olive I'm not lying to you. I- Im sorry.” I say.
“You should go.” She says, sitting down on the floor.
“Do you want me to?”
She doesn’t respond. I sit down awkwardly near her.
“You’re not second rate. You are THE best agent I know.”
“Stop lying.”
“Im not. You want the truth? Okay fine. I will give you the truth, the whole truth.”
I tell her EVERYTHING. Including the kiss. She laughs when I tell her that part.
“Now do you believe me?” I ask, blushing.
“If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t. But its you. So I’m not even surprised.”
“What the hell is that meant to mean?” I ask. She just laughs, a watery chuckle.
“Never mind.” She says. “Im still not… chuffed about it. But I’ll keep the bark to a minimum. For you.”
“Stop it, you’ll make me blush.” I say, drily.
We stand, and as Olives about to open the door when I stop her.
“Wait!” I say, desperately. “Dont. Tell. Anyone. Okay?”
“As if. Dont worry. Your dirty little secret is safe with me.” She chortles.

Im more comfortable around Olive now, now that she knows it all. For some reason she keeps smirking at me, like she knows something I don't. When I confront her about it, she just says, “you’ll figure it out.”

Some days I could just punch her.

~

I get home from work about three weeks into our new living arrangement to Todd in my, or, our I guess now, ever expansive back garden, toiling away over something, shirtless. I drop the gadget I’m holding, effectively alerting Todd to my presence. “Hey Oscar!” He says, turning towards me and wiping sweat off his forehead with his hand, which just accomplishes a dirt smear across his face.
“Hi.” I manage, stooping down to pick up my gadget, effectively hiding my blush and making it impossible to meet his eyes. I straighten up but glance over his shoulder to the patch of dirt. “Whatcha planting?” I ask.
“Ah, just there is some lettuce, I’ve planted some peas up the back, and I’m going to plant a few potato plants next. And maybe some carrots too. Im planting for Summer.” He says. ”I can be done within the next… 10, 20 minutes?”
“Yeah. Okay. Uhh, don’t track mud on the carpet, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” I say, still not meeting his eyes much. I turn on my heel, stride inside, flop down on the couch and bury my face in a pillow.

Why is this HAPPENING??

After dinner that day I’m hesitant to go to bed, so I stay up until I'm half asleep fixing a gadget. Then, yawning and dragging my feet, I pull myself to bed, hoping Todd will be asleep. He is, and I flop into my side of the bed gratefully.

Im dead tired the next day at work, and Olive asks me about it as she returns a gadget. Well she already knows it all, the kiss, everything. Okay, not the ‘I think I have a crush on your ex-partner and now I f*cking hate myself because I’m not supposed to like guys.’ but but she should understand. I don’t meet her eyes as I explain. Olive laughs, gives me one of her annoying smirks, and flounces off. Otto walks up moments later and notices me glaring daggers at Olives back.
“Whassup with you?” He asks, reaching behind his back for several busted gadgets. If anyone drops gadgets more than me, it’s Otto.
“Olive. She’s being annoyingly superior about a little… issue I have.”
“I see.” Says Otto, still completely in the dark. “Do you want me to talk to her?”
“No, thanks though. It’s a sensitive issue. By the way, have you seen Oona?” I ask.
“Ms. O’s office.”
“Thanks Otto.”
“You’re very welcome.”
I bound off up the stairs to Ms. O’s office to find Oona, theres a lot of work to do in the lab and I need her help. I knock on the glass door and slide it open to find Ms. O and Oona sitting rather closer together than is quite necessary, and giggling over some rather official looking documents. Good god they really are EXACTLY like me and Todd. I clear my throat to grab their attention.
Ms. O and Oona jump apart.
“Oscar. What is it?” Ms. O asks.
“I need Oona for a bit but if she’s busy then I can go…” I say, walking toward the door.
“No it’s okay, we’re done here.” Ms. O says, sharply. Oona gets up and follows me out of the office. She doesn’t say anything so I break the ice first.

“So. Those offical documents seemed hilarious.”
“Uhh, yeah.”
“Oona.” I prompt.
“You didn’t see sh*t. Okay?” She hisses.
“Okay. But you two seem awfully close?”
“She’s not as bad as she looks. When you get to know her.” Oona says, rubbing her shoes together. “And for the record, you and Odd Todd are exactly as chummy as we are. Anything going on there?”
“No.” I say, my hand straying to my jawline. I force it down and say with a lot more force, “NO. And he’s not a villain anymore, hes not… not Odd Todd anymore. C’mon, we got work to do.”

Chapter 25: chapter twenty five: Daisy

Chapter Text

MARCH

When the official month of trial period is over and Todd’s finally off the watch list, I feel like I can relax. We celebrate over take-away that night, start a Harry Potter marathon, but start yawing prodigiously halfway through the third movie, and drag ourselves off to our room. ‘When did I start calling it that?’ I wonder. We tumble into bed, fully dressed and fall asleep in minutes. Neither of us wakes, neither of us has a nightmare. I wake up at about 7 o’clock the next morning to the annoying realisation that when we tumbled into bed fully clothed, it was really fully clothed, ie; shoes on and everything. Todd moves around in his sleep, so my shins are bruised. I just silently thank god that he wasn’t wearing his steel-toed-boots. I think my shins might have actual dents in them If he had been.

Olive is the only one who knows my ‘dirty little secret’ as she calls it, and ‘the shame of my entire f*cking life’ as I call it. I think my description is far more accurate. She knows a lot, but I fear that if I told her how I really felt about Todd, (ie; I have a crush on him and I hate myself for it,)_ she mightn’t be so lenient. I do wish there was someone I could tell about this sh*t. For now I’m stuck pulling petals off daisies, ‘I like him, I like him not, I like him, I like him not.’

Olympia comes to me to get a gadget repaired halfway through the day, right when I’m in the middle of my daily daisy ritual.
“Hey Oscar!” She chirps.
“Hey Olympia.” I pluck the last petal off my daisy. ‘I like him.’ Damn it.
“What are you doing?” She asks.
“What?”
“With the daisy.” She clarifies. Oh.
“I-“
“Who’s the lucky lady?” She asks, and sh*t, I had not thought of that. Time to play dumb.
“What do you mean?” I ask, trying for politely bewildered.
“Oh, well there’s this thing you do with a daisy, where you think about your crush, and then you pull off the petals one by one. And with each petal you say, ‘He loves me, he loves me not.’ Or I suppose, SHE loves me, in your case. The last petal that falls is the answer.” She explains, smiling at me. “So were you doing that?”
“I, I guess, I kind of?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I was trying to work out wether or not I do have a crush on them. Oh, hey Otis!”
This last remark is directed to Olympia’s taller partner, and mysterious ex-villain, Otis.
“Hey Oscar.” He says. “Is Olympia spouting her crazy love theories on you?”
“No.” I chuckle. “Or if she is, I asked for it.”
“Hmm.” He snorts. “Okay then, your funeral. Olympia, do not bore him to death.”
“I won’t, you just don’t appreciate true love!” She protests
“We are kids.” He says, and turns around to head back to his desk.

“Anyway.” Olympia says. “What do you mean trying to work out wether or not you have a crush on them? Either you do, or you don’t. It’s that easy.”
I hum for a bit, pick up her gadget, check it over, think of an answer.
“I guess, I don’t think I should have a crush on them.”
“Oh. Are they- well first of all, who are they?”
“I- don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Well, are you friends with them?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you thought about hinting how you feel? Like flirting with them?”
“See, thats the thing ‘Pia, I don’t want them to know I have a crush on them. If they knew, I’d’ve ruined everything.”
“First of all, cute nickname. Second of all, ooooooh. I get it now.”
“Yeahhh.”
“Ahhh, in that case, talk to Otis about suppressing your emotions.”
“I heard that Olympia!” Otis calls across the bullpen.
“Sorry Otis!” She calls back.
“There’s really nothing I can do?” I ask
“Can you tell me anything more about them?” She responds, care and concern in her voice.

Can I?

Chapter 26: chapter twenty six: if you're gay and you hate yourself, are you hom*ophobic?

Chapter Text

MARCH

Olympia had to go back to her work before I could open up, saving us both the awkwardness of that conversation.

But, Olympia being, well, Olympia, she practically jumps me in the cafeteria the next, rather cloudy, Wednesday.
“Hey Oscar!”
I flinch, spilling my chocky milk.
“Hey ‘Pia.”
“You got a minute?” She asks, looking slightly guiltily at the brown puddle on the floor, and even more so when Oksana shoves us aside, mop in one hand, fresh carton of chocky milk in the other, to clean up the mess. She hands me the drink silently, and I gingerly take it from her and make my way to the newly installed sandwich bar to construct my favourite sandwich ever (sourdough bread - toasted, bacon, shredded chicken, tomato, lettuce, ham, dijon mustard, sourdough bread, skewer) and then dig in the freezer for a small ice cream container. When I’m done, I sit myself down at a table, and Olympia sits down next to me.

“So.” She says, staring on her fruit salad. “Your love life issues. Dish it out dude.”
“You SURE you wanna know?” I say, swallowing my mouthful of chocky milk.
“Go on then.” She says, leaning one hand on her fist.
I sigh, sipping my chocolate milk and taking a bite of my sandwich.
“Okay. You cant tell anyone ‘Pia.” I say, slowly.
She nods, and sticks out her pinky. I hook my pinky in hers and we hold eye contact for a few moments. I trust ‘Pia absolutely when it comes to pinky promises, so I feel safe enough to tell her the bare minimum.
“Okay then.” I say. “Well ‘they’ are a-“ I chew my lip.

“They’re a boy. He’s, a boy.”

Olympia doesn’t say anything for too long. I backtrack, fast.
“I mean, uh, its a girl, god sorry that was weird I don’t know why I said that, I think your explanation of the… daisy thing was- confused me, you know, I- forget I said boy, its a girl, obviously, I mean, that's how this works, you like guys I like girls, problem solved! Yeah, its girl I don't why I said it was a-“
“OSCAR.” Olympia interrupts me.
“Yeah?” I say, clenching my jaw to stop myself from rambling.
“Breathe.” Olympia instructs me. “Just breathe, okay?”
I take a breath in and out, and Olympia does the same before talking.
“Oscar, why, why did you backtrack and say it was a girl? Are they a girl? You can be honest.”
I don’t trust myself to speak so I just shake my head.
“So it’s a guy? You like a guy?”
I nod, slowly.
“Okay… so why did you say they were a girl?”
“Because I’m not supposed to like boys.” I mutter. Olympia just looks confused.
“Well I mean- it’s not… conventional but… no one will stop you from liking guys.”
“Olympia you don’t understand, this is so utterly wrong!” I say.
“It’s really not.” She says, taking my hand between hers. “It’s the 21st century we can do whatever we want. Hell, being gay has been legal now for over sixty years now.”
“I know.” I sigh.
“Wait, how old are you?”
Oh, hard questions now.
“Ah, biologically I'd be late twenties I think?” I say, mentally counting the years. “Yeah cause if I was 11 when I started here, and then there was like two years when I swear I did every job odd squad has to offer, and then the lab started ooh, July 3rd, 2008 I believe.”
“Wait so why do you think being gay is so bad?”
I stay quiet.
“Oscar-“
“Idontwanttotalkaboutit.”
“Okay?”
“I gotta go.” I say, dumping my unfinished food in the bin and rushing back to the lab. Oona is there, so I tell her to tell Ms. O that I’m going home. She nods, and I rush to the tube lobby and zoom home, silently run to the bedroom and lock the door. I curl up under the covers, crying.

I don’t come out for hours, lost in my own tears and memories. My parents were very conservative, so I grew up with the mindset that anything that they say is pretty much law, and if you disobey them, you were going to hell. So when I joined odd squad I was immediately overwhelmed. Here was group of kids who were doing all sorts of weird wacky and wonderful things, all totally against my parents regulations. I tried to fit in, failed, tried again, failed again, almost got kicked out, and eventually got into Odd Squad labs. Every night I would come home to my parents with wonderful tales about my work. And almost every night I would be shut down, lectured about how bad some of the people I worked with were and if I picked up any bad habits they would take me straight out of the squad. So to protect myself I would edit my stories. And one day, when we were walking home from a dinner, my parents started yelling at a poor gay couple just holding hands. That was the day I learnt that they were the worlds biggest hom*ophobes. I thought I could just keep my head down and ignore them, ignore their hom*ophobia, until they turned on me and started telling me that I had better not be gay. It was the first time I heard my dad swear. And then… Todd arrived at odd squad. And I could have screamed. When I realised for the first time, that I was that dreaded monstrosity. That I was gay. I've never been okay with it. Never ever. Because it’s wrong! Or it’s not. But it probably is and I hate hate HATE myself for it. Because I shouldn’t be gay I should like girls like a normal dude and and I don’t I like boys, I like Todd, I like an ex-villain.

Why can't I just be normal?

Chapter 27: Chapter twenty seven: gay

Chapter Text

MARCH

Todd finds me curled up in a ball under my covers, cried out, shivering.
“You good?” He asks
“Go ‘way.”
“Do you need anything.”
“No.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
“Okay. I’ll be downstairs if you need me mate.”

I don’t respond.
I don’t want to talk.
Especially not to the boy who started all this trouble.

I come downstairs five minutes later. I can’t be alone with my own thoughts.

“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“You good?”
“No.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
“…”
“Come and sit down, talk to me.” Todd insists. I follow him mutely to the lounge room.
Todd sits on the sofa, but I huddle up in the armchair and pull a blanket over me.

“Okay, what’s going on Oscar?”
Im too f*cking done with literally EVERYTHING to come up with a half decent lie, so I just mumble,
“‘M gay.”
“I’m sorry what?”
“Im gay.”
“I- see?” Todd says in precisely the tone of voice that makes it clear that he doesn’t understand.
“I like guys and- and I shouldn’t.”
“You’re sad... because you’re gay?”
“Yes.”
“And you think you shouldn’t be?"
“I don’t think I just… I shouldn’t be gay. It’s wrong!” I insist.
“Who told you that?” Todd queries, brow furrowed.
“My parents.” I mumble.
“Your parents.” He repeats
“Yeah. Multiple times. They’re right. It’s not natural.”
“What the f*ck…? Oh Oscar…”
“It’s not.” I whisper. “It’s not it’s not it’s really not.”
“Oscar.” Todd says.
“And you have no idea how much I f*ckING HATE MYSELF FOR LIKING A BOY!” I’m shouting now.
“Oscar!” Todd repeats, louder.
“Because I SHOULDN’T! I SHOULD LIKE GIRLS AND I DON’T, I LIKE BOYS AND THATS WRONG AND DISGUSTING AND- AND A MONSTROSITY.”
“OSCAR!” Todd shouts. He’s right in front of me now, hands on my shoulders, forcing me to stop.
“What?” I bite out.
“Look at me.”
I keep my head down.
“Look at me.”
I reluctantly look at him. 
“Look. Im not usually one to bash on peoples upbringings. However your parents raise you is their choice but, your parents are... well there really isn't a way to put this nicely, f*cking wrong.”
I sniff.
“They’re wrong Oscar, do you hear me?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t believe me though.”
“It’s not right.”
“No. No. Okay? Listen to me. Focus on me. Being gay is FINE. I know a lot of people who are gay. Your parents were wrong. And I can’t change your beliefs overnight and I certainly can't erase what your parents said but you are my best friend and I will do whatever I can to help you understand that you and whoever you love, no matter what, unless you like, like, a serial killer, is beautiful. Just the way it is.”
“I-“
“It’s okay. it's okay. it's gonna be okay. ”
“You have gay friends?”
“Yeah. Thats, we'll come back to them. Say it back to me. It’s okay.”
“It’s okay.”
“Your sexuality is fine.”
“My… my sexuality is fine.”
“It’s going to be okay.”
“It’s gonna be okay.”
“You good now?” He asks.
“Better...” I say, scratching at the back of my neck. I'm not better, better, but, im slightly less okay.
“So you like a guy?”
“Yeah. For the record, I don’t like you like that. Its someone else.” I say, fighting the urge to scratch my jaw. Olive says it’s my tell, and Todd was there when she said that. I wonder if I imagine the hurt that flashes across his face and decide I must have, because it’s there and gone so fast.

“Okay.” Todd says.
“Okay.”
“I think, we should do something about fixing, one, both our nightmares, and two, doing something about whatever your parents taught you because THAT is not healthy. D’you reckon odd squad has therapy somewhere?”
“I think so, yes.” I say, scratching the back of my neck again.
“Okay so tonight we get a good night’s sleep, and then tomorrow you and me are going to go to Op- Ms. O and request therapy.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Do you need a hug?” He asks, raising his eyebrows. I nod. He wraps his arms around my shoulders. I latch onto him, breathing in his now familiar comforting scent. When he goes to pull away I latch on tighter and mumble,
“Don’t let go?”
He holds me tighter then, and replies,
“Of course not.”

Chapter 28: Chapter twenty eight: Therapy

Chapter Text

I keep holding Oscar until his tummy gurgles, and then I go and order a pizza and a fancy sandwich, (with olives because i'll eat them even if Oscar won’t,) and then walk back to the couch. Oscars significantly more calm now, although now and then he asks me to tell him that it’s okay. I do so. He has that right, the right to know that it’s okay, and it’s not like he hasn’t helped me whenever I’ve cried before.
Eventually, the food comes, we eat, and then I take Oscar to bed part leading, part walking with, part carrying. I make sure he’s safe and calm before clambering into my side of the bed. When I finally settle down onto my pillows, Oscar curls against me. I fling one arm over him and use the other arm to stroke his hair until his breathing grows regular and he falls asleep. I stay awake thinking though. Im surprised that he’s gay, he never gave me that vibe, but more so that he thinks it’s wrong. Of all people, Oscar seems so... so accepting, so for him to think being gay is borderline criminal, well we’ll have to work on that. And then, of course, our conversation keeps coming back to me.

“So you like a guy?”
“Yeah. For the record, I don’t like you like that. It’s someone else.”

I know he meant to make me more comfortable because he doesn’t know that I’m gay and I definitelyshould have told him, but it hurt more than it should have. Because I like him like that. And he… doesn’t. He wasn’t lying either, I watched for his little tell, but he was scratching the back of his neck, not his jawline, as he often does when he lies. I wonder who he likes.
I fall into a restless sleep.

~

The next day, we head out to HQ, my arm hooked over his shoulders, slightly more hesitantly because well, he’s just a friend, but when he squeezes my hand and grins at me, also slightly hesitantly because he thinks I’m straight and he just came out to me despite his beliefs, or more specifically what his parents told him, which must have taken HELLA GUTS. I’m proud of him. I breathe more comfortably. Eventually we walk into HQ, (we didn’t feel like taking the tubes,) and I remove my arm from his shoulder. He looks momentarily saddened, but gives me a small grin. We knock on Ms. O’s door and walk in, me a tad bit hesitantly because of my rocky, for want of a better word, history with Odd Squad.

“Hello Oscar, O-Todd.” Ms. O says, and I hear her correct herself. Its fair enough. “Can I do anything for you?”
“Uhh yeah.” Oscar says. “Would you, is there, well, we are both pretty shaken from what happened back there with… with the villains. I- is there some kind of therapist that odd squad has? To help agents with trauma?”
“Oh of course…” Ms. O breathes. “Oh god I’m so stupid, I should’ve referred you to to him at once. I’ll draw you a map.”
She quickly scribbles down a map and we follow it out of her office down around the second floor balcony to a tranquil forest room with an agent I don’t recognise, but who Oscar seems to know, sitting in a hammock, reading a book, while a group of small creatures play in the background.

“Hi, Ocean?” Oscar says, confused.
“Oh, hey dudes.” The agent called Ocean drawls. “What can I do for you?”
“Ms. O said to come here because we needed… help. With like, therapy, help.”
“Oh yeah you’re in the right place then my dudes.”
“Really?” Oscar asks. “I thought you were a creature guy...?”
“Oh yeah, but creature therapy is the best way to ease your worries and fix your mental state out there. Don’t worry, I’ll get you dudes feeling fine in no time.”
“Oh, okay.” Oscar says, nodding.
“So my dudes, what can I do for you?” Ocean asks. I like this guy.
Oscar looks at me to explain.

“Ah, well, I assume you know about the whole, villains kidnapping us deal?” I say.
“Oh yeahhh, I heard about that. I was actually wondering why I hadn’t seen you dudes before.”
“Yeah well, if we could get rid of the residue trauma from that, cause neither of us have been sleeping very well.”
“Yeah, I can help with that. Anything else?”
Oscar steels himself, opens his mouth and then shuts it again. He gestures at me, and I nod.
“Oscar’s been having a bit of trouble regarding his sexuality.” I say. “He’s gay, but the way he was raised and his parents beliefs, well, hes not entirely confident with that aspect of himself.”
“Ohhh. You know, that does make sense, you being gay, now that I think about it. Yeah we can work on that Oscar don’t you worry.” Ocean says.

~

The way our therapy sessions work is that once a week, we come in and talk about everything with Ocean, and he leads us in some exercises with these weird little creatures, specialising in the happiness of others that allow them to take away our stress and our worries. I will admit, it’s not the most… conventional of therapists, but it starts to work almost immediately. We sleep through the night, nightmare-less more often, and Oscar has become slightly, just slightly, less ashamed about his sexuality. Ocean tells us he can't guarantee a full removal of all our trauma, and that there will always be residue, because thats jut how trauma works, but it works well enough. Some days and nights are still bad, but they would be so, so much worse without Ocean’s help. Its going to be okay.

Chapter 29: chapter twenty nine: the scientists being straight is a very funny joke

Chapter Text

APRIL

One day, a few weeks after we start regular therapy, I got up and shambled downstairs to the enticing smell of bacon and eggs, pulling on my lab coat.
“‘Morning!” Todd says in an annoyingly sing-song voice.
“Mmhmmm.” I say, not willing to accept that I need to be productive.
“Guess what day it is?”
“Tuesday.”
“God you’re boring. It’s our six month friendship anniversary!” He declares, sending a sunny grin my way.
“Six month…”
“Friendship anniversary, yeah! Or, at least six months since we stopped viewing each other as mortal enemies who must be destroyed at all costs.”
“First of all, I’m ASTOUNDED that you kept track of that, and second of all, thank you for making brekky.”
“You’re very welcome! You got work today?”
“Yes. Tuesday.” I remind him.
“Mmmhhhmmm, okay well, tell Ocean I say hi if you see him!” He says, still smiling, chucking some toast in the toaster. I move silently behind him and grab the plates, cups, and cutlery to set the table, stomach rumbling. Moments later the toast pops and breakfast lands on the table.

~

Oona is waiting, chewing her nails, in the lab.
“Boss.” She says, rather stiffly.
“Oona.” I greet her, a touch warily.
“I have something I need to tell you.” She says.
“Fire ahead.” I smile at her, dumping the finally repaired ’turn-you-to-stone-inator’ that I damaged all those months ago during the fight with the villains on the lab bench.
“Well. I thought I should tell you, that me and Ms. O are... going out. Like as a couple. Like we’re dating.”
“Wait you- what?”
“Me and Oprah are dating.” She says, bluntly.
“You’re dating-“ I stutter to a stop as my brain handles this new information. I revert to only the most basic and primitive functions, ie: breathe, blink, stay standing, process information.
“Yes. Im dating Ms. O.” Oona clarifies. My brain latches on to the one piece of relevant information this gives me. Girl dating girl.
“So you’re… gay?” I wonder aloud. Oona chuckles
“That would tend to indicate that fact, yes. well, actually I'm bisexual." She says.
“Bisexual.” I repeat, feeling astoundingly slow.
“I like girls and guys.” She clarifies.
“Oh.”
“Yeah so… I just thought you should…” she gestures vaguely. Finally my brain catches up and works again.
“I- um- wow! Yeah, wow Oona that’s super cool! I- thanks for telling me!” I laugh.
“Yeah, I just thought you should know, huh?”
“Yeah, yeah. Uh, how long have you two been going out? Or is that a rude question?” I ask.
“It’s fine.” She smiles, perking up. “Two months-ish, so it’s still new, but we liked each other WAY before that.”
“Yeah! Im so proud of you two! Give Ms. O my love!”
“Yeah, I will. Thanks Oscar!” She says, and starts to walk away. Suddenly I'm running after her, all gangly limbs and uncoordinated desperation, because it'd be nice if Oona knew I was gay as well. I would probably learn a lot from her, and she might help with my confidence.
“Wait, Oona!”
“Yeah?” She says, turning around.
“I’m-“ I huff, a little out of breath. “I’m gay too.”
“Huh?”
“I like guys. I like a guy.” I say, rubbing my hand on the back of my neck
“Really?” She asks, raising her eyebrows.
“Yeah. Yeah I do.”
"Oh okay!" she says. "I never would've guessed it, but, congrats! Im proud of you. how long have you known?” She asks.
"Uhh, a while now. Guess its just taken me some time to accept it, you know?"
"yeah I get that. I mean, when I started liking Ms. O I was so confused, cause like, she was a girl." Oona says, smiling. im called away moments later to deal with a small fire, so Oona pats me on the back and lets me go.
Today has been a long long day, and it's barely started, but I'm proud of myself. As Ocean would say, 'Any progress is good progress.' and this is a lot of progress
I smile.

Chapter 30: Chapter thirty: Oscar and the Oscarbots

Chapter Text

APRIL
I wake, tired and disorientated, to my badge phone ringing, with a strange request from Ms. O.

~

Two weeks later, as im putting the finishing touches on Ms. O’s request, I realise I have a problem. A big one. I punch in Todd’s phone number and tell him to meet me in the tube lobby because my god this is a very big problem. He lets me know he’ll be there ASAP and hangs up. I make my way to the tube lobby and greet O’Scarlet. Moments later, Odd Todd whooshes into the lobby and just as we are about to sprint out Otto and Olive whoosh in.
“Brilliant.” I say, eyes wide.
“O’Scarlet. Oscar. Todd.” They greet us.
“Hey guys! I need your help.” I say, by way of explanation, grabbing Otto and Olive’s suit jackets and dragging them after me to the lab, Todd hot on our heels. There’s several tense moments of silence in which we wait for the last stragglers to leave HQ.
“All clear.” Todd says.
“Great!” I say. “So Ms. O asked me to build a top secret machine, and it was really hard, but it being to secret and all, I couldn’t ask anyone for help, so to help me build it, I made these guys!” I blow into the coaches whistle I’m holding and two dozen-ish robots that look like me appear around the bullpen.
“You cloned yourself?” Olive cries, exasperated.
“No! What am I, crazy? They’re robots.” I say. I call over Oscarbot number one. “Every Oscarbot has a special part to play to make Ms. O’s machine work. So, number one does the first part, and number two does the second part, and number three does the third-“
“We got it!” Todd interrupts me.
“Right. Well last night I lined up all the Oscarbots, 1 through 25, and Ms. O’s machine worked! Then we went to the movies to celebrate. But when we got back, some of them were missing! And Ms. O’s machine doesn’t work without all 25 Oscarbots! And if this machine doesn’t work, Ms. O will never forgive me!”
“I'm sure thats not true.” Otto says. But I can still hear Ms. O’s voice over the phone yelling, ‘If this machine doesn’t work I’ll NEVER forgive you!!’
“What am I gonna do!” I lament “I don’t even know which Oscarbots are missing!”
“I have an idea.” Olive smiles.
We line up all the Oscarbots in order. I’m immediately self-conscious of my hair. Olive zaps the bots so that they're all standing under their number. It’s easier now to find the missing numbers. We do so, calling out the missing bots as we spot them.
“Found one.” Otto says. “It goes one, two, three, five, six. Four is missing.”
“So is number eight, look it goes seven, then nine!” I say.
One of the Oscarbots, number nine, pipes up, frantically pointing at the empty space next to him.
“Oscarbot nine is right!” Todd says. “There’s another gap, it goes nine, eleven, twelve! Oscarbot ten is missing too!”
“And the last Oscarbot is 23.” Olive says. “Which means twenty four and twenty five got loose.”
“So there’s five missing.” I summarise. “Four, eight, ten, twenty four and twenty five.”
Just then my badge phone rings. I pick it up. It’s Ms. O.
“Oscar! Have you finished with my machine yet?”
I panic.
“Uhh just making some final adjustments.” I explain, trying to keep the fear out of my voice.
“Okay. Hurry, nothing has ever been more important, do you hear me. NOTHING!”
I hang up in a hurry, wincing because the woman just yelled in my ear. “We have got to find those bots.”

“But how?” Otto asks, reasonably enough. Thats a great question. Im not entirely sure I have an answer. Olive does though.
“HEY!” She calls to the Oscarbots. “You all love your number, right?”
The Oscarbots all make various happy noises of agreement.
“Olive's onto something.” Todd says. “Maybe if we find the missing Oscarbots numbers-“
“We’ll find them too!” Olive finishes for him, with a scowl. Todd, at the very least, has the decency to look sheepish.
“But where would we find those numbers?” Olive queries.
Otto appears deep in thought before saying, “They sell doughnuts in a dozen! A dozen is twenty five!”
“A dozen is twelve.” Me, Todd, and Olive all say at the same time. Otto looks disheartened.
“Nice try though partner.” Olive says, which perks him back up. I, meanwhile, have remembered an important detail regarding the number 25.
“Polly graphs having a sale of lemonade! A cup for a quarter! A quarter is twenty five cents!”
“Let’s go!” I cry, and we all race out the door. I stop momentarily to glare back at the ‘bots.
“Dont any of you move.” I say, threateningly, and then chase after the others.

~

We find Oscarbot 25 at Polly’s lemonade stand, much as we predicted, excitedly pointing at a quarter, while Polly exasperatedly explains that its a quarter and if the Oscarbot gives her one, she’ll give it a lemonade.
“Wait, Polly!” I cry, running out from the tubes. “Thats not me! I’m me! It’s an Oscarbot!”
“Wow!” Polly says, deploying her trademark sarcasm. “Thats the most surprising thing I’ve heard all day.”
“Oscarbot 25, you are coming with us.” Todd says, business like. Meanwhile Otto points into the sky and says,
“Hey guys? I think I just found Oscarbot ten.” We all turn to see what hes pointing at and sure enough, Oscarbot ten is riding the skies in a biplane, skywriting the number 10.
“He’s gonna be so disappointed.” Polly says, staring up at him.
“25” says Oscarbot 25, agreeing with her.

~

Back at HQ we line up the Oscarbots, putting 10 and 25 in their rightful positions.
“This is great!” Otto says. “But we’re still missing 4, 8, and 24.” We think for a bit, and then Olive says,
“There’s a club 24 downtown.” earning her bewildered looks from both Otto and Todd.
“What?” She says. “I have a life outside of work!”
So we make our way to club 24, drag Oscarbot 24 out, who comes with no small amount of complaining, thank Tony the bouncer, and make our way back to HQ, where we just need to find Oscarbots four and eight. My badge phone rings. It’s Ms. O. Again.
“Sorry I’m late Oscar. Time flies when you’re having fun.” There’s the sound of a cement block being broken. I wince. “Im heading back for reals now. Are you finished with my machine?” She asks. I survey the line of Oscarbots, and I bite my lip.
“Actually Ms. O if could have just a little bit more time, that would be great.” I say, shakily. Over the phone there's the sound of a BEAR and Ms. O, ever the opportunist, says, “it looks like you just bought yourself an extra thirty seconds.” And hangs up.

I drop my badge phone, trip, stumble, and fall backwards onto Todd, panicking. Olive hands me my phone as I use the railing to pull myself into a standing position.
“It’s over!” I moan. “I’m gonna get kicked off Odd Squad!”
“It’s gonna be okay!” Todd says, and Otto puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“Oh well!” I say. “Even if my life is ruined, I’m sure four and eight are happy together.”
“Together?” Olive asks.
“Yeah.” I say, valiantly holding back tears. “Four and eight, they were like, best buds. They did everything together.”
“Then maybe…” Todd says, clearly on the same wavelength as Olive, I meanwhile am FAR behind them.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be looking for eights and fours!” Olive says.
Otto makes a noise of confusion.
“Well if they’re together, then we should ADD eight and four.” Todd explains.
“So eight plus four is eight, nine-“ Olive says.
“Ten-“ Todd butts in.
“Eleven-“ Olive says.
“Twelve!” They shout together. And while their tight lipped smiles and stiff nods to each other might be somewhat forced and fake, but the absolute beam that splits my face to see two of my best friends working together and perhaps even reconciling, however reluctantly, could never be faked.
“Twelve is a dozen! And we know what comes in a dozen!” Otto says, excited, rubbing his hands together.
“Eggs!” I say.
Olive sighs. “He means doughnuts. Lets go.”

We make out way to the doughnut room, where we come across, sure enough, eight and four, sitting across a table from one another, laughing hysterically at a joke. At least, I assume thats what they’re doing. It’s kind of hard to tell when they only speak in their number, but it sounds like they’re laughing. Olive takes charge.
“Gentlemen! I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.”
Eight and four confer with each other, briefly, and then follow us out of the doughnut room, Otto stoping only to grab one of the doughnuts they were eating. We rush back to where we have the bots assembled, stand four and eight in place and double check that they're all there. And indeed they are. All twenty five of them. And just in time too because Ms. O storms in yelling “OSCAR! Is my machine ready?”
I smile, confidently. “You bet Ms. O. OSCARBOTS! ASSEMBLE! In my lab.”

Moments later they’re all crowded into the lab, and I’m nervously holding the ‘start’ button.
“Here we go!” I say, pressing it. The Oscarbots spring into action, all of them doing their different bits. I bite my lip nervously as Ms. O, Otto, Olive, and Todd watch in astonishment. It’s a flurry of movement, and then, suddenly, it all quiets, and Oscarbot twenty five brings over the finished product.
“You created twenty five Oscarbots to help you make a juice box? Otto says, incredulously.
“The prefect juice box.” Ms. O corrects him.
“I seriously cannot believe we stayed up all night-“ Otto starts to say, enraged, but Olive cuts him off. “It’s okay partner. I know what’ll cheer you up. The Cake Room. Lets go.”
“Theres a cake room?” Otto says, shocked. Todd loses it and bends over, cackling with laughter as Otto and Olive walk away.

“I guess I should also mention that the Oscarbots also form a giant robot.” I say to Ms. O, as the bots do just that. She shoves her newly created juice box at my chest and growls.
“Good. Something else to fight.”
I move out of the way hurriedly.

Chapter 31: Chapter Thirty one: and they were roommates!

Chapter Text

JULY

Several months go by without much incident save for Owen learning how to make explosives and almost blowing up HQ in the process, me walking in on Oona and Ms. O kissing, like actually kissing, and then immediately becoming their third wheel (its not bad, I get juice boxes sometimes,) Todd being granted his own little odd squad department, the garden department, greatly appreciated and endorsed by Oksana, and of course my own gay problems, all of which can be summed up in the sentence,
f*cking god he’s cute, what the f*ck, how am I going to survive?
And Olive is NOT helping. I think she suspects I might be gay and it might be for todd, and the girl keeps hinting that we’re perfect for each other even though I keep telling her that 1) I’m not interested in Todd 2) He’s not even gay and 3) even if I were gay, I would not want to date him because we are just friends.

~

One day, when I get home from work, Todds sitting, curled up on the sofa, chin resting on his hand, staring intently at the tube entrance and, more specifically, at me. He laughs as I shoop into the lounge room, and my smile turns into a disgruntled glare.
“What?” I say.
“5:39 PM on the dot.” He responds like that clears anything up.
“What?” I say, completely lost.
“Thats when you get home, almost every day and if you don’t, you won’t be home before I get to bed.”
“I-“ I trail off thinking.
“I just noticed it and thought I’d check.” He says, a bit sheepishly. I laugh.
“Am I really that punctual?” I ask.
“To a T. Morning as well, in the tubes by 9:25 AM every morning.”
“Am I?”
“Like f*cking clockwork dude.”
“Oh.” I huff out a laugh. “I’d never noticed.”
“You do a lot of weird things that I’m not sure you notice you do.”
“I do?”
“I- uhh, yeah. I should stop talking.” He says, stumbling over his words. Im intrigued though. How weird are these weird things, and more importantly how have I never noticed that I do them?

“No, tell me.” I say, sitting on the floor.
“Uhh okay well- you rub your fingers over your scars whenever you’re problem solving, particularly this one.” He says, tracing his finger along the scar on the back of my left hand, the longer one, which traces from the knuckle of my middle finger to the point of my wrist just below my thumb.
“You fiddle with your pen when you’re listening to someone, and if they talk for a long time it ends up matching the pace of their words. And you always pick the daisies you pass.”
“And you just noticed that?“
“Yeah... its... I notice things, its a habit, i'm, observant.”
“I- okay… cool.” I say, attempting to squish the butterflies dancing around in my stomach.
‘No, no it is NOT cute that he memorised all those things about me, it is NOT cute and we ARE going to ignore that.’ I tell myself, sternly, but my cheeks are hot and probably as red as a stoplight.
Todd looks down at his feet and mutters something about just being observant and that he didn't want to embarrass me, and hell, now I feel bad.
“Oh, no it’s fine, I just, didn’t realise you noticed that.” I say. "
“I notice a lot about you.” Todd says.
“Clearly.” I laugh, leaning my head back against the couch and stretching. “More than I’ve noticed about you I’m sure.”
“Mmm. I do tend to do that. Notice things, I mean. Like how your eyes sparkle when you find a solution to a really hard problem.”
I laugh, and self-conciously push my glasses up.
“You’re really weird.” I say. “I like it- OW!” I break off as Todds foot connects with my knee. “I said I liked it, you jerk!”
“Shoulda said it faster!” He smirks, and that does it, because immediately I spring up and wrestle him onto the ground until I’m on top of him.
“Gotcha!” I cry, elated. He pulls one of his hands free and flips me off. I fake an offended swooning fit, effectively landing me on my back with my legs underneath me and surprise surprise, Todd leaning over me triumphantly. I roll my eyes at him and readjust my legs so nothing's going to break. I go to move out from under him but he grabs my shoulders, effectively initiating my panic mode. I avoid eye contact like the fate of the world depends on it.
“Gay.” Todd snorts at me, and something animal in me snaps.

‘He knows. He knows you like him.’ The voices in my head whisper. I jerk out from under him, take my glasses off, and turn my face away so I can cry freely.
“Woah are you crying? Oscar what’s wrong?” todd says, his hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry!” I sob, wretchedly. “Im so, so, sorry I- I didn’t mean to!”
“Wait you didn’t mean to what? Oscar what’s going on. Talk to me.” He says and his voice is so gentle and so kind and I don’t deserve that kindness because I fell for my best friend, I fell for a straight dude.

“I- I lied to you. I’m sorry, I- it won’t happen again, I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, hey, it’s alright. We all mess up sometimes. Do you- wanna tell me what it was about?” He asks, and he sounds so concerned and confused. He deserves to know the truth.
“I- remember when I told you I was gay?” I sniffle.
“Yeah… what about it?”
“Well I said it wasn’t you, like that I didn't like you, and, and it was, and I do, and I really didn’t mean to fall for you and I’m so sorry cause I know you’re straight and I really did not mean to fall for you.”
“Hey it’s okay.” Todd says, gently. “Neither did I.”
“… what?!”

Chapter 32: Chapter thirty two: Oh my god they were roommates!

Chapter Text

JULY

“… what?!” I says as I realise what the f*ck Todd just said because did I really just say that I liked him? Did he just say that he liked… me?
“What?” Todd repeats.
“I- you- we- gay?” I get out, blinking slowly. I inwardly marvel at the level of talentless English my brain just concocted.
“What?” Todd repeats again.
“I thought- you- you said you were straight?” I say.
“No… I just never expressly said that I was gay.” He corrects.
“So you…” I start to say.
“Yes, I’m gay.”
“And you…” I start again.
“Like you? Uhh that depends. Do you like me like that?” Todd asks.
I nod, vigourously.
“And I told you that I-“ He starts to say.
“Yes. I think that you just told me that you like like me.” I clarify.
“sh*t. Uhh. What do we do now?” Todd asks, which is very fair because I never got this far in my head.
“I have someone who might know?” I suggest. He nods, and very slowly, very tentatively, holds my hand. It’s not like we haven’t held hands before, but well, when we both just did… whatever that was, well its sorta- uncharted territory. But I doesn’t move my hand away, I just dial Oona’s number on my badge phone.

“It’s ringing.” I say. He nods. Oona picks up, and before she can do much more than introduce herself, I interrupt her.
“Hey Oona. Could you… come over? Please. I- we- me and Todd, that is, have some questions for you.”
“Uhh… yeah sure, I can be there in a few minutes.” Oona’s voice says, kinda crackly through the phone.
I smile, respond, “okay, see you in five,” and hang up.
“Oona will be over in a few minutes.” I repeat to Todd.
“Okay.” He murmers, still holding my hand. The word ‘crush’ runs through my brain, chased by another, different, more exciting word. ‘Dating.’

Oona appears in the living room, takes one look at me and Todd holding hands and sitting rather close together on the floor, staring at our clasped hands like its the coolest thing since sliced bread, and doubles over, laughing hysterically. When she eventually stops laughing, she straightens up, cracks her knuckles, and says, “Okay, details. What happened?”
We hesitantly and haltingly explain the situation to her, and finish with the fact that we don’t exactly know how to deal with this new information, if at all. Oona cackles with laughter again when we finish.
“So what do you want me to do about it?” She laughs.
“Well, you have a- a partner.” I say. Todd must have clued in immediately to the fact that whoever Oona’s dating, it’s not a dude, because he asks,
“Who is she then?”
Oona flushes pink and mutters,
“Ms. O”
He whistles, impressed. I plough on with my question.
“Yeah so you’re dating Ms. O and we were wondering, what did you do after you found out you liked each other?”
Oona hums, sticks her tongue out, stares at the ceiling for a little bit, and eventually speaks.

“Well… it was awkward at first, obviously, you know, when we first worked it out. Didn’t really talk much, and then we talked about it, and Oprah asked me out with her. We went and got a fancy dinner, and took things at our own pace, and, yeah. The important thing is boundaries, going at your own pace, and healthy differences between couple time and friend time. But definitely spend time together, try new things together, have fun together.”
We nod, smile, don’t let go of each others hands. When Oona finally leaves us alone, giggling, and with my stern warning not to tell anyone at all, we collapse into a hug, laughing.
“Are we… dating now?” I ask.
“I- I think so?” Todd says, laughing.
“Dating.” I say, feeling the word in my mouth. Its nice.
“Dinner?” Todd asks.
“Dinner.” I agree.

Chapter 33: Chapter thirty three: my god, these bitches gay

Chapter Text

AUGUST

Dating.

I’m dating Todd.
My world is viewed consistently through rose-coloured glasses. I think I’m actually in like, heaven, or something. The stars have aligned. The cosmos spins perfectly on its axis and glimmers brightly. The sun shines upon the ground and sparkles upon the water. Every cloud has a silver lining.

I’m dating my best friend.
People say when you date someone you go through a ’honeymoon period.’ If this is that I hope to god it never ends. Ive never felt so good in all my days. I accidentally fell for my best friend and I usually hate accidents but this was the best accident ever.

I’m dating a boy.
f*ck my parents. THIS. This is right. Some days are harder than others, some day are a lot harder than other. But I’m working through it. I’m getting better at silencing the voices that tell me that this is wrong.

The first day we both come into HQ after officially starting to date is a beautiful summer day. When we have to part ways, Todd looks around surreptiously, and when he’s made sure no one’s looking, he presses a quick kiss to my knuckles, flashes a quick grin at me, and dashes away. I stand still, blinking, shocked, for several moments before I shake myself and make my way into the lab.

“‘Morning boss!” Oona says, cheerily. Both of us are in very good moods this morning, clearly. And then I see what Oona’s holding, rather secretively. My jaw f*cking DROPS. It’s a juice box, mango-strawberry flavour.
“No way.” I whisper, glancing at the juice box. Oona winks at me, sips the juice, and zaps the box so now it just looks like her water bottle. I gasp.
“Lucky bugger.” I hiss. She laughs and throws me several gadgets that need fixing. I catch most of them, save for the unpumpkin-inator, which doesn’t really do much as there are no pumpkins around. Or so I think, until all of a sudden the most elegant carriage I’ve ever seen materialises in the middle of the bullpen. Oona squawks in surprise and Oksana’s, dull, monotone voice speaks slightly, just slightly faster than usual, indicating that she’s annoyed. I sigh, pinch the bridge of my nose, and direct a small team to move the carriage out of the way until I can fix it. Bippity-boppety-boo, I guess? I’d be a terrible fairy godmother. I pick up the unpumpkin-inator, call an apology to Oksana, who goes trudging wearily back to Todd’s garden patch, dump (carefully) my armfuls of broken gadgets on the bench, pull out my tool kit, and get to work.

Several hours, five fixed gadgets, one new gadget, and one full, actual, I swear to god I am not making this up, yes it was all my fault, Cinderella Story later, I created the Bippity-boppety-boo-gadget, which Oona is in favour of calling the Fairy-Godmother-Machine. Anyway, point is, Oksana’s pumpkin plant (not even a proper pumpkin, just the plant) has been returned to its normal state, and I have a gadget to uncreate and recreate fairytales. All in the day of a life of an Odd Squad scientist.

I end up having a late lunch, which is absolutely soaked in apologies and compliments to Oksana, who eventually kicks me out and tells me to 'stop wasting the air Oscar. Some of us need to use it to breathe.’ Which, OUCH Oksana, that hurt. So I take my lunch with me back into the lab, but before I can find an un-cluttered surface to eat, Ms. O yells my name, so I take my sandwich and make my way up to her office.

“Uhm, hey Ms. O. Oona.” I say, rather thickly, through a mouthful of leftover spaghetti bolognese sandwich.
“Hey Oscar!” Oona waves from where she’s perched on the desk beside Ms. O.
“Hey.” I repeat, swallowing my bite of sandwich. “Uhh, what’d you need me for?”
A tsunami of emotion crosses Ms. O’s face. Oh no.
I brace myself.
“Well, first of all, I’ve been informed that you and Todd are together, congratulations, but keep it low-key around HQ.” Ms. O starts, and Oona has the decency to look bad.
“Thanks.” I say. “But there’s something deeper here. What is it?”
Ms. O sighs, and puts down the pencil she was writing with.
“We’ve lost the Ginger Cat Association’s Ambassador. If we don’t find him again the world will be thrown into utter turmoil!!"
“Top secret mission?” I ask, a small smile flitting across my face. Top secret missions are my favourite type of chaos.
“The tippiest top.” She answers. “Get the crew.”
“And the agents?”
“Octavia and Oz should do well. Well, what are you waiting for? GO!”

Chapter 34: Chapter thirty four: Shhhh… TOP SECRET!

Chapter Text

AUGUST

The missions starts immediately. Oona gets kicked out, and I discreetly find Octavia and give her the down low on the situation. She nods, grabs what seems to be thin air but is really her partner, Oz, and dashes up to Ms. O’s office. Meanwhile, I round up the crew. When we’ve all assembled in Ms. O’s office, she claps her hands and the doors slide shut behind us. The room is immediately bathed in an eerie purple blue glow.

“Alright people, listen up.” Ms. O snaps. We all stand to attention. “The Ambassador of the Ginger Cat Association has been kidnapped. We need to get him back. Or else.” She doesn’t say what the ‘or else’ is, but her tone makes it pretty bloody clear.
“Octavia, Oz, here are your orders, we will keep you updated as the mission progresses. Crew, tell your friends and family you’ll be busy for a while. Well, what are you waiting for? GO!”

We all scramble out of her office, and when we come back, Octavia and Oz are gone.
“Okay people, let’s get this party started!” Ms. O yells. We all get to our places. Ms. O calls Octavia for an update as we begin setting up the room to make it the home of the mission. The room is filled with a flurry of activity, and not a moment too soon because almost immediately we’ve hit our first roadblock.

“Ms. O, we’ve hit a stumbling block.” Octavia’s voice rings out across the room from the screen on the left side of the room. Im crawling under the desk attaching the guardian detector, which looks rather like the bottom half of one of those gramophone thingies, and makes sounds rather like morse code, when it fully works, that is. As it is, the machine is making an ugly squealing sound. I pop up from under the desk and hit the machine. It starts making a satisfying beeping sound, and I smile. Over the beeping I hear Ms. O’s voice saying, “Okay, spill the beans Octavia.”
“Well, we need to get the sword of Antioch to defeat the guardian, but theres a few problems.”
“Yes?”
“Well, for one thing, we don’t know where it is.”
“On it!” I yell, shoving Ms. O’s chair behind me and grabbing a computer.
“Thanks Oscar.” Octavia says. “And also, it’s guarded by a dragon.”
“sh*t.” Ms. O says.
I resonate deeply with that particular sentiment.
“Oscar do we have a fix for that?” Ms. O asks.
“Uhhh, maybe? What do we know about it?”
Octavia sucks in a breath through her teeth.
“Not much.” Oz’s voice says, from somewhere to the left of Octavia.
“Okay.” I say, gritting my teeth. “I’ll keep looking. But for now, you guys are headed to 52.2674° N, 120.2186° W”
“Pardon?” Octavia says.
I roll my eyes very slightly and explain.
“Wells Gray Provincial Park, Clearwater Lake.”
“Okay.” Octavia says. “Thanks guys. Over and out.”
The screen blinks into black and I sit my bum down to search for info on potential dragons. I do hope I’ve sent them in the right direction. Really all I did was a quick scan of the Odd Squad databases for ‘The Sword of Antioch,’ and that was what came up. I hope it’s still relevant. But before I can fret too much Ms. O is yelling at me from across the room and I have to scramble across the room to go fix up the left side screen so we have accurate coordinates for Octavia and Oz. Several moments of banging later the coordinates start scrolling and I keep searching for possible dragons. I’m SO not equipped for this job, but as it’s top secret and all I can’t really ask Ocean for help. Instead I just access his data base and hope for the best. And then promptly sit down because my WORD that is a lot of dragons. I start checking their traits to narrow it down, keeping an eye on the radar behind Ms. Is desk. It’ll go red upon having a dragon within its radius.

What seems like only a few minutes but is realistically probably several hours later, Octavia and Oz pop up on screen.
“We’ve got news.” Octavia says, glancing around her. Well they’re in the middle of somewhere woodsy, at least.
“Oscar, do you see that? Oz asks, and Octavia points behind her. One would assume Oz is also pointing but he’s invisible so… anyway I squint at where Octavia’s pointing, take off my glasses, polish them, and put them back on.
“Hmmm, that plume of smokey looking stuff?” I ask.
“That’s it.” Octavia confirms. “It’s not normal.”
“How so?” I ask, still squinting hard.
“You guys probably can’t see it over camera and it’s hard to explain, but Oz is sending a photo now.
Sure enough a photo pops up on screen. I slide my glasses up my nose and squint. it looks like an intricate picture of a dragon coiled around a sword.
“Permission to swear, Ms. O?” I ask.
“Why?” She asks.
“I know what dragon that is. It’s not good. At all. Like, this could end in death not good.”
“Permission granted.”
“f*ck.” I spit out, and vanish the picture.
“Do you guys want the good news or the bad news first?” I ask Octavia and Oz.
“Good news.” They say in unison.
“Well, the good news is, I know what type of dragon that is. The bad news is that it’s a pictograph dragon. They are fierce, fast, and family-centric, which means they travel in packs.”
“Can they see invisible agents?” Oz asks.
“Don’t think so.” I shrug.
“Brilliant.” Oz says.
“NO! Oz, wait, come back!” Octavia cries, and dashes off.

“Okay people, let’s keep Oz from killing himself and get that sword!” Ms. O cries, and we all dash into action. I rush over to Ms. O’s desk and grab a phone, keeping Octavia in the loop with Oz’s proximity to the dragon. 
“Octavia, Oz has got a seven-five-niner, I repeat a seven-five-niner, we got a two-six-six in the area.” I rattle off. It’s at that moment that a notice that Olive, Otto, Olaf, and Oren have walked into the room and are gaping open mouthed around the room. I follow their line of sight to see that the radar has turned red. I report this to Octavia and, over the hustle and bustle of the room, hear Ms. O yelling,
“There’s no room for air!” At an agent, and it’s true we don’t have any time or space for mistakes. The fate of the world is at stake.

There’s really only one way to get through the hustle and bustle of a Top Secret Mission.
Breathe in.
Breath out.
Keep working.
“Octavia you’ve got a one-one-one, I repeat that’s a one-one-one, with a two-six-six in the area, you are cleared to either attack or run.” I say, biting my lip. There are several moments of intense silence on the other end of the line, and then Oz’s voice yelling,
“RUN! I got the sword now go!!” And the sounds of two agents crashing through the undergrowth. I skid across the room, snatch up Ms. O’s pointer from atop her desk where it’s almost buried in papers, and click it at the screen, saying elatedly “Octavia’s located the Sword of Antioch!”
A grainy video of Octavia holding a sword that reminds me of O’Malley’s sword flashes onto the screen.
Ms. O adresses Olive, Otto, Oren, and Olaf.
“The four of you need to leave! NOW!”
“But the chairs!” Olive protests
“Ugh, fine! Whoever solved the most cases last week wins the chairs! NOW GO!” Ms. O shouts. The four agents dash out of the room. Meanwhile, Octavia has been almost overcome by the sword, and yells, in a slightly strangled manner,
“It’s too powerful!!”
“Ms. O I need a decision here!” I cry. After all, someone has to be on top of things. Ms. O turns to to me and says,
“Prepare the canoe. The big one.”
“You heard the woman! Prep the big canoe. Octavia, hold on!” I yell.
“We- we’ve got it!” She says, on one knee, strugging to keep the sword in check, assisted invisibly by Oz.
“Okay! Keep going you guys!” I say, and then snatch up my walkie-talkie and talk into it.
“Big canoe, coming through, over!”

“Okay team, this is the plan.” Ms. O says, standing on her chair.
“Now that Octavia and Oz have the Sword of Antioch they’ll be headed to the hidden temple of the Atacama Desert, Northern Chile, South America. Now because the villains have been especially crafty, the door is fixed so once you’re in, the door shuts, and locks, behind you. Now the agents are currently being picked up by Oksana’s friend and part time photographer, part time literally everything else, Joy Lefleur, in her helicopter.”
I silently thank my lucky stars that Oksana doesn’t have to go halfway across the country to get fruit and veggies now, because we have our own wonderfully home grown plants, courtesy of my boyfriend. Oh wow thats a new word. ‘Boyfriend.’ I repeat to myself. I like the sound of that. I wonder if Todd would too. But I quickly shake myself out of that train of thought and focus on Ms. O.
“So. The agents will parachute into the temple, and then we need someone to go get them out using the underwater back door, guarded by snakes and a very big, very hungry shark. I’ll do that but I need a way to get past the shark and the snakes and to get in. According to legend, only a true descendant of the tribe that that temple belongs to can get in via the back way. So someone run DNA tests to find that out, Oscar, I’ll need something waterproof for Octavia, Oz, and the ambassador, and a way to get past the guardians. Can you do that?”
“Yep. I’ll need a bubble-inator, a freezinator, a watermelon, a cat carrier, two space suits, and here’s some brain helmets to control the shark so I’ll need two volunteers for that.”
Ms. O blinks, but then two agents come up and grab the brain helmets, two others run over to her desk and begin tearing through the papers for family records, and someone else runs down to the lab and comes back with the gadgets and the cat carrier, and the message that they’ve told Oksana about our watermelon-y need, and that she’s on it. I sit down in a corner of the room and start to build.

Now thing to know about gadget building is that if you know what you want to do, and theres already a gadget for it, combining gadgets is the way to go. If you know what you want to do and there is not already a gadget specifically for that but theres something close enough, then you just take things apart and smoosh them back together until something works. So thats what I did. I took gadgets apart, rewired, and smooshed, and then boom! Mini explosion. So I kept trying, and eventually, (farewell fingerprints, you shall be missed,) I get it, drop the gadget on Ms. O’s desk, talk into my walkie-talkie to let the bullpen know that the big canoe has cleared the room, and zip over to the two agents holding the brain helmets, sit them down, and start securing the brain helmets.
Moments later I call out to Ms. O that the brain helmets are in place. She yells back that we need more balloons. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not the most conventional of parachuting methods but we don’t have any parachutes, so we’re seriously making do. I send an order down for more balloons and to check on the watermelon situation.
The two agents who have been tearing apart the odd squad records call my name, and I skid over to them.
“What’s up team?” I ask. They inform me that apparently one of my great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents was from Chile, which I did not know, so apparently, they need my DNA to open the temples back door, and a hairdresser is already on his way.
“This is not going to work!” Ms. O growls, slamming her hand down on the coffee table and placing the small figurine of Octavia on top of the model of the desert temple.
“It’s going to work Ms. O!” I say, about to explain that I have the DNA we need, but I’m swiftly interrupted by the reappearance of Otto, Olive, Oren and Olaf. While Ms. O is growling at them that, “NOW IS NOT THE TIME!, footage of Octavia holding a cat pops on the left hand screen.
“I have the ambassador! I repeat, I have the ambassador! We’re on a move.” She says, and the footage clicks off, and I turn away from the screen, jaw on the floor. Ms. O strides across the room and yell, “OKAY PEOPLE IT’S SHOWTIME!!”, effectively snapping me out of my shock. I pick up a phone and start talking to the person on the other end of the phone urgently.
“Dami broy, I repeat, Dami broy!!” I shout urgently down the phone before immediately hanging it up. The four intruding agents gape at us, and as Ms. O starts to dress into her wetsuit, I sit my butt down in the barbers chair to get my hair cut so Ms. O can open the door. Olive looks very confused.
“Is Oscar getting his hair cut?” She asks.
“It’s part of the mission!” I snap. Ms. O, now in a diving suit, tells the agents that whoever has the birthday closest to hers can have these apparently oh-so-coveted chairs they’re going on about, and then yells at them to get out. When they’ve left I bustle up to Ms. O’s side and hand her my hair in a little plastic baggy. She pushes past me as the brain helmet agents open a secret compartment leading to a private tube I never knew existed. She kneels down, one elbow resting on her knee, hand fisted on her forehead.
“Preparing to squishinate!” She says, as the agents in brain helmets run off down to the kitchen to get the watermelon for the snakes to eat.
“Squishinating!” She cries, and gets zipped off to where the big canoe is waiting. Moments later the agents in brain helmets run back in, holding a watermelon. We buzz Ms. O and chuck the watermelon in the tubes. Then I bustle over to the agents with the brain helmets on and sit them down. I get the video running, and the agents do a few test runs of controlling the shark, so that when a splash of bubbles falls into the water the shark not only swims calmly out of the way, but points its fin in the direction of the entrance. Ms. O nods and swims away, towing the watermelon behind her.

For several moments, nothing happens and everyone is nervously awaiting their re-arrival, and I’m waiting to check that my gadget worked as intended. No one breathes. And then theres a splash of bubbles, and a dark figure swims toward the shark, and lo and behold its Ms. O, followed by Octavia, Oz, and the Ambassador, safely encased in their waterproof bubble suits. The room erupts into cheers, and we summon Odd Squads offical trumpeter. It’s late at night so not many people will be here, but there are still enough agents around to have a grand re-entry. We clean up Ms. O’s office, return everything to the way it was, and then scatter to tell all the agents still in HQ the good news. I slide down the slide and land in the ball pit crying,
“The eagle has landed! I repeat, the eagle, has landed.” When all in get are confused looks from the four agents in the ball pit, (who are still, it seems, fighting over those god-forsaken chairs,) I sigh, roll my eyes, and explain, “Octavia and Oz are back! Come on!” We rush into the bullpen, where the Odd Squad trumpeter blows a loud, joyous tune. The doors slide open, and Ms. O, covered in seaweed and soaking wet, Octavia, holding the ambassador and smiling broadly, and assumedly Oz, come striding in.
“Welcome home Ambassador. Nice work Octavia, Oz.” Ms. O says.
“Pleasure Ms. O!” Octavia says, smiling and carrying the ambassador off to get him warm and comfortable.
“Oscar!” Ms. O yells, and I come scurrying up beside her.
“Yes Ms. O?” I say.
“Thanks for your help, sorry you had to cut your hair.” She sympathises.
“I did what had to be done. Also, I kinda like it this way!” I smile. “But I would very much like to go home now ma’am.”
“Of course Oscar. Thanks again for your help.”
“No problem, goodnight Ms. O.” I say, already heading home.

Chapter 35: Chapter thirty five: A day in the life

Chapter Text

AUGUST

Todd's asleep when I get home, tired to the bone. I scarf down a quick dinner, change into my PJ’s and tumble into bed. Im asleep in moments.

I have to rush to get into work the next morning, and the second I step foot in the bullpen I’m greeted by Otto’s voice practically yelling,
“What is that on your suit, is that vomit? Are you okay? Olive, what happened?”
“Shut up, shut up, do you wanna tell the whole squad?” Olive hisses, clapping her hand over Otto’s mouth. I wander over, amused, and stand about a meter and a half away.
“Yes, it’s vomit, it’s my baby cousins.” Olive whispers, slowly removing her hand from Otto’s mouth though.
“Do you need a spare suit?” Otto asks, barely above a whisper.
“Yeah...” Olive trails off.
“Uhhh…. Oscar?” Otto asks me, by way of greeting.
“I got you. Here.” I zap olive with the agentinator gadget, and she’s dressed in a fresh suit in moments. I smile, flash a two fingered salute over their way, and continue on my way to the lab.

Moments later I’m accosted by Orchid, eyes wide, gasping for breath. It’s not often that Orchid’s out of sorts, so immediately I’m on high alert, like all the alarm bells are going off.
“What is it Orchid!?” I ask.
“Oscar, I need your help!” She cries.
“Tell. Me. Everything.” I deadpan.
“Owen sent me to tell you that the flying goldfish got loose. He needs a gadget to fix it.” She shrugs. I sigh, pull out a gadget, and hand I to her with a (slightly forced) smile.
“Thanks Oscar.” She says, and flounces off.

I spend the morning fixing varying gadgets, including one so busted I’m not entirely sure exactly which gadget it was before it broke, (Ohlm’s doing), but eventually I get it working and recognisable as a jacket-inator. Im not entire sure thats what it was supposed to be, but I gave it my best shot.

Im accosted by Todd while I’m making my sandwich for lunch. He flings his arm over my shoulders and smiles at me. I turn my head to smile at him and then turn my head back to my sandwich, topping it with a slice of bread and the skewer I was holding, rendering it finished. Todd reaches over and plucks an olive up from the tub they’re sitting in, removes the skewer from the top of my sandwich, skewers the olive, and puts it back in my sandwich.
“There. Perfect.” He says. I look at him shocked.
“What is this ABOMINATION that you have placed upon my perfect sandwich!” I cry, and it’s partly mocking but also seriously who would put olives on literally anything and call it ‘perfect?’
“You dont like olives?” Todd asks, incredulous.
“You do?” I say, confused laughter bubbling up out of my mouth.
“Uhh, yeah?” He says, like it’s obvious.
“Why? They’re so gross.” I say, one hand on my hip.
“You’re delusional. They’re so good.”
“Liar.” I say, taking the accursed fruit off my sandwich. “Here, this is yours, weirdo.” I say. He chuckles, and pops the olive into his mouth.
“Well I have to go, the bell peppers won’t water themselves, so I shall leave you to your tragically unadorned sandwich. See you after work.” he says.
“Bye.” I wave, and he’s gone, leaving me staring after him, goofy grin on my face.

I spend the afternoon running around varying departments fixing things, and then lying on my back in the lab, holding a sketchbook as I figure out the specifics of a jetpack. As I’m figuring out the equations for the ‘hover’ function, a piece of passing conversation catches my attention.
“…so then, as we’re battling Jellybean Joe, like, six other villains show up, and I’m like, what?…”
I frown. Villains aren’t exactly known for their camaraderie. But I dismiss it as a fluke.

Around four, when I’m fixing the systems on the inside go the lab bench, Ms. O comes into the lab, stands still for two seconds and then walks out again. I look over my shoulder in confusion, and then she walks back in, furthering my confusion, and smiles at me.
“Hey Oscar! where do you keep the long nose pliers?”
I raise my eyebrows but hand her a pair.
“Thanks!” She says, and walks out again.

Im fiddling with a gadget in the making when Oona walks in, throws me a water bottle, which ive learnt to accept, it usually has juice in it, which she has a supply of since she started dating Ms. O, and walks out again.
“Thanks!” I call after her, and she flashes me a smile and finger guns over her shoulder.

I clock out right on time, and make it home to Todd, lying upside on the couch.
“Heyyyy.” He says.
“Hello.” I chuckle. “‘Cha doing?”
“Thinking.”
“Mmm so descriptive. Tell me, what’s going on inside that head of yours?”
“Not much. D’you like the word darling?”
“Darling? Uhh… I dont mind it. Why?”
“Let me rephrase that. Would you like it if I called you darling? like as a nickname?”
I start. If he called me… darling? Would I like that? My brain’s doing that weird ’you need to stop, and by stop I mean fully shut down, to process this’ thing that it does.
“Uhm- it’s… it’s…” I trail off.
Todd rolls his eyes, flips over so hes sitting like normal person, and stares at me.
“What if I said it like this? Darling.” He says, and his voice goes low and is almost a purr when he says it this time. I flush, and my brain shocks back to speed, and I respond with,
“Uhh, just normally is fine. I- yeah, darling’s cute… only if you like it though.”
“Okay, darling.” He says, dragging out the ‘r’ sound. I cover my face with a hand, because I’m blushing something awful, and look down my shoes. No way am I making eye contact with that bitch.
“What’s the matter, Darling?” Todd says and it’s deliberate the way he pronounces it because oh my god I can't even look at him.
“Nothing.” I manage, scooting to the other side of the couch because if he touches me I might fall apart.
“Really?” he says, leaning toward me. I scramble for anything I can use to defend myself with. I come up empty handed.
“Yes, really!” I say. “Now come on, I’m hungry.” I hurriedly get up from the couch and scramble to the kitchen. It's a lame excuse for a diversion, but it works. Todd follows me, laughing hysterically.
But I don’t really mind, if I’m honest.
It’s beautiful when he says it like that.
And I’m sure he knows it.

Chapter 36: Chapter thirty six: Jinx

Chapter Text

AUGUST

The next week as I walk into work, I’m immediately thrown in the deep end. I walk up to Ms. O, Otto and Olive on a sunny Thursday morning, and the second I greet them with a cheery,
“Hey guys!” They all turn to me and cry,
“Oscar help!” In unison.
“Help with what?" I ask.
“You’re not talking at the same as us!” They cry, as Dr. O walks over, curious.
“Whats happening?” She asks.
“You’re not talking at the same time as us either! Listen! We’re all talking at the same time!”
“Ive seen this before. You all have a case of the jinx.” Dr. O says.
“The jinx?” They ask.
“It’s like theres an echo in here.” I note.
“How come you two don’t have it?!” They cry, exasperated.
“Well Dr. O and I have caught the jinx before, so we cant get it again. It’s like the chickenpox.”
“It’s similar to the chickenpox.” Dr. O repeats.
Before I can object, Orchid rushes up and all four of them say,
“HELP! I keep talking at the same time as people!”

Its spreading.

“You two, in my office, NOW!” They yell. I'm confused, because with all of them talking at thee same time, which office are we supposed to go to?... I say as much, and they yell,
“Ms. O’s Office!”
Oh. I knew that.

~

Once we enter Ms. O’s office, accosted by many other agents with the jinx, Ms. O sits down and asks us,
“Okay you two. How do we fix the jinx?” I’m shocked. She’s speaking perfectly fine!
“Ms. O, you don’t have it anymore!” I say, happily.
“Of course I do.” She sighs, gesturing to the door. “Im just keeping them outside.”
“The only way to fix this is to find the villain Jimmy Jinx and get his Jinx Cube.” Dr. O says.
“Well, get to it.” Ms. O says.
“But, Ms. O!” I protest. “We work inside HQ! We don’t go out and solve cases!”
“Oscar’s right! This is not who we are, and we cannot do this.” Dr. O agrees.
“I know you’re scared.” Ms. O says. “It’s scary doing new things. But I wouldn’t send you out if I didn’t believe in you with all my heart.”
“Wow Ms. O! thats really nice.” I say.
“It wasn’t me!” She snaps. “It was someone out there. Probably Olive.”
Olive grins and gives us a big thumbs up.
“So where do we find this Jimmy jinx?” Dr. O asks.
“I know someone that can help.” Ms. O says, pulling out a baby rattle.
I swallow nervously.

~

So we hippity-hop our way on down to Rivka and Baby Genius, and Dr. O insists she do the talking because she’s a doctor. Which makes sense, and also means I don’t have to talk, which is wonderful because Rivka is scary, until Dr. O proceeds to yell a Baby Genius and demand answers. Like, I know he’s an evil genius, but still, he’s just a baby! I make a mental note never to let Dr. O ‘do the talking’ ever again, especially not to any babies.
“Listen up you little baby!” She barks. “You need to help us, now!” I jump, Baby Genius starts crying, and Rivka makes shushing noises in order to quiet him.
“Thats it, we’re leaving.” Rivka says, starting to turn the carriage around.
“Oh, we’re never going to find Jimmy Jinx now!” I lament, over the top of the baby’s wailing. Rivka stops in her tracks.
“Jimmy jinx?” She queries. “Well well. You’re in luck. Baby Genius doesn’t… care for Jimmy. So he’s willing to help.” I adjust my lab coat nervously. “But he can’t just give you Jimmy jinx’s address it would break the no-tattle-tale code.”
I groan. Todd’s told me about that stupid code more times than I care to count. It’s a pain in the arse, but it basically sums up to ‘villains don’t tattle-tale on other villains.’ I hope Baby Genius will be benevolent enough to give us a clue. Sure enough, he does. Rivka hands us a piece of paper, and Dr. O reads it out.

“Circle Sue lives at 10 Main Street, and Fladdam lives at 26 Main Street. Jimmy jinx’s address on main street is six more than Circle Sue’s.”
“Well this isn’t much help.” I sigh.
“Yes it is!” Dr. O says. “It’s just a word problem. We just need to focus on the useful information!”
“Well… they all live on Main Street!” I say, elatedly.
“Right!” Says Dr. O. “And it also says that Jimmy jinx’s address is six more than Circle Sue’s, so the part about Fladdam can be ignored.”
“And if Jimmy’s address is more than Circle Sue’s… More than is addition! So then it’s 10, where Circle Sue lives.”
“And if we add six to ten we get eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen! He lives at sixteen Main Street!”
“Let’s go!” I say.
“Thats Olive’s catchphrase.” Dr. O says and damnit she’s right.
“I got another one.” I say. “Let’s motor!”
Dr. O sighs. “We don’t have time for this. Whats next!”

Why are all the good catchphrases taken?

~

I call Ms. O to fill her in and we make our way to 16 Main Street, which is a huge apartment block.
“These villains do pretty well for themselves.” I say, impressed. Kind of.
“Almost as well as doctors, which is what I am.” Dr. O agrees.
“He could be on any one of these floors.” I sigh.
“Then theres only one thing to do. Go inside.”
“Run away screaming.” I say, at the same time. “I mean, yeah, what you said. That.”
We walk inside, and are greeted by none other than Noisemaker. I keep my head down and resist the urge to hiss and spit like an angry cat. Even if he totally deserves it (and more) for what he did. But he doesn’t seem to recognise me, because he welcomes us rather politely. We look at each other in confusion when he asks if we’re evil scientists, and explain that no, Dr. O is a doctor and I’m just a scientist, and we’re from Odd Squad. Noisemaker looks at me harder then, and I see it the second he recognises me. I just keep my head down and keep breathing.
“We’re looking for Jimmy Jinx?” I say, eventually. Turns out, Noisemaker is willing to help us, not directly of course, but with a clue, (no-tattle-tale code.) He gives us a slip of paper and plays some music while I read it out.
“If I have eight trumpets, and you have five fewer trumpets than me, how many trumpets do you have.” I say.
“What the hell do trumpets have to do with anything?” Dr. O asks.
“Trumpets must be secret code for floors!” I cry. Noisemaker gives me a thumbs up. I give him a reluctant, tight smile.
“So if you have eight trumpets and I have five fewer trumpets…” Dr. O begins.
“Fewer is subtraction!” I butt in.
“Then here’s eight, which is how many trumpets you have.” She says, holding up eight fingers.
“And five less than eight…”
“Leaves three! He must live on the third floor.”
“It’s tractor time!” I say. It’s only when Noisemaker looks at us in confusion that I realise I’ve said it out loud. Oops.
“He’s working on a catchphrase.” Dr. O explains to Noisemaker.

~

One very VERY unsuccessful, extremely embarrassing catchphrase attempt later and we reach Jimmy jinx’s floor. Four doors. And Jimmy could live in any one of them. I turn around and jump when I spot a flash of pink.
“I’ll bet Tiny Dancer knows which door he lives behind.” I say.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t see me.” She says. Well she is standing behind a plant, but she’s also bright pink. Not very effective in the camouflage department I’m afraid.
“We’re looking for Jimmy jinx?” I say. Tiny Dancer comes out from behind the plant and declares that she will help but Only because she doesn’t like Jimmy at the moment because he didn’t seperate his recycling, and even though she’s a villain that doesn’t mean that they should be carless because we only have one planet. Fair enough. She gives us ANOTHER word problem, and we open it up to read. There are several moments of awkward silence whilst tiny dancer waits for the elevator, but eventually she leaves and Dr. O reads out the problem.

“Four doors, numbered 7, 8, 9, and 10. Door number eight belongs to Symmetric Al. Door number ten belongs to Shape Shifter. One less than door eight is Even Steven, and two more than Even Steven is Jimmy jinx’s apartment.”

Thats. A lot. Of words.

“Let’s use a number line.” I suggest. “It would help us keep track of the villains and their respective doors.” I pull out a tablet and bring up a number line.
“So Symmetric Al lives in apartment 8.” I say.
“And apartment 10 belongs to Shape Shifter.” Dr. O says.
“And one less than door 8, less than being subtraction, so door 7, is Even Steven”
“And two more than Even Steven is 9! Jimmy jinx lives in apartment number nine!” Dr. O says, giving me a high five.

We knock on the door, and sure enough, Jimmy opens it. We celebrate the moment he does, cheering and whooping and dancing about. Jimmy watches us with a bored expression, and we quickly compose ourselves.
“Do you guys want something?” He asks.
“Oh.” I say, embarrassed. “Almost forgot. Odd Squad has the jinx and we need your cube to fix it.”
Jimmy rolls his eyes and says, as though he’s said it twenty million times before,
“Here’s the thing. Im a villain! I don’t ‘help’ people.”
“Wait Jimmy!” I say. Maybe, just maybe, theres a chance we can get him on our side. “We were scared trying new things too. So we just stayed in HQ. But now, we’re out here, on the streets, solving a case, being brilliant!”
“The funny thing about fear,” Dr. O says, and I hope she’s picking up what I’ve put down, “is that it isn’t very funny. A wise doctor once said-“
“Here.” Jimmy jinx says, handing us a cube. I blink. “I have some English muffin pizzas in the oven and I felt like this was taking a while so…” he shuts the door in our faces.
“That was easy.” I say. I’m upset we couldn’t get him to join the good side, but oh well. We got the cube and that’s what really matters here.

~

We get back to HQ, fire up the cube and blast it at the assembled agents. They all bend slightly backwards as the bean of yellow light hits them.
“Yay, you did it!” They shout in unison.
“Uhh could we maybe… celebrate separately? So we know it worked?” I ask.
The assembled agents make varying (thankfully seperate) noises of celebration.
“Excellent work you two.” Ms. O says, smiling. “Now you can go back to your regular duties.”
“You know Ms. O,” Dr. O says, sharing a look with me, “I kinda like being out of the office.”
“Me too.” I say. “I wouldn’t mind doing it again, actually.”
“Ohhkay.” Ms. O says.

~

The next thing we know, we’re in the town park, running screaming away from a laser chicken.
“I DON’T THINK IM READY FOR THIS!” I shout.
“I THINK YOU FOUND YOUR CATCHPHRASE!” Dr. O shouts back.

Chapter 37: chapter thirty seven: kisses

Chapter Text

The next few months pass in a slow calm. Todd’s birthday passes in September, and the pumpkin plants are ready for halloween. Life inside HQ settles into a safe steady rhythm, by which I mean no one gets kidnapped or dies or anything. The only stand-out point is the villains acting more like a team, but they do this every few years, they to band together to become stronger, and it always flops, so no one is really worried. The nightmares still come, but less frequently, and I’m way more confident in my sexuality. Of course I still have bad days, there are some days where I don’t even want to admit I’m dating someone, but other days are better.

I wake up on the morning of October the thirtieth in a particularly festive, albeit rather sleepy mood. Halloween is the best night of the year. Ever. However, it is a Friday, so I can’t stay in bed forever. Todd, however, has other plans, and before I can fully get up, he’s latched his arms around my waist.
“Todd… I have work.”
“Noooo. Stay with me darling.”
“Todd. Come on.”
“Mmm, five more minutes.”
I’m fighting a losing battle, so I lie back down, but not before I call Oona and let her know I might be a few minutes late. She chuckles, and says she’ll let Ms. O know. I hang up the phone, place it on my nightstand and am immediately pulled into a tight hug.
“Whats wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing.”
“So why exactly do I have to stay?”
“You’re warm. And cute.” He says, planting a kiss on my cheek.
“Be as that may,” I say, smiling slowly, “I do have a job.”
“Yes. And today that job is to stay here and be warm and adorable with me.”
“No Todd, I really have to go…” I say, feeling around on my nightstand for my glasses. They’re not there.
“Todd, honey, did you steal my glasses?”
“No.” He says, just a beat too fast. He totally stole my glasses.
“Honey…”
“What?” He says, far too innocently. “What did I do?”
“Gimme my glasses I need to work.” I insist.
He sighs, hands me my glasses, and relinquishes, very slightly, his hold on me.
“Can I help you in the lab today? I have nothing to do in the garden, Oksana’s carving the pumpkins.”
“And thats why you don’t want me to go to work?”
“Mmm.”
“Okay… but we need to get up. Alright?”
“Hmmm, fine.” He sighs, and we slowly, slowly, get up and make our way to work.

~

At the end of the day I’m sitting up on the bench holding a gadget up and jiggling a screwdriver around trying to loosen the control panel, rather unsuccessfully, and Todd is sitting on the floor next to me, leaning his head on the lab bench next to my legs, which stops me from moving them around too much. When I can’t get the panel open, I pass it down to Todd, who takes one look at the tools I’m using and cackles hysterically.
“Hey darling?” He says through his laughter. “You uhh, you do know you’re using a Phillips head screwdriver for a Flathead screw?”
“I am?”
“Yup.” he says.
“Well. f*ck.” I say, taking the gadget back from him and rooting around in a drawer for a Flathead screwdriver. Moments later I’ve successfully unscrewed the control panel, and kicked Todd, (LIGHTLY), in the back of the head to get him to quit laughing at me.

We decide to walk home, to take in the sights and smells, the crispness of the air, the crunching of the leaves, the beauty of autumn. We walk briskly against the cool and the gathering dusk, hand in hand. Todd’s in a flirtatious mood,
“The autumnal air brings out the best in me, my darling,” and I’m doing my very best to ignore it. That is until he picks a tiny, perfect, lavender flower from someones garden, the last one on the bush, glances over at me, and then smiles, silently handing me the flower. I take it with a grin.
“Thanks.” I say. “Any particular reason or is it just your usual charming spontaneity?”
“Uhh… lavenders are… kinda a symbol of the gays and the lesbians. As are green carnations, and violets, and those have a lot less… negative connotations, but I dunno where to find those this late in the year, so lavender will have to do. Uh- if you don’t like it I can…”
“No, that's… that's really cute. Thank you!” I say, as we walk into the house. He’s picked the stem long enough that I can put it into a small vase, so I rifle through my cupboards for the smallest vase I have. Eventually I come up with a small bottle. Lovely. I fill it up with water, carefully place the tiny sprig of lavender inside, and gently place it on the windowsill.
“There. Lovely.” I say, smiling.
“Just like you.” Todd says, leaning his chin on my shoulder and wrapping his arms around me from behind.
“Oh, really?” I ask, blushing. “Are you saying that when you see lavender you think of me?”
“Of course not!” He gasps, pretending like he’s offended. “How dare you assume such awful things.” He mocks, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
“I would never.” I say, pulling out of his grasp and twirling around to face him.
“Are you quite sure, Agent Oscar?” This is the game we play, trying to get one of us to crack first when we flirt. But I have one or two tricks up my sleeves.
“Of course I am, Odd Todd.” I poke my tongue out at him. “But if you don’t believe me, why don’t you try and make me tell you the truth?” I taunt, flouncing away to the lounge room. Todd chases me, laughing. We end up on the couch, curled up together, and I’ve given up fighting off his kisses. Instead, I just giggle and tease him, blushing hard. And then, as he goes to peck my cheek again, I turn my head, and he accidentally kisses my lips.

We both freeze.
I blink.
Todd runs a hand through his hair.

“Oh um, my god. sh*t. I- oh my god, are you okay?” He asks. I just nod, lost for words. “Uhh I’m so sorry. I totally didn’t mean to kiss you and- and it was an accident, oh god.”
“Todd.” I say, gently. But he keeps rambling.
“And I know you, well, how you were bought up, and I- I didn’t want to kiss you before you wanted to kiss me, properly. And I- also know that I forced a kiss on you. And you- really didn’t like that. I- oh god I am so sorry Oscar.”
“Todd.” I say, more insistent.
“I just, it was an accident, and I really didn’t mean to and can you ever forgive me? I- I just- I am so sorry.”
“Todd!” I say, cupping his face in my hands. Gently, ever so gently, I kiss him. And its nothing more than just lips pressed to each other, clumsy, fleeting, and strange, not open mouthed and trying to eat each others faces like I’ve seen some grown-up couples do, but it feels like the world has stopped turning.
I pull away.
“It’s okay.” I say, wiping the tears away from his eyes. “It was nice. I’m not mad.”
“You, you’re not?” He asks.
“Nah. It’s all good.”
“Yeah?” He sniffs.
“Yeah.”
“Can I- can I kiss you again?” He asks.
“Yeah. If you want to.” I say, gently.
Todd breathes in and out, and gently leans in to press his lips to mine. I shut my eyes and his hand cups my cheek. I feel him smile against my mouth, and I let loose a small giggle. Which in turn makes Todd laugh, which ends our kiss, but I don’t think either of us cares very much. Or so I think until we both stop laughing and he kisses me again, light, brushing kisses, until my stomach growls and we both fall apart laughing again, and eventually we pull ourselves together enough to order takeout, if only to fall back together, my head on his lap, his hands running gently through my hair.

This is nice.

Chapter 38: Chapter thirty eight: halloween

Chapter Text

The next day we take the tubes into work together. Technically it’s not actually a work day, but the day I miss the Odd Squad halloween party is the day the world ends.

The whole squad is here it feels like, and the party is in full swing. I grin, peck Todd on the cheek, carefully avoiding his zombie makeup, flip my eyepatch down , and join in the festivities.

The one downside to Halloween parties at Odd Squad is the doubled risk of an odd creature or a villain in our midst, so the security team pulls out all the stops to make sure that today’s festivities go as smoothly as possible. So I go and check in on Owen and his security team, exchange pleasantries, put my name down for the 3-4:00 watch shift, and go to look for Ocean. That dude has got to have his hands full today, seriously if a creature got out today we might never catch it again. I poke my head into the creature room door. Ocean’s sitting in his hammock, reading a magazine, but he’s got one hand on a gadget that I recognise a cageinator. He’s got a sick-ass dragon costume on.
“Hey Ocean!” I say. “Cool costume dude!”
“Thanks Oscar! You sure you didn’t catch pirate-itis?” He asks, gesturing to my costume. I laugh and shake my head.
“You need a hand?” I ask.
“Nah man, I got this. I’ll yell if I need you.” I nod, smile, and back out, going for one last check, on todays tube operator. It’s O’ Donnell today, and she gives me a bright smile. I make sure she’s all set for any confrontation and then go to join the other scientists.

Halloween festivities at Odd Squad are the best, no arguments. And whilst I have yet to win the pumpkin carving contest, in fact, while anyone is yet to beat Oksana in the pumpkin carving contest, a lot of us still try.
“On your marks!” Ms. O says, holding up her purple handkerchief.
“Get set!” Those competing grab our carving tools, including Ms. O because that woman is Competitive with a capital ‘C.’
“GO!” She says, dropping her handkerchief. There’s immediately a flurry of movement. Oksana’s waiting out her five minute handicap. The rules to this contest are really very simple. Contestants have thirty minutes to create the best possible pumpkin carving that they can. The winner is decided from a squad wide vote, one vote per agent, and no voting for your own carving. The agent with the most votes wins. And Oksana ALWAYS wins.
When the time limit is over we all put our tools down and I glance over to Oksana’s table, and I swear to god I could pass out. The. Woman. Has. Carved. A. Dragon. Out. Of. A. Pumpkin. This is why she wins. Every year. I’m not upset, I’m impressed. But I walk around to all the other tables, give them all a look, laugh my head off at Oona’s pumpkin which is completely smashed, and she’s just drawn a smiley face on the biggest piece. But I end up giving my vote to Oksana because again, she carved a f*cking dragon. A few honourable mentions, however, must be made to Orchid and her stained glass-esque carving, O’Malleys depiction of the sword in the stone, (the man has just shoved his sword in the top of the pumpkin, which is ingenious.) and O’Roys rose carving.

After Oksana’s inevitable win, I mean, is anyone really surprised, we move on the the Odd Squad Zombie hunt. Three zombies are released into HQ, and the partners that catch one and bring it back win a grand prize. Ms. O discouraged any agents dressed as zombies from competing but Todd would not be put off. So we set off into the bowels of HQ , checking down every corridor and behind every door. The zombies could be anywhere in HQ, so we must be vigilant. As I check the box room, leaving Todd outside in the corridor on guard, I hear a scuffle. I poke my head outside the door to see Todd gone, but his voice shouting from further down the corridor 
“I’m not a zombie you slack-headed dung-brain! Let me go!” I sigh, roll my eyes, and run after the direction of his voice. To no one’s shock, or horror, it’s Ohlm who’s got his hands on Todd. I stifle a laugh and jog up to them.
“Hey Ohlm.” I say.
“It’s pronounced O-hlm” He says.
“Thats… great, uhh, you know that thats not a zombie, right? Thats, thats Todd, we’re partners.” I say, restraining a giggle.
“What? No it’s so obviously a zombie Oscar. I won’t let you steal my win.”
“I- no, you-“ I say, lost for words. Todd looks so obviously not like a real zombie that it’s kind of funny. But perhaps Ohlm hasn’t actually seen a real zombie. So, fighting the urge not to laugh, I explain exactly why Todd is very much not a zombie. Todd, however, has no such reservations, and has leant against the wall practically crying with laughter as I patiently explain to Ohlm the difference between Todd and an actual zombie. In the middle of my painstaking explanation to him, the horn sounds to let us know that all three actual zombies have been caught, so I leave off my explanation and pull Ohlm back to the bull pen, trusting Todd to follow us. Unfortunately, although I thought that the horn meant the end of this dilemma, I was very very wrong. When we make it to the bullpen, Ohlm grabs Todds wrist, who looks at me with a confused laugh, and pulls him up toward Ms. O.
“Ms. O!! Ms. O!!” He cries. “Ms. O, you must have miscounted the amount of zombies you let out, because I found another one!” Todd, in his artfully torn clothes and green makeup, looks very out of place next to the hunched, grey, extremely undead, zombies. Ms. O gives Ohlm and Todd one look, and then turns her her back momentarily, shaking. When she turns back to us it’s rather obvious she’s trying not to laugh.
“Very good Ohlm. Thanks for that. Uhh, you can sit down. Can someone take these zombies away?” She asks. As the zombies, plus Todd, are shepherded by her, she leans in to say something quietly to him. He nods, and walks silently away with the rest of the zombies. Pretty much the whole squad is either stifling giggles or outright laughing now, including myself.

Eventually, Todd comes to sit down next to me, laughing a little himself.
“You alright?” I whisper.
“Yeah, just glad my face is green so no one could see me blush. That was so weird.” He whispers back.
“Ms. O said something to you back there?” I ask. “Oh, by the way, sorry for laughing.”
“It’s all good. She was just apologising. Profusely.” He says. I snigg*r a little, and he flicks my arm.
“Sorry!” I giggle.
“I’ll get you back for this after work.” He hisses.
“What, no I tried to save you!” I protest.
“Not hard enough.” He smirks. I sigh, and turn my attention to Ms. O who has begun to address the winners of the costume contest. The prize for the best dressed solo goes to Ocean and his spectacular dragon costume. The prize for the best dressed partners goes to Olive and Otto, in a Beauty and the Beast costume. And the prize for best group costume goes to the tube operators who are dressed up as the Avengers facing Thanos. All deserving winners. I applaud each group, bid Todd farewell as disappears to go make sure the Halloween feast is all set up, and turn my attention to the troupe of witches, who perform a flying demonstration, and whip up several potions, all of which I make notes on because you never know what you might need in life.

~

Much, much later, having scoured the whole neighbourhood whilst trick-or-treating, being thoroughly exhausted and also on a sugar high, we crash on the couch, laughing.
“Good day?” I ask, when we’ve calmed down a bit.
“Good day.” Todd agrees.

Chapter 39: Chapter thirty nine: The calm and the storm

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

The first two weeks of November blur together pleasantly, a chill in the air and the first snowfall arriving, the nights getting longer, the days getting shorter. Todd’s just glad his Odd Squad garden is inside, or the cold and frost would kill his plants, and that he’s living with me because my gadgets are keeping his garden at our house alive. Todd says that it’s a talent, but I say it’s just an insulated tent that can retract into a small box and vice versa with the push of a button, and therefore no big deal. He insists it’s talent, and that if I didn’t have it, his poor Arugulas would be suffering, and every time he does so, I break into a one man rendition of Into The Woods. Most of the time this ends with a vegetable being thrown my way, and me poking my tongue out at him oh-so-elegantly, but he was the one who started it, so he can’t really be mad at me.

Life in HQ continues at a steady rhythm, like the calm breathing of a sleeping animal. Kind of. It’s odd squad, so realistically it’s anything BUT calm, but like, by our standards, it’s a sleeping-animal-breathing-in-a-steady-rhythm vibe. But danger lurks at the edge of the metaphorical clearing in which the Jackalope of Odd Squad precinct 13579 slumbers. The villains are stirring the pot, causing trouble, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Even now, the Jackalope is wary of full hibernation, keeping one eye cracked open and upon the dangerous Coyote of the villains, ready for fight or flight. Preferably fight because whilst Im not the most enthusiastic person when it comes to fighting, and I’d rather peace to war any day, I’d rather fight than lose Odd Squad. I’d rather fight than lose my friends, my livelihood, my boyfriend.
But for now, the Coyote lies still at the edge of the clearing, the Jackalope watches warily, and the forest goes about its day.

Unfortunately the longer nights don’t mean longer sleep in’s, so i’m still getting into work at 9:25, rather grumpily because it is disgusting to be getting up with the sun no matter what time it is, and leaving at 5:38 to be home at 5:39 on the dot, and again, getting home after the sun has set should be a crime, but we live in Toronto and its getting into winter, so realistically I can’t complain. Like at all. But on the upside, we have a cat now. It was rather spontaneous and involved a rather heated debate about how we definitely aren’t responsible enough for a pet. But she ‘followed’ Todd home and didn’t have a collar and wasn’t microchipped, believe me I checked, and Todd was rather emotionally attached to her. The only real problem was how to get the things needed to take care of a cat, but as Todd pointed out with infuriating accuracy, I, being a scientist, could just… make and or acquire supplies, and she is really rather cute. So we have a cat, and her name is Possum, and she is so cute and I love her very much, and she’s made me almost late for work too many times now but I honestly do not care because, because there is a fluffy adorable cat on my lap and the world is at peace.

~

One day, as I’m sitting on the floor of the lab, leaning against Todd and attempting to fix a gadget, but really not getting much done, because Todd’s playing with my hair and that’s holding quite a lot of my focus, there’s a faint thud and a hissing noise from above us.
“Did you hear that?” I say, sitting upright.
“Hear which?” Todd says, brow furrowed.
“Mmm- maybe I imagined it. but I swear theres a hissing noise somewhere.” I say, straining my ears for the noise.
“I think… no, you’re right! Todd says, sitting bolt upright now. He sniffs the air.
“What, what is it?” I ask.
“It’s like… sweet, but very pungent. It's coming from Ms. O’s office.”
“Like ether? Is it ether? If it smells like ether then its probably chloroform and if it is chloroform then we have a very big problem. Cover your nose and mouth and follow me!” I say, running out of the lab, lab coat pressed to my face. We dash up the metal steps in unison and slam into Ms. O’s glass doors at the top of their steps. I yank on the doors but they’re locked. And peering inside it looks like Ms. O and Oona have passed out.
“Oh f*ck.” I say. “Okay. You go get Dr. O, as well as Owen and his security team, and I’ll call for maintenance. Meet back here in five.”
“You got it. Be careful.” He says, and dashes off to the doctors office. I flip open my badge phone, fingers flying across the keys for maintenance’s phone number. They pick up within four rings, and in a rushed, vaguely muffled voice I explain the situation. They hang up immediately, which is really good. When maintenance hangs up mid call its means they’re on their way. Sure enough, they come sprinting in moments later, handkerchiefs tied over their faces.
“Oh thank god your guys came!” I start to say, but they rush past me and have the door open within seconds. Just saw they finish, Todd comes racing up, Owen and Dr. O in tow. I stand back as Dr. O and several nurses barge into Ms. O’s office and get Ms. O and Oona out of there.
“Are they gonna be okay?” I ask, anxiously. “
“They’ll be fine.” Dr. O says “But they need rest and you need to find out who did this!”
“She’s got a point.” Owen says, directing the security crew around the office. One of them gingerly picks up the empty husk of the canister the chloroform was contained in.
“Take it to the security department, we’ll test it.” Owen says, shining his flashlight around the room and into all the crevices. The security guard nods and runs off. Me and Todd are kinda just guarding the door. There’s a binging sound from behind Ms. O’s desk and everyone whirls around to see… absolutely nothing. We all go back to our assigned jobs, but there’s a tense unease in the air. Just as we’re all relaxing and about to call it a freak villain attack, a scream rips through the air from the bullpen. I rush to the railing to see the agents in a watertight circle around a small huddle of villains. One of the villains, Tommy Twosey, looks up toward me and scowls.

“You may have caught us this time, odd squad, but this is just the beginning!” he shouts. “Villains are banding together to bring you down! And we won’t stop until all of the odd squads are gone and the world is overrun with oddness!”
I roll my eyes, attempting nonchalance to hide my fear. It’s a very real threat. Villains aren’t stupid, they’re just adults. They could totally destroy us if they wanted to. But I don’t say that, I just scoff and say, “Yeah, sure Twosey. Lock ‘em up agents.”

~

When Ms. O wakes up we fill her in. She does an absolutely stellar job of keeping a calm facade, but it shatters the moment the security guards shut the doors behind them.
“Oh boy.” She says, collapsing into her chair. “This isn’t very good. Somebody juice me!” I scramble to get her a fruit juice. She gestures for me to take some for myself so I throw one to Oona, Todd, Olympia, Otis, Otto, and Olive, and grab one for myself. There’s several moments of silence, broken only by the sound of the eight of us sipping our juice boxes.
“So.” Olive says, finally, throwing her juice box into the bin, “what just happened?”
“5 villains made a very organised attack and deprived me of a fixed gadget. I thought that that was pretty bloody obvious.” I say, miffed.
“Yeah, but chloroform? I think they wanted to steal something.” Olive says. ‘Pia bites her lip and frowns. Otis chews the inside of his cheek, and Otto looks troubled. Ms. O just nods, like this makes perfect sense. I guess it kinda does, this office has a whole hell of a lot of valuable stuff in it. So.

“So.” ‘Pia says. “The villains lock Ms. O’s office doors, gas whoever’s inside, and then drop down from the roof to steal something in Ms. O’s office, but they land in the bullpen? That doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
“It doesn’t.” Otto muses. “Unless they weren’t stealing anything?”
“Like… a show of power?” Otis asks.
“Exactly like that. I think they gassed Ms. O and Oona just to show that they could. To get us to fear them.” ‘Pia says, with fearful determination.
“Oh.” Otis breathes.
“Yeah, Oh. I think something big is coming, something very very big, and the villains are going to make good on their threat to destroy odd squad.” Otto says, with a grim kind of finality. Olive swears under her breath, but Ms. O’s too busy throwing every curse word known to man, (and a couple i’m sure she made up) at the ceiling to notice.
“So… the villains really want to destroy Odd Squad? For good?” Oona asks.
“Yep.” Todd sighs. “And I have a horrid feeling they won’t take resistance lying down.”

Chapter 40: Chapter forty: Resistance

Chapter Text

The villains might not want to take resistance lying down but we weren’t about to take literally BEING DESTROYED lying down either. So we were at a tad bit of a stalemate. Kinda. To put it more plainly, we aren’t openly attacking the villains without cause, we’re just deflecting their increasingly frequent and harder to deal with attacks, which, unsurprisingly, is very much a full time job. Ms. O is exhausted, I think the security team is running on caffeine and spite, and the same can be said for the medical department, the maintenance crew, the scientists, poor Olo in the glue department, in fact, you could just generalise it and say that everyone is worked off their feet. Most people are in HQ pretty much 24/7 preventing break-in’s and evil plots, and it’s only been a week. Me and Todd are here so much that only a day and a half in we bought Possum into work so she wasn’t neglected, and the darling is doing an amazing job at keeping spirits higher and stress levels lower than they might otherwise be. The scientists are churning out new gadgets for all the oddness being created at a pace never seen before and when this is all over I’m scared of the caffeine withdrawal that most of the squad will go through, including myself. Todd and Oksana have taken on the rolls of ‘very forceful parental figures making sure every one gets enough food, drink, and sleep,’ and everyone learned to listen to them by day four, because oh my word those two can be bloody terrifying if they want to be, I’ve never been more scared of one woman with a food tray in my life, and sometimes I think I’m more scared of them than the villains. But then the villains do something really terrifying, like unleashing hundreds and hundreds of angry geese into the city and I remind myself that my boyfriend menacingly holding an insta-sleep gadget really isn’t that scary, and that I quite like sushi when I’m not being practically force-fed. Ms. O has formed partnerships with the O’s of the surrounding precincts, and the Toronto police department to help keep poor Toronto (which is really getting a battering,) safer than we could alone, and their help is very, very much appreciated by all.

By far the worst attack comes nine days in, and requires everyone’s help. Somehow, and no one is quite sure how, the villains conjured a magical storm. Or, more accurately, magical rain. And it’s CHAOS. The rain has a random transformative effect on anything it touches, unless the thing it touches is a by product of said magic rain. And it’s not a very small storm either. Nearly the whole of Toronto is affected. The downpour rain started in the very early hours of the morning and so far shows no signs of stopping. The sick bay is overflowing with hapless citizens who’ve turned into salad, or spaghetti, or goodness knows what else. And the effects on the city itself are just disastrous. New footage just keeps rolling in of the disasters. A car gets turned into a rampaging hippo. The town hall turns into a mound of biodegradable glitter that will never be fully cleared up. The local university turns into a giant ice block. The CN Tower disintegrates into hundreds and hundreds of turtles. It’s absolute madness. I mean really, I can take a one off predictable attack where all of Main Street is toast or something, but the sheer unpredictability of this blasted rain is doing my head in. It’s impossible to go out for any amount of time without being transformed into like, a walrus or something.
We know a few things about the rain. There seems to be a few… limits to its power. It cannot transform anything into anything bigger than about a rhino, or smaller than a mouse. No ones been changed into parts of things, or halves, or body parts or anything, not yet anyway, so we’re ruling that out for the moment. The ground seems to be immune, but nothing else, so short of tearing up the pavement and using that as an umbrella we’re very short on options regarding how to actually, you know, be useful. We just keep throwing sheets of material into the rain and hoping for the best. So far, no luck. Once upon a time I used to like Thursdays.

~

At about one in the afternoon the solution hits me like a ton of bricks.
“Holy sh*t.” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Oona! I need a socket wrench and seven different types of screwdrivers!” I yell, pulling out a hammer, a tiny cactus and the full script for The Umbrella Academy from a drawer.
“You got it boss!” She yells back.

An hour and a half later I’ve created the umbrella-bubble-gadget. Now all I have to do is hope to god that its immune to the rain because if its not then I am officially out of ideas. I clutch the gadget tight, push my glasses up my nose, give a jerky nod to Oona, and stride out into the tube lobby.
“Get me out there.” I say, stepping into the tube. Moments later I’m zooming through the earth, gadget held tightly, and then I’m outside in the torrential downpour in the park, having thrown a sheet of cardboard above me the second I was outside. It’s now a large, ungainly squid sitting on my head but it’s keeping me safe. I fire up the gadget as fast as possible, and a bright bloom of orange blossoms above me into the sky. The gadget shakes in my hands, but I keep it as steady as I possibly can. I pull the squid off my head with one hand and brace myself to be transformed into like, a terrarium or something. But nothing happens. I glance up. The shield works! But looking around, I can tell it’s not enough, not nearly enough. I’m protecting the park, and the few people who have been lucky enough to stay safe in said park. But the gadget needs to do more. There’s a whole Toronto out there that needs saving. I unclip my badge phone and call Oona.
“Sup boss.” She says.
“Oona. I need all the scientists and a multiplyinator. Town park. Stat. Bring Ms. O too. God knows we need her.” I hang up. Moments later several dozen scientists come out of the tubes, Oona in the lead, holding a multiplyinator, Ms. O bringing up the rear.
“Oh thank f*ck you guys made it.” I say, arm shaking from holding the gadget steady. “Multiply the gadget. Spread out, fire ‘em up. Cover Toronto. Whatever you do, do not let that shield drop. Ms. O, we gotta get agents out here. What we cover they fix. And above all, move fast, these things are energy consuming and we don’t wanna be out here longer than necessary. Come on, let’s go!” I’d clap my hands but im slightly preoccupied. You know, with the whole, ‘don’t let the forcefield drop’ thing. Very distracting.

Twenty minutes later we’ve got Toronto covered and (mostly) back to normal. There’s just one itty bitty problem. We can’t let the bubble drop, because it’s still raining, and I’m drained like you wouldn’t believe. My badge phone rings.
“Yello?” I say, putting it on speakerphone.
“Hey. Good news or bad news?” comes Olive’s voice.
“Uhhh, I could do with some good news?” I say, readjusting my arm.
“Good news, we caught some of the villains! Well… two villains. Lady Sunshine, and Rainbow Robin.”
“Okay?”
“Well, they were left outta this plot, and they felt sad because all the other weather villains were in on it. So they kinda sold them out but not really? The No Tattle Tale code came into effect, but we worked out that Weather Heather, Mr Lightning, and Ms Tornado are the ones behind all this.”
“I see. Okay, and the bad news?”
“We have no idea where they are or when they plan to let this up.”
“Oh sh*t.” I growl.
“Uhhh… this is probably a very bad time to tell you that there is other bad news.“
“What’s the other bad news?” I say, almost in tears.
“There is uh… minimal chance that you guys will be getting backup. We’re very very loaded over here.”
“Oh. Kay.” I sigh, throwing my head back. “Thanks Olive. Keep me posted.” I sigh. She hangs up.

I end up sinking down onto the grass below a tree and gaffer-taping my arm above my head to keep the gadget steady. It’s stating to get colder and darker, and there’s no sight nor sound of backup. My badge phone rings again, and I wearily pick it up.
“Yello?” I slur.
“Heeey Oscar.” Otto says, and he sounds as exhausted as I feel.
“Backup?” I sigh, cutting to the chase.
“Not yet buddy. But we’ve almost caught the villains responsible for this mess. Shouldn’t be long now.”
“Roger that.” I say, rubbing my hand over my eyes, and burying my chin in my winter jacket. It’s very cold. f*ck Toronto in the winter, f*ck the villains for doing this sh*t. In fact, that’s a good point. How the actual freaking f*ck is it RAINING when the temperature outside today IS IN THE NEGATIVES!?!! Well they are villains. And their job is ‘cause oddness.’ So I guess it’s fair. But I’d still like to call foul play. That’s physically impossible. Rain with temperature in the negatives is UNHEARD OF. And yet, here I am, hearing of it.

An hour later it’s dark. And cold. And still f*cking raining. At this point I’ve gaffer taped the gadget to my hand too, so my entire left arm is just stuck to a tree. My badge phone rings, and I chuck it on speakerphone before saying
“Unless it’s good news or you come baring hot beverages, blankets, or a portable fire, I don’t wanna hear it.”
“It’s good news.”
“Oh, hey Oona. Spill.”
“They got the villains. All three.”
“Does that mean this blasted rain is going to let up?”
“Unsure I’m afraid. They’re refusing to talk.”
“Oh bloody hell!” I say.
“Yup.”

It’s not until nine o’clock that night that the rain stops. The minute it’s safe to do so I rip the gaffer-tape off my arm and let the gadget drop. The protective umbrella drops, and I think people start cheering but I wouldn’t know because I immediately head back to HQ.
I land, weary and exhausted, in the tube lobby, followed by the other scientists who all look just as fatigued as I feel. The tube operator waves us through into the bull pen, where agents of all ages are sitting, looking exhausted but pleased. As we stumble in they break into applause, and it takes me a hot minute to register that it’s for us. I wearily accept several congratulations before a loud voice that I place as Oksana’s yells out, “Everyone MOVE these scientists need food and sleep now!”
Agents clear a path for Oksana and Todd, who shuffle us into the lab, which has been transformed into a makeshift pillow room, the others having been filled up. I collapse onto a big floor pillow thankfully and cover myself with a blanket. Food is bought for us, nice, piping hot bowls of chicken noodle soup, and we eat like we’re starving. Todd comes to sit next to me.
“You okay darling?” He asks in hushed tones.
“I’ve been better.” I reply, shivering a little.
“I’m not surprised. That was incredibly stupid and ridiculously brave. Don’t ever do that again, you scared me.” He says.
“I’m sorry.” I say.
I don’t know what he says back to me because I fall asleep.

Chapter 41: Chapter forty one: Out

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

For some unknown reason, my bed is really hard when I wake up, and the room is filled with an unpleasantly harsh white light. I shade my eyes and sit up, blinking. The sight of the lab covered in exhausted scientists curled on pillows jogs my memory, and I flop back down. An arm curls around my shoulders, but a glance behind me tells me it’s just Todd. He too is half asleep, and after checking my watch I get up and meander to the cafeteria. Oksana’s there, and she looks like she’s been up since lord knows when, so I tell her to go take a nap, promising I won’t let the bacon and eggs burn. I’m joined a few minutes later by Olive, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.
“Hey Oscar.” She yawns. “Alright?”
“I’ve been better.” I say, stifling a yawn myself.
“Fair enough. Is there much in the way of caffeine?” She asks, looking round. There’s a kettle and some instant coffee, as well as some teabags, by the fruit bowl so I point it out. As Olive makes herself a coffee, Todd wanders sleepily into the cafeteria and drapes himself over me like a living fur coat.
“‘Morning darling.” He mumbles.
“Good morning.” I respond, flipping the bacon. “You’re making my job rather hard love.”
“Don’t care. Cuddly boyfriend.”
“Cuddly boyfriend making sure that the breakfast for all the agents doesn’t burn.” I point out, just as Olive, cup of coffee in hand sidles up to us with a smirk on her face. I attempted to wriggle out from underneath Todd but my attempts are rather fruitless.
“Cuddly boyfriend?” Olive asks. I bite my tongue, and Todd tenses a bit. But he doesn’t get off, and his weight is comforting.
“Yeah…” I say.
“So… I take it you two are… kind of a thing then?”
I steel myself, and just focus on not burning the bacon. Todd undrapes himself from around me and gives me a look that says ‘do you wanna tell her?’ I shoot him a look that I hope conveys the message, ‘she basically knows. Might as well right?’ and follow it up with a small nod. After all, Olives smart, and she heard us talking, so she has totally worked things out. And Olive is a really good friend, so this is kind of the only secret I’ve kept from her in… years, I think. I want to tell her.

Olive coughs, interrupting my train of thought.
“You are, aren’t you.” She says. I nod my head silently.
“Congratulations.” Olive says “I’m proud of you.”
“Y-you are?” I say, taken aback. apart from Todd, only Ocean knows that I'm gay. Olives reaction is... nice. Todds’ taken over the breakfast.
“I am. I’ve suspected for a while, but thanks for telling me. I assume not many people know?”
“Yeah. Can you not tell anyone?” I ask
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Thats yours to tell. But Todd.” She says, and her voice goes hard. “If you even think about hurting Oscar, I will know, and I will make sure you regret it.”
“Okay Olive. On my honour as an ex-villain and scoundrel, I swear I will not hurt the one person who means more to me that anything in this life.” Todd says, laughing a little and re-draping himself over me. I stop breathing.
“You- what?” I get out.
"what?" Todd asks.
"you mean that?" I ask, blushing.
“yeah, I mean that.” He says.
“Oh my god you guys are disgustingly cute together. Im gonna leave before I throw up on the bacon.” Olive says, but she’s smiling.

Later in the day, (which is relatively quiet, which is terrifying) me and Todd are sitting in silence in the lab.
“You doing okay darling?” He asks, suddenly.
“Mmm? Yeah im good.” I say.
“Yeah? You just… I’m really proud of you for coming out to Olive.”
“Yeah… I mean, I guess it’s still new to me. You know, being gay, having a boyfriend, being okay with that, having other people be okay with that. But, you know, Olive's honest. She means what she says. And… you were there, so, it’s okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You make this a lot better.”
“Aww, stop it, you’ll make me blush.” Todd says, poking my side.
“Yeah, well thats not hard.” I snort, poking him back.
“Oh really?” He teases. “And how, my darling, do you propose to make me blush?”

By way of an answer I grab the front of his gardening apron and press a quick kiss to his cheek, before standing up and dashing out of the lab. His indignant shout of “Hey!” and his footfalls behind me makes me smile. I race through the endless corridors of doors, keeping a sharp ear out for Todd behind me. When I can no longer hear him I duck into a nearby room. It’s a rather pretty room, one of the ones that could be outdoors but isn’t. It’s a little forest glade, all dark greens and earthy tones, mystical and whimsical, like the Fae could live there. I check for their usual traps, and, seeing none, flop down on the grass, waiting. I don’t have to wait very long. The sound of careful footsteps in the corridor outside lets me know I’ve pretty much won. The footsteps stop outside the door. I press a hand to my mouth to stop my giggles. The door swings open and Todd strides in triumphantly.

“Found you!”
“You always do. You always get the things you want. You’re a very motivated person.” I say, matter of factly.
“What are you trying to say?”
“You always get the things you want, don’t you.” I repeat, teasing a bit. “And when I kissed you just now, all you wanted was to kiss me back. Don’t lie, it was, you chased me.”
“I-“ Todd starts to say, but he doesn’t get any further. I have successfully rendered him blushing and speechless.
“Ha! I win! You’re blushing!” I cry, triumphant. Todd just rolls his eyes.
“Fine, fine, you win.” He concedes. “But I don’t have to lead you on a wild goose chase around Headquarters to get you to blush.”
I go to make a smart remark but I’m quickly cut off by Todd shifting so he’s sitting right next to me and kissing me hard on the mouth. And because I was sitting with my arms folded across my chest I topple backwards and only just manage to catch myself on my elbows. When Todd pulls away my cheeks feel like they’re on fire.
“I think, I, win.” Todd smirks.

Chapter 42: Chapter forty two: problems

Chapter Text

Sunday brings an infestation of Spider-Cats, Skunk-Bats, and Robot princesses.
The spider cats and skunk bats are a quick fix, thanks to the good fortune of them always travelling in patterns, but robot princesses are unpredictable and can be deadly if you’re not careful. As it is there are several second-degree burns by the end of the day.
Ms. O has started floating around the idea of sending some of the younger agents home until we fix this, but it’s yet to be confirmed. I think it’s probably a good idea, but do that and we’ll lose half, maybe more, of our fighters in one fell swoop. And some of them, like Orchid or baby Orson we would be mad to send home, but if we make some go and others we let stay we might have an uproar on our hands. Ms. O’s just decided to leave that problem until it gets worse, and then I think the general consensus is ‘stay at your own risk.’ Although ’stay’ is perhaps an overstatement. Maybe a better term for it would be ‘be associated with Odd Squad at all at your own risk.’ Anyway, we’re waiting until something happens, no one’s quite sure what, before we make that call.

~

Monday comes, and tagging along with it come several dozen dancing buildings, which take most of the day to sort out, especially since there’s no immediately obvious pattern of attack. Theres also fifty-ish lemon-headed people which according to Todd is 'hilariously brilliant and it wasn’t him, but if he was still a villain he totally would’ve done that.’ We call upon Polly Graph and her world class lemonade to help fix it, and even then we still have a problem because Otto went and drank the pickle juice that the villains were selling and polly flat out refuses to make any, which is fair but means we have to buy like three different jars of pickles before he’s back to normal. And worst of all, a spate of thefts from the different departments that leaves everyone grumpy.

“I mean, what the hell do they need with my prize beetroots?”
“Really? My stethoscope?”
“That was a new baton!!”
“Not the ping pong balls!”
“They took the glue! I need that glue! Ms. O! I’m going out and I’m buying more glue!”

~

On Wednesday, the thefts make sense, because not twenty seconds after I get into work we’re overwhelmed by these weird creatures, living, breathing creatures, with heartbeats and everything, that are some kind of ping pong ball-beetroot-baton hybrid. And they spit glue. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen, and I can’t help but laugh. Until I’m glued to the lab wall that is, and then I stop.
“Hey Oscar.” Otto says, leaning against the wall next to me.
“Hey Otto.” I say.
“You need a hand?” He asks, nodding at me.
“Yeah.” I say, relieved.
“Okay. This is what we’re gonna do. Im gonna pull really really hard and it’s going to hurt like all hell, but that’s Olo’s quick dry glue, so it’ll get you out.”
“Okay.” I say, hesitantly.
“Okay. Don’t bite your tongue. On three, ready? One, two, three!” He says, pulling me off the wall with such force that I think he might’ve pulled my shoulder out of its socket. I scream, probably louder than I should but oh my word that HURT.
“You okay?” Otto asks.
“Yep.” I whimper. “Just peachy.”
“Good. Because this isn’t over yet.”
We charge into the fray

~

On Thursday the world is a musical instrument. Literally. Noisemaker has made it so the ground makes varying musical sounds wherever you step, like those piano mats that toddlers play with. It’s fun for a little bit but after a time it gets tedious and annoying and nine out of ten people in HQ have headaches, and those that don’t we’ve officially dubbed ‘the lucky ones.’ Dr. O has started handing out earmuffs, and baby Orson played a recreation of the alphabet song that would’ve bought Mozart himself to tears it was that beautiful. But alas, sacrifices must be made, and we return the world to its usual, peaceful self by lunchtime. And then, right as I’m going to eat my lunch, disaster strikes.

“They stole the tube map.”
“They did what now?” Olive cries.
“Dear god why??” Otto whines. I just flop sideways into the couch, internally bemoaning the loss of my pizza.
“The villains, they got their hands on the tube map. They’re having a rock paper scissors competition today to figure out who wins it.” Ms. O says. “Olive, you’re the best R-P-S player on the squad. We need you to pretend to be one of the villains and win back that map.”
“Okay.” Olive says. “I’ll do it. Who am I pretending to be?”
Ms. O clicks a button on her pointer and a picture of a villain flashes up on the screen.
“No, I cant, I won’t! Anyone but her!” Olive says, backing away from Ms. O.

Chapter 43: Chapter forty three: Undercover Olive

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER

Of course, Olive does indeed end up dressing up and pretending to be Kooky Clown, but it’s fair to say she is not very happy about it.
“I hate you all. I really, really very strongly dislike, every single one of you.” She says.
“Thats great olive. Now come on. Who are you?” Otto says, patiently.
“Kooky clown.” She sighs.
“And what do you want?”
“To make the world more kooky.”
“Okay, and the laugh?”
Olive gives a half hearted imitation of Kooky Clowns laugh.
“Oh come on.” Otto encourages.
“Fine!” Olive growls, and then proceeds to perfectly imitate Kooky Clowns’ laugh.
“She’s ready.” I say, pulling out a small camera disguised as a flower. “Okay Olive. This flower cam will let us see what you see. And here is how we’ll communicate.” I continue, passing her a small earpiece.
“Okay, but what are you gonna talk to me about?” She asks, fitting the earpiece in her ear. “It’s not like you can read the villains minds.”
“Well that is where you’re wrong.” I smile. Otto grins at me.
“I knew you could read minds.” He says.
“I can’t read minds.” I correct. “But I have tonnes of videos of villains playing rock paper scissors. Otto and I will look at the footage, search for patterns, and make predictions on what the bad guys will play. And if anything goes wrong, Agent Orson will get us out. He’s an excellent driver.”
With that reassurance, Olive hops out of the ice cream van and heads into the warehouse where the tournament is taking place.

~

The place is swarming with villains. Otto keeps up a steady stream of encouragements as Olive mingles amongst them while I religiously scan the videos of the villains playing rock paper scissors. It’s scary how many villains are there. I have to keep reminding myself that Olive will be fine, and that I’m safe in this ice cream truck. Then, Shapeshifter, who seems to have taken up the role of leader of the villains since Todd left, walks up to Olive.

“Im surprised you showed Kooky.” She says. “I heard you were feeling funny.” Shapeshifter squints at Olive suspiciously for an uncomfortable amount of time. Finally she speaks again.
“Somethings different about you.” She says, and I freak out. Otto shares my panic.
“She knows it’s Olive! Get her out!” Otto says, sharply.
“We can’t! Orson’s on his lunch break!” I practically shout back. I speak into my headset. “Olive. You have to convince her that you’re Kooky!”
Olive stutters, frozen for a terrifying moment, and then, in a stroke of utter genius, hands Shapeshifter a towel, and immediately douses her with water.
For a moment I worry that will only make Shapeshifter mad, but she merely wipes the water out of her eyes, and says, 
“Hi Kooky!”
I breathe a sigh of relief and instruct Olive to start mingling with the other villains.

“Attention!” Shouts a man with a black moustache and black hair in a referee’s uniform. “Gather round villains! Tonight, you will be competing for the Odd Squad Tube Map!!” There’s cheering and applause from the assembled villains.
“Shapeshifter if you would, the rules?” He says, backing out of the spotlight to make way for shapeshifter, who comes into the ring.
“It’s simple. Rock smashes scissors.” She says, transforming one of her hands into each object and bringing them together. “Paper covers rock.” She repeats the action, this time with a sheep of paper and a rock. “And scissors cut paper.” She sifts her hands into scissors and paper and cuts the paper in half. I'm left wondering how exactly that works because didn’t she just cut her own hand in half? I brush it off as moustache dude, who my sources tell me is Evil Referee, announces who will be playing who. We listen in intently and soon learn that Olive is playing Fladdam. I bring up the tapes.

~

Five minutes of watching Fladdam play rock paper scissors thirty times later, we’re in the ring. Well, Olive is in the ring. It’s time to put out knowledge to good use. Evil referee gives Olive and Fladdam a minute to stretch or psych themselves up, and Otto and I start talking the second Olive asks us what we’ve got.
“Well.” I begin. “We watched Fladdam play thirty games of rock paper scissors and tallied up the results. Otto?” I prompt. Otto takes over.
“Fladdam played rock one, two, three, four times. He played scissors one, two, three, four times. BUT he played paper five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two times!”
“Right, so Fladdam threw paper the most, so its very likely he’ll throw paper again. So you need to throw scissors to beat him.”
As I finish talking there’s a sharp whistle, and Olive turns to face Fladdam.
“Okay.” Evil referee says. “I want I nice clean fight. You either play rock paper or scissors. None of that dynamite business. Ready? Set! Throw!”
Sure enough, Fladdam throws paper, only to be cruelly defeated by Olives scissors.
But mid-celebration, Fladdam throws a hissy-fit and almost flattens Olive! Jellybean Joe and Even Steven rush into the ring to hold him back. Noisemaker jumps the ropes too and hold up his hands in placating gesture.
“Hey, hey, guys! It’s okay.” Noisemaker says. “Kooky! Make him a ballon animal, yeah? Cheer him up!”
Olive stutters, pulls out a balloon, attempts to blow it up, fails miserably, and halfheartedly hands it to Fladdam.
“It’s a snake. It’s sleeping.” She says, and dashes off. Otto and I exchange glances of utter relief mixed with gut wrenching terror.

~

After lunch, we return to the game. There’s only eight villains left in the fight, so the odds are significantly better for Olive’s victory.
After three intense fights Olive goes up against Even Steven.
“Okay, what’ll he throw?” Olive asks.
“We were looking at the data and it looks like he’ll throw-“ I’m cut off by a banging on the side of the truck. I check the security tapes, and Fladdam is standing right outside the truck!!
“He knows its us! We’re busted!!” Otto panics. I start hyperventilating, and then Fladdam says,

“Hey are you open?”
“I- I think he just wants ice-cream.” I say. Perhaps our disguise worked a mite too well, although why anyone wants ice cream when it’s November is a mystery to me.
“Hang in there Olive. We’ll be right back.”

As fast as we can we get dressed in the emergency ice-cream seller costume, with my arm as the left arm, Otto’s arm as the other, and Orson as the head. I slide the window open.
“What would you like to have Flad- uh, I mean sir.” I say.
“Give me an ice-cream sandwich.” Fladdam says.
“Coming right up!” Otto says. “Okay so we get the bread, theres the bread.”
“Uhh, and a scoop of ice cream I say, hoping to land the scoop full of ice-cream on the bread. I think I get some on Orson’s face, but I persevere. Otto hands him the bread and we slide the window shut. As we frantically worm out of the costume we hear Fladdam saying
“Finally! Somebody got my order right! Hah!”

We rush back to helping Olive, who sounds very desperate.
“Okay, so.” Otto starts. “He threw rock, five, ten times. Paper, five times, and scissors five, ten, fifteen, twenty times. So you gotta throw rock to beat him.”
Olive turns to face Even Steven.
“Ready? Set! Throw!” Evil referee says. They both play. And the unthinkable happens. Even Steven throws rock too! Olive starts, sounding just as shocked as Otto looks.
“Hang on Olive.” I say.
“You said he’d throw scissors!” Otto accuses.
“I said it was more likely! There was always the chance that he’s throw paper or rock!”
“Well what do I do?” Olive hisses.
“Well, Even Steven is still more likely to throw scissors” I say.
“But what if your prediction is wrong again?” Otto asks. I slam my hand down on the bench.
“Don’t you get it man!” I cry. “My prediction is all we’ve got! Stick to the plan Olive.”
They play again, and thankfully, Even Steven throws scissors. Olive wins, and she’s on to the semi finals.

~

First, Tiny Dancer plays Shapeshifter, and loses. Scissors cut paper. She’s gracious in her defeat though. And then Olive plays Symmetric Al. we finish out calculations just in time, and as they’re about to throw I get out,
“Olive throw rock!”
And we win the semi finals. Now it’s just Shapeshifter standing the way of us and that tube map.

~

“Final round!” Evil referee says.“Shapeshifter versus Kooky Clown!! Whoever wins this, wins the map!” In other words, get this prediction the f*ck right. b=But we have a problem. We get our customary warm up minute, and I give Olive the bad news.
“We just watched Shapeshifter play thirty games of rock paper scissors.”
“She threw rock ten times, paper ten times and scissors ten times!” Otto says.
“She threw each move an equal amount of times. She’s not more or less likely to throw any of them.” I continue. “We cant make a prediction.”
“I just have to guess?!” Olive asks, but I cant respond because Evil referee blows his whistle and it’s showtime.

“Ready? Set! Throw!” He calls. They both throw rock. It’s a tie, and they rematch immediately.

“Ready? Set! Throw!” They both throw paper, another tie.

“You’re going down, clown!” Shapeshifter sneers. Meanwhile, I'm moping about how the fate of odd squad will come down to a lucky throw, when Otto gets a brainwave so big you could surf on it.
“Olive, stall!” He says, and Olive pulls off a very convincing hand cramp, earning us an extra sixty seconds.
“Whatever it is Otto,” Olive whispers, “hurry.”
“Okay. So Shapeshifter threw rock paper and scissors an equal amount of times. And she just threw rock, then paper, but she hasn’t thrown scissors yet!” The whistle blows, and Otto rushes on.
“Thats eleven rock, eleven paper, but only ten scissors.”
What Otto’s implying dawns on me too.
“Which means she’ll throw scissors next to make them all equal!” I say, as Evil Referee says
“Ready! Set! Throw!”
As Olive and Shapeshifters arms go up, me and Otto cry out in unison,
“OLIVE, THROW ROCK!”

She does, and Shapeshifter throws scissors. I can hardly believe my eyes. We won! We got the tube map back! We did it!
“Rock smashes scissors!” Olive says, triumphantly.
“Kooky wins the map!” Evil referee says, handing Olive the map. A bell dings. Shapeshifter growls in frustration and me and Otto jump up and start celebrating. Perhaps a bit too loudly, because the next thing we know, everything’s gone to sh*t. Olive is standing in the ring, with her wig being held triumphantly by Shapeshifter.
“Uh oh.” I say. We spring into action.

~

The next few minutes are a blur, and by the time we back through the wall off the warehouse the comp was held in, which gives way like string, I mean, come on, give a thought to structural integrity, people, Olive is surrounded. Me and Otto step out, loaded with ice cream ammunition, and Olive scrambles to join us.
“I scream…” Otto starts.
“You scream…” I continue.
“We all scream…” Olive says, taking some of my ammo.
“FOR ICE CREAM!” We finish in union, and start hurling the ice cream at the villains with all our might. They back off yelping in dismay. Puppet Master, Tiny Dancer, Jellybean Joe, Noisemaker, in fact, almost all of the villains there fall to the ground in a cold, sweet, sugary mess.
“Nice job guys.” Olive says.
But we missed Shapeshifter, who come’s in from the side and snatches the tube map.
“Nice job me!” She taunts. “I've got the tube map, and you are all out of ice cream.” Olive scowls. But Otto has a plan.
“We are. But he’s not.” he says, turning to reveal agent Orson, duct taped in securely with a banana split sundae ready for launch. The dessert flies across the room and hits Shapeshifter square in the face. She topples like a bowling pin. Olive snatches up the map and oh so elegantly pokes her tongue out at Shapeshifter
“Thanks Orson.” Olive says.
“Give the man his badge.” Otto says.
I give Orson his dummy, and clamber back into the ice cream truck.

As we’re about to close the door, Shapeshifter yells from her place on the floor,
“This isn’t over odd squad, do you hear!? This means WAR!”

Chapter 44: Chapter Forty four: How To Start A War In Five Easy Steps

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

Step one: Threaten a war and then do nothing about it long enough to make your opponent lose their minds with anxiety

~

“So we’ve been waiting for this to escalate for how long? Olympia?” Ms. O asks, sitting down heavily on her chair and shoving a straw into the top of a juice box.
“Two weeks, three days, six hours, twenty three minutes and thirty… eight seconds.” ‘Pia says, not looking up from her notebook.
“Has Odd Squad ever been this quiet?”Otto asks from his spot on the floor.
“Nah, I don’t think so. Certainly not for centuries.” Oona says, stealing a sip of Ms. O’s juice. Todd’s curled up next to me on the couch, only moving to occasionally grab a lolly from the big bowl on the coffee table, but otherwise stays comfortably nestled closer than is strictly necessary, but I’m not complaining. Olive’s sitting next to Otto and Otis on the floor, and Oona’s made herself quite comfortable on Ms. O’s desk. Us eight are the very unofficial war council of Odd Squad.
“So do we know what’s going on here like, at all? Why on earth would they threaten a war, and then, right when they could start a war with all the oddness they were causing, they just… completely stopped. Why?” Olive asks.
Todd and Otis exchange a hesitant look and Ms. O picks up on it.
“Well what do our resident experts have to say on the subject?” She asks. Todd and Otis share a loaded look, and Otis speaks.
“There is one possibility. And it is not a very good one. They could be changing the rule book. That usually takes about two weeks, what with voting processes and such. What rule they are changing is beyond us, but whatever rule it is, be assured that it is not good news for us.” He rips the head off a red frog and gestures for Todd to continue.
“Yeah. That- that pretty much sums it up.” Todd says. “Whatever they do, you can be sure as hell that they won’t be making it harder for them to declare war on us.”

~

Step two: Change the rules

~

So the villains do end up changing the rule book. Huzzah. Woo hoo. Cheering sounds.
They haven’t allowed deaths, which everyone is more relived about than I care to mention, but they’ve added and revised a whole heap of rules, including revising the no-tattle tale rule so that now even clues are out of order, and a rule that says that any villain past or present must swear allegiance to the head villain or face judgement. Which means that now Otis and Todd have actual f*cking bounties on their heads, which essentially means we just lost two really good fighters. Also any agents above the ages of ten (not biologically speaking or that’d include agent Orson) are considered ‘high level threats’ and the villains have permission to use force and even, and this is the truly terrifying part, to maim.

“They can’t do this!!” Todd says, in outrage. “We’re just kids and the amount of- what did Ocean call it?” He asks me.
“Irreversible physcological damage.” I finish, clutching my lab coat tight and breathing hard. Why, oh why did they have to say that? I grip the arm of the couch HARD to ground myself. Todd gently touches his hand to my shoulder and I curl into his side reflexively. He is my rock, my calm amongst the storm of my mind. He curls his arm around me and mutters,
“It’s okay. It’s alright. It’s over. I’ve got you. It’s alright now. You’re safe.”
No one is anymore pleased about this than we are. Most of the ‘war council’ look ready to kill, bar Otis, whose expression I can’t read, and Ms. O, who looks ready to commit several war crimes.
“We have to start sending people home.” ‘Pia says, leaning her head in her hands. “Or giving them the option to leave, if they want to.”
“We’d lose half our good fighters.” Olive states, ever practical.
“We’ll wait until they declare war, properly.” Ms. O sighs. “I’m calling The Big O for advice. Dismissed.”

~

Step three: Launch an attack when morale is at an all time low

~

As it turns out, The Big O is slightly busy with a problem in the underwater devision of Odd Squad. Atlantis is in great peril so he’s away indefinitely. Morale around HQ is definitely low, and would be so much lower if Ocean hadn’t started walking around with armfuls of those cute and cuddly stress absorbent creatures, and of course Possum just wanders around being adorable and generally amazing. Thanks to a hard afternoons work from some junior scientists, beds now appear at the push of a button so you can sleep comfortably in HQ. Pretty much all agents are here 24/7, but we’ve given up on paperwork because, as Oona so rightly put it, 
“If you’re doing paperwork in the middle of a war, you’re doing something really really wrong, and you’ll probably lose.”

~

Of course, because spirits are disheartened, the villains launch an attack. Why wouldn’t they!?!
“I cannot take anymore of this!” Orchid yells, storming into the bullpen.
“I think she’s mad about something.” Oona says, leaning on the lab bench, completely desensitised.
“Really?” I ask, sarcastically. “I thought it was someones birthday.”
“Do you wanna know what those Shermans did!?” Orchid screeches. “Well too bad cause I’m telling you anyway!! They dropped a STACK of giant pancakes over our precinct! A whole precinct, covered in a GINORMOUS PANCAKE STACK!!! And that’s not all those Sherman’s did, oh no! They covered all of Toronto in a gigantic English breakfast! Precinct 13578 is swimming in huge baked beans! Precinct 13580 is covered in enormous fried eggs!! Some Shermans have gotta get out there and fix that problem, and I’ll be leading the charge!! Oscar we need breakfast removing gadgets, STAT!!”
I pass out gadgets like the world depends it. And I’ll be honest, it kinda does.

Needless to say, that attack does nothing to boost the overall mood. I’m sleeping less and more restlessly, the nightmares coming back again. I’m less comfortable with myself more often, which means that nine times out of ten you can find me holding a destress creatures, and the remaining ten percent of the time trying (and more often than not failing) to sleep.

~

Step four: Hire a news crew and make a public declaration of war

~

After waking in the early hours of the morning in a cold sweat, just days before Christmas, alone and failing to to fall back asleep, I wander sleepily up to Ms. O’s office, which is still emanating a warm soft glow. I shuffle inside and find Ms. O scouring a stack of manila folders at least a foot high. “Oh, hey Oscar.” She whispers, tipping her head pointedly to where Oona is sleeping.
“Hey Ms. O.” I mutter.
“Trouble sleeping?” She asks. I nod.
“Yeah. How’d you know?”
“You’re not the first. Wanna talk about anything?” She smiles. I shake my head. “Well then, help me with these villain reports. And feel free to ask me anything you want.”

I pull up a chair and look through several files before I realise that I do want to ask Ms. O something.
“Hey, Ms. O?” I ask, putting down the folder I’m holding.
“Yeah?” She responds, adjusting the reading glasses I forgot she wore sometimes.
“You- you’re like, really old, right?
“Yes… if this is a question about how old I am, I’ll never tell.”
“I know, I just… well, when you realised you liked girls, that can’t have gone down too well. Cause like, being gay wasn’t exactly accepted back then right?”
“Not very, no. I think I had already been in Odd Squad for a while before I realised. And certainly I didn’t tell anyone for ages. O’ Donahue was the first to know. He was really chill about it. But I knew for a very long time before that. Is this because you’re having trouble with your sexuality?”
“Mmhhmm. I think the lack of sleep is getting to me and I guess I... wanted to know how you cope?”
“Well… I’m very confident in my sexuality now, but I’ve had a lot of time to grow that confident, and I wasn’t always. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who care about you and support you. Don’t push them away. And maybe get more sleep. I’ll talk to Dr. O and Ocean to see if they can sort something out for you, yeah?”
“I’d like that.”
“Have you told Todd about this?”
“Ahh, no, not yet.” I shrug.

“Speaking of the devil.” Comes Todd’s tired voice. “Wondered where you were. What are we telling me?”
“Uhh… the, the lack of sleep’s been getting to me. I’m not doing too great with my sexuality.” I say, turning to face him.
“Ohhh. Oh darling.” Todd says, walking into the room and wrapping his arms around me. “Are you okay? Do you need anything? Do you want to take a break from us?” He asks, and I start.
“What?” I whisper as loud as I dare. “Have you lost your mind? You make all of this better. If I lost you I don’t know what I’d do with myself.”
Todd chuckles.
“Okay then darling.”
“Don’t let go?”
“I promise.”

Neither of us wants to go back to sleep, so we stay in Ms. O’s office helping her with research. Oona joins us at about 4 am, and for just a few hours it’s easy to forget the threat of war, laughing together. Until an alarm on Ms. O’s desk beeps, and she sighs.
“6:00 news. What new storm have the villains bought upon us this fine winter solstice?”

Turns out, quite a big one.

The very first segment brings the news reader smiling nervously.
“Well ladies and gentlemen welcome to the six o’ clock news. A terrifying special announcement from the villains this morning. Barb Lababoubou brings you the full story.
“Thanks Jerry.” Barb smiles. “Well, as the citizens of Toronto will be well aware, the villains that Odd Squad keeps under control have been redoubling their efforts in a rather sporadic although frankly quite dangerously odd series of attacks. For the past two and a half weeks however, the villains seemed to forget to be odd. Many believed this was the end of their reign of terror, however the gigantic english breakfast across Toronto yesterday proved everyone wrong. Today I’m here with the leader of the villains, Shapeshifter, who has a special announcement for Odd Squad.” The camera pans to Shapeshifter, who sneers and snatches the mic from Barb.
“Thank you for that flattering introduction Barb, but Im not the leader, I’m just the lieutenant. Anyway, Odd Squad, listen up! Let it be known that on this day, at this hour, the villains of Toronto are officially declaring war on Precinct 13579. That is all.”
The camera pans back to Barb, who looks ready to pass out.
“Well folks you heard it here first. The villains have officially declared war on Odd Squad Precinct 13579. How will the Squad respond to this terrible news? We’ll keep you posted. I’ve been Barb Lababoubou, back to you Jerry.”

~

Step five: CONGRATULATIONS! You just started a war with a bunch of sleep deprived underage kids, most of whom aren’t biologically kids anymore, but no one cares about that sh*t, so I really hope you’re proud of yourselves.

Chapter 45: Chapter forty five: *Explicatives*

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

“So.” Olive says, surveying Ms. O’s office with a displeased scowl. To be fair, the rest of us aren’t much happier either. As soon as Barb had signed off Ms. O called for the war council, which I guess is a proper war council now and will therefore probably need a tad bit more diversity regarding the different departments, to meet in her office.

“First order of business. If shapeshifter isn’t the boss, who the hell is??” Olive asks. We all shake our heads and shrug our shoulders, dumbfounded.
“Probably a new or undocumented villain.” Is all the insight Otis and Todd can give us.
“Remind me why I didn’t join the Girl Scouts?” Olympia wails, flinging herself backwards into the couch. I shrug.

“Okay. Second order of business, what the bloody hell do we do now??” Olive asks.
That gets us talking, spouting ideas which range from ‘tell the villains to f*ck off we aren’t risking the precinct because of some stupid power spat’ to ‘march up to Shapeshifter with an Uno Reverse card and declare war on them.’ Eventually the chatter dies out and Ms. O clears her throat.
“It seems to me like there is only one sensible option.”
“Expanding the war council?” Otis asks
“That too. I believe that what we have to do is… accept this war. Not openly. But we must prepare. Arm ourselves. Their first attack could be at any-“

CRASH!!

“f*cking hell!” Ms. O shouts, racing out onto her balcony, the seven of us hot on her heels. It’s pandemonium. The bullpen is full of agents and villains alike. Many agents are half dressed, pulling on suits over their pyjamas as they blast villains with gadgets. The eight of us on the balcony share a look and then plunge into the fray, sliding down the slide, running down the steps, Ms. O full on jumps the railing, lands, rolls and comes up firing. I wade into the chaos, firing on instinct at anything that isn’t navy blue, purple, or white. Turns out though, half a night of restless sleep does nothing for the energy game. I’m drained within the first few minutes and the battling crowd isn’t getting any thinner. I keep firing, and thank my stars that I play laser tag regularly. My aim is pretty near perfect, and I’ll only very occasionally hit an agent. At one point I back up and slam into another agent.
“Lovely day for a battle, huh?” I yell over my shoulder.
“Oh yeah, just spectacular!” They bawl back at me. We stand like that for a bit, turning in circles and firing at villains, exchanging pleasantries in raised voices. I learn that their name is Orly, and that he’s only been in the force for a few weeks with his partner Oletta. I wince a bit at that. Real terrible time to join, but I congratulate Orly on his bravery, zap down six villains in quick succession, and then dash off to kick Circle Sue in the back of the knees before she can turn Oakley and Oaklee into circles. I miss the back of her knees and kick her calves, but the effect is still the same. She’s covered in silly string the second she turns to face me, and then blasted so she’s duct-taped to the wall. I’d take a bow but I’m a tad busy kicking the absolute hell out of Tommy Twosey’s ass, and trying not to get hit by anything myself.

Most of the rest of the fight passes in a blur. I don’t even remember how I acquired the bloody nose I’m sporting when the villains finally retreat and the agents can breathe. I think we just won the first battle of this war? Which would be so much more exhilarating if maybe it didn’t come at 7:30 in the morning and last until like, eleven am. I recall racing through the corridors, gadget in hand, battling a villain whose face I don’t remember. I remember fighting in a tight knot with six or seven other agents, surrounded by a circle of villains. I remember being curled in a small ball on the floor as a nameless agent in blue stood over me, firing recklessly. I remember advancing steadily, firing relentlessly at the villains as they backed up, and finally Shapeshifter giving the retreat. I don’t remember much else.

I press a clump of tissues to my bleeding nose and wrap my blanket closer around me, shivering. Todd scoots into my side and smiles weakly at me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. He’s limping, but seems otherwise fine.
“Hey. Are you okay?” He asks, wiping away the blood from under my lip.
“Breathless and shaken but still breathing.” I shiver. “We should make sure that-that everyone’s okay.”
“Dr. O and her assistants have that covered. You need sleep. I’m finding the cat and a quiet corner, and we are going to bed.”
“But- but they might need our help.”
“If they need us, they can find us. Come on.”
I reluctantly let Todd lead me to a quiet corner of HQ and fall into a bed with him. He wraps his arms around me, and I cuddle into him. It’s been a while since we’ve slept in the same bed, the pressures of work and, newly, war keeping our schedules seperate, but I snuggle into him, and he tucks me under his chin. I fall asleep in moments.

Chapter 46: Chapter forty six: Morning haze

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

We wake up slowly, entangled in each others arms.
“G’morning m-my darling.” Todd yawns.
“Mmm… not time to get up.” I sigh, curling in closer.
“Yeah. You’re right.” Todd says, wrapping his arms tighter around me. I wriggle my way upwards through his arms and Todd presses a light kiss to my nose. I giggle, and he does it again. I kiss his cheek, and I am ridiculously happy for it being, well, the start of a war, but I’m actively choosing not to dwell upon that right now.

“I really like you, you know.” Todd mutters.
“Yeah?” I prompt, yawning.
“Yeah. You’re smart, and cool, and an endearingly clumsy mess.”
“Well, you’re not so bad yourself.” I say, trying for a kind of high-and-mighty tone, and I’d love to say I succeeded but that sort of tone really doesn’t come easily when you’re half asleep and blushing.
“Im sure I’m not. After all, you’re dating me, so I can’t be that bad, right?” Todd smirks a little. I shift in his arms so I can steal more of the blanket and hide my (probably very obvious) blush. Todd grumbles a little as I tug the blanket over my shoulders, but makes no attempt to steal it back, so I assume I’ve won. Until he moves to pick something up from the end of the bed, and moments later I’m hit lightly on the nose by a small fluffy paw. I sit up to rescue Possum from being used as a defence mechanism, and almost immediately lose most of the blanket.

“Really? Using Possum as a retaliation weapon? How low can you get?” I ask, putting Possum on the ground and zapping her food bowl into existence.
“It’s not low, it’s tactics.” Todd says, slightly muffled from under the blankets.
“Ah I see, so thats how we win this war. Just use our cat as a distraction.”
“Yeah, sure, I can totally see that working with no flaws whatsoever.” Todd responds, voice oozing sarcasm. I roll my eyes and poke him in the side until he relinquishes some of the blanket, laughing and slapping my hand away.
“Thank you.” I smirk, pulling the blanket over my legs and leaning back against the headboard. Todd wriggles upward and leans his head against my shoulder. We sigh in unison. Possum jumps up and settles on the end of the bed and purrs.

We stay that way for a while, breathing in tandem, avoiding the world, which is quiet enough, with only the occasional rumble of voices or soft tread of footsteps. Eventually, Todd talks.
“Are you scared?” He asks, slowly. I take a moment to think my answer over.
“Yeah.” I say, finally. “Are you?”
“Petrified.” He whispers.
“I wish we didn’t have to be a part of this. And I really, really hate the villains for making… well… THAT rule.” I mutter. I don’t elaborate, but I have no need to. We both know what I mean. I rub my right thumb vigorously over the scars on my left arm. Todd gingerly touches a hand to his chest where the villains broke his ribs.
“The other agents-“ Todd starts, but his voice cracks and he turns his head away, blinking furiously. He doesn’t need to finish his sentence, I know what he’s thinking. No one should have to go through that, through what we went through, not ever. I slide my arm around his shoulders.
“It’s gonna be okay. We won't let them.” I say.
“We can’t protect them all.” Todd counters.
“We have to try. We have to keep them from that pain. We have to.” I say, fiercely.
“I know.”
I press my forehead to his, blinking back tears.

“We’ll get through this.” I say. “Together.”
“Together.” Todd repeats, squeezing my hand. Possum pads up to us and settles herself in between us.
“Together.” I say.

Chapter 47: Chapter forty seven: The work of war

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

Of course, it comes as no surprise to either of us that as we amble out of bed and down the corridors into the bullpen, Ms. O yells at us. Loudly. We scamper up the stairs to her office quick smart.
“Yes Ms. O?” We chorus, skidding to a stop in her office.
“Good morning boys.” She greets. “Say hello to the war council.”
I blink round at the assembled agents. Sprawled in varying positions around Ms. O’s office are Otto, Olive, Olympia, Otis, and Oona, as well as Owen, O’ Mary from the maintenance department, Oksana, Ocean, O’ Malley, Dr. O, Olo, and Baby Orson. I blow out a long breath and nod appreciatively. That seems like a reasonable group. There’s a moment of grumbling about some departments (the agents and the scientists) being over represented, but it comes to nothing in the end when Ms. O yells for quiet.

“Okay people!” Ms. O shouts. “Since the Big O is out of town for a while, it falls to me to solve this precincts major problems. The most pressing of which is quite obviously, the declaration of war upon our precinct. Now I know you’re scared, but I need realistic solutions here! What are we going to do about this war?”

We run through suggestions, drawing plans, building upon thoughts, until finally everyone comes to the same conclusion. The same, terrible, horrible conclusion. No one’s happy about it.

Precinct 13579 will have to go to war.

“Do we realise what this means!?” Dr. O asks, pummelling a pillow. “The injuries will be catastrophic! The fallout trauma would be enormous. And if they change the rule book to death…”
“They would not.” Otis interrupts. “Even villains have standards. They would not kill a bunch of kids.”
“Not meaning to burst your bubble Otis, but I’ve done- I’ve seen villains do some horrific things. Not to mention you and me are practically outlawed. If the pressure mounted, if their unknown leader decreed it, they… well they just might.” Todd sighs. If anyone picked up on his stumble, the reminder of his past, no one says anything.
“So, then if they do declare death as an option…” Olive starts.
“We’ll blow up that bridge when we come to it.” Ms. O says weakly. “Second order of business, I suppose, is what do we tell the agents? I mean, they all have eyes and ears, they know the villains declared war on us. What they don’t know is that we have decided to uhhh… accept their declaration of war? I guess?? And as an extension, do we send agents home? Do we not? Do we just… let them go if they want to?”
“We have to be straightforward with them.” Oona says. “Honesty is the best policy right now. We have to be transparent with the agents.”
“She’s got a point.” Olo says. “The agents have the right to know”
“Okay that’s great. What do we tell them?” Ms. O asks.

We spend the next hour or so devising a nice little speech to give to the agents and wrapping it up with nice little bow, metaphorically speaking. When we’ve finished, Ms. O gives it one look over, mutters a few words to herself, and then tramps out to her balcony and looks out to the agents sprawled around the bullpen. She clears her throat and begins.
“Odd Squad! Many of you know that we are in peril, so I won’t sugarcoat this. Yesterday the villains declared war on our precinct. What I, alongside what shall now be known as the ‘war council,’ have decided is that unfortunately, the only thing that can be done now, given the power and tenacity of the villains, and their unknown but obviously very real leader, is to accept their declaration of war. So! Precinct 13579 is now at war against the villains. But let us not forget our own moral code! As odd squad agents we are to keep the peace! To protect the citizens of our precinct! And most importantly to Do No Odd!!”
“Do No Odd!” The agents chorus back.
“Exactly!” Ms. O shouts. “So we must take action and save Toronto! We will not stand idle while the villains spread fear and havoc! BUT! I don’t mean to undermine the seriousness of this situation. This danger is like nothing we have ever faced, and will be incredibly challenging and dangerous. As you know, the rule book has been changed to solicit the harm of those agents who are physically over the age of ten. And they may yet, although we hope they will not, change the rules to solicit death. So, I completely understand if you wish to temporarily withdraw from Odd Squad until this war is over or if your parents withdraw you for your own safety. The choice is yours, and there will be no judgement. You have a day to make your choice, remembering that to stay means to stay at your own risk, and that I would STRONGLY encourage all new agents or any agents who are physically under the age of six to temporarily withdraw. But to those who choose to stay, you must remember that to stay is to be here at your own risk, to uphold Odd Squads core, and to protect the citizens. Whatever you choose today, remember, Do No Odd!”
“Do No Odd!!” The agents chorus again. Ms. O smiles down at the agents and then tromps back to us, waiting in her office. She gives us a thumbs up and practically collapses onto Oona’s chest. Oona guides her back onto a couch, cradling her head and murmuring softly to her.
“I can’t take much more of this Oona.” Ms. O sniffles.
“It’s gonna be okay. It’ll be alright.” Oona mutters gently.

~

The next day, all agents who wish to leave whose parents wish to have them withdrawn have left, and now the real work, the work of war, can begin. Ms. O takes inventory of all our remaining agents, calls up the directors of the surrounding precincts to tell them to be on standby, and calls in a camera crew to let the villains know of our acceptance of their stupid bloody war. And then crashes on her couch with Oona in her arms, exhausted. To be fair to them, Me and Todd do the exact same thing the moment we get a chance to have a private moment alone, tumbling into a bed together and sleeping for as long as we can. God I am so SO exhausted.

Chapter 48: Chapter forty eight: Christmas

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

Thank the holy merciful gods that the villains have decided that wasting their Christmas on an attack is a bad idea, and absolutely no one at HQ is upset about that in any way, shape or form. I’d love love LOVE to sleep in ‘til like, forever, but it being Christmas, I’m awake at nine in the morning, like, wide awake. Except not really, because Possum is lying across my legs and Todd has me caught comfortably in his arms. I stretch a little, and curl back into Todd’s embrace. I’m starting to drift back into sleep when Todd’s grip tightens very slightly around me.
“You awake?” I mutter.
There’s silence for a moment, and then a tickle of warm breath on my earlobe.
“Goooood morning.” Todd whispers, gently in my ear. “Merry Christmas my darling.”
“Merry Christmas, love.” I whisper back, turning my head to smile at him. Possum meows at us, and I grin. “Good morning Possum, and a very merry Christmas to you.” I say, pulling her up for a cuddle. She meows in my ear for food, so I zap the floor with a gadget and she hops down from the bed and munches happily on the food I summoned for her.

Santa must have visited during the night, not being affected by the war like we are, because as the agents still at HQ, and theres a surprising amount of us, actually, assemble in the bullpen, we all notice, (like its hard to miss), the rather large Christmas tree in the centre of the bullpen, presents stacked underneath it.
“Someone was busy last night.” Todd says, leaning toward me like he’s gossiping in class.
“Yup.” I say, impressed.
“How long d’ya think that took?”
“Two minutes, ish. Give or take thirty seconds.”
“Really?”
“Hey, it’s Santa." I say, slightly indignant. "The man is very, very, good at his job.”
“Fair, fair. Still, only two minutes?” Todd queries
“You’re forgetting the elves dude.”
“Oh, yeah, those. Yeah I did forget about them.”
“Mmm, yeah, I couldn’t tell.” I say, raising my eyebrows.
“Shut up, you.” Todd says, punching my arm lightly. I feign outrage, but I’m smiling.

~

Eventually, when all the agents have wandered in, in an absurd mix of uniforms, PJ’s, and shields, we all settle in a circle around the tree, and Ms. O begins the distribution of presents. Those agents who bought presents for friends hand them around. I thank my stars for my technical expertise, because I HATE forgetting birthdays and Christmases, but I took the time this morning to fiddle around with the gift-inator and whip up a few presents for my friends. A new pair of headphones for Otto, a promise to Olive that I’ll buy her tickets to whatever Bears game she wants after this war, a rubber duck for Otis (he’s getting over his fear), a DIY jewellery set for Pia, a sequinned bow tie for Oona, a small bag of catnip for Possum, a Schmumber-topia juice box for Ms. O (you would not believe the favours I had to call in for that one), and, after much consideration, a bouquet of green carnations for Todd, who grins like an idiot when he gets it, and I’m pretty sure it’s the fact that only about 5 out of the hundred and fifty-ish agents left here actually know that we’re a couple that keeps him from kissing me senseless. Ms. O and Oona, however, having come out to the squad a couple of months ago, have no such concerns, and when Ms. O gifts Oona with Rick Riordan’s book, The Sun and The Star, theres several moments of stifled laughter and a couple of fake retches from around the circle as Oona crash tackles Ms. O and kisses her, hard.
Im not too disappointed with my haul either, most of which is just replacement tools (I lose a lot), although I also get a plush froggo, a little book full of different genders, sexualities, and their flags, as well as famous LGBTQIA+ people, which is really very nice, thank you Olive, a couple of fancy pens and a book of crossword puzzles, and a small bag of dried lavender, on which is pinned a small, pixelated, rainbow heart. It’s anonymous, but Todd’s pleased little smile tells me everything I need to know, and really, who else would give me dried lavender for Christmas. Seriously.

The rest of the day is just… bliss. At some point after lunch, which is an impressive feast, and seriously if I didn’t know Oksana so well I’d be worried that she’d have almost killed herself with the effort, I fall asleep in the lab, head in Todd’s lap, and don’t wake up for quite a while, not till he shakes me to get me to stop drooling. Oops. I blush and apologise, profusely, and thankfully, Todd laughs it off, and then says that he’s hungry, so we go to get leftover sandwiches. The day winds up with everyone crowded into Ms. O’s office, which has expanded to accommodate us all, clustered around a magical fire, chestnuts roasting upon it, and slowly, one by one, falling asleep. I’m one of the last few awake, Possum on my lap, Todd leaning heavily on my shoulder, chatting in hushed voices to Owen and Otis. Eventually, Owen stops responding to us, and starts snoring. I stifle a giggle, and Otis smiles.
“Good day, huh?” He says.
“Yeah. Good day.” I agree.
“Shame it can’t last.” He sighs.
“Yeah. You worried?” I ask.
“A little.” He confesses. “But i’ve got Olympia. And you. And, well, all the other agents. We’ll be fine. Are you? Worried, I mean.”
“Yeah. But hey, we’re Odd Squad. We’ll be fine. And I’ve got this overprotective knucklehead too. Determined, he is.” I whisper, jerking my thumb at Todd.
“Mmm….” Otis lapses into silence for a bit, and then asks, “When you say overprotective, d’you mean of odd squad or of you? Cause you two are… very close.”
“Both.” I say. “Yeah, it’d be both. I mean, he loves his job, but, I think he might just like me more.”
“Like, like-like? Like, dating, likes you, or are you just friends?” Otis asks.
“Yeah.” I say, barely above a whisper, smiling. “Like, dating, likes me.”
“Called it." He whispers, and when I raise my eyebrows, he chuckles quietly. "you two aren't as... shall we say, subtle, as you might think. Congratulations though. You two seem like a really great couple.” He whispers. I nod and shut my eyes, suddenly tired. Still smiling, I sink into oblivion.

Chapter 49: Chapter forty nine: Battle Strategy

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

The truce, however, only lasts for the duration of December the 25th, so the day after Christmas its right back to the war. Oh goody. But hey, we’ve got Ms. O, one woman wonder and director extraordinaire. So after a rude awakening at six am, and conformation on the morning news that, yeah, we’re not dreaming, this sh*t’s really happening, Ms. O kicks all but the war council out of the room. We assume our designated positions around the room, Oona zaps the candy bowl to fill itself, and the meeting commences.

Ms. O works at lightning speed, breaking up agents into patrol groups. Agents physically under ten can go out just as partners, but ten and over should go out in groups, safety in numbers. Todd and Otis can’t go out point blank. Ms. O admitted defeat when it came to letting them fight in the actual battles, because we’ll need every fighter we can possibly get. Mind you I won’t have much chance to go out but for any battles myself. I’ll be stuck, almost full time, in the lab. We don’t know what this war will entail, but all we know is that we would rather sell our days dearly in battle than let the villains take over. She points out our vulnerable spots, the places where our defences should be strengthened. We make plans for fight training, revise our knowledge of our enemy, try to stay upbeat.

We draw maps and diagrams, well into the day, and talk about when and if a retreat should be called. We talk about battle sites and extra staffing for the doctors and security and scientist and well… all the departments really, and who we could pull in from other squads to help us. We spitball ideas about their mysterious leader and make desperate, failed attempts to contact the Big O. We joke around and make light of this war because how else are we supposed to survive, to stay motivated, to stay sane? We wonder what it means to be at war, since the term is rather loose but tends to conjure images of soldiers sitting in trenches for days, months, years on end, but what would it mean for us? Odd Squad at war is unprecedented territory. And everything we do deals with the strange, weird, and especially odd.

Theres a roiling fear in the pit of my stomach as we sit around the coffee table, writing and sketching and making light of our situation. But I clamp a lid on that fear and pretend it never happened. Hard. I just have to pretend that it’s a top secret mission and I'll be fine, right?
Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep working.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep working.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep working.

Chapter 50: Chapter fifty: Overthinker

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

As the meeting finishes up, my head crowds with thoughts. Battle. War. Two years ago I never would have dreamt that this would happen to me. Fighting in a war. For the benefit of all humanity. I don’t think I’m ready for this. And looking round the room, no one else is either. Everyone around us looks uncomfortably sad, worried, or disbelieving. I sob silently. Todd shifts his weight and I take my glasses off so I can bury my face in a pillow to stifle my crying. The pain for the future, the fear for the other agents, it hurts, like a white hot knife reopening my scars, and I shake, sobbing harder now. For the future, for the past, for the pain, for my friends and what may happen. For every outcome that might or might not happen. Todd pulls me into himself. I try to pull myself together but I feel so dark, so low, so utterly helpless. I can’t stop the pain of it, the well of potential grief that hasn’t even started yet. The well of impossible grief, grief I haven’t even experienced, grief that might not even be a reality. I sob into my pillow, wetting it with my tears. I curl tightly into myself, dimly aware of the others asking if I’m okay. And then Todd scoops me up, gently, mutters something to Ms. O, and carries me out, down the stairs, and through the corridors of the squad. He sets me down, gently, in the grass of the foresty room. I choke out a sob and lean against him. He wraps his arms around me and just lets me cry.

After what feels like hours I stop crying, mainly because I feel like my tear ducts have just stopped responding, dry my face and shut my eyes.
“Are you okay?” Todd ventures. I shake my head.
“D’you wanna talk about it?” He asks. “Is it just the war or…?”
“… its … this is sh*t. I-I… hate it.”
“It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. We’re fighters. We won't let the villains win. And I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“D-Don’t say that.” I hiccup “You c-can’t keep me safe all th-the time.”
“I can damn well try.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
“No promises.”
“Please?”
Todd’s silent for a while. I turn in his arms and cup his face.

“Please.” I repeat. “I can’t lose you.”
“… Okay.” He says, leaning forward so our foreheads touch. The words ‘I love you’ swirl to life inside me. I squish them and instead say the next best thing.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Todd asks, gently, taking my hand.
“Saving my reputation. Getting me out of there.”
“Oh, no theres no hope for your reputation honey, I was far too late for that.” He says. I smack the back of his hand lightly.
 “Bastard.” I whisper.
“Idiot.” He whispers back. I laugh.
“Feeling better?”
“A bit.”
“Would a kiss help?” He asks. I roll my eyes.
“I guess.” I say. “But if you wanna kiss me that bad, you can just say s-“ I’m cut off by his mouth on mine. I sigh and shut my eyes. Yeah. This is nice. Todd sighs against my mouth, and I kinda just, melt into him.

Chapter 51: Chapter fifty one: battle

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

We lose track of the time after that. Todd plucks the pen from the pocket of my lab coat and doodles around the scars on my arms, constantly reminding me that it’ll be okay. We explore the room, kiss, almost get stuck in a fae trap, kiss, swap stories, kiss some more. And then, as I’m leaning up against a tree, eyes closed, just being, and Todd is standing over me, one hand pressed loosely to the tree trunk beside my head, head tilted back, smiling, there’s a thundering boom, and the ground trembles. We collapse to the floor. The trees creak, the room rattles. And then it all goes still.

“What was that?” I gasp.
“Dunno. If I had to guess I’d say villains. Come on.” He sighs, wearily. On shaking legs, we make our way out to the bullpen. We arrive just as another skull rattling boom echoes overhead, throwing everyone into a frenzy. A lot of younger agents are screaming, terrified. There’s a grim look of ‘oh f*ck, here it comes,’ from the older agents. Owen rushes up of us, wide eyed.

“Bomb. Ms. O. Now.” He barks. We take the hint and the three of us sprint up the steps to Ms. O’s office. Of course Owen would know it’s a bomb. He’s the demo expert of the squad. We spill into Ms. O’s office, who pushes up her reading glasses and gives Owen a look that says ‘details. Now.’
“They’re trying to bomb their way into HQ, probably through the door corridors. The explosions are designed so there’s a lot of noise and blast but not that much damage done. If I had to guess I’d say they’re trying to break our nerve, and also-" He’s cut off by another boom, and more screams.
“Also, they are probably almost in.”
“How long?” Ms. O asks.
“Another three to five minutes, pending charge strength and roof strength.” Owen says.

“Okay. Oscar, Todd, Owen. Rally the troops. It’s time for war.”

We book it out of her office just as another rattling BOOM rends the air. I stumble, but we make it to the railing. Down in the bullpen agents are cowering under desks, hands thrown over their heads to protect themselves. I pull out a megaphone, and when the residual shaking stops, I call out to the agents. They look up at us with a mixture of ‘what the f*ck is happening, what the f*ck do we do, and why the hell are they using f*cking bombs?’ Most of that I don’t have concrete answers for, but what we’re doing, now that, that, I have an answer for. We direct agents to their battle stations, occasionally interrupted by a loud explosion. In a few minutes all the agents are armed with gadgets and heading to their posts. A troupe of security guards follow Owen to the site of the explosions, shields up and helmets down, ready for a fight. The rest of the agents follow them in loose concentric… rings I guess? Surrounding the villains anyway. Any entrances to the bullpen are heavily guarded, and we would totally set some booby traps but the loud boom that practically rocks the building confirms that we really really don’t have time for that. The agents left behind assemble themselves quick smart, crouched behind desks, ready to be called out for backup when Ms. O gives the word. Dr. O and her nurses hold the fort in the med bay. We lockdown the rooms to the sides of the bullpen. Todd glances my way, squeezes my hand, wishes me luck, and then sprints after the agents disappearing into the door corridors.

I station myself by the entrance to the trophy room and give a sharp nod to the agents around me. They nod back to me, and then turn their attention back to the door. The villains are unlikely to come through here, but we need to keep all our bases covered. I keep an eye on the other agents gathered around the other entrances to the bullpen. For a while, nothing happens, just a few more explosions. And then, theres a deafening boom that sends us all tumbling, and, from the bowels of HQ the sound of Owen yelling an unintelligible battle cry. We who are still in the bullpen wait, silently, the tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knifeinator. In the distance there’s sounds of yelling, crashes and zaps, the occasional blood curdling scream that makes everyone wince. I vaguely hear a buzzing, clashing sound, the sound of gadget beams colliding. I swallow nervously. Im not entirely sure I like being stuck out here not doing anything, but there's another rattling boom and a loud scream, and actually no I’m okay staying here. The battle sounds like it’s getting closer.

And then theres a rattling thud, banging on the doors behind me. I whip my head around and crouch down in combat position, ready to fire. The ten tonne doors shiver under the repeated blows, and as I can only assume that Ms. O is still wreaking havoc upon the villains, I am very very afraid of what is on the other side of the door.

The doors shiver and shake and finally come crashing open.

A writhing green vine shoots into the room with more force than I would’ve believed possible and vanishes just as fast, so fast, in fact, that I think I might’ve imagined it. But the fact remains that those doors are VERY open. As the dust and debris settles, a whole troupe of villains charge into the bullpen, yelling something indistinguishable. In return, the agents posted for backup spring out from their posts, yelling loudly. I pull out a second gadget, cry, “FOR ODD SQUAD!” And bash the Puppy Master over the head with the flat end of one of the gadgets I’m holding. She cries out and reels backwards into the crowd of villains. I lose sight of her but I have other things to worry about, because Mr Lightning is blasting me with bolts and it’s all I can do to not get hit, let alone fight back. I back up, hit a wall of flesh, crinkly fabric, and instrument polish, and stumble forward, gagging a bit on the unpleasant smell and worse memories. Mr Lightning sends a bolt my way and I duck, simultaneously sending a bolt of green light at his kneecaps, turning his legs into the legs of a large bird that I think might be an ostrich. Either way it produces a result that is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. Most people, upon having their legs turned into birds legs, would reel back in surprise, and probably fall over. Well Mr Lightning TRIED to reel backwards, but for some reason, couldn’t, and fell over immediately. But he adjusts fast, gets up, and kicks me in the legs. Hard. I crash down to the floor, legs throbbing with pain, and bite out a curse. I switch out gadgets and zap his legs into something less likely to snap my thigh bones. Moments later his torso and head are wobbling around on eight slimy gross octopi tentacles. I shove down the pain, clamber unsteadily to my feet, ignoring the blood seeping into my socks, and go find some other villains to beat up.

It’s not hard, seeing as, well, I’m in the middle of a literal war zone. As I stumble forward on shaking legs, someone grabs me from behind in a chokehold. I ram my elbow behind me as hard as I can hitting what I believe from my vague knowledge of self defence is their solar plexus. (Thank you Miss Congeniality!) They loosen their hold and I take the opportunity to jam my heel onto the top of their foot. I turn and punch them in the face, if not hitting their nose then I at least got close, and then take a gander and bring my fist down to their groin. Whoever got hold of me howls in pain. I whirl around, zap the villain with a gadget, and then, before I even see what it does, whisk back around to face Mrs Tornado. She growls at me, and sends the papers on the desks surrounding me flying. I momentarily wonder when I moved from the door to the desks, but Mrs Tornado thrusts her palms towards me and a gust of wind catches me off my feet. I shriek in alarm but the swirling winds around me snatch the sound away the moment it leaves my mouth. Im surrounded by a mass of clouds and wind, churning around me like a blender. I growl in frustration as I attack the walls with my gadgets fruitlessly. I look around and see that I’m surrounded by the winds, except, for directly above me.

I grin.
I have an idea.
It’s a really, really bad idea, and I’ll probably break my legs if I’m not fast enough, but it’s my only shot.

~

One of the first things any odd squad scientist or agent learns, is that you do NOT, under ANY circ*mstances, hold the barrel of your gadget to any solid surface. Ever.

I had no choice. I broke that rule.

~

The sound of solid light, energy, and a thousand calculations and changes that every physics teacher ever will say are impossible hitting solid concrete at a speed that would make Santa’s reindeer jealous, is ear splitting. The force is worse. As I predicted, I went shooting up with the force of a bullet and almost hit the roof. And then dear old Issac Newton’s law of gravity came into play, and I came plummeting down to earth with absolutely no intention of dying. Instead, I pulled out a gadget, and with the click of a button, transformed the entire bullpen floor into a gigantic foam pit. a second later I hit the foam with a giant FWUMP.

It hurts when I hit it. A lot.

It doesn’t hurt as much as saying solid concrete or water would, but it still does. Turns out even foam doesn’t have much give when you hit it at near terminal velocity. I take a hot minute to catch my breath and orient myself before floundering clumsily up to the surface.

Whoever coined that old saying ‘the battle can be lost or won before before it has even begun by simply choosing the right ground’ is absolutely right. I’ve never seen villains look more out of their depth than they did just at that moment, standing, or floundering, rather, in my hastily zapped into existence foam pool. I crow with laughter because it is so, so hard to keep a straight face when faced with twenty-odd adults stuck in a foam pit being overwhelmed by agents who are much smaller and lighter and therefore better at moving through foam than they are. I push through the foam to join the other agents, gadgets in hand.

~

About half an hour later we’ve successfully incapacitated the villains in the ball pit. We’re all feeling pretty damn good about ourselves, actually.

And then we remember the OTHER part of the battle.
Raging in in all the OTHER areas of HQ.
And potentially not doing so well for all the OTHER agents.

As one we race into the bowels of HQ, toward the varying sounds of battle.

We don’t have to look very hard.

After about thirty seconds of running down the corridors, me and the four other agents on my tail run into trouble. One of the agents following me, I note, is that little kid, Orly, and a girl who I can only assume is his partner, Orletta. They both look scared but excited, and I silently commend them for their bravery. But we don’t have time for a quick stop to chat, because there's a villain blasting bricks at two agents cowering behind their shields. Orly tackles the villain around the knees and they grunt and stagger forward in surprise, the hail of bricks stopping momentarily. The two cowering agents scramble back down the corridor as the two other agents who I think are called Otter and Odin take advantage of Orly’s distraction to wrestle the villain out of their gloves. Orletta and I start forward but theres really no need, the villain is already running for the hills.

Our little band continues on in this way, heading deeper and deeper into HQ, collecting agents. Once, Otter hit Shapeshifter over the head so hard with a book that she shifted into an exact replica of said book. Otter looked very pleased with himself until Orletta kicked the book, and then Orzo had to step in and stop a fight, and everyone else had to take five to stop laughing at the serious death glares being thrown across the hallway. Even after we start moving again, every so often there’s an outbreak of giggles, which is SO not it for the whole ‘running through HQ to tell the villains to go f*ck themselves vibe’ but its whatever. We go racing through HQ as fast as we can. Eventually we get to the epicentre of the fighting, and my jaw just, drops. I blink a couple of times.

“We’re not wading into that sh*t are we?” Otter swears.
“Yeah, I think we have to.” Orly says, observing the carnage.
“Are we sure they don’t have this covered?” Orzo grumbles. In actuality I have no idea. I shake my head, heft my gadget, and stomp into the battle.

I’m tired and grumpy and it SHOWS.
The wasteland we’ve waded into consists of a mosh pit of villains and agents, most of whom are bleeding or at the very least bruised, a lot of rubble, and more tables than I care to count acting as makeshift barricades. I groan, and then blast the hell out of a couple of nasty looking villains. I fight long and hard, but no matter how many villains we take down, more just keep on coming. With a thunderclap of clarity I realise that we never actually tied up any of the villains that we incapacitated in the foam pit. I hit my head against the desk in front of me, and then scramble around trying to find Ms. O. She, needless to say, does not take this news well.

“f*cking hell Oscar!” She growls. “Well I don’t think we’re gonna win this fight.”
“We HAVE to try.” I say, empathetically.
“We HAVE tried!!” Ms. O yells. “Best cut our losses while we can. Half our troops are wounded and the villains have backup. We don’t. Im calling for a retreat.” She snaps. I flinch. Ms. O screams for a retreat, and we all scramble out of the halls and into the bullpen as fast as out legs can carry us. We follow Ms. O into her (apparently magically expanded) office, skirting the edges of the foam pit, and she locks it down.

We all take a breather, and Dr. O and her nurses rush around with medical kits. Most curl up, shivering, around the room. Ms. O glares at me, face hostile. I mouth ‘sorry’ at her, because thats all the apology I have time for. Eventually, the radar behind Ms. O’s desk clears. The villains have gone. We all let out a collective sigh of relief that no one was aware of holding. Ms. O debriefs us, throwing some serious shade my way. I am going to have to mock up a serious apology after this. She lets us go, a few at a time, till its just the war council. I hadn’t seen Todd since he left my side at the start of this battle and he looks a mess, dark hair flopping over his eyes, his entire left side covered in syrup, right side covered in feathers, a swathe of them stained red along his thigh. Judging from his expression, I don’t look very much better.
“Hey darling.” He manages a smile.
“Hello, love.” I say, nodding politely. Ms. O coughs, and we sit.

“Firstly, Oscar.” Ms. O says. I wince. “Im annoyed, and frustrated, but mistakes happen, and holding grudges right now? Bad idea. Next time, tie the villains up.” I nod vigourously.
“Secondly,” She continues, “it’s time we launched a counter attack.”

Chapter 52: Chapter fifty two: Rather be a lover than a fighter

Chapter Text

DECEMBER

A counter attack.

The words hang heavy in the air, the weight of them nearly suffocating, the implications awkward and intangible. The lingering buzz of adrenaline from the fight drains out the room. ‘Pia chokes out a sob and promptly leaves, accompanied by Otis. They don’t come back for a long while, and it’s clear they’ve both been crying when they do return. All is silent for a while. When next someone speaks, it's Owen, and he sounds like he wants to curl up in a ball and sleep until this is over. I relate to that very very much.

“A- a counter attack. Okay. Not in our head-quarters. We gotta, gotta hit them where it’ll hurt. Reconnaissance. Espionage. Spy- stuff. We have to find out where their base is. Launch an attack there. That… that should help. And, rope. Handcuffs. Things for apprehending villains so we don’t repeat… well incidents.” Ms. O looks grim, but she nods her assent. I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Okay. Reconnaissance. Let’s workshop that.” Ms. O says. Normally that gets a lot more of a reaction, but now we just sit in silence, the oppressive weight of this task weighing on our shoulders. And bless her heart, Ms. O picks up on our despondency.

“Okay. War council over, we all clearly need to recharge. Oksana, sit your ass back down I’m not letting you work yourself to death, not on my watch. Dr. O put the bandages down, you’re not working yourself to death either. And Oscar, Oona, don’t you even think about touching a gadget- I know it’s broken, put it down babe- for the rest of the night.”
“You should rest too, Oprah, my love.” Oona says, putting down the gadget she’s holding and pulling Ms. O up from her chair. Ms. O looks not very happy about this arrangement, but she lets herself be pulled along to sit down next to Oona on the couch, so she’s probably not too upset.

~

We spend a few minutes cleaning up, and really, Todd’s leg wound does not look good. Mind you, the bleeding cuts across my shins inflicted by Mr Lightning and his bird legs aren’t very pretty either, but Dr. O gets us both back to vaguely normal pretty quick. Turns out they were Emu legs, and thats why he couldn’t walk backwards. However Emu kicks pack quite a punch and according to Dr. O I’m actually very lucky they weren’t puncture wounds.

“Soo…” Olo says, rolling her bandanged shoulder experimentally and then wincing. Dr. O shoots her a look that says ‘I told you so.’ Olo just rolls her eyes. “Anyway. What now?”
“I vote for a year long nap. At least. And then maybe when we wake up, it’ll all have just…. Not happened.” Otto says, head in his hands
“That is a wonderful idea. I second it!” Olive says, eyes wide, bloodshot, and slightly crazed.
“Honestly? Owen chips in, and he sounds like he needs to cry. “Yeah, no, I needs a nap as well.”
O’ Mary nods empathetically. Ocean stops running his hands through his hair for long enough to say that a nap sounds like heaven right now, and O’ Malley and Agent Orson have already passed out on the couch.
“Okay. Nap time it is. But not a year long one, I’m sorry.” Ms. O says, gently.

With one press of her multi purpose clicker, which I still haven’t been able to make make decent juice despite all of my best efforts, her office transforms itself into a space suitable for a sleepover, fairy lights hanging delicately from the ceiling, pillow forts appearing out of nowhere, decked out with blankets and beanbags, the coffee table suddenly conjuring several mugs of frothy hot chocolate and a big bowl of popcorn. A large stack of books sat next to the table. A collective sigh runs around the room. Ms. O steps outside her office momentarily to perform the same treatment on the bullpen, because god knows we ALL need this. I don’t move for a hot minute, and then Todd literally drags me across the room to a sheltered corner and we smother each other in blankets. There’s a few moments of sobbing and clutching at each other for dear life, angry words whispered into ears, words of reassurance murmured back.

“God I thought…” Todd whispers, holding me close.
“It’s alright.” I say. “I’m here. It’s okay. It’s over.”
“I hate this. I hate all of this.” He sobs.
“I know. I know. I hate too. But we’ve got each other. It’s gonna be okay.”
Todd sniffs, squeezing his eyes shut. I kiss his forehead lightly.
“Come on. We should sleep.”
“Don’t wanna. Nightmares.”
“I know, but we need to keep our energy up.”
“Don’t make me. I don’t wanna sleep. I wanna stay with you. You’re not scary.”
“Really?” I ask.
“Yeah. Well… not very. Sometimes. But, scary to the villains. Not us. A good scary.”
“Well, how about you sleep, and you can be safe knowing that this good scary scientist is keeping watch, yeah?”
“No. Something might happen. I won’t let anything happen to my boyfriend.”
“I appreciate the sentiment babe, but seriously, if you wanna protect me, you gotta sleep so you can recharge.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Well then… what do you want?”
“I want… I want this to be over. I wanna feel safe, and whole. And part of a family again. I want you to be safe, and by my side. I want… well… right now I really wanna kiss you.”
“Is that what this has been all about? You want to kiss me and thats why you haven’t gone to sleep yet?” I ask.
“Mayyybe?” Todd says, giving me a sheepish grin.

I smile, and lean down to kiss the love of my life. The boy that tuned my life on its head. The boy who came into my life like a pienado and hasn’t left easily. Not that I would ever want him to. In another universe, people might say we’re soulmates, bound together by marks on our skin. In this universe, he’s still my soulmate, and not because of some random mark, but because this is the boy that made me feel home and safe and loved and accepted when my own parents wouldn’t. I would give up so much for him. I really really do love him. I pull away.

“Better?” I ask.
“No. Not quite.” Todd says, a little bit of a flirty edge creeping into his voice. I glance away, covering my hand with my mouth to hide a smile. Todd raises his eyebrows, and I look back at him, hand still covering my mouth but doing nothing for my blush. Todd gently pulls my hand away from my mouth.

“Don’t hide it. You have a pretty smile.” He says, softly, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. My cheeks burn, and I’m fairly certain that if we didn’t have the fairy lights you’d be able to see them glowing red. Fortunately, I’m saved having to respond by Todd pulling me down so our lips connect. He pulls back a second later to mumble, “Is this okay? D’you, you know, mind that we’re… kinda being a bit public?” Todd asks, threading his fingers through my hair.
“Not really…” I mumble, burying my head in his shoulder.
“Not really like you want me to stop or…?” He trails off, and I stammer to correct my mistake.
“No like… I’m with you. And, we’re with our friends. oh! Speaking of, I may or may not have told Otis about, well… us. So he knows now. I hope you’re okay with that?”
“What?” Todd asks, sitting upright.
“I um… I told… well, Otis asked if we were a thing and I said yes… He’s keeping it secret though.”
“Did you?! You told Otis about us!!! And all by yourself, oh Oscar I’m so proud of you!!” Todd squeals, pulling me into a tight hug. “Oh that’s amazing I’m so so proud of you, darling!”
I beam.
“So I take it you’re okay with us being a little public then?” Todd asks. I nod.
“Yeah, it’s okay. As long as we’re together, you know?”
“Mmm… yeah. Together. God I don’t think I’ll EVER get tired of that word.”
“Me neither. You know what word I won’t get tired of?” I ask.
“What?” Todd asks.
“Boyfriend.” I whisper in his ear. He chuckles. “You’re my boyfriend.” I whisper again.
“You’re such a dork.” Todd says, poking me in the side.
“Yeah… you like it though. You like being my boyfriend.” I tease. Todd kisses my nose gently
“Well, yeah, obviously. You’re smart, and kind, and funny, and… cute.”
I flush bright red and cover my face.
“God I cannot believe my parents said this was wrong.” I mumble.
“I cant believe you ever thought they were right. And I’m really glad you don’t think that anymore.” He whispers. I beam and curl up next to him on a beanbag, lying my head on his chest. Todd pulls up a blanket so it covers both of us and drapes his arm over my shoulders. I beam gently and shut my eyes, drifting off to sleep as Todd winds his fingers through my hair.

Chapter 53: Chapter fifty three: counter strike

Chapter Text

JANUARY

There’s a day of not doing anything, but theres a tension in the air, and no one is particularly comfortable doing nothing. Like, we’re in danger here, why are we waiting around doing nothing? So the war council cracks its knuckles and gets down to business.

“Okay.” Ms. O says. “Let’s try this again, shall we? Reconnaissance. Let’s brainstorm it.”
Filled with fresh determination and a thirst for victory we get to work. Olo pulls out a big sheet of butchers paper, O’ Mary busts out the textas and glitter, and Ocean pulls out the stickers. Olive silently sets a bundle of good old fashioned lead pencils on the table without a word. O’ Malley, who has the neatest handwriting of all of us, scrawls the words ‘Villain Recon’ at the top of the page, twirls his texta in his hand and looks up at us expectantly. There’s a beat of silence. And then the ideas come.

“We should send younger agents, they’re in less danger.”
“In normal clothes and probably alone.”
“Im not too jazzed about the alone part of that statement but… its probably our best shot.”
“Would tailing the villains work?”
“Last I know of, their HQ was uptown, if we had a map…”
“Here you go.”
“Thanks. Hmmm… ah! There, that building there, that’s their last known HQ. They like to change it up though.”
“Okay, we should have eyes on that building at all times. Any other places we should watch?”
“Should we keep an eye on the houses of the authorities?”
“How much do we need to know about them?”
“As much as we can, mothers maiden name and everything.”
“Agents should be posted at the edges of the precinct.”
“What about the sewer system?”
“Eww!”
“What? It’s a possibility!”
“How do we get eyes on the inside?”
“Do we need eyes on the inside?”
“Well, yeah…”
“No, no we don’t. Its FAR too dangerous, I won’t allow that.”
“Their opinions on pineapple on pizza.”
“Any relatives they have, or friends, or anyone they’re close to, anyone at all.”
“Your opinion on pineapple pizza?”
“Yeah I’m not answering that, thats dangerous territory. We’re already in the middle of a war, I don’t need any in-fighting.”
“Did anyone else notice that weird plant thing in the middle of the last battle or…”
“Off topic, back on track”
“Oh right, sorry.”
“Are the number villains really that big of a threat or are they like… less threatening?”
“Yeah I mean, they don’t really do much.”
“Still villains, probably equipped with something dangerous, should be treated with the same amount of caution.”
“How many villains are we even up against?”
“Too god-damn many, that’s for sure.”
“A-men, sister!”

Half an hour later we have a list of ideas for our reconnaissance mission and start putting our plans into action. We find the smallest sneakiest and bravest agents and give them a ‘minor’ villain to follow. Technically there are no minor villains but we picked the ones we thought that any well armed agent could beat easily. We place a guard of Odd Squad special agent C.A.T.S.s (Cute And Terrifying Squeak stoppers) at the houses of the authorities and the precinct limits. We do end up sending some C.A.T.S.s to guard the sewer system as well. We set up base in buildings around any potential villain bases. We give our spy agents tracking devices to covertly place on the villains so we can listen in to their conversations and find out as much as we possibly can about them. I can tell that neither of our ex-villain agents like having nothing to do, but when Todd gets a look in his eyes that I really don’t like, before I can even open my mouth, Otis is out of his chair and towering over Todd, growling at him to sit his ass down and not to do anything stupid because we need him. He looks at me very significantly when he says ‘we,’ which makes me blush and bury my head in my hands. Todd stares daggers at Otis for a minute before reclining grumpily back into my chest.

Thats when Owen pipes up.

“Okay!” He shouts, standing up and throwing his hands in the air. “I literally cannot take this anymore! I don’t care how much money I lose because of this, I have to know! You two are gay, aren’t you. Don’t lie to me. We all know it’s true. You’re dating.”
Todd looks back at me, silently asking me what I want to do through his eyes. I smirk, and give him the tiniest nod. Todd grins. And without missing a beat, he stands up, puts his hands on his hips and raises his eyebrows.
“How, DARE you!” He cries, like the absolute drama queen he is. “What an absolutely preposterous notion, I cannot believe you would ever accuse us of such tomfoolery, truly I am astounded, I am shocked, I am appalled!-“ behind Owen, who’s watching Todd with a mixture of shock and confusion on his face, Otis has doubled over cackling, and Ms. O and Oona are no better off. Todd’s gone into a fake swooning fit now, and I’m doing everything I can to keep a straight face, but it’s very hard.
“I am beyond appalled, I am flabbergasted that you would suggest that!” Todd continues. “I would not do such a thing! I would not commit such a heinous act of- of course we’re dating. What, did you think we were just platonic besties? God no.” he sits back down next to me and presses a kiss to my cheek. O’ Malley gags’, Pia beams at us, and Ms. O looks on with a kind of motherly pride, which is an expression I never thought I’d see on her face, but here we are. Olive yawns, and then says,
“Okay, pay up guys. Who owes who what?”
“Wait, Owen was serious about that?” I query. Owen nods. I gasp. “Thats like, the second time you guys have run a betting pool on us!”
Oona furrows her brow and counts something on her fingers, then turns and whispers to Ms. O. I see her eyebrows shoot up as she covers her mouth with her hand. When she finally uncovers it she takes a moment to regain composure before saying,
“I believe it’s the fifth time.”
My jaw hits the floor. Todd stands back up in outrage. Olive stifles a laugh.

~

When we've gotten over the shock of it all, and all the congratulations have been said, me and Todd sit back down, and Ms. O pipes up.
“Now, I believe we were planning a counter attack?” She says.
“Oh… yeah we were doing that, weren’t we?” O’ Mary says.

“So. Once we have successfully gotten eyes on wherever the villains are, we strike. Hard. Fast. No mercy.” Ms. O says. “Oscar, Oona, gadgets are important, but we need armour. Owen, O’ Malley, O’ Mary, when I say that we need a way in, I want us to be in there before I’m done talking. Dr. O, med bay, have one, we will need it. Ocean, can we use creatures? Oksana, Todd, squad parents, the agents need to be rested and fed for this battle. Olo, we need the strongest glue you’ve got. Olive, Otto, Otis, Olympia, get in contact with the friends of the squad, we’re gonna need their help. Orson, how do you feel about driving a bus?”

Chapter 54: Chapter fifty four: forges

Chapter Text

JANUARY

I don’t know where we got them, but somehow, we acquire two double decker buses.

“I’m sorry, you want us to WHAT?” Oona asks Ms. O, when she comes into the lab with blueprints in hand.
“Weld the buses together.” Ms. O says.
“You know, if I worked, like, anywhere else, the paperwork alone would kill us.” Oona sighs. “Unfortunately, I don’t. And I just have to sit here and suffer. …Okay fine I’ll do it.”
“Thanks babe. And, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. It’s kind of our only option. And if there’s a possibility that we could make it invisible?…”
“Yeah, I got it.” Oona smiles, tiredly. “I can’t wait for this to be over. I want to go back to normal.”
“Were we ever normal?”
“I don’t know. But I don’t want all of this, I just want… I just need you Oprah.”
“I know Oona. I know. God, I know.”
I clear my throat gently.
“Do you two need a minute?” I ask. 
They look at each other, nod, and turn back to me, identical looks of ‘god yes, we need some alone time’ in their eyes.
“Right then. Oona, you can go on break for a bit, take your time, I’ve got things covered here. Ms. O, do you need me to do anything?”
“No, but thank you, Oscar.” Ms. O smiles at me, before racing up the stairs to her office after Oona. I stretch and direct half the scientists down to the Odd Squad warehouse to deal with those buses, and the other half to keep making gadgets. Meanwhile, I take a walk into the depths of HQ to find the forges, so we can get a start on making armour. Armour. Because apparently that’s a thing now, and that’s not terrifying at all, the fact that we need ARMOUR to fight the villains now. I exhale a massive sigh and lean against the wall. I must stay there longer than I think because after a while Otto rounds the corner.

“Hey Oscar! You okay?” He asks.
“Who me? Oh I’m finnne. Never been better.” I say, sarcastically. Otto, bless his heart, picks up on my sarcasm and leans against the wall next to me.
“What’s on your mind?” He asks. I blow out a long breath.
“Armour, Otto.” I whisper. “I’m making armour for the squad now. This is serious business. I thought… I dunno, that this was a joke, a prank, or just, not that… big. But I’m making armour. For a bunch of kids. Some of them are so young. There’s this one kid, Orly, and he’s gotta be about seven or eight. Biologically. And he’s still here. If the villains declare death… I’m getting him out of here. I won’t let anything happen to that kid.”
Otto stays quiet, which chills me, genuinely, because Otto is such a happy-go-lucky guy, an optimist, always has some positivity to share. And he’s silent.

Finally he offers up the best he can.
“It’s going to be okay Oscar. We have to believe that.”
“I know.”
“Hey, listen. I know things seem… crazy right now, but it’s going to be alright. We gotta look on the bright side! We’re all still here, still fighting, that’s important it means we haven’t given up! We have a plan! A good plan! A plan that will leave us with a fighting chance. And, we’ve all got each others backs. All for one and one for all and all that. It’s gonna be okay. We just have to keep fighting. Like Spider-Man! He always gets back up. Well, so do we! Odd squad has been running for… centuries, I reckon. And through both world wars! This isn’t the Squads first war, we got this! We just have to keep getting back up. Can you do that?”
I nod my head.
“Can you do that?” Otto asks again, pointedly.
“Yes!” I shout, punching my fist in the air for emphasis.
“Good man!” Otto cries, springing to an upright position and pulling me up with him. He puts his hands on my shoulders.
“Now. What are you doing?”
“Getting back up. No matter what.”
“Good. Now go find those forges.”

~

Pep rally over, I keep searching through the corridors. And okay, most people know the basic layout of HQ but only to a certain point. Like, after that point, turn back! I did not turn back. Instead, I pulled out a ball of yarn, tied it to a doorknob, and ventured into the unknown.

It’s darker and scarier down these corridors, and I jump at every little sound. I’ve gone through six balls of string and am seriously considering asking the maintenance department or Oksana where the forges are when I stumble across a set of stairs leading down. I didn’t know Odd squad had a lower floor. Slowly, and despite my better judgement, I walk down the stairs.

They lead directly into the forges, which is very nice, but my word it is hot down here. And dark. And it smells like burning carrots for some strange, inexplicable reason. I walk gingerly into the room, squinting, and grope around the walls for a light switch. Finding one, I turn it on. A single, dull lightbulb hanging from the ceiling flickers on lazily, casting a dull yellow glow across the room. The light, though eerie, reveals six or seven forges, several workbenches, on top of which sit three big anvils and a couple of pairs of bellows, and a large barrel that I suspect should hold the water used to cool the metal, but it’s currently bone dry. Theres a large wooden chest in the corner, which I suppose must contain tools, but as it’s locked I’ll have to wait to find out. The room is coated in a thick layer of dust, and it’s pretty obvious that no one has been down here in decades. The dust my feet have stirred up makes me sneeze, violently. I give a sharp whistle and wait. Mere moments later, the Oscarbots arrive, and a quick bit of re-coding later they’re ready to go.

“Oscarbots! Clean this room!” I say, and make myself scarce, covering my nose and mouth to prevent the dust from getting in them. I start to head up the stairs, but I’m not even halfway up when Oscarbot Sixteen runs up behind me and tugs my sleeve.

“Sixteen!” He says. I raise my eyebrows, impressed.
“Already? Thats great!” I say. He nods, earnestly, and I follow him back down the stairs. When I step foot in the forge I almost don’t recognise it. The whole place is dust free and ready to go, the bots have even managed to get the forges going.
“Woah.” I mutter, in awe. I don’t think I’ve ever seen robots do their jobs so efficiently and without chaos before. Which immediately makes me suspicious. I scan the room, but can see nothing out of the ordinary. Everything is working and in its right place. I run my finger over the nearest bench. It comes up clean. I scan the bots for any defects or signs of hijacking. Nothing. Eventually, I decide it’s safe, and send the bots back to their charging station. But I can’t shake the faint, rustling unease that follows me, tugging on the edges of my conscious for the rest of the day.

Chapter 55: Chapter fifty five: top sneaky

Chapter Text

JANUARY

“No, I’m not saying I don’t trust them it was just… I don’t know, unsettling.”
“You think the villains got to them?”
“Maybe... but, like I said, I got nothing.”

Oona and I chat over the sounds of ringing hammers on metal, discussing the strange, completely out of the ordinary behaviour of the Oscarbots. After they cleaned up the forges, I set them to clean the lab, just as a little test. I’m still fixing the damage they did, and I seriously don’t think my lab coat will ever be properly white again. So either I have the weirdest luck in the world, or those bots have been hijacked. And I could not for the life of me tell which option it is, but I’m holding out hard for weird-ass luck. It bugs me, but I can’t really put everything on hold to mull it over as I am want to do, as, alas, duty calls, and these arm guards are not going to cool themselves. The idea that I’m making armour for this is still terrifying. I wonder wether or not this will be remembered in the future. Perhaps our grandchildren will ask us about it, and we will regale them of the tale of the great Odd Squad War. Or maybe it wont be remembered, and in a hundred years only the lucky faithful survivors still working at Odd Squad will remember this. Whoa, wait, survivors? Where did that idea come from? ‘Of course theres going to be survivors!’ I tell myself. ‘Because the villains haven’t declared, and aren’t ever going to declare, death.’ I rub my hand over my face and survey the room, but before I can get a move on with my armour, my badge phone rings. I pick it up and step outside to hear whoever’s on the line.

“Yello?” I say.
“Oscar. Hi.”
“Oh, hey Ms. O! How can I help you?”
“How close are you with that armour?”
“Like to being done? Let me check, hold on.”
I walk back into the forge and hit a large blue button on the wall. A small green screen pops up in front go me, and I skim read it for the information I need. I step outside.
“Another week, tops.” I say.
“Really?” Ms. O says, incredulous. I raise my eyebrows, even though she can’t see it.
“Yes, ‘really’ Ms. O” I say. “In case you forgot, I had to teach the scientists to be blacksmiths, while learning how to be blacksmith myself! So yeah, we are working kinda slow, because literally none of us have done this before.”
“No I-“ she sighs. “That wasn’t a bad really that was a good really. Like, that’s faster than I thought. And coincidentally works out really well, we have an optimal attack time. Can we do next Tuesday?”
“Uhh… factoring fittings and fixing any errors… yes, but I need two more people”
“I’ll send down some security guys. You’re a lifesaver Oscar.”
“Its okay.”
“Great. oh, and Oscar?”
“Yes Ma’am?”
“Get up here and distract your boyfriend. He’s driving me insane.”
“Okay Ma’am.” I laugh, hanging up.

~

Once I’ve gotten the security members settled and shown them the ropes, I scurry out of the forges, through the corridors, and into the bullpen. I have about 0.5 seconds to orient myself before Todd slams bodily into me and drags me by the arm into the lab. I start to object but then he drags me through a door that I swear was not there before, and my suspicions are confirmed when we come out in our little forest glade.

“Help me get out there. On the streets. Infiltrating the villains.” He hisses, and for a second I see a flash of Odd Todd back again. I blink.
“Why-“ I start, but Todd cuts me off. “Because I’m bored Oscar. I’m sick of being cooped up and not helping when this is my fault and I should be helping fix it. I have to do something. Help me.”
“Todd. Stop. Sit down.” I say.
He sits, grumpily.
“Talk.”
“I want to help! I want to do…” He trails off
“You want to do what?” I ask.
“Something. Anything. This whole thing is my fault anyway, I feel like such a dickhe*d for just sitting around doing nothing.”

I frown.

“What do you mean it’s your fault?” I ask.
“I mean… you- I- I broke…” he trails off again, mumbling something unintelligible.
“Huh? What did you break, what’s going on, love?” I ask, concerned.
“There's another… rule.”
“Oh? Are you… are you in any trouble? Di-did something happen?”
“Yeah. Uhm… ah… well… you… there- haha, Don’t feel bad it’s not anything about you but- I- I… I can’t say it.”
“Do you need a hug?” I ask. He nods, and I scoot over to his side. He leans into my chest and I wrap my arms around him. He clings to my waist like a lifeline and sobs into my shirt.

“I’m sorry.” He sobs.
“Woah hey, no it’s okay, it’s alright.”
“No, It’s not okay.” Todd moans. “I f*cked up bad Oscar. This, all of this is my stupid fault!”
“No, no, stop. Stop." I say, kindly, but forcefully enough to get him to snap out of it. "Listen to me. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. You did nothing wrong. The villains have been planning this for months. You didn’t do anything.”
“No, I did though." Todd hisses. "I broke the stupid rule. We became friends. I talked to you outside of a work setting like an idiot. Thats the rule. ‘Don’t talk to the agents outside of a work setting, and under no circ*mstances are you to befriend them.’ Thats the number one rule. Thats THE rule. And I freaking broke it. And I didn’t even mean to. I swore that I wouldn’t get attached, I’d treat it like a business exchange, like I was a therapist. That was it. And then I started getting like… closer to you and wanting to be with you and looking forward to talking to you and the next thing that I knew I was calling you my friend and I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how… and yeah. And I broke it. And I think that the villains really didn’t like that, us being friends. But I did, I do! So I kept seeing you because you make me happy. You make all of this better. So, yeah, this whole war? Basically my fault. I’m sorry.”

“Love. No. Thats not your fault. If anything, it’s mine. I searched you out. I needed your help. I needed answers because I was confused and sad but it’s not your fault.” I say, placing my hands on his shoulders.
“How do you know that?” He asks. “How can you be sure of that?”
“Because we dont know the villains motives. Because I know you. Because everyone f*cks up sometimes. Because everyone here knows that you did the right thing. Because I love you.”
“Are you sure- wait what did you just say?” Todd asks. I blink.
“I said that I love you- oh.”
“Yeah…”
“I- it was an accident?” I say, blushing. “I didn’t really mean to say it not that I didn’t mean it I just-“
“Hey. I love you too.” Todd whispers. I bury my face in my hands, blushing.
“You do?” I choke out.
“Yes. YES! Oscar, darling, I love you so much!”
“I- I love you t- too.” I say, smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. Todd gently cups my face and brings his forehead down to mine.
“I love you.” He repeats. “Have done for god knows how long. You’re amazing.”
“Todd, love? Shut up and kiss me.” I say.
“I thought you’d never ask.” He mutters, crushing his mouth to mine.

~

One cuddle session thats longer than is probably helpful to like anyone else later, but hey, I ain’t complaining, we leave the room, and I drag him down toward the forges to help us make more armour, giggling a bit. Halfway there he stops and leans against a wall. 
“Can I tell you a secret?” He whispers, pulling me against his side.
“Yeah?” I whisper back.
“You know my hair? The white stripe?”
“This beautiful thing?” I mumble, running my fingers through it.
“Yeah. It’s uhhh… it’s not hair dye. Its genetic. I dyed it brown while I was working at Odd Squad the first time. But then I became a villain and just… grew it out. Let it be natural.”
“Its genetic?”
“Yeah… natural. I know a lot of people think it’s dye or bleach or whatnot, but… I thought I should tell you.”
“That. Is. Adorable.” I smile. “Oh my goodness, every time I think I can’t possibly find you more amazing.”
He blushes. “Now you tell me one.” He says. I chew my lip.

“I- I’m not sure. A secret…” I ponder, sucking in a breath. “Oh, I know. Do you remember when you asked me why I was protective of Odd Squad labs?”
“Yeah. You said I’d never get that story because it was really embarrassing but I just assumed it was because you founded them.” Todd says, smiling at the memory.
“Yeah, well it’s partially that. But it’s also because before I became a scientist, I had… sixty-ish different jobs at Odd Squad. And I got fired from every single one of them. So you can imagine how crap that made me feel. like I wasn’t good at anything. And then when I was about to leave, I realised that I was good at something. Agents came to me so that I could fix their broken gadgets. Because I was good at it. And then Ms. O realised that maybe getting agents to make their own gadgets want the best idea. And so she gave me a lab, and things went well, it got introduced at other squads and… yeah. So, I guess I’m protective of it because it gave me a reason to stay, it gave me hope, it made me feel needed, and appreciated. And I don’t want to lose that.” I finish. Todd gives me this small proud smile.
“I will always need you.” He whispers. “And you know what else the lab did?”
“What?” I ask.
“It bought us together. If you hadn’t started it, I never would have met you.”
“Oh my gosh that is so cheesy Todd!” I laugh.
“Yeah. You love it though.”

We move on down to the forges, and recoil a bit from the heat as we enter. I check up on the security guys, who have both made a lovely helmet each. I give them a thumbs up and check on the ever growing, but still too small, armour piles. I pull my lip between my teeth and yell out for more chainmail. An affirming cry comes back to me from someone on the other side of the room and I nod. I replenish the water in the barrels and get on the end of some bellows to heat up a dying forge. Sweating from the work, I shuck off my lab coat and tie it around my waist, and then roll up the sleeves of my shirt up to my elbow. A kid in the corner of the room yelps, and I dash over to see him nursing several burnt fingers. I open a portal and usher him through it, yelling a thank you to Dr. O. Oona is walking around giving advice and corrections to those who need it, and I flash her a thumbs up. I hand Todd several water bottles and tell him to make sure no one gets heatstroke, and then grab my materials to contribute to the cause. We’re using high carbon steel to make our pieces so it won’t be destroyed easily and it’s not exactly the lightest material in the world but hey, anything to keep everyone in tact during these battles.

~

We keep at it until Sunday, following our templates, heating the metal, taking the heated metal out and hammering it into shape, cutting the steel, tempering the metal, joining the plates, polishing the armour, adding padding if theres a need for it. We actually develop quite the system, with parts of the forge room for each different step of the process. Finally, around 6:00 pm on Sunday evening, Orsaans puts the final helmet on the pile of armour, and the room erupts in cheering. I think I high-five everyone in that room before finding a crate to stand on and yelling for quiet. The room hushes.

“Right! Congratulations on your non-stop effort and persistence in this task guys! I am so proud of you, but now we need to make sure everyone has a working, well fit, set of armour. So I’ll need all hands on deck to transport this load to the bullpen. Gadgets out!”
There’s a rustle of lab coats as the scientists reach for their grabinator gadgets. One by one they each grab a pile of armour, and we troop out, amazingly with only one minor explosion that didn’t damage any of the armour, which is a record. We place it in the lab, and I whistle appreciatively at the array of new gadgets that have been created. A couple of them I veto for now because as much as a sword would be great, we don’t need it because death is still not on the cards. Ms. O gives us a thumbs up from her balcony and I grin up at her. Oona pulls a megaphone out of her lab coat and rounds up the agents, even going so far as to risk the Wrath Of Orchid™ by waking her up, which is genuinely, actually, some scary sh*t. But we get everyone outfitted eventually, and there are only a few minor adjustments to be made here and there, which we can do tomorrow but for right now the war council is in session for tomorrows attack.

~

“Okay let’s go over this again.” Ms. O says, pushing her glasses up her nose and downing a juice-box like it’s a shot of liquor, which is honestly scary. “So. Tomorrow morning, before dawn which is…”
“7:42 am.” Olympia says, studying her nails.
“Right, so we go in under cover of darkness, early, 5:00 am at the latest.”
“Far too early for an attack.” Owen grumbles, but he doesn’t push it further. I nod silently in agreement.
“It’s a good time. Early in the morning, after a night of calm, when their defences will be down, under cover of darkness… it’ll work.”
“We know, Ms. O. That does not mean I need to be happy about it. At all.” Owen grumps. Ms. O raises her eyebrows, but ploughs on, undeterred.
“Okay, so. We arrive at their headquarters at 5:00 am at the latest and split into our four groups, which are?”
“Ground, air, backup, and medical.” Dr. O recited, absent-mindedly wrapping, unwrapping and rewrapping a bandage around her wrist.
“Right, and where will our two fugitives be?” Ms. O prods.
Otis scows, but grits out,
“With the backup group, only to go in if it’s absolutely necessary.”
“Good.”
“Ms. O please, can we just be allowed to h-“ Otis begins, but Ms. O scowls at him.
“No, and thats my final word on the matter. You two will stay put with the backup group and if you don’t I’m going to ban you from fighting point-blank. Understood?” She barks, and Todd and Otis nod, rather stiffly and not at all looking like they want to.

“Right. So the air group will jetpack up to the roof and put on their armour whilst the ground troops prepare for a siege.” Ms. O continues. “The ground troops will spread out and surround the bottom of the building, I want at least three agents covering every possible exit. When they’ve spread out the air troops will descend into the building and do a sweep. A very very methodical one, leave no stone unturned! We’re going to sweep the villains out of the building and arrest as many of them as possible. Med group will set up a tent to tend to any wounded, though hopefully with all variables combined we won’t need it, and backup group is on stand by for when the ground troops call for reinforcements but you must stay hidden and out of sight. This is a top-sneaky operation, with means that we have to be fast and quiet. Which means that we cant afford any grumbly tummies, so the agents will need a decent meal and a good sleep. Oksana?”

“You got it Ms. O” Oksana says in that dry way of hers.
“Good. This relies on speed and surprise, so if we move fast we’ll be done in time for brunch.” Oksana opens her mouth to protest but Ms. O cuts her off. “No, I’m not going to make you make brunch too, we’ll just order Delivery Debbies brunch style pizzas.”

“Delivery Debbie has brunch style pizzas!” Otto gapes, and Ms. O nods. “How did I not know this?” He asks Olive, who just shrugs.
“Right then!” Ms. O claps her hands together. “We all clear on our assignments?”
“Yes!” We chorus.
“Any questions?”
“No!”
“Okay! Now go get sleep because I’m going to dig you up at four in the morning to get ready and I don’t want any complaining!” Ms. O says, crossing her arms over her chest.

Chapter 56: Chapter fifty six: Infiltration

Chapter Text

JANUARY

A rough shake pulls me out of my dreamland.
“Whaaa-?” I slur, blinking in the half dark.
“Get up. We have to start.” Ms. O hisses, leaning over me to shake Todd.
“Wha time’s it?” I mumble into my pillow.
“Three forty-five. Come on. Up.”
“Nooo…” Todd growls, flopping himself over me.
“Get. Up. Or I will drag you out of that bed myself.” Ms. O whispers. 
I disentangle myself from Todd and roll my shoulders. Blinking slowly, I rub my eyes, stretch, and flop back down.
“Up.” Ms. O insists. Todd groans “Up. Now.” Ms. O repeats. Todd sniffs the air and then sits up.
“Bacon?” He mumbles, and then sniffs again. “Yes. Bacon. I’m getting up.”
“Good.” Ms. O nods. “Dressed and ready to go in my office in ten minutes.”
“But bacon!” Todd protests.
“When we’ve met and everyone is up, yes.” Ms. O says, turning on her heel to go dig up Ocean. We slowly, and very reluctantly, climb out of our warm bed, and Todd pulls me into a hug.
“Hey sweetheart.” He whispers.
“Good morning love.” I mumble.
He presses a tired kiss to my cheek, and then fumbles in the dark to make the bed while I grope blindly behind my back for a lab-coatinator. It’s not the cleanest or most comfy, but I don’t have an iron on me, and it’ll do in a pinch. Besides, I’ll be wearing armour soon, so presentability is not the top priority right now.

~

Five minutes of hushed giggles and silent curses as we fall over things later, and we’ve made it up to Ms. O’s office where the thirteen of us (minus baby Orson, Oksana and Ms. O) are gathered silently in the half dark. No one looks any happier to be up at this hour than we are, but Oona and I silently bring out the armour and five minutes later everyone is dressed and ready to go. Ms. O walks in just as I’m adjusting the straps of my breastplate with a coffee pot and each of our favourite mugs and if she wasn’t my boss I could actually kiss her. She pours the coffee into the mugs and slides them across the coffee table. I snatch mine up and hold it close to my chest for warmth. 
“Everyone ready?” Ms. O asks. We nod mutely, sipping our drinks.
“Is the bus prepped?” She asks. Oona nods. “Then let’s do this thing. Do no odd.”
“Do no odd.” We chorus. Ms. O takes a swig of her coffee bean flavoured juice box, I wish I was joking, grabs her megaphone, and marches out of her office. We file out after her and take our places around the bullpen. Otto, the closest member of the war council to Orchid looks ready to bolt at any moment, but stands his ground. Ms. O gives us a silent countdown from three as we pull on our earmuffs. As her last finger drops we all simultaneously hit play on our megaphones and the lights snap on. I hold my megaphone out at arms length, prepared for an onslaught of song, but before the lyrics start, there is a full minute of orchestral music that leaves me confused as hell. I’m just about to ask Ms. O about it, but all at once the following lyrics blare out.

“Good mornin',
Good mornin'!
We've talked the whole night through,
Good mornin' good mornin' to you.
Good mornin',
Good mornin'!
It's great to stay up late,
Good mornin', good mornin' to you.”

I don’t know where the song is from but apparently Olympia got woken up to it every morning on a camp she once attended, and it worked a treat. Sure enough, after only a few moments of what I can only describe the alarm clock hell of the mid nineteen-hundreds, the agents slowly, begrudgingly, and with many cries of “Turn that down!” make their way of bed. We do not turn it down, however, until every last agent is up and dressed, which does almost result in mutiny, but it happens eventually. Ms. O shuts off her megaphone and the rest of the council quickly follows suit, causing my ears to practically sing her praises for shutting off that stupid song. Otto slowly climbs down from the rock climbing wall, keeping his distance from Orchid who is… scary, to say the least, when she’s woken up any time before eight in the morning, so we were genuinely risking dismemberment by waking her up four whole hours early. Ms. O stands at the top of the stairs and talks into her megaphone.

“Listen up agents!” She says, wincing a little from the squeal of feedback. “I am well aware that its very early, so I thank you all for tolerating this. However we cannot afford to delay, so I need you all to swiftly dress and then make your way to the cafeteria, followed by the lab to breakfast and then put on your armour, and then assemble back here in fifteen minutes so I may brief you on this mornings procedures. Well, what are you waiting for? GO!”
The agents scramble off in varying stages of panic combined with the a morning haze of sleep of tiredness. I stumble off to the kitchen, scarf down some bacon and bowl of cornflakes, and then wander through to the laboratory. I start moving around, putting the armour into size order and pulling on my converse, and Oona joins me presently, giving everything a last polish before the battle.

~

Once everyone is kitted out and fed we assemble in the bullpen. There’s a minor hiccup regarding Olympia’s lucky shoes which are a shiny pink, orange, and silver in a camouflage pattern but we get it sorted. Ms. O thanks us again for assembling at such a stupid hour and then hands out assignments. I’m in the air group, and although I am reluctant to leave the backup group in case either Otis or Todd tries something dumb, it’s thrilling to be in the action. We troop down to the warehouse where the quad-decker bus that Oona rigged up is waiting and pile in. Ms. O, the only decent driver besides Orson, gets behind the wheel, tells us all to buckle up, and then we zoom out of the garage doors. Oona, sitting next to me, explains how she made the top three levels of the bus invisible, but only once the bus leaves warehouse, and also so it only made as much sound as a regular bus which, she says, was harder than it sounds. I nod and raise my eyebrows, impressed. I have to hand it to her, Oona truly is a spectacular scientist. I’ve never been more proud of any assistant I’ve ever had. We make small talk the rest of the way to the villains base, a rather innocuous apartment building that both Dr. O and I recognise as Villain Estates from our trip to get Jimmy Jinx’s Jinx Cube. We offload from the bus, do a last armour check, and then start to set up camp. I throw on my lab coat over top of my armour and do my best to keep warm. Within moments we have set up a med tent (which everyone hopes we will not need) and a backup tent. The ground crew starts to sneak around to all sides of the building while me and the rest of the air crew strap on our jetpackinators and get ready to go. We take a minute while I try to work the controls (I really have to make labels for these things) but then we’re off.

~

We land on the roof quietly in the predawn light. Owen puts his ear to the ground, listening intently. Eventually he straightens up and gives us the all clear. We shrink our jetpacks, give the signal to the ground crew, and file inside via a small wooden door set into an upright concrete projection. Slowly, we traverse down the metal steps, the only sound the occasional squeak of a shoe on the stairs or a heavy breath. After what feels like hours but is realistically only about a minute or two we come to the first door. And our group splits, five agents for each floor, including the negative floors. Im sent two floors down to floor four with O’Mary, Olaf, Oren, and O’Donnell, who usually only works on Tuesdays but who has, like most tube operators, opted to stay at the Squad full time for the war. I glance over at my comrades-in-arms. Oren pulls out a freezinator, and surprisingly, Olaf looks dead serious. O’Mary and O’Donnell exchange a terse nod. I pull out my shield and Box-‘em-up-inator. Theres several minutes of quiet breathing and nervous looks before Owen gives us the go ahead on our earpieces. Slowly, Oren cracks open the door. We glance around the empty hallway before silently making our way out. O’Donnell stays to guard the elevator and the stairs, and the rest of us methodically make our way down the hallway, checking in every nook and cranny before doubling backwards to check the doors. Me and O’Mary take the left side while Oran and Olaf take the right. Everything goes smoothly for our first few rooms, with no villains in sight.

But as we’re doing the sweep of the fourth room, there’s a crash from across the hallway, a scream from Oren and a high pitched cackle of laughter. Moments later an alarm blares out and the lighting turns a blazing red. O’Mary shoots me a look, and we finish our sweep of the room in double time before bursting out into the hallway, gadgets held at the ready, screaming in sync. That laughter belonged to none other than Jamie Jam who is towering over Oran and Olaf, still laughing maniacally. The elevator at the end of the hallway dings and more villains, drawn to the commotion by the alarms, positively pour into the hall, overwhelming O’ Donnell. O’ Mary takes one look around, shoves me toward the oncoming tidal wave of villains and then body slams Jamie out of the way. My mouth drops open in pure awe as O’ Mary yanks Oran and Olaf up by their arms, shoves a gadget at each of them and then shoulders past me to tackle the villains, yelling for backup. I take a hint, fast, and back myself into a niche in a wall, giving Oran, who still seems to be in shock, an extra push toward the fray. Olaf is fighting tooth and nail, quite literally, which is terrifying, and O’ Donnell has recovered and is now battling Jimmy Jinx, but five agents, one of who is frantically dialling for backup, is not enough. I dance on my toes, whispering frantically under my breath.
“Come on pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up up uppity up up.” I plead. Eventually, Todd picks up.

“Todd here.” He says, and he sounds like he’s running but I’m not sure.
“Hi. Backup. Now.” I say, desperately, firing off a shot at Jamie, who got a little too close for comfort.
“Oh darling, trust me, we know! I’ll try and spread the word that you need more help, but our forces are spread pretty thin. Like, something went wrong on EVERY floor. Try and hold them off as much as you can, gotta go!”
The line goes dead, and I shout in frustration, but there's no chance of conveying this news to the others, not when we’re fighting ten villains who absolutely refuse to back down and for some reason our gadgets are doing less than what they should. I throw myself at Marty Marmalade bodily, taking out my anger at this whole stupid f*ckery on him. I do something stupid and reckless and use multiple gadgets on one person which is, as a general rule, not a good idea. The side effects could be catastrophic. Do I care? No. No, I do not. Marty, who I’ve pinned to the floor, convulses in the rainbow light of the gadgets, flashes a bright, blinding blue, but is back to normal, albeit looking stunned and slightly dazed, a few moments later. I curse and blast him again, which does nothing, and he throws me off. I hit the floor, curling into a foetal position to protect my head before remembering I’m wearing armour and springing back up. Marty has disappeared into the rolling sea of the battle and I’m face to face with a villain I’m not familiar with but who looks like nasty business and who immediately blasts me with a stream of green boxes which leaves me feeling very fuzzy and mixed up, but I can still see and stand fine, and my fine motor skills seem to be working. I stumble backwards and slam into someone, and theres a stilled ring of metal on metal. O’ Mary’s harsh bark of a voice cuts through the sound of the battle in my ear.
“Whats the situation with backup?” She asks, as we take on an older woman, maybe fifty years old, who’s entire demeanour just screams ‘let me talk to your manager.’ She may just be the worst villain we’ve faced yet.
‘Apparently the entire building is pretty screwed over so…” I trail off. O’ Mary scowls. And then O’ Donnell, Olaf, and Oran back into us, the villains close in, and there’s no more time to talk.

~

Despite the armour, we’re all pretty banged up when the three backup crew members arrive about half an hour later, and my insides really don’t feel so hot. But we aren’t done yet, no not by a long shot. The eight of us finish the sweep of the hall and then take the remaining villains down the lift to the ground floor with us, looking at them as threateningly as possible. Which does seem to be working, thanks mostly to O’ Mary who could match Ms. O for intimidation tactics.

The doors ping open on the the ground floor and the villains tumble out into the empty foyer. I scan the foyer.
It’s too quiet.
It's like the whole room is soundproofed, because we should be able to hear the fights going on on other floors and theres just… nothing. I pinch myself to make sure I didn’t pass out. The villains also seem unsettled by the silence that hangs in the air like a dark cloud, but theirs is less apprehensive and more fear mixed with a strange kind of… longing. Which makes me like this whole situation even less. I swallow, and it sounds shockingly loud in the silence. O’ Mary glares at me and I give her a nervous grin. Oran taps his foot. One of the villains clears their throat. I glance around awkwardly. One of the backup crew, O’ Tara, rocks back and forth on her heels. And then the elevator bings open again, and oh yes, there. There is the chaos. I look quickly around at the other agents in the room and exchange a nod with them. We start running to help our friends, leaving Olaf with the villains, but before we take more than five steps forward, a voice screams “Habberflabbengasteren!” And every Odd Squad agent in the room hits the deck. A cold wash of air flows through the room as the roof tunnels open to let in the late winter air. Moments later several small rustling whumps come from overhead, turning the villains eyes upward. Even the agents who forgot the plan and glanced up toward the sounds would (hopefully) stay on task and not attempt to pet the C.A.T.S.s, who are, after all, working. The villains are, however, unaware of our emergency code word and plan, and are taken in hook line and sinker by the C.A.T.S.s. just as we hoped they’d be and a round of awestruck cooing fills the room.

Eventually, the code word "Schmumberfulbtominus" is whispered around, and we turn around to apprehend the villains whilst they’re distracted. With the feline agents distracting the villains we seize our moment and close in upon those villains closest to us. Carefully, I sneak up upon Mr Lightning, handcuffintor at the ready. I inhale deeply, and then with a surge of adrenaline, leap forward and grab his wrist as he laughs at the kitten rolling on the ground in front of him. Mr Lightning’s chuckle cuts off quite suddenly as I zap his hands with my gadget. His eyes look sad and betrayed, like he can’t believe that we would do this, and I’m rather sympathetic with him, actually. The cat tactic was always going to be a last resort, but it’s still a low and dishonest move, and I’m not happy we had to use it.

Around the room there’s sounds of several scuffles dying out, and just as we get the last of the villains rounded up and cuffed, a snaky tendril of plant matter crawls down through the roof. I eye it with suspicion but keep lining up the villains to get them on the bus to be transported to the Odd Squad cells to be held until after this war is over. I keep a tight hold on my gadget and try my best to look threatening as the villains pass onto the bus. Just as the last five have been shuffled into the quadruple-decker bus, however, the viney plants that I had been watching out of the corner of my eye start moving again, more and more of them twisting through the hole in the ceiling, knotting together into a thick vine that resembles a grasping hand. I yell out a warning, and Owen, waiting by the door, yells the warning to the agents outside as the vine hand practically barrels toward the doors. He dives out the way just as the plant-hand smashes through the front of the building like its nothing, and I watch in shock as the hand grabs the bus and wrenches off the top of the bus, grabs out about ten or so different villains and then pulls back toward the hole.

Oona screeches in indignation at the ruination of her bus that took her far too long to weld, Ms. O yells at the plant-hand with righteous anger, Owen gapes open mouthed from the floor, most of the younger agents panic and some of the older agents start running after the plant hand. But it retracts back the way it came faster than they can chase it, and just like that we lost ten villains to a monster plant hand. I swear. Orly, poor kid, starts crying. Ms. O busts out the French profanities, like actual French, and Oona has just sat down in the grass in front of the apartment building and is flat out not moving.

~

Eventually though, we pull ourselves together, load back on the bus, minus the roof, and drive back to HQ. We put the villains into the Odd Squad cells, Ms. O thanks us for our hard work, everyone divests themselves of their armour, Delivery Debbie shows up with a stack of brunch style pizzas, and then we all collapse on the floor, pizzas in hand, utterly exhausted.

Chapter 57: Chapter fifty seven: gentle

Chapter Text

JANUARY

I shut my eyes for what feels like two minutes, but when I open them again I realise that it’s been hours and that Ms. O is yelling at me to GET MY ASS OFF THE FLOOR AND GET TO HER OFFICE NOW! I scramble to my feet, knock a plant off a desk in my hurry, and stumble flat-footedly up the stairs. Ms. O is wearing a bemused expression when I make it to her office and fling myself into my usual spot on the couch, back pressed against Todd’s chest. He winds one arm around my waist, the need for subtlety, not that we were much, in this room at least, forgone.

Ms. O starts the meeting on a high note. It goes rather downhill after that.
“Well team, Congratulations!” She says, smiling. “We won that battle, I believe, which is excellent! On a significantly more… well, odd, note, there were some weird things that happened in that battle, some really really strange things, and I wanna talk about them.” I nod along with the others, but then Olo, ever the pragmatic one, sighs, picks at her fingernails, and then speaks.
“Look, all this ‘weirdness during the battle’, that’s all well and good and if I’m honest, to be expected. I mean we are fighting odd villains for god’s sake. But- but for f*cks sake, WHY? Why us, why now, why a war? I mean, yeah okay fine, the villains want to be able to cause chaos but a war? Why?”

That shuts us all up for a moment. Then Otis shifts forward in his seat and exchanges a look with Todd that says a lot more than anyone really wants it to say, but neither of them speaks.

Finally Ms. O rolls her eyes and crosses her arms across her chest pointedly and Otis gives in.

“Look.” He says. “We really do not know for sure exactly why they started a war… but we have got some educated guesses. They are not pleasant”
“Fire ahead.” Ms. O sighs, resigned. Otis gives her a weak smile.
“Well, this precinct is… well it is the big one. Aside from the Big O’s HQ, this precinct, this is the big one. There is, quite simply, no other HQ with quite as many powerful agents as this one.”
“What?” Olive laughs. “You’re joking, right?”
“Unfortunately, no. we’re not joking.” Todd says. “Look, we have two of the best agents Odd Squad has ever seen, and Oprah, and the founder of Odd Squad labs, and that was before Otis joined, so now we have four of the best agents Odd Squad has ever seen and two, rather significant, reformed villains. We are, putting it bluntly, a walking target. Why do you think villains constantly attack this precinct? Because if you took down Precinct 13579, you won. That was it, Odd squad would be over, point blank.”
“Christ really?” Otto curses.
“That... thats not good.” Oona summarises.
“No it is not, oh my god.” Ms. O says.

She hurriedly excuses herself from the room to make ‘a few important phone calls’ but one minute and forty seven seconds later (which is the exact amount of time it takes to get from Ms. O’s office to the nearest pillow room providing you walk calmly down the stairs and through the bullpen but sprint the rest of the way and also don’t get lost) we hear distant muffled screams of rage. When the muffled screams subside, Olive finally speaks.

“Well then, I guess we have our why. I suppose we need to talk about the weird things that happened during that battle now. Because my word there was a lot.”
“Tell me about it.” O’Malley sighs wearily.

After we’ve thoroughly dissected the strange happenings of the battle, both inside the building and out, we flop back onto pillows, mentally and physically drained. Ms. O joined us just as we finished, but thank god, didn’t make us recount our conversation. I lean my head back against Todd’s shoulder, and he presses a kiss to my cheek and pulls a blanket over us. Theres a gentle lull of conversations as we try out damned hardest to blot out the memory of this morning, because victory or no, it was still terrifying. I breathe heavily, trying to dispel the nausea thats been with me ever since the battle, which I suspect might have been cause by those weird green cubes. If it gets worse, or I still feel the same when I wake up, I’ll get Dr O to check it out.

“You did good today.” Todd whispers to me. A small smile creeps onto my face.
“You did good too.” I whisper back. He hums gently, clearly not happy with his contribution. I poke his side. 
“You did good.” I repeat, twisting to face him. “You followed Ms. O’s orders, you helped out when you needed too, you helped to subdue the villains, and you stayed alive. You did very well today and im proud of you, no matter how little you think you did. It still helped. Okay?”
Todd gives me this half-hearted nod and turns away, clearly dissatisfied with his contribution to the cause, which absolutely WILL NOT do, because he is amazing and wonderful and without the backup crew we would have lost that battle. I gently turn his face toward mine and cup his cheeks with my hands.

“You. Did. Well.” I say, gently, but with a touch of force in my voice too. “And you don’t have to be the MVP of every fight to still have made a significant contribution to the end result. You don’t have to be perfect. Everybody has a role to play, and every person that has a hand in helping is needed and valued. And- and even if you didn’t help, even if you somehow co*cked up the entire operation, which you DIDN’T, it wouldn’t matter because I would still be proud of you. I would be proud of you no matter what. I AM proud of you. Always. I am so lucky to have such a brilliant parter and best friend and I will always be proud of you, No matter what. You hear me? No matter what. I love you.” Todd flushes a light pink and nods.

“I wanna hear you say it back to me.” I say. “You don’t have to be perfect.”
“I- I don’t have to be perfect.” He says.
“Your help is valued.” I say, not taking my eyes off of him.
“My help is valued.” He says.
“Good. Im always going to be proud of you. You don’t have to say that one back to me.” I say. He gives me a weak chuckle. “I love you.” I repeat. He smiles.
“I love you too Oscar.” He whispers. I touch my forehead to his. “Im always proud of you too, for the record. My genius scientist boyfriend.” He says, pressing a light kiss to my forehead. I blush.

Chapter 58: Chapter fifty eight: Special delivery service

Chapter Text

JANUARY

I feel horrendous when I wake up, like I’m about to chuck my guts up, so I press my fist to my mouth and waddle out to the med bay. Dr. O looks me over and points me over to a bench seat, where I sit down and hold my stomach, trying my very best not to throw up. Dr. O puts a bucket in front of me, tells me to sit tight for five minutes, and then sweeps back over to the bedside she’s hovering over. I scan the room and realise that the med bay has been expanded to fit more agents, and there isn’t a single nurse sitting idle. None of the agents in here look healthy, and all of a sudden I’m kind of self-conscious about coming in here just because my tummy feels bad. But then my stomach lurches in such a way I feel like it’s been thrown off a hundred meter cliff into a boiling hot ocean and I realise that it’s probably for the best that I stay here. I’m also Appalled with a capital ‘A’ at the sheer level of damage the villains managed to inflict on us, while we could do basically nada in defence because they were definitely, annoyingly, resistant to our gadgets. I resolve to talk to Oona about creating some seriously better quality armour. As I’m thinking this, my stomach lurches again and I lean over and retch into the bucket.

When I stop shaking and straighten up, its to an odd sight. A junior nurse, whose name I cant quite recall, has draped me in a blanket and is standing about a meter and a half away, talking in hushed, concerned tones to a senior nurse, O’Philly, about what seems to be the bucket that I just threw up in. I press my lips together and raise my eyebrows, and then walk slowly over to their table. O’Philly gives me an awkward smile. I plonk myself down on a chair next to them and rest my chin on my palm. The junior nurse, whose name tag reads Oleyna, shoots a look at O’Philly that very clearly says ‘do we tell him?’ O’Philly rolls their eyes at Oleyna and the turns to me.

“How are you feeling?” They ask, gently. I tell them that I’m feeling a lot better than I was twenty minutes ago and they nod in approval.
“Thats good, and to be expected. Now Oscar, do you have any idea what this might be?” They ask, tilting the bucket towards me. I frown at it. Inside is not, as one would presume, throw up, but instead a glowing green cube, with its sides about the size of my hand is pulsating gently at the bottom of the bucket. And it is the grossest sh*t I’ve ever seen, not least of all because it came from my body. I tent my fingers under my chin and furrow my brow, studying the green object intensely. Finally I shake my head.
“I’d have to study it back at the lab.” I say. O’Philly glances at me, at the cube, back at me, chews their tongue, crosses their arms across their chest, and glances back at me once more.
“Hmmm.” They hum. “I’ll check you over and if you’re clear, go for your life.”
I give them a thumbs up and sit myself down on a chair. O’Philly gives me a quick check-up, declares me good to go, hands me the bucket, and I waltz out of the med-bay and slide down the steps to the lab.

~

Twenty minutes later I’ve run every conceivable test on this… thing to absolutely no avail. I have NO IDEA what this thing is. I call Oona down to help me examine it and pull out a magnifying glass to try to get a reading on the fine details, hoping for some small clues that might help me work out what it is. I get nada, bar a small indistinguishable blob right about the centre of the cube. Oona rocks up and I hand her the magnifying glass and tell her about the blob. She squints through the magnifying glass, pokes at the cube with one fingernail, frowns, and then turns to me.
“Well, there looks like there’s something in there. I got no clue what it is, but it seems to me like it would be okay to use… certain means of force to… extract it.” She looks at me and grins wickedly. I mirror her smile.

“D’you wanna break something?” She says.
“God, do I ever.” I respond, crouching down by my lab bench and sliding a key through my fingers.

~

CRASH!
“Finally!!” Oona yells, pumping her fist in the air elatedly. I clamber out from behind the lab bench, covered in dirt and grime and scramble over to the shattered cube and pick up the small, black and red object that was inside it. It’s what looks like a hemispherical speaker that fits in my palm with a small button on the curved edge. I look at Oona. Hours of effort, of trying sh*t that is very definitely slightly illegal, of wearing the cube down bit by bit, all for… what exactly? No idea. It could be a speaker. It could be a microphone. It could be anything. We sigh in unison, and pull out the testing equipment.
“Alright.” I say, cracking my knuckles. “Let’s do this.”

~

When we’ve run every test under the sun on the object, it’s pretty clear that it’s just a speaker. Disappointingly. At this points its stupid O’clock at night but I’ll be damned if I deprive myself of sleep for nothing, so we take the object up to Ms. O, who’s halfway through a boardgame with one of her assistants. She looks up when we walk in though and immediately gets us chairs.

“There you two are. You look exhausted, where have you been all day?”
Oona gestures at me weakly, so I sit up slightly straighter in my chair, place the speaker on the table between us, and explain. Ms. O listens with a furrowed brow, and then sighs.
“Well done.“ she says, gently, “but please guys, don’t work yourselves to death.”
“Ah well, thats part of the job now, ain’t it?” I joke, ruefully. “We don’t know whats on that speaker, we figured you’d wanna listen to it.”
“Too right.” Ms. O says, leaning over the desk to her phone. she picks it up, dials a number, and then speaks into the phone.
“Hello team. Sorry to bother you at this hour but we’ve had a development. Im going to need you in my office stat. Yes, I’m sorry agent Orson, but it’s an emergency. Yes I know. Yes, it’ll be quick. Okay.”

When the crew is assembled Ms. O and Oona give them the run down while I just collapse in Todds arms, exhausted. He hoists me up bridal style and carries me over to our spot. I don’t move from his lap when he sits, I kinda just, drape myself a little more comfortably over him.
When we’ve all been briefed, Ms. O licks her lips, swallows, and then gingerly presses the button. Theres a tinny squeal of feedback and we all clap our hands to our ears and wince. But the squeal gives way to a girls voice, maybe a teenagers, who sounds… scary. Dangerous.

“Give me that!” She hisses. Theres a sound of something being thrown, a throat cleared. “Thanks.” She growls. Then she speaks to us. “Hello Odd Squad. I do hope you’re well, and I do hope you’ll excuse my rudeness in not introducing myself but there is value in… privacy, is there not? Oh and to the agent who, ahem, delivered this, I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry. After all, I had to get it to you guys somehow. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know who you’re up against. I mean I’m going for world domination here but I am nothing if not fair. By my last estimate my villains, or the villains working for me, well, its most of the North American villains? Give or take fifty-odd. So you guys are up against a continent of villains, so I really would consider reinforcements if I were you. Or don't, I mean hey, I’m a villain right? I can’t ever be trusted, right? Either way it’s your choice. I've got plans to make so I will be seeing you losers later.” The audio cuts out. Todd, Otis and Ms. O all look awkward.

“Well.” Olive sighs. “I suppose we’ll need reinforcements then."

Chapter 59: Chapter fifty nine: Here come the reinforcements

Chapter Text

FEBRUARY

The next morning I swear Ms. O calls every other O in a hundred kilometre radius, but do we care? No. God no. We need all the help we can get, or my word we will get our ass handed to us. Oona and I make our way to the lab where I sit her down and lay out my plan.
“Here’s the dealio.” I say, leaning forward and propping my elbows on my knees. “Those villains f*cked us up last battle and retained literally no damage. And that armour that we made is not gonna cut it any longer. I have an idea. It’s stupid dangerous. I’ve discussed it with some of the other scientists but no-ones ever tried it. Are you down?”
“What is it?” Oona asks, matching my conspiratorial tone.
“You know the stuff that gadgets use? The light?” I say.
“That stuff? Isn’t it like, magic?” She asks.
“God I need to teach you the theory of gadget light better, but essentially yes.” I respond. “We could, hypothetically make a protective suit out of gadget light but it’s so so risky. Unconfined gadget light is… weird, and if it’s unconfined for too long then…” I trail into silence.
“Right…” Oona says. “Would it work?”
“If we got it right…. And theres like a 15 percent chance we can even get it usable, uhhh… maybe.”
“Maybe? You wanna risk our lives on a fifteen percent chance and a maybe!?” She says, incredulous. I blink.
“Ahhh, well I mean, If everyone else is down, yes.”
Oona raises one eyebrow and chews the inside of her cheek for a lonnng moment. I reconsider my ability to censor my stupid ideas.
“Would the others be down?” She finally says.
“Look, Odelia thinks it’s… a questionable idea, but she’s pretty brave. Odie is down for anything, Ogglethorpe is… Well they’re one of a kind. O’Quincy came up with the idea, O’Conner is a rule follower so I’m going to get berated from him about everything I’ve done in the past month and a half anyway, and O’Becca, I’m not sure, we will see when she gets here.” I say.
“Well, thats an interesting conclusion.” She says, and she sounds dubious but I see the light in her eyes.
“It does, but it’s me, and Odelia, and Odie, and O’Quincy, so even if you aren’t in, its 50/50. And, I know that you aren’t totally against it. You were the one who decided to work at the same Odd Squad as me. You have to be some kind of crazy to do that.”
“You’re not that bad Oscar. Look, if you really think it’ll work at least marginally better, I’m down.”
“Really?” I ask.
“Really.”
“Hell yes.” I grin. “Operation stupid ass science is a go.”
“Oh god I regret this already. Let’s do it.”

~

The O’s arrive within a few days, bringing their agents with them, and of course, their scientists. After the preliminary introductions and having dealt with an outburst on the part of one Mr. O from two precincts over because we have two old villains working with us, I snatch the scientists up and sweep them into the lab. Once everyone’s settled, and once they’re done fawning over Possum, who wanders in just as I’ve restored order and gives this adorable little mew like the little angle she is, which takes a moment, I begin. The other scientists are silent as I talk, so quiet that I almost forget that they’re there. It’s only Oona’s quiet cough when I start rambling that gets me back on track and keeps me there. When I finish, the silence is thick and tense. Finally, O’Quincy breaks the silence.

“It’ll work.” He says.
“Will it though?” O’Conner shoots back. “You want it to work O’Quincy, we all know that, you’ve wanted it to work since day one, but wanting something to work and it actually working are not the same thing.”
“I know they aren’t but it will work.”
“How can you be so sure?” O’Becca asks.
“I just- know.” O’Qunicy says. I nod sagely. I’ve personally always thought it could work because I learnt a long time ago that if O’Quincy has a hunch, it’s probably worth following up on. So if O’Quincy thinks this a good Idea, I’m in. But I don’t get a chance to say anything before my lab erupts into an argument, even some of my junior scientists joining the debate.

“Woah woah woah!” I shout. “Everybody shut up!” The lab falls silent. “Thank you.” I say. “If you work in my lab and you name isn’t Oona, back to your stations please. And the rest of you, shut up and listen. I didn’t want to play this card, but I am the creator of the science department. And- and I trust O’Quincy’s hunches. So if he thinks it’ll work, I’m willing to try it, and if you want to disagree, you all know where the exit is.” No one says anything. “So thats settled then? We’re going to try this? Because I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not going to stand around and let Odd Squad fall to the villains. If it was your squad, wouldn’t you do anything to protect it?” There’s a round of mute nods. “Good.” I say. “Because this decision affects us all. So are gonna defy the laws of physics or are we just going to stand around cowering because we were too afraid of a challenge!?” The scientists break into cheers of ‘defy the laws of physics!’ I pump my fist into the air. When the cheering subsides, all eyes turn to O’Quincy.

“Well?” Odelia says. “What are you waiting for?”
O’Quincy gives us a grin that would make satan wet his pants, and pulls out three roles of butchers paper a meter wide and ten centimetres thick.
“Let’s get down to business.” He smirks.

~

“Test number one-five-seven.”
The call rings through the lab and I pop up from behind my lab bench to run to the test room, calling a hurried apology to Dr. O, who is really fed up with our sh*t now. The other scientists, and our next test subject in the cycle, Omar, are assembled in their places. I slap on my headset and speak through it to Omar and O’Quincy.
“Test one-five-seven, Operation Gadget Armour is about to commence. Test subject 26, Operation leader, are you ready?” I ask.
“Ready!” They reply.
“Safety functions of the gadget are on?”
“Affirmative.” Comes O’Quincy’s reply.
“Test subject 26 and Operation leader are both wearing the correct protective gear?”
“Affirmative.”
“All other scientists are behind the safety shield?”
“Affirmative!” They chorus.
“Very good. Operation leader, you are all clear to commence test one-five-seven, I repeat you are all clear to commence test one-five-seven.”
“Roger that Oscar. Now commencing test one-five-seven.”
“Roger that.” I switch off my headset, flip down my protective goggles, and give O’Quincy one last ‘all clear’ thumbs up. He nods, turns to face Omar and presses the button on the gadget. There’s a pulse of blue light, and Omar jerks upward. He lands on his feet, stumbles, steadies himself, and then gives us a shakey thumbs up. I flip my goggles up and turn my headset back on.
“How you doing champ?” I ask.
“So far, I’m not displaying any negative symptoms. If anything the armour is a little tight, but not uncomfortable. I feel a-okay!”
“That’s good. We’ll monitor you for the next 24 hours and if you’re doing alright we will proceed with the next phase of the test.”
“Alright!” Omar smiles. I reluctantly let myself smile. We haven’t got this far in over 150 tests, but we’ve got a while to go yet.

~

Half a week later everyone in the lab breathes a huge sigh of relief. After running test after test on subject after subject, the results are conclusive.
“I can’t believe it.” O’Becca says. “It worked.”
“Told you!” O’Quincy laughs, sprawled on the floor of the lab. “I- am a f*cking genius!”
“And all it took was two weeks and a hundred and fifty seven tries.” Ogglethorpe says.
“Nap time?” Oona asks.
“Nap time.” We all agree

Chapter 60: Chapter sixty: The War Council, updated

Chapter Text

FEBRUARY

When I wake, it’s to Owen nudging me with his foot in the small of my back.
“Oscar, you gotta get up man, Ms. O wants a War Council meeting. Bring that gadget y’all have been working on.” I roll over sleepily. “C’mon mate, you gotta get up.” He insists.
“Hold on hold on.” I say, scrambling to my feet. I grab the gadget, shake Oona and O’Quincy awake, and then the four of us jog up the stairs to Ms. O’s office. I blink when I step in. The war council has sextupled. I smile awkwardly and look around the room. My usual spot on the end of the couch is taken my another Ms. O, but thankfully Todd’s standing in the corner and when he sees me floundering he extends his hand. I squeeze through the crowds and go to stand next to him. He shoots me a grin.
“Hey. Feel like I’ve barely seen you these past few weeks.” He says.
“I know. I’m sorry.” I say, draping my arm around his shoulders.
“It’s alright. But you do owe me.”
I laugh, and Todd pulls me into his side and kisses my cheek.
“I've missed you.” He says, just above a whisper.
“I missed you too love.” I say, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“ALRIGHT PEOPLE!” Ms. O yells above the chatter. We all fall silent, turning our heads towards her. “Clearly, this amount of people as a war council is not going to work. So we’re gonna need a cull. I will be staying, for obvious reasons. I would also keep Oscar, as creator of the science department, as well as Otis and Todd as our resident experts on the subject of villainy. Other than that, feel free to make your cases on why you should stay in the council.”
The agents and O’s around the room begin to make their cases, and Ms. O listens patiently.

~

When it’s all over and all the best people have been picked the council consists of Ms. O, Me and Todd, Otis, Olympia, and Dr. O from our precinct, Odelia from precinct 13580, Orsac from the glue department, and O’Cally, Tube operator, from precinct 13578, Orwin, security department, from precinct 13581, Onyx and Orion, creature guys, and Oswin, maintenance team, from precinct 13582, O’ Reilly, maintenance, Mr. O AKA Orville, and O’ Lally, head chef, Precinct 13577, and finally O’ Milo from Precinct 13576 who is part of the doors department, which I did not know was a thing and, judging from Ms. O’s reaction, she didn’t either. But we want someone from all departments to be there, so he’s in.

When the rest have been dismissed, and when me and Todd have finally, finally, reclaimed our spot on the couch, Ms. O starts the war council. Again. 
“So. Welcome to the war council. There’s a lot that’s been going on. Like, a lot, a lot, and, almost none of it has been fun. I will not go into the details because you do not need to hear that, but there are some things you should know. Number one. Any agent physically over the age of ten can be- well there isn’t an easy way to say it- hurt. We ah, well we are trying to fix that and to minimise the damage. And, to be quite honest we might... well we don’t know what we’ll do if they- if it gets to the point where death is an option. Where we might… die.”
There is a long and rather uncomfortable pause.
“Well then.” O’Cally says. “I guess we need to win this war before that happens then huh?”
Ms. O smiles.
“I guess we do.” She says.

“So then.” Onyx asks. “When you say ‘working on minimising the damage’ what exactly does that mean?”
“Well…” Ms. O starts. And then stops. “You know what, I’ll let Oscar and Odelia explain it.”
I gesture to Odelia, who rolls her eyes, smiles, and holds out her hand for the gadget. I toss it across the room and she takes it and explains.

“Full credit to O’ Quincy for coming up with this idea years ago, the brilliant bastard, but we’ve created an armour out of gadget light. It’s practically indestructible, it deflects other gadget attacks, and as a bonus point it looks sick as hell. It was tricky to get it right, but we did it.”
“Three cheers to sleep deprivation for the sake of science and safety.” I say, tiredly.
“Seriously?” Todd asks, sitting bolt upright. “You’re joking right? Tell me you’re joking.”
Odelia hums awkwardly. I stare at the floor. Todd makes a frumpy noise in the back of his throat and pulls me tighter.
“We are going to bed straight after this.” He mutters grumpily. “No boyfriend of mine is going to lose sleep just for a gadget.”
“Alright fine.” I whisper. “But shush. Odelia’s still talking.”
Todd grumbles something but shuts up.
“So then. Putting aside our… questionable sleeping patterns over the past few weeks, yes, we have developed gadget light armour.”
Ms. O furrows her brows. “Isn’t that-“
“Physically impossible? Yeah, we did it anyway.”
“That should be the scientists motto.” I say. Odelia laughs. Ms. O hums, somehow conveying being impressed but also skeptical at the same time in one short sound.
“Well. Physical impossibilities aside, are we sure that this will work? Is it safe? No offence, I hope?” She asks.
“None taken Ms. O.” I chuckle. “Yeah, we’re reasonably sure it’s safe, we ran a fair few tests on that thing.”
“Good. Then we’ll use that next battle.”

Before she can say anything else, there’s a frantic knock on her office door. We all turn our heads and O’ Milo, sitting closest to the door, gets up to let a very very out of breath O’ Callaghan in. He’s wearing an expression of complete and utter panic.
“Ms. O! Ms. O! We got a problem in the tube lobby!” He gets out, between gasps of air.
“Talk to me O’ Callaghan.” Ms. O says.
“It’s better if I show you.” He pants. “And bring the scientists too.”

Chapter 61: Chapter sixty one: Trouble in the Tubes

Chapter Text

FEBRUARY

Ms. O, Odelia, and I race out of her office after O’ Callaghan, who took off about 0.5 seconds after delivering his news. We skid through the trophy room, race down the corridor, and barrel into the Tube Lobby.

“What seems to be the problem?” Ms. O asks, and I get the weirdest feeling hearing her say those words that are so commonly said by the agents, but never by the director. O’ Donnell gives us a frazzled smile.
“Oh thank god you guys are here. Somehow, the villains have redirected the tubes!” She says, rapid-fire.
“What do you mean?” Ms. O asks.
“No matter what we do, the tubes redirect their occupant to the villains HQ!”
“Have you blocked off tube access?” Ms. O asks. O’ Donnell looks at O’ Conner, sitting at the controls and pushing buttons. He nods, once.
“Yes,” O’ Donnell says, “but we lost a few agents before we blocked it.”
I sputter in disbelief. After what happened to me and Todd, and they have the AUDACITY to kidnap MORE agents!?

“We have to get them out of there.” I say, furiously, looking at Ms. O and daring her to challenge me.
“We will, Oscar, don’t worry. Who do they have?” She says. I breathe out a long sigh of relief. Good.

“Uhh, last we know of they’ve got five or six agents, I couldn’t tell you who though. O’ Conner and O’ Brady are working on it.” O’ Callaghan says.
“I told you, we should’ve installed that Agent ID checker.” O’ Malley says from the corner of the room where he’s inspecting a sword, that looks like it’s come from one of the two piles on either side of him.
“Shut up O’ Malley!” O’ Conner and O’ Brady call in unison. O’ Malley rolls his eyes and goes back to his swords.

“Okay. Okay. Here’s what we’re doing.” Ms. O says. “I want all hands on deck, finding out who the agents are. I’ll get Todd and Otis, and find out where the f*ck the villains are. Oscar, Odelia, get the scientists, round up the best agents, I’m gonna need everyone, I get the feeling this’ll be tough. Oh, and we’re gonna need that new armour.”
“Sounds dangerous.” I say.
“Sounds chaotic.” Says Odelia.
Ms. O grins the grin of someone who runs exclusively on juice and chaotic-good energy.
“Sounds like an Odd Squad kinda party.” She says.

~

Odelia and I slip out of the tube lobby and begin rounding up the agents and the scientists. I pull O’ Quincy out from the lab and slap the armour gadget into his hands.
“Everyone on your feet!” I say, forcefully, but not unkindly. The assembled scientists scramble to their feet. I smile around at them.
“Whats the smile for Oscar?” Oona asks.
“That, Oona m’dear, is the smile of ‘we’re about to kick some villainous butt' You ready?”

Chapter 62: Chapter sixty two: Hostages

Chapter Text

FEBRUARY

Ms. O surveys the War council with a cold determination in her eyes. The tube operators are huddled in one corner, still desperately trying to track down which agents were missing. Todd’s curled up behind me running his fingers through my hair as I frantically write down, scribble out, and re-write numerous important equations. Odelia’s leaning over the couch correcting me when I need it, and otherwise smirking implicatively at me and Todd. She’s very perceptive, confronted me about him the day she got here, and Odelia’s one of my best friends, so I spilt the beans. It gets easier with every person I tell, which is comforting.
“Gah, f*ck.” I hiss. “Ugh, I just can’t get this right!” I scribble out a line of equations.
“Here.” Odelia says, pointing at one of my previous lines of working out at a negative sign I missed. I roll my eyes.
“Always with the bloody negatives.” I growl, crossing out the lines after the mistake. “Thanks Odelia.”
“You’re welcome boss” she says. Todd shushes us both with a finger on my lips and a warning glance at Odelia.
We fall silent as Ms. O begins to speak.

“So. It has come to our attention that we have unfortunately… lost some of our agents due to a surprise redirection of the tubes.”
“Thats putting it VERY LIGHTLY!” O’ Callaghan calls.
“Thank you, O’ Callaghan.” Ms. O sighs. “Now. We don’t know who, or where, these agents are, but we have people working on it. And we have a plan.”
“It’s a sh*t plan Oprah.” Mr. O says.
“Orville, I will thank you not to swear in front of the agents, and yes, I am very aware of the stupidity of this plan. It is the only plan we have, and it’s going to work. Oscar, do you have those calculations?”
“Working on it!” I call, scribbling out yet another line of calculations.
“Good. Now, they have five of our agents and we have about twenty of their villains. And what are we going to do with that?”

“A hostage exchange.” Orwin says, clicking his fingers like a lightbulb has gone off in his head.
“Bingo!” Ms. O says. “A hostage exchange. They give us our people, we give them theirs, everybody goes home happy.”
“Why- why would we give them back their people?” Dr. O says.
“Because it’s the only way we’re getting back ours, do you get that? I don’t like it anymore than you do, really, I don’t, but I will not leave ANY of the agents under my care behind. I will not do that.”
“It’s gotta be calculated then.” Orwin says. “We have to- we have to do this very very carefully. We have to make sure that we give them villains that they’ll want back, powerful villains, but not too powerful, not so powerful that we can’t- that we’re disadvantaged by it.”
“Exactly.” Ms. O says.

“Wait, wait wait wait wait.” Otis says, waving his arms in the air to get our attention. “How do we know that they’ll even say yes? I mean… Look. I know the villains. And if their new leader is any good, which... they probably are, they’re absolutely not going to agree to a hostage exchange, not unless you give them something they really really want.”
“Oh, I know.” Ms. O says.
“Ms. O. Whatever you’re thinking I need you to stop thinking it right now.” I say.
“Too bad Oscar.” Ms. O says. “I’ve already started.”
“Ms. O. NO.” Otis says. “You’re not doing this. You’re not.”
“You CAN’T!” Olympia says.
“I have to- wait. What do you three think I’m going to do?” She asks.

“Sacrifice yourself.” We say in unison.

“What?” She laughs. “No, god no. I was just going to offer them a fake tube map.”
“Oh.” We say, awkwardly. “Well.”
Ms. O just laughs. “Honestly, you three… dumbasses. Good lord.”
“Well, that would do it.” Todd says. “Villains and a faked tube map in exchange for our agents, they’d take you up on that, I reckon.”
“Good. Then that’s what we’ll do.” Ms. O says, confidently.
“Thats what we’ll do.” Mr. O says. “How are we getting them to… agree?”
“I’ll be real with you Orville, we’ve been using news crews for almost everything, communication-wise, with this war.” Ms. O says.
“A news crew works.” Mr. O concedes.

While this exchange is going on, I’m frantically writing out the last line of the last equation I’m working on. I turn my notebook toward Odelia. She gives me a thumbs up, and I carefully write out the finished equations on a fresh page.

“Which villains would they want?” Onyx asks.
“Follow up question, which villains do we have?” Orion says, twisting his arm to keep the small, lizard-like creature crawling upon it entertained.
“A lot of number villains.” Orwin says. “But also, Rainbow Robin, Mr Lightning, Circle Sue, Noisemaker, I think? I’ll double check that. And then Flamingo Freya, Mr Picasso, Evil Mime, Aarti Craft, and Underwater Wanda.”
“Right.” Ms. O says. “Well I don’t trust any of the villains as far as I can throw them and I would prefer to give back all number villains, but that won’t be a viable trade. So. Mr Lightning and Noisemaker are out immediately.”
“I would cut Aarti Craft from the list too.” O’ Lally says. “She once turned all the agents in Chicago into paper dolls!”
“Oh… Goodness.” Ms. O says. “Well that… thats yeah, she’s out.”
“We should keep Evil Mime in.” Orwin says. “They’re dangerous, but not overly so. And I would put in at least one number villain.”
“Okay. So Evil Mime, let’s say… Frida Fiver? Who else?”
“Rainbow Robin.” Otis says. “She’s a weather villain, yes but, not a very dangerous one.”
“And I would put in Circle Sue and Underwater Wanda.” Todd says. “Ive seen those two in action, they… well they've got... spirit... but they don’t do much.”
“Okay then!” Ms. O says, giving us all a thumbs up. “I’ll call a news crew, we can set a date and make this work. Oscar, calculations?”
“Got ‘em!” I say, triumphantly, holding my notebook up proudly.
“Excellent. Hopefully those will fix the tubes. Any luck with the missing agents?”
“We’re narrowing it down. There’s a lot of agents to go through.” O’ Donnell says.
“Okay.” Ms. O says. “Keep trucking with that. You guys are dismissed, go get some rest.”

Chapter 63: Chapter sixty three: trade on the river sticks

Chapter Text

MARCH

A week later we have a meeting set up for the hostage exchange, and we actually have clarity on who the taken agents are. The villains have Agents Otto, (which scared a lot of people, including me,) Opal, Octavian, Ohlm, (which no-one is surprised at) and Agent Orly, which makes me livid. That kid is so young. But the date is set, and so on March fifth, about half the agents, along with all the O’s set out to the hostage exchange.

We set out through the streets of Toronto to High Park. I try to enjoy the scenery of early spring, but my nerves are on edge. Todd holds my hand the whole way and points out all the new leaves and the birds singing. It makes me smile, and but for a moment I can pretend that I’m just a normal boy, hanging out with my boyfriend. And then I look around at all my friends surrounding me, clothed in the Odd squad uniform, a pale blue shimmer of gadget armour surrounding them, and I remember why we’re here.

Still, I try my best, and focus on the simple things. The birds singing in harmony. The patches of melting slush under my boots. The sturdy feel of Todd’s hand clasping mine. The sparkle in his eyes when they catch the light, just like that. That stupid pretty streak of white in his hair, whiter than paper, white as snow.

~

All too soon, we arrive at High Park. Ms. O leads us to a secluded bridge, near a clump of cherry blossom trees, to the wester side of the park. The bridge runs over a dry patch of ground, where there is a pond, or a river of some sort usually, but currently the only river under the bridge is a river of sticks. We assemble on the eastern side of the bridge and set up blockades around the area, diverting tourists and Toronto citizens alike away from our meeting point, unwilling for anyone to witness this exchange. We fan out. Ms. O, the partners of the captured agents, and of course Dr. O and her nurses stand at the front. Ms. O checks her watch. We arrived five minutes early, but even so, Ms. O looks anxious. I don’t blame her. It's an anxious kind of day.

~

The villains arrive five minutes later on the dot and assemble on the west side of the bridge. Ms, O steps out onto the bridge. Shapeshifter, leading the villains in place of their ever elusive actual leader.
“Shapeshifter.” Ms. O greets.
“Oprah.” Shapeshifter says.
“You have our agents?” Ms. O asks, coldly.
“Safe and unharmed. You have the villains and the tube map?” Shapeshifter says, matching Ms. O’s tone.
“Yes. Bring them forwards.” Ms. O orders. The security team drag the villains forwards, not roughly, but forcefully enough. One by one the villains cross the bridge and rejoin their comrades. The villains look happy, even excited, at their friends rejoining them, which surprises me, although it probably shouldn’t. They are human, and I think I forget that sometimes.
Shapeshifter holds out her hand for the tube map. Ms. O growls.
“Our agents first. Then the map.” She says. Shapeshifter rolls her eyes but gestures behind her.
The villains part ranks and five, small, terrified agents stumble forth. Shapeshifter unlocks their handcuffs one by one and lets them come running across the bridge. As each agent comes across they’re engulfed by the rest of us, and wrapped in hugs and reassurances. When Otto comes stumbling across the bridge Olive cries out for joy and the two of them dissolve into a sobbing, tangled heap on the bridge. Finally, Orly walks forward, gets his hands uncuffed, and starts to walk across the bridge. Orletta shouts out joyfully! But then... stops.

Orly’s stopped, quite suddenly, in the middle of the bridge.

He looks down at his feet, which seem to be caught in some branches. He lifts up a foot, and the branches come up with it, shifting and moving so they look as though they’re trying to engulf his foot. It’s yanked back down to the bridge quite suddenly, and he stands there, struggling against the branches. Then, the villains flanks break, and Shapeshifter skitters sideways, looking terrified.
Through their ranks comes a girl. She's about seventeen, with long, silvery blond hair to rival Draco Malfoy’s, standing five foot nine in six inch platform boots, dressed totally in black, with a long black cape with silver trim, and a hood that covers her face. She’s shorter than a lot of the villains, but she radiates danger. One of her hands is clenched at her side, emanating wisps of green smoke.

“Hello.” She says, nicely enough, but I shudder. I know that voice. How could I not? I threw it up. Ms. O recognises it too.
“Hello.” She says coldly.
“Oprah.” The girl coos. “It has been too long.”
“Do I know you?” Ms. O asks. The girl growls.
“You should. But perhaps you might recognise me better without the hood.” The girl says. She takes off her hood and shakes out her hair. She has soft, features, and is pretty attractive, objectively speaking, but her eyes are a solid emerald green, the same colour as the smoke coming from her fist. I’m talking no whites, no pupil, just green.
Ms. O shakes her head. The girl scowls and clenches her hand tighter. Her eyes glow a slightly fiercer green and the branches crawl up Orly’s slight frame. Ms. O's shoulders bunch and she glares daggers at the nameless girl.
“Look, unless you’re going to introduce yourself, how about we cut the theatrics, and you let my agent go." She says. "I’ll give you the tube map, and we can all just go home.”
“Will you though?” The girl asks. “Will you REALLY give me the tube map?”
“Of course.” Ms. O says.
“I don’t think you would.” The girl says. “I think you mean to trick us.”
“I would not. On my honour as a director.”
The girl snorts.
“Yeah right.” She says. “On your honour. Unfortunately, villains don’t think much of the honour of those who take in traitors.” Her eyes flit over to Otis and Todd. “You know what? Since I’m feeling really generous, I’ll give you one more chance. My name is Scarrlet. Do you remember me now, Oprah?”

Ms. O stares blankly at Scarrlet, who, upon receiving this look, spits on the ground at Ms. O's feet, and lifts her hand, the one that’s giving off green smoke. The branches surrounding Orly leap up to his head. Orletta screams and rushes forward, but is stopped in her tracks by more sticks. The security team pull out gadgets and riot shields, and the crowd parts like the Red Sea to let them through.

Before they can do anything though, Scarrlet fixes Ms. O with the most expressionless gaze ive ever seen, and twists her hand sharply in the air. There's a snap. Orlys head jerks to the side. Scarrlet drops her hand, the branches around Orly and Orletta fall with a clatter to the ground, and he hits the ground with a sad thump. Dr. O pushes past Ms. O and bends down beside him. She feels around his neck, checks his pulse point, and then presses her ear to his chest.

Finally, she turns to us, tears in her eyes. She opens her mouth, shuts it again, and finally just shakes her head.

Orletta screams.

It's a gut-wrenching sound, and she tries to rush forth to her partner, but at a glance from Ms. O, O’ Callaghan and O’ Donnell grab her. My brain feels like it’s stopped working.
“How could you?” Ms. O asks, a tremble in her voice of barely bridled rage. “How COULD you!?” She shouts. Scarrlet just laughs, high, and cold, and cruel.
“Times are a-changing Oprah.” She says. “And this war is a real war now. Good luck.”
She turns, and melts back into the crowd of villains, who turn and follow her out of High Park.

~

We’re all left standing, shocked into silence. I blink, and stare at the ground, avoiding the broken form of Orly on the bridge. And, oh god, Orletta. She’s screaming, hitting O’ Callaghan and O’ Donnell, desperate to get to her partner. Dr. O just sits there, next to Orly’s… body. Todd pulls me into him. I just stand there, unable to cry, feeling useless. Surely Orly’s not really… dead, right? Surely this is all some horrid dream, right?

And then Ms. O, standing at the front of the crowd, sinks to her knees and wails.
Oona crouches next to her and holds her tight.
And it hits me.

“He’s- he’s really gone, isn’t he?” I say, tears filling my eyes. “They murdered him. They murdered my- my friend. I said-“ I break off, choking on my sobs. Todd holds me closer, tears in his own eyes.
“I know baby. I know.” He says, gently.
“I said I would get him out. If- if they started killing. I said I’d get him out. I didn’t- I couldn’t.” I cry, regret filling my heart and my voice.
“I know. I know.” He doesn’t tell me it’s okay, doesn’t say that it’ll get better, which I am eternally grateful for. He just holds me tight, lets me cry on his shoulder.
“He was supposed to make it. If no-one else, I was supposed to make sure he got out.” I say again. Todd just holds me tighter and strokes my hair, and together we stand, weeping over our lost friend.

~

Around us, agents are standing, staring, shell shocked at Orly’s body. Orletta has finally been let go and is being comforted by Dr. O as they kneel together by his small, fragile form.

~

“So thats it.” Oona finally says, what feels like hours later. “Odd squad is really at war. No more games anymore. This- this is the real deal. This is for Orly.”
“For Orly.” We echo.

Chapter 64: Chapter sixty four: Funeral Rites

Chapter Text

MARCH

I’ll be real, it shocks the f*ck out of me that Odd Squad has funeral rites. But we do have them, Ms. O explains to the war council, as she blows dust off a huge leather-bound tome.
‘The Rites, Rituals, and Sanctifications of Odd Squad.’ The title reads, in curling gold lettering.
“That’s a big book.” Oswin whistles. Ms. O gives him a dry smile that doesn’t reach her eyes at all. It’s obvious that she’s still shaken up about… about…

~

She filps the book open to about three quarters of the way through, and skims through until she finds the section she’s looking for.
“Here.” She says, tapping the top of the page.
‘Odd Squad funeral rites.’ It reads. The paper is ancient and brittle, yellowed around the edges, written in Old English in a delicate, graceful, hand.
“We, we should call his… parents.” Oona gets out, perched on the edge of Ms. O’s desk and staring at a spot on the wall. She isn’t supposed to be here, but Ms. O hasn’t let her leave her sight
“We should.” Ms. O agrees. “I’ll do that and we can- I’ll set up a time to do- this.” She says, gesturing at the book. She chokes up.
“Excuse me, please.” She says. “I need a moment to be alone.”
We all nod silently and start to file out of the room.
“Wait.” Ms. O calls, as we reach the doors, Todds hand firmly in mine. “Oscar, Todd, Olympia, Otis. Would you-“ She gestures, indicating for us to stay. Otis exchanges a glance with her, and then disappears out the door. He comes back several minutes later with Otto and Olive in tow, and Possum in his arms. Otto doesn’t look hurt, just shaken, and Olive doesn’t look much better. The doors slide shut behind them. Ms. O opens her mouth, shuts it, and then buries her head in her hands.
“I-“ she says, and then bursts into tears. Oona crawls off the desk and holds her girlfriend tight, and then all eight of us are hugging each other tightly, sunk to the floor behind Ms. O’s desk in a mess of limbs and tears and unsteady breathing.

~

Finally we disentangle ourselves, but we don’t leave the room. We sit around on the floor, eating hot chips and drinking mugs of tea, one or the other of us occasionally turning to the side to cry into the arms of whoever is nearest. Ms. O skims the book, reading over the funeral rites. She puts off contacting Orly’s parents though, because every time she tries, her hand hovering over the phone, she breaks down in tears. Olive and Otto sit on the floor, encased in each others arms, trembling and hiccoughing. Pia and I sit side by side, taking turns to draw lines in her notebook, creating a picture together. Otis is sat on the couch, shoulders bunched together, staring at a spot on the floor. Todd’s sitting next to him looking shell-shocked, untouchable, Possum purring gently on his lap like she senses his distress. Bar Ms. O and Orletta, Orly’s death hit them the hardest. I think that they had held out the most hope that the villains had some small shred of humanity, and to watch that hope die would have been soul crushing for them. The way that Todd talked about some of the villains sometimes, well, it was like they were a family to him. An evil, cruel, odd family, but a family nonetheless. To lose that, to watch them give up what you had hoped for, to watch them kill… well I imagine it might be a bit like how I felt when I realised my parents would never accept me for me. Like… well like sh*t if I’m honest. Me and Pia come to a silent agreement to let our partners have the space they need. Oona’s fallen asleep, emotionally drained, her head in Ms. O’s lap.

~

Twenty minutes later, Ms. O finally calls Orly’s parents with Dr. O on standby to take over if she gets too overwhelmed, but one look at Ms. O’s face and I can tell we wont be needing Dr. O. This is something that she’s convinced herself that she has to do.

Mr and Mrs Orly’s phone rings.

They pick up.

Ms. O swallows, wipes her hands across her brow, and starts talking.

We listen intently. From what I gather from the side of the conversation we can hear, Orly’s parents didn’t know about the war and certainly would not have allowed him to stay if they had known. Ms. O takes a shuddering breath, but plows on with her tale. When she finally delivers the news, we hear Mrs Orly’s heart broken wail through the phone. Ms. O does her best to console Orly’s parents, saying that their son was a hero and that we did everything we could to save him, and that his sacrifice will not be in vain. Eventually, she asks them to come to his funeral so they can oversee the proper rites. They agree, and set a date and time for his funeral, and Ms. O hangs up the phone. Orly’s funeral is set for midday tomorrow, and we need to get up to speed with how exactly Odd Squad funeral rites work.

~

The next day we gather in the bullpen, which has been cleared of desks and has a funeral pyre in the middle. A funeral pyre. According to the Odd Squad traditions, the pyre is five layers of wood high, as Orly is the first death, but as time goes on and more deaths are inevitable, the pyre, officially called the ‘Tower Of Bones,’ will have a layer added to it for every death. The agents lost in battle or those who die of their wounds are to be burned on the pyre, and their ashes formed into a commemorative badge. According to the book, each department has a different ceremonial way to light the pyre, and for the Agents, (or the Investigation department as I recently learned, or remembered, because I’m sure I did know that’s the technical name for them, I just forgot,) they pass a flaming torch around the room from agent to agent, kind of Olympics starting ceremony style, and then the deceaseds former partner lights the pyre. The scientists, on the other hand, just throw chemicals on the pyre until it ignites, which sounds very par for the course for us, but which does require everyone in the room to wear a gas mask.

But it’s a sombre affair in the bullpen as we stand, huddled shoulder to shoulder like emperor penguins, dressed like them too, all in black, around the pyre. Mr and Mrs Orly are escorted in, crying bitterly, to say a last goodbye to their son. Dr. O and her nurses carry Orly in on their shoulders like pallbearers and lay him gently down on the pyre. As his parents say their goodbyes, the funeral torch makes its rounds, slowly but surely making its way to Orletta, standing at the front of the crowd, crying bitterly. The room is deadly quiet, all are still.

The torch makes its way to Orletta, who takes it, walks the three steps to the pyre, and places the flaming wood in amongst the dry branches and logs of the pyre. The wood crackles, and flames start to lick all over the wood, which has been coated in some flammable substance to make it catch alight faster.

We stand there for who knows how long, watching the flames slowly die out, leaving only ashes where once we had a good agent. Ms. O, with tears in her eyes, pulls out a gadget and gathers the ashes. Theres a whirring noise, a hiss of steam, and Ms. O holds a death badge, a commemorative badge made from the ashes of the deceased agent. She holds it out, wordlessly, to Orly’s parents, who take it, quietly, thank Ms. O, and leave.

Chapter 65: Chapter sixty five: Back to work

Chapter Text

APRIL

The week after Orly’s death passes in a haze. But sh*t has to get done, so we get sh*t done with vigour. Because it’s not obligation that powers us now, it’s a thirst for revenge. It burns like a dark flame. Black, hot, and dangerous. Because now that one of our own has been slain, well… we don’t intend to back down quickly. Theres a storm billowing behind Ms. O’s eyes now, and god forbid you say Scarrlet’s name where she might hear, because the flashing of her eyes is like lightning, and it makes even the bravest of agents shudder. When she told me we would need extra, proper weapons, I went straight to the junior scientists and told them to pull out all the vetoed gadgets, and then went to O’ Malley, because if this war goes how I think it will, we’re going to need some swords.

I get my hands on some swords and take them back to the lab for testing. And am almost immediately concerned about such a quality blade being in the hands of a nine-year-old boy, no I do not care how old he is biologically, and I really don’t give a damn about how he’s technically older than I am, he still shouldn’t be carrying this around. I’ll only green light using these swords in an absolute emergency, but it’s nice to know that they’re there. Then I make a trip to Owen. I find him clicking through some obscure villains profile and pull him aside.

“Owen. I know you can’t build gadgets to save your bloody life, but I need a hand with something.” I say, dragging him to the lab where I explain my plan.
Owen blinks.
“Oscar that’s-“
“A genius idea?” I say, hopefully.
“The worst idea I’ve ever heard.” He finishes. Oh. Well.
“Can you do it though?”
Owen sighs, and then throws his hands in the air.
“Fine. I can do it.”
“Really?” I ask, perking up. Owen just sighs, and gestures that I follow him.

We walk deep into the maze of door corridors, deeper than I’m comfortable with, deeper than the forge. I keep close to Owen, who seems to know where he’s going. Eventually, he leads me into a room, flips a light switch on the wall, and shuts the door behind us. I blink as the room floods with light. A few half assembled bits of metal, wiring, a few dozen assorted chemicals, and a couple of elements on the periodic table that can definitely go kaboom if they’re in contact with air and/or water litter the workbenches. I eye them warily. 
“Welcome to the room where the magic happens. Don’t touch anything. You’ll probably die.” Owen says. I nod. There’s evidence of some pretty weird past explosions, from a purple stain on the ceiling, to splatters of bright green on the walls that look uncomfortably like blood splatters. Owen assures me it isn’t, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy. He takes me to a bench, pulls out a small, black, cylindrical, object, and puts in on the table between us. 
“This is the latest version of my smoke bomb. And also the most promising. I will spare you the story of the first one, mostly because I refuse to tell it anyway.” He presses a button on the top of the cylinder, and the top unscrews, and out of the newly made gap, maybe an inch wide, a thick sheen of smoke pours out. The smoke fills the room, and after copious amounts of coughing on both our parts, the smoke clears.

“It also works if you throw it. You can use it as a getaway, a diversion, general chaos making, you know.”
I grin. 
“Oh, I can make that work.“ I say. “What else have you got?”
Owen gives me the quick demonstration of everything he’s got. And oh yes. I can make some really productive chaos with this. After selecting the optimal instruments of chaos, I opt to polity dismiss Owen, because much as he does not trust me in his ‘workshop’ I do not trust him in the lab. I take a bag of explosives, and make my way back to the lab. I dump the bag (gently) on the lab bench, and the other scientists crowd around to look. I open the bag and pull out my various… gifts, from Owen. The scientists all give me measured looks. Looks that say, ‘are we really doing this? Cause if so, im down.’ I give them an answering look. Just the bearest tilt of my head and a smile. And every single scientist in that room grins back at me, and I know in that moment that we have got this war in the bag, quite literally.

Chapter 66: Chapter sixty six: Rivka

Chapter Text

APRIL

Time heals all wounds right? Thats what they say. But I don’t think it’s true. I don’t think I’ll ever get over Orly’s death. I keep waiting to hear his laughter, or Orletta’s reluctant, indulging sigh as he comes up to her with some new random fact. I keep waiting to walk into the bullpen and see him sitting at his desk, working away on some new case.

And now I never will again.

I don’t like sleeping anymore. It used to be a way to escape this war and now it’s just full of nightmares, so most nights I stay awake past midnight working because if I’m awake I can keep the nightmares away. And as a bonus, staying up that late helps to tick off the never ending to-do list. I can tell that Todd’s not exactly happy about my terrible sleep schedule, but short of zapping me with an insta-sleep gadget, it’s basically impossible to get me into bed these days. And I will start to go to sleep, I will, I just need to fix my anti-nightmare machine and then I’ll be all good to go. It’s just... not particularly high on my list of priorities. At all.

According to Dr. O, who forced me into her office at gadget-point one afternoon, it’s not good that I’m skimping on sleep. She’s probably right, they don’t call her doctor for nothing. Appraently it’s linked to many chronic health problems, and can link to higher injury rates in… well, everyone. It affects mood and behaviour, including excess mental distress, which doesnt look great for my nightmares situation. Apparently staying up 24 hours with no sleep is the equivalent to having a blood alcohol level of 0.1%, and it just gets worse the higher in 'no sleep for X amount of hours' you go. Dr. O forces me out of her office with strict instructions and a doctors note which just reads 'GO TO SLEEP.' So, I track down Todd. He’s sitting amongst his vegetables, happily pruning the dead leaves off some strawberry bushes, but when I show up, probably looking like death, he sighs, takes my hand, and drags me to a quiet corner, calling me an idiot the entire time. But it’s with a fond smile that he tucks me into bed and kisses my forehead. I ask him to stay by me, and he nods, smiling. 
“Of course baby. I’ll keep the nightmares away.” He says. I chuckle, tiredly.
“Okay.” I yawn, sinking back into the pillows. “Goodnight, my love.”
“Goodnight darling. Although technically its 11 in the morning.”
I chuckle, and then shut my eyes and fall asleep.

~

When I wake up Todd’s fallen asleep on the floor next to me, our hands loosely held, and Possum is sleeping by my feet. I check my watch, and realise i’ve been asleep for 10 hours. I crawl out of bed, tuck Todd in in my place, and go to check in on the scientists. We’ve had varying success with our explosive gadgets, and, after cleaning up a small blast area, I grab a cup of camomile tea and walk back to bed. Todds spread himself across the entire bed so I sit down next to the bed, tuck my legs into a blanket, pick up a book and my tea, and snuggle down next to the bed.

Some time later Odelia comes running up to me. 
“Boss, boss, we got a problem!!” She pants. I struggle into a sitting position and blink up at her, slowly coming out of my book induced haze.
“Whats up?” I say
“We got a problem. Bullpen, now. Bring him." She says, gesturing at Todd.
“What?” I say, standing up
“No time for questions. Bullpen. NOW.” She barks, and then dashes off. I stand like a deer in headlights for a minute, and then shake Todd’s shoulder. He jolts upright and grabs my forearms. I hadn’t realised how badly he’d been sleeping lately, too wrapped up in my own sleep deprivation to care, and it scares me for a moment, but when we’ve both taken several deep breaths, I apologise and explain the situation to the best of my ability. Todd gives me an annoyed, ‘I guess this is my life now’ look, and we grab gadgets and dash out toward the bullpen.

~

We come racing into the bullpen and almost bowl over Orchid, who turns and scowls at us. Odelia shows up a few seconds later looking like ‘thank the lord you’re here’, and ushers us over to a vantage point. From the height of the crates we’re standing on I see that there’s a loose ring of security agents encircled by an even looser mish mash of people from all the departments, surrounding a very harassed looking Rivka and Baby Genius. I furrow my brow.

“What’s she doing here?” I ask.
“Not sure.” Odelia answers. “She just showed up and asked to see Ms. O. No one knows what she wants, she’s refusing to say or do anything until she sees Ms. O.”
“And you want us here why?” I ask.
“Oh, no reason, I just thought you’d wanna see the drama. Not every day that this happens, and hey, if it all goes to sh*t, we have four extra hands on deck.”
“You interrupted my nap for drama?” I say, incredulously, albeit not entirely hiding my gratitude at how well Odelia knows me.

My train of thought and Odelia's response is cut off by the sound of Ms. O’s office door opening. Ms. O walks out with all the O’s on her tail, and Oona by her side, who is never far from her girlfriend’s side these days. All eyes turn upward. Ms. O stands on her pedestal and looks down at Rivka, who matches her gaze. The two women are locked in a staring contest for a few seconds, which appears to break by mutual agreement. Then Ms. O speaks.

“Your excellencies.” She says, with no small amount of forced politeness.
“Ms. O.” Rivka says, inclining her head ever so slightly.
“May I help you with something?” Ms. O asks.
“Yes. Ze new girl, zis Scarrlet, and her rule about zis.. killing kids business, me and Baby Genius, we do not like it.” Rivka says, carefully. “I am… disturbed, to say ze least. Ve vould like to switch sides. To join ze Odd Squad cause, if you vill.”

There is a rather long, uncomfortable pause.

“Well.” Ms. O begins. “That certainly is.. unprecedented territory,”
“Vhy?” Rivka queries in a scaldingly judgemental voice.
“Well… you are, you know, an adult. Villains who see the error of their ways are all well and good, and I love that for you, but accepting them into odd squad means that they kind of need to be, you know, a child.”
“Yes. I know. I still have no vish to be associated vith ze villains.”

Ms. O consults with the other O’s. Oona gestures very rudely toward Miss. O (precinct 13580) which almost ends up with a cat fight but Mr. O (13578) separates them before anything gets too scrappy. There’s a lot of gesticulating and almost shouting coming down from the balcony, but we can’t really make out any of the words. Eventually, Ms. O gets them to quiet down and says something. After a lot of grumbling and another shouting match, the seven directors (plus Oona) come to what looks like a reluctant agreement.

“Well Rivka, my colleagues and I have come to an agreement.” Ms. O says, and the way she says ‘agreement’ confirms my theory that it was only reached after some serious threats.
“Luckily for you, my precinct has had a bit of experience in rehabilitating villains, so we’ll take you on. Your motives seem sincere enough, and a villain on our side is a villain that we don’t have to fight. However. I am intensely aware that this could all be some elaborate ploy to spy on us or turn our agents against us, so I will not be taking any chances. If you come within 10 meters of Todd or Otis or I get wind of any suspicious behaviour on your part, so help me god I will not rest until I have physically removed any evidence or memory of you from existence.”
Oona gives her girlfriend a look of mingled shock and dismay, but Ms. O presses on.
“So then. We will give you a probation period of, was it a month?” She says, directing the last part at Todd and Otis, who give her twin thumbs up.

“And then a month of surveillance by one person!” Otis calls up. Ms. O nods.
“Right. So a month of probation with a full security entourage, and then a month of surveillance.” Ms. O says. Rivka nods, but the the security team exchange akward glances. Ozlyn raises her hand and Ms. O gives her the go ahead.

“Well, with all due respect ma’am, we can’t waste a security entourage right now. We need all hands on deck.” She calls.
Ms. O hums. Ozlyn looks at Owen, who sighs, and seems to do an estimation check. He double checks, checks AGAIN, and then shouts up to Ms. O.
“Alright, fine. We can probably give you a SMALL entourage.”

Ms. O beams.

~

So the official ‘Odd Squad retired villains list’ is up to four, unless you count Rivka and baby genius as one person, which, why would you, and everyones mood is greatly improved. After all, as Ms. O said, a villain on our side is a villain we don’t have to fight, and a villain we don’t have to fight is... really not a villain anymore.

Chapter 67: Chapter sixty seven: training montage

Chapter Text

MAY

I think there is a strong misconception in movies. And that is that a person with no training whatsoever can go save the world, and come out completely unharmed. I believe it’s called main character buff. Well whatever is is, we dont have it. At all, good lord, are we suffering because of that.

~

Orly isn the only one we've lost. There was another battle two weeks ago in which we lost a security team member, O’ Brien, and another agent, Oriana, and there was no one who escaped without at least a bruise or a cut or an injury of some kind. Even the best armour can still leave its wearer with some injuries I guess. And also… while agents are rather good at gadget handling & usage, other departments are less so. And no one here knows how to use, much less hold, a sword. Now of course the swords are purely a hypothetical; but with the way things are going… well, we might need them.

After the war council takes stock of the damage, we realise that we might need some training. Of course, the scientists and the agents can take care of the gadget problem but theres really only one agent who can fix the sword problem. Ms. O calls O’ Malley to her office and he comes skipping merrily in like this is his bloody calling or something.
“Hey Ms. O.” He says. O’ Cally, the only other tube operator in the room, is looking at Ms. O like she’s grown an extra head, and at O’ Malley like he is the end of the world incarnate.
“Hi, O’ Malley, thanks for coming. Look, you're the only one here who actually knows how to use a sword. And we are… hmm, getting our ass handed to us, to put it lightly. And we need help to uh, fix that. How does one use a sword?”
O’ Malley gives us this guarded smile.
“I can do that Ms. O.” He says. “We just need a training montage.”
“Oh god NO!” O’ Cally groans.
“Oh hell yes.” O’ Malley smirks.

~

A week later, I am hot, sweaty, and in pain. And I am also not even close to mastering swordplay. Im better, yes, now that I can, you know, HOLD a sword, but I am so, so much better at using gadgets than swords. I’m also kind of scared about using a sword. It seems so… serious, like, theres no going back. And… painful if you get hurt. But I’ll hand it to O’ Malley, he is a really good teacher. I’ve learnt quite a bit, Including not impaling myself, how to hold a sword, and how to properly stow and draw my sword. Im practically an expert!

I help to teach the agents gadget-use, things like proper handling, how to store them, gadget maintenance, rules for using the gadgets, when to break said rules, and how to fight with a gadget. There is an essential difference between gadget fighting and sword fighting, which probably explains why I’m brilliant at one but crap at the other.
Sword fighting is this elegant dance betwixt two partners, all elegantly choreographed sweeps of death.
Gadget fighting is like putting two Roman gladiators together and saying, have at each other gents, and don’t stop until one of you dies. There are no rules.
Sword fighting is a professional sport.
Gadget fighting is a game of backyard cricket where half the people playing are drunk and the other half are kids under ten who can’t hold the bat right.

Dr. O takes the liberty of teaching us first aid. Her first lesson she sits us down in little plastic chairs in her room and faces us, a stern look in her eyes.
“Alright. What I’m about to say is the most important part of first aid. So I need all of you to be listening to me. Now I don’t need you to be the best at first aid, but I need you to listen to this bit.” She says, snapping her fingers in front of Orlando’s nose. “Protect yourself first. You got that? Protect yourself first. The last thing anyone needs is you running in to save your friend and creating another casualty because you didn’t check to see if it was safe. Asses the situation, ensure the safety of you and your patient, and then go help. First aid can mean the difference between life and death, but only if you protect yourself first. If the best you can do for your friend is stand over them wielding a gadget and screaming bloody murder because it’s too dangerous to get down and care for them, do that. You will help more in the long run, trust me.”

Ms. O teaches us self defence and hand-to-hand combat, and a lot of agents, boys and girls, have started growing out their nails or filing them to points for an extra bit of protection.

~

By the end of May the entire squad is more equipped than we were a month ago and ready to kick some serious butt.
Which is good because on June the second we’re woken up at midnight to fight.
Again.

Chapter 68: Chapter sixty eight: battle or war?

Chapter Text

JUNE

I don’t care what anyone says, or how ‘noble’ our cause may be, 12:30 at night is a sh*t time to go fight. But the mayor is under siege, and so the troops are called out to rescue him. I detangle myself from the sheets and don my lab coat with no small amount of grumbling, but Orchid is awake, and… pleasant… kind of… look she’s awake and isn’t snapping anyone’s head off, so I guess it’s important enough to waive any complaints. I struggle into my armour in the semi dark, working by the soft glow of light emanating from the rooms off the side of the bullpen. But we’re all dressed and ready to go relatively quickly, so Ms. O shuffles us out of headquarters as fast as she can.

~

The siege is medieval.
I wish I was joking, but we get there and the first thing I see is a battering ram. The poor mayor is standing on his roof yelling desperately at the villains to go away, throwing old newspapers at them. I pray to god that we stay relatively unnoticed by the mayor and thus the villains. No such luck. The mayor spots us half the street away and hollers for our attention. The villains turn as one toward our forces. Ms. O swears. I take my glasses off to properly comtenplate life by burying my face in my hands. Otto starts silently shaking with incredulous laughter.

“Well.” Ms. O says, taking a long drag through the straw from the juice box in her hand. I blink, stunned, because she did not have that juice box 2 seconds ago, and I would swear that on my grandmothers grave, but hey, it’s Ms. O, did we expect anything less? “Im uncomfortable with how quickly we were discovered.” She says. “How fast can we fix that?”

‘Pia, ever the numbers girl, stretches and cracks hers knuckles.
“Depends Ms. O. How willing are you to let us go apesh*t?”
“Hmm.” Ms. O checks her watch in a lazy show of ‘how long do we have?’ “Well I suppose it could work. Odd Squad!” She yells. We bristle, snapping to attention. “From ranks!” She cries.
We shuffle into our departments. I take my place with the scientists on the outskirts of the group, a chill settles in the air. The villains seem to have forgotten about the mayor. Instead they face us, malice in their eyes. I pull out my smoke-bomb-inator. Ms. O stares right back at the villains. We await the order to charge. Time seems to stop. Then all at once the villains are charging us. Yet still Ms. O doesn’t tell us to go. The villains charge up the street, yelling battle cries. Lights flicker on, and then off, in the houses surrounding us, curious neighbours drawn and then deterred by the action. And when Scarrlet is so close we can see the green smoke emanating from her palms, Ms. O speaks.

“Give us cover.” She says. The scientists and I spring into action, setting off such an array of light, smoke, and sound that it’s disorientating even for us. And then Ms. O yells, loud and clear.
“FOR ODD SQUAD!” She roars, and plunges into the haze.

The agents (sorry, Investigation department members) plunge in after her, all 455 of them, followed by the directors. The rest of us, who are mostly tube operators, (seriously, three fifths of the remaining agents are tube operators,) wait for a few moments. And then we begin to plunge into battle. First, the tube operators race out, followed by security. The scientists are next, and we’re to be followed by the doors and maintenance departments and then all the other, more obscure departments will come after us.

We race toward the mayors house, trying to stay as a group. The haze is drifting away, slowly, oh so slowly, but I can see the streetlamp above us, and orange light, shining weakly through the layers of fog. I squint, push my glasses up, and keep running. Our mission was simple. Get in, rescue Mayor Macklemore, and get out. But the villains noticed us, and so now the mission is… well I really have no idea. I assume the same, just also fighting the villains. So we press on to the mayors house, but it’s not long before a cluster of villains springs up in front of us and we’re locked in combat. I did think that we would have the upper hand here, our forces now numbering one thousand and eighty five, but Scarrlet has every North American villain on her side, so we’re up against about one thousand five hundred villains.

Our odds aren’t great, but they could be worse.

I clash beams with a villain whose form is so shadowy I can’t make them out. They snarl at me and swing their beam again. I jump as it sweeps toward my legs and come crashing back down, cleaving downwards with my gadget beam as I land. They dodge, and then they’re running at me. I side step and pull out my bear-trap-inator, firing at them as they barrel past me.
I only catch their leg but it trips them up for long enough for me to… what?

Kill them?
I hesitate.

They break free from the trap, and that snaps me out of my reluctance. I launch myself on top of them, and we tussle on the ground. They hiss something about worthless odd squad scum, and I clock them over the head with the butt end of my handcuffinator. They growl, and in their momentary dazed state I handcuff them. But I can’t bring myself to kill them, so I stand up, kick them hard in the stomach, and move on.

Ive not gone two steps before I run into another villain, this time it’s Jamie jam, and now I’m the one who’s growling and snarling as the memory of broken bones and knife scars comes hot and fresh into my mind. Jamie yelps as I charge her, bare handed and angry. She fires up her gloves though, and soon enough I’m regretting my decision of not having a gadget in hand as the jam rains down on me. I scramble backwards and out of range, and then I’m pulling out another gadget and whirling around and zapping another villain and then catching an agent as they fall over and blasting their attacker and checking them over and helping them up and…

I go into autopilot after that, the fight blurring into this endless internal chant of breathe in, breathe out, keep working, until I hear Mr. O telling us to keep it up, and then, over it all, over the clashing and buzzing and yells and cries and whimpers and grunts and flashes and bangs, Scarrlets voice comes, whipcrack sharp.

“You may think you’re winning the battle, bitch, but I’m winning the war!”

~

And then the villains slowly retreat, and Ms. O appears, shaken, and we make our way, with Mayor Macklemore, to the opposite end of the street to the villains, who’ve huddled together too. Because we all realised that both sides have casualties. Either those too greivously injured to move, or incapacitated, or dead. The villains raise a white flag. The directors raise one too, although ours is just a spare lab coat on a stick, and then each side sends out representatives to gather their casualties.

~

Sad is the party that returns to HQ in that grey morning light, and confused too. Ms. O calls a war council while Dr. O does what she can for the injured and prepares the dead for the funeral rites. We dissect this latest attack, get the mayor some shock treatment, and then turn to Scarrlets words.
“You may think you’re winning the battle bitch, but I’m winning the war!”

And maybe she has a point. We’ve been considering any victories in battles good but maybe we don’t see the bigger picture.
Maybe she really is winning the war.
And if thats the case, how do we turn this around so that we win instead?

Chapter 69: Chapter sixty nine: Healing

Chapter Text

JUNE

I sit back in my chair and sip my tea, eyes closed, feet propped up on the lab bench, breathing deeply. Ocean, sitting next to me and now on call full time as the squad therapist, along with the other creature carers, chuckles.

“Feeling better dude?” He asks. I nod. “Thats good. You take your time, physical and mental rest is important. Although between you and me, Jamie might need a lot more healing than you my dude.”

I hum, more than a little uncomfortable at how much I hurt her. I've always been an… enthusiastic fighter, particularly with gadgets, and I know that, but it's mostly to help others. I don’t want anyone I care about getting hurt. My friends, my workplace, my… my family.

But even so, something about hurting Jamie just because she hurt me, something about Dr. O’s comment about seeing her on the battlefield with ‘potentially lethal injuries’ feels wrong. Something about hurting… anyone, about killing anyone, feels wrong.

It feels like I’m not any better than the villains.

Ocean assures me that, after my trauma, the desire to get back at the villains is probably normal and that I shouldn’t feel guilty. I have a right to be angry, but that if I’m really uncomfortable with taking it out on the villains, we can look into getting me a punching bag, which makes me laugh. He leaves me with my tea to go check on the numerous other agents who need his help. I keep breathing, and soon enough a warm blanket is draped over my shoulders and Todd is leaning his chin on the top of my head. I smile.

“You feeling okay?” He asks. I nod, and he presses a kiss to my hair. “Good. You’re not too banged up are you?” He asks, a comforting amount of concern in his voice. I shake my head, cosy in my blanket/boyfriend wrap. I swear I can hear him smile. He’s been happier lately, since Rivka turned over a new leaf. Apparently she was a mentor to a lot of other, younger villains, almost, Otis says, a mother figure. A cold, hard, villainous mother, sure, but to a lot of the younger villains, the best mother they had. Well whatever the reason, if he’s happy, I’m happy.
“Are you okay? Not hurt or anything?” I ask.
“Nothing that Dr. O can’t fix.” He says. I turn my head around sharply to face him.“I’m fine babe. Really. Just a couple of battle scars. Which you’re not entirely devoid of either darling.” He chuckles, touching my elbow gently. I wince as his fingers graze the wound there. Gadget light armour, like all forms of defence, has its restrictions, and of course with restrictions come weak points, so at some point during the battle I must’ve been cut by a villain, and, adrenaline filled, just didn’t register it.

He looks okay though, which I’m grateful for.

Todd drags me to the garden to help him, and in that moment I truly love him more than light itself, because how he’s managed to fight in a war, and keep a garden well maintained and growing and produce filled, and stay relatively upbeat is beyond me. He gives me a packet of seeds and a watering can and shows me how to plant them, and we spend a long time just chilling in the garden. It’s very peaceful, and although we get interrupted briefly by a rather lost Mayor Macklemore and we have to redirect him, it’s all in all a nice way to spend an afternoon.

Chapter 70: Chapter seventy: I spy with my little eye…

Chapter Text

JUNE

A week later the security team, through methods that they will not elaborate upon, have managed to gain access to the villain’s security cameras, and now we have 24/7 footage of their base. Yayyy! Ozlyn hooks up our own security cameras so that we’re not able to be hacked as well, which, under any other circ*mstances would feel like cheating but I think it’s fair play in a war. We continue drilling our battle strategy and fighting techniques, and I have to say, I think that I have become quite the swordsman. I can now hit, without fail, my opponents shield every time, however O’Malley tells me that this is not an accomplishment and when I can hit my opponents body with my sword every time, then I’ll be good, but for now, I should keep practicing. The security guys will occasionally run their feed into the war council, which is exactly what happens on the day of June the twenty third, exactly seven months after the offical declaration of war, when we find out exactly why Scarrlet is doing this.

~

We’re sitting around Ms. O’s office, eating popcorn and pondering our next course of action when the screen behind her desk flickers into life and Scarrlet appears, talking to Shapeshifter, who’s writing something down. We turn out eyes to the footage and listen in.
“No you don’t understand Shapeshifter.” Scarrlet says, pacing around the room she’s in, which appears to be an office. “I need the Central American villains on my side as well. Odd squad had too many agents, and if they get more or if our little diversion in Atlantis doesn’t hold and the Big O comes back…”

“Remind me why we’re doing this again?”Shapeshifter growls. Scarrlet sighs, but leans against the wall and explains.
“Because Oprah is a backstabbing, cold hearted, two-faced traitorous bitch and she doesn’t deserve to live.”

The air in the room goes cold and as one we all flick our eyes toward Ms. O. Her face betrays no emotion though, and now Shapeshifter is talking, so we bring our attention back to the screen.

“So I’m fighting in a war and endangering my life just because of some petty, unresolved teenage drama between the two of you?”

“It is not-!” Scarrlet starts, but she pauses, shuts her eyes, and takes a breath. “It is not just some unresolved petty teenage drama, Shapeshifter. Oprah, and by extension all of Odd Squad, is deliberately turning villains and civilians alike away from the beauty of oddness, teaching the civilians to fear and hate it and brainwashing villains, turning them away from their true nature to conspire against their own kind. She already has three of them, she almost got me once. We have to right the world. Odd squad must be eliminated, and oddness must take its place at the head of our society, and those who create it celebrated and revered rather than shunned and disrespected. You’ve seen their trickery at work, how that ratty scientist took away Todd, tricked him into shunning his true nature and the family who gave him something when he had nothing. You’ve seen how they tricked Rivka into thinking our rules were a bad thing, these rules that keep us alive. You know how Oprah blinded Otis to the true genius of his brothers plans. And of course I’ve told you how Oprah almost blindsided me, how I almost bought into her schemes. No, we must restore order, and take down Odd Squad, starting with precinct 13579. I will not rest until all of Odd Squad is gone, dead and buried six feet under, understand?”

Shapeshifter nods. She seems convinced, and I have to admit, Scarrlet wields a lot of power in her words. It’s scary. But the more pressing issue at the moment is what Ms. O will say, so when the feed shuts off, everyone turns to her.

Ms. O takes her reading glasses off, cleans them, and then puts them back on, sighing wearily. She looks defeated.

“I hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but you deserve the truth. Scarrlet is not a new villain. She’s an old one, actually. She was around when I was just an agent, back in 1967. She was fierce and ruthless, but nothing we couldn’t handle. O’Donahue and I fought her so many times I lost count. But then things got strange. It felt like she was deliberately trying to get us on her case. It turns out, she was. She told us she wanted to reform, to be a better person. Well, I’d dealt with villains who wanted to reform before, and my gut told me Scarrlet was not one of them. So when she came to us and said that, well O’Donahue and I said that we were sorry but we weren’t entirely sure she did want to reform. Hindsight’s 20/20, we- I could have been a tad gentler and handled it a wee bit better. But I didn’t. I genuinely hurt her. But like I said, I’ve met proper reformers, and she was not one of them. And now, with Todd and Otis here and all… well it seems to have rubbed her the wrong way, and now she appears to be spreading it that we’re ‘forcing villains to reform.’ Again, I am sorry. This is my fault.”

I exhale a long breath. That’s a lot. But Oona is right by Ms. O, reassuring her that it’s okay, it’s not her fault, she did the right thing, and at least now we know why this is all happening.

~

“Well.” Dr. O says, finally. “That clears that up. To quote a very wise doctor, ‘WHATS NEXT?!’”

Chapter 71: Chapter seventy one: What's Next

Chapter Text

JUNE

'Whats next' turns out to be a surprise counter attack orchestrated by Ms. O three days later. She never even ran it past the war council, she didn't even take all the agents, she just picked up all of precinct 13579 and told us to move out, we had work to do.

Her eyes looked grim.

~

Underneath the blazing summer sun in the sweltering heat, about fifty degrees in the shade, we face the villains. Again. (Who am I kidding, the max temperature today is twenty degrees) I feel as though this war is dragging on forever, but Ms. O seems confident the her plan will work. Scarrlet, facing us from across the town park, seems bored, almost uninterested, like this whole shtick is a waste of her time, which is like, come on dude, if you’re going to try and ruin Ms. O’s career and reputation and take down the entirety of odd squad while you’re at it, at least show a little bit of enthusiasm. You look like the cool kid who got paired up with the nerd and separated from all your friends so now you’re trying your best to silently get a re-pairing from the teacher. I should know, I’ve been paired up with a few of them in my day.

Theres a silent stand off, both women glaring at each other from across the green. Then Ms. O strides forward, and Scarrlet does the same, their two armies following them in a kind of triangular formation. We stop, about five meters apart.

“Scarrlet!” Ms. O calls. “I’m so glad you agreed to meet us! How are you?”
“Cut the crap Oprah. Why did you drag us out here? Are you so eager to lose this war?
“I’m eager to win this war, and, more importantly, to clear you of your deluded idea that odd squad is somehow ‘brainwashing villains, turning them away from their true nature to conspire against their own kind.'"

Scarrlet frowns.

“And how, Oprah, do you plan on winning this war? Your forces are weak and limited, but mine grow daily. You’re mere children, and sooner or later you’ll all go running back to mummy because you bit off more than you can chew.”
“If you truly think that, then you know nothing of odd squad, and you haven’t changed one bit since we first met. I have lost so many good agents already but I will not rest until I have gotten rid of you once and for all.”
“You’ll never achieve that Oprah. Im unstoppable. Ive been planning this for DECADES. You should turn back now while you still can.”
“Never.” Ms. O growls.
“Oh… how precious. Look Shapeshifter, she thinks she can intimidate us. You still haven’t answered my question though Oprah. Why are we out here?”
“To win. This. War.”
Scarrlet tips her head back and laughs until tears come into her eyes. The most uncomfortable part about this is that it isn’t some carefully curated maniacal villain cackle. It’s a natural, teenage-girl-out-with-her-friends laugh. And it feels wrong. Like it just shouldn’t be like that. It is scary as sh*t.

~

Oh but we aren’t done yet. This stand off back and forth banter between the two most powerful women on planet earth goes on for wayyy too long. But if I know Ms. O, which like, does anyone really, she’s stalling. I dont know what or who she’s stalling for, and hell, maybe her whole plan is to just talk Scarrlet into giving up. Whatever she’s doing, I think it’s working.

~

“Why won’t you just go home Oprah! Take your fragile little band of flowers and GIVE UP ALREADY!” Scarrlet yells. Her cheeks are red and green flames are practically leaping from her hands. The area of the park we’ve met in is encircled by a mass of writhing vines, the trees have knotted their branches together, caging us in, the grass is now knee high and steadily rising, and theres a dandelion situated near my elbow that is freaking me out. But Ms. O is calm and collected, and not at all worried about the near impenetrable wall of plant life surrounding us. Instead she just smiles. But it’s not at all a nice smile. It’s dark, and wolfish, and it says ‘I’m going to destroy you and I’m going to enjoy it.’

“Oh, honey.” She says, in patronising voice. “You seem to have made a mistake. My agents and I aren’t fragile. Not like a flower anyway.” As she talks, she reaches behind her and slowly, oh so very, slowly pulls out a small, gun-metal gray box with a red wire running lengthwise along it. Owen, standing a meter to my right, blanches at the sight. I shoot him a concerned look, but he’s got his eyes fixed on the box and his fingers crossed like it's quintessential to our survival. “No, me and my agents, we’re more fragile… like a bomb. Cut the wrong wire, f*ck with the wrong person, and it’ll blow up in your face.” Ms. O says, cold and detached, quietly setting the timer on the device to thirty seconds.

And suddenly I know what that metal box is.
I shoot Owen another, even more concerned look while Scarrlet laughs, high, cold and cruel.

“Is that a metaphor, Oprah?” She asks. “Goodness, it is cute when you try to intimidate me, but for all your big talk, you don’t do much.”
Ms. O grins that wolfish grin again. I glance at Owen again, and finally catch his eye, and we frantically start trying to move the agents back from Ms. O and the villains. But Ms. O, one step ahead, as always, and also probably not wanting the villains to freak and run before she can throw one of Owens handy dandy little home made bombs at them, silently puts her other hand behind her back, three fingers clearly visible. As she talks, she drops one finger, then the second.

“Oh, but, it’s not a metaphor.” She says.
She presses a small button on the side of the bomb she’s holding, drops her last finger, throws the bomb at Scarrlets chest, turns around, and bolts.

The squad runs after her, heading torwards the walls of foliage, which are, as we run, coming apart. I run like the wind, lab coat flapping. We book it away, but it seems to occur to everyone simultaneously that we dont have enough time to get away from the blast radius.
Ms. O yells something unintelligible, and throws herself to the floor. The rest of the squad follows suit, covering our heads with our hands.

The bomb detonates moments later with a shocking, skull rattling BOOM!

~

When the smoke clears at last and Ms. O gets up, the rest of us uncover our heads and slowly sit up. The shell of plants keeping us in are gone, as all of the villains. We don’t know wether Scarrlet is alive, or dead, or unconscious and has just been carted away by her loyal minions, but whatever the case is, she’s vanished. Now all thats left to do is to just wait and see what happens. And also get any burns we may have sustained fixed.

Chapter 72: Chapter seventy two: Fighting for the finish

Chapter Text

JUNE

Todd is restless. Its been a week or two since our stand off with the villains, and while waiting around and planning for the worst case scenario, (Scarrlets not dead) is all well and good, he needs to get out and do something. So do I. So does most of the squad, actually. Due to the villainous inactivity and popular demand, Ms. O is allowing partners to go out on short walks around the neighbourhood. So Todd drags me outside the second he can, and we make those walks last as long as possible. It’s really rather nice, strolling along the streets of our precinct, soaking in the summer sun, sitting on park benches, getting our summer tans on, (Who am I kidding. I don’t tan, I burn. Aggressively.) occasionally kissing, (okay we kiss quite a bit) and enjoying the simple pleasures of our lives not being is constant peril for once in a long time.

But our peace is not to last for long, alas.

Why is anyone surprised?

Otis and Todd go out on one of their regular walks one fine sunny Wednesday leaving Olympia and me back at HQ. Of course it’s, quote, ‘incredibly stupid to regularly have two of our three villains out together,’ but Ms. O lets them go. Rivka, now off probation, happily integrated into odd squad, and doing so much better, is hanging out with us, as is Olive, because Otto is off somewhere causing chaos with Owen. Somehow ive become ‘one of the girls’ and we all hang out together. And I love it!! It is genuinely my favourite thing to be able to hang out with my two best friends and our weird vodka aunt.

We’re all sitting around at Olives desk, helping her out with her daily crossword and gossiping about the latest scandal that Miss Triangle (and her siblings) were caught up in. It’s a doozy. Apparently Miss Triangle was invited to Lord Rectangle’s birthday party, Along with General Pentagon and Professor Square. But when the candles on the cake were blown out, she, and her siblings, who worked as Lord Rectangle’s maid and butler, stole the cake! Turns out they’re triplets and they stole the cake because Lord Rectangle never remembers their birthday, which is the same day as his! It was a whole thing. Honestly, if I were Lord Rectangle, I would have pressed charges, but he forgave them, which was very charitable of him.
Olympia is spilling her theories about how the Triangles actually stole that cake for a much darker reason, when Otis walks up and taps her on the shoulder. She gets up, and they have an intense, whispered conversation at the edge of the bullpen, and then Otis walks solemnly away and up the stairs to Ms. O’s office, joined at the top by Todd. They disappear in and I look over at Olympia who comes back to us, looking disappointed and annoyed.

“Ive got some bad news guys.” She says.

~

So it turns out that Scarrlet was not killed by that bomb.
And that she’s alive and kicking.
And that she intends to end this war once and for all.

She’s sent Ms. O a challenge. Single combat, July the second, the exact middle of the year, in High Park. She can take or leave it as she sees fit, but this will ‘decide the fate of this war and thus the world forever’ I guess Scarrlet got a tad impatient because Ms. O has a little under a week to prepare if she accepts it. And she’s going to accept it, because, c’mon, this is Ms. O thats being challenged. I get up, wander away from Olives desk, find Possum, pick her up and cuddle her. She purrs contentedly in my arms and I cart her back to the girls, and we all take turns petting her silky fur and telling each other that it’ll be okay, it’ll be okay, it’ll be okay. Just breathe in. Breathe out. And keep working.

Ms. O drops the bombshell on the bullpen a few minutes later.
No surprises, she’s accepted that challenge. She’s going to finish this war. But she won’t finish it alone.

~

Every agent is preparing for battle. All we have are five days and the element of surprise and we are NOT going to squander it. This means training as much as we can, sparring with each other, daily war council meetings, squad wide strategy planning, and, for me and Todd at least, kissing as much as we possibly can. And of course we figure out what would happen to Possum were something to… happen to us, she’ll go to Polly-graph. But god I how hope and pray that nothing will happen.

~

“Shield UP Oscar, do you want die!? GOOD Oakley that’s good! Now parry, parry, block, and lunge!! Sword up, fight back, O’ Ryan! Duck Orsac, that’s a blade coming at your head! Keep it up Orchid you’re doing well!”

O’Malley yells instructions and encouragements through a megaphone so he can be heard over the chaos of the bullpen. I keep my shield up and my eyes open, and parry Ottos strike. His next blow comes whistling through the air toward my head, and I bring my shield up to meet it. Theres a ringing clash of metal on metal and I stagger backwards whole pace and a half. Otto advances toward me and strikes at me again, and this time I block the blow with the flat of my blade and follow it up with a lunge, which Otto sidesteps to avoid. It’s the nearest I’ve got to a hit all session. I step back to avoid Ottos returning lunge and then swing my sword his way. Too high. It swooshes through the air over his head and I lose my balance and fall back onto my butt. Otto helps me up, chuckling a bit, and then we resume sparring.

~

Bruised and battered and hours later I scarf down lunch and the race up the stairs to Ms. O’s office for a war council meeting. Todd, punctual as ever, is waiting on the couch when I come crashing through the doors, apologising profusely, and lets me cuddle up next to him. I lean my head on his shoulder, he kisses my hair, Dr. O sees to a cut on Onyx’s shoulder, O’ Milo is shaken out of his doze, and the meeting starts.

“Okay team. Where did we leave off?” Ms. O asks.
“I believe we had just finished talking about trapping the enemy.” Mr. O says.
“Ah, yes. And we deduced that we don’t have the resources for a Narnia style, ‘back to the rocks!’ type trap, correct?” Ms. O asks. Mr. O nods.
“Yes, that is correct.’ He affirms.
“Alright then. So we have a plan of attack, a retreat plan, a just in case ‘concession’ but really we’d rather fight till we dropped plan, a plan to trap the villains… what else do we need?” Ms. O asks.

“Have we thought about a backup plan of attack?” Oona, who really shouldn’t be here but has not left Ms. O’s side since she accepted the villains challenge, asks.
Theres general murmur of assent from around the room.
“Thats a smart idea Oprah” Mr. O says. Ms. O nods.
“Alright.” She says. “Let’s work on that.”

~

After the war council finishes we break off to go train some more. I take a rest from sword fighting to teach gadget fighting. 
“It’s an art form.” I say. “A blood thirsty, desperate, clumsy, violent art form, but an art form nonetheless.” With that I pull out a gadget from behind my back and have them suspended upside down in the air, covered in marshmallows, in about two seconds flat.

“Now we’ll be practicing with non-lethal gadgets for now, but in this upcoming fight you’ll be equipped with new, dangerous gadgets, made to hurt. Use them well, because the more hurt the villains are the less likely they are to be able to dominate the world.”
I give the agents gadgets and set them up in pairs, and then walk around correcting them as necessary. Most of them get the hang of firing and aiming the gadgets pretty quick as it was just a refresher, so we move on to the next step. How to fight. For this I have them abandon their gadgets, get on a large section of padded flooring, and sock wrestle until someone wins, prison rules style, all of them in together, which is entertaining as all hell to watch.

~
I eat a quick dinner of sausages, peas, and mashed potatoes, and then zip back to the lab. Todd comes in five minutes later and together we crawl into my secret hiding space in the air vents. It has a lot of beans, and pillows, and blankets, but mostly just beans. I sit on a pillow and wrap a blanket around our shoulders, and we lean back against the side of the air vent. I let out a long sigh and let out fingers intertwine. We sit there for a long while, and then I kiss Todd, rather lazily, on his cheek. He smiles at me and kisses me back. I kiss him again, on the mouth this time, and he puts one arm around my shoulders. We stay there for quite a while, quietly exchanging long, lazy kisses in the half dark of the air vents, barely talking, breathing deeply.

~

You’d think that on the day before we go to war with like, every villain ever, the day we’ve officially dubbed 'the end of the world', because no matter what happens tomorrow its going to change the course of history forever, everybody would be fighting and training, doing their very best to prepare.

And we did do that, for a bit.

And then Ms. O got really anxious so now she, Oona, Otto, Otis, Olive, Olympia, Todd, and I, are all sitting silently in her office in varying mental states of ‘oh my god it’s really happening’ and trying not to think about the impending battle.
Otis is holding a terrarium on his lap, and when we asked him about it he looked up like we shook him out of his daydreams and then just went back to his little plant haven without a word. I’m sitting on the floor, aimlessly fixing gadgets, back to back with Todd, who, along with Ms. O and Olive, is completing a 10,000 piece puzzle on the coffee table. Meanwhile Otto’s listening to Soundcheck songs in absolute silence, and Olympia is staring listlessly into space, petting Possum.

By about three in the afternoon we’ve graduated from sitting aimlessly around in Ms. O’s office to sitting aimlessly around in the lab. Most of the junior scientists are in here too, doing exactly the same thing we’re doing. It’s a vibe. A weird melancholy, world-is-ending type vibe, to be sure, but a vibe nonetheless. Sitting on the floor around us are cups of whatever beverage took our fancy and a plate of Oksanas choc-chip cookies, as well as several packets of just straight chocolate chips.

I slowly sip my tea, Todd lying in my lap, half asleep. Ms. O and Oona have foregone any f*cks they ever had about not being overly affectionate with each other in public, I swear I’ve seen them kiss twenty times in the space of half an hour. Otis and Otto have bonded over their shared love of dance, again, and Olympia and Olive are talking strategy, but not really, most of it’s just hypothetical bullsh*t like ‘what if we just flip a coin? Heads we win, tails they lose? I think it’s a viable option.’ Wether or not actually they’re being serious, I cannot tell, but listening to their conversation makes me chuckle. Every so often Todd will sit up like Frankenstine’s monster arising from the operating table for the first time, grab a cookie and a sip of his orange juice, and lie right back down in my lap. I wind my fingers through his hair and smile down at him. He smiles back up at me and I kiss his forehead. He pokes his tongue out at me and I just give him this dopey as, im-so-in-love-with-you, grin.

~

Hours pass and soon enough it’s night. Many agents are already tucked up to sleep, many more are brushing their teeth or raiding the kitchen for cups of hot milk, perhaps settling in with a nice calming audiobook playing through their headphones.

Alas the war council is yet to even begin their nighttime routines, as we’ve holed up in Ms. O’s office for one last meeting. It’s like cramming in some last minute revision in for a maths test, except the stakes are so, SO, much higher.
“Okay people. Let’s do this one last time.” Ms. O sighs, head in her hands. We break down our plan, run over manoeuvres and tactics again and again and again and AGAIN.

Finally, we quit, and all turn in for the night.

I pull on my pyjamas, grab a mug of tea and a ginger biscuit, (have I mentioned how incredible Oksana and the other kitchen staff are?) and head to bed. Todd is already asleep and sprawling across the entire bed, so set my tea down and shove him over to make room for myself. I crawl into bed, pull the covers up to my chin, drink my tea, eat my bikkie, and then cuddle down with my boyfriend.

And for one moment, one brief moment, it’s all okay.

Chapter 73: Chapter seventy three: Shatter

Chapter Text

JULY

And then I wake up, and it’s never been okay.

We wake to a cold, gray day, with a threat of rain in the air. I lie in bed, unwilling to get up, unwilling to wake and face this clusterf*ck of a day. Instead, I curl up under the covers under the bottom of the bed and squeeze my eyes shut. I want to cry, but tears don’t come, so I just stay, curled up and shaking, hidden from the world. Eventually though I'm joined by a hungry cat and a persistent boyfriend and an unfortunately timed sense of duty, so I haul myself out of bed, zap possums food bowl, and then sit on the edge of the bed.
Todd comes and sits by me, his arm around my shoulders, and we stay like that for a while. Finally though, Todd pulls out the Cat-Keeper-300, and I pick up Possum and put her, with her food, water, and other essentials, into the Keeper. Todd shuts the lid, sets the retrieval date, (where if we don’t get Possum by a certain day, she’ll be transported to Polly-Graph), sets the box by the bed and walks off to have a shower. I get up, get dressed, and slowly walk into the bullpen.

~

Theres a sense of pride in the air as we stand about, armour flashing, swords strapped to our sides, shields and gadgets tucked away safely, ready to be drawn at a moments notice. Ms. O stands at the top of the steps and stares down at us with fire in her eyes. All eyes are fixed on her. The room is dead quiet. You could, and do, hear a pin drop. All eyes turn in the direction of the sound and Rivka, kitted up for battle despite Ms. O’s strong warning to the adverse, gives us an apologetic smile. Ms. O pardons her with a stiff nod.

~

After a brief yet rousing speech, and a hearty cheer of “FOR ODD SQUAD!!” we set out to seize the day, and the win, and get rid of Scarrlet and her, frankly batsh*t insane, ideologies.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Keep working.

Time seems to slow as we draw near to High park, every second taking hours to pass, every footstep we take an eternity long, apprehension rising with every minute. It makes me want to run screaming back to HQ and bury my head in my pillows. And looking about, I believe most of the other agents share the same sentiment. But we grit out teeth, lift our heads and march on.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Keep working.

Pedestrians stop and stare as we tramp on by. The locals have been told and the park evacuated, but adults and children alike clap and cheer as we pass, shouting encouragement and prayers of luck. We’ll need it.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Keep working.

I feel… numb. Tired. Broken.
I just want this to be over.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Keep.
Working.

Finally, we stop. We’re here.

~

I am very scared, to say the least. Nervous giggles erupt out of several of us in the crowd. I fiddle nervously with a small gadget in my hand and try to steady my breathing. Todd runs his hands through his hair over and over and over again and gives me a shaky grin. I give him a small, tight-lipped smile in response, and he grabs my hand.
“I’m sacred baby.” He whispers.
“I know.” I whisper back.
“What if it all flops? What if we fail?”
“We’ll be okay. We’re Odd Squad. We can do anything.”
He just smiles at me. I kiss his cheek, exhale shakily, and turn my attention to Ms. O. She, however, doesnt say anything, but marches us further into the park until we’re standing in a picnic shelter just outside of the High Park Pool.

The threat of rain has turned into a miserable drizzle, and everyone is shivering. Ms. O straightens her spine and takes a deep, fortifying breath. Then she pulls her sword out of its sheath, gives us our orders and watches as we scatter into the bushes either side of the trail she’ll walk down to fight Scarrlet. I turn back to get one last glimpse of her, and then continue to sneak through the trees, making my way to my battle station.

Chapter 74: Chapter seventy four: fighting for the finish

Chapter Text

JULY

I crouch in the bushes, a quarter of the way between the pool and the river that runs through the east side of the park, about three or four meters away from the trail that Ms. O took. I cant see her, she’s too far down the path, but we all have earpieces in for her to communicate with us. And sure enough, twenty lifetimes, or maybe its only twenty seconds later, her voice comes crackling down the line.

“Im in position. Scarrlet should be coming soon.”
“Roger that Ma’am.” Dr. O says, on standby with her nurses.
“You got it Ms. O.” Says Owen, hunkered down by the pond.
“We’re all with you babe. We’ve got this.” Oona says, but her tone adds a very distinct, unspoken, ‘I hope.’
“For Odd Squad.” Ms. O says, and then the line goes dead.

It’s uncomfortably silent for an uncomfortably long amount of time. The rain continues to fall, a miserable drizzle that gets in my boots and runs down the back of my armour. Im squatting, unwilling to sit on the damp leaves, but my calves are screaming at me. My hair is plastered to my forehead and I’m shivering. Theres a rumble of far-off thunder. I’m soaked to my BONES, plastered in mud, and the only reason I can still see is because Odelia come up with a formula that repels water and I used copious amounts of it on my glasses.

~

I’ve given up any pretence of staying dry. The rain is heavier now, and I’m lying on my back in the rain, very, very damp, when the earpiece crackles into life again. I sit bolt upright, almost crack my head on a branch, and listen intently.
Ms. O is talking to Scarrlet.

“We meet again.” Scarrlet sneers.
“That we do. It appears I am outnumbered.” Ms. O observes.
“It appears you took my message at face value and didn’t take time to consider that I, a villain, might not be true to my word.”
“I did. I, however, am honest in my doings.”
“Well. How unfortunate for you. But i am not, no matter how you wish to portray me, a monster, and so we shall fight in this… single combat. Stand down.”
 Scarrlet barks, clearly directed to the villains she must have with her.
“Good.” Ms. O says, after a pause. “Are there any weapons off the table?”
“None. The troops of the first to die surrender to the other.”
“That works for me. Do you swear it?”
“I swear.”
“Deal.”
“Deal.”

Five seconds later theres a ringing clash of metal on metal over the earpiece. I flinch slightly. One of them screams, one of them laughs, one of them swears, and then a flash of purple lights up the entire western sky for a moment, the signal for Group Alpha to start moving into position. I’m part of Group Gamma though, so I stay put. There’s screech of rage over the earpiece, so raw and angry that it almost kills my eardrums, and I am momentarily tempted to throw my earpiece away, but alas, I’m waiting on a verbal signal and thus cannot abandon it.

~

The onslaught upon the squads collective poor ears continues for several long more minutes until I hear my groups signal. It’s rather clever really, and Ms. O isn’t even the one who says it, rather she baits Scarrlet into saying, or screaming, rather, our signal. We weren’t sure wether or not it would work, and so we did have a backup signal and a plan to kind of just go if she said something close.

But let me tell you, hearing an enraged teenage girl screaming at your boss, “Sit the f*ck down you boomer-ass Karen!” And knowing that thats the go signal is the best feeling. Truly euphoric.
(Bonus points if your boss fires back with “you’re the one who’s a boomer here bitch, I was the Queen of Portugal when the boomers were BORNNNN!!!!!!”)

So I get up from my hiding space, dust myself off, grab the hilt of my sword, change my mind, pull out two gadgets, and make my way through the dripping foliage. I have to move fast, I only have a few minutes to get where I need to be for stage two of our grand plan. I pick my way through bushes and branches, around rocks and puddles, sneaking up and down small hills. Eventually I reach the clearing where Phase 2 will commence, though I’m hesitant to call it a clearing when it’s really just a juncture of several small trails. Many Odd Squad agents are huddled in the trees and foliage. Ms. O and Scarrlet should be headed this way soon, but for now all we have to go off of are the noises in our earpieces. I hunker down a meter or three away from the ‘main path’, ie, the one that’s bigger than the rest, next to Orchid, who gives me a stiff nod. We say nothing to each other, absolute silence is key to our victory. All we have going for us, all we have had going for us for quite a big portion of this war, truly, is the element of surprise.

We lie low for seemingly forever, waiting with bated breath for Ms. O and Scarrlet to make an appearance. Other agents occasionally sneak into the clearing and fade into the bushes. And finally, when ive been crouched for so long that my calves have started screaming at me again, a distinct sound rings out, the strange, screeching, ringing, buzzing clash of gadget light on metal. The air around the the clearing electrifies. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Orchid, without looking, gently puts her hand on my knee, which might be the nicest thing she’s ever done, and I put my hand on hers in response. And then we both shift into position, ready to spring, gadgets in hand. There’s the snap of a twig breaking. A roar. A harsh bark of laughter. Through the trees, a tendril of green smoke. And then a crash, a snap, a thud, the sound of someone running through the bushes, a grunt, more snaps and crashes, the sounds of two people grappling with each other.

And then, crashing through the trees with Scarrlet in a headlock, roaring at the top of her lungs, “FOR ODD SQUAD!” comes Ms. O.

And what a fine entrance it is, quickly accompanied by the answering roars of agents of all ages, big and small, brandishing swords, gadgets and shields, as we leap up from our hiding places and charge Scarrlet.

However she’s not out numbered for long. Her faithful troops come thundering in to fight for her. Ms. O roars again, and we roar with her. And then I’m face-to-chest with Noisemaker, who must have been released or escaped from our holding cells at some point, but that thought only briefly flashes through my mind. The rest of it is pain, and rage, and a rock-solid determination to win this war.

I attack.

Chapter 75: Chapter seventy five: Fault

Chapter Text

JULY

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Keep working.

And f*ck a bitch up.

Noisemaker blows his trumpet of terror, and I’m momentarily struck with debilitating fear. But I shake it off with a snarl.

“We just keep running into each other, don’t we?” Noisemaker smirks.
I see red. “f*ck you.” I growl, blasting at him with my gadget. He dodges, just barely, and I follow my attack up quick smart, pushing him away from the main path, not giving him a moment to breathe. He jumps, plays a note on his flute, ducks, and doges away. I advance, dodging the green music notes that come from his flute, still firing gadget after gadget, trying to inflict as much pain as I can. His face is contorted into an ugly snarl. He plays his flute with an astounding amount of finesse, considering im still attacking him with murder in my heart and Odd Squad’s victory on my mind, and I continue to dodge the bright green notes, because if being a odd squad scientist has taught me anything, it’s that if it’s fluorescent and floating, it should not be touched.

I duck, and throw a shot toward him, but as I lurch back upright theres a sudden, searing pain in my left shoulder as I collide with one of the musical notes. I shout out and clap my hand to the hurt. and then immediately pull away spot because my hand feels like it is ON FIRE.

“Holy sh*t!” I grit out, but I don’t have time to do anything about it because Noisemaker is still up and active and out. for. blood. So I clutch my burning hand in the cuff of my lab coat, ignore the slightly less intense burning on my shoulder, and squeeze out a couple of shots from varying gadgets as fast as I can. Thank the holy merciful gods, one of them hits, and Noisemaker staggers backwards. He trips on a tree root, tumbles backwards and lands flat on his back in the damp leaves. He seems stunned.

And again im faced with the reality of this war. Im expected to kill. And I- cant. I’m standing over Noisemaker, holding a gadget. With the right one, I could kill him. But I cant. I cant, I just cant!
And then Noisemaker looks me in the eye, dead in the eye and says this.
“Where’s your bravado, Oscar? You used to be so daring, putting yourself in danger. Are you scared. Or was it just the proximity of that f*cking traitor that made you so brave? Too bad that you can’t kill me, because the fact that you cant means you’ll never see him again.”

I totally blank, and when I come back to my senses he’s nowhere in sight and I’m walking though the back paths of High Park like im fleeing the scene of a crime. I take a couple of shaky breaths. God I hope I didn’t kill him. Please god do not let him be dead. I don’t think I could live with myself if he died. If I killed him.

And then theres a long, drawn out scream that sounds like Odelia, and im running.

~

“ODELIA!” I yell as I run toward the sound. “ODELIA!” I push through the trees, branches whipping my face and arms. I dont have to run far before I stumble into a small clearing. Odelia is lying on the ground, still screaming, clutching a gadget that’s buzzing and sparking, and theres a trail of broken branches leading into the scrub. I kneel down next to Odelia and vanish the gadget from her hands. She stops screaming.

“Odelia. Odelia can you hear me?” I say, shaking her shoulders gently. I press my fingers to her pulse point. It’s there, thank god, but she’s not responding.
“Odelia. Odelia open your eyes. Open your eyes Odelia. Open your eyes.” I laugh, a little nervous, my voice hoarse. She doesn’t move. I take her hand.

“Odelia.”
She squeezes my hand, just slightly, and it’s almost enough to make me burst into tears.

“Oscar.” Her voice is barely audible.
“Odelia.” I say, pulling her close to me, cradling her head in my arms. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”
She touches my arm, gently.
“You’re my best friend Oscar.” 
“I know. I know. And don’t talk like that. Im gonna get you help. I’ll call Dr. O, it’s gonna be okay, I- I promise.”
“You’re the best Lab Director Odd Squad could have.”
“No, no, Odelia, stop talking like that.” I order, pulling out my badge phone. My hands shake as I dial Dr. O’s number

~

“Dr. O.” She picks up.
“Oh thank god. Odelia’s hurt real bad, I don know what happened but she needs help, And I don’t know if I can move her.”
“Hang tight Oscar. Someone’ll come soon.”

~

Odelia’s still rambling, something about best friends and no-one’s fault, but I only catch two words.

‘Busted gadget.’

My mind races, but I take a deep fortifying breath, and keep telling her that it’ll be okay. My heart breaks every time I say it.

“I love you Oscar. You’re an amazing scientist, and my best friend.” Odelia smiles.
“I know.” My voice breaks.
“I couldn’t ask to have a better lab director.”
“I know. I love you too Odelia.”
“Find someone good to take care of my lab.”
“I- Okay.”

She smiles, and her head falls backwards. I fumble for her pulse. It’s not there. I grab a gadget and attempt to shock Odelia’s heart back into its regular rhythm, but it doesn’t work. I struggle for breath, clutching Odelia to my chest as best I can with only one working hand and a shoulder that feels like its on fire, blinking back tears.

“Odelia. No. No, no no no no! ODELIA, NO!” I scream. The rain mingles with the tears on my face as I kneel over my best friends body, shoulders shaking.
~

The med team arrives too late.

Chapter 76: Chapter seventy six: A red so deep it's black

Chapter Text

JULY

Odelia’s death leaves me shaken and angry, a broken mess of emotions and ‘f*ck you all’ energy.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

One of the nurses hands me a cup of water, treats my burned hand as well as he can, and offers to get me off the battle field, but I decline.

Keep working.
Right?

I take a minute to collect myself after saying goodbye to Odelia, clean my glasses, and then stride back out into the park.

~

The torrential downpour of rain plasters my hair to my forehead, drenches my clothes, even under my armour, and soaks into my socks when I inevitably step into an ankle deep puddle. But I keep going, following the sounds of fighting through the park, stopping to help the occasional lone agent battling a villain and then pressing on, fury burning a searing hole in my heart, fury with myself, with my shoddy f*cking gadget building skills because if I had just been a better scientist, if I had just been more careful, if I had just-

Well maybe she’d still be alive.

So now someone has to pay.

And I’m going to make. It. HURT.

~

The small band of agents I’ve made acquaintance with by way of fighting together and myself move deeper into the park, gadgets and swords drawn, everyone on high alert. One chick, Onexus, has a pair of daggers in her hands and AT LEAST three more strapped to her person, which I am simultaneously impressed and terrified by.
But I don’t have long to dwell on my fear, for the sounds of fighting are drawing closer, ever closer.

~

Tensions run high, nerves are on edge, and finally, we break though the trees, out into a small battleground, with our chins lifted high and our teeth gritted, a battle cry on our lips once again.

I march into that clearing, gadgets in hand, a dark sneer twisting my mouth.

Breathe.

The fight is a blur, all screams and swords and gadgets, heavy, rapid panting breaths, blood and mud and rain and pain.
I lose sight of my companions.

Breathe in.

And then I come up against Noisemaker. Again. He’s bleeding but standing, and he looks LIVID.

Breathe.

I see a vision of red so deep its black.

Breathe out.

Noisemaker says some sh*t about how I cant even do my job right, how I half-assed it and ran away. I laugh. Because oh my f*cking lord, If someone has to pay and I’m faced with this… bitch, then so help me I’m going to make. him. pay.

Keep working.

~

I slash out with a real powerful gadget, the one that Oona dubbed ‘The Menace.’ The light in it is sharpened so much that it’s a fine, honed edge, powerful enough that it can cut clean through boulders with no issues. The tip of it barely grazes his arm but oh my word is there a lot of blood. He screams, his face contorted in agony but I don’t care. I am going to inflict as much pain on this piece of sh*t as I possibly can. No more games.

I switch out gadgets to something with slightly less firepower but a LOT less damage control.

Its a double-hander of Ogglethorpe's creation, and with a little ingenuity and a lot of scrap metal, the Shrap-case-atron is a wicked painful gadget. It encases the target in a thin shell of scrap metal, which then burrows into said targets skin. Its extra as f*ck and I wouldn’t usually use it…

But like, what the f*ck, right?

I hit the button with one hand, holding the gadget as steady as I can with the other. The kickback knocks me a wee bit off my balance, but I regain my footing quickly, and watch as Noisemaker falls to the ground, writhing in pain, screaming.

~

Another thing to note about gadgets. Don’t ever, ever, hold them directly to another person, or yourself, when firing them. The shock and force is enough to instantly kill an elephant, even disregarding any side effects. A good rule is that you should be able to hold the gadget at arms length and still have about fifteen centimetres between the end of the gadget and the person you’re fixing. anywhere inside that is the 'blood circle.' Its a brutal hit and is very messy to clean.

But if you don’t care about fixing someone, and you’re just taking care of an unfortunately human shaped problem, then completely disregarding that rule is a really great way to make sure someones dead.

I cancel out the Shrap-case, switch out gadgets, kneel down, and fix the problem.

~

I stand up, slowly. Let out a long breath. Wipe my blood stained hands on my lab coat. And then whip around with a gadget out as a hand touches my shoulder.

The person who’s touched me is dressed in a green bodysuit, so I think it’s safe to assume the they are not an agent. I use my single favourite gadget, ever, the handheld fan. I flick it out in the direction of the villain as fast and hard as I can, activating the hidden spikes.
The villain twists around, protecting their front as the spikes shoot out. They’re small but insanely sharp, each with a maximum range of about 5 meters. The villain gets a couple of spikes in their shoulder, but straightens up and cracks their neck, otherwise unaffected. They shoot a stream of blue light bubbles toward me. I sidestep.

Not fast enough.

One of the bubbles hits me square in the thigh, leaving a circular wound that feels like it goes kinds deep and almost immediately starts bleeding. I swear, but snap my fan shut, twirl it around in my fingers once, and then flick it open again and start fanning it rapidly, activating the poison air feature. I'm shaking a little as I fan the air, trying not to cry with pain. The slightly green-tinged air wafts toward the villain, who covers their nose and mouth instinctively. Not that that will do much, as it doesn’t have to ingested to work.
They send another stream of blue bubble toward me, and I duck, but GreenSuit has more than one trick up their sleeve and a green bolt of light grazes my cheek. I swear, again, loudly and with vehemence. I pull out another gadget at random, just something to get them down while the poison does its job, and land on my temporary-stoneinator. The small, hand-held gadget that I fixed… oh god was it really a whole year and half ago?

It doesn’t matter, it works like a god-damn charm.

GreenSuit lurches backwards as they’re hit, and then freezes, encased in stone. I jerkily nod at their frozen stature, avoid the cloud of green air, and barrel headfirst into the next villain. Or, rather, elbows first, punching them in the solar plexus as hard as I can. They double over, winded, gasping. I go to take them down, but I'm tackled from behind suddenly. I grunt as I hit the ground, but when I go get up theres someone sitting on my back with an arm braced across my shoulder blades. A gloved hand grabs the back of my head, and I go still. I struggle for breath, but I swear to myself that I am not going to scream. No matter what, I will not scream. I cry though, shaking silently, eyes shut, face pressed into the dirt. The hand on the back of my head tightens. A voice growls in my ear, one that I don’t recognise, but that still scares the LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of me.

“You pathetic f*cking waste of air. Why are you still fighting us? You know you’ll lose.”
I just shake, terrified.
“And look at you. You aren’t even trying to fight back, you’re just making this so much easier for the villains. You are nothing. You’re a waste of space. Lucky for you I’m feeling… generous, so I’ll let you live out your last moments to the fullest.”

~

Don’t scream. Don’t scream. Don’t scream. Do. Not. Scream.

~

And then my forearm guards are unbuckled, and there's a cold metal press of a knife on my skin. And I forget my resolve not to scream. I'm trapped, powerless as the knife drags down my arm, my skin splitting open, again. again. Not again. I thrash under the villain, crying out for someone, anyone, at the top of my lungs.

But no one comes.

Breathe in-

The villain suddenly gets off of me, almost like…
“Thats my f*cking boss! Thats my FRIEND! MY BEST FRIEND! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM! DON'T YOU f*ckING HURT HIM!” Oona screams, and there's sounds of someone being punched, violently.

I scramble to my feet, and am immediately enveloped by all the remaining scientists, which just makes me cry harder. Theres a buzzing sound, a growl of pain, a final punch sound, and the sound of someone falling over, and then Oona rushes over and envelops me in a crushing hug.
“Youre okay.“ She mumbles. I just nod, mutely.
“Thank you.” I finally get out. “And- im sorry. Odelia she-“
“We know Oscar.” Odie says, solemnly.

I break down crying again.

Eventually though, I pull myself together, hold my chin up high, and look round to my fellow scientist heads.
“Let’s finish this guys.” I say.

~

We form a loose circle, hacking through the foliage, taking down villains as we go.

And eventually we run into Scarrlet and Ms. O, still fighting, surrounded by a ring of fighting agents and villains. I sigh.
“I hate this.” Ogglethorpe says, casually enough that he might’ve been mentioning the weather. (Still. Raining.)
“Yep.” O’Conner says, scratching his nose.
“I suppose were supposed to go in?” Odie queries.
“Unfortunately.” I growl.
Well then.
In we go.

~

I fight for longer than one might have believed possible, weariness sinking into my bones, bloody face and scabbed knuckles.

I honestly feel like just lying down and crying, but I literally cannot. Otherwise, you know, I’ll die. I can, however, vent my frustration in other ways, like yelling. Loudly. And aggressively. And then kicking the villains butts.

I lose track of whats happening. I fight so many villains, collect so many wounds, almost lose my f*cking leg. But I just keep going.

Theres so much pain. And suffering. And death. And it’s like… like I feel all of it, in this weird way. Not even just the Odd Squad agents, but the villains too. Like, my pain is their pain. And for a moment, a fleeting moment, I am suddenly sympathetic. But that pain is only there because they started it. They started it. And when I remember that, my sympathy dissolves.

Breathe in, breathe out, keep working, is engraved into my mind like a drumbeat, a constant, pulsing, thumping, beating on the inside of my skull.

It seems like, no matter what we do, no matter how many villains we kill, they just keep coming, they just keep coming. And we- we cant keep going all day. Im starting to lose steam, my gadgets are getting harder to hold, and the rain keeps bucketing down.

~

And then, over the clamour of the battlefield, I hear the final signal.

“SOMEBODY JUICE ME!”

It’s time.

I knee the villain I’m fighting in the groin and take out the Grow-Hand. It’s a glove that will allow Ms. O to control Scarrlet’s plants. I activate it and lob it to the nearest agent, who catches it, looks around, and passes it again. This game of gadget hot-potato will continue until it gets to Ms. O, who, hopefully, will be able to use it to finally end this.

I go back to fighting the villain.

~

A few moments later, a bolt of green light splits the sky in half, and I look up for just a moment and smile. She’s got the gadget. But while im distracted, in those crucial FIVE SECONDS that I'm not paying attention, the villain I'm fighting slashes at my hand with their gadget.

I dont quite move fast enough.

I tamp down my nausea.

Instead, shakily, with my left hand, the hand thats still in tact, I fire a killing blow at the villain. They fly backwards. Dead. Very, very dead. I move quickly, tearing a strip off the bottom of my lab coat as best I can and shoddily bandaging up my right hand, or what's left of it. It’s a bloody mess. I'm missing my index, ring, and pinky finger, and the top of my pointer finger, as well as a good chunk of my palm. When im done wrapping it up I lean over and throw up.

When I'm done emptying the contents of my stomach, I straighten up. Someone's in front of me, but they’re wearing a Tube operator uniform, wielding a sword and attacking the villain that would otherwise be attacking me.
“You right mate?” He asks me. I step up to his shoulder and draw a gadget.
“God knows I’ve been better, but I’ll live.” I respond.
“Thats the spirit!” He cries.

~

We keep fighting. Ms. O has the gadget, so now all we’re waiting for is…
There’s a strangulated cry, an anguished sob. As if by instinct, every agent, every villain, even the wind itself it seems, falls silent. I lower my gadgets, hesitantly.

There it is.

“Why?” Ms. O asks, voice ringing clear over the now silent battlefield. “I understand wanting take me down, I was a prick to you, but why all of Odd Squad? Why all this death Scarrlet?”

Silence.

“I see.”
“f*ck you, you don’t see sh*t Oprah.”
“I probably deserve that.”
“Oh, you have NO idea.”
“No, I don’t. But if you told me-“
“No.”
We hear Ms. O sigh, the weary sigh of someone who’s fed up with fighting, but who’s destined to fight for their whole life.
“So be it. Im sorry, Scarrlet.”

Silence.

A cloud of green smoke, tinged with red.

“For Odd Squad.”

Chapter 77: Chapter seventy seven: Aftermath

Chapter Text

JULY

I have to take a moment to adjust. Scarrlets… dead? Finally? Really?

Is it… over?

Well… not quite.

~

Theres a whirring, buzzing, thumping sound from above, and agents and villains alike look up. A white and grey helicopter descends from the heavens.

“Oh, NOW The Big O appears!? After we’ve already f*cking WON the war!? After we already did NINTY-FIVE f*ckING PERCENT OF THE WORK?!” Ms. O yells. Some of the villains attempt to creep away, but I, almost without thinking about it, set up a barrier around the perimeter of the park so that the villains won't get too far. The helicopter continues to descend, and everyone scrambles backwards to clear a landing space, bar Ms. O, who, still cussing out the literal Big O, has to be dragged backwards by Oona, Orville, and O’Brien.

~

I’ll admit it. I am somewhat less than awestruck.

It could be the fact that The Big O looks so out of place here, in his pristine white uniform while everyone and everything else is covered in blood, and mud, and drenched in rain.

It could be the fact that, having just fought a literal war against adults, this kindergartener, despite his status and no matter how old he really is, just isn’t that impressive.

It could be the fact that, having seen Ms. O command whole troops so powerfully, knowing what was at stake and watching her earn the hush that falls over the room when she walks into it as everyone clings onto her every word, the silence that falls over the clearing when The Big O steps out of the helicopter feels a little bit undeserved. Cheap, even.

But I think the most likely reason is that, much like Ms. O, I’m angry at him.

And I’m not the only one.

Looking around, I see a lot of angry, upset, hurt faces. And while the clearing does indeed go silent, no one bothers to kneel. I'm glad of that.

But he is still, you know, The Big O. So…
He clears his throat.

“Agents and Directors of Precinct 13579 and surrounds. Let me begin by offering my sincerest apologies that I have not been present for the duration of this war. There was, as I am sure you are all aware, a situation in Atlantis, which was, as we now know, a decoy. For my absence, I am sorry. However, I applaud you for your bravery and dedication. And I grieve with you for the lives lost in this war.”

He sounds like he’s about to go on a whole spiel, so I am eternally grateful when Dr. O strides into the clearing, takes one look around, and shouts over the top of The Big O.
“RIGHT! There are agents who are injured here, what are we all standing around for?” She yells.

~

That puts the whole situation into perspective, and people are immediately busy. Ms. O sends out some of the less injured agents, along with several agents from The Big O’s headquarters who were unlucky enough to be in her line of sight at the time, out to search the whole park for injured agents, and another party out to look for villains. Dr. O and her nurses spring into action, setting up a tent, beds, an area for casualties, the whole nine yards. They’re helped by some doctors that the Big O just happened to have on his helicopter. I’m ushered to one side to wait for treatment.

A nurse I don’t recognise comes down the line of the injured and gives us shock blankets and some more of those handy little stress-relief creatures. Several more are working down the line of us, performing first-aid, patching us up temporarily until they can fix us up properly. I’m still running on adrenaline, so I don’t doubt that everything hurts much more than I can feel. I’m all jittery, like I’ve drunk way too much coffee. I just stare at the floor, trying to remember how to breathe.

~

People come and go, agents that were unaware of Scarrlets death are escorted in to sit down, some are rushed straight to the ‘Hospital’ part of the tent, more than once a body bag passes through. But the most terrifying incident is when a group of nurses bring a body bag through, and then someone escorts Olympia into a private part of the tent, screaming and crying, her face covered in blood.

~

A nurse squats down in front of me. 
“Hey. I’m Orrin.” He says, gently.
“Oscar.” I say.
“Nice to meet you. How you doing?”
I shrug. Orrin nods like he gets it.
“Well let’s take a look at that then.” He says, gesturing at my shoddily bandaged right hand. Im bleeding through my bandages. Orrin sucks his teeth. I wince.
“Is it that bad?“ I ask.
“The wound? I’ve seen worse. The bandages, on the other hand… did you just tear off a strip from the bottom of your lab coat and, what… treat it like sticky-tape?”
“In my defence, it was a very quick fix.”
Orrin just nods, sympathetically, and goes about fixing my hand.

~

Hand now re-bandaged and other injuries mostly tended to, there’s not much for me to do but wait until I’m needed or called to be ‘properly fixed.’ The adrenaline rush is beginning to wear off, and I’m really, really tired now, and very aware of just how much pain I’m in. The kind of exhaustion that sinks into your bones. I close my eyes and put my head in my hands…

My eyes snap open as someone yells my name, immediately alert. I get to my feet, slightly unsteadily, the place where that bubble hit my thigh is making it a little hard to put weight on my left leg. I look around for the source of the call, but before I locate it someone barrels into me from the right, unbalancing me so that I almost fall over, and wraps me in a hug. I breathe in the now familiar, comforting scent of bubblegum, lavender, and that really fancy cologne that, despite my best efforts, I still can’t name.

“Oscar, darling.” Todd sighs.
“Todd, holy sh*t.” I say, almost crying.
“You’re okay. You’re okay.” He murmurs. I chuckle.
“Well, I’ve been better. I say, pulling back and showing him my right hand. “And so have you, what happened to your eye?!?” I start, touching his cheek just below his left eye, which is covered by a pad of fabric that been taped to his face.
“It’s better than it looks?” He says sheepishly. “Look, the doctors say it’s probably fixable. Your hand, on the other… hand… is… What even happened there?”
“I didn’t move fast enough. And I’m a scientist. I’ll do something about it. It doesn’t matter. You’re alive. I’m alive. We’re alive.” I say. He smiles at me, glances around, and then kisses me, hard, regardless of the fact that like, half the agents in the area are watching.
In his defence, I don’t care, because we’re both alive, and it’s going to be okay and his lips are soft, and it’s just… nice.

We break apart, and he smiles at me, again, that dopey grin that I absolutely love. I could stay like that forever, lost in his eyes, but Orrin clears his throat and we look over to see him standing about a meter away, eyebrows raised, a bemused smile playing on his lips, arms crossed.
“Glad you two are happy to see each other, but Oscar shouldn’t be standing, not with that leg.”
I chuckle. Todd looks slightly embarrassed, but ultimately rather proud of himself. We sit down on plastic chairs.
“I guess our relationship isn’t so secret anymore.” I say, leaning my head on his shoulder.
“I guess not.” He says, stroking my hair gently. “Are you okay with that?”
“Yeah.” I say. “Im okay with that.”

Chapter 78: Chapter seventy eight: Home at last

Chapter Text

JULY

It takes forever, but eventually, we get back to HQ. Todd and I never let go of each other, and the second we get back to HQ we book it to the lab, where Possum is sitting sadly in her carrier, mewing. With trembling hands Todd unlocks the carrier and pulls her out. She snuggles up to us and purrs, and we sink to the floor together and let Possum walk all over us. I pat her, reverently.
“I was so scared I wouldn’t see her again.” I say, letting her curl up on my chest. “I was so scared I wouldn’t see you again.”
“Yeah. But we made it.”
“Mmhmmm.”

Not everyone made it though.

~

The funeral pyre is far too high, and it could be the smoke making my eyes water.
But it isn’t.
It isn’t.

It just hurts.

I curl up in a ball on the lab floor and shake, covered in a blanket. I can't focus, nothing makes sense anymore, I can't think straight, everything just feels wrong. Everyone is gone. They’re all gone. My friends, god, my family, are all gone.

O’Donnell, O’Mary, Olaf, even Coach O and Obfusco, all dead. Many more agents, nurses, tube operators, kitchen staff, the doors team, and junior scientists are gone. It leaves a gaping hole in my heart. Odelia’s death hits hardest, especially after the confirmation that she died due to a faulty gadget. It’s my fault she’s gone. My fault.

Someone sits next to me. I growl at them to go away, but they just stay there, sitting next to me in silence. Eventually, I burrow up out of my blanket, and sit up. Odie’s siting next to me awkwardly, chewing on his lip.

“Hey.” He says.
“Hey.” I respond, not looking at him.
“I just wanted to say that it’s okay. Or that it’s gonna be okay.” He says.
“Yeah…” I say, not at all convinced.
“Sorry thats probably not very helpful. I just knew that you would be doing… this, beating yourself up about it, but you cant change it man.” He says, gently. “You tried your best, you did all you could. People were gonna get hurt anyway and thats… just life. Nothing you did or didn’t do would effect that, you can't change what happened. You just gotta.. this is gonna sound so mean, but you just gotta get up and keep going man. Doesn’t matter how you do it, doesn’t matter how fast or slow you do it, but the important thing is to keep going. You can grieve, and thats okay. But at some point, it doesn’t have to be today, or tomorrow, or this week or even this year, you gotta get up and keep going. And it’s gonna be okay.”
I sniffle, and then launch myself at Odie, hugging him as tight as I can. He seems stunned, but then slowly pats my back.

“Thanks man.” I say, relinquishing my hold on him.
“Thats alright. And for the record, your gadgets saved so many agents.” He says, standing up and dusting himself off. He leaves, and I almost burst into tears again.

~

In the days that follow we slowly put ourselves back together, slowly gather the fractured pieces of our hearts and minds and desperately try to undo the damage caused over the last year and a bit. But it’s slow going.

My right hand, or, what remains of it, is wrapped up, forcing me to relearn how to do very basic things, and that bubble that hit my leg has left me with a limp that the doctors say is hopefully only temporary. Todd’s eye injury, however, is not fixable, and actually ends up with Dr. O and her nurses have to perform surgery, (not the only one) to remove it, leaving him partially blind.

~

It’s two weeks after the final battle that Ms. O calls a war council meeting. We all take our seats, but there are a few empty spots.

Ms. O clears her throat, and smiles at us all. 
“I’d like to begin this meeting, this last meeting of the war council, by thanking each and everyone of you for your help. I would like to thank those who are no longer with us, for their bravery. A moment of silence for those who have fallen.”

We stand, silently, and face the wall in her office thats covered in names, heads bowed. After a minute, we all sit agin, and Ms. O continues talking.

“Well, it’s been a long couple of months, but we made it. We’ve done it, and now precinct 13579, and all of odd squad, is safe again. So it is with a grateful heart that I can say, go home! We’re done here, go home! Go back to your families, your friends your lives, please. You have been such great helps, but it’s over now. You can go home now.”

~

Slowly, over the next two days, all the varying neighbouring squads depart. There are tearful farewells and parting gifts and enthusiastic waves. Finally, everyone leaves, and it’s just the agents from precinct 13579 left. We spend a few hours putting everything to rights, cleaning, reverting HQ to what it was before this war. And then Ms, O gives us the all clear. We can go home.

I grab Todds hand.

“Do you wanna walk?” I ask. I don’t think I’m quite ready to be launched straight into our house, especially after not dwelling in it for several months. He shares a similar sentiment, and so we gather our belongings, put Possum in her carrier, and ascend the steps to the outside world. Its relaxing, finally, truly, really relaxing to walk, side by side with my boyfriend, down the street, going home. We’ve been away for so long, so so long. We’ve been scared, and anxious, in a constant state of peril for so long, and finally, finally, it’s over. Im going home.

~

I unlock the door to our house, and we step inside, hand in hand. The room smells musty and abandoned and almost makes me break down in tears again. We walk through to the kitchen, and theres a thick layer of dust over everything. Silently, we traverse the other rooms of the house, which feel almost like a museum. It’s too quiet. We finally make out way to the lounge room, and just walking in there, seeing the couches where we laughed and cried and were just… normal, does it for me, and I break down in sobs right there on the dusty floor. Todd wraps his arms around me gently and presses a kiss to my hair.
“It’s okay. We’re safe. Its over. We’re safe. We’re home.”

Home.

I want to clutch that word to me and never let it go. We stay that way, wrapped in each others arms, for a long time. But eventually, Todd pulls me to my feet and pulls out a gadget.
“Come on darling. Let’s get this place habitable again.” He murmurs. I sniffle and pull out a gadget as well. We make our way methodically from room to room, cleaning, ridding the rooms of dust, opening windows and curtains, talking as we go, determined to make this house habitable again, to fill it with more positivity than is necessary, to wash off the blackened stain of these last few months.

Late in the evening we finish, and Todd orders a pizza for us to share while I flick on a movie, and its comforting how well, how easily, we settle back into this routine that we made all those months ago. Even as we do, I realise that we will never have normal again. That the tainted memory of these last months will always linger, the pain, the suffering, the lives lost. There’s always going to be that grief, the guilt of what we did.

But we will recover.
It will be a slow recovery, like Odie said, but we will recover. It will get back to normal. This doesn’t have to be the be all and end all.

We’ve been through so much.
We can get through this.

Later that night we make our way back up to our bedroom and change into our pyjamas. I sit on the edge of our bed for a moment, thinking, before Todd grabs my wrist and practically yanks me down next to him.
“Home.” He whispers.
“Home.” I agree, even as I’m cut off by the familiar press of his lips on mine.
“Love you so much Oscar.” He says.
“Love you more Todd.” I smile. He kisses me again, hard, and several words chase each other around in my head.

‘Home. Normal. Back to normal. Back home. Perfect.’

Chapter 79: Chapter seventy nine: Epilogue 1

Chapter Text

AUGUST 2025

I wake up slowly, buried in blankets. I stretch, yawn, and then fumble around on my bedside table for my glasses. Todds still sleeping, so I slowly get up, pull the blanket over him, smooth his hair down and kiss his forehead.

As I get dressed I reflect on the past year. It’s been a weird one to be sure.

For most people, outside of odd squad, it’s been a pretty normal, chill, year. But when it’s been ‘go-go-go-panic-rush-death-and-dying’ for so long, the sudden, almost instantaneous slowdown back to our normal workload is… strange. Not bad, just a little odd.

~

It takes us all a hot minute to adjust to… life. But we do. And it does get better. Or... it starts to get better. A lot of people got a lot hurt, and have a lot of residual trauma.

Olympia was the one to try to give O’Donnell mouth to mouth when she was dying and afterwards her teeth were stained with her blood. Now she covers her mouth when she smiles or laughs, and for a long time she covered her mouth when she talked.

Otto shatters completely. When once he was the ‘comic relief’ he is now a shell of a person, and it’s fallen to many of the younger agents and even to Otis has take on that role.

Olive barely talks to anyone, and never cracks jokes in public.

Oona develops ombrophobia, the fear of rain, and she can’t do rainy days anymore, even light rain sends her spiralling.

Ms. O is a kinder person, and although she yells at people she can’t bear the thought of scaring ann agent with her temper. She despises death. She’ll probably never leave odd squad.

Dr. O obsesses over clean hands and would work till she dropped rather than let another patient go.

Todd can’t go to sleep at night without hearing the battlefield in his head. Rain sounds don’t help.

Orchid now calls people the names of those who died in the war, and cries when someone mentions Sherman. No one knows who Sherman was.

Octavia talks to the air around people to cope. If she pretends the agents are just invisible everything is easier.

Polly-graph makes a drink every week for those agents that died to put at their graves.

Oran is more subdued after Olafs death, and he doesn’t tease with the intention of hurting anyone.

Owen becomes stricter and less fun, and he can’t get close to people anymore.

Ocean is more happy go lucky than ever, keeping the mood upbeat and chill to try to convince life itself to move on.

Otis lets loose a lot more to make up for Otto’s withdrawal. He has a ‘stiff upper lip/the show must go on’ attitude so he masks his pain in public. He hasn’t cried about it yet.

And I, well I drops gadgets far less frequently now. It was, after all, a faulty gadget that lead to Odelia’s death. It takes me a log time to reconcile with the fact one of them died under my care.

~

I go downstairs and chuck some toast in the toaster. I pull some leaves off of a head of lettuce, cut up a cucumber, grab an avocado, and wait for my toast to pop. I lean against the kitchen bench. In the early morning light filtering in through the kitchen blinds I hold up my right hand and flex my fingers. It’s been months since Oona and I crafted the bionic fingers that are now attached to the rest of my hand. It still feels strange. They look sick as hell, sliver and gold, kind of steampunk, with an edging of scientist green, and they leave me with all the mobility that I originally had. I actually love them.

Todd comes into the kitchen as I’m finishing my sandwich.
“Morning baby.” He says, smiling at me. He wears a black eyepatch over his missing eye that has a white stripe through it that matches his hair and eyebrow.
“Good morning love.” I say, reaching out and squeezing his hand with my bionic one.
“You ready to seize the day?” He asks, picking up an apple from from the fruit bowl.
“Ugh, don’t say that!” I groan. “Mornings are the WORST.”
“Mornings are a wonderful start to a brand new-“
“Finish that sentence and I will hit you with my shoe.” I deadpan. Todd rolls his eyes, still smiling fondly.

We finish up our breakfast and take the tubes into work. Todd kisses my cheek and then dashes off to his vegetable garden, and I stroll into the lab. Oona greets me in her customary way, by tossing me a water bottle full juice and a broken gadget. I accept them both, pull a hammer out of my lab coat, and get to work.

This is how it is now. It’s better. It’s not perfect. But it’s better. And thats okay. Because we’re okay.

Chapter 80: Chapter eighty: Epilogue two - Oscar Strikes Back

Chapter Text

JANUARY 2035

It is now ten and a half years, to the day, since we defeated Scarrlet. And in that time, a lot has changed.

Dr. O has gone to the moon, Otto and Olive have their own Odd Squad now. Todd starts a villain rehab gardening program.

I'm still at precinct 13579. I'm okay with that. I lead a quiet life, with my boyfriend and our cat, who is now an old lady but is still as lovely as ever.

But today’s a little different. Today is Lab-Con at the Odd Squad Academy. I haven’t been in a while. Fifteen years to be precise. For a while I just hadn’t been able to go. And then, then it was too painful. But today is the day I go again.
More accurately, today is the day that Ms. O is dragging me here by the ear and making me go.
Im not that upset about it if I’m really honest with myself.
I rock up to the front desk. O’Becca greets me with a smile. 
“Whoa, Oscar! So you finally made it to Lab-con!”
“Yep! Oona’s looking after the lab while im gone. She’s done it loads by now, but I mean, who knows? She might hit the wrong button and the whole thing could explode!” I laugh, and O’Becca laughs with me, but its not Odelia, and it should be Odelia, and really, I should NOT be here, this is a bad idea! I turn to leave but Ms. O grabs my arm.
“Oscar!” She says, exasperated. “This is why I came. You always complain about missing this weird… sweaty scientist party.”
“Lab-con.” O’Becca corrects, slightly miffed. “It’s called Lab-con.”
Ms. O rolls her eyes. 
“Oona will be fine in the lab. She’s been working there for ages.”

“Hi!” Oona calls. We spin around, and I bury my face in my hands.
“Oona. Why aren’t you in the lab?” Ms. O asks.
“Bab- I mean Ms. O.” Oona greets us. You said not to call, so I decided to swing on by.”
“You left the lab unattended?” I ask, incredulous. This could not get any worse.
“No! What am I, crazy? I made a wax figure of myself. Anyhoo, I was wondering, when agents sign out gadgets, should they use a pen or a pencil?”
I take a deep breath. CLEARLY Oona is unqualified to run the lab, and someone is going get really hurt, and I SHOULD NOT be here. 
“I have to go.” I say again, but again, as I’m attempting to leave, Ms. O grabs my arm.
“You are not leaving. You are going to go have fun. I’ll take Oona back to the truck.” She says, forcefully, and geez, I forgot how scary she can be sometimes.

She leads Oona away, and O’Becca hands me a bag of scientist stuff, which includes this years pin. It’s cool, and I drop it in my pocket, making a mental note to pin it on later. Apparently we need to give in our gadgets, which seems odd, but hey, I haven’t been here in a decade and a half, who am I to question what rules have been changed. I hand in all my gadgets.

~

It is so refreshing being around other scientists. Some agents just don’t get the beauty of creating new gadgets. I high-five friends, wave to a couple of enthusiastic junior scientists, shake hands with a couple of people, and eventually make it over to Odie and O’ Quincy. Odie tackles me in a hug. There are a couple of trainee scientists watching us curiously, and I know my fiend, so I am not at all surprised when Odie immediately hypes me up.

“Look at this guy!” He says. I wave, somewhat shy.
“He started the first lab at Odd Squad. And came up with combining gadgets!” O’ Quincy says. I'm about to hype them up in return, when one of the trainees asks what combining gadgets is.
“What do they teach them at this place?” Odie mutters, while O’ Quincy goes on a long winded explanation about combining gadgets. The trainee scientists look amazed, which really does make you wonder what the hell they’re being taught at this place. But I’m cut out of my thoughts by a voice over the PA asking us to take our seats, and Odies excited exclamation that Obs is about to give the welcome speech. I groan.

“Wait, whats wrong with Obs?” Odie asks as we walk into the auditorium.
“Oh, nothing.” I say, and then I blurt out, “I mean, if you’re president of the scientists, wear the bow-tie. Thats all in saying. And, don’t you think he’s a little bit.. showy?”
~

We take our seats in the auditorium, and Obs appears in a flash of green light, of course, not wearing the bow-tie. I applaud along with the rest of the room though, albeit reluctantly, and it does give me some measure of satisfaction when Odie leans over and admits that yeah okay, maybe he’s a little bit showy.
The applause peeters out, and Obs smiles genially at us.
“Nice to see y’all wearing your new pins!” He says, which reminds me that I never put mine on, and I fish it out of my pocket. I accidentally drop it though, and as I’m on the floor searching for it I hear Obs say the following.

“Well what a year huh? Another year where the agents get all the glory, while we scientists get nothing. Funny. I called a bunch of you to say that we gotta do something about this but you said, we like ‘helping.’ We’re all a part of the ‘same team.’ But that ends with this gadget! For this shall control your minds.”
Theres the sound of a gadget blast, and two hundred-ish people all straightening suddenly in their seats.
“Now we shall rise up and take control of all Odd Squad!” Obs cries. The scientists stand as one.

Moments later, I stand, wondering if it was mayhaps a joke, pin in hand, but very quickly realising that oh, no. it’s not a joke. They’re really mind controlled. And im not. Which, of course, Obs notices.
“Oscar? It looks like your pin broke. Come down here, I’ll fix it for you.”
“No, thats okay.” I say, looking around nervously. God damnit I knew something bad would happen. Obs is persistent however.
“Really, it’s no problem, just come down. It’ll be cool.”
“No it’s fine I can go do it in the.. restroom.” I say, edging my way along the row of mind controlled scientists.
“I feel like you’re gonna run.” Obs says. That is, of course, exactly what I plan to do, but I bluff.
“Run?” I ask, faking confusion. “Why would I do that?” I take off the second the words are out of my mouth, pushing past people as fast as I can. As I reach the door Obs orders the scientists to ‘get him.’

I burst through the door, slamming it shut behind me, and race out into the foyer, where I run into Ms. O. I stop.
“I knew you’d try and sneak out!” She accuses. I don’t have the time to begin to explain how wrong she is, so I give her the cliff notes version.
“We gotta get outta here!”
“Oscar. You’ve got to trust Oona.” She says, gently, but still forcefully. I want to strangle her, but I can't, so I give her the extended cliff notes version instead.
“Mind controlled scientists are after me!” She doesn’t believe me, which, rude, we work at Odd Squad for f*cks sake, this could totally happen. And it did! Thankfully, or not, im not sure which, the scientists choose that moment to make their appearance.
“Now I believe you.” Ms. O sighs. She overturns a bowl of ping pong balls and we run away as fast as I can. As we run, I hear Obs change the voices of the scientists to a bright, happy tone, which is objectively creepier than the robot voice.

~

We crawl into an air vent just in the nick of time, and Ms. O tries ringing Odd Squad for back-up. It doesn’t work, and thanks to Obs’ loud bragging, we know it’s because he jammed the signal so there are no calls outside the building. Great.

Obs goes off to his office, and Iean over to Ms. O.
“We need to get that remote.” I whisper.
“How?” She whispers back. “I cant use my fists, and you can’t use gadgets. We’re like superheroes without our powers.”
Just then, Ms. O’s badge phone rings, loud in the silence of the air vent. She looks at me, confused, until I realise that it must be coming from inside the building. She picks up the phone.
“Go for O.” She whispers. I can't hear the other end of the line, but Ms. O’s confused, “Oona?” Confirms my suspicions. Ms. O listens for a moment more, and then hands me the phone with a hushed, “She’s inside the building.”
“Oona. We need your help.” I whisper. “It’s gonna take about twenty minutes to explain.”

I explain the whole situation as fast as I can, which turns out to be exactly twenty minutes.
“I need you to go into the ice-cream truck and find gadgets that can help us.” I hiss. She hangs up, and Ms, O and I attempt to crawl out of the air vents.

~

After about two minutes of crawling though the vents Oona calls. I whisper shout at her for about a minute about how to find helpful gadgets, which, in the panic of the situation she seems to have for gotten how to do, before Ms. O nudges me.
“Os-car?” She says, in a normal voice. I hiss at her to be quiet or the scientists will find us, and the she breaks the news that they already did. Crap. We back up, hurriedly, but theres more behind us. We’re trapped!

“Are you afraid of heights?” Ms. O asks.
“No?”
“Good!” She says, and then slams her fists down on the floor of the air vent sending us crashing through the roof of the floor below.

But we aren’t safe for long, because O’ Becca rounds the corner, saying in that creepy cheerful voice,
“Get Oscar! Get Ms. O!”
“How many of you are at this conference?” Ms. O asks. I brush it off and try to talk to the scientists.
“O’Becca! It’s me, Oscar.” I say, gently, pointing to my face in the hopes that she’ll recognise it and break though the mind control. “I know your still in there my friend.”
She blinks.
“Oscar?” She sounds elated, she sounds relieved, she sounds okay!
“It’s working!” Ms. O says. “She’s breaking though!”
“Nope!” O’ Becca says. “Im just messing with you. My mind is still totally controlled!”
“At least they still have a sense of… humour.” Ms. O says.

We turn around and bolt for the stairs.

I pull out the badge phone and call Oona. She picks up faster than I’ve ever known her do.
“Oona. We need a gadget that can slow these guys down, get to Obs, and get that remote!”
Oona is still freaking out, so I take her back through basic science.
“Every gadget has a number on the bottom of it. You combine gadgets by adding the numbers to get the gadget that you need!” I yell though the phone, racing up the stairs. “The computer in the truck has all the gadgets and their numbers, use what you have to build a gadget we can use- gotta go!” I yell, as another group of scientists marches down the stairs towards us. I follow Ms. O though the door to the second floor.

~

We run though the second floor until we reach the elevator, which is, unfortunately, blocked by more scientists. The badge phone rings, and Ms, O quickly informs me that Oona has a gadget.
“We’re on the second floor. Bring it to us.”

I start.
No no no no no, absolutely not. I will not risk the safety of a scientist under my care.
Not again.

I tell Ms. O as much.
“Then what are we supposed to do?” She asks.
“Tell her to send it up the elevator.” I say. “I’ll get there.”
Ms. O instructs Oona, and hangs up. I take off my lab coat. And my next lab coat. And my next lab coat. And the next and the next and the next. Finally, they’re all off.
“How many lab coats do you have!?” Ms. O asks.
“Seventeen. I get chilly easily.” I take my lab coats from Ms. O and run down the hallway, yelling, throwing coats left and right. Scientists fall in my wake. I feel terrible, but they aren’t really hurt, and this is for the greater good. I dive into the elevator and grab the gadget. One look tells me it’s Gadget 85, the sticky string-inator. Great choice. The scientist get up from the floor, but so do I, holding the gadget. They are no match for the power of sticky string, and they fall to the floor. Ms. O smiles at me and hops over the pile of scientists to join me in the elevator.
“Let’s find Obs and get that remote.” I say.
~

After searching every floor, we make it to floor five. Obs' office has GOT to be on this floor. But security here is tight. A pair of scientists walk up to us, and I attempt to disable them, but the gadgets not working! I'm out of string!

We resort to plan B. RUN.

We try every door we can until finally we find one thats unlocked. We hurry inside and slam the door shut behind us. The scientists crash up against the door. Safe at last. But we’re presented with a new challenge.
“Now how are we gonna find Obs?” I ask, back pressed against the door to stop the scientists from getting in. And my blood runs cold when the answer to my question isn’t answered by Ms. O, but rather by Obs himself.
“Found him.” He says, almost pleasantly. “Please, have a seat. And a pin.”

He presses a button on his remote and the ten or so scientists behind his desk march towards us. I exchange a look with Ms. O. We’ve both seen war. We’ve both seen villains, and unbeatable odds. But in this moment, we have no way out. We’re caged in. But in that glance, there's also hope. Oona is still okay. Maybe she can save us. So with a resigned heart, we push off from the door, and surrender.

~

I have a vague impression of what happens next, but nothing substantial.
I have a fuzzy memory of Obs threatening Oona, of her… surrendering as well? No that cant be right, because she saved us. I vaguely remember Oona controlling us so we would pin down Obs. I have this weird, fleeting memory of Oona.. being evil? Something about ruling the world?

~

And then suddenly I come back to my senses again. I let go of Obs’ wrist and look around for a moment, confused.
“Wh- what happened?” Odie asks. I smile.
“Oona happened.” I say. Oona looks embarrassed. Ms. O looks incredibly proud. Obs looks furious.

~

Obs immediately gets booted from the squad, as he should, and it gives me little spark of joy when the Security agents taking him away offer him a pamphlet for Todds ‘Life of Grime: Villain Rehab.’ He’ll be in good hands if he chooses to go that route.

I, meanwhile, am furious at myself. It’s all my fault. If I had only come to Lab-con more often I would’ve seen what Obs was doing. I could’ve prevented it. I didn’t though. And people who I care about, fellow scientists, even if they aren’t under my care, got hurt. I feel terrible. My friends try to reassure me that is wasn’t, but I’m not quite sold. And then Ms. O interrupts.
“The fact is, the scientists need a new president. Someone they all know. Someone strong they can trust.”
Im momentarily confused, but then Ms. O clarifies.

“Im talking about you.”

This startles me. Me? The- president? Of the scientists? No. She must be joking. I could never. I would… be afraid that I would hurt people. I am afraid. I’m afraid that I wont be able to protect them all.
“Can I talk to you for a second?’ I ask Ms. O, getting up and striding away from the ice-cream truck.
“Ms. O-“
“You’re president Oscar now. Call me Oprah.”
“Oprahhhh-” I try. “Yeah, thats gonna take a while. Look. This is a huge honour and I want to but-”
“But what?”
“Im scared of letting everyone down. Of hurting people. And... I’ll miss you.”
“Oh Oscar. I know you don’t wanna hurt anyone. I know you don’t wanna let people you care about get hurt. And thats wonderful. But these kids… They’re smart. Resourceful. They’ll be okay. You just have to do your best, and set good examples, and everyone else will be fine. It’s okay to be scared. But you’ll be great. And, I’ll miss you too, but they need you here. And we’ll visit each other. We’ll hang out all the time. Go. Be the leader I know you are.”
She walks off, and I blink a couple of times, trying not to cry. She comes back immediately though, and offers to hang out now. I’d like that.

~

I get home slightly late that day.
“Big day?” Todd asks as I come in through the tubes. I flop on the couch next to him and press a kiss to his lips.
“You have no idea.” I say.
“Oh?”
“Uh, cliff notes, The president of the scientists tried and failed to take over the world via mind control, and now I’m the president of the scientists.”
“Really? Babe thats amazing!” Todd grins at me. I smile back at him. 
“Well.” I say, using my bionic hand to push back some of the hair thats flopped over his eye and adjust his patch. “That's just another regular day for us, isn’t it?”
He chuckles a little at that, and kisses my cheek.
“I guess it is. I wouldn’t trade it for the world though. Would you?”
I don’t even have to think about it. Despite everything thats happened, I wouldn’t leave Odd Squad even if you paid me a million dollars.
“No.” I say, curling into his side. “Never.”